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Culture

The Devil Inside

Satan's talk show

Kurt Loder | 1.6.2012 12:00 PM

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It's good to see a return of old-school hype and hustle to the crappy-movie business. William Castle would certainly be pleased. The late producer was a master of this sort of thing, amping up the crowds at his cheapo horror films—The Tingler, Mr. Sardonicus—by slapping buzzers under the seats and stationing nurses at the door to deal with anyone overcome by fright (as if anyone ever was). Golden days, those were.

The Castle spirit was briefly fanned back to life at the screening I saw last night of The Devil Inside. Filing in, the audience was greeted by a heavily equipped DJ down front, booming out hip-hop hits and encouraging everyone to Twitter out reactions to the upcoming film while it was running. Then five amusingly solemn men dressed as priests paraded in. One of them stepped forth to address the crowd, telling us grimly that we had "made the choice to be here," and that "I do not endorse seeing this movie." Then, oh Lord, the movie began.

The Devil Inside is an unholy mashup of The Exorcist (yes, yet another demonic-possession flick) and The Blair Witch Project (yes, yet another shaky-cam "found footage" annoyance). The movie is so tritely predictable you could improvise it at home with some friends without even bothering to see it. Which I would recommend.

The story can be swiftly summarized. In 1989, an American woman named Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) flips out—writhing and frothing and cursing in tongues, that sort of thing. A team of exorcists—two priests and a nun—is dispatched from the Catholic Church's top-secret exorcism school in Rome. Maria reduces them to lunch meat, is tried for murder, declared insane, and shipped off to a mental asylum—again, in Rome. (Don't ask why; I didn't bother.)

Twenty-some years later, Maria's now-grown daughter, Isabella (Fernanda Andrade), arrives in Rome with a cameraman she has retained to shoot a documentary about her flipped-out mom. They make their way to that top-secret exorcism school (which is located rather openly right inside the Vatican) and there recruit two priests—well, "ordained exorcists" (Simon Quarterman and Evan Helmuth)—to assist in paying a visit to the asylum where her mother resides. This doesn't go well. Maria flips out even further, twisting and raving and hurling one of the priests across the room. In the midst of this commotion—forgive them, Billy Friedkin!—she even hisses, "The pig is mine!"

The "twist" on these familiar proceedings is that Maria is possessed, not by one demon, but by three or four of the little rascals. And they have the novel ability to slither from one person to another through simple physical contact. This is all you need to know to remain unsurprised for the rest of the movie.

The film is a brazen audience cheat. Although its trailer would seem to promise a nail-chewing thriller, the picture is in fact very talky, with much discussion of Church hypocrisy, demonic arcana, documentary camera strategies, and whatnot. And the action, whenever it does erupt, can't really shake the proceedings awake because we've seen it all—all—before. My screening audience, fully primed at the outset, was reduced by the film's outrageously limp conclusion to howls of angry disbelief. And they were seeing this thing for free.

At least the price was right.

Kurt Loder is a writer living in New York. His third book, a collection of film reviews called The Good, the Bad and the Godawful, is now available. Follow him on Twitter at kurt_loder.


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Kurt Loder is a New York writer who also hosts the SiriusXM interview show True Stories.

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  1. SugarFree   13 years ago

    And they have the novel ability to slither from one person to another through simple physical contact.

    Nope. Fallen

    So it's pretty much all rip-off.

    1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

      The devil inside
      The devil inside
      Every single one of us the devil inside

      Here come the world
      With the look in its eye
      Future uncertain but certainly slight
      Look at the faces
      Listen to the bells
      It's hard to believe we need a place called hell

      1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

        You can't go right with a title that invokes an INXS song.

        1. SugarFree   13 years ago

          INXS? Is that some like super-old boomer band? Why not more AFI lyrics? Or Matt and Kim? Like something from this century, grandpa!

          1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

            Oh, hush.

            What's the difference between Duran Duran and INXS?

            1. SugarFree   13 years ago

              Duran Duran just wore their scarfs.

            2. Warty   13 years ago

              Is it that the Duran Duran singer's still alive? Should we fix that?

            3. sarcasmic   13 years ago

              I'm pretty sure none of the members of Duran Duran were found dead hanging by their neck with their pants down and semen on the floor.

              1. ?   13 years ago

                found dead hanging by their neck with their pants down and semen on the floor

                The ultimate fate of half the commentators here.

            4. Episiarch   13 years ago

              How dare you compare Duran Duran to INXS! Blasphemy!

              Remember when I asked Neil what the best Duran Duran song was? Good times.

              1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

                The only song of theirs that I like at all is "A View to a Kill."

                1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

                  What about "Hungry Like the Wolf"?
                  Come on!

                  1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

                    Um, no.

                    1. SugarFree   13 years ago

                      Um, no.

                      You've gone too far this time.

                    2. Episiarch   13 years ago

                      Uh, Rio? Girls of Film? Notorious?

                      You sicken me, ProL.

                    3. Episiarch   13 years ago

                      Girls on Film. Sorry.

                      And that's pretty good, NutraSweet.

                    4. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

                      What are you, a chick? No man is a Duran Duran fan. I mean, really.

