The Olympic games have given us a healthy dose of entertainment two days before the opening ceremony.
Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou has become the first athlete to be kicked off an Olympic squad for something said on social media after tweeting the following:
With so many Africans in Greece … at least the West Nile mosquitos will eat homemade food!!!
Moroccan runner Mariem Selsouli has failed a drug test. This is her second time testing positive for a banned substance and she now faces a lifetime ban.
In a "you couldn't write this" level gaffe the North Korean women's soccer team temporarily boycotted their game against Colombia after their images were put next to a South Korean flag. The real Korean drama is scheduled for next week when North Korea and South Korea face each other in table tennis.
Off the fields and out of the locker rooms there is more news.
The Washington Post is reporting that bets are being waged on the chance of a UFO appearing at the opening ceremony (1000 to 1) and London Mayor Boris Johnson having his hair set alight by the Olympic torch (33 to 1).
A strike by border staff that had been planned for tomorrow has been cancelled, though what the government offered workers in order to have the busiest airport in the world operating functionally on one of the busiest days in its history is unclear.
The spectators who do arrive without incident to London will be able to enjoy the Olympic Village and its surroundings in East London where bakers have been banned from displaying their certain shaped goods in a certain formation thanks to the Olympic Committee. Choice of where to go for fries is restricted (unless you get some fish), thanks to McDonald's demanding that they be the sole supplier of fries during the Olympics.
I for one plan to enjoy winning a little bit of money watching Bojo's hair catch fire during the opening ceremony Friday, watching Handball on Saturday and Canoeing on Sunday, all while waiting to see how many more drug dopers and racists we can get kicked out of the games while getting the flags screwed up.
London's Mayor welcomes you to the games: