Penn State

Super Bowl "Ad Leakage" Reaches Joe Paterno-like[*] Levels, Renders Big Game Even Less Fun


Reason contributor and Miami Herald TV critic Glenn Garvin weighs in on what used to be the best part of any Super Bowl (before the Giants beating the Patriots became a regular thing at least):

The Teleflora ad promising that your girlfriend will turn into a hypersexual supermodel if you just send her some flowers? Seen it. The college kid who thinks he's just gotten a Chevy convertible for graduation but really it's a mini-fridge? The Toyota Camry ad featuring a couch made of lingerie models, a poopless baby and a crime-fighting plant? The polar bears fumbling a Coke bottle like a pack of furry Dolphins wide receivers? Seen 'em all.

The ad leakage to the Internet was so profound that the website actually ran a list of ads that weren't released on-line before airing. (The site's name is no exaggeration; it also posted a list of frequently asked questions that started off: Q. What is the Super Bowl? A. A professional football championship game.)

As Garvin notes, it was hard not to see many, maybe most of these ads pre-game:

More than half of the 70-odd ads that aired during Sunday night's Super Bowl telecast had been circulating on the Internet for days or even weeks. At $3.5 million a pop for a 30-second commericial, advertisers want to leverage every eyeball they can—and they've discovered the way to do that is to preview the ads on-line.

Honda's CR-V ad with Matthew Broderick reviving his Ferris Bueller's Day Off character, goofing off from work instead of school? It had already been seen more than 10 million times before game time. No hyperbole — literally, 10 million mouse-clicks on American computers.

More here.

What's interesting about this to me is that for all the talk of the internet segmenting and isolating people, the fact is that it's created whole new audiences and extended the news cycle not just for news but for all sorts of cultural discussions and products. The Soft Launch has replaced the Grand Opening; thanks largely to the computer industry and the web, we expect things to be tested in real-time and go through various versions and iterations on the way to becoming truly useful. That's a good thing, rather than pegging so much of our time and hopes to the equivalent of a Hail Mary pass (sorry, Pats' fans). 

A pet peeve regarding Broderick being used in a car ad: Do Americans really have that short a cultural memory that Matthew Broderick can now pitch autos? In 1987, he killed two people while driving (and not drinking[**]) in Ireland, and was let off with a $175 fine, leading to the memorable New York Post headline "Ferris Bueller Gets Off." He has reportedly made peace with the past and his victims' families, which is all to the good. But it's just kind of weird to see him hawking Hondas.

[*] Joe Pa headline allusion explained.

[**] Corrected dropped word.

In case you're not among the 13 million people who have watched the long version of the Honda ad:

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  1. Who gets on the internet to watch advertisements? This is not a problem in my household.

    1. I AM thinking about getting one of those Ron Paul dolls advertised here @Reason.

      To go with my Jesus figure with “Walk-On-Water Action?”.

      1. I’m selling two new models…..aul-dolls/

    2. Although I do intend to do some significant Internet research on the chick from the fiat commercial.

      1. OMG, fucking wow.


          She’s not on there yet, but I’m sure she will be eventually.

            1. God bless the Internet.

            2. What a porker!

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  2. 1) Don’t now and have never watched the Stoopid Bowl for the ads. Guess I’m old fashioned – I usually just care about the game (although not yesterday).

    2) I had no idea Broderick ran over some unfortunate Micks in his sordid past. So I learned some useless information today.

    Thanks, Nick!

    1. Guess I’m old fashioned – I usually just care about the game (although not yesterday).

      1. Guess I’m old fashioned – I usually just care about the game (although not yesterday).

        < a href=””>U mad, bro?

        Consider a Pats/Giants Superbowl payback for all the obnoxious “Who Dat?” crap we had to suffer through in 2010.

        1. Fucking New Orleans fan squirrels.

          1. If it ain’t the voodoo or the mojo, it’s the gri gri.

            “WHo dat” indeed.

            I’m waiting for the Lions/Browns superbowl. Probably into and past eternity…

            1. Lions are going. Browns, never. At least not until they change the horrible name, and do something about the city. No one worth a damn who has a choice about it is going to pick playing for a team named the BROWNS or in CLEVELAND when there are other choice available to them.

              1. I keed on the city. There are far worse locales to choose from.

              2. Kinda weird their helmets are orange, right? Makes the name make even less sense.

                1. Proprietist|2.6.12 @ 12:06PM|#|show direct|ignore
                  Kinda weird their helmets are orange, right? Makes the name make even less sense.

                  reply to this

                  You’re a moron, moron.

                  1. Ok, sorry.

            2. The first ever overtime Superbowl. Continued indefinitely until the comminsioner finally just agrees that it IS possible for both teams to lose.

          2. Though I’ll just add for honesty sake, he didn’t act like he even felt it. Probably not much going on down there, a, uhm, family trait.

        2. If it helps, I ball popped a cousin who ‘who dat’ one too many times on a visit a some years back with a beer bottle.

          1. Awesome! We called that “the Tap” back in the day.


    2. Matthew Broderick’s car has killed fewer real people than Ted Kennedy’s car.

      1. Are you trying to say that Irish people aren’t real people?

    3. Calling it the “Stoopid Bowl” shows how erudite and elite you are. No, really, let me pass you a PBR and a T-shirt for a band we’ve never heard of.

      1. Calling people stupid on the Internet, as well as using erudite in a mocking fashion, really shows how erudite and elite you are. Really dude, let it go. There’s no need to be a scold.

        1. There’s no need to be a hipster douche.

          DURR STOOPID BOWL AMERICAN IDOL arggle barggle…

          1. So now I’m a hipster douche because you have to be a scold on the Internet? Wow, good job.

            1. I didn’t say you were being one, did I?

  3. Do Americans really have that short a cultural memory that Matthew Broderick can now pitch autos?

    Yes, America has suffered from cultural Alzheimer’s for decades now.

    Quite sad, really.

    1. HM, your oral sex link is to benefit culture? How magnanimous of you!

    2. I was 7 when that happened- so I have NO memory of it whatsoever.

      Also, are we supposed to fawn over celebrities, ignore them, or remember only their crimes.

      1. shit, who did it to you? 😉

        1. I believe I said I have no memory 😉

          1. Well, I didn’t want to pay the book fine; don’t judge me for being cheap

            1. people actually pay fines?

    3. That accident is temporally closer to the Kennedy Assassination than it is to today. So it’s not like it’s really a recent event.

  4. Matthew Broderick is annoying not matter what he’s doing. Why anyone would anyone use his to promote ANYTHING?

    The amount of television advertising minutes is more than double the minutes of television advertising 25 years ago. The sheer amount of advertising has made the commercials so tedious that it is rare to see a memorable commercial during the stupor bowl anymore. The only one I remember was the kid peeing in the pool, and I can’t even remember WHAT was actually being advertised in that spot.

  5. What is there to forgive and forget? Like drone bombed wedding parties, vehicular man slaughter doesn’t matter much when it happens in a foreign country.

    1. ‘s’ on it, what am I Greek? Starting off the daily commentary all wrong.

  6. In 1987, he killed two people while driving (and drinking) in Ireland, and was let off with a $175 fine

    I love how something can justify stomping all over the 4th amendment w/ random roadblocks and also be laughed off when a celeb gets caught.

    1. Uh. Ireland doesn’t have a 4th Amendment. Not sure where you’re going with this.

  7. Most of the ads aren’t entertaining and are kind of pathetic in their desperation to be entertaining, and I think making the ads widely available before the Super Bowl is a bad idea. Though they may be thinking that people are skipping the commercials during the game with the knowledge that they can watch them on the web later, but I think that’s not quite right. People are more likely to want to see them first-run–after all, they’re already sitting in front of the TV.

    Did not know that about Matthew Broderick. Pretty terrible.

    1. Worse was the fawning over the VW ad, and VW *usually* has fairly clever ads.

      IT WASN’T FUNNY OR CLEVER. AT ALL. I swear, it’s like they tossed the campaign to class of 3rd graders. “And then Darf Vader chokes the weird looking guy at the end.” [hysterical laughter]

      1. It’s amazing how poor they usually are, given the expense of the ad space (and of the cost of production for many ads).

        1. Probably the most effective one was the Fiat ad with the smoking hot woman anthropomorphising the car.

          No CGI, no celebrities and I remember every blessed second of that ad.

