A.M. Links: Orrin Hatch Faces Primary Challenge, Iran May Be Building a Drone, UN to Investigate U.S.


  • your tax dollars at rest

    Senator Orrin Hatch failed to secure the support necessary at the Utah GOP convention this weekend to avoid a primary challenger.

  • French President Nicholas Sarkozy's weak showing in this weekend's first round of Presidential elections is worrying investors that are uncertain about Europe's commitment to managing its debt.
  • Iran claims it has reverse-engineered a U.S. drone that crashed in the country last year.
  • The United Nations wants to investigate the plight of Native Americans in the United States.
  • The confessed Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik said he tried to target his victims based on how leftist they looked.
  • A Puerto Rican race car driver says he is suing NASCAR because they considered him "too white" for a Drive for Diversity program.

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  1. Senator Orrin Hatch failed to secure the support necessary at the Utah GOP convention this weekend to avoid a primary challenger.

    Hopefully the Utah GOP didn't fail to secure the support necessary to prevent a mouth-punching from Orrin Hatch.

    1. You know which other Orrin is mouth-punchable?

      1. quetzal's having a sharon angle moment.

      2. Orrin Hitler?

      3. O-Ren Ishii?

        No? Just scalpable, huh.

      4. Orrinda, California?

  2. A Puerto Rican race car driver says he is suing NASCAR because they considered him "too white" for a Drive for Diversity program.

    George Zimmerman hears you, amigo.

    1. About time they kept white people out of diversity programs. We all know that whites are all alike.

      1. A long time ago one of my ex girlfriends was erroneously identified as a minority during the process of onboarding her as a grad student at Ohio State. She received a letter telling her she needed to meet with some kind of minority adviser, as well as receiving information on all kinds of free assistance and stuff. She explained to the admissions folks that she did not qualify for any of this, but they wouldn't believe her. Evidently they thought she was being proud and they weren't going to let her besmirch the good name of all their racial preferences. She ended up having to meet personally witg the staff and convince them she was whitebread european stock before they would let her decline all the goodies. This was back in about 1996.

        1. She received a letter telling her she needed to meet with some kind of minority adviser, as well as receiving information on all kinds of free assistance and stuff.

          Kind of turns on its head the old Eddie Murphy SNL sketch about how white people treat each other when no "minorities" are around.

          1. They always have the micks and the polacks.

        2. hey db, catch the spring game on BTN? berry berry interesting

          1. I hate to disappoint, but I am not an OSU fan.

    2. There are already broad groups of Arabs and Africans who are considered "white". It's turning into quite a diverse ethnicity.

      1. Soon enough race will be defined not by one's biological racial makeup, in no small part because race is quickly becoming obsolete from cross race breeding, but by political ideology.

  3. "The confessed Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik said he tried to target his victims based on how leftist they looked."

    I target who to ignore the same way.

    1. You racist umm ageist uh speciesist .... End the profiling!

      1. The best word I can think up is "politicist." Not very catchy.

    2. if brett murders only teh [BLACKS], he'll get double points!

      1. Its funny. In the part of the South where I live, there are very few blacks who I would count as leftist. Vaguely statist, yes. But not stupidly leftist. They still (rightly) have a deep-seated suspicion towards government institutions. Some of their parents and grandparents remember the bad old days, and just because their people sit in the mayor's office, doesn't mean they trust the city yet.

        1. They still (rightly) have a deep-seated suspicion towards government institutions.

          I see what you did there.

          1. Deep-seated = big booties?

    3. Well trimmed beard and round glasses... *BANG*

      1. Son of bitch Sarcasmic, stop shooting at me!!

        I will return fire however, so take your best shot.

        1. Something about the professorial look just screams leftist... *BANG BANG* ... *BANG*

          1. This is more my style:

            Not a leftist

            1. If it looks like an uberlib professor, don't wait to see if it talks like an uberlib professor... just start shooting! *BANG* *BANG BANG BANG* *BANG*

              1. Well, he was liberal. Classical liberal. *BANG*

            2. All right. I have a pair of glasses just like that.

      2. Wait, if round glasses are liberal, what shape are conservative glasses? Libertarian glasses are obviously just one monocle for each eye.

        1. what shape are conservative glasses?

          Square. Obviously.

        2. Libertarian glasses are a pince nez?

          1. I'm not sure if a pince nez counts. The joining of two monacles suggests interdependence and ergo: communism.

        3. i tried one monocle per eye, but they kept falling out, so I switched to funky specs. I still have the top hat and decoder ring, though. Still a libertarian?

          1. Top hat cancels out beard and round glasses.

            1. It's just her hand that's furry, not her face.

              1. Spats and a waistcoat should do the trick.

                1. Different types will wear a daycoat, pants with stripes, or cut-away coat. What's important is a perfect fit.

                  1. PUTTIN ON DA RITZ!

            2. I'm going to have to disagree....hipsters wear top hats, so you need something else, such as a monocle or a Matrix-style baby farm to show your libertarian cred.

