A.M. Links: DOJ Sues Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, Joe Biden Apologizes to the President, Bachmann Withdraws Swiss Citizenship

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  • this guy right here

    The Department of Justice filed a civil lawsuit against the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office for its detention and profiling practices. "They're using me for the Latino vote, showing that they're doing something, taking on the sheriff over an alleged racial profiling," Sheriff Joe Arpaio said.

  • The GSA refuses to release hundreds of thousands of documents requested through FOIA, because of the ongoing investigations.
  • As he begins to hit on gay rights on the campaign trial, President Obama raised $15 million for his campaign in a Hollywood fundraiser headlined by George Clooney.
  • Joe Biden apologized to President Obama for saying publicly he was "totally comfortable" with same-sex marriage, pushing Obama's timetable for the announcement up.  "Would I have preferred to have done this in my own way, in my own terms, without I think, there being a lot of notice to everybody? Sure," the president said. "But all's well that ends well."
  • Michele Bachmann withdrew her Swiss citizenship. "I took this action because I want to make it perfectly clear: I was born in America and I am a proud American citizen," she said.
  • Hope you only penciled in that December 21st  date for the end of the world. A newly discovered Mayan calendar, the oldest, runs into the future indefinitely.

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  1. As he begins to hit on gay…s on the campaign trial, President Obama…

    See what I did there?

    1. “But all’s well that ends well.”

      Snort.

      1. See what I did there?

        “But all’s well that ends well.” Snort.

        Your backdoor shenanigans haven’t gone unnoticed.

    2. Whatever you did, it was probably racist.

      1. And heteronormalist. And all-round microaggressive

        1. AND he engaged in otherization… but not fuckbucketry.

          1. And there was clearly no skullduggery – nor skull fucking – going on.

            1. Sheep fucking?

              1. Just don’t mention You-Know-Who.

                1. I sure could use an attorney right now.

                  1. Specializing in airline litigation?

                2. Voldemort?

    1. See what happens when you contain deficit spending? Spool up the presses!

      /sarc

      1. Mo’ money, mo’ money, MO’ MONEY!

  2. Happy Times Part 2:

    Dismal China, India data signal slowing growth

    The anemic indicators suggest Asia’s ability to counter slowing growth in Europe may be limited. It also shows that the brief burst of vitality partly fueled by European stimulus late last year is likely wearing off.

    Obviously the answer is more stimulus.

    1. The answer to everything is always more stimulus. A Nobel Laureate said so.

      1. If only those bloodthirsty aliens would invade, this recession would be over.

        1. I’m praying for the Sweet Meteor or Retribution.

          1. Can’t we have both?

          2. I read this as “Sweet Meteor of Retribution”, which would be a great name for a rock band. Glam, of course.

            1. That is the correct spelling and yes I agree with you

              1. You are aware the “meteor” is really a “meator” and a giant fenestrated meatball.

                1. Why would you bother fenestrating a giant meatball? Just take it up the elevatoe.

  3. My god, the fellating of Obama this week by the legacy media and his other toadies has been absurd. Some teacher here in Seattle got to introduce the god-king and acted like she won the showcase showdown. Both of them.

    1. Do you still need to hit your bid w/in $100 to win both?

      1. I think so. But I haven’t watched in a while.

    2. You really have got to love how the scummy vermin who refused to vet Obama during the last election and still adamantly refuse to provide serious coverage of his job “performance” is already hard at work vetting Romney back to the pranks he pulled in freaking high school.

      1. It’s beyond absurd. I have no problem with the digging, though I question any relevance going back to childhood, but if the media serves any legitimate purpose in politics at all, it’s got to dig equally into Obama’s background. Which it simply refused and refuses to do. Of course, in his case, the voters know him well enough already.

        1. I dunno – in 2008 I learned Obama was a lazy and indifferent student, with a deep narcissistic streak and sense of entitlement that made him think he could be lazy and indifferent and still be lord of all he surveys.

          1. and with the help of a pliant press awed by the presence of black Jesus, he was proven right. And my hasn’t that worked out well.

            1. But he sure looks presidential – doesn’t he?

              1. Actually, no. He looks more like an alderman. Little thin even for that.

              2. He has a well creased pants leg. If that’s not enough to qualitfy someone for the presidency, then what is?

            2. It was the unicorn painting that sealed the deal. Let us also not forget his clean and articulate diction, until he slips into his oh-so-authentic ethnic patois for the peepz.

              1. I love how some talking heads have been declared racist just for pointing out the incredibly obvious fact that he acts like that. It’s like killface at that black church.

              2. Helper reminder of the Obama Unicorn Series

                NSFW

                1. NSFW

                  You ain’t kidding, Demonica Archiva! Blech.

          2. BTW, I’m pretty sure the media back in ’08 intended their “young Obama” stories to be uplifting & positive, I was just giving a summatio of what I took away from the coverage, which was “this guy is a complete tool”.

            1. I was very surprised he got nominated, as he seemed too fluffy, far too associated with the radical left, and, most of all, lacking any experience from which to judge his qualifications for office. Then again, the same was true of Clinton, and we knew too danged much about McCain.

              In that election and in this one, the surprising point is that some of the most electable and qualified people didn’t run. Not that I particularly like most of those options, but it’s a little odd.

      2. At some point this crap just *has* to backfire. Right? RIGHT?

        1. Actually, I think it has been backfiring for some time. The media will create a brief illusion that he’s done something, then people realize that nothing’s changed. Also, the economy.

          1. For lack of a better term: The Former reason Intern and Noted High School Graduate James Taranto Principle.

          2. Going back into Romneybot’s past is a good thing. Hell, I hope they find out he was involved in some seriously nefarious activities about 2 weeks before the convention. I hope it causes him to gracefully remove himself from contention for the GOP nod and paves the way for a Ron Paul nomination.