          I wish they would take the GoDaddy ad team out back and kill them with shovels.

          1. “I wish they would take the GoDaddy ad team out back and kill them with shovels/”

            Dear god yes. Or throw them to a pack of feminists.

          2. Why does Danica Patrick whore herself out like that? She is not a great driver. But she hasn’t embarrassed herself. And she has these great girl next door looks. Who the hell told her it was a good idea to piss away her entire brand looking like a whore in some of the worst commercials ever made?

            1. The first time it was racy, now its just wretched. The ad team just isn’t subtle enough about sex. You can sell it in buckets (see Fiat or Teleflora) but you can’t give it away.

              1. Yeah. The ads look like the old phone sex ads that used to run after midnight in the days before the internet.

            2. See Kournikova, Anna

      2. I liked the Kia commercial with the awesome man dream the best. It was just so over the top it was funny.

        1. That wasn’t bad either.

  8. You might want to revisit your assertion regarding Broderick’s accident. Per the article you linked to, Broderick was not drinking before the accident. Maybe they’ve got it wrong, but I’m assuming that they probably would have mentioned it if he’d been charged with drunk driving.

    1. A quick Google search shows was actually charged with “dangerous driving”…there’s a lot of speculation that he was drunk because he inexplicably swerved into the wrong lane, but there was apparently no evidence that he was driving while impaired.

    2. Not particularly noteworthy in Ireland, is it?

      1. Actually, I lived over in Europe for quite awhile…they’re very strict about drunk driving over there. More so than in the States. The BAC for driving while impaired there is .05%, as opposed to our .08%. And they’re particularly harsh on Americans who drive drunk there (or speed, or get any traffic infractions, as I found out). Figure if Broderick was driving drunk, he’d have done jail time if they had evidence for it.

        1. Yes, I’m aware of that. Guess my drunken Irishman joke failed.

          1. No, it was good…I’m just a literalist to a fault. 🙂

        2. I lived in Great Britain for four years and the accident wasn’t inexplicable at all. Newly arrived American drivers often ended up in the wrong lane, especially when turning onto a street, passing, or on long stretches without oncoming traffic because we’re used to driving on the right side of the road not the left and a lot of driving is not actively thought out but habitual.
          They changed the law, but in the late 80’s early 90’s (when I lived there and Broderick had his accident) we noted that if you wanted to murder someone and get away with it, all you needed to do was run them over with a car. Provided you were stone cold sober, the penalties were ridiculously light, if you were drunk however, they’d bury you alive. In fact, we were told when we arrived that if you had a choice to hit a human or a farm animal to pick the human because the fines were less. (If you hit a cow for example, you owed the value of the cow and it’s lifetime of milk production AND the value of it’s potential offspring AND their milk production.)

  9. A pet peeve regarding Broderick being used in a car ad: Do Americans really have that short a cultural memory that Matthew Broderick can now pitch autos? In 1987, he killed two people while driving (and drinking) in Ireland, and was let off with a $175 fine

    Hundreds of thousands of Americans voted to make Ted Kennedy a presidential nominee eighteen years later. The answer to your question is ‘yes’.

  10. It wassad to realize that Broderick is pathetically middle aged and tired looking, then it got much worse when I realized that I am too.

    1. start regular exercise, stretch n flex, ride ur bike

  11. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is an overrated crap fest of a movie about a narcissistic little bastard who ruins his friend’s life and destroys a beautiful car.

    That is all.

    1. It’s no The Blues Brothers (the pinnacle of Chicago-based movies), but it’s not crap. Too bad about the car, though.

      1. I hate it. It is not funny. And the ending is terrible. Cameron’s life is over. His dad will never forgive him destroying the car. He just gave his father a justification for hating him the rest of his life.

        Bueller is a manipulative sociopath. He turns everyone in the movie for his own narcissistic end. A comedy, as a general rule, shouldn’t have have a horrible unlikable protagonist, unless it is a black comedy which FBDO is not.

        1. “I do have a test today. That wasn’t bullshit. It’s on European socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any “ism” for that matter. “Isms” in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an “ism”, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off of people.”

