Americans Think Obama Will Win, What Comes After Ron Paul, Gay Parents on Television, Run!: P.M. Links


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  1. World’s oldest woman turns 116. Only the 8th known person to reach that mark and is apparently still lucid.

    1. Epi, the gf I was talking about before basically looks like her.

      1. 24 is the new 116.

        1. I’m supposed to see her at dinner tonight. I’m disgusted just thinking of it.

          1. Dump her through email, dude. Be a man.

            1. I’m a classy guy. That’s why I always dump my 24 year old girlfriends for being too old in person.

              Also the sports bar we’re going to is really close to a school that just had their freshmen move in this past weekend.

                1. That’s for A.G.

              1. It’s like being a kid in a candy store. Full of chicks.

                1. And everyone is just young enough.

    2. I hope you’re counting Methuselah among those eight, you heathen. Nine hundred and sixty-nine.

      1. There can be only one!

        Frylock: Shake, wait. The Highlander was just a movie.

        Master Shake: No, Frylock, The Highlander was a documentary, and events happened in real time.

    3. She was married for about 40 years, and has now been single for almost 60. Crazy.

      1. is that a life lesson or an exercise in math?

      2. What’s really crazy is that Grover Cleveland was president when she was born and Queen Vicotria was queen of Great Britain. She was 20 when the US declared war on Germany the first time in WWI, and 73 when Neil Armstrong landed on the Moon.

    4. “World’s oldest woman turns 116.”

      Bitch better not plan on eating that fucking cake!

      1. Bitch ain’t gonna “Join Michelle” then!

  2. I’m voting for Gary Johnson. Is that an act rejecting or embracing Paul’s movement?

      1. Good, I have all my bases covered, then.

  3. Man. Australians are pussies.

    1. This past weekend my wife asked me, “Did you hear about those girls who protested in Russia?”

      I answered “Yes, Pussy Riot.”

      Wife, indignant: “What the Hell is your problem?”
      Then she stormed out of the room because I said such a distasteful thing.

      1. I always put a fag in my mouth when I think of pussy riot.

  4. A honcho at Duetsche Bank is suing the City of Los Angeles for $50 million after getting beaten to a pulp by the LAPD.

    A German corporatist had to come here to experience brownshirt violence.


    1. “Hors d’oeuvres… vich must be obeyed at all times vitout qvestion!”

      1. One prawn Gooebbels…

        1. Don’t mention the war!

          1. Me? You started it!

            1. I accidentally mentioned the war, but I think I got away with it.

    2. I guess when he loses the lawsuit, all the white people will riot.

  5. Tasmania attempts to ban cigarettes to anyone born after 2000. Tasmania is pretty much Australia’s California, I’m told.

    1. Unfortunately, some so-cons are as anti-smokey as leftists. God knows what kind of brain damage causes that.

      1. it’s the urge to control. In that regard, so-cons are not much different than leftists except for the things they use govt force to achieve.

      2. I find it kind of surprising that the Greens are opposed.

        The 25 member House of Assembly is split with the Labor and Liberal parties each with ten seats while the Greens hold the balance of power with the remaining five.

        Since this isn’t a Supply (appropriations) bill there is nor danger of the government falling over this so everyone can vote freely.

    2. It’s the inbreeding.

      Actually, from the link:

      A push to phase out smoking in Tasmania in six years looks set to be voted down in the state’s lower house.

      The Legislative Council has passed a motion calling on the Government to follow Singapore’s lead and attempt to create a smoke-free generation.

      Anyone born after the year 2000 would be banned from buying cigarettes when they turn 18.

      While the Health Minister Michelle O’Byrne is willing to explore the idea, the Government’s power-sharing partners the Greens are against it.

      The Legislative Council is the upper house of the Tasmanian Parliament. The guy who proposed this is an independent member of that August but essentially powerless body. Also he’s an ex-copper who also was a couple of years ahead of me at the same high school I went to. I don’t remember him but I’m sure he was as big a prick then as he is now.

      If the House of Assembly (where the Premier and Cabinet live) votes it down, it’s dead. Without the help of the Greens, it likely won’t even come to a vote. There’s probably even some Labor MPs that wil vote against it if it’s a free vote too.

      1. Though it’s not like the Tasmanian Parliament has not gone full retard before.

        In 1992 or 3 they voted to increase the penalty for homosexual sodomy from twenty-five years in prison to fifty.


    3. And no, Tasmania is not Australia’s California, it’s Australia’s West Virginia. (kidding, partly)

      OT, but on the subject of Australia’s California, a friend of my brother’s told me a few years ago that in some “law for farmers*” class he took the instructor told the class that California was the most litigious jurisdiction in the world, New South Wales was second.

      *I assume more of a “how to avoid getting sued” class than any kind of instruction on how to practice law or anything.

