Libertarian Mitt?, Secret Surveillance, Busted Prosecutor: P.M. Links

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  • You know all that stuff I've said in court about the sterling character of cops? Fuhgeddaboudit.

    Owing no fealty to the hobgoblin of little minds, Obama has shifted from criticizing opponent, Mitt Romney, as a say-anything candidate to attacking him as a principled small-government advocate who believes "all regulations are bad; that government has no role to play." If only it were true.

  • Spain's Finance Minister, Cristobal Montoro, said the high cost of borrowing for his financially stricken country has effectively shut it out of the bond market. He wants the EU to help bail out Spain's banks.
  • U.S. Magistrate Judge Stephen Smith estimates that federal judges issue 30,000 secret electronic surveillance orders each year. Such orders are effectively immune to appeal, since the subjects are unaware of their existence.
  • James Fyk spent two months in a Baltimore jail and was charged with attempted murder after videotaping a brawl, participants in which had connections to the Baltimore Police Department.
  • With the Massachusetts Senate campaign heating up, Elizabeth Warren's scholarly work is coming under scrutiny, reviving old charges of "scientific misconduct." (HT Lord Humungus)
  • Yaser Othman, Brooklyn prosecutor, took a swing at a cop after being pulled over for reckless driving. A search revealed a joint stashed in a pack of cigarettes. Othman says the grass was planted and the cops are lying. (HT invisible furry hand)
  • Egyptians are taking to the streets, once again, in hopes of driving Hosni Mubarak's last premier from power. They fear holdovers from the old regime may pardon the now-imprisoned long-time strongman.

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  1. …to attacking him as a principled small-government advocate who believes “all regulations are bad; that government has no role to play.”

    Romney, in turn, should accuse Barack Obama of being afraid to use U.S. military overseas and of keeping Wall Street at arm’s length.

    1. No, FoE, because the afraid to use the military charges could ultimately end in us paying for another war we don’t need and won’t win.

      1. Haha, ^^you said “could.”^^

  2. …Judge Smith finds that magistrate judges issued more than 30,000 secret electronic surveillance orders that year. To put that in context, “this volume of ECPA cases is greater than the combined yearly total of all antitrust, employment discrimination, environmental, copyright, patent, trademark, and securities cases filed in federal court,” he notes.

    Then why did it always seem so hard to get a wiretap when Lester Freamon wanted one?

  3. When he turned himself in, Maryland District Court Judge Miriam B. Hutchins denied him bail, stating that “anybody who would drive to Baltimore to videotape an attempted murder doesn’t deserve to be on the streets.”

    Never, ever, under any circumstances, for any reason, set foot one in Charm City.

    1. But John Waters keeps writing nice things about it.

      Wait, maybe what Waters finds charming isn’t the same thing as what I would find charming (despite liking his movies and writings).

  4. But, but, but…it is just an anti-cop bigorati meme that cops manufacture evidence and lie under oath.

    The officer has not been charged and the case against his victim has not been thrown out yet.

    1. I’ll ratchet that up a notch, Sloop. If it had been anyone other than a prosecutor/cop/judge that person would be in jail for assault, and would be black and blue having “fallen” multiple times in custody.

    2. Had a Brooklyn cop lie to a judge at the Coney Island DMV about me running a red light (I did, but barely and he said it had been red for 30 seconds). His lie was so blatant, so “fuck you civilian”, that the judge dismissed it entirely on the spot. The courtroom literally erupted into applause. That was a fun day, except for my drive back into Manhattan where I was watching my rearview mirror for cops the whole way.

      1. I know you were in a hurry to get from your shift in the gloryhole to your other shift in the other gloryhole, but there’s really no excuse for running a red light. The law is the law.

        1. Stop othering him, Warty. A “man’s” gotta make a living.

          1. A man’s gotta know his limitations, and that’s two cocks at once for him. His learning disability really hurts him sometimes, you know.

            1. Two?!?

  5. U.S. Magistrate Judge Stephen Smith estimates that federal judges issue 30,000 secret electronic surveillance orders each year. Such orders are effectively immune to appeal, since the subjects are unaware of their existence.

    We all know STEVE SMITH loves rape. This should not surprise us at all.

    1. Speaking of Steve Smith, he’s now a Slate contributor.

      What Does Human Flesh Taste Like?