                    5. Episiarch   13 years ago

                      You're a fool, ProL. Besides, you liked Wham!, so don't give me shit.

                    6. sarcasmic   13 years ago

                      Besides, you liked Wham!

                      gay

                    7. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

                      Nice try, but no. Hated Wham.

                    8. sarcasmic   13 years ago

                      Hated Wham.

                      straight

                    9. SugarFree   13 years ago

                      I always thought that "Wild Boys" was their best song, while "Girls On Film" summed up their body of work in a more representative way.

                    10. Episiarch   13 years ago

                      I vote for "The Reflex" as the best song, but yes, "Girls on Film" was what they were about. Having girlfriends who were models kind of cinches that.

                    11. SugarFree   13 years ago

                      I didn't like INXS much at the time, but they have grown on me over the years. "The One Thing" has that terrific riff, "The Devil Inside" has a great foreboding presence. Although, "Don't Change"--while an obscure minor hit--is my current favorite single.

                    12. Episiarch   13 years ago

                      INXS has never grown on me, but I also haven't tried them very much. I just found them boring.

                    13. Krotchety Kristen   13 years ago

                      SugarFree|1.6.12 @ 1:16PM|#
                      I always thought that "Wild Boys" was their best song, while "Girls On Film" summed up their body of work in a more representative way.

                      reply to this
                      Episiarch|1.6.12 @ 1:20PM|#
                      I vote for "The Reflex" as the best song, but yes, "Girls on Film" was what they were about. Having girlfriends who were models kind of cinches that.

                      Y'all should really expand your knowledge of their discograhy before nominating those songs. "Songs I've heard of" /= "best songs"

                      Secret Oktober, Faster Than Light, Lonely in Your Nightmare all far outstrip the ones you listed.

                    14. sarcasmic   13 years ago

                      Oh well. It's the only song of theirs that I like.

                      I did end up watching Behind the Music or something on VH1 about them not too long ago, and was surprisingly impressed. It didn't make me like their music any more, but I did actually come to respect them as a band.

                  2. Mint Berry Crunch   13 years ago

                    "Hungry Like the Wolf" is automatically cool because it was used in Hot Dog - The Movie.

                    1. Rev. Blue Moon   13 years ago

                      No love for "Electric Barbarella"?

                    2. Devil's Advocate   13 years ago

                      I pretty much like all Duran Duran's videos (back when song videos were still interesting). Some of their songs I like more than others, but they always managed to put out a decent dance tune.

            5. Krotchety Kristen   13 years ago

              The Man Who Stole a Leopard. Fucking. Rocks.

              And I would still fuck the bejeebus out of Simon Lebon, 25 years after I first creamed myself over him.

              1. Devil's Advocate   13 years ago

                OMG yes. >_>

              2. Rev. Blue Moon   13 years ago

                25 years after I first creamed myself over him.

                Was he into that kind of thing?

                1. Krotchety Kristen   13 years ago

                  Was he into that kind of thing?

                  I'd say

  2. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Devil Inside

    Another victim of autoerotique affixation.

    1. R C Dean   13 years ago

      I ain't clicking that link, but autoerotique affixation sounds like something involving a French car and superglue.

      1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        The link is safe. It's just the video for the song.

      2. V   13 years ago

        It means getting off by choking yourself. Its dangerous, obviously.

        1.   13 years ago

          It did kill Bill.

        2. R C Dean   13 years ago

          Choking yourself =/= "affixation".

          1. Agammamon   13 years ago

            depends on how you use the stickers

  3. R C Dean   13 years ago

    Even if its the greatest story, with the greatest acting, since Citizen Kane, if they use the fucking shaky-cam I. Will. Not. Watch. It.

    1. Bones   13 years ago

      Ro-oh-oh-se...bu-uh-uh-ud. Fuck that shit.

    2. Tim Cavanaugh   13 years ago

      The funny thing about shakycam is that it's supposed to make the movie look more "real" and documentary-like, but it hit the big time just as high production values hit the documentary genre. I can't remember the last time I saw an actual documentary that had shakycam.

      1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

        It's a little nauseating.

        1. ?   13 years ago

          Same here. I can't take those cyclo-360 movie things at Disney World, either.

      2. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        Two words: Blair Witch

        1. SugarFree   13 years ago

          J-J-J-JOSH!

          1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

            One thing about Blair Witch--it generated a huge laugh one time when my brother stood in the corner of an elevator once. You had to be there.

      3. Paul   13 years ago

        I can't remember the last time I saw an actual documentary that had shakycam.

        My memory may be failing me, but Catfish?

        Although the only shaky-cam parts were where they were walking with the camera. So, yeah, probably so.

  4. Joe M   13 years ago

    I couldn't even finish watching the trailer.

  5. Hazel Meade   13 years ago

    Watch 'The Troll Hunter'.

    It's a "found footage" example, but not so shaky, really. They manage to keep the camera steady enough to avoid motion sickness, while maintaining realism.

    More importantly, the story line is basically that trolls are real, along with much of the troll-based fairy-tale mythology, and the government is running a secret coverup operation in Norway. Sort of a horror-comedy version of Blair Witch.