              1. Hipsters wear whatever will annoy the rest of us the most. The other day, I saw one wearing a fez.

                1. Did he have a scimitar and was he driving a tiny little car?

                  1. And a little monkey, don't forget the little monkey.

        4. I always thought those small black rectangle glasses were liberal glasses. You always see liberal women wearing them, I have made the comment about the glasses she is wearing. Liberal men have started wearing them to appear more feminine.

          Conservative glasses? Think Elton John.

          1. Well, it depends on the liberal. If it is a professor type who is still stuck in his 60s Marxist phase, then the beard and round glasses. Others just use whatever the latest stupid trend is in glasses. I don't understand why anyone ever wants any glasses frames other than roundish, wire rims. Why woudl you want to see your glasses frames?

            1. Why woudl you want to see your glasses frames?

              It makes no difference. You aren't seeing the frame so much as the difference between corrected and uncorrected vision, and it's peripheral anyway. Mine are rectangular metal half-rims, but I've worn round, wire, plastic, you name it. The main issues in choosing frames (apart from aesthetics) are how they fit on your head and how much range the lens dimensions give you

              1. It most definitely makes a difference. Rimless are the only way to go.

                1. It most definitely makes a difference. Rimless are the only way to go.

                  Maybe for you. My half-rims are too light to add to the weight of the frames, and I'm too shortsighted to see a rim, I just notice the blurriness

            2. Before I got lasik I only wore frames like that. But then again I wasn't trying to make some deeper statement with my choice of eye wear.

            3. I agree on the roundish, wire rims. If that means I have to have a shoot-out with Sarcasmic, then so be it.

              I don't understand why anyone ever wants any glasses frames other than roundish, wire rims.

              You answered your own question.

              Others just use whatever the latest stupid trend is in glasses.

              1. Drew Carey glasses.

            4. I don't understand why anyone ever wants any glasses frames other than roundish, wire rims.

              Because they are a fashion accessory located directly on my face? They do completely change the way you look, seems reasonable to want to direct that change even if you aren't like me and don't want to match your frames to your outfit.

        5. Libertarians wear monocles to make a political statement, not for correction. We just get bionic or cloned eyes.

          1. Eyes from orphan children at the workhouse.

        6. Conservative glasses = BCGs

      3. Well trimmed beard and round glasses

        I see my disguise will work well.

      4. "Well trimmed beard and round glasses... *BANG*"

        You forgot the ponytail and the sandals.

        1. Crap. Someone just gave me some Birkenstocks. Please don't punch me.

          1. Give them back. /sarc

            1. They're actually really comfortable. But I'm embarrassed to wear them in public.

      5. A few more ways to spot a leftist:

        1. The guy looks like he just came back from a safari.

        2. The guy is carrying a large man purse.

        3. The guy is on his way to work wearing holy jeans and sandals.

        4. They guy is actually a lady, but you had to get uncomfortably close to be sure, and there are still lingering doubts about the sex of said individual...

        5. Hair in ponytail and round glasses *BANG*!

      6. Oh, and if the person even utters the word 'deniers' or says 'well, I guess I have to side with the scientists' BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!

        1. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!
          BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!
          BANG, BANG, CLICK, CLICK!!!!!!!

          *** press, click***
          *** grab new mag***
          *** slap, click***
          *** pull back on slide, click ***

          BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!
          BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!
          BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!
          BANG, BANG, CLICK, CLICK!!!!!!!

          *** Big Smile***

  4. Iran claims it has reverse-engineered a U.S. drone that crashed in the country last year.

    I can't wait to see what kind of crazy ASCII-art they come up with for their .nfo file.

    1. Where are McCain and Lieberman?

      Shouldnt they be having a press conference right now declaring that Iran copying US drone which crash in Iran s is a war like act and we should start bombing?

    2. In other news they also claim to have reverse-engineered the T-1000, K.I.T.T. and Lady Gaga. Soon, all our base will belong to them.

    3. Riiiiight. I happen to know for a fact that those motherfuckers can turn a trip to the bathroom into an unbelievable clusterfuck.

  5. Is Putin banging Chapman?


    1. I would.

    2. He has started to smile.

      (Scroll down to Putin)
      Although all the pictures are good.

      1. The picture of Sadam looks like "The Most Interesting Man in the World."?

        You know, before he was hanged.

        1. Needs more XX.

          1. Stay thirsty my friend.

    3. It would be so awesome if Putin showed up with that trollop to a summit just unannounced.

      "I believe you and Anya have already met, yes?"

      Fuck you, I'm Putin.

    4. Wow, his wife has the physique of an about-to-retire middle school teacher.

      1. So Lyudmila is about what, 40, then? 47 max.

        1. 40 years and about 240 pounds!

          ... and she used to be an airline hostess; no wonder Aeroflot was always crashing ...