            And if that happens, Ron Paul destroys Obama in the general. He is better and more consistent than Obama on social issues, even to many progressives, and is certainly a lot better with the anti-war crowd. As far as Team Red goes, they have always said, “anyone but Obama.” I trust that they will stick with that meme.

            No, the press is doing a wonderful job vetting Romney. My only complaint is that they’re not doing enough.

            1. I don’t object much to them digging, but I doubt he has any good dirt. It would’ve come out by now.

              1. I don’t object much to them digging, but I doubt he has any good dirt. It would’ve come out by now.

                Pinning someone down and shaving their head doesn’t count? That’s like kneecapping deserving territory. If I was that kid I could have cut his balls off and not lost any sleep over it.

                1. I didn’t say it was meaningless, but it’s likely some nasty crap can be found for most politicians if you dig enough. That’s true even of human beings, in most instances.

            2. I agree that every major politician and serious candidate for office ought to face a high threshold of scrutiny. All I ask is that our gatekeepers try to be evenhanded about it, and with a couple of rare exceptions like this journal, they aren’t even close.

              1. Exactly. They should be held to a higher standard, regardless of party affiliation, not a lower one. They should be like Caesar’s wife, above suspicion.

            3. It’s very difficult for a Mormon robot to break it’s core programming and get involved in seriously nefarious activities. Then again, maybe he has several dozen surplus wives and several hundred surplus children. Cool by some Mormon standards, not cool by hardcore Neo-Con standards. It all depends on who programmed that boring-as-fuck well-groomed bucket of bolts.

              1. I fail to see how multiple wives can hurt him, so long as they all love one another. Right? Isn’t that the whole point of the president liberating the gays with his Confabulation Proclamation?

                1. Eh, the mind-numbed team red folks I’m exposed to abhore the prospect of multiple wives (at least the women do). If you replace the word “wives” with whores, and asked the men about it over a couple of pitchers of Fat Tire, they’d admit : “Romney, rich fuckin’, lucky pimp bastard. Wish I was mormon so I get me some whores.” But yeah…the WASPY women…not so much.

                  1. Sorry, but that’s the new standard. If it works for gays, it works for everyone else.

                  2. honestly, I wouldn’t mind having a second wife. I need one to polish the steel hockey mask and the other to clean the leather harness.

              2. Just wait till WaPo breaks the story of how Romney’s “mission” in France was running a heroin smuggling ring for the CIA.

            4. Never underestimate the TEAM dynamic. Progressives will never bring themselves to vote for Ron Paul over Obama. There could be video of Obama personally waterboarding terrorist suspects, dropping a nuke on Iran, and then anally raping war protestors in a rape dungeon under the white house before turning to the camera and flipping them the bird saying “What are you gonna do about, huh? Go cry to your momma?” and they’d still vote for him over Ron Paul or anyone else with an R after their name.

        2. The thing about the bullying is the actual “victim” is dead now and can’t tell his side of the story and the guy’s family is pissed because this is being used as a political tool.

          1. That’s because Romney had him executed.

            1. I heard he hanged the guy and then taunted him as he peed his pants

              1. I have it on good authority that a pillowcase, a tube of glue, and a forgotten safety word is the culprit here.

                1. Romney went to school with David Carradine?

              2. And then shit on the corpse before disposing of the body in a shallow unmarked grave.

          2. And that the guy never mentioned the story to anyone. And that none of the teachers of administrators at the school knew of it. And that the guy who was haunted for years be his memory of participating in it, actually admitted that the first he heard of the story was from a WaPO propagandist a year ago.

      3. http://www.latimes.com/news/po…..0988.story

        Like making this cartoon without any sense of irony?

        1. I’m pretty sure that if Bok drew that cartoon, it would be racist.

          1. I’m pretty sure just thinking something might be racist is racist. Racist!

          2. I’m pretty sure if Bok drew this cartoon, it would have more labels (and bigger ears).

        2. I’m just wondering why the fuck these MSM people don’t talk about unilateral declarations of war, but this shit is so much more important?

    3. He’s really good at doing nothing.

      1. I wish this were true, in reality he’s good at being a populist.

    4. The showcase showdown is the wheel-spinning after the third and sixth pricing games. The finale is the showcase.

      And I think you have to be within $250 now to win both. Without going over of course.

      1. Dammit, there were supposed to be [pedantic bastard] tags around the text above. 😐

        1. Did you use these: < > Ted? They’re read as HTML – you have to use the HTML letter codes

  4. Bachmann, a U.S. representative from Minnesota and a favorite of the conservative Tea Party movement, became eligible for dual U.S.-Swiss citizenship in 1978 when she married her husband, who is Swiss.

    She activated that right because three of their five children wanted to do so and they went through the process as a family, a spokeswoman said.

    “Swiss citizenship, ACTIVATE! Form of… a traitor!”

    1. So she has the secret power of finding the Nazi gold?

    2. Wait, her husband is an actual Swissman?
      I’m surprised that the left was mocking him for being effeminate then… I thought that was one of the invidious stereotypes about Europe.

      1. Wait, her husband is an actual Swissman?

        I think the correct term is “Cheezer.”

        1. I thought that was the French…

          1. No, they’re the Surrenderers.

            Cheezers? I thought it was Knife and Watch Sellers. Learn something every day…

      2. Not the Swiss. They’re all gun-owning goldbugs.

        1. I love Switzerland, it is a more capitalist country than us it seems….

    3. I wouldn’t mind having Swiss citizenship. Would be nice to have a safe haven to retreat to when the crap hits the fan.

      1. She’s a fucking idiot. Swiss citizenship is almost impossible to get. Their taxes, last time I checked, were far lower than in the U.S. (that might have changed since, IIRC, they instituted a weird form of Romneycare in the 90’s)

        1. A lot depends on which canton you live in.

          And yeah, its hard to get. Working there is easy though and I had no trouble getting a residence visa (you dont [circa early 90s] need a visa to work in Switzerland, just to live there, so you can commute across the border willy-nilly).