      1. “The Zambizi tribe described human flesh as ‘long pig’. Never developed a taste for it myself.”

  6. …was driving on the Whitestone Expressway when he allegedly swerved in front of four narcotics officers traveling in an unmarked vehicle. Sources tell the Daily News Othman was driving erratically, and the cops and other vehicles “had to swerve to avoid colliding” with him.

    Ha, they were narcotics cops, who just happened to find narcotics on the guy they got into a pissing contest with.

    1. I assume they stopped to get witness statements of all the people he cut off. I also assume there is videotape of his erratic driving and audio of the confrontation. Right? Right?!?

      1. Well, there was, but then there were some technical issues and it got erased. But you can totally take their word for it.

  7. Beating a mentally disabled person declared disturbing and unacceptable. But apparently it’s not criminal or terminable.

    FTA: The announcement came three years and two weeks after the incident, and after nearly two dozen attempts by Bayliss and his family to get an answer. The State Police said Friday they are still determining what disciplinary action will be taken against the troopers.

    Animals.

  8. Gary Johnson will be on The Daily Show tonight. Let’s hope it goes better than his interview with Robert Wenzel the other day.

  9. Anti-discrimination laws win again.

    The Court of Appeals determined that a photo studio is considered a public accommodation ? much like a restaurant or a store. As such, the photo studio may not refuse services based on sexual orientation or gender identity ? even if doing so would violate the religious principles of the owners.

    I’m not what you would call a religious person, but WTF?

    1. That is where this ends. I think the guy is dumb not to take the money and do the photos. But that ought to be his choice. We are effectively going to make it illegal to object publicly to homosexuality.

      The danger here is that the backlash will cause people to kill all discrimination laws. Now, I and a lot of other people on this board consider that a feature. But a lot of black people view it differently. And that is why they get upset when gays use the language of civil rights.

      1. Right you are, John! How dare those filthy sodomites claim that they’re just as good as normal people? The real outrage is that they object to the beatings and discrimination they so richly deserve for violating divine law.

        1. Is it not that guy’s right to object to homosexuality and gay marriage? I think it is. I think he is stupid to be that way, but that is his choice not mine. People are free and that means they are free to be stupid.

        2. I don’t think John is saying that. I’m as fervernt a supporter of gay marriage as the next guy, but fuck anyone that is going to try and force people to provide goods and services to them after the state recognizes their union.

        3. Choose your words wisely, Tonio. You’re likely to be labeled a bigot of some stripe. I got called a racist earlier today for having the temerity to say we should leave the middle easterners alone and stop murderdroning them.

          I shit you not.

          1. Jesus sloopy you have been butt hurt for weeks. Would you like me to allow you to ruin another thread while I unsuccessfully try to explain international law to you? Sure if you like.

            And if you don’t want to be called a racist, stop acting like Muslims can’t be held to any standard of behavior.

            1. You’re right, of course. Me calling for the US government to end the occupation of middle eastern nations and for us to stop our murderdrone war is racist because it’s patronizing to muslims.

              You know what’s racist, John? Killing people because they hate us and live in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen or Libya at the same time, while we leave alone British, French or Germans that do the same. That’s racist.

              I’m not discussing it anymore today. I’ve the moral high ground. I won’t give it up.

              1. You won’t discuss this anymore until you restart the argument again in five minutes. And you can keep whatever high ground the voices in your head say you have.

                1. What’s wrong, John? Run out of insults to hurl at me? Or is it time for us to stop paying you to comment on HnR?

                  1. Nothing is wrong sloopy. You are the one who won’t let it go. What is wrong with you? I am not giving you an inch. You are dead wrong. If you don’t like that too bad.

                    1. OK, John. You have proven me wrong with your infallible facts opinions. Happy?

                    2. It’s a good thing that you’re just fucking with sloopy and pushing his buttons, John, because arguing that it’s racist to advocate that our gummint stop killing innocent people with very limited options and who happen to have made poor choices in real estate, would make you sound like a fucking loon.

                  2. John gets paid?

                    1. Federal employees don’t generally work for free.

              2. Hey sloop. Another kid shot dead in my neighborhood last night. Go take some pictures.

                1. Did the US government shoot him in the name of freedom? If so, link, please.

                  1. A death is a death is a death.

                    Or are you an advocate of hate crimes?

