Supporters of Obamacare Not Optimistic on Oral Arguments' Second Day, Russia Not Number One Enemy of U.S. Anymore Says Medvedev, Syrian Draft-Aged Men Banned from Leaving the Country: P.M. Links

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  1. Dmitry Medvedev would prefer Mitt Romney not oil up and go full Rocky IV montage because Russia and the U.S. are not enemies anymore, tovarisch.

    I must break you.

    1. This is like the worst chat room ever.

  2. But a breed of giant Gambian rats have been rapidly reproducing in the Florida Keys despite a decade-long effort to wipe them out. KeysNet reports the invasive African native species first began showing up between 1999-2001 after a local exotic animal breeder released eight of the rats into the wild.

    Shouldn’t the pythons be taking care of this for us?

    1. Yeah, what’s up with that? Come on, pythons, earn your keep.

    2. Shouldn’t the pythons be taking care of this for us?

      I think those guys are limited to the Everglades. Too far from the Keys for them to be much help here. What they need are a bunch of 12-year-old boys with pellet guns.

      1. That’s what they said about the pythons!

        1. That’s the best solution to any small-animal infestation. Being given carte blanche to shoot rats with BB guns is like manna from heaven to a pre-teen boy.

          1. Rats and pythons. South Florida. Two great tastes that taste great together.

          2. Skinner: Well, I was wrong; the lizards are a godsend.
            Lisa: But isn’t that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we’re overrun by lizards?
            Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They’ll wipe out the lizards.
            Lisa: But aren’t the snakes even worse?
            Skinner: Yes, but we’re prepared for that. We’ve lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
            Lisa: But then we’re stuck with gorillas!
            Skinner: No, that’s the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

            1. Brilliant. We could use thinking like that in Florida.

          3. Are there any places in the U.S. where one can boar hunt with an automatic weapon?

            1. OMG that would be the shit

  3. Trayvon Martin’s mom is seeking to trademark “I Am Trayvon” and “Justice For Trayvon.” I am certain her motives have nothing to do with the prospect of monetary gain.

    1. “My Baby” was already taken, presumably.

      1. “My Baby” was already taken, presumably

        Why bother at all? She’ll make more selling the movie rights to Hallmark.

    2. Trayvon Martin’s mom is seeking to trademark “I Am Trayvon” and “Justice For Trayvon.”

      If she didn’t, someone else would.

  4. Under the new restrictions, reported by local Syrian news outlets, all males between 18 and 42 were banned from traveling outside the country, a move that appeared to be aimed at making it easier to draft more men into the military.

    Aren’t the rebels pulling from the same pool?

  5. Conservatives want to regulate internal vaginal fluid. I can’t imagine a more intrusive government than that – and I am a fucking sword swinger.

  6. Behold, quite possibly the fucking stupidest political slogan ever:

    http://www.trbimg.com/img-4f70…..of-003/600

    It’s actually sort of funny right until you realize that there is at least one mouth breathing half-wit out there somewhere congratulating themselves for their cleverness.

    1. Obama has delivered eternal life!

    2. If you’re so pro-live, prove it. Start picketing cemeteries.

      1. Yeah!

    3. It’s nothing short of pure fucking genius IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

      1. Makes sense dude!

  7. In cyberspace, everyone can hear you scream.

    1. That would have been a good tagline for “The Social Network.”

  8. Summer of Recovery III — even less recovery and more pain.

  9. Syria puts travel restrictions on men who are the right age for being drafted into slaughtering other men.

    “If the government can force you to buy healthcare insurance, what else can it do?”

    Well I guess that question has been answered. Enjoy your serfdom, chattel.

    1. The government (of the U.S., no less) could definitely already do that.

      Which is not okay.

  10. Unfortunately, I think Ron Paul’s instincts about the SCOTUS are correct in this case.

    The one thing the SCOTUS will not under any circumstances do is allow any precedent to be set that might undermine the state’s ability to comprehensively regulate all economic life in any way the Congress envisions. Jamming as much as possible into the Interstate Commerce Clause has been the SCOTUS’ reason to exist for decades. No matter how tortured the reasoning required to make an accomodation, they will undertake it.