        2. No kidding. Anyone with an easy path to dual citizenship is a damn fool not to take it.

          Its cheap insurance. She’s obviously nursing some kind of fantasy that she has a political future, and doesn’t have the balls to tell her enemies to piss off, its a private family thing.

        3. She’s a fucking idiot.

          You could have stopped there. 😉

          1. “Fry,remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?” 🙂

    4. Shape of…Satan!

      1. Needs more crazy-eye.

    1. I haven’t been able to find out anything from these articles, but were the Roma involved charged with anything?

      1. My guess is no, probably not yet – if ever.

        If you’re talking about the people who ran the market stalls the kids worked on, it could be hard to establish they knew the kids were forced into it.

        If you’re talking about the fortune teller, did he/she get any benefit from this advice? In fact, what did he/she advise? Much easier to go after the primary caregiver for child cruelty (which has a lovely Dickensian feel about it) than the Roma who have to be proved to have known what was going on. In fact, even then I’m not sure if it’s unlawful to use the labour of an enslaved child in the UK

    2. Oh great. Those kids are gonna be winners.

      1. What?

        1. Butss – in case you haven’t seen it.

  5. I’m not sure who Aliona Vilani is, but that bikini would look great on the floor next to my bed.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..poses.html

    1. Careful, sarc, you’re trending dangerously close to John territory there.

      1. Not really. John considers anything with less than a D cup to be male.

    2. The Denise Richards pictorial is impressive.

    3. Yes, she looks good. Whoever she is.

    4. Needs moar chest.

    5. I like this one with some cute family pics: Willow Wyndham-Pryce

      1. *barf*

        1. Dammit, no one barfs on Willow.

          1. Probably true story: I had an employee some years back who claimed to have slept with Marsha Brady. The story had a number of plausible elements, and he lived that kind of lifestyle, so I believed him. Anyway, part of the story was that he vomited during the episode, partially hitting her.

            1. Was this “employee’s” last name Libertate by chance?

              1. No, not me. I’d say true story if it were me.

      2. That’s just Ilyria taking her form.

      3. Those are some thick calves.

      4. Holy shit, she married Wesley? Did not know that. I’d have held out for Charisma, though.

  6. Argentina’s state-owned firms
    So far, not so good

    Under public control, the financial results of these firms range from mediocre to dismal. In the past year the government has spent nearly $3 billion to prop them up, and the official budget suggests that figure will double in 2012. AySA, the water company, and Aerolineas Argentinas, the airline, have been particularly needy: they cost the state $972m and $840m last year. Though the firms lost money in private hands as well, their former owners say they struggled only because regulators subjected them to strict price controls.

    1. In Heritage’s last economic freedom index, Argentina ranked below Belarus.

    2. Natural gas has been discovered off the Falkland Islands. The Brits retired their Harriers and are several years from completing new aircraft carriers. If the Argies get desperate, they might try Malvinization again.

    3. America, take a look at your future…

  7. Concern troll is concerned, yells at kids to get on his lawn.

    1. It’s pretty impressive that not owning a TV or cell phone and not accessing the internet 2 days a week can cause this guy’s life to be so incredibly fulfilling. Just think how fulfilled the poor people of the world must be.

  8. 12/21/12 is not Doomsday? (Sigh) what’s the next scary date?

    02/20/2020 ?
    01/23/24.

    1. 12/12/2112

    2. According to the article, it’s the infinite progression of time.
      Just think about it!

    3. 12/12/12 is a special day though, it’s the final release day for Stone’s Vertical Epic series.

      1. Not expecting a 13/13/13?

        1. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOObody expects the 13/13/13!

    4. Well, by my calculations, somewhere around 10^100 A.D.

    5. what’s the next scary date?

      I’m going with 01/20/2013.

    6. 1/19/2038

  9. Totally cool – crashed WWII plane found preserved in desert.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..esert.html

    1. crashed WWII plane found preserved in desert

      I spent a few seconds trying to figure out how this was supposed to be a double entendre.

    2. Isn’t this how Close Encounters begins?

    3. that’s awesome… dig the (still intact) vacuum tube gear.

      1. What’s that you say? Intact vacuum tubes?

        1. 5th? picture – I see two (obviously GT style) tubes with anode/plate caps.

          A few years ago, I had a Norwegian audiophile / DIY audio friend who told me about intact vacuum tubes being taken from the Tirpitz during the later salvage. Provided the bulbs are intact and the bottom seal on the pins stay intact, the getter of a vacuum tube will keep out the oxygen for a long time. For example, I’m running 1960s era Mullards in my amplifier. I’ve also built a preamp using tubes from the late 1920s/early 30s.

          Whew! – done with obsessive talk.

    4. Odd that the parachute would survive on the ground for 70 years in a windy desert.

    5. That’s awesome. Reminds me of a crashed B28 they found in the artic or Russia or somewhere. Amazingly preserved = they restored it, GOT IT RUNNING, were going to fly it out…and someone knocked over a gas can in the tail and it burned as they were taxiing to take off.

      Was on TEEVEE – don’t remember what channel, but it was HEARTBREAKING after all that work.

      Also, I recall someone digging a P-38 Lightning out of a glacier or at least a very deep patch of ice. It was, like, 30, 40 feet buried – they pulled the sumbitch right out. Amazing.

      1. Didn’t they have to kill the infected after that? Something about dogs and a wire to test the blood…

      2. I saw that. I think it was on NOVA.

    6. I guess the plane was practically freeze-dried with the temperature changes of the desert?

    1. That word means something different over here.

      1. er, what do you call the cloth on a kid’s arse to catch its effluent? Diaper?