                    Or maybe, if you had any balls, you’d set yourself on fire like that guy in Tunisia did.

                    Or you could just rail impotently.

                    1. I seem to have missed something…

                    2. I seem to have missed something…

                      You could read the morning links, but I’ll warn you now that it ain’t pretty. And I’ll admit that I’m half responsible for it.

                    3. Check the morning links Hammer.

                      And Pip the subject is death by government, not two bit gang bangers. When the two bit gang bangers are killing people in your neighborhood in the name of the government you’ll have a point.

                    4. A death is a death is a death.

                      Yep, and there is always someone that needs to be accountable for them…usually the one that pulled the trigger or pressed the button.

        4. Way to be whiny and entitled, Tonio!

    2. I would go to the fallback position. Nope, gender identity or sexual orientation had nothing to do with it. I thought he was a litigious prick, and look here, I was right.

    3. Depending on the election outcomes tonight, I may tackle this one tomorrow.

    4. Is a gynocologist’s office a public accommodation?

      A bit more subtle, but troublesome also – what about a barber shop?

      1. I think the answer to both is “yes”.

      2. oops, off the thread on that. For mo’s sparky.

    5. The logic of the court’s opinion indicates that if you have a business, you have no right to refuse a job because you have personal objections to the nature of the project. You have the privilege to refuse a job if the government determines that your objections do not offend a protected class, but have no right to refuse.

  10. Spain’s Finance Minister, Cristobal Montoro, said the high cost of borrowing for his financially stricken country has effectively shut it out of the bond market. He wants the EU to help bail out Spain’s banks.

    What happens when no one will lend the lender of last resort?

    You jump on the back of the taxpayers–the real lender of last resort–that’s what.

    This is how governments get smaller–the lender of last resort turns to the taxpayers, and the taxpayers say no.

    1. But you just keep raising the threshold for increases until you get 51% of the voters below it. That’s always worked in the past.

  11. “Move that giant heed of yours and get the paper if ya can, lad.”

    “Over the past 150 years, the size of white Americans’ craniums have actually increased in size.”

  12. Didn’t I see this in a Patrick Swayze movie?

    “A Tennessee man faces attempted murder charges after he allegedly shot his former roommate, a local TV meteorologist, with a crossbow and arrow.”

    1. Good thing he didn’t use a proper crossbow bolt, the guy would probably have died.

      1. Nah, a guy I knew in the Army shot a guy with a crossbow. Pinned him to a couch, in fact. The guy lived.

        1. Did he deliver a Schwarzeneggeresque one-liner?

          “He got the point”

          “Stick around”

          1. Not to the best of my knowledge.

    2. It’s also from a MST3K movie, “The Dead Talk Back”

  13. Oh no. San Fran tech boom may push hipsters to Oakland.

    1. The Times has developed a recent obsession with grief-trolling the west coast.

    1. The commentators made me sick.

      1. Except that Ken Spicer guy. I like him.

    2. How did I ever survive childhood?

      1. Shit, not only did we sit in the beds of pickups, we’d hold on and run while my friend’s dad went 10-15 mph. I believe that ended after someone caught a case of road-rash. But it was no more serious than falling off a bike.

        1. Time to outlaw bikes.

          /Martinsville, IN PD

          1. Going outside is dangerous. Ticket the parents of every kid who doesn’t just stay home already.

            1. And then take the kids away from the parents who don’t get their kids enough exercise.

        2. I remember that one of the ways that you knew spring had sprung in Sunny Minnesota was that our dads would actually let us ride in the bed of the pickup truck on our way to whatever place we were going.

          Instead of being cramped up front in the cab with our dads we would all be huddled behind the cab (it was 38 in March for chrissakes) hooting and hollering because Winter was over.

          Seriously, now for a b-day treat I will drive my sons and their buddies to the local park (2 blocks) and they totally flip out. I even had one mom freak out about the “danger” of the entire enterprise.

    3. It’s getting to the point that I am going to have to withdraw from society. That sawed-off little prick actually believes that he is “saving lives” and knows better than the kids’ parents. I hope he dies a horrible fucking death.