      1. My final engineering class was basically a semester long reminder that anything you do can get you sued. So, do good work and keep copious notes.

    4. If you want a couple of movies that show a litle bit about what Tassie is like rent Dying Breed and The Hunter (reviewed here at Hit and Run a few months ago, now streaming on Netflix.

      Both have silly anticapitalist, anti-hunting themes but their worth seeing for the scenery of Tasmania’s Central Plateau and Western Highlands.

      The Hunter in particular will give you a view of the conflict between the Greens and the loggers who have relied on making a living cutting trees in the forests for about four generations while the Greens are a bunch of privileged upper class children who grew up in cities and have a romanticized view of what nature is like.

      1. HTML fail.

        The Hunter.

        1. Fail again.

          The Hunter.

  6. Gawker found the craziest edge of the Internet. Moon truthers who think Neil Armstrong’s death is part of the conspiracy.

      1. Buzz Aldrin’s work is never done.

      2. Am I a bad libertarian when I say I loved that?

        These fucking dickheads have been everywhere the past few days.

        1. I say we take them to the Moon and show them the fucking landing sites.

          1. Only if we can push them out the airlock without a suit.

            1. Why is the airlock not wearing a suit?

              1. Well, technically it’s a tuxedo.

            2. Oh, without a spacesuit. I thought you meant just under dressed.

        2. Not at all. And to top it off Sibrel sent an apology to Buzz afterwards. That’s some Chuck Norris level juijitsu there.

    1. When I finally become God-King of the world, I’m going to have a simple test to determine who gets chemically sterilized, and who’s allowed to continue breeding. One yes or no question:

      Do you believe the moon landing was hoaxed? Anyone answering yes is immediately sterilized.

      1. “Chemically” sterilized?

        Why do you hate Gaia?

        1. I could be persuaded to go with “spayed or neutered” instead. Or perhaps even a “fucktard final solution”. The future God-King is open minded, after all.

        2. If my vet can sterilize my cat surgically for under 50 bucks, we can certainly get human surgical sterilization costs down just as far.

  7. Drone U. Why let the government have all the fun?

    Unmanned Vehicle University received its international accreditation in July, and while it currently offers only online courses, Col. LeMieux envisions a sprawling campus in Lake Havasu, Ariz.

    1. Plenty of target dummies available for the “final exam”?

  8. Slate’s Double XX blog calls for media to ignore Ann Romney’s convention speech because after all she’s only a rich white woman reading talking points they don’t agree with.

    1. Slate has a blog?

      1. Slate is still taking up virtual real estate?

        1. Those biases aren’t going to confirm themselves, you know.

    2. Predictability is what makes it entirely justifiable to not air Ann Romney’s speech. It’s hard to imagine that Mrs. Romney is going to attempt to sell audiences on a significantly revised portrait of her husband, or make any news.

      But We the Media give Michelle ’round the clock coverage because she’s so (urk) “fashionable” and “beautiful”.


      1. They dropped trying to turn the Wookie into a glamourpuss a while back, because it was patently impossible.

      2. if predictability was the calculus, the only place showing the conventions would be CSPAN, and only if someone wasn’t out pushing a book.

      3. I saw an ad imploring me to “join Michelle and tell Barack you’re in” and I thought: WHOA. TMI.

        1. Well, I’ll be ….

          It’s real.

        2. So she’s the “pitcher” and he’s the “catcher”? That’s… different.

          1. His love of cream pies is well known.

          2. So she’s the “pitcher” and he’s the “catcher”?

            That exactly how I pictured it…

            Except for play-night.

            Then I picture Michelle dressed up like a klingon and barry in a torn Kirk uniform, trying to throw flying kicks while Michelle beats the shit out of him. Al while they have ‘Star Trek’ fight music going in the background.

            I think they get some of the Secret Service to play along, busting in wearing Red Shirts.

            But that’s only on really special occasions, because Michelle kills and eats anyone in a red shirt.

            1. I’m not sure what Al is doing in my fantasy…


          3. The request to join her was what got me. I’ve got nothing against pegging per se, but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of double pegging.

            1. On this very special night,
              Help me make Barack airtight.

  9. Even though they’re tied in the polls, most Americans believe President Barack Obama will beat Mitt Romney in November.

    It is almost as if the media is propping up Obama’s image or something.

  10. Penn St won’t play Sweet Caroline at games any more due to uncomfortable lyrics. Instead they’ll be substituting TOOL’s Prison Sex.