        1. Yep yep yep!

        2. He calls it his lunch sack.

      2. I used to have a slim volume: a Aussie/NZ to English dictionary. Useful? No, but fun to read.

        1. So much of it is dying out, along with the fabulously incomprehensible Strine accent, sadly. Many years ago the English novelist Monica Dickens (yep, Chazza’s great-granddaughter) was out here doing a book signing. A woman shoved the book in front of her and said “Emmachizzit”. So she started writing “Dear Emma…”, to be stopped by the woman saying again “Nah, emmachizzit”.

          1. LOL. I always feel bad when my Ozzy brother-in-law visits, because he’s asked to repeat himself over and over. Speaking of fabulously incomprehensible Strine accents. I always wonder if other Anglo countries have similar difficulties with a true Deep South American accent.

            1. Not really. We’re so exposed to various US accents via popular culture that they’re not hard to understand, or even emulate. There are plenty of UK and Australian actors doing US accents, but I am buggered if I’ve ever heard anyone do an Australian accent properly except for Meryl Streep. And she’s a freak and her character was a transplanted Kiwi, so not really Aussie.

              1. my “Aussie” accent slowly turns “Indian” (as in the continent).

              2. I heard a commentary for the Simpsons “Booting” episode. They said most of the complaints they received were from Aussies who thought the “Australian” accents on the show sounded South African.

            2. a true Deep South American accent.

              What, Portuguese or Spanish?

            3. I watched My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding this week, and I’ll be buggered if I couldn’t understand half of what they were saying (they were from rural Georgia). Same with the British version of the show.

              1. Yeah, I have difficulties with at least some southern rural accents also. I used to work with a girl from the mountains of North Carolina, and there was about a 3- or 4-second processing time for me whenever she said anything to me. Pleasant to listen to, but hard to decipher!

                1. in South Carolina, I noticed the richer folks – who could have been yankee out-of-towners – had less southerny accents. But listening to the more “working class” yobs or general locals, the accent was definitely more pronounced.

                  My wife, who has a wonderful, clear voice compared to my mumbling, was asked several times by the locals to repeat herself.

            4. I always wonder if other Anglo countries have similar difficulties with a true Deep South American accent.

              Or a New England accent. New England accents sound like nails on a chalkboard to me.

    2. Awesome. She certainly has that crazed, fanatical look about her.

    3. Stevie Wonder was the Underwear Bomber II?

      1. Is that from the line in “I Wish”?

    4. The couple, who asked to remain anonymous, said Riyanna is a JetBlue frequent flier. … “We were completely shocked at how absurd it is that an 18-month-old would be on a no-fly list,” her mother told The Post.

      Perhaps the TSA was completely shocked that an 18-month-old would be a JetBlue frequent flier.

    5. So they finally caught the dreaded diaper bomber. Justice has been served. /sarc

  10. Small Businesses Rate Idaho and Texas Friendliest States, California and New York Among Least Friendly, According to Thumbtack.com Survey

    “Although Texas and Idaho clearly come out on top as the nation’s friendliest states toward small business, entrepreneurs value a lot more than just tax-related regulations. Easy-to-understand licensing regulations and well-publicized training programs are critical tools necessary to support small business.”

    1. Or, you know, fewer licensing requirements.

    2. New Hampshire is an oasis of friendliness amid a sea of disdain.

      1. I don’t know why, but this always surprises me when I hear it.

        I guess I’m “State-ist” – assume ALL Eastern states are fucktardville, like NY, Mass…

        1. Certainly at least the original 13 colonies. I weep for Maryland, My Maryland.

          1. The Maryland State Motto: “If you can dream it, we can tax it.”

            1. I thought it was “All in the game, yo, all in the game”. Or is that just the Baltimore city motto?

              1. Baltimore City’s actual mottoes are “The Greatest City in America;” “Get in on it;” and “The city that reads.” So you are not far off. It is also nicknamed “Charm City,” for which Ace of Cakes “Charm City Cakes” is named. Have you ever been to Bmore? There are some pretty charming areas of Baltimore, but by and large it is a seething morass of filth and despair. I hate going there and avoid it if at all possible.

                1. Also, the inner harbor smells like some combination of rotting corpses and rotting fish. Baltimore: Number 1 in Chlamydia Cases!.

                2. I thought Baltimore’s motto was

                  Need more mottos

              2. I hate Baltimore with the fire of 1000 suns because I get lost every time I go there and it’s dirty everywhere.

          2. The People’s Republic of Maryland. Without all those inflated gobberment-related jobs, that swamp would be more barren and … more enjoyable. Fuck that place. Same goes for Northern Vagina. Hell-holes the both of ’em.

            1. But… but… we have legal gay marriage in MD!!

              1. Yep. And thanks to the tax policies of this latest governorship, a significant chuck of the millionaires said “Fuck You” and high-tailed it greener pastures. As god intended. Hilarious.

        2. NH State Motto: Live Free or Die

          1. It’s as ironic as Maryland’s “The Free State” nickname.

            1. Makes sense. The state is free to do whatever the fuck it wants.

      2. NH may make it easy to set up shop, but once you do, the BPT and BET will getcha.

        NH is tax friendly to individuals…to businesses, not so much.

      3. Tallest midget.

        Note NH’s ranking in this survey. Compare it with the other New England states and other states in the country.

  11. President Obama raised $15 million for his campaign in a Hollywood fundraiser

    IOW, Dear Leader sold his endorsement of gay marriage for $15 million.

    1. That’s our problem, we just don’t have a going rate for our principles

      1. I have a fairly detailed price sheet for mine. But nobody seems willing to cough up what I’m asking. I obviously haven’t found the market clearing price.

        1. It’s all a matter of supply and demand; you have a lot more supply than demand.

  12. The sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, lashed out Thursday at Justice Department officials, calling their civil lawsuit alleging civil rights violations against him and his county politically motivated.