      1. Share that on their comments page. They’ll love you for it.

  14. James Lileks has a brilliant take down of the Nanny Bloomburg and his media toadies.

    A culture that redefines food choices as moral issues will demonize the people who don’t share the tastes of the priest class. A culture that elevates eating to some holistic act of ethical self-definition – localvore, low-carbon-impact food, fair trade, artisanal cheese – will find the casual carefree choices of the less-enlightened as an affront to their belief system. Leave it to Americans to invent a Puritan strain of Epicurianism.

    http://www.lileks.com/bleats/a…..60512.html

    There are too many other good quotes to put down.

    1. Lileks is right.

    2. Lileks going after Bloomberg is a little like watching a professional boxer punch out a guy with cerebral palsy.

      1. True. But it is still entertaining, especially when he kicks David Frum in the face.

        1. Can never have too much of that. Although I think the H’n’R commentariat did a better job with Tomasky.

    3. The only thing I take issue with is this.

      But if soda is poison, then portion size is irrelevant.

      Every single chemical is poisonous at a high enough dosage. The dose is the poison. And you could describe sugar as poison, I guess, in the same sense that low-level environmental, say, mercury is a poison. But it’s hisitronic to do so, and you shouldn’t.

      How’s that for pedantry?

      1. Dose determines toxicity?! What other lies do you have to tell?

        1. I’m the fucking grindstone of the razor of reason around these parts.

          1. Razor of Reason…now that’s a band name.

  15. My God Jay Carney is stupid.

    TAPPER: Who specifically is “rooting for failure”?


    CARNEY: I think that when you have a situation where action is not being taken on Capitol Hill where it is obvious, as outside economists will tell you, what actions Congress could take to help create jobs, that there is at least a failure to act. And you know, I can’t tell you specifically whether or not that’s rooting or just passivity, but the fact is that Americans send their members — send their elected representatives to Washington to act, not to do nothing.

    And there is an opportunity, and has been now for quite some time, an opportunity to help the economy grow faster, to help it create more jobs, to protect the jobs of teachers and firefighters and policemen and -women, and Congress has failed to act on those, and Congress has failed to act on — thus far, on elements of the congressional to-do list that would also have positive economic effect.

    1. TAPPER: So they failed to act by not supporting what you support, but they have been passing legislation; you just don’t —


      CARNEY: Right, and the same outside economists — again, not our economists, but the same ones who, you know, get the golden seal of approval in terms of independence, will tell you that those proposals, by and large put forward by Republicans that include small-business tax cuts with the definition of small business that gives a huge tax cut to tax fund managers — I mean, to hedge-fund managers or partners in law firms, would not have any immediate positive impact on the economy. It may have some impact in the future. Some of them have neither short-term nor medium- or long-term positive impact.

    2. I know it’s politics, but the transparent and blatant reference to public safety, public education and womyns in every statement from leftern DC makes me nauseous.

    3. I love that to these fuckstains it never enters their brain that it’s NOT congress’ job to “create jobs”.

    4. Good lord, if only I COULD get my elected representatives to do nothing!

  16. (HT invisible furry hand)

    OI!! OI!! OI!! The spunky sheila has been recognized!

    1. Well, of course she gets the news before we do.

      It’s already tomorrow where she lives.

  17. Deadwood in Space
    http://www.comicbookmovie.com/…..s/?a=61003

    1. Lucas for all of his faults created an interesting world. If he would let other more talented people exploit it, it could be pretty good.

    2. Science fiction and westerns meet again!

      1. You’d think people would be exploiting the shit out of this, given the obvious market for it.

        1. You would think so. People love space operas and Westerns have always made money. Why do those? No lets make Men in Black Six; Spiderman meets the Xmen and call it a day.

          1. It’s easy. Set a story on a planet that has a colony with little to no contact with Earth. I’d avoid an actual western look, but you could do the whole wild frontier motif.

            1. And you could just retell classic Westerns like Outland did. You don’t even need to think up a plot. There are like a hundred great ones ready to be retold.

