Barack Obama

New Low in Political Discourse: The Obama Event Registry Bests George Costanza's "Human Fund" in Awfulness


Not content with raising hundreds of milions of dollars from his super-wealthy friends, President Barack Obama is now stealing from the pockets of birthday boys and girls, newlyweds, folks celebrating anniversaries, recent graduates, and (we assume) anyone else with something to celebrate.

Ladies and gentleman, you avatar for hope and (loose) change is now hitting you up thusly:

Got a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up?

Let your friends know how important this election is to you—register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift. It's a great way to support the President on your big day. Plus, it's a gift that we can all appreciate—and goes a lot further than a gravy bowl.

Setting up and sharing your registry page is easy—so get started today.

Hat tip: @LizMair

Past lowlights in gift switching:

NEXT: In a Revenue-Hungry World, a Tax Haven Is Still a Wonderful Thing

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  1. The president could use a George Foreman Grill.

    1. So is he registered at Macys or at Nordstrom?

      1. Dude, this is the annointed one we’re talking about here.

        Neiman Marcus is low end for him

  2. It’s almost as if his campaign is being run by people who have no concept that the situation’s changed since 2008.

  3. So that’s why he kinda, sorta supports gay marriage now.

  4. I’m trying to think just how violent my response would’ve been if someone had given me an Obama donation as a wedding gift. And I’m not a violent person.

    1. Thank them, and then when their birthday rolls around, tell them you donated in their name to Fred Phelps’ church.

      1. Ah, yes, that’s a nice gesture.

      2. That right there is called poetic justice.

    2. I’m being dragged to do my registry this weekend. I too will have the same response if that happens.

      1. Which gun and/or liquor store are yuo going to have a registry at?

        1. Good idea. Pour a bottle of vodka down their insolent throats like those ruskie mobsters did to me one time.

        2. Wouldn’t that constitute a straw purchase? Unless there’s an FFL dealer at your reception.

          1. Good question… when is a gift a straw purchase?

            1. When you’re using someone else’s money to buy the gun.

              But this is far more fun:


      2. I’m being dragged to do my registry this weekend. I too will have the same response if that happens.

        Word to the wise: The best, most rock-solid pre-nup in the world is staying single.

    3. It would be perfectly acceptable to shit in a paper bag and put their name on it.

    4. I would allow them to come to the wedding, and then as soon as they got there, I would physically throw them out, spit on them, and tell everyone what they did.

      Fuck you, Obama, you creepy, disgusting fuck, for getting even more creepy and disgusting.

      1. It’s almost fascinating, wondering what depths they’ll sink to next.

        1. It’s like every day, a new, repulsive low. They can’t keep up this pace, can they?

          1. Why, yes, yes, I think they can.

            1. Are you saying they might hit Peak Low before the election, Epi?

            2. he can use yall for a template me thinks

              1. o3|6.22.12 @ 4:20PM|#
                …”me thinks”

                Not a chance.

                1. If someone did this for Ron Paul, I’d think that maybe politics was taking over their lives a bit too much.

                2. Never happened!

              2. me thinks

                Your mommy was lying when she told you that.

          2. Ace sums it up nicely, re: this latest exercise in stone awfulness:

            “I suppose the targets here are the Bitter Enders — those who really believed Obama was a Lightworker, an actually religious figure, and so in a real way their fortunes (and the world’s, and all the souls on earth) are tied to Obama.

            “As Obama’s political career comes to a painful end, I find old angers being replaced by pity. Pity for this man, whose legacy will be of catastrophic failure; and pity for those who sought something like the transcendence afforded by God Himself, and thought they would find it by voting for a shifty Chicago politician.”

        2. they could have school children sing some sort of obama-hymn.

          oh wait.

          1. It’s as if they’re trying to out do Kim Il-Sung.

            1. soon Obama will come to the wedding himself and claim his right as a lord.

              1. I’d be more worried about Michelle, if I were you.

                1. Just let her win.

    5. If it’s their wedding, I think you go in order make sure you are never invited to anything again. You have to drink the bride’s tears, all of them.

  5. If the happy couples’ donations are sufficiently hefty, will Barry conduct a mass ceremony for them in a football field? Y’know, now that Sun-Myung Moon’s retired and all?

    1. “Barrytown” is still my favorite Steely Dan song, Dylan rip and all.