    5. I like the gymnast girl. I dated a gymnast once....oh my god.....

    6. We need more Vladimir Putin Action Comics.

        1. Unfortunately he hasn't published any new comics for about a year.

  6. I will repeat what I said in another article, there really is not that much of a difference between a Sarkozy and Hollande, both are unprincipled politicians that will say something today and do the opposite the next day.

    Hollande will say he will raise taxes on the rich to gain votes, Sarkozy says he will restrict immigration to win votes, both will not follow through with their plans, only very watered down versions to seem as if they keeping their promises.

    1. both are unprincipled politicians that will say something today and do the opposite the next day.

      So you are saying they are typical politicians.

      1. I guess I am, I just find it annoying how many media outlets like to analyse the election outcome as if it will have huge impact on France, Europe and even the world, I think it is going to be the same no matter who wins.

        1. I think it is going to be the same no matter who wins.

          A certain song by a band called The Who comes to mind...

          1. Baba O'Riley?

            1. The other one.

              1. Sympathy for the Devil?

                1. Immigrant Song?

                  1. Immigrant Song?

                    That's not The Who.

                    1. "Squeeze Box"

                    2. er...joke

                    3. Immigrant Song?

                      That's not The Who.

                      Right, we're supposed to take the word of an individual with a bunch of ferriner letters in his name, instead of English, as God intended?

                  2. Us and them?

                2. Sympathy for the Devil?

                  Not The Who.

                  1. Not The Who.


                    Hey, if it works for ifh.

                    1. Hey, if it works for ifh.

                      Forget it. IFH is way too spunky for you to compete.

                    2. And she is also a libertarian chick, so you don't stand a chance.

                    3. woof!

          2. I dunno, there's a few that can apply:

            "Who are you?", "I Can't Explain", "Baba O'Riley...pretty much the line up.

            Oh! That one!

            1. Which one's the deaf, dumb, and blind kid?

              1. The ones who vote for them.

          3. Happy Jacques?

              1. Teenaged Wasteland, fine. Pedants.

              2. Not a song.

                Actually it is. From wikipedia page on Baba O'Riley:

                "Teenage Wasteland" was in fact a working title for the song in its early incarnations as part of the Lifehouse project, but eventually became the title for a different but related song by Townshend, which is slower and features more lyrics

            1. That's Baba O'Riley

              1. That's Baba O'Riley

                While I know that, Ive never got the idea of naming the song something unrelated to the song.

                Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 is a good example.

                1. When "Baba O'Riley" was still part of the Lifehouse project, it was going to be 30 minutes long in concert.

                2. Real Solution #9

                3. Yeah, I used to always call it Teenage Wasteland until I got to college and the most pedantic person I've ever known drilled Baba O'Riley into my head every time the song came on.

    2. The big news though was that Le Pen's daughter won 20% of the vote.

      1. That is scary.

      2. How did Johnny Bluejeans do?

    3. Remember back in the day when all of the bien-pensants were petrified of Sarkozy as some kind of populist anti-immigrant tough guy who - horror! - might actually get elected president and start doing un-French things?

      Yeah, that was cool.

  7. Global Warming Deniers should have their homes burnt to the ground!


    1. A few days ago I remember shrike saying that there are no dangers from left wing extremists.

    2. Shouldn't we find a more carbon neutral way of persecuting our enemies?

      1. That would be intellectually honest. Can't have that.

      2. And think about the carcinogens!

    3. Why won't they let Mother Gaia take her revenge?

      1. "Vengeance is mine. I will repay," says Mother Gaia.

        1. "My name is Mother Gaia. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

    4. From the comments:

      it astonishes me how climate change deniers care so little about the futures their grandchildren will inherit on this planet. we all may have to suffer a bit while non polluting,sustainable energy sources are found, but it's worth it so that our children and grandchildren will have a liveable planet.

      Concern lady is concerned.

      1. She is also apparently using a computer with a shoddy space bar & no caps lock or shift keys.

        1. But you don't understand. If she buys a new computer that will put additional strain on Mother Earth considering all the raw materials that would have to be 'forcibly' extracted from her womb. Not to mention the extra work from using the shift and space keys. This creates heat, which exacerbates global warming.

          Have you no compassion, you monster!?

      2. If only she was just as concerned about bankrupting them.

        1. If only she was just as concerned about bankrupting them.


    5. "Global Warming Deniers should have their homes burnt to the ground!"

      And when the warmies' catastrophy doesn't happen, will they allow themselves to be dispossessed of every thing they own, and sent to a labor camp to work off the debts they inflicted on others?

      1. Now you're just being silly.

        They'll just move on to the next good reason to oppress you.

    6. There is a picture of zwick there. He would look so much better with a bullet hole in that dome. Hmmm, come to think of it he has that leftist professor look. Ok, two bullet holes.

    7. Nah, he's just using the liberal version of "Can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em." The same logic gets trotted out here a dozen times a day.

  8. How did this get through the FOP lobby?

    "The Connecticut state senate approved a bill Thursday that would allow citizens to sue police officers who arrest them for recording in public, apparently the first of its kind in the nation."

