Clint Eastwood Tries His Hand at Improv Comedy, Debates Invisible President, Wanders a Bit, Drops an Implied F-Bomb, and Gets a Stadium Full of Republicans to Applaud a Call for an Immediate Withdrawal from Afghanistan

Jesse Walker | 8.31.2012 12:18 AM

Just in case you missed it, I give you the greatest speech in the history of political conventions:

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Caleb Turberville 13 years ago

My guess is that this is the time of the year Clint takes that "special medication" that helps with his jazz compositions.
CE 13 years ago

Clint saying we should have asked the Russians about occupying Afghanistan "made my day".... I noticed a lot of neocons not clapping though.
geo1113 13 years ago

It had to be good. MSNBC call it a "debacle."
1. Caleb Turberville 13 years ago
  
  This from the network that runs a solid 7-hour block of Bashir, Matthews, Sharpton, Shultz, Maddow, and O'Donnell.
2. CE 13 years ago
  
  The ABC communists, I mean commentators, were aghast.
3. Brutus 13 years ago
  
  It's like being denounced by the North Korean News Service.
Broseph of Invention 13 years ago

That was the only speech of the convention aimed more at Americans than Republicans. Not so much a train wreck as a drunk guy on a bicycle blocking traffic and making you think twice about living the safe life.
1. Caleb Turberville 13 years ago
  
  I think I can guarantee that there won't be a better speech at the Democratic convention.
  1. Caleb Turberville 13 years ago
    
    But wait, should I hold out for a surprise speech from Sean Penn?
    1. geo1113 13 years ago
      
      Viva Fidel!!!
      1. Brutus 13 years ago
        
        Y Hugo!!
        
        How's that Cuban healthcare coming?
    2. Atlas Stoned 13 years ago
      
      I'd say its 50-50, he has been pretty busy teaching collectivism to Haitians.
  2. Broseph of Invention 13 years ago
    
    I agree, but not for the reasons speeches are usually great. Most of Clint's speech was spent trying to remember the point or joke he was trying to make, but that just made his simple and earnest points all the more honest and real. It's like the nonsense of a drunk night that ends with a moment of clarity and a walk home. Those moments of clarity are the truest thoughts you'll have all week.
    1. Death Rock and Skull 13 years ago
      
      I thought he was doing a Norm MacDonald routine.
    2. Corning 13 years ago
      
      Those moments of clarity are the truest thoughts you'll have all week.
      
      Most of my friends are either alcoholics or former alcoholics. Nothing wrong with that. They do enjoy themselves and they are causing no harm and they are good people.
      
      But I do think it is vitally important that you are informed about an important fact in regards to your above quoted statement.
      
      You are an idiot.
      1. Broseph of Invention 13 years ago
        
        The anonymity of the internet's been good to you, hasn't it 21st century man?
Dan's brother Jeff 13 years ago

The 5 Biggest Lies In Mitt Romney's RNC Acceptance Speech
http://www.democraticunderground.com/125182001
1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
  
  My guess is that it's not hard to find 5 lies in any politician's speech. Which makes me startled to find what the #1 lie (or top 5 if the numbering isn't meaningful) is:
  
  Mitt Romney Goes Birther
  
  Which is just accusations of dog whistles and code words from Romney praising Neil Armstrong and saying it took an American to do the big job he did. It only ends up being a lie if you're the kind of person who thinks "non-American" immediately when you hear Obama's name.
  1. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
    
    When the first point is the "factchecker" (what a bullshit concept that turned out to be) reading something into a statement no normal person would, and then calling it a lie, you can pretty just give up on the rest of the article.
2. Lord Peter Wimsey 13 years ago
  
  It would not surprise me to find five lies or half truths in the first five lines of Mitt Romney's speech (or any other politician's speech).
  
  However, when you link to democratic underground, you are saying "I don't mind lies. I kind of like the ones that shore up my statist ideology."
  
  Either that or you're a libertarian with a serious case of split personality. If so, please have your libertarian personality kick your smarmy leftist personality in the balls.
  
  And then take your medication!
The Immaculate Trouser 13 years ago

Clint's great. Love the withdraw from Afghanistan line.
fabius 13 years ago

There were also a couple of autofellatio jokes.
1. Mensan 13 years ago
  
  I think it was a reoccurring "Go fuck yourself" joke.
Dan's brother Jeff 13 years ago

Romney's $5 trillion in tax cuts favor the millionaires and billionaires
http://www.taxpolicycenter.org.....y-plan.cfm
1. califernian 13 years ago
  
  I'm all for lowing taxes on the middle class aren't you?
2. Lord Peter Wimsey 13 years ago
  
  Good for Romney. Since the top 1% pay almost 40% of the taxes (that's the roads you drive on, parasite) they should be favored in any tax cuts.
  
  Who should be favored? Crack whores? Unionized school teachers? Idiot trolls who don't understand how wealth is created? Leftist reptiles who think employment just happens because of God or Government?
  
  Re-reading the above paragraph, I'd like to apologize to crack whores. I should not have included them in such company.
3. Brutus 13 years ago
  
  Are tax cuts supposed to favor people that don't pay taxes?
Suellington 13 years ago

Not exactly a stadium full of Repubs applauding an exit from Afganistan, but he did get some cheers. Good line. The implied fucking oneself allusions were also a nice touch.
Srungbee 13 years ago

lol that old dude is so full of himself.

http://www.IP-Privacy.tk
LibertyMark 13 years ago

I laughed out loud when he said "He can't do that to himself!". Priceless.

And, the Biden stuff was great.

All the rambling was worth those two things.
1. Brutus 13 years ago
  
  I liked the "you own this country" and "politicians are our employees" lines, both irrfutably true. How we ever lost sight of that is beyond me.
JW 13 years ago

And Gets a Stadium Full of Republicans to Applaud a Call for an Immediate Withdrawal from Afghanistan

Until they're in power, and then we must stay until the sun goes out.

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Clint Eastwood Tries His Hand at Improv Comedy, Debates Invisible President, Wanders a Bit, Drops an Implied F-Bomb, and Gets a Stadium Full of Republicans to Applaud a Call for an Immediate Withdrawal from Afghanistan

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