    Nothing will be done that “threatens” a return to Lochner. Nothing.

    Kelo found that out, and the opponents of the ACA will find that out.

    1. Blaahhh! You underestimate the SCOTUS. From my angle the SCOTUS has been liberty oriented from Griswold to Citizen’s United – many “correct” decisions which include Roe, Lawrence, Kelo, Heller, and others beside the two I start with.

      Is that by accident or design? Who knows?

      1. also, christfag

  11. DSK charged with aggravated pimping, Jay-Z jealous.

    1. A pimp’s love is a different kind of love.

    2. WTF is “aggravated pimping”? Do you slap the hos harder?

      1. A pimp more at ease with the world would have been convicted of mollified pimping.

        1. Would that be mollified or mellow pimping?

  12. “Who is it that always stands up with the world’s worst actors? It’s always Russia, typically with China alongside. In terms of a geopolitical foe, a nation that’s on the Security Council, and as of course a massive nuclear power, Russia is the geopolitical foe,” Romney told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.

    Russia and China were in scenes with Sofia Coppola?

    1. She’s not the worst actor ever. I mean, she sucked, but I blame her dad.

      1. Time might have dulled your revulsion. Rewatch that movie.

        1. Like hell I will.

    2. What’z’is name, older Anakin. Worst actor ever. Such a bad actor, Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor couldn’t save the scenese he was in.

      1. I thought he did a decent job in Shattered Glass. Lucas can kill any actor.

        1. Faster, more intense.

      2. I remember seeing him in something else and he wasn’t that bad. I blame Francis Ford Coppola for the lines he was given in Star Wars.

        1. I blame Kubrick for the lines Yoda was given.

      3. I guess Obi-wan hid Luke on Tattooine because its full of sand. Anakin doesn’t like sand, it’s rough and coarse and it gets everywhere.

        You know Lucas is in it for the money because no self-respecting writer would have ever left that line in his screenplay.

        1. That line? You say that like there was only one.

          1. Yes. To be fair, one should point out the non-awkward lines from the prequels. Or even from the first three films, to a lesser extent.

            1. one should point out the non-awkward lines

              This might be more challenging than it first appears.

  13. Arguments at the high court focused on whether the mandate for virtually every American to have insurance “is a step beyond what our cases allow,” in the words of Justice Anthony Kennedy.

    Kennedy isn’t even going to milk his position as deciding vote?

    1. He asked similar “devil’s advocate” questions to both sides.

  14. Dang it Lucy. I was about to get my hate rage on until I clicked on the picture of that puppy.

  15. Missouri shenanigans: Romney and Paul campaigns want Jeff County results thrown out.

    The complaint says that delegate voting did not begin until 6:30 p.m., eight and a half hours after the appointed 10 a.m. start time.

  16. Gary Johnson polling at 7% nationally.

    If the Libertarian Party candidate can reach 15 percent in national polls, he would guarantee himself a seat at the nationally televised debates between President Obama and his eventual Republican challenger.

    1. From that poll:

      If you are Hispanic, press 1. If white, press 2. If African-American, press 3. If other, press 4.

      Hispanic 10%
      White 75%
      African-American 10%
      Other 5%

      Which button does George Zimmerman push?!

  17. I kinda have to pinch my nose a bit whenever I visit Drudge, but…

    Surveillance video shows dozens of teenagers running through the store. Police said about 80 to 100 students stormed in, ransacking the shelves, before the school’s vice principal ordered everyone outside.

    http://www.local10.com/news/Po…..index.html

    WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

  18. When in Doubt, Smear the Dead Kid
    By David Weigel

    There’s been some pretty heavy reworking facts to fit narratives on both sides of this case that it’s absurd to try to manage at this point. Martin is a dope-smoking jewel thief and Zimmerman is a white Hispanic racist wannabe cop. Fuck you, news media.