    “They’re using me for the Latino vote, showing that they’re doing something, taking on the sheriff over an alleged racial profiling,” Joe Arpaio told reporters in Phoenix.

    It’s a good thing Obama doesn’t need the black vote. He might send the DoJ after the NYPD for all those blatantly profiling stop-and-frisks.

  13. Damn You! Must you claim all the sexy links to the Daily Mail??

    1. yep, leaving us with this

      ‘I finally got a bunch of guys to like me and they’re all dead!’: Pole-dancer reveals her studio is haunted (but says the ghosts are her ‘special friends’)

      Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z1uZ9d1glH

      1. Directed by: Tim Burton
        Starring: Helena Boneham Carter

        1. +1.

    2. Reply to comment fail. This was in reply to sarcasmic’s WWII plane post. Stupid Friday morning tired no coffee and my basbeall team sucks.

      1. From the archives…

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ikini.html

  14. Courtney Love has an exhibition, instead of being one. Turns out she’s as good at drawing as she is at parenting

    http://www.fredtorres.com/exhi…..tney-love/

    1. She also developed a self-insert manga Princess Ai. Haven’t read it, but Courtney seems to multitask quite a lot.

      1. Do you need to read it? That book description has everything but the kitchen sink.

        1. Actually, it does have that too. It’s dressed up in some weird Courtney-speak. It’s like finding Waldo.

  15. USFL relaunching, Biletnikoff involved

    ”We will play in markets where there are no NFL teams or major league baseball teams. It’s a league for guys who are on the bubble for making NFL teams, and we will have complete open access for the NFL. We want to build a model that is sustainable.”

    The USFL is looking at a 14-game season from March until June in eight cities. Its players would then be free to join NFL clubs at their training camps.

    All player and coach contracts will be owned by the league, with salaries not approaching anything the NFL offers.

    1. This sounds nice, but 1) the UFL already exists for this sort of thing, and it doesn’t have a very good fan support base, and 2) if you’re looking to be a farm system for the NFL, 14 games is way too much. 10 games would be a lot better if these guys are going to go right to NFL camps afterwards. Still, I think it would be better to run it concurrently.

      Something like this might work if the NFL allows expanded rosters after week 12 or 13 of the season, something like what MLB does when it calls up its prospects at the end of the season for a professional look-see. The league would also have to be willing to cut this entity a share of the the TV money. There’s no market for minor league ball on TV for baseball, why would there be for minor-league football?

    2. The NFL farm league is the AFL, wholly owned by the NFL.

    1. Occifer, am I free to cycle?

    2. Bears ride unicycles without clothes on all the time without getting hassled.

    3. I saw a guy riding his bike (a 10-speed) and playing guitar over the weekend. It was a lovely day, so why not?

      1. Distracted driving! Give the man a ticket!

    4. Hipster trash!

      1. I have to thank you for mentioning DieHipster.com the other day. The latest pictures of the portable-record-playing hipster, and the tightrope-walking-in-the-park hipster were pure gold.

        1. I know – that record-playing fucker really took the cake. I think when I finally get around to having dinner at Peter Luger, I will have to budget some time to do some hipster-spotting in the neighborhood.

          1. I have to admit, it has been pure magic at the lab with that site handy. It has been oodles of timeless laffs.

        2. I think I might have to make DieHipster.com my new homepage. God those twats are annoying.

      2. And thanks from me too.

        So, I hosed them down with lighter fluid and rubbed their twig limbs together which caused a spark which ignited those two pieces of fucking shit into flames who burned happily ever after.

        Aaaah.

  16. “The Department of Justice filed a civil lawsuit against the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office for its detention and profiling practices.”

    Let me be clear. Get ready for spick week.

    1. let me be more clear: it’s spic. No k.

  17. Read in this morning’s AJC:

    “The South: where you can marry you cousin, just not your gay cousin.”

    1. The South is bigger than you think:

      http://bit.ly/KnswUi

      1. That you cannot marry your gay cousin in the south does not imply that you can marry your gay cousin in places that are not the south.

  18. In Canada, Alternate Currency Keeps Traction With Fans

    For more than half a century, thrifty Canadians have had an alternative to their legal tender. Canadian Tire Corp., an iconic retailer here that sells everything from car batteries to hockey sticks, hands out Canadian Tire money to loyal shoppers.

    Customers receive the brightly colored coupons, equivalent to a fraction of their shopping bill, at the checkout. They can redeem them next time through the door. Each bill features the face of fictional character Sandy McTire.

    Many small businesses across Canada accept the bills at face value, alongside Canadian dollars. Speculators buy and sell the paper.

    About one billion bills are in circulation across Canada, worth an estimated 100 million Canadian dollars, the company estimates.

  19. for no particular reason: The Gosdin Brothers
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_y4iZTCRrQ

    – late 60s Country

    1. I approve.

  20. The newly discovered Mayan calendar has cycles of time recording 17 baktuns, rather than the standard 13. This and other details, which Saturno describe in this week’s issue of the journal Science, should be all anyone needs to stop their urge to stock up on canned food and ammo.

    I have calculated the date on our calendar which corresponds to the end of the 17th baktun. Send me money and I will tell you when the world is really going to end.

    (As for the urge to stock up on canned food and ammo, that started on 1/20/09.)

  21. I’m really conflicted by the DOJ/Sheriff Shithead thing. Cause – of course – I hate them both for different reason.

    Nice he’s finally being taken to task, but I’m absolutely sure it’s just another Holder/Bamster political thing…

    Ah well – in this one case (+SLD), the ends make me overlook the means. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy – have fun getting ass fucked in prison, Sheriff Fuckhead. Or by the Devil Hisself if you don’t get what you deserve in this life…

    1. First off, it’s a civil suit. Even if the DoJ wins, which is not its goal, all that will happen is Maricopa County will be forced to make some changes to their policies.

