Mitt and Barry Spar Over Free Markets, ACLU Sues Over Domestic Surveillance, Euro May Be All Over for Greece: P.M. Links

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  • Red light, green light, $123 without the right of appeal …

    In the latest round of an almost-substantial exchange between Mitt and Barry, Romney charges that the incumbent is "attacking capitalism" and doesn't understand basic economic concepts — productivity, in particular.

  • The U.S. Department of Justice faces an ACLU lawsuit intended to force the government to release data about the domestic warrantless use of surveillance tools known as pen registers and trap and trace devices.
  • Targeting what they call "mean-spirited and baseless political attacks that add nothing to the real debate," a cabal of mostly Republican lawmakers in the Empire State want to ban anonymous online comments. The usual suspects (we know who they are) call the legislation unbelievably unconstitutional. (HT Eduard van Haalen)
  • Now that Americans Elect has broken your wishy-washy, centrist heart, you should know that Gary Johnson is polling at nine percent in Arizona and five percent in Wisconsin.
  • With Facebook's messy IPO sparking both chatter and legal inquires, the company may be considering a switch from the NASDAQ Stock Market to the New York Stock Exchange.
  • A second Missouri circuit court judge ruled that red-light cameras violate due-process rights, and so the tickets they issue are unenforceable. The ruling boosts the chances of the state's high court considering the issue. Meanwhile, a New Jersey state senator wants to reinstate his state's ban on the cameras, which was partially repealed in 2008.
  • Greece will leave the Eurozone in 2013, says a Citigroup senior economist, with an immediate 60 percent drop in the drachma likely to prove contagious, but also boosting the country's competitiveness.
  • Want to rein-in the stupid decisions? Try thinking things through in another language! Doing so improves the chances of rational decision-making and accepting greater risk, according to a study in the journal Psychological Science. Vraiment, très intéressant.

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  1. Want to rein-in the stupid decisions? Try thinking things through in another language!

    I know the extra minutes it would take me to convert my inner dialogue to German or Russian would probably guarantee the decision to take that offramp would be made for me.

    1. It doesn’t take minutes to translate KILL KILL KILL to TOTEN TOTEN TOTEN, FoE. Stop being so dramatic.

      1. I was just thinking the Episiarch, the.

        1. Der Episiarch der? I don’t get it.

          1. Wait. You’ve been male this whole time? Huh.

            1. Yeah, I was surprised too. I just assumed I was a hermaphrodite, and then: no vagina. Whoops!

              1. Yeah, I was surprised too. I just assumed I was a hermaphrodite, and then: no vagina. Whoops!

                So is “go fuck yourself” to be interpreted literally by a hermaphrodite? I mean, I would assume the placement of parts would allow for such a thing . . .

                1. I mean, I would assume the placement of parts would allow for such a thing

                  You’ve obviously never seen tranny porn then. With the male parts up front it would be extremely uncomfortable to bend a hard-on back around to insert it.

                  1. You’ve obviously never seen Amazing Penetrations.

                  2. You’ve obviously never seen tranny porn then.

                    You got that part right!

                    With the male parts up front it would be extremely uncomfortable to bend a hard-on back around to insert it.

                    Not even with a slight chub?

                2. Go fuck yourself, Karl.

                  1. Go fuck yourself, Karl.

                    Hey, you’re the one who claimed hermaphroditic experience here, so the question is legit. Now fess up.

                    1. I am neither male nor female, Karl. I am Gethen.

          2. That’s the German for, “derp Episiarch derp”.

            1. No one asked you, Jimbo. This is between me and FoE.

              1. Just like the double dong?

              2. Nothing is ever just between you two, as my raging case of herpesyphllilaids can attest.

                1. Fine, you can share the double dong with us.

              3. Gojira can tap in.

                BUT NOT IN A GAY WAY.

      2. “It doesn’t take minutes to translate KILL KILL KILL to TOTEN TOTEN TOTEN”

        No, it doesn’t take minutes to translate it incorrectly, but why would you?

        “Der Episiarch der? I don’t get it.”

        How to speak German?

        No, you don’t get it.