    1. Parse, spin, prevaricate, repeat.

      1. Parse, spin, prevaricate, check ratings, repeat.

        FIFY

        1. I accept correction.

          1. In Russia, correction accept you!

            1. So, are we reforming the Soviet Union with the U.S. as the newest republic to join? I’m unclear on the latest developments.

              1. The Soviet Commerce Clause was even worse than the one the liberals have dreamed up.

                So, yes.

                1. Cool. You know, I like those little fur hats they wear, and I’m willing to join the party so that I can eat regularly and stuff.

    2. Trayvon’s mom wants to trademark some of the slogans that are going around. Soon she’ll sell the movie rights.

      Only then will we have the whole story.

      1. In 3D with CGI if I have anything to say about it.

        1. Need a hand?

        2. Just don’t let Spielberg get involved. Somehow I don’t think Zimmerman pulling out a walkie-talkie and Martin dropping dead will work.

          1. Me and Michael Bay have got this.

          2. But I was planning on producing while Stephen was going to direct. Maybe I’ll accept James Cameron’s gracious offer instead.

  19. In Soviet Russia, news media fucks you!

  20. Justice Stephen Breyer, expected to side with President Barack Obama, made the case that the government should be able compel commerce if it’s in the strong interest of the general public and it’s done within a market that affects everyone.

    What that has to do with the Constitution, I don’t know.

    1. Would it be considered crass if another justice jumped up and asked him that while court is in session?

      Put him on the spot about what is Constitutional. Watch him squirm.

      Also, has Ginsberg been conspicuously quiet, or is it just me?

      1. I don’t know why, but still I’m nursing this crazy hope she’ll vote against the mandate.

        1. If I had to put odds on it, I’d say it’s still 2:1 she votes for it.

      2. She’s busy figuring out new ways the US Constitution sucks because it limits the powers of government, despite BEST INTENTIONS.

    2. The fact that Kagan DID NOT ANSWER when asked about the constitutionality of a law mandating the eating of broccoli is all we need to know.

    3. Well the Constitution is like a hundred years old and written in an old language, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

      1. ^^^^THIS^^^^

      2. When they wrote it and created the amendment process they obviously didn’t understand that times would change.

  21. Mitt Romney not oil up and go full Rocky IV montage

    Thanks for that mental image. *shudders*

    1. I don’t get this at all. Rocky IV‘s montage happened in the Siberian winter and there was nary a drop of oil in sight.

      Now, Rocky III‘s montage happened on the beach, with Apollo Creed whipping the Italian Stallion into shape for his bout with Clubber Lang. Plenty of oil, sand and surf there.

      I know that doesn’t play into the Russia theme very well, but I just thought I’d point it out.

      1. Well, Rocky III was reasonably entertaining. Rocky IV sucked. Romney sucks, therefore, Rocky IV. However, he probably doesn’t suck as much as Obama, so we’re reserving a later Rocky film for him.

        Does this make sense?

        1. Does this make sense?

          As long as you’re making the point that a majority of the Rocky movies sucked and that an overwhelming majority of politicians suck . . . then yes, it made perfect sense.

          1. Well, it’s not a perfect analogy, because the percentage of politicians that suck is far greater than the number of Rocky movies that sucked, though most of them did indeed suck.

        2. Not really. Because once you watch Red Dawn and have your America Fuck Yeah! groove on, Rocky IV becomes awesome.

          1. And Red Dawn sucked, too. In fact, I think Rocky IV made more sense.

            1. What kind of ass looks for this “sense” thing in a Patrick Swayze feature?

              1. What kind of ass watches one of his movies?

                1. What kind of ass watches one of his movies?

                  Well, if you’re watching Ghost with the girlfriend, it’s because you’re hoping to get laid that night.

                  1. Far be it for me to block the perpetuation of the species.

                  2. It wasn’t Ghost, it was…fuck, Dirty Dancing.

                2. What kind of ass watches one of his movies?

                  Well, he was in 11:14, which was pretty good.

                  1. SF’d the link, and got squirreled. Good combo.

                    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0331811/

                3. What kind of ass watches one of his movies?

                  Well, he was in 11:14, which was pretty good.