              1. Exactly. And that was a “western” (High Noon, of course) without looking like one. And a damned fine film, really.

                1. Like Aliens can’t be a stand in for Indians. It is so simple. Hell, I should just start writing sci fi novels.

                  1. I am sure that comment is probably racist and definitely hurtful to Elizabeth Warren.

                    1. No, no, it’s okay. Turns out she’s not a squaw after all.

            2. A space western? That makes no gorram sense.

    1. Somebody hasn’t thought this clever plan through at all.

  18. Les Paul Guitar Swimming Pool
    http://www.woohome.com/ideas/b…..aul-guitar

  19. Les Paul Guitar shaped swimming pool

  20. This here has all the potential to end up like the first chapter of Stranger in a Strange Land.

    “Think of it as a ‘Big Brother’ for outer space. Already, the other-worldly idea has intrigued the Web. The Mars One video has received over 232,000 views on YouTube since it launched less than a week ago.”

    Oh yeah, and its a one way trip.

    1. Have fun. Exploration is one thing you definitely do not want to be an early adopter.

      1. Seemed to work alright for Armstrong. He’s still around spewing bullshit to a full room of congress critters.

        1. He didn’t take a one way trip. I was thinking more of the first North American colonists who mostly all died pretty quickly.

        2. He’s on the wrong side of that debate, but I give him a pass for being Neil Fucking Armstrong.

          1. Good old Neil Armstrong. We used to drive by his farm in Lebanon on the way to American Legion baseball games and blast his mailbox into orbit.

            I wonder if he still lives there? I wonder if he ever put in a better mailbox?

            1. You fucked with Neil Fucking Armstrong? Jesus, I hope they find you and send you into orbit. Without a ship.

              1. You fucked with Neil Fucking Armstrong? Jesus, I hope they find you and send you into orbit. Without a ship.

                Well, Neil was gonna kick his ass, but he’s still waiting for that government grant money to start his new federal ass kicking department. When his wife asked him why he didn’t just sack up and do it without government help, all he could do was stare at her blankly.

                1. Neil was just fucking with Congress. He’s too American not to love what SpaceX is doing. Just who do you think flew Dragon to the ISS, anyway?

            2. Next time I get a time machine, I’m gonna put caltrops all around his mailbox, and then I’m gonna shoot you after you blow out your tires. Fucking with Neil Armstrong is fucking with America, but worse.

              1. He’s like the best thing we’ve ever done. Neil Armstrong, freedom, BBQ pork, bourbon, fake titties.

                1. Neil Armstrong, fuck yeah
                  Comin’ again to save the motherfuckin’ day, yeah

                  1. United States of Armstrongia.

                    1. He’s only a man. He puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like I do with all three of mine.

                  2. While Neil has done some impressive things, an improperly secured mailbox demands action. Can you actually fault Ken? And think of the audacity of doing it to Neil Fucking Armstrong.

                    1. Little did you know that that mailbox was made of moonrock. Now dust, lost forever to us, because we’re never going back.

                    2. If the government is running short of moonrock, they have ways of replacing their stock.

                    3. Ignignokt: Your roommate is a nerd.

                      Err: Yes, on the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks.

                    4. Don’t let Episiarch fool you. He killed a man for Neil Armstrong.

              2. In our defense, he wasn’t the only one. We had a 15 mile drive of mostly country roads.

                I do remember distinctly that some bastard on SR 123 installed a 4″ steel pipe and painted it to look like a mailbox. The lump on my head from the recoil was the size of a golf ball. Not to mention I ruined a perfectly good bat.

                1. You motherfucker. The man sacrificed everything for you, so that an American, not a godless commie, would walk on the Moon first.

                  I hope Warty sleeps with your wife now.

                  1. I hope Warty sleeps with your wife now.

                    You’re entering Organic Mayonnaise-making hipster territory with that comment. Over the line!

                    1. Enjoy your very hairy child in a few months, Sloop. Chump.

                    2. How much biting should my womb expect?

                    3. He will purify you in the name of the Armstrong, the Buzz, and the Holy Michael.

                    4. I didn’t attack the very soul of American greatness! Who knows, maybe Armstrong allowed Obama to be elected, just because you decided it would be fun to betray everything good in the world to attack his mailbox.

                      I am so fucking pissed.

                2. I do remember distinctly that some bastard on SR 123 installed a 4″ steel pipe and painted it to look like a mailbox.

                  Hehe. Now that’s how it’s done. I might have also gone with a painted cardboard one filled with manure and water balloons.

                  1. I might have also gone with a painted cardboard one filled with manure and water balloons.

                    I don’t think your postman would have liked that one bit.

                    1. I don’t think your postman would have liked that one bit.

                      Then you obviously didn’t know my postman.