        Episiarch, when being wrong in one language isn’t good enough…

        1. Yes, because I care when making a joke. So tell me, when did you become this stupid? I’m assuming at birth.

          1. Bullshit. It obviously worked hard at it.

            1. “I have a Master’s in Missing The Joke and a PhD in Being a Chump. That’s why I rake in the big bucks!”

              It’s like talking to MNG.

              1. Stick with me buddy, I’m not much but I’m all you got.

          2. Needs more me.

            And apparently, you care enough to cry about it and make sure everyone knows you were “making a joke”.

            1. Thanks for your input, Mary.

              1. Still needs more me.

                1. As captain and head doctor of this ship hospital, I now pronounce you man and wife with six months to live.

  2. “There’s no question but that he’s attacking capitalism, in part, I think, because he doesn’t understand how the free economy works. He’s never had a job in the free economy; neither has Vice President Biden,” Romney said.

    We know that Obama is pretty good at making sweet real estate deals.

    1. And Hillary struck it big in her cattle futures investment! And don’t tell John Kerry that he is clueless when it comes to acquiring money.

    2. I like this line of attack better than the pearl-clutching “that’s out of bounds” that they seem to have been trying. Would be even better if dropped the “attack on capitalism” part and just put all the energy into the “Obama is a stupid parasite” part.

  3. Obama is really making things easy for Romney. Does he want to lose? Every time he attacks Romney he picks the most retarded non-issue possible, one that usually appeals solely to his own base of synchphants and not the people he has to convince to come over and support him.

    All Romney has to do is sound reasonable with his plans and he’s got this election well in hand.

    1. I want to hear more from these two about “the job of the President”. Maybe Ron Paul will have a chance after all.

    1. Didn’t Radley write about this guy a while ago? Or maybe not, maybe it was a similar case.

      1. Possibly, I just came across this on espn this afternoon though. I understand she got a lot of money from the school district but how can you live with yourself that whole time knowing you ruined some kids life?

        1. $1.5 million probably eases the guilt.

          1. Being a whore helps, too.

      2. That was a case in Georgia, and that wasn’t the girl, it was the state accusing him of rape because he was 17 and she was 15.

        1. It’s yet another one I’m thinking of, I think.

    2. It was uncertain Thursday whether Gibson will have to return the money.

      Because, I suppose, she has spent it all.

      1. What? I’m sure it was prudently invested she’s just been living off the interest.

  4. Try thinking things through in another language!

    This is a good excuse to post some filthy German.

    1. Again with the Rammstein! 😉

      1. Here, I listened to this today. I really wish I had seen them when they were in town.

        1. Let me make you feel better.

          It was the best concert I’ve ever been too besides Ozzfest.

          1. “She was the hottest chick I’ve ever fucked, besides Rosie O’Donnell!”

            1. Don’t knock Rosie until you’ve tried her. She does the craziest thing with her tail…

  5. Nope, women never lie about rape: episode 3864873.

    But she subsequently refused to repeat the story to prosecutors because she feared she would have to return a $1.5 million payment from a civil suit brought by her mother against Long Beach schools.

    1. Damn you RBS!

      1. Hahaha, I’ve been waiting on the PM links for a couple of hours.

    2. You SFed the link.

      1. It’s just as well, RBS has an article from ESPN. Mine was from Fox News.

        1. It’s like a battle of the most retarded comment sections.

          1. ESPN by a mile. The ESPN boars are straight retard, no conscious though involved.

  6. There are times when reading Slate’s Dear Prudence advice column can be fun. Today’s topic from a woman: Help! My boss caught me masturbating at work and now he won’t stop flirting with me!

    1. As seen in AM Links.

      1. Well some of us West Coast Reasonoids don’t wake up that early.

        1. Yeah, fuck the “Eastern Standard Time” Links.

          1. It’s Eastern Daylight Time. You’re a temporal mess since Hawaii.

  7. Leave poor Kristen alone.

    I know everyone likes to give poor cutie Kristen Stewart a hard time but seriously, fuck this guy in the eye:

    “How will parents who took their daughters to see the ‘Twilight’ movies explain this? It is irresponsible of Stewart and manipulative of Hollywood bosses.”