    1. Time for a lulz-worthy edition of “Name the Substitute Song”. I nominate the following:

      1. “Boys Boys Boys” – Lady Gaga
      2. “The Boy is Mine” – Brandi/Monica
      3. “Boys Are Back In Town” – Thin Lizzie

      1. It’s Raining Men.

      2. I vote for Michelle Jenneke’s song, mostly because it gives me a chance to post her video.

        1. Excellent choice.

        2. There really are no words.

        3. Fuck off, dipshits! It’s me she’s smiling at, not you.

        4. Yeah, she really needed to win that race to make me LOVE HER.

        5. MOTHER OF GOD

        1. Fuck, if pulchritude and big vehicles are what we’re after, then the only choice is Monster Magnet.

        1. “Shit, blood, and cum on my hands…”


        2. Nope. That’s why I made it the first suggestion.

      3. The Chiffons – “He’s So Fine”

    2. because nothing says child molestation quite like a Neil Diamond song. About a grown woman.

      1. Neil Diamond should sue Penn State into oblivion. The entire institution obviously deserves to be razed and its earth salted.

      2. Where it began
        I can’t begin to knowing
        But then I know it’s growing strong

        Reaching out
        Touching me
        Touching you

        Good times never seemed so good

        Uh-huh, somewhat “uncomfortable”.

        1. Not more than “Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show”

        2. How about this?

      3. Neil Diamond claims he wrote the song about Caroline Kennedy as a child, so it’s actually the creepiest song of all time.

        1. I’ll see you and raise with Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)”. Given his proclivities, I find it to be incredibly disturbing.

          1. This may be appropriate…or not.

            What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

            Neil Armstrong WALKED on the moon.

            Michael Jackson…

            …fucked little boys in the ass.

    3. I’m hoping the new Sox follow their lead.

      1. For old timers, having a shitty dysfunctional team and ownership everyone hates is what it means to be a Sox fan. This year is just teaching those who were not alive before 2004 what being a Sox fan actually means.

        1. I’m actually really happy with the past couple days. I hated Beckett so much I’d given up watching or going.

          1. I can’t believe the Dodgers were dumb enough to take him. I am a Yankees fan. So I have enjoyed this year immensely. The best was it turning out that Little Scrappy Dustin Pedroia was one of the biggest cancer’s in the locker room. I hate that little bastard. And I don’t hate all Red Sox. I love Ellsbury and Ortiz. But I fucking hate Pedroia

            1. I can’t believe the Dodgers were dumb enough to take him.

              They really really wanted Gonzo.

              Pedroia was pretty disappointing this year. I’m hoping he’s less of a douche now that Beckett’s not around and Lackey can’t feel too secure.

    4. They’re gonna bring back Gary Glitter?

    5. I never knew they played Sweet Caroline at the football games. Football bores me, so I never went to any of the games. I watched one once, and regretted it (I could have been doing something else). Knowing that they played this song makes me even happier I never went to any of their games.

  11. Sloopy wanted people to know he added a NFL pick’em league. It’s straight up (not against the spread, no confidence points) and goes all the way through with a running total.

    Where to join the “The Reason H(ampersand)Run Bigorati Pro Football Pick-Em

    League ID: 38814
    Password: reason

    1. Is there a prize for winning?

      1. You get to be Banjo’s sister-wife.

        1. Does that mean you get to bang Banjo’s sister’s wife? Is a lesbian going to go for that?

          1. It means Banjo’s mom adopts you and then you marry Banjo. Also you may possibly require a sex change in there somewhere.

            1. Yeah, ^^this^^ is wildly inaccurate.

              Marriages only come from the College Bowl Pick-Em. The winner of this gets nothing…but the loser gets a blind date with STEVE SMITH on a date to be determined.


        2. I’ve seen sloopy. The prospect does not appeal.

          1. Hey, I resemble that remark.

      2. You get a credential to throw at dunphy in arguments.

        1. Pfft. He totally won the Fantasy Football gold medal in the Olympics.

          1. His wife’s Twitter is about as retarded as you may expect.

          2. When he traveled across the 8th dimension, he powerlifted a planet. It’s true, look it up.

            1. that’s not even IMPRESSIVE since planets are in SPACE. there was no gravity pulling the planet DOWN. du



    Interesting Althouse post on the Obama movie. His Indonesian step father seems like a good guy. Is he still alive? Could we get Lolo for President?

    1. I saw that over the weekend. His brother, George, seems reasonable, too, if not a bit guarded.

    2. Lolo means “crazy” and often “stupid” in Hawaii.

      Pakilolo = crazy weed, i.e. pot

      Is Lolo Choom’s stepfather’s real name?

      1. According to his book it is.

        1. “Any muttonhead can write a book.”

          I find this quote useful when people treat something printed in a book as if it must be the absolute truth. My understanding of publishing anymore is that what’s in books has an excellent chance of not being actionable. Truth or anything else is up for grabs.