                  2. I hope Buzz Aldrin hunts you down, too. Maybe everyone is right about libertarians if we truly house anti-Armstrongists in our midst.

                    1. BUZZ…SMASH!

                    2. I love this forum.

                    3. There’s Good Old Buzz, wielding the Fist of Justice in Armstrong’s name.

                3. Shame on losing that Darwin Award, sloopy, better luck next time.

            3. Indian Hill, OH according to wikipedia.

              1. Armstrong is such an American icon that his barber stole his hair to sell to people. Nobody stole Lincoln’s hair. Or Obama’s.

                1. In their defense, Lincoln’s hair wasn’t in a remarketable condition. As far as Obama goes, I blame racism.

              2. Well then he’s moved some time in the last 24 years.

                1. Just like he relocated 43 years ago. To the fucking Moon. Try to whack his mailbox there, you loser.

                  1. If he’s getting something delivered to the moon then he’s smart enough to use somebody other than the USPS.

                    1. That’s right, he has no need of a mailbox on the Moon! He’d just deliver his package himself, like he did decades ago, as the entire planet watched him do.

                      Perhaps there’s hope for you yet, if Armstrong can forgive you.

                    2. You’re so getting slugged by Buzz Aldrin now. Whether that happens before or after the murderdrone takes you out is out of my hands.

  21. Swimming pool shaped like a Les Paul Guitar

    1. Does the Obama administration know about this? You know a Les Paul is a Gibson guitar.

      1. It was done in Canada, so they have no jurisdiction!

        1. American military has no jurisdictional limits. Didn’t you read the AUMF for the Afghan war?

          1. You come here and troll every thread and then you whine when I kick you around about it. If you don’t like being kicked around, why do you constantly insist on starting the same argument over and over again?

            1. Why don’t you take it up with “T” below. His comment was the same as mine. Or do you have a hard-on for just me? Sorry, but I’m happily married.

              Calling me a troll. That’s like the one trick pony you called me the other day, when I chime in on plenty of topics every day. And while not always agreed with, I think I’ve got the respect of most posters and staff as a fair- and liberty-minded poster. I think my reputation is secure. You, however, might want to look in a mirror.

              1. Then why do you feel the need to come in and restart this argument on every thread? I am not the one who brought it up you did. And I am not the one who started with the invective, you were. If you don’t like the fact that I give as good as I get and will come back at you when you call me a war monger and such, then don’t restart the same argument every day.

                  1. Yeah sloopy you are the one who comes on here and whines and moans about how your poor little delicate feelings were hurt. But I need the wambulance. Whatever.

                    1. At least John never fucked with Neil Fucking Armstrong. I want my wedding gift back, you traitor.

                    2. Just for that, I’m all for fucking murder drones now. Fuck Arab children, you don’t fuck with Neil Fucking Armstrong.

                    3. Those kids would willingly die for Armstrong. If we only would kill overtly in his name, all of this anger against the U.S. would abate. After all, they may know nothing about us, but they know that an American named Neil Armstrong fucking walked on our fucking Moon.

                    4. When you fuck with Neil Armstrong, the man who single handily killed Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin and Bin Laden, while simultaneously impregnating the women who bear us the next 8 presidents and the man who will finally discover the cure for the common cold, you fuck with all of us.

                    5. OK, now I believe I have lost the murderdrone argument. These are the most logical justifications I have heard today.

                    6. The murderdrone army is run entirely for and by Neil Fucking Armstrong. He constantly requires fresh blood to slake His unholy patriotic thirst, and every true-blooded American man would be happy to die to protect His supply.

                    7. Sloopy probably has that picture at the bottom of his commode, the fucking treasonous bitch. I call on the government agents monitoring the blog for justice.

                    8. AND his toilet!

                    9. That picture overwhelms a man with tears. Who can I kill to protect that brave American hero?

                    10. Does it truly matter? Indiscriminate killing in the name of the Neil is as good as any other.

                    11. I think it’s fitting that murderdrones will be taking out this offense to all that is Armstrongian, especially considering that Dr. Armstrong invented the drones to keep America safe.

                    12. Puh-leeze. Just cause the man won a game of rochambeau with Buzz Aldrin, you’d think he beat Jesus at arm-wrestling.

                    13. I’m having your Ohioness revoked right now. John Glenn just called you an asshole on the conference call. Asshole.

                      No one has the heart to tell Neil, who will be just devastated to hear that one of his own children attacked him.