    1. Maybe they could tell their daughters that giving a hand job is a good way to keep your boyfriend happy and not get pregnant?

      1. I was thinking maybe they could not bring their kids to a movie with Kristen Stewart having a threesome.

        1. There is that too. Or maybe explain to them that she is an actor and the parts she plays are FICTIONAL? But I guess we are expecting too much.

          1. John, remember the Jewel in the Crown, that miniseries that aired on PBS in the 80’s about the British Raj?

            The actor who played the sadistic fuck Merrick, who is a nice guy IRL, had a real tough time of it – after the series was shown, people would berate him in public, and one time an old lady started whaling on him with her umbrella.

            1. For a Masshole, you sure don’t know how to spell “wailing”. You probably misspell “wicked awesome” too.

              1. He meant that the lady was literally stabbing him with her umbrella from a boat.

            2. I remember that. The guy who played the villain in Ghost had the same sorts of problems. People are naturally stupid I guess.

              1. I think about things like this whenever some scholar talks about how earlier eras had a different conception of historical truth than today, etc.

      2. I wonder how the scene works? Is she actually jerking these two dudes off or is it left to the imagination?

    2. Doesn’t she get pregnant in one of the Twilight movies? Do their daughters not ask how that happens?

      1. Immaculate conception!

        1. Upper middle class white girls don’t do that kind of thing. But when they do, they go to a clinic and get it taken care of before it affects their college aps.

        2. Immaculation?

    3. Yeah, I just read ‘ decency groups’ and nearly puked on my laptop.

    4. “This movie is perverted and disgusting and the explicit sex scenes are an affront to all decent people,” explained the movie’s chief publicist.

  8. So a guy goes to the hospital seeking treatment for kidney stones and discovers he’s actually a woman.

    1. Awesome, thanks for that. Ass…

      1. Awesome, thanks for that. Ass…

        Don’t kill the messenger. If you’re peeing gravel, you should still see your doctor; chances are somewhat slim they’ll discover a vestigial vaj.

        1. I’ve gone through several and come out without any fem parts so I’ll assume I’m all set.

          1. I’ve gone through several–

            I can’t even imagine . . .

            1. Well I only had to go through the stone smasher once, so there’s that. All the other ones just made their way out naturally.

              1. Well I only had to go through the stone smasher once–

                Ultrasound, you mean? And if that exists, then why can’t they all be treated with it, do you know?

                1. Generally they are small enough to pass normally without causing any damage. The pain comes from the backup of peristaltic pressure as the stone is pushed down the ureter. It generally doesn’t last longer than a couple hours and good pain meds will take care of it.

                  My trip to the smasher because I had one that couldn’t pass (23 mm aka almost an inch). The stone would sit at the top of the ureter with the kidney trying to force it out causing months of agony. Because of the size and looseness of the composition they figured breaking it down would be the easiest way. And yes, it is an ultrasound treatment which is roughly equivalent to having someone punch you in the kidney rapidly for about 15 minutes.

    2. He fathered six kids, that makes him a male.

      1. He fathered six kids, that makes him a male.

        Yeah, but did you see that rack??

    3. So a guy goes to the hospital seeking treatment for kidney stones and discovers he’s actually a woman.

      By that you mean hideously ugly woman. Right?

  9. Romney charges that the incumbent is “attacking capitalism” and doesn’t understand basic economic concepts ? productivity, in particular.

    Well whatever one thinks about Romney, he does apparently know how to state the obvious.

    1. That would be a good start for anyone aspiring to be an actual leader, and not just a mealy-mouthed elected representative.

  10. http://www.theatlantic.com/inf…..go/100304/

    Way cool photos of the old west.

    1. Makes me want to reread Roughing It.

      1. amazing how big and empty it all was.

        1. Every time I go out West, I think I should move there. I imagine it was always that way.

          1. I miss it. I should have never married a women from the East. I need to get her out there. She just doesn’t understand it.

          2. Maybe you could move all the way west into the Pacific. That would be great.

            1. “If you hear a big splash, you’ve gone too far.”