            2. And Red Dawn sucked, too.

              WRONG.

              I await your rebuttal.

              1. No, right. Are you insane?

                1. I don’t think we’re talking about the same movie. The one I’m thinking of was completely awesome and the third greatest movie Powers Boothe was in.

                  1. The one I’m thinking of was completely awesome and the third greatest movie Powers Boothe was in.

                    1. Sin City
                    2. Tombstone
                    3. Red Dawn

                    Amirite?

                    1. Gotta drop Tombstone there and pick up By Dawn’s Early Light.

                    2. Forgot about By Dawn’s Early Light and haven’t seen that in years.

                      Tombstone, obviously correct. And at number two, that tells you how awesome the number one must be. Which is, of course, a little movie called

                      Sudden

                      Death.

                      Ka. Pow.

                    3. Deadwood! (Okay, a series, not a movie)

                2. Red Dawn has a thrilling set-up, some cool Act II moments, and a dreadful Act III.

                  On balance I think that makes it a B-.

                  1. I don’t even know you people anymore.

                    1. Seriously, Red Dawn is the second best flick Swayze was in.

              2. Red Dawn kicked ass! And Lea Thompson is STILL on my celebrity waiver list.

        3. I’ve got a soft spot for Rocky IV–christ, there’s like five or six montages in there, the soundtrack is a cliche-ridden mess of 80s schmaltz, and the characters total cartoons. I’d take it over the 2nd anyday, and the third is only cool because of Mr T and Thunderlips.

          1. And I’m pretty sure that ending speech he gave to the Ruskies ended the Cold War.

            1. Ye gods, that was a bad film. Killing Apollo was a sign.

            2. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I can change, and you can change, EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE.”

              1. You know, he was right. Things changed! People changed!

        4. Rocky 4 sucks?!? blasphemy!

      2. Plenty of oil, sand homosexual overtones and surf there

        1. I, too, accept corrections.

          1. It’s only gay if you bring the gay with you. Like Magnum–not gay.

            Top Gun, on the other hand, is gay. I’m pretty sure the novelization focused on all of the gayness.

            1. Magnum is exempt by way of a boss moustache and a diminutive man-servant. Wait a minute….

              1. Higgins was in charge and worked for Orson Welles. Otherwise, you’d be right.

            2. You know what else I found to be gay?

              The Shawshank Redemption

              1. Well, there was gay sex in that movie, so I suppose you could be right. And the warden seemed kind of gay.

                None of that in Escape from Alcatraz.

            3. If anyone was gay it was one of the Simons, or Hardcastle.

              1. Both Simons. For each other.

              2. Lacey was gay.

                1. Lacey was gay.

                  Yes, I think that’s indisputable.

              3. Matt was gay, too, since he wasn’t sexing up Princess Ardala. Which confuses some people because of the mustache.

                1. I dispute everything in this thread.

                  1. I dispute everything in this thread.

                    Fine, then you’re gay too!

                    1. You know what movie was as far away from gay as you can get?

                      This movie riiiiiiiiiiight here!

                    2. +1000

    2. Thanks for that mental image. *shudders*

      That’s still not as bad as Gingrich sunbathing.

  22. “That flipping off the camera while shirtless photo you might have seen is not of Trayvon Martin.”

    Of course the picture of him from his middle school years that is used by the media is totally accurate.

  23. Still not as bad as Gingrich sunbathing:

    http://reddogreport.com/2011/0…..thing-tmz/

  24. Syria puts travel restrictions on men who are the right age for being drafted into slaughtering other men.

    Its generally a bad idea to draft people and give them guns in the middle of a popular uprising.

    The Russians are buds with Syria. You’d think they would clue the Syrians in to how that worked out when the Czar tried it.

    1. Say, we intervened in the Russian Revolution. You don’t think. . .nah, we’d never do that.

    2. Assad and company are organizing death squads based on ethnic groups. So while Sunnis will not fire on Sunnis, they will most definitely fire on Christians, and so on with other groups. They are also importing mercs from places like Pakistan and the Gulf states, which is how Bahrain handled its insurrection.