          1. Charlie Sheen getting Jennifer Grey to go all googly was my favorite part.

            OH! And, “Do you want some Gummy Bears? They’re warm….” *barf but LOL!*

            1. Grey played the cute high school chick well. She was the one character in the movie I liked.

        2. Nah, he was just trying to get Cameron to lighten up and to grow some balls with his dad. It was him or the Ferrari, and the Ferrari had to go.

        3. No accounting for taste. People being oblivious assholes is the basis for a lot of comedy.

        4. “He turns everyone in the movie for his own narcissistic end.”

          The first step to figuring out your life is to realize that everyone exists to advance my desires. Then you can enjoy things like that. Have you ever seen Funny Games?

        5. Totally disagree.

          By giving him nowhere to hide, Ferris forced Cameron to grow up.

          1. Growing up would have required Cameron to tell Ferris to go fuck himself we are not taking my dad’s car. How is Cameron grown up at the end?

        6. A comedy, as a general rule, shouldn’t have have a horrible unlikable protagonist

          He’s only unlikable when you think deeply about it. Sort of like Jerry Seinfeld’s character, and all of the characters on that show, is really a horrid person. During the movie you like him.

        7. He just gave his father a justification for hating him the rest of his life.

          Cameron’s dad already hated him and probably would for the rest of his life anyway.

    2. Hey! I liked it!

      Except for the whole killing the Ferrari and ruining his friend’s life, as you noted…

    3. Actually the friend is the one who pushed the car out the window. And it was an unauthorized replica.

  12. Clicked on the link regarding Broderick’s accident. The article clearly states that Broderick had NOT been drinking when the accident happened, so I don’t know why Nick would word this in a way that makes it seem like he did.

    Anyway, releasing the ads early both increased the hype–this Broderick ad was mentioned on almost all talk shows before the Super Bowl–AND helped people know/remember what was actually being sold. Normally I don’t remember who aired what ad, but I DO now know that Broderick’s ad was for Honda because I had seen it several times and shown it to several people before it even aired.

    1. Probably because it was widely speculated at the time that he was drunk, but since it happened overseas in the pre-Internet era most people forgot about the story pretty quickly. I remember it when it happened…the story wasn’t considered a major scandal. Probably because non-drunk driving fatalities for celebrities aren’t particularly salacious…anyone can get into a traffic accident or lose control of their car, even if they’re sober.

    2. I don’t know why Nick would word this in a way that makes it seem like he did

      Internet journalism has much lower standards than legitimate journalism, and the kids seem to like it that way.

  13. I got so much shit done last night. I can pretty much relax for probably two weeks now thanks to not watching a fucking pussy ass NFL game. I saw kickoff and then tuned out about two minutes later when they explained the fag football rules about never being able to touch a receiver or quarterback.

    1. u mad, bro?

    2. They actually called it pretty lose. And it was a very physical hard hitting game. It was a good game. 21-17 is a good score for a football game. Not a track meet and good defense being played but not a disgraceful offensive incompetence fest like the two Alabama LSU games this year.

      1. One reason I can’t watch college football, the mistakes due to incompetence are so very many. It just kills me. There are many in the NFL, of course, and they are even more inexcusable due to the fact the players are paid, but the college games are defined by the incompetence factor.

        1. Not the well played ones. The LSU Alabama games just gave all football a bad name this year.

          But yes, there are generally more inexplicable mistakes in college football. That makes it more fun because entertaining things happen in college that almost never happen in the NFL.

          1. there’s also moar awesome, cant-happen, gee-whiz, lets-try-this type plays…because the college players dont know yet that they cant do that

          2. That’s crap. They both had great defenses and average (at best) offenses. No team was going to score much on either.

            Incidentally, they both were blowing out most of their opposition, for what that’s worth (esp. LSU).

            1. It is not crap. Both offenses were inept. Last night was an example of two defenses playing well but the offenses still being competent. It was a track meet. But the offenses still executed enough to score some TDS. No competent offense should be totally shut out on the end zone no matter how good the defense is. They might not score a lot but they should score some.

              I really think those are the two weakest teams to play for a national title in my life time. I have never seen two teams so devoid of offensive talent, especially on the LSU side. Alabama at least had a couple of very good lineman and Trent Richardson.

              1. They scored all over most of their other opponents, so they didn’t have awful offenses. They had great defenses. Naturally, that’s going to make any offense look poor. That’s what great defenses do.