      Second, Team Red needs to jump all over the NYPD profiling right now. If not to defend Arpaio, then to point out the hypocrisy in the administration. And it’s a winning strategy for Team Red. They’re winning Arizona and the “profile the beaners terking ur jerbs” crowd anyway. This will not sway a single one of them. On the other hand, if they can siphon off some voters from the “only redneck sheriffs profile niggers. One of ours wouldn’t dare” crowd, it could shape a bigger story they can capitalize on: Obama is willing to sell out his own race to keep the support of Bloomberg and the limo liberals in NYC.

      1. Team Red needs to jump all over the NYPD profiling right now.

        And the chances of that happening are < 1%. It’s shit like this that makes me angry there isn’t a second political party in this country. TEAM RED sure as fuck isn’t going to complain about police overreach in NYC, Obama’s lack of transparency, Obama’s terrible civil rights record, his betrayal of his MM pledge, etc. etc.

        This is why TEAM BLUE can get away with lying about civil rights issues, the Imperial US, and TEAM RED can get away with lying about being economically conservative – because the other TEAM sure as hell isn’t going to call them on it.

        1. What would TEAM RED say about it anyway? “New York PD is doing exactly what we want for the War on Some Drugs, but, it’s bad this time right now, because we hope it’ll make Obama look bad.”

          1. Well, they could go after Bloomberg hardcore on his refusal to allow people to enjoy their 2A Rights. They could show how gun ownership levels are in inverse proportion to violent crime rates. They could then ask why Bloomberg refuses to allow the black community to defend itself while profiling them and abusing their 4A Right.

            It wouldn’t be a bad sell, and would force Obama to either say that
            1: blacks can’t defend themselves and need the police.
            2: blacks are undeserving of 4A Rights. Or
            3: cities are free to set their own gun policies, which would set the SC off and open up a firestorm of 2A lawsuits.

            Either way, Team Red could kick his ass on it. If they actually gave a shit at all about 2A and 4A rights of inner-city blacks, which they apparently don’t.

            1. 4th amendment rights? What are you, a communist? The constitution is not a suicide pact!!

    2. I liked somebody’s suggestion yesterday that Arpaio and Holder fight to the death, with the prize being life in prison.

  22. The GSA refuses to release hundreds of thousands of documents requested through FOIA, because of the ongoing investigations.

    Serious question for the resident legal experts: Why is “ongoing investigation” a reason to withhold information?

    1. Well, its complicated.

      When the government is conducting an investigation and demanding documents, they respond to any challenge that the documents are irrelevant by invoking the “Fuck you, that’s why” doctrine.

      The courts have held that the FYTW doctrine applies across the board, both to documents requested by the government, and documents requested from the government.

      1. Thanks, R C. That *is* complicated.

        1. His explanation is simple enough, but I’m quite sure the statute language length rivals that of ObamneyCare.

          1. Statute? The government don’t need no stinkin’ statute for the FYTW doctrine.

            1. It’s good to be the king, huh?

            2. Must be some kind of corollary to Catch 22.

  23. Fighter aircraft that went missing in 1942 found in the Sahara Desert:

    http://worldnews.msnbc.msn.com…..-fate?lite

    Stories like this have always fascinated me. Reminds me a crashed WW2 fighter we found one day while stomping around the jungle on Guam.

    1. I was just watching a documentary on WWI, and they finished it by showing some scenes from today of left over equipment and barbed wire. It’s kind of weird.

      1. I was just watching a documentary on WWI, and they finished it by showing some scenes from today of left over equipment and barbed wire. It’s kind of weird.

        In places where fighting was fierce, the landscape is still littered with tanks, bunkers, gun emplacements, etc.

        The weirdest war relic I’ve encountered was on Guam. In the main harbor in about 90 feet of water, there’s a Japanese freighter, the Tokai Maru, which was sunk in 1944 and came to rest right next to a German ship, the Cormoran, which was sunk in 1917, during World War 1. You can reach out and touch both keels at the same time.

          1. “Such a waste.”

            Broken windows, man. Nothing stimulates the economy like broken windows.

            1. Broken windows, man. Nothing stimulates the economy like broken windows.

              Exactly. Think of the dive tourism in places like Truk Lagoon, Saipan, etc. That alone clearly justifies World War 2.

            2. When I was watching the documentary, I kept thinking about what a tremendous disaster that easily avoided war was. The obvious political consequences, the lost resources, and, above all, the huge loss of human life. Not just from that war, but from the rise of the Soviet Union, WWII, and plenty of other not-so-nice things, like a more fucked-up Middle East.

              1. Whenever a general says “It will only last six months”, seek out another opinion.

                1. Whenever a general says “It will only last six months”, shoot him because he’s clearly a dangerous idiot you’d never want to put in charge of anything more complicated than a rubber ball.

              2. World War 2 was one of the rare sequels that outperformed the original.

              3. When I was watching the documentary, I kept thinking about what a tremendous disaster that easily avoided war was.

                WW2 gets all the attention because there’s easily identifiable villians. But WW1 is more significant by far–it completely overturned the 19th century global configuration and basically set the foundation for everything that followed it in the 20th century. It’s my favorite conflict to read about, for precisely the reasons you mention.

                1. The more I dig into it, the worse the Germans come out, too. I used to think it was just one of those crazy European wars of old, bereft of any real meanies. But the Germans did some nasty stuff during the war, including making sure that the whole continent was involved. Not that the Triple Entente had clean hands.

                2. But WW1 is more significant by far

                  I’ve recently come around to this view. The post-WWII landscape wasn’t fundamentally changed, really, just the Soviets getting their mitts on more real estate.

                  The post-WWI landscape, though, was completely transformed.

                  1. I was watching the bit when the Germans bussed Lenin into Russia, while also funding the Bolsheviks, thinking, “Well, there’s a bad decision.” Given the social unrest throughout Europe, that was a dumb idea at the time. Of course, subsequent history made that an insanely bad call.