          1. I am thinking Obama got his step dad’s name correct.

            1. I wouldn’t trust the man if he told me my name.

    3. Obama’s mama sounds like a stereotypical liberal twit.

      Her fighting with Lolo reminds me of this article.…..l-Curators

  13. Dear Prudie:

    My daughter Bella has a great playgroup that meets once a week after school. We were REALLY lucky to get into this group. The girls come from some of the wealthiest families at the school, and since our family is more working class, we love that Bella is able to see how the other side lives and maybe even look for something to aspire to one day. So far Bella has had so much fun with all the girls. But last week I got a nasty email from one of the mothers. I sent some homemade cookies and store-bought veggies and dip for the snack last week, and apparently this was not up to snuff! The mothers said that my vegetables were clearly not homegrown and organic and that they could taste the pesticides and preservatives on them. They asked if I knew that ranch dip is high in cholesterol and saturated fat which leads to heart disease. I was in tears reading this email.

    So. Much. Fail. in one question.

    First of all, your daughter’s name is “Bella”, which is a fail in and of itself. Second of all, instead of telling these nasty Mean Mom bitches to fuck off, you cried.

    Good golly.

    1. Plus, you had to get your kid into a “playgroup,” what ever that is, to get other kids to hang out with her. And those kids are the spawn of some truly awful folks. And somehow you feel bad about yourself.

      1. It is not the kids. It is the parents. The parents revert right back to being in junior high. We have to get little Bella into the right play group. Kids are a designer item to these people.

      2. There was a Simpsons that was almost identical to this letter.

    2. I almost want to have children just so I can torture other parents and school administrators.

      1. I figure that’s inevitable for me. And if I can’t, I’ll get the wife pissed off at somebody and watch the lulz erupt.

      2. It’s fun.

        There are few people better prepared to abusively deploy the rules of a bureaucracy against itself than a motivated libertarian.

        I sent my kid to public school just because I know I’m going to love the 15 year hate fuck so, so much.

        1. I am a lawyer too. I get paid to read regulations and make people live by them. Trust there is nothing a bureaucrat hates more than someone who actually reads the rules because they never do.

          1. I can second that.

            I can’t tell you how many jumped-up apparatchiks I have silenced simply by asking them to send me a copy of the rules they claim to be enforcing.

    3. This has to be a troll. Nobody fucking does this IRL, right? They wouldn’t use their kid to suck up to rich people, right?

      1. That is just it. If they were sucking up to rich people, I could almost forgive it. No they are using their kids to suck up to the “right people”.

      2. of course, they would. Kids are a status symbol, kinda like people who have the tiny dogs they treat like children.

        1. I have a country of hundreds of millions of people who I treat like children every day.

      3. I read it as she was trying to give her daughter a leg up by introducing her to friends from rich families. People do this, and it’s not contemptible, John.

        1. Yes, my objection is not the “leg up” part, because we all want something better for our children. My objection is that she was letting herself get bullied for the sake of social status. That’s degrading.

        2. introducing your kids to other kids is not a problem. You, the parent, sucking up to other parents because of the size of their wallets is pitiful.

        3. I find it utterly contemptible. Maybe her daughter should just be allowed to be a kid and have fun playing with the neighbor’s kid or something. Can’t we delay the social climbing until they are at least teenagers?

        4. Why? What are those rich people going to do? Give her money? Why not just find good people to introduce her to?

          1. Why? What are those rich people going to do? Give her money? Why not just find good people to introduce her to?

            I did not automatically assume that just because they were rich that they were bad, and I assume neither did she.

          2. Brett,

            Having gone to a high school that was full of very rich kids, my guess is that they are more likely to sell her some really prime grade coke.

            1. Yeah. I’m thinking Heathers.

          3. I think it’s the mom, in her words, detailing how LUCKY her daughter was to be in this particular group of kids from rich homes. It reads like it’s more about the mom than the daughter.

          4. To be fair, in a large stretch of the country, when she says “we’re more working class” she means “we live in a trailer park next to a meth lab”.

        5. And how does knowing a bunch of rich kids, whom you don’t have the money to run with anyway, when you are a child give you a “leg up”? You don’t think those kids are not going to some day realize little Bella is not rich?

          1. How does having friends who may be future CEOs, lawyers, doctors, politicians help?

            Gee, John, I dunno. What a mystery.

            1. Yeah Randian, because every idiot son grows up to be successful like their parents. And certainly being in a play group with a future CEO is going to be a big help. That is nuts.

              1. Enough of them do, John.

                1. I think the damage of turning your child into a social climber at age four probably outweighs that possibility.

                  1. We were REALLY lucky to get into this group.

                    What, do they have tryouts or something? It’s really fucking appalling.

                    Maybe Bella can learn to be a self-important, pretentious fuck who harangues people who don’t live up to her high standards.

                    1. Like telling olympic athletes what they should eat when she has an ass the size of a buick? There might be a job opening when she’s old enough.