                1. Alabama had a very slow secondary. They were so lucky to get to play LSU, a team that had no QB and no dangerous receiver, twice.

            2. Im not sure Alabama had a great defense. They couldnt even stop Ga Southern.

              1. It ain’t college if there isn’t a hiccup. That was just a bad, bad game.

                1. Shockingly Pro, that game was the result of Alabama’s defense not being as fast as it has been in the past. In the past, Alabama had NFL caliber DBs. They didn’t this year. Georgia Southern ran the option. And you have to have a lot of speed to defend the option. GSU’s small fast guys ran circles around Alabama’s big slow guys.

                  1. If that were true, Alabama would’ve been lit up more than once by better teams.

    3. Enjoyed the rant, but it was a good game.

  14. Contrary to your piece, the source article in the NY Post you linked indicated Matthew Broderick had not been drinking – “The actor – who had not been drinking – spent four weeks in a Belfast hospital with a fractured leg and ribs, collapsed lung and concussion. Grey escaped with minor injuries.”

    Seems like you should tone down your indignation and get your story straight.

  15. If Broderick can get in that bad an accident WITHOUT being drunk, it’s even MORE shameful.


    1. If I recall the incident correctly, all the other drivers in Ireland were driving on the wrong side of the road. Hard to avoid accidents when that occurs.

      1. 8o

        I’m not ashamed to admit, that made me lol

      2. We asked our cabbie in Scotland on one trip over if they had many yanks and other tourists rent cars.

        He said, “Yes. We call them ‘head-on collisions.” lulz!

        1. I think I’d do fine driving on the left except for turning right. Even as a passenger, it always seems really weird to me when in left driving places to make big wide right turns.

          1. They solved that problem with the fucking round-abouts 😉

            1. When I drove in England, the only parts that I had a hard time with at all were (1) working the stickshift (I kept the punching the door because my right hand is programmed to shift) and (2) the roundabouts (for some reason, that’s the only place that the whole back-asswards driving on the wrong side messed me up).

              1. I’ve done enough roundabouts in England and Ireland that they don’t bother me any more. It’s the occasional roundabout in France that really fucks me up now.

                1. Look kids, Big Ben!!!!!

                2. “It’s the occasional roundabout in France that really fucks me up now.”

                  You should see people encounter either of the two in Tallahassee. I learned roundabout etiquette in Central America, so I just kind of bomb through them with only a cursory glance instead of stopping and looking both ways. It really seems to fuck with people.

  16. add to things I don’t care about list.

    1. I understand why people think ads are shallow, because most of them are and awful as well, but I have great respect for the ad (wo)men who can pull it off.

      They have to:

      1. Attract your attention
      2. Keep your attention by making the ad entertaining
      3. Successfully deliver the message
      4. Deliver the message so you remember it correctly
      5. Do it in 30 seconds, usually.

      That takes talented balls.

      1. They mostly fail. I can’t tell you how many ads I watch, and am entertained by, but can’t remember the company two minutes later.

  17. I demand a hat tip!

    Do I deserve one? Probably not. Would one even make sense here? Not really. But still…

    1. You gotta be “beloved” to get hat tips around here.

  18. And really if there was a single great moment in the ads this year, it was Betty White saying “my eyes are here”. That was pretty good.

    1. Eeewwwww.

      I skipped most of the ads, so I missed that one.

      1. You leave Betty alone.

        1. Johnny Longtorso got to you, didn’t he?

          1. Who’s got two thumbs and loves the Golden Girls? THIS GUY.

    2. The two ads that were most memorable and funny were the Betty White part of that ad and the yogurt commercial where the wife headbutts the husband. Loved that one.

    3. I thought the Doritos ad with the dog was the best. When he slides the Doritos bag over with the note “You didn’t see nuthin'”, I LOLed.

  19. The parodies on the apocalypse ad is going to be worth every penny Ford did not spend

  20. Don’t forget about the collective ignorance of the masses when Budweiser showed their “Prohibition is over!” commercial. That was the only thing I bothered to post on facebook during the game, how disappointing such shortsightedness is. Only got 1 like.