      2. argh, in the past I used to visit several “battlefield archaeology” sites, but by Google-fu isn’t working today. Or else the sites are long gone.

        1. argh, in the past I used to visit several “battlefield archaeology” sites

          I’ve always been the same way about shipwrecks. I’ve spent countless hours poring over various dive sites and whatnot. I watched two seasons of Deep Sea Detectives on Netflix last week.

          1. I love sunken ships… especially WW1 or 2 ones, since the heavily painted steel seems to hold up better than wood. But of course some of the wooden hulls – if in the right location – have been remarkably preserved.

            1. I love sunken ships… especially WW1 or 2 ones, since the heavily painted steel seems to hold up better than wood. But of course some of the wooden hulls – if in the right location – have been remarkably preserved.

              Have you ever seen some of the Great Lakes wrecks? Even some of the wooden ones from the War of 1812 are remarkably well preserved. Something about cold, deep, fresh water that inhibits decay. We’re talking masts still in place and skeletons still aboard.

              1. Same with the Mary Rose, which went down in salt water in 1545. Tests on oxygen isotopes in the teeth of the skeletons they brought up suggest a large proportion of the crew were from the Mediterranean, leading to speculation she sank in part because the crew couldn’t speak enough English to respond to commands quickly

                1. Tests on oxygen isotopes in the teeth of the skeletons . . .

                  Mind-boggling that we have to science to even speculate on that, isn’t it?

                  1. Oxygen isotopes? I call bullshit on this. Seriously, all they needed to do was look and see how crooked their teeth were. Dead straight=Mediterranean, pretty straight=French and Dutch and crooked as fuck=English.

              2. There is some neat stuff in the Black sea. The water doesn’t mix down deep there, so stuff can be preserved for a really long time.

      3. I am told in places like the Somme and Verdun, you can find old bullets by grubbing in the dirt for less than minute. They’re apparently everywhere.

        1. On that note, have any of you been to any of the old Maginot Line forts? If I ever get over to France, that’s on my ‘must see’ list.

          1. You can add Omaha Beach to that list of must see places in France. The cemetary is on the bluff overlooking the beach where all the GIs were taking mortar and machine gun fire. Solemn and inspring.

            Just east of that, go to Point-du-Hoc; enormous shell and bomb craters remain, bunkers and gun emplacements that you can walk through, very impressive.

            I didn’t get to Utah beach or the towns just behind it, but the entire Normandy coastline/area is very scenic and a lovely place to visit.

            Mont St. Michael is worth a visit too though it is very touristy.

            1. Just east of that, go to Point-du-Hoc; enormous shell and bomb craters remain, bunkers and gun emplacements that you can walk through, very impressive.

              When I lived in L.A. as a teen in the ’80s, there was an abandoned parcel of land behind the base houseing we lived in. Hundreds of acres right on the coast. It had been used during WW2 as a coastal defense battery when we were afraid of a Japanese attack on the US mainland. I have fond memories of playing around in the underground complex. The tunnels ran for a couple hundred yards in pitch blackness. Very, very eerie.

            2. I’m thinking my next visit to Europe will need to include the D-Day beaches, and maybe Waterloo.

              1. The H&R battlefield tour! With drinking, fist-fights, and philosophical ramblings.

                1. I’m in.

                  1. Put me down for this too.

                2. The H&R battlefield tour! With drinking, fist-fights, and philosophical ramblings.

                  Need a medic? And how historically medically accurate can I be?

                  1. why, do you travel with jars of leeches? Proclaim wounds to be OK based on the number of maggots in them? Taste urine?

                    1. do you travel with jars of leeches? Proclaim wounds to be OK based on the number of maggots in them? Taste urine?

                      Why do you go from antiquated medical practices to Doc’s personal tastes in the same thought?

                    2. why, do you travel with jars of leeches?

                      Fun medical fact: Leeches are used to drain wounds found at the site of limb reattachment and also to “bleed” certain medical conditions.

                      To answer your question, IFH, do any of your queries turn you on?

                    3. Not the way you’re hoping. But the history of medicine is fascinating.

                      Also, isn’t there still scope for using maggots to eat away infected tissue in these days of multi-drug resistant bugs?

                    4. Not the way you’re hoping. But the history of medicine is fascinating.

                      I was not intimating any hanky panky, IFH. I was implying a purely intellectual pursuit, and yes the history of surgery is super fascinating, particularly neurosurgery, anaesthesia discovery, and the refinement of surgical appliances.

                      Also, isn’t there still scope for using maggots to eat away infected tissue in these days of multi-drug resistant bugs?

                      Yes, maggots are used to debride necrotic tissue in people who have lost limbs as well as infected, putrid and purulent wounds.

                      The little critters have all sorts of uses in this regard, since they will only eat necrotic tissue and spare healthy, vibrant tissue.

                  2. Need a medic? And how historically medically accurate can I be?

                    Can you administer mass quantities of IM morphine? Can you hack off a leg with a bayonet, sans anesthesia? Welcome aboard!

                    1. Can you administer mass quantities of IM morphine? Can you hack off a leg with a bayonet, sans anesthesia? Welcome aboard!

                      Which reminds me, has anyone seen Ice Nine lately? I miss that old coot.

        2. The amount of ordinance used back then was truly staggering.

        3. I am told in places like the Somme and Verdun, you can find old bullets by grubbing in the dirt for less than minute. They’re apparently everywhere.

          I bet it’s the same in the jongles of Vietnam. I’ve read that during the war, for every VC we killed, we fired something like 60,000 rounds. Supposedly that’s one reason the M-16 is no longer capable of full-auto fire.