    1. Connecticut has had a degree of popular backlash against corrupt officers recently.

      But I guess state senators only started caring when the police abused some Yalies.

  9. Iran claims it has reverse-engineered a U.S. drone that crashed in the country last year.

    I suppose an Iranian drone will soon crash in the US.

    1. As soon as the rubber band unwinds all the way.

  10. Ron Paul has now officially won half of the delegates in Minnesota, so far.

    All the CD conventions have concluded and Paul has won 20 out of the 24 delegate slots at stake and nearly all of the alternates. Given that the composition of the delegations to the state convention, which is set for May 4-5 in St. Cloud, is similar to that of the CD conventions, there is a very good chance Rep. Paul will come away with the lion's share of delegates from Minnesota.

    1. there is a very good chance Rep. Paul will come away with the lion's share of delegates from Minnesota

      Tow the lion, Dr Paul!

    2. MSM: "Can't hear you."
      RP had a rally in Phila. yesterday. The MSM tv station right next door to the rally did report that "several hundred" showed up in the chilling rain to hear him. The newspapers reported "several thousand." But if six Romney supprters show up to hear him, you get at least two minutes on the tv cast.

    3. On a related note, I emailed the thegreenpapers.com, they wont be updated delegate counts until after the state con.

      I was kind of disappointed that they arent updating on the fly, but they still have a far more accurate count than the MSM sites.

      Will CNN et al even update their MN delegate count after the state con?

      1. The 20 so far are twice what he would have got from a proportional split from the vote count.

    4. Paul won 7 of the 8 districts. Santorum won the other.

      The count is 20 to Paul, 2 to Santorum, 2 to Unknown.

      1. I don't think Unknown is on the ballot down here, otherwise I might throw a vote at him.

      2. 2 to Unknown

        So, Gary Johnson snagged a couple Repub delegates?

        1. Shhhhh. Just saying that name can make you an unperson.

    5. Odds that the national GOP pushes states to get rid of caucuses after this year?

  11. News You Can Use: Cause of brain-freeze revealed!

    1. And hundreds of mediocre comedians can no longer joke, "Why are they wasting money on ________, they still don't even know why a slurpee makes my brain freeze."

    2. "The brain is one of the relatively important organs in the body, and it needs to be working all the time," study researcher Jorge Serrador, of Harvard Medical School, said in a statement.

      a researcher from Hawvawd would think this.

  12. The United Nations wants to investigate the plight of Native Americans in the United States.

    Food for dream catcher scandal, here we come!

    1. Uhh, apparently unknown to the UN, their plight is already well recorded in history. White man who speak with forked tongue came with firesticks and killed most of them and stole all of their land. Duhhh!

      1. And now Pale Face appease conscience with gamboling permits.

    2. Why don't they work on investigating the plight of the Gauls, first? They've got some historical catching up to do.

  13. Many of the country's estimated 2.7 million Native Americans live in federally recognised tribal areas which are plagued with unemployment, alcoholism, high suicide rates, incest and other social problems.

    The UN mission is potentially contentious, with some US conservatives likely to object to international interference in domestic matters.

    The conservative love for the United Nations is about to turn sour.

    1. ...incest and other social problems.

      I thought there was fairly decent twin studies that showed incest aversion was not entirely a social problem (as repugnant as it may be morally), but one that may also involve a genetic predisposition to feeling different when you 'kiss your cousin'?

      1. uh, I didn't phrase that exactly right...incest aversion is not the problem.

    2. FUCK the UN. If it were up to me they would have their money cut off, and each delegate given 12 hours to get the fuck out of the country.

      1. Are you crazy?

        12 hours is much too generous.

        1. You are so right. What was I thinking?
          They should all be hunted down and dragged immediately to an airplane. Zero hours.

          1. Should we splurge on parachutes?

          2. kinda like the idea of them being trussed up, sat astride a donkey backwards, and escorted out to the crowd's jeers

            1. Or make them perform donkey shows. Why let Mexico have that entire industry all to itself?

          3. Hell no, the tax payers aren't paying for plane tickets for those tin pot globalists. Put them on make shift rafts and send their arses out to sea. Give them some paddles. If they can paddle back to the crap holes they came from, good for them, if not, oh well, Sharks have to eat also.

            1. Paddles? Why so kind, Hyperion?

    3. It won't take long for the UN to approve weapons and medical supply drops for the Native American resistance movement.

  14. I've never heard of a program called The Catalina, but some of the ladies look good enough to eat.


    1. The guy carrying the chick has his eyes on the prize and, judging by the wood, agrees with you completely.

    2. Eh...I'd rather watch porn.

  15. It Eats Moar Dog!
    Toy dogs first; easier to dress-out & a smaller gut pile, plus they're useless anyway.
    Dog on a spit wasnt too bad fm a korean [ROAD] side vendor.
    What urban food deserts?
    I'll be around all daze...

  16. 50 character long word? I don't even know any words that long.