  21. Hey, I heard somewhere that Ferris Bueller wasn’t really drunk when he killed those people. Get your facts straight.

    1. I’m glad someone finally spoke up about that.

      1. Why I am reminded of the comment/adage some genius once said: The best way to find things out on the Internet is not to ask questions. It’s to post an inaccurate assertion and then wait for the corrections.

        1. Way to mis-quote someone, dumbass.

          1. I trust one of you geniuses will google up the quote and correct me. In fact, I’m relying on it. Why should I remember useless crap accurately when I have people like you around to do it for me?

            1. You don’t you just go google yourself!

              1. I’m harnessing the power of pedantry for my own nefarious ends. You, of all people, should approve.

  22. *throws flaming bag of dog poop on Rev Blue Moan’s lawn*

    1. Damn kids! *Shakes Broderick-damaged Shillelagh*

  23. How the NSX commercial had freakin’ Leno, car lover or not, swooping in to get the car is something I’ll never understand… which probably explains why I am not in advertising.

    Clearly, the answer was to have Newman get the first car so Seinfeld could end the commercial with a “Newman!”

    1. Watching that commercial, suddenly the decision to set Crises 2 in Manhattan made sense to me.

    2. I thought the whole ad was just a little too self-referential/ironic.

      Do you really want to pitch a Superbowl ad exclusively to hardcore Seinfeld fans? Because if you’re not one of those, the whole ad must have been kind of pointless.

      1. Why not? Ad space during the shows run was the highest of its era. Surely there is money to be made by the same demographic that is more than a decade older.

        What about the hard core polar bear fans? Why would you pitch to those people. Annoying ass polar bears. Those ads should come with a warning so little Inuit children who watch them wont get eaten when they mistake the real ones for the friendly ones on television.

      2. Do you really want to pitch a Superbowl ad exclusively to hardcore Seinfeld fans?

        That’s a pretty gottdamn big demographic.

        I haven’t watched Seinfeld in years, but I got the ad.

      3. I thought the whole ad was just a little too self-referential/ironic.

        What did you want, a commercial about nothing?

        1. What you did there…

      4. It is a 100K sports car RC. The only people with the money to buy one are old enough to know who Seinfeld and probably white and liked the show. Fuck the yutes, they are not the market for the car.

  24. Bueller is a manipulative sociopath.

    Ferris Bueller was really a biography of Newt Gangrinich?

  25. That was the first time I had seen the new NSX Batmobile.

    It’s probably a bitchin car dynamically, but it looks like a Cadillac, and that ain’t good.

  26. I really don’t get that commercial. Ferris Bueller with thinning hair and bags under his eyes made me feel more old than nostalgic.

    And people outside my age cohort won’t get the reference in all likelihood.

    1. He looks terrible. Him and Seinfeld both are aging very badly. And just think that is with camera lighting and makeup. How old must he look in person. I can’t believe he looks that old. He can’t be more than 50 or so.

      1. It’s what being married to Sarah Jessica Parker does to a man.

        1. Contantly having to worry if you’re being cuckolded by Mr. Ed drains a man of life.

        2. Something about ugly girls though make you assume they give great oral to compensate for their deficiencies.

      2. He’s 49. Seinfeld is 57.

      3. Seinfeld was 37 when his show debuted… people for some reason think he was thirtysomething the whole time. In reality, he was well into middle age when the final episode aired.

  27. Wait- I knew what’s-is-name, Seinfeld, was SOMEBODY, and I know who Leno is; was there somebody else in that NSX ad I was supposed to recognize?

  28. Dead horse beating:

    I couldn’t pay attention the commercial at all because I was overwhelmed with how old Broderick looked. I mean, look at the picture up there, he looks like he’s picking up his grandkids from school. It just made me depressed.

    1. Also, he wasn’t charged with drunk driving in Ireland.

  29. Oh, and the commercial with the rappers using ‘She Sold Sanctuary’. Criminally offensive. Some of us got our first periods to that song.

    1. That was really bad.

    2. I saw that ad and thought of all the kids who wouldn’t know that the music was from a “really old” song.

  30. I guess no one else noticed the Toyota ad where they reinvented everything, even with such amazing talents, they couldn’t fix the fact that the DMV employee still had a fake smile and was very surly. That alone made it my favorite. Many things can be corrected or improved, but government “services” will always be garbage.

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