            2. Wealthy people do have the means to ensure greater opportunity for their kids, but not success.

          2. My good friend in HS’s stepdad co-owned a small (8 figure) oil company with his brothers. They had enough money to buy racehorses. You know how much good that’s done me? None. Except that my friend is still an awesome guy and I’m glad I know him.

    4. My daughter Bella has a great playgroup that meets once a week after school.

      I should’ve stopped right there. The stupid cunt deserves whatever she gets.

      1. I don’t necessarily object to it. Kids don’t have to do all of their socializing in school, you know.

        1. They also don’t have to do their socializing in rigid groups run by uptight bitches, either.

          When “hanging out with friends” becomes a “playgroup” it’s a hair’s breadth from being a clusterfuck of parents’ cliques and politics even in a best case.

          1. Yeah, this. In my day, parents met and became friends with other parents because their kids introduced them in finding friends they were comfortable with. Managed friend groups based on the parents’ social status or income or politics is a disaster of childhood stress and inferiority complexes waiting to happen.

          2. mmmmmmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmm,
            mmmmmmmmm, mmmm.


      2. some years ago, it was Tiffany or Heather, and in white trash America, Crystal. Now, Bella. You know, if you name your daughter Isabella but want a shortcut, Izzy would work.

        1. I have some friends that named their daughter Isabella… in 2004, just before Twilight came out.


          1. it’s less Isabella than Bella. Not every name is served well by being shortened.

        2. I met one Izzy ever. She worked at a Moe’s and went to the same college I did. I frequented that place a bit more than was advisable for my belt, and it was always after I finished work so the place was pretty deserted when I came in just before they closed. We tended to chat briefly and I eventually ran into her at a downtown bar. It was going really well until I referred to her as my group’s nickname of “Moe’s Girl” a couple of times in succession. Apparently Izzy is too hard of a name to remember.

      3. You know how many successful people still keep in touch with friends from when they were in grade school? I’m betting zero.

        College, grad school, maybe there is something to that but otherwise it’s all bullshit.

    5. The one underneath that is even better, with the fucking enormous pussy asking why his girlfriend is upset that he won’t take her virginity. Spectacular.

      1. In fairness, the dude didn’t want to get sent up for statutory. I don’t blame him at all.

        1. Enormous. Pussy.

          1. Disagree. Being branded a sexual predator ruins your entire life. I have to give this guy props for having the foresight to follow his head and the law and not his dick.

            It’s not fair or right that it’s this way, but he’s smart.

            1. Jesus Christ. Do you have a dick?

              1. Yes, and I would prefer it not be hanging out in the General Pop shower, thanks very much.

                1. Seriously, what if he knocks her up and dad hits the roof? Dude’s going to prison. Guaranteed

                  1. Anyone below the age of, say, 24, should not be thinking about the consequences of getting pussy. For fuck’s sake, sack up and go use your dick for what meant for.

                    1. Fuck that. She’s already saying “take my virginity or I’ll dump you”. Next step is going to be “marry me or I’ll tell daddy and the police you sexed me up”

                    2. She’s gonna say that anyway, you idiot. WHEN IN DOUBT, BANG THAT TWAT.

            2. You idiot, at that age you’re supposed to think with your dick. I certainly did and never got caught.

              1. Randian is thinking with old age, but underestimates female treachery. Hit it, because if she’s crazy enough she’ll report you for statutory if you don’t.

        2. Yeah, but at the same time there are things they could do to satisfy each other that stops short of full on penetration. He’ll certainly be more popular with women when he learns how to use his tongue and fingers.

          1. All sexual conduct is covered under statutory.

            1. but do dads get as upset about their little princess being felt up? I know they do about her sleeping with someone, no matter how willing a participant she was, which makes the guy’s decision, all in all, forward thinking.

            2. True, but it’s safer than full-on sex and there’s a low risk for pregnancy and anyone finding out.

    6. God damned 1%ers

    7. Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!

      There was a whole episode where the other moms in Maggie’s playgroup gave Marge shit for not having healthy organic snacks and serving stuff in *gasp* PLASTIC CUPS!!!!!

  14. The lion was gonna wander about England…but it got high.

    1. Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.

      1. Great flick.

  15. In 2011, there was the Hampshire White Tiger, whose alleged appearance near a sports field stopped a cricket game and led to a police alert (the tiger turned out to be a stuffed toy).


    1. Only a cat of a different coat, that’s all the truth I know.
      In a coat of gold or a coat of red, a lion still has claws,
      And mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.

        1. It’s such an awesome song, I want it played at my wedding. Oh, wait….

      1. You horrible human being. Now I have to listen to that song on repeat for the next half hour.

    2. the tiger turned out to be a stuffed toy

      After they shot it with the Fossgate Bullet.

