Newt Gingrich

Rick Perry Dropping Out

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"And I'm gonna cut THREE departments from the federal government…."

And then there were four:

Rick Perry is telling supporters that he will drop his bid Thursday for the Republican presidential nomination, two sources familiar with his plans told CNN.

And he's endorsing Newt Gingrich. Announcement scheduled for 11 a.m. South Carolina time.

Reason on the startlingly poor presidential campaigner here.

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  1. First!

      1. Fist!

        1. Eww.

  2. I heard he was endorsing three alternatives to Mitt romeny, but could only remember one of their names.

    1. but no cigar

      1. The presidential pens will do!

  3. deuces

  4. Second look?

  5. He was probably the best of any of the front-runners in terms of Bad Lip Reading videos.

  6. You think Perry would have caught on with the pro-secession Bob Jones crowd. He said all the crazy-ass things they love to hear.

    1. I’ll Jones your Bob

  7. Looks like Newt is the fallback of social conservatives and Mitt is the ever-popular centrist. Santorum will be next. And once we get even closer to the GOP convention, I’m sure Newt will cede to Romney, as well. That leaves a whole hell of a lot of people to can’t stand Romney that might just go for Paul.

    1. Your optimism is adorable

      1. Optimism? It’s called realism. The political thing to do is quit when your chance of winning is gone. Paul didn’t last time, and won’t. Newt will drop out after the last primary at the latest. This leaves Mitt Romney or Ron Paul at the convention. I don’t think that Ron Paul would win, but he could. But it will certainly be only the two of them at the convention.

      2. I’m pretty sure the socons will bite the turd and vote for Romney if it comes down to just him and Paul. For them, war is the ultimate religion, and even though they align better with Paul in the Christianity camp, that will never outweigh their desire to kill MOOOSSSSLLIMZ to avenge the deaths of New Yorkers and overpaid Federal bureaucrats they would have never met anyway. Oh and a good 10-50% of them might have to look for work if pointless(profitable?) war ceased. Frankly, most of them should be fixing cars, flipping burgers, and turning tricks anyway.

        1. I dunno. I lurked around FR a little and I saw a few comments that said if it came down to it – Ron Paul gets their vote. They hate Romney THAT much.

    2. If they all endorse Newt Bitchtits, and Bitchtits then endorses Romney, does that work kind of the same way as the old saying that when you bang someone you are having sex with everyone else they fucked?

      1. Just because they endorse someone doesnt mean their ex supporters will.

  8. Very bizarre timing. I was assuming Perry was staying in the race to help split the anti-Romney vote. If that wasn’t the case, why did he hang around after New Hampshire?

    1. It’s a mystery.

      John?

      1. He thought he might get a second wind. Look at Newkular Bitchtits, after all.

        Although I’m really, really hoping that the Revenge of the Second Ex-Wife will do him in. Its positively Greek, what with nemesis and tragedy and all that.

        1. Dude. Oh, my God. She’s Newt’s mother.

          1. I thought that was his first wife.

            Newt’s a despicable person. And probably a pretty shitty politician.

    2. This is the guy who had trouble conjuring up three departments he’d like to shitcan. I don’t think we can assume his actions result from any rational thought processes.

  9. I found the timing of this announcement very strange as well. Perry was convinced that South Carolina would “understand” him more so than Iowa and New Hampshire. Santorum really cut into his evango-tard vote.

  10. Still waiting for John’s analysis…

    1. Being a stalker sucks when the object of your obsession lets you down.

  11. As a long-time Texas resident, Perry’s disappointing performance in the cmapiagn is no surprise. He never had to campaign well to get elected governor, so he didn’t know how. He’s an electoral fluke because everybody from the GOP that ran against him in the primary was much worse or a complete nobody. I mean, seriously, Kay Bailey Hutchison? And who remembers the midget collection in the primaries from ’06?

    And barring some major shift or freak event in this state, a donk isn’t getting elected to governor any time soon.

    1. Country singer Kinky Friedman ran a better campaign than Perry in ’06 and did pretty well.

      1. If by ‘did pretty well’ you mean lost, then sure. Perry still won that race against 3 opponents and did next to no work.

