Friday Funnies

Mitt Mania

Henry Payne | 3.23.2012 7:00 AM

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WTF 13 years ago

Needs more christfag.
1. Bucky 13 years ago
  
  needs more Owebamaphiles fainting before our dear leader.
  He's Running Again!
  "pack up the babies and grab the old ladies 'cause everyone goes, to Barry O's show..."
  apologies to Neal Diamond, Baa, Baa, Baaaaaaaaa...
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Is this telling me that GOP headquarters isn't as exciting a gay cruising location as an Apple store? I find that hard to swallow.
1. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
  
  If you're a young GOP'er and you're hot to trot with all the hottest GOP menz, just pick up the phone and dial 1-800-SANTORUM.
  
  $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older to call.
2. Maxxx 13 years ago
  
  I find that hard to swallow.
  
  Is santorum an easier swallow for you?
Mo 13 years ago

Tebow plays at the "SPORTS" stadium now?
1. Xenocles 13 years ago
  
  Unless the Jets dump Sanchez, Tebow doesn't play at all now.
2. Ska 13 years ago
  
  Giants Stadium would have wrongfully tarred the NY Giants.
  1. WTF 13 years ago
    
    It is now the Metlife Stadium. So, tar away!
    1. Ska 13 years ago
      
      Shit, and I still call Citifield Shea stadium. Need coffee. Also, need to not be acting like old guy.
      1. Xenocles 13 years ago
        
        I still call it Jersey.
      2. WTF 13 years ago
        
        At least Yankee Stadium is still called Yankee Stadium.
        
        older miss 13 years ago
        
        and yet the Rebels play at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium
3. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
  
  Tebow plays at the "SPORTS" stadium now?
  
  And I'm fairly certain that the word "Tix" doesn't appear on any signage at a place like Augusta National.
  1. Rich 13 years ago
    
    STICKS NIX HICK PIX TIX
4. older miss 13 years ago
  
  TEBOW plays sportsball, so it works
SIV 13 years ago

OT:

In Birch's ideal world, paying with cash would be viewed like drunk driving?something we do with decreasing frequency as more and more people understand the negative social consequences.
1. WTF 13 years ago
  
  "And that's chump change compared to Uncle Sam's tax gap over the past decade, which has been estimated at $3 trillion. More than one half that gap is attributable to underreporting of business income and much of that stems from unreported or underreported cash?that great little cash-only Italian place down the block might not be paying its taxes in full."
  
  Fuck off, slaver.
2. Xenocles 13 years ago
  
  The best part is at the very bottom there's a link to another article: "Why it's so easy for hackers to steal financial information from restaurants."
3. Maxxx 13 years ago
  
  Those are just the tangible costs of cash. We also must pay for the social ills caused by a physical currency system: underground criminal economies, tax evasion, environmental damage, counterfeiting.
  
  Cause none of that's possible without cash
  
  What a dumbfuck.
  1. alarm 13 years ago
    
    ... and climate change
Philip M 13 years ago

Wow. 4 white men talking about birth control. No wonder everyone's excited.
1. yawn 13 years ago
  
  Rachael Maddow is not a man and neither are her co-hosts
Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago

The Founders would be relieved if people don't feel "passion" or "mania" about a politician they support.

But you shouldn't have to feel like a cold shower after voting for a candidate, either.
1. WTF 13 years ago
  
  A cold shower? I'm picturing the decon scene from "Silkwood".
2. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
  
  Or a rape shower.
  
  Some folks here - myself not included - will pull the lever for the GOP nominee, whomever that may be, their logic being anyone but Obama. Doing that would leave me feeling dirty, like I needed a scalding hot shower with Comet and a scrub brush.
  1. STEVE SMITH 13 years ago
    
    YOU CALLED?
  2. Restoras 13 years ago
    
    I refuse to do that this year. Gary Johnson, or write-in Ron Paul.
    1. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
      
      That's because for you, like most of us here, a vote is a matter of principle.
      
      And also because Comet would give you a nasty rash.
    2. Ex nihilo 13 years ago
      
      I will vote for Ron Paul, again, this year. No shower needed on that account.
Ting WOo 13 years ago

OK wow that dude does make a lot of sense.

http://www.real-world-anon.tk
Comcast Sucks 13 years ago

So when Tebow flames out in NY, the GOP can run him for prez?

Granted, I'm an atheist w/ no proverbial dog in the fight, but if it's called "Tebowing" w/o reference to whoever you're supposedly praying to, hasn't Tebow made it about Tebow?
1. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
  
  . . . if it's called "Tebowing" w/o reference to whoever you're supposedly praying to, hasn't Tebow made it about Tebow?
  
  Unless Tebow himself coined that term, then no.
2. Xenocles 13 years ago
  
  I don't think Tebow came up with the label for it, and [citation required] I think he probably doesn't completely approve of the labeling.
  1. Comcast Sucks 13 years ago
    
    Has Tebow come out and objected, or did he play along w/ it at the most recent NFL awards presentation?
    
    Did he tone down doing it when he saw it was being "misinterpreted"?
    1. Xenocles 13 years ago
      
      Why should he change his behavior because the sports media are stupid?
      
      Look, I don't know how the guy feels or what he's done to correct the perception, it's just my feeling about the guy. He seems sincere enough in his faith as it relates to other aspects of his life, so I give him the benefit of the doubt here. That's what the citation required was for.
      1. Comcast Sucks 13 years ago
        
        Why should he change his behavior because the sports media are stupid?
        
        Because his gesture is losing what he claims to be its meaning. It isn't losing what I suspect is its meaning - "hey, look at me, I'm Tim Tebow and I'm better than you".
        
        Almanian 13 years ago
        
        I like the Twebowing. It's fun.
        