          1. I saw a doco on the Duke of Wellington, part of which covered his Indian campaigns. The village kids 200 years later were still finding musket balls, and a farmer had just ploughed up a small cannon

    2. Stories like this have always fascinated me.

      Me too. In fact, it just fascinated me when I read it upthread about 30 minutes ago.

      /ass

      1. Me too. In fact, it just fascinated me when I read it upthread about 30 minutes ago.

        Yikes! Well I just got the phone with the Reason people, and I’ve worked out a repayment plan for the wasted bandwidth, so . . . crisis averted.

    3. Beat you to it at 8:57AM… neener neener neeeeeeeeener!

      1. Beat you to it at 8:57AM… neener neener neeeeeeeeener!

        You did, and I salute you for it. Mine, however has a certain, shall we say, panache that yours lacked.

        😉

        1. Panache? Says the guy with photographic evidence of sporting a mullet. Tino. 😉

          1. Panache? Says the guy with photographic evidence of sporting a mullet. Tino. 😉

            I live my life on the cutting edge of fashion. When I say the mullet is coming back, the mullet is coming back. And when I say the mullet shall be accentuated with a strategically placed red bandana . . . well, that’s going to happen too. The invective from you uncultured miscreants can be withering at times, but that’s the price I pay. No one ever said the life of a fashionisto was an easy one, but a life spent doing the Lord’s work rarely is.

            1. fair enough – it is the hairstyle of the gods

              1. And superheroes. Captain Planet of Captain Planet and the Planeteers also sported an aqua mullet.

                How do these superheroes achieve military rank, anyway?

                1. How do these superheroes achieve military rank, anyway?

                  I think they bestow it upon themselves. And really, who’s going to stop them? Are you going to tell a superhero that his rank isn’t legit because he didn’t attend OCS? Are YOU going to get in Captain Planet’s face and mock him for anointing himself a mere company-grade officer? That a real superhero is going to be at least a colonel? No? I didn’t think so.

            2. I heard, in my head, this soliloquy in the voices of Blaine and Antoine from “In Living Colour”.

              1. Blaine and Antoine from “In Living Colour”.

                “The Venus de Milo? HATED IT!”

          2. hey, I’m working on my mullet. Long live my flowing locks!

            1. Wait, aren’t you that guy in prison trying to become president?

  24. McGill University Health Centre imports Israeli clowns as fertility aid

    http://www.timescolonist.com/h…..story.html

    1. I do hope they checked the patient H&P’s for DX’s of coulrophobia. It’s biological fact that being exposed to clowns whilst sporting a rigid tube steak leads to permanent impotence in men (and women. The clitoris is erectile tissue as well. It’s analougue in males is the glans penis.) stricken with this condition.

      1. I hope for your sake that last sentence fragment wasn’t a confession.

        1. Puh-leez RC! I am known for providing all sorts of helpful medical tips not found on WebMD; I am also Board Cert. in Carnival Medicine.

  25. lol, its about time someone put that corrupt, pompous windbag Arpaio in his place.

    http://www.Simple-Privacy.tk

    1. attaboy, anonbot!

    2. I would contend that contrary to your claim, RingoHungo, privacy is anything but simple.

    3. See? I am certain that it is developing real intelligence. He seems to have a better disposition than Skynet though…

    4. He seems to have a better disposition than Skynet though…

      Adding LOL makes any tyranny and exploitation tolerable

  26. What about the fucking Vikings boondoggle. I’m just glad I don’t have to pay for the thing.

  27. A newly discovered Mayan calendar, the oldest, runs into the future indefinitely.

    Dammit! I was really looking forward to the apocalypse.

    1. Yeah. I’d even stopped making my credit payments under the assumption that I won’t be needing that stuff by December of this year.

      How long do I have to keep paying now?

  28. WOW! Swiss citizenship does not come easily or cheaply at all. Bachmann made a huge mistake.

    1. Totally agree. Personally, I’d rather be a Swiss citizen than president of the United States, but that’s just me.

    2. I bet she’s just pissed that the Swiss believe in peace.

  29. with a deep narcissistic streak and sense of entitlement that made him think he could be lazy and indifferent and still be lord of all he surveys.

    Has he not been correct in this regard?

    1. Hey, the lazy, indifferent, and entitled deserve representation, too!

  30. If we were gonna have a black president, why couldn’t it have been Sameul L. Jackson?

  31. This Mayan calendar stuff is nonsense to begin with, since their calendar didn’t “end” even before this new discovery. It’s designed to keep counting past the end of the current b’ak’tun.

    1. Damn, Sarcasmic beat me to it upthread. Oh well.

  32. On Facebook, if you want to hide an ad, you have to tell them why you want it hidden. What should I select for the barackobama.com ad I’m seeing right now: a) “offensive”, b) “against my views”, or c) “sexually explicit”?

    1. I vote for (c) “sexually explicit”

    2. Sexually explicit. The ad will molest every orifice you posses. It will even try to skull fuck you.

    3. Go with offensive. IF they ask for clarification, point out that the ads are sexist and racist.

      You’ll probably have to do that with the Republicans as well.

      1. Yeah I’m with that, tarran.

    4. There’s no “all of the above”?

      Or you could use AdBlock. I don’t see ads on facebook thanks to AdBlock.

  33. Another statist catfight:

    Facing SEIU picket, Planned Parenthood cancels fundraiser

    http://thedc.com/J4Ra8z

  34. Joe Biden apologized to President Obama for saying publicly he was “totally comfortable” with same-sex marriage, pushing Obama’s timetable for the announcement up.

    What a lot of people don’t realize, and I’m sure it’ll come out with all the tell-all books once Obama’s out of office, is that Obama does pretty much whatever Joe Biden tells him to do.

    There isn’t any doubt about who wears the pants in that White House, and it isn’t Michelle. Joe Biden tells Obama to go gay marriage–and that’s what he does! Joe Biden tells Obama to jump?

    You know the drill.

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