                    14. Chuck Norris’ Neil Armstrong’s tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried.

                    15. John Glenn

                      That fuck? 24 years in the Senate driving the stake into American taxpayers and you still revere him? If only I had known where his house was, I’d have smashed his and his neighbors’ mailboxes on principle.

                    16. You moron, Glenn is King of Ohio. Revering him has nothing to do with it. He can, however, have you legally killed by State of Ohio Murderdrone.

                    17. John Glenn and Neil Armstrong together couldn’t carry Woody Hayes’s jockstrap. As a matter of fact, I think Woody was actually the guy in that picture above. Armstrong just glommed onto him and Woody had more important things to worry about like winning Big Ten championships.

                    18. Woody Hayes? Are you fucking kidding? American dies a little with your mockery of our greatest son.

                      I DEMAND THE BAN HAMMER! J’ACCUSE!

                    19. Yeah, Wayne Woodrow Motherfucking Hayes. He landed on the moon before Armstrong. He invented the steel-belted radial and the cure for malaria. And he made the greatest statement ever: “Because I couldn’t go for three.”

                    20. Sounds like maybe you never trashed Armstrong’s mailbox. More like you tried, and Armstrong fucking smashed your brains in with a moonrock.

                    21. What’s particularly ironic is that your foolishness will be even more folliful when Columbus, in a fit of PC guilt, renames itself Armstrongus.

                      Where is your god now, sloopy?

                    22. That picture overwhelms a man with tears. Who can I kill to protect that brave American hero?

                      Paul Krugman. If he’s allowed to go through with his plans for an alien invasion, then they’ll have to pull Neil out of retirement. Now that won’t kill him, but his memory will be forever tarnished after the footage comes out of him running around ineffectually punching aliens with his old ass arthritic fists screaming “Welcome to Earf!!!” at the top of his lungs in a quavery old man voice.

        2. Drones know no national boundary.

          And my last guitar purchase was an Epiphone, because I figure Gibson needs the money to get their ebony back.

          1. Epiphone is too close to Episiarch for me to take that chance. Pass.

            1. Even if my new guitar is a surly, glib, deranged anarchist, what’s it gonna do hanging on the wall?

              Also, a question that can be asked about all anarchists.

              1. It?!?

            2. Wise choice, Ken. You have no idea what body parts and bodily fluids of mine are in Epiphones, as I (secretly) own the company.

              T, you probably want to get checked for herpes and I’d suggest taking a bath in bleach. Now.

              1. Herpes? Shit, I’ve already got up through 12. The bleach does nothing but tickle anymore.

                1. Yeah, T, I got this strain from Warty, along with the skin mites and flesh-eating bacteria, so they’re…uh…more robust than normal. Hey, if you don’t want to heed my warning, do so at your own risk.

                  Ken, you now have Warty herpes too from posting too close to me on this thread. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, even though I didn’t.

                  1. Hey, you didn’t….aw, nevermind.

                    Somebody pass the lye soap.

              2. Haha. ^^This^^ is why I come here. Well, this and so John can kick me around. But mostly this.

                1. It’s not herpes, you colossal pussy, it’s scabies. God, you’re dumb.

                  1. In his defense, scabies isn’t usually so tightly clustered around the genitals.

                    1. That sounds like a challenge to me.

  22. From that article on the guy in Baltimore

    After all, people get in drunken brawls every night without winding up in jail on attempted murder charges.

    The law firm also said that the city of Baltimore is broke and would not pay a settlement even if it lose the suit.

    So I guess cops in Baltimore are free to victimize the public at will now.

    1. So I guess cops in Baltimore are free to victimize the public at will now.

      That just means it’s Tuesday.

  23. Obama has shifted from criticizing opponent, Mitt Romney, as a say-anything candidate

    Takes one to know one. Pot, meet kettle etc.

    to attacking him as a principled small-government advocate who believes “all regulations are bad; that government has no role to play.”

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    If that were true I think a fair number of voters would consider that to be a point in Romneybot’s favor. Really that statement just shows how out of touch Obama is.

  24. Perhaps you thought that the Affordable Care Act is all about making insurance more affordable. Too bad no one told Americans that the law also turned the Health and Human Services Department into a giant venture capital investor for health care. This won’t turn out well.