        Xenocles 13 years ago
        
        I just don't see why, if his intentions are pure, he should stop. It's between him and his god, if he's out there. You can't change what you do every time a hater makes a comment - down that road lies madness.
        
        FTFY 13 years ago
        
        down that road lies madness moral compromise
        
        If only a few pols sent to DC lasted as long as Tebow has without turning into a whore.
  2. Loki 13 years ago
    
    I don't think Tebow came up with the label for it, and [citation required] I think he probably doesn't completely approve of the labeling.
    
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....49656.html
    
    Fallon asked what the Broncos quarterback makes of the Tebowing sensation, "What do you think of the whole Tebowing thing? I know it's praying, but it's a phenomenon that has caught fire." Laughing and with tongue in cheek, Tebow responded, "I gotta believe I'm probably not the first athlete to get on a knee and pray. Just throwing that out there. But, also on the other hand, the greatest form of flattery is imitating somebody."
3. Socialistic Individual Sparky 13 years ago
  
  TEBOWNED!
  1. Comcast Sucks 13 years ago
    
    You just predicted the NY Post headline the first time Tebow starts and gets the Detroit Lions treatment, w/ pic of him getting creamed by a D lineman.
  2. Almanian 13 years ago
    
    TEPWND!
sarcasmic 13 years ago

Needs more labels. Ten just doesn't cut it.
rather fart in a jar 13 years ago

Fart in a jar mania. Feel the release! Lid the jar! Store for later!
1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  Does that actually work?
  1. anon 13 years ago
    
    It's just nitrogen, co2, methane and o2. I don't see why not.
    1. FTFY 13 years ago
      
      Needs some mercaptans to give it some aroma.
      1. Anomalous 13 years ago
        
        And a little hydrogen sulfide as well.
  2. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
    
    Does that actually work?
    
    I would imagine so. As long as you can form a decent seal between your taintal area and the mouth of the jar, and as long as the jar is truly airtight when lidded, then it shouldn't be a problem.
    1. rather 13 years ago
      
      The why of libertarian isolation
      1. rather fart in a jar 13 years ago
        
        Of course you want to isolate yourself when you do it - who wants to see your ass hanging over a jar.
    2. Restoras 13 years ago
      
      Is there a specially shaped jar available for such a purpose?
      1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
        
        I'm thinking a plastic bag would be the best option, since with a jar you've got to displace air.
        
        Restoras 13 years ago
        
        This is why I come here - I hadn't thought of that.
        
        rather fart in a jar 13 years ago
        
        Plastic bags are not all airtight. Or farttight in this case.
        
        suggestion 13 years ago
        
        fart in the bag, place the bag in a jar
        
        you're welcome
Brian from Texas 13 years ago

I just read an article about the Birthers wanting Romney now to show proof he was born in the USA simply because his father was born in Mexico. My family didn't get off the boat until at least 1700, I guess they'd like to see my birth certificate too if I ever ran for President.
Comcast Sucks 13 years ago

I want to see Mitten's birth certificate just to prove he was born and not built in a lab.
1. Mormon Products United 13 years ago
  
  Every RomneyBot comes with it's own certificate of authenticity.
  1. rather 13 years ago
    
    If Mitt was a lab creation, it would only help his chances
  2. Tim 13 years ago
    
    For here
    am I sitting in my tin can
    Far above the world
    Planet Earth is blue
    And there's nothing I can do
    1. Almanian Vocal Band 13 years ago
      
      Skyyyyyy rockets in flight
      Afternoon deliiiiiight!
      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafternoon delight
      
      /Mitten's Inaugural Ball "Slow Dance"
2. Dr. Noonien Soong 13 years ago
  
  Romney - is he more like Data, or more like Lore? Discuss.
  1. Xenocles 13 years ago
    
    B-4.
    1. Socialistic Individual Sparky 13 years ago
      
      BINGO!
  2. Marc St. Stephen 13 years ago
    
    Data before the election; Lore after.
Suki 13 years ago

Yawn
Tim 13 years ago

Take your protein pills and put yer helmets on.
Comcast Sucks 13 years ago

RealMitt now with your choice of realistic genitalia.
1. db 13 years ago
  
  Black or white? Cut or uncut? Concave or convex? Just what are these options?
Almanian 13 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It's funny because it's TRUE!!

Also: Almanian - 2012

/write-in Presidential Candidate Whoring
squarooticus 13 years ago

This is terrible. Completely un-funny. At this point I'm forced to conclude that Payne has Asperger's and simply doesn't understand humor.

This is like Data trying to write jokes: the ingredients are there, but in a way that entirely neglects the essence of humor.
1. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  The cartoons Reason runs every Friday are never actually funny, Square. This helps weed out the weak and uncommitted, and leaves the herd stronger.
SRH 13 years ago

I heard this morning that Romney and Obama are hard at work positioning themselves to be "just regular folks" so they will be more relatable to the unwashed masses. Exponentially more odorous than fart in a jar.
P Brooks 13 years ago

Needs more labels.

I would especially appreciate it if this cartoon consisted of a label saying,

This Page Intentionally Left Blank
1. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  But it wouldn't actually be blank, then, would it PeeBee?
GroundTruth 13 years ago

Not bad as commentary.
shrike 13 years ago

All Power to the Imagination!
witknee 13 years ago

Why is there dialog in the last panel? The picture is worth at least 42 words.
Jesus H. Christ 13 years ago

This comment intentionally left blank.
Anomalous 13 years ago

This candidate intentionally left blank.
Martin Blank, Gross Pointe 13 years ago
1. Bob diStefalo 13 years ago
  
  I'm drawing a complete...blank!
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mario15 12 years ago

Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge and Green's agent Coach Outlet Online David Falk

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