            2. Bora Bora or somewhere underwater?

          3. I imagine that feeling is the “lemming” factor–for people who grew up back east, even in relatively less-densely populated counties where there aren’t a lot of people, coming out west can almost feel like escaping a cage. Back then, you’d travel for days or even weeks and not see a soul; even with cars today, it’s possible to drive for hours at a time between cities, with a whole lot of open space in between.

        2. I remember walking all day, taking pot-shots with my pistol at jackrabbits and rattlesnakes, in the deserts of southern arizona. You could walk for days and never see a single sign of another person. Several times I inadvertantly wandered over the invisible border into mexico. Oops…wander back.
          I wouldnt go there now if you paid me. I have seen photos of those areas now and they are littered with garbage and covered in footprints.

        3. Was? There’s a lot of the West where it’s still pretty damn empty. Take King County, Texas – 913 square miles, 286 people.

      2. I’m listening to Life on the Mississippi for my commute. Maybe I should go on Twainquest and read/listen to Roughing It and Innocents Abroad. Again, of course.

        1. Does the reader do a Twain impersonation? Because otherwise, it would be worthless, I think.

          1. Yes, and I think he does a decent job. I mean, not as good as Dr. Zaius, but good.

    2. I am looking at all the various Amerindian faces there and I do see now how Elizabeth Warren can claim to be descended from them. I mean, the resemblance is uncanny.

      1. Well, they do all have high cheekbones.

    3. Great photos. When we went West in 97′, we shouldn’t have stopped in Dallas; if I could ever convince my wife, I’d keep going.

    4. Way cool photos of the old west.

      These are spectacular. Thanks for posting them.

    5. Number 20 is pretty cool–how often do you see random script carved so elegantly?

    6. Some of those pictures weren’t taken too far from where I grew up. Western Oregon is great and all, but if I ever win the lottery I’m building my compound in Nevada. And not just because there isn’t any income tax.

  11. In the latest round of an almost-substantial exchange between Mitt and Barry, Romney charges that the incumbent is “attacking capitalism” and doesn’t understand basic economic concepts[.]

    The president is not alone in this economics ignorance problem.This morning I was watching a debate between a Team Blue operative and a Team Red operative in America’s Newsroom with Martha McCallum, and the Team Blue operative said that taxing the rich helps the economy because the rich would not spend the money anyway, merely save it ina savings account or something.

    I turned around and saw my wife’s jaw dropping. I said to her: Yeah, the idiot thinks that what drives the economy is spending and not savings. You heard him right.

    1. And to think just ten short years ago that same person was probably mocking Bush for telling Americans to go shopping.

  12. With Facebook’s messy IPO sparking both chatter and legal inquires, the company may be considering a switch from the NASDAQ Stock Market to the New York Stock Exchange.

    Yeah, that will solve your market valuation problems.

    Man, how I love gold. And tangible assets.

    1. NYSE, NYSE, baby

  13. Want to rein-in the stupid decisions? Try thinking things through in another language!

    Worked for me!

    De otro modo nomas decido hacer puras pendejadas.

    1. OM! Long time no.

      Hope all is well with you.

  14. Romney charges that the incumbent is “attacking capitalism” and doesn’t understand basic economic concepts ? productivity, in particular.

    In other news, sky is still blue, grass still green.

    1. Dogs still fuck’em bitches… all is normal.

  15. “In a piece that must be read to be believed, the radical publication Adbusters, which first suggested the tactic of occupying Wall Street, has now officially endorsed the Black Bloc anarchists as the next phase of the now-flaccid Occupy movement.”

    http://bit.ly/JvC8uy

    Here we see the Black Bloc liberating San Francisco shops and cars from their oppressive windows:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..e=youtu.be

    1. Ever notice that the only places these Jacobin retards ever try anything violent is in emasculated, left-wing urban havens?

      1. Because they know if they tried that shit in say, Wilmore, KY, they’d be fucking shot.

  16. Yahoo News: TSA, Under Fire, Wants to Upgrade Its Service

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/…..00114.html

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