Reason Writers at the Movies: Peter Suderman Reviews Men in Black III
Writing in The Washington Times, Senior Editor Peter Suderman reviews the sci-fi action comedy Men in Black III:
Men in Black 3" marks the third weekend this month that Earth has been invaded by aliens — following "The Avengers" and "Battleship" — thus making failed extraterrestrial takeovers an official journalistic trend. It's as if Earth was recently ranked at the top of this year's list of must-invade interstellar hotspots by "Galactic Conqueror" magazine.
The good news is that Will Smith is on hand to respond. As one of Hollywood's most practiced defenders against alien threats — in "Independence Day" as well as two previous "Men in Black" films — he's demonstrated his effectiveness and reliability in situations that require swift action to repel space invaders in about two hours, give or take. You hire Mr. Smith because you know he can get the job done.
Which is exactly what he does here, no more, no less. "Men in Black 3" is an exercise in competence — amiable, enjoyable and entirely forgettable.
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Men in Black is possibly the worst franchise that's come down the 'pike in 20 years. And we get another one! Yay!
Why are we constantly barraged by Will Smith movies? Can't he go away?
Will has a mission, ProL. His mission is to defile all the books and classic scifi that we all hold dear, and he will not stop, ever, until your dreams are dead. He can't be reasoned with, and he can't be bargained with.
Well, that sucks.
"Will Smith stars as Mannie O'Kelly-Davis in Harsh Moon. Smith plays O'Kelly, a government secret agent who has infiltrated a group of evil seperatists..."
Well, that particular stunt-casting is certainly soul-crushing.
Strange. He doesn't look Irish to me.
ahem.
Oooh! Tim Burton reboots the Terminator franchise and puts Will Smith in as Kyle Reese and Johnny Depp as the terminator.
And of course Helen Carter as Sarah Conner.
Why are we constantly barraged by Will Smith movies? Can't he go away?
I wouldn't mind a filming accident.
Or if he were really kidnapped by space aliens.
I don't mind him so much but, please God, do something about his insufferable children.
"Constantly barraged"?
I'm looking at his IMDB page, and this is his first movie since 2008.
I can't hear you over this barrage.
Yeah Epi, so much worse than the X men or the Fantastic Five. I really want to see a man raccoon or whatever the hell Hugh Jackman was in another six movies.
Yeah, but Hugh Jackman is gorgeous, thanks.
I liked him in First Class.
Battleship: based on...a fucking board game. Somehow. Hollywood is officially a caricature of itself now.
Next up, Dice!
Stratego: the movie!
Connect Four - or die!
Rubik's Cube: Six Colors, Six Sides, One Destiny
Wasn't that Hellraiser?
Rosie O'Donnell and John Goodman are Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
In 2013, fans everywhere will pour in to watch the spectacle that is Tic-Tac-Toe: The Revenge of the Os.
Lincoln Logs: Rise of the John Wilkes Booth Logs
Nightmare on Mumbly Peg Street
Hungry Hungry Hippo: This Time, it's Personal
Jenga: The Fall of Man
should have read farther down, rats
Tic-Tac-Toe: The Revenge of the Os.
What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
X-rated Old Maid?
Risk.
Tic-Tac-Toe Lede: "Don't Cross the Line."
Followed by the sequel:
Tic-Tac-Toe: Doublecross
Dammit. ProL beat me to it.
Maybe if one were to concede the notion that it is even possible to caricature Hollywood.
I take Bollywood more seriously than Hollywood.
Bollywood at least knows it is campy fun.,
Well, we already had a rock 'em sock 'em robots movie.
All the ideas we have left are board games or gritty reboots of children's cartoons.
Michael Moore's Monopoly.
I was actually very impressed by Brolin's imitation of Tommmy Lee Jones. When I first heard his voice I thought they had only hired Brolin to look the part and had TLJ overdub him. I might go see it.
With the Borg and the Soro out there, what is an ambitious small imperium supposed to do? You gotta take what you can take.
Although how those humans get NYC rebuilt in time to be ready for next week's invasion is beyond me.
making failed extraterrestrial takeovers an official journalistic trend
Movies are journalism now? Or are you referring to the reviews of the movies?
Aliens? I assumed Battleship was based on the game. Then again, why couldn't a plot based on the game work aliens in? I could even imagine such a story being written, and then someone saying it reminded hir of the game, so they gave it that title.