    1. Right. Everybody knows the longest word in the English language is "antidisestablishmentarianism".

    2. Right. Everybody knows the longest word in the English language is "antidisestablishmentarianism".

      1. What aobut the neo-antidisestablishmentarianism all the kids are into these days?

        1. Oops! And what is "pseudoneo-antidisestablishmentarianism", chopped liver?

      2. Then there's antidisestablishmentarianismography, the study of antidisestablishmentarianism

      3. Shouldn't that just be "establishmentarianism"?

        1. No, it should be antidisestablishmentarianismology.

          1. Blackadder: Certainly, sire. I will return before you can say 'antidisestablishmentarianism.'

            Prince George: Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that! Antidistibilitsmin... anti-misty-linstimbl...

            title card: Two Days Later

            Prince George: Anti-distinctly-minty-muntanism... anti...

            1. doo doo doo doo doo doooooo doo
              do-do-do-do do-do do-do doooooo

            2. I wonder what Prince George will do now that he's finishing up House? I'd like to see him do some straight up comedy again.

              1. I'd like to see A Bit More of Fry and Laurie.

              2. Reunion with Stephen Fry woudl be cool.

                1. I always wished they'd do that on House. What the heck, the show's done, anyway. Bring on Atkinson while you're at it.

          2. Psshhh.... supercalafragilisticexpialadocious.

    3. There is this place in New Zealand: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T.....kitanatahu

      There is also this place in Wales with just as many characters, I forgot its exact spelling though.

      1. There is also this place in Wales with just as many characters, I forgot its exact spelling though.

        Suspect the locals can't spell it either

        1. Welsh spellings make sense when you know what sounds the letters make. Irish, on the other hand...

  17. NASCAR argues that in trying to change the "face" of the sport, it has the right to select drivers for its diversity program based on skin color, attorneys for the sanctioning body and its former diversity program administrators have told a U.S. District court.

    I don't know if the fact that it is NASCAR makes the defense of affirmative action-type quotas more hilarious or less so.

    1. If nothing else, it should at least give the driver the ultimate trump card if he's pulled over in Alabama for looking illegal-immigrant-y

    2. it has the right to select drivers for its diversity program based on skin color

      As long as the drivers' *necks* are red. 😉

    3. Instead of a lap car to start the race, they have a police car in the back. There hoping for some track records.

      1. You'd think a Lap car would always be the first to cross the Finnish line.

        1. I think you're forgetting Ladas.

    4. Can't wait for the radio chatter on that one. "Alright good buddy, you just hook onto the 22 car's bumper and make like la migra are coming for ya."

      "What? I'm Puerto Rican! I don't have to worry about that!"

      Cue Days of Thunder style unscheduled pit stop.

    5. The rule is "darker than Montoya."


    Huntsman said that he knew he was toast from the first debate in Iowa when he admitted that he believed in science.

    The former ambassador to China also criticized his partys get tough approach to that country, saying I dont know what world these people are living in.

    source: the atlantic
    These people live in a world of radio entertainment which is just 5000 years old. In geologic terms theyre unruly teenagers!

    1. Sadly, The Atlantic is a bunch of really talented writers all trying to impress each other with how deep they can burrow into the East Coast hipster orthodoxy.

    2. Conservatives pull their kids out of school to keep them from being exposed to science and secularism. They sure as hell were not going to vote for Huntsman.

      Huntsman should run on Americans Elect - they are lining up all 50 states. Its time someone shakes the system up if Ron Paul won't.

      1. Yeah, every homeschooling parent hates the science and is ultra-leftist. Everyone knows that.


    3. Huntsman was toast when he first tried to position himself as a John Anderson type moderate - then decided he was a true conservative. Nobody knew what the hell he was.

      1. Right, but he could never out-crazy Michele, Flava Cain, or Rick W. Perry - who all led at one time in the polls.

        1. Flava Cain? Is there any reason you're saying that other than that he's black?

          1. Because they are both crazy pussy-hound media whores.

          2. And stupid goddamn conservatives couldn't tell the difference.

            I know my pop culture, pal.

            1. The clock is always the giveaway. Otherwise you couldn't tell Flav from Chuck D.

              Aside from the fact that Chuck D. actually has talent and doesn't look like a withered black gnome.

        2. For all his craziness he sure is doing a better job than your enlightened rulers in California. Let me guess, the failure of California is actually the fault of Bush and the Christian Taliban.

          1. I am no fan of Jerry Brown.

            I like Huntsman. I would vote for him under normal circumstances (for POTUS).

            He is no pandering liar like Romney.

            1. You are an outright liar, your punting for your party here as as bad as the pro CCP brigade on the internet.

            2. no kidding shrike. i also wouldve looked hard at huntsman

      2. He was claiming to be a moderate in the KULTUR WAR! That does not preclude him from being an economic conservative.

        1. He really was "toast" because he was trying to out Obama Obama - pretend to be the cool voice of dispassionate bipartisanship, time to heal, that sort of thing. The Republican Party wants an attack dog.