    Awash in ObamaCare dollars, HHS has a growing investment portfolio that includes everything from new insurance companies to health-care start-ups to information technology. Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is rushing out loans and subsidies like nobody’s business in case the Supreme Court overturns the law or Mitt Romney wins.

    “We’re moving forward with implementing this law, including moving forward with this very important commitment by the President, by the Administration, to community health centers and the people they serve,” said senior White House aide Cecelia Munoz on a recent conference call with reporters. She was referring to $728 million in seed money for new clinics that HHS dispensed last month.

    HHS already makes more grants than all other agencies combined, and it is the purchaser of health care for about one of three Americans via Medicare, Medicaid or both. The problem is that HHS spends its money?$788 billion for entitlements in 2012 and another $78 billion to run HHS’s 300-odd programs?so badly.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..oveLEFTTop

    1. Isn’t it odd that they have passed the buck on almost all government business until after the election, but spending the fuck out of tax dollars so systems can get too entrenched to unravel is Jim fucking Dandy.

    2. “We’re moving forward with implementing this law, including moving forward with this very important commitment by the President, by the Administration, to community health centers and the people they serve, brazenly reward campaign donors, cronies, and friends with misbegotten taxpayer dollars, because fuck you, that’s why

      FTFY

  25. 36 Miami cops busted for speeding.

    “What the Sun Sentinel has done is a service to all police agencies because if they did not know they had a speeding problem, now they do,” Miami Police Chief Manuel Orosa said. “I, like most chiefs around, if you ask them everybody’s going to tell you, ‘We didn’t know it was this bad.'”

    Well no shit. Are they going to say “Well hell yeah we knew about it. It’s one of the perks of the job. In fact, I got to this press conference in 15 minutes from across town. Only ran 3 people off the rode, and I missed that stroller at the intersection by like a whole 2 or 3 feet.”

    1. WTF, they seriously think anyone’s not going to buy their shitty beer on account of some deranged killer drinking it?

  26. ha! I got a hat tip. Eat it, suckers!

    1. Oh, you’ll pay. Don’t think you won’t pay!

  27. And the award to biggest asshole of the day goes to…these fucking cops.

    1. School officials had announced before the ceremony that anyone cheering or screaming for those graduating would be escorted from the building.

      I dunno. The school officials have a serious case of the FYTW, with lumps-of-coal-into-diamond bungholes.

  28. Anna Wintour: The Voice of The People

    “I’m so lucky in my work… I am able to meet incredible women… like Sarah Jessica Parker and Michelle Obama.”

    1. She’s a spoof, right? This is just a SNL fake ad? Nobody’s speech can be that fucking affected and not be part of the joke. I mean, c’mon! Where’s her cigarette holder?

      Seriously lady, reach deep into your ass and pull out the Bryn Mawr sepository. It’s gone to seed.

      1. No, this is a legitimate fundraising ad. Anna speaks to the proles!

    2. I didn’t watch the video. Is she a farm vet?

  29. A page full of cops who are so damn dumb that they buy their own “bath salts” propaganda. No questions asked.

    1. Comment by mudslinger50: Important lesson: At 4:14 he admits and explains that “…you actually do not feel any pain.” It is important for the public to see that pepper spray and batons do NOT always work. Yes, there will be more officer involved shootings because of this stuff, but it is IMPERATIVE that the public (and potential jury) understands WHY the suspect didn’t immediately give up after you sprayed him or hit him with your baton.

      This should also be shown to new officers in training. Pain doesn’t always work!

      So…is it safe to assume cops are pro-bathsalts?

      1. I’m thinking that the one I quoted down-thread would be.

  30. Apparently, an officer can justifiably punch you for “tightening your jaw” in multiple jurisdictions.

    Posted by sert20 on Monday, June 04, 2012 11:21 PM Pacific

    …I also agree that a person clenching their fist and tightening thier jaw is an indicator that he is about to launch an attack, and based on my training and experience, I can, and have articulated these facts during many use of force reports where I initiated the physical contact based on the precursors. Every agency varies, but many times it relies more on the officers ability to clearly articulate the facts leading up to the force. You obviously don’t need to wait to get punched or kicked, but you do need to explain your actions with a degree of competency.

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