  12. Whom is Rick Perry flipping off?

    1. One is for you and one is for the horse you rode in on.

  13. question is will perry’s piss-poar debates effect his re-election in TX?

    1. he doesn’t face re-election until 2014. And hopefully after 14 years, he’ll move on and Texas can find another good hair piece.

  14. Well Perry’s out and Santorum’s flailing.

    After Florida, its Newt, Paul and Romney.

    After Super Tuesday, Newt will concede and Paul and ROmney will play the delegate adding game.

  15. With Perry out, that should give Romney, Gingrich, and Santorum more debate time tonight. Ron Paul will get his usual 30 seconds.

  16. For them, war is the ultimate religion

    War, and unfettered police power at home. For the children.

  17. I’ve got my fingers crossed that the former Missus Gangrinich Douchebag will have some interesting revelations about his finances.

    I ask again: Are former Congresspersons immune from insider trading laws? Because there are few things which could please me more than Newt Kuan Yew getting perp-walked by the FBI and SEC.

  18. Perry probably hoped he’d get a spike in SC after spending a lot of money and maybe (ha!) a good debate performance Monday. Those aren’t materializing, so he doesn’t feel like wasting time in another debate. Same thing happened with Huntsman last Sunday.

  19. Looks like I am going to lose a scotch. No way Paul beats Romney in SC. Newt votes aren’t going to go to Paul, Perry votes aren’t going to go to Paul, I think Santorum an Romney pull second and first BUT in a tighter than expected race.

    1. Gingrich is going to with SC.

      1. I think it depends how much the SC folk care about his ex’s interview. My bet was based on a split field in a state the universally disliked Romeny BUT, poeple prefer to vote with a “winner” and that is a strong attraction.

        1. I dunno, it seems like SC is wanting to coalesce behind a single not-Romney now, as Santorum seems to be fading and it’s too late to turn back around to him. I see it being, in order, Gingrich, Romney, Paul, Santorum. And then Santorum will drop out and the last three will battle it out for a few months. I think Gingrich winning is the best result for Paul, as it disrupts Romney’s easy path and hopefully keeps things interesting for a while yet.

          1. Agreed, Paul’s previous attacks on Gingrich were quite effective in Iowa. Both Gingrich and Romney are extremely flawed candidates.

            Santorum is certainly the worst candidate, but unfortunately to the GOP base he looks like the all-American family man who didn’t happen to pass proto-Obamacare – and also wants to deport all the illegals (especially the gay illegals) and turn Iran into a parking lot (wanting anything less is un-American).

            Unfortunately, being marginally less corrupt and significantly less seedy than Gingrich, less amorphous and compromising than Romney, and radically more hawkish than Paul, and being more homophobic than all three combined is a winning message with much of the GOP base. I still worry that it’s possible he’d be the nominee if Gingrich drops out first and endorses him, say, if this interview causes Newt to underperform in SC and we see Santorum surge to 2nd in FL.

            Still, I don’t see how he beats Obama. Liberals and independents won’t buy what he’s selling, no matter how incompetent and abusive Obama is.

    2. Paul had already pretty much written off SC and FL, right? So to come in third- and not that far behind- isn’t so bad.

      1. I think he’s competing in South Carolina some, since he can score some delegates there, but yeah definitely not wasting resources in Florida.

  20. Perry’s someone who thought the field would open up to him and he could walk into the white house. I’m sure that’s what his advisors said. Isn’t that what the Fred Thompson thought last time?

    1. Can someone tell me how John Fucking McCain got the nomination last time? I truely dont understand that.

      1. Veteran hero, “his turn”, looks different enough from Bush to distract independents and the media. Decent numbers against Obama and Hillary. Would have won too, had the economy not tanked in the midst of his campaign after he admitted he didn’t know anything about that thing. Palin certainly didn’t help him with independents either.

      2. Look at who is left this time? McCain would still be the better choice.

  21. The ‘second wind’ theory for sticking it out seems probable but I always think there is a consolation prize offered for Miss Congeniality

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