          1. They settled for an odd choice then.

            As for Huntsman, any politico who openly says there is a "right to healthcare (medical care, sic)", fuck him or her with a red hot iron ball mace. I don't care how "bi-partisany" they try to be. I'm glad he got tossed farther than a Caesar salad.

    4. What a load of excuse-mongering and blame-shifting; it underscores exactly why Huntsman never had a shot to begin with.
      1) If you've misjudged the mindset of your party's electorate that badly, then you've done nothing but waste time and money and demonstrate that your political instincts are shit;

      2) If you can't establish a strong narrative for the base of the party to latch on to, then that's your fault, not theirs. Huntsman had no national political legacy in place when he announced; hell, even Clinton had given a major speech at the 1988 Dem convention and was considered a possible Presidential candidate. And he honestly thought he had a real shot at getting the nomination? The man needs to read the last 30-35 years of American political history and learn some lessons from that if he really wants to be President.

    1. David Blaine?

    2. I was a little ticked off last night because I like Penn but I know how the show works. What I find the really maddening part is why he was kicked off.

      1. He had come up with the group's slogan for the fragrance, named Success by Trump, which was You Earned It. The slogan was branded as 'pompous' by the experts.

        What kind of fucking country do we live in that saying someone earned their success is pompous. Looks like the long-term effects of OWS are starting to show.

        1. Isn't "pompous" a vital part of Eau de Trump?

          1. With the rich odors of Russian skank and wig glue, Trump by Trump is the perfect fragrance for the busy mogul on the go.

            1. That's a terrible thing to say about Milla Jovovich. She's very popular in UKR.

              1. Speaking of Milla, they are re-making The Blue Lagoon again.

                Some stories of tropical Victorian incest are too vital to let slip out of the public imagination.

                1. re-heating crap doesnt improve it

              2. She is very popular in my house.

        2. Trump probably thought that Penn was mocking him; Trump's ventures generally are profitable only because he knows how to use bankrupcy law to get people to work for him very cheaply.

          1. This. Trump has never earned anything in his life.

          2. I imagine that Penn was mocking him.

          3. It wasn't Trump's call in this case, it was execs at Macy's. But I get your drift.

        3. L'Oreal agrees that it is pompous.

    3. Doug Henning?

      Oops! Too soon?

      1. Actually, too late.

  19. If anyone has a bomb and is trying to make the world a better place. May I suggest a target?

    "CHICAGO - Mikhail Gorbachev, the Dalai Lama and former U.S. President Jimmy Carter are just a few of the Nobel Peace Prize winners expected in Chicago on Monday for a three-day summit, the first of its kind in North America."

    Try to hit the place while the Lama is on the links. I think he's okay.

    1. I think maybe you just Nugented.

      1. You never go full Nugent!

    2. They're all irrelevant anyways.

    3. Sounds like the beginning of a good joke there. "Mikhail Gorbachev, Jimmy Carter, and the Dalai Lama walk into a bar"...

      1. ... and the barman says "Are you taking the peace?"

        1. ...they all sit down and order Irish car bombs.

    1. U.S. officials have declined to ... provide the original English text.

      May I please see the Dari/Pashto text, then?

      1. "Why do you keep hitting yourself, huh? Why do you keep hitting yourself?"

        1. I find this answer entirely responsive.

  20. Six Tips For Turning Awful Fan Fiction Into a Besteseller

    The Fifty Shades trilogy began as erotic fan fiction entitled Master of the Universe. If that made you think of Skeletor magically separating He-Man and Prince Adam for some disturbing self-exploration, you'd be understandably wrong, but overstandably creepy.

    No, Master of the Universe was actually a story about a couple in Seattle named Edward and Bella that the book's publishers want you to know was totally not at all about Twilight. OK, it was at first, but in a stroke of cynical genius, the publisher decided to disguise the horny fan fiction as an original universe using a new title and the least amount of effort possible. By the time it saw print as Fifty Shades of Grey, it was a totally different novel about virginal college grad Anastasia Steele and her rich seducer Christian Grey. The characters even have different names.

    1. I hate that book so damn much. Also waiting for when a gay male slash fanfiction gets turned into a book, just to see the media's startled reaction to it.

      1. There are LOTS of gay fanfic that have had the serial numbers filed off and published, usually as an ebook.

      2. No need to wait. The Harry Potter series is just another in a long line of homoerotic British boarding-school fiction.

    2. Stop giving away all your secrets.

      1. I'd love to publish some sort of vile bestseller. I keep sending out sample pages and proposals, but I never hear anything until the restraining order is delivered.

        1. That's not a restraining order, you doofus; it's a service order for the lawsuit involving their sudden and permanent blindness.

          You threw them all away, didn't you?

  21. Your daily Martin-Zimmerman fix:

    Zimmy is out on bail.

    A criminal defense attorney at TalkLeft gives the bail hearing a good going-over.