    3. They also have a sense of humor that diverges from that of Americans. And they like punking the authorities in a way we don’t.

      1. Probably because it’s a lot easier and you have a slightly lower risk of being shot.

  16. As a life long Dodger fan I was elated to hear that Vin Scully will be returning to the broadcast booth for his 64th year with the club.

    I was also amused to see this local news anchor tell Vin to “get his shit together” after she read off his long list of accomplishments.

    1. Can they please get ESPN and Fox to hire him?

  17. I mentioned texas cops today in a.m. links, and then I just ran across a perfect example. comments from a policeone article on open carry.

    Posted by santuro on Sunday, August 26, 2012 07:11 AM Pacific Report Abuse
    … Some people here told you that this is a cop’s site only. You are not one of’em. If you are aloud to be here for some reason that I don’t agree with personally, than be our guest. But when a cop is telling you you are wrong, it is the same as in the streets. He knows better and it all go as he said…

    1. And one more:

      Posted by santuro on Monday, August 27, 2012 04:31 AM Pacific Report Abuse
      “I hope that I did not traverse your jurisdiction on my last few trips to Tx. God only knows what your reaction would have been if we engaged in this conversation face to face.”

      You see how little you know about law enforcement in general? In the State of Texas my jurisdiction IS the State of Texas. And I saw your remarc about carrying a tape recorder for when those “ants”, or “anits” how you call the cops that might stop you while you are “OCing”.
      You know what? You ARE one of the little no-goodnicks we see in this videos. And considering what you say, you hate the copland more than the cops you believe hate you. I can sense that small man mentality in your attitude.
      … if you get stopped by a cop in Texas and you are carrying a pistol (and it better be concealed), make sure you don’t mislead him with that “law enforcement professional” BS because you brace then yourself to a long lasting traffic stop. That expression for us, cops, means something else. You wouldn’t know. You are not a cop, and obviously not on our team anyway, that’s why you carry a voice recorder with you.

      1. Policeone does a magnificent job of confiming every worst idea about cops that we have. I can’t go there or my head explodes.

      2. Ah, the new professionalism.

      3. Copitude. That’s what we should call that. Or pigitude.

      4. Here’s one more:

        Posted by gtpd on Monday, August 27, 2012 05:23 AM Pacific Report Abuse
        I would be very suspicious of anyone, who routinely carries a voice recorder on their person while not engaged in any type of law enforcement activity! It seems to me @t11spanner is looking for a police encounter to record. I agree with your 2nd Amendment beliefs, but do not agree with your tactics.

        1. Though he’s not Texas. I just love the “only cops should have voice recorders” statement. That’s a new one.

          1. Huh. I guess the one I carry around with me makes me some kind of freak?

            Oh, wait, it just makes me a paranoid bastard who’s currently involved in two court cases. Any of the principals in either matter calls me, that shit gets recorded. Single party consent, bitches.

  18. “Children at an Australian school may not do cartwheels, handstands or somersaults unless under the supervision of a gymnastics teacher. But ? but ? childhood obesity!”

    I coached with a guy from Brooklyn, who learned double-back flips on the fucking sidewalk. Australians are pussies.

    1. You see that crap here in USA, too. We are all collectively becoming risk-averse, but there are pockets of resistance.

    1. I posted that on AM links the other day. Sad.

      I am wondering at what point in the next ten years when the full implications of the higher education bubble is going to hit feminists or one of their male toadies. At some point they are going to realize all of the bachelor’s degrees that women are getting are a sham. The screaming and tears about women being taken advantage of by the evil patriarchal academic industry is going to be epic.

      1. We’ve already seen that with the “I am the 99%” campaign. They blamed the banks.

      2. I think they’ll just say it’s evil men ignoring their noble credentials because they’re women and hiring men with engineering degrees instead.

    2. Homo, reflects an 18th-century masculine bias in science.

      No homo.

    3. Oh my god my brain hurts:

      Then, at some point, your father spent a few minutes close by, but then left. A little while later, you encountered some very odd tiny cells that he had shed. They did not merge with you, or give you any cell membranes or nutrients ? just an infinitesimally small packet of DNA, less than one-millionth of your mass.

      Did you know the sperm you came from didn’t “merge” with you and was almost unimportant because it managed to fit half of your DNA into a small amount of mass? Also, “you” are the egg. Life begins before conception (but sperm are not potential lives)!

      Over the next nine months, you stole minerals from your mother’s bones and oxygen from her blood, and you received all your nutrition, energy and immune protection from her. By the time you were born your mother had contributed six to eight pounds of your weight. Then as a parting gift, she swathed you in billions of bacteria from her birth canal and groin that continue to protect your skin, digestive system and general health. In contrast, your father’s 3.3 picograms of DNA comes out to less than one pound of male contribution since the beginning of Homo sapiens 107 billion babies ago.