  6. OK, I am trying to create an account and I can’t. My idea is to register an event for Jerry Sandusky moving to a new home. Timing ought to be perfect…

  7. Why can’t he just get a couple billionaire sugar daddies like Romney.

    1. B/c Obama’s not stopping at “a couple….” billionaires?

      1. So he’s being more democratic?

        1. Even this egregiousness on the part of his beloved boy-king/crime lord does not embarrass Tony.

          1. Shithead is like your dog; you can’t embarrass those who are not self-conscious.

  8. What next, will Obama put out a video of him riding on a school bus as a monitor and show Republican bullies picking on him?

  9. What? No Mao’s Red Book like they give to newlyweds in China? How about Dreams from My Father, its English equivalent?

  10. To: Muhammed Shah

    From: Ali Baba

    You are invited to the funeral of my 5-year old daughter Jasmine, who had her face burned off by a drone in her home in Pakistan. In lieu of bringing money to help cover the funeral expenses, please make a donation to the Obama campaign.

    P.S. my son Abu, who is in federal prison for running a profitable medical marijuana dispensary, is approaching his fifth year anniversary, and would like you to do the same.

    All the best,


  11. It really is all about Obama. How much fucking ego does it take to try to insert yourself into some of the most important events in people’s lives like this?

    If I received an invitation to a wedding where gifts to Obama instead of the couple were recommended it would be enough to make me decline the invitation totally. I can’t tolerate it when politics permeates the fabric of daily life. Politics is a zero sum celebration of death, theft, corruption, and graft. To ask me to accept that as part of a celebration of life is disgusting.

    1. I can skip my response. You, nail, head. Thanks.

    2. I think we’re done here.

      1. Exactly this.

    3. Not me. I would go and ruin the wedding. Mother Of The Bride, meet Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, James Westfall, and The Octagon.

      1. I am tempted to agree with you here, but I tend to be very polite in person, and I was raised to behave well in social functions. I wouldn’t want to ruin their happy occasion, just to make clear that I refuse to take part in tying a joyous occasion to such a base thing as political advocacy.

    4. +111111

    5. Beautiful response!

  12. I am really waiting for them to roll out the funeral registry–where you can donate to the Obama campaign in lieu of sending flowers.

    1. A lot of people were suggesting that in the comments. I think this was on a lot of conservative libertarian blogs.

      It made mine.

    2. Nah, The funeral registry is where you bequeath your belongings to Dear Reader, which meshes well with the death panels.

  13. One good thing came from this: we now know Obama’s nickname for Bush is “gravy bowl.”

    1. I thought that was his nickname for Michelle.

  14. Additional Obama fundraising ideas in the comments to this article:…..nt-1261537

  15. Credit where credit is due: Obama has some huge balls.

  16. Now now, Mr Gillespie, this is a libertarian blog and you’re fully aware of the difference between the pres “stealing” donations and birthday boys voluntarily sending along donation-gifts. Let’s not twist words!

    That said, this is not any less a gross message to come out of the continually gross Obama re-election machine. They’re really pushing the cool-and-hip-dad fetishization tactic.

  17. And of course the top story on Huffington Post is David Axelrod calling Mitt Romney the “Outsourcer in Chief.” Jesus Christ.

    1. Dude, it’s the HuffPo. You’re expecting genuine intelligence and/or discernment…?

      1. HuffPo has Radley Balko.

        1. And my local newsrag carries the baseball scores, each and every morning. That doesn’t magically render the remaining portions of it any more credible.

          1. Yes, but was does it say about Reason when Balko left them for the likes of HuffPo? He was hands down the best writer here; Reason traded their Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

            1. Point taken. 😉

  18. Have the tooth fairy leave an Obama Donation under your child’s pillow.

  19. If someone gave me a donation to Reason I would be pretty happy about that….

    Just saying.

    Also I think Nick would be pretty cool with that as well…

    Just saying.

    1. Sure, but that’s true because for those that know you, it’s a thoughtful gift.

      To specifically ask for political donations in lieu of gifts at a wedding, I think, is a step away from thoughtful, verging quickly into full blown crassness.

      I like others simply wouldn’t attend, however if I did, I would buy a gift of the largest donation I could afford to the opposite group.

      It’s not the same as asking for charitable donations after all 🙂

    2. Yeah, but how would your wife feel? Because let’s be honest, that’s who all the wedding gifts are really for.

      1. Yeah, but how would your wife feel?

        I did not think of that….probably why I am not married.


        1. I’m not married either. I’ve just been to a bunch of weddings and have yet to see something on a gift registry I could picture the husband wanting. ;P

  20. I was told by a Democrat faithful, that the Obama Wedding Registry was necessary to help combat the Republican war chest coffers

  21. No comment from Barfman? I’ll say it then: *barf*

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