    1. That was a truly excellent analysis at TalkLeft.

      Two thoughts about the hearing: 1.) The prosecution seem very likely to lose unless they come up with some airtight evidence. The hearing looked very bad for them. But... 2.) In Zimmerman's apology to the family he claims that he didn't know the age of Martin. Were I the prosecution, I'd ask if he had known Martin's real age, would he have acted the same way. If not, that kills the argument that he was operating upon reasonable fear of harmful bodily injury or death.

  22. Haha! Full Sail University has a sidebar ad for scriptwriting. Complete with some douche ginger wearing a beret sitting in a coffee shop typing on his Mac.

    If only they'd play out the rest of the scene, where the manager comes over and tells him to get back to work.

  23. God damnit. I can't post a link, or excerpts from an article. Fucking squirrels.

  24. This one's for ProLib:

    "University of Florida Eliminates Computer Science Department, Increases Athletic Budgets."

    Defense lawyers ain't getting any cheaper, eh?

    1. Link here. Fucking squirrels.

      1. You SugarFree'd the link.

        1. Trying yet again.

          Apparently the squirrels are products of UF's underfunded CS department.

          1. More to come. They've been slashing budgets for all of the universities. One question I have is whether that's the engineering school's CS department or the one in business? If the latter, not such a big deal, though I don't care much for them cutting something that conceivably has some utility.

            1. Usually CS lives in the library science or business and the engineering program is Electrical and Computer Engineering. So yeah, its probably the business one.

              1. Let them join the Engineering college then.

    2. And the number of Floridians attending GT increases.

      I went to school with a ton of people from FL. Georgia Tech was the public engineering school for America's wang.

      1. I had some friends that went there. It was (and still is, I'm sure) an excellent engineering school.

        Florida's was good the last time I checked, but with all of the cuts lately, I worry that they'll pull back from things like that to protect athletics and Early Minoan Defecation Rituals.

      2. No love for Florida Tech, robc?

        1. Unless things have changed, Florida (overall) is the premier engineering school in Florida. I've heard that UCF has made some pretty huge strides, too.

          1. Florida (overall) is the premier engineering school in Florida

            Which is why Florida's best and brightest ended up in Atlanta.

            1. Now you're just being catty.

              1. Enrollment by state, Fall semester 2010:

                1. Georgia 11,258
                2. Florida 835
                3. Texas 417

                (South Dakota 0, even ND has 2. Guam has 3)

                You saying those 835 went north for the weather?

                Every floridian I knew when I was there 20+ years ago was a top tier student.

                Interestingly, the in-state numbers are way up from my day.

                1. Florida is one of the biggest states in the country. It would be shocking if that weren't the case.

                  I have friends from high school who went to UGA, too. Probably some sort of brain disorder at work, but still.

          2. Florida A&M would be, if not for those FSU shitheels bullying their way in and tanking the GPA average.

            1. "...tanking the GPA average"
              or sometimes just tanking the GPA. 😉

          3. My grandfather's Civil Engineering degree came from Florida many years ago.

        2. No. None at all.

          1. Oh well. UCF does have a good engineering department, and the main reason people hated it 20 years ago was its incompetence at scheduling classes (U Can't Finish). They've (mostly) gotten over that problem now, and UCF has the added advantage of having females attend.

            1. My oldest son is majoring in Mechanical, and I was surprised at how highly rated UCF was as an engineering school. It's definitely an option, though I think he plans to go to Florida.

              1. I hear they're building a Chuy's in Gainesville. Remember when college towns had their own flavor. Now we can have Elvis's favorite Tex-Mex in Gainesville. (I bitch, but I guarantee that when I am forced down there for family visits, I will be eating at Chuy's enthusiastically. Two words. Chili fucking Gravy.)

        3. haha, FIT. they have a campus here. They keep trying to get all of us to go there, but I think I want to actually get a degree from a school that isn't a joke.

  25. I was watching the morning (local) news today and happened to catch the end of a segment on music therapists, who play instruments and sing to chemo patients, etc. It's a great idea (my mom really enjoys it when she goes to chemo), but the thing that really fucking stuck in my craw was a line in the report "the state is considering licensing the practice". Fuck. Me. Dead. Shoot. Me. Now.

    1. play instruments and sing to chemo patients

      Fuck me, who knew chemo could get worse?

      1. Yeah, everybody hates music.

        1. I like to be able to choose my own. When you're having chemo you're a captive audience. During mine I liked being able to doze, read, etc without anyone bothering me and assuming how I was feeling, playing a song to make me happy etc. And you're in a group room, so you can't escape

          1. The place my mom goes has an open room or little cubbies with TVs. And a waterfall. The harpist is really just background music.

      2. Not that it validates live performance, but I always liked this little clip on an old man reacting to music from his golden years:


    2. one is grandfathered playing anti-war, bushitler genre's.

    3. "the state is considering licensing the practice"

      Kristen, anything that can be billable medical will be licensed. And I mean, anything. If there was a therapeutic benefit for the administration of bestiality, there would be a licensing board.