      That’s right everyone, it’s the mass that matters. Not the fact that without those half you genes you wouldn’t exist at all.

      Emphasis added myself because of stupid wording.

        1. Then, at some point, your mother trapped you away from your father. A little while later, you encountered a very large cell that she had shed. It did not merge with you, or give you protection. It ripped you apart into a ton of pieces.

          Over the next nine months, she forcefeed you some minerals from her own bones, oxygen from her blood, and general nutrition and she kept you from using your immune system, turning you into a cannibal unable to fight off simple germs. By the time you were born your mother had fattened you up by six to eight pounds. Then as a parting gift, she spewed in billions of bacteria unto you from her birth canal and groin that continue to cover and infect your skin and digestive system. In total, your mother’s 9 months of physically enslaving you comes out to over 80 billion years since the beginning of Homo sapiens 107 billion babies ago.

          1. Women invented slavery–I knew it!

      1. Let me know when they get to the stage where they cut out their own tongues, you know, just for the epic lulz.

    4. This is some kind of performance art, right?

      1. Yes, it’s called “he thinks this will get him laid and he couldn’t be more wrong”.

  19. A Utah television station will not be running new fall show The New Normal because of gaaaaaay.

    Saw the preview commercial for it during the Sunday night game. Looked even dumber than your average sitcom.

  20. Now for a moment of silence, while our president poignantly remembers the late Neal Armstrong.…..issist.png

    1. Is that the Alien on the right?

    2. Although I didn’t agree with him, Armstrong cast aside his isolation from publicity just to go to Congress to trash the president’s space policy.

      I didn’t agree with Armstrong because I think the future of manned spaceflight is and should be in the hands of the private sector. I don’t know how or why this state-loving-and-aggrandizing administration inexplicably is supporting a commercial path to manned spaceflight, but it is.

    3. Whoever took that picture has some talent. Whoever selected it to go on the official White House statement, or whatever it was, has no talent.

      1. They should’ve faked up a picture of Obama placing his foot into Armstrong’s famous first footprint on the Moon.

        1. “Make a giant leap for mankind – donate to Obama 2012 today!”

          1. “Tranquility Base, here. Buzz and I have voted for Obama.”

            1. Roger, Tranquility. We copy you on the vote. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. We’re breathing again. Thanks a lot.

              1. This is the LM pilot. I’d like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening in, whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and contemplate the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own way by voting for President Obama.

      2. A smart photographer lets the material do all the work for him. In this case its the radii of the president’s ears that unify the composition.

    4. Wait a second. That’s the official “Mourning Armstrong” picture? Where’s, you know, Armstrong?

      I dislike this president more and more with each passing day.

      1. Truly, he was a great man indeed, if he can make The Leader reflect upon the moon thus. Award his widow a sinecure!

        1. It’s all about him, isn’t it? Well, the last laugh will be Armstrong’s, once Buzz Aldrin slugs Obama for this slight. I bet Obama is a Moon Hoaxer, too.

          1. No moon hoaxer, myself, but I love reading up on their conspiracy theories and evidence. There is something ingenious in the kind of person who is good at spinning conspiracy theories. You give your audience five or six real facts that you lay out for them and then you gradually slide your batshit in there so carefully no one notices.

            1. It’s fascinating and very instructive. It also helps to have gone through the analysis when more plausible theories are cast about.

            2. Uh, I think you mean “evidence”.

  21. Chinese painters accidently push scaffold into high tension wires (NSFW)

    1. I wonder if that dude was conscious while he was on fire.

  22. your WTF of the day


      1. I saw that. How is that any easier or quicker than just using the halves of the egg shell? I’m frequently surprised what makes the rounds as miraculous on the Intertubials.

        1. Because that’s a pain in the ass and I always break the yolk membranes on the shells. Besides, there’s no SCIENCE used if you do it the old way.

          1. I defy your science and your unnatural methods for separating the egg white from the yolk.

            1. That’s just your skinvelope talking, lobotomite!

          2. That’s because you’re a clod with hams for hands. The shell method is super easy if you’re not Bizarro Superman.

            1. I also have very little practice. Waffles are for subhuman carb-addicted fatties, and I only want hollandaise sauce a few times a year.

              1. There are other reasons for separation, like as a garnish on steak/tuna tartare, stuff like that. Clod. When you masturbate, do you frequently break your penis?

                1. Only when I dislodge a scab, thank you very much.

                  1. That’s not scabies, it’s crabs, just so you know.

                    1. In this case, it was a tick.

                    2. No, it was just a really huge crab. Did you eat it?

              2. Warty: Anti-Eggs Benedict and waffles. Bad for breakfast, bad for America. Vote Not-Warty.


                2. “Not-Warty 2012: this time, why not not the worst?”