  25. Loss of Innocence: The Trayvon Martin Story.

    Starring Jaden Smith as Trayvon Martin and Danny Trejo as George Zimmerman. Featuring Denzel Washington as President Barack Obama.

    Directed by Ang Lee.

    (I’m pitching it to Miramax tomorrow)

    1. I love Danny Trejo, but he’s too old to play Zimmerman. I would recommend Luis Guzman, instead.

      My wife and I have a running joke that Luis Guzman makes every movie he is in better by at least 60%. Great character actor.

      1. and Ron Howard should narrate.

      2. He was great in that episode of Community a few months ago.

      3. You’re absolutely right – Luis Guzman adds something to every movie he’s in. I still refuse to see Journey 2, but you make an excellent point. Should Mr. Trejo have prior committments, I believe Mr. Guzman would be an inspired casting choice.

      4. Louis Guzman looks too hispanic hispanic as opposed to white hispanic. Then again so does Danny Trejo, so I’m stumped on who should play Zimmerman.

        Of course, you probably could pitch it to Miramax (or any other Hollyweird studio) and they’d probably give you a huge bag of money for it, which is just pathetic.

        1. Louis Guzman looks too hispanic hispanic as opposed to white hispanic. Then again so does Danny Trejo, so I’m stumped on who should play Zimmerman.

          I understand your concerns with my casting choice. But for, you know, dramatic purposes and all, I want my Zimmerman to be as menacing as possible. I intend to film the key scene with a shirtless Trejo.

          1. Objection withdrawn. Shirtless Danny Trejo will scare the fuck out of every suburban white chick in the audience. Just before they discover they’re all pregnant somehow (he has, what, 14 kids or something?).

            1. “You mean to tell me that a Mexican neighborhood watchman is a goddamned federale?!”

        2. Want to go for more of a comedic angle? I’m available. Call me. Please, I need work.

          1. Want to go for more of a comedic angle? I’m available. Call me. Please, I need work.

            Yes, but for a comedic angle, we’d be looking more for a comedian.

            Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

        3. so I’m stumped on who should play Zimmerman.

          Ricky Martin. He’s very white looking and everyone hates him already. He just needs to put some weight on.

          1. Chaz Bono for Zimmerman?

    2. Co-starring Elizabeth Hasselbeck as the bag of Skittles.

      1. Thanks, Mongo. It’s off to Best Buy to buy a new laptop. The water I spit all over my keyboard should pretty much this one. 😛

      2. Mario Lopez as George Zimmerman
        Jesus Christ as Barack Obama
        and in an interesting twist
        Jesus Christ as Trayvon Martin
        Maria Menounos as Zimmerman’s battered but smokin-hot girlfriend
        and Elizabeth Hasselback as the bag of skittles.

        1. Call my agent. I think this sounds like a terrific project.

          “Looking deeply into the dark, compassionate yet sultry, eyes of the The President, she says in hushed voice, “I know he’s got a temper. I’ve seen it before, but I never thought he would go so far. I’m so confused. I just need to be comforted.”

          Hhhhmmmm…

          1. The class and dignity on display, the composure that he demonstrates in not taunting that poor girl is breathtaking.

            The other option is that he thought it was actually a coherent response. I kinda lean towards that now that I think about it.

  26. Just checking in…

    Anything new?

    1. Mary, Mary, why ya buggin’?

      1. Mary Mary, quite contrary…..

    2. I know where you live, Mary.

  27. http://www.google.com/hostedne…..63eacd6f71

    Judge dismisses most counts against Michigan Militia.

    I bet Obama sends them to Bagram Prison now instead.

    1. I thought we kept all of our terrorists in Cuba? Or are you thinking drone process?

  28. Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

    1. I know where you live, Mary.

    2. I think so, but before you film yourselves doing that again, how are you gonna get the trousers off the chimp?

    3. Uh… yeah, but where will we get rubber pants our size?

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