    4. I heard that on the radio. Why does it need licensing again?

      1. Because music therapy is a college major and if the guild doesn't protect them with licensing, how can they justify $100k in student loans?

        1. And to keep out anyone with natural talent who doesn't have a "music therapy" degree. And also to keep out anyone who might want to just, you know, *gasp* *faint*, volunteer to do it.

        2. I have this odd vision of a giant bubble bursting.

          1. You really should have those haemmorhoids checked out.

            1. The tuition bubble is bigger than all of the haimorrhois (can't post one word in Greek? Really?) in history combined.

              1. Sorry, one "m", two "r"s. I always misspell that.

            2. haemmorhoids checked out.

              Haemmorhoids? OK, dude, that's it; I'm not buying the "I'm not Canadian*" schtick a minute longer.

              (*or other weird Brit mutation)

              1. I liked the use of the ae (squirrels won't allow the actual character?) ligature, but the rest of the spelling was odd. Canadian-like, if you will.

                1. I'M NOT CANADIAN!

                  1. Of course you're not. Don't listen to them, they're just meanies. Here, console yourself with this lovely plate of poutine

                    1. ARRRGH!

                    2. He better not be Canadian. All of our other Canadians are licensed to be Canadian.

                    3. He is. Notice how he spells "Grouvus"!

    5. "the state is considering licensing the practice".

      You just don't want to allow just any throat singer in your room.

    6. I wish I had caught which state it was. They said a couple of other states license this stuff. North Dakota was one of them, IIRC.

    7. More student loans! Yay!

    8. Have you ever listened to an UN-licensed music therapist?

      I'm thankful the state is stepping in to protect us all.

      1. Will there be a licensing exam? Would it include a performance requirement as well as a written component?

        1. Yes, there will. I'm writing the licensing req's and developing the "comprehensive" examination.

          There is, of course, a physical and psych exam as well.

      2. I keep reading that as United Nations-licensed and thinking "those fuckers will stick their noses in anywhere, won't they?!?!"

        1. Not if physical danger is involved. Then they just send in the blue hats to fuck everything up and leave after all the pretty children have been turned out.

    9. Reminds me of the Ankh-Morporkh book where the Musician's Guild enthusiastically enforced its licensing requirements. Soul Music?

  26. If the Iranians were really smart, instead of lying about reverse-engineering the drone, they'd go the other way and announce that they plan to use only WWI-era weapons to save money. Because the drone lie--which, of course, no one believes--will be used to justify us building even crazier weapons.

    1. Incidentally, look for U.S. policy on drones--"Anything goes, bitches!!"--to change dramatically when other countries really do start deploying them.

      1. other countries have like israel, france, the UK, etc. >the trick is GPS sat access or ur just a kid w micro-chopper

        1. "...the trick is GPS sat access or ur just a kid w micro-chopper"
          Hogwash, absolute hogwash. Off the shelf, consumer GPS units work just fine and have done so since the 1st Gulf War when the US military turned off the inserted error feature. This is the model I use for aerial photography (mostly commercial shoots)in NYC - http://www.draganfly.com/uav-h.....flyer-x8/. It can mount a Canon 5D camera body directly or a Scorpion pan/tilt head if the client wants a Panavision or film camera.

  27. The confessed Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik said he tried to target his victims based on how leftist they looked.

    That meant killing anybody in sight.

  28. The United Nations wants to investigate the plight of Native Americans in the United States.

    Among the other equally useless things that body does.

  29. A Puerto Rican race car driver says he is suing NASCAR because they considered him "too white" for a Drive for Diversity program.

    Gives a new and fresh look to the phrase "driving while not-diverse-enough."

    1. As opposed to the old standby of driving while too diverse.

  30. Fucking Italians. Soccer fans riot over poor play by the home team. Demand players hand over their jerseys. Players cry about it.

    "Genoa were losing 4-0 at the 53rd minute when the Marassi crowd halted play by throwing fireworks and climbing on top of the tunnel.

    Captain Marco Rossi went to negotiate with the ultras, who demanded the squad remove their jerseys, as they were "unworthy" of wearing the Genoa colours.

    After some time, the players accepted and there were tears from Giandomenico Mesto as he handed over his shirt."

    1. Coulda been worse. Hajduk Split fans were so pissed off at their players that they snuck into their home ground and dug 11 graves in a 4-4-2 formation

      1. I was enjoying the sweet, sweet, tears of divers more than anything in that article, but that is some class fan hate right there. Makes the old 'Aints fans antics look so tame by comparison.

    2. Money quote:

      Football Italia and Sky Sports Italia now reporting that Genoa sacked manager Alberto Malesani after the match. This is the second time Malesani has been sacked by Genoa this season.

      1. "I just can't quit you, Alberto!"

  31. More civility on display by the liberals.

  32. Hey,
    So this is morning links right so I can put up a poll and ask y'all to vote right?

    Vote for Kiran Hill if you would 🙂

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