                  1. I just can’t abide Warty’s anti-breakfast positions. Frankly, breakfast is my favorite meal.

                    1. All breakfasts are permissible in Wartingrad, as long as they are omelettes. Do you need 10 years in a breakfast reeducation camp, comrade?

                    2. I defy you and your breakfast tyranny. I intend to lead millions in separating yolk from white, even when they intend to use the whole egg!

                    3. I am splitting from you, ProL, and forming the Cold Pizza Breakfast Party. Who is with me?!?

                      (thin crust lovers only–no deepers need apply)

                    4. I saw a picture of Neil Armstrong making pizza. It looked kind of deepish to me.

                      You lose!

                    5. If there’s no bacon, it’s not breakfast.

                    6. But what of sausage and its friend, steak?

                    7. Bacon is a condiment for real meats. If you don’t have a real meat for breakfast, you might as well be eating waffles.

                    8. I am amending my Party name to Cold Pizza or Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs with Sausage Gravy Breakfast Party.

                    9. What, no biscuits? Sausage gravy without biscuits is an abomination.

                    10. Biscuits are just less complicated waffles. Fuck that shit. The sausage gravy goes on the steak and eggs.

                    11. Biscuits are the key to sausage gravy. It’s completely pointless without them. Fucking northern heathen.

                    12. Plus, who ever heard of putting gravy on waffles? What a fucking New York moron.

                    13. I’m a Seattle moron now, I’ll have you know!

                    14. Seattle is part of New York, you idiot.

                    15. Same thing. If it weren’t for the South, America would have no cuisine.

                    16. If by “cuisine” you mean “deep fry everything and pretend that’s cuisine because our food has no subtlety”, sure.

                    17. What’s the pinnacle of northern cooking, the Philly cheesesteak? I bet you use Velveeta on your pizza.

                    18. Someone from Florida really shouldn’t be mocking anyone else regarding their choices of cheese. You used Velveeta as your example because that’s the fanciest cheese you know.

                    19. I’ll have you know that we have a perfectly lovely cheese shop in our neighborhood.

                    20. I found some queso blanco that had been in my fridge since February. The cheese had let off a bunch of gas and the package had blown up to a perfect sphere. I tried to fry it to see what it would do, and it just sort of liquefied instead of browning like it’s supposed to.

                      I eventually decided not to eat it.

                    21. Cheese is made by aging. Therefore, any aged milk product is edible. Next time, enjoy!

                    22. ProL, would you say that you’re a Cheez Whiz guy or an Easy Cheese guy?

                      I know Warty is a Easy Cheese guy, because he likes…things…that are easy.

                    23. “You got my Cheez Whiz, boy??”

                    24. When I lived in Chicago, people loved this place with fries that included melted cheese product on it. It was at that moment that I realized that I needed to return to the South.

                    25. Episiarch, of course, is a cheese conissieur. He knows about all three kinds of cheese: Provolone, Kraft Parmesan, and Mozzarella made from skim milk.

                    26. Kraft Parmesan, and Mozzarella made from skim milk

                      ARRGGGHHHHHH it’s like Kryptonite

                      I need to go get myself some Manchego or Asiago to wipe the thought of ProL’s favorite cheeses from my brain.

                    27. I think that movie covers all subjects, including cheese.

                      Your story about the queso would have been a lot better if you had eaten it anyway.

                    28. I wanted to. I should dig it out of the trash and eat it tonight.

                    29. I think that’s a good idea.

                    30. Most great dishes probably have their roots in someone’s garbage.

      2. That will do wonders for my baking. Plus, that is really cool.

  23. The moon walk in colour

  24. “Oh, it wasn’t an orgy,” I smile, wondering how to explain the next part. “Harry’s no ginger Berlusconi in the making; he’s no bunga-bunga prince. No, in the UK posh boys just think it’s funny to take their clothes off. They think nakedness is very, very funny.”…..downP.html

    1. “Scientific”

    2. Jesus. As much as the right annoys me and disgusts me, the left is just moronic. They keep trying to “prove” that conservatives and libertarians are stupid, clinically insane, or pure evil.

      This shit gives science a bad name.

      1. I think I can prove that you’re stupid, ProL. You’re talking to me, after all.

        1. The evidence is overwhelming.

    3. Wait. If I become conservative, I can “bend reality”? I’ll have to consider it then. I didn’t know it came with super powers.

      1. Yes. Which means you can lead the reality-based community to its totally fact-based and-not-at-all-completely-mired-in-emotion conclusions.

      2. Remember, when you’re ready, you won’t have to.

      3. “There is no unsubsidized spoon.”

    4. Continuously pathologizing your opponent’s is extremely annoying.

      Liberals are clinically insane that way.

      1. Opponent’s viewpoints.

        and stuff.

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