    1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

      I'm going to release a movie filmed entirely by cell phone.

      1. Paul   13 years ago

        Already done with Clerks.

    2. Paul   13 years ago

      Hmm, this one actually looks interesting.

  6. Res Publica Americana   13 years ago

    Yeah, I'll just re-watch 'The Exorcist'.

  7. Paul   13 years ago

    The Blair Witch Project (yes, yet another shaky-cam "found footage" annoyance)

    Blair Witch was one of the earlier (first?)* found footage movies and was pretty good. All those that followed became the annoyance.

    *I'm sure that uber film buffs will be happy to direct me to earlier 'found footage' examples, but Blair Witch was the first one anyone actually saw.

    1. ?   13 years ago

      I think he meant "...The Exorcist (yes, [the Devil Inside is] yet another demonic-possession flick) and The Blair Witch Project (yes, [the Devil Inside is ]yet another shaky-cam "found footage" annoyance)."

    2. Episiarch   13 years ago

      You're completely wrong, Paul, sorry. The original horror "found footage" film is Cannibal Holocaust. Blair Witch was a terrible, piece of shit ripoff.

      1. Paul   13 years ago

        *I'm sure that uber film buffs will be happy to direct me to earlier 'found footage' examples, but Blair Witch was the first one anyone actually saw

        1. Episiarch   13 years ago

          Plenty of people saw it, Paul.

          1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

            To be fair, you can't prove that people bought those tickets. Could've been robots, aliens, or, perhaps, very intelligent chimpanzees.

      2. Paul   13 years ago

        Oh, and the real piece of shit "found footage" was Coverfield. So much potential, so wasted...

      3. Nooge   13 years ago

        Turtle, anyone?

    3. Zeb   13 years ago

      What about Cannibal Holocaust?

    4. Warty   13 years ago

      Hey, I head that Cannibal Holocaust was cool.

    5. ?   13 years ago

      So how come when you do a google image search for "cannibal holocaust" with safesearch set to "strict" you get a whole bunch of pictures of people being eviscerated, women impaled on stakes and so forth, but you do a search for "blowjob" you get "you search - blowjob - did not match any documents"?

      1. Normal Guy   13 years ago

        I wouldn't know.
        SugarFree?

      2. Agammamon   13 years ago

        'Cause this is America and we think its better kids see images of brutality and mutilation than boobies.

  8. first   13 years ago

    Keity is one of the top models from Brazil and it is instantly obvious that the title is well deserved.
    .

    SHE HAS a classic body, raven black hair, big luscious eyes, and a sensual voice to complete the picture. At only 21 years of age she claims to have had enough of boyfriends and wants to spend time focusing on her modeling career. She knows when its time to get down to business and doesn't have room for men who only get in her way.

    Petter spent an entire day shooting with Keity while visiting Florianopolis. Posing next to gigantic trees and wide open spaces one is instantly reminded of a modern Amazon, strong and demanding of our attention.

    Keity has the kind of body that rivals the grand nature of any landscape and is a true example of the beauty one can only find in Brazil.

    http://www.hegre-art.com/models#action=show&id=97

    1. Geoff Nathan   13 years ago

      Err... You might have used the 'nsfw' tag. Fortunately nobody was near my office door when I made the mistake of clicking...
      And it had the 'back' button disabled.

      1. ?   13 years ago

        Your desk is pointed the wrong way.

        And who wears the pants, you or the back button?

        1. Geoff Nathan   13 years ago

          I guess I've learned the answer to that question. Sigh...

          1. first   13 years ago

            Sorry did I miss something what is the ansewer to that question?

        2. first   13 years ago

          Exactly and how does someone disable the back button anyway.

          1. Geoff Nathan   13 years ago

            I don't know, but I don't design web pages or speak php. All I know is that sometimes 'back' buttons don't work and it's usually because the owner wants you to stay there.

            1. Geoff Nathan   13 years ago

              Just googled and found instructions for how to do it in asp. So I didn't invent it...

              1. first   13 years ago

                Link or you're making up shit.

            2. first   13 years ago

              Okay, well I can assure you that Hegre art does not do this.

      2. first   13 years ago

        Honestly I don't know what you where expecting based on that description and the fact that we're on the internet.

        1. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

          Lula is a top Brazilian model - scandalous, wildly popular and with large ambitions. There are a brazillion reasons to love Lula!

          http://bit.ly/yyXOun

  9. Dave Mustaine   13 years ago

    Not my best photo, I admit.

    1. PaulR   13 years ago

      You deserve it. Arrogant egotistical drunk.

  10. Hooker   13 years ago

    Another movie about possession and exorcism. Seen it. Thanks anyway.

  11. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

    Watch it...the power of crap compels you!

  12. Joe Andrews   13 years ago

    It's funny how critics feel so powerful making their "intelligent" analysis of movies. What counts is the bottom line, and millions of people who dont give a s. about critics are watching it, so just accept that they (the people) have the final say, and I'd say 35M in 3 days says enough.

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  29. samr   10 years ago

    I just realized this was written in 2002. I wonder what the gun crime rate is now. Any government that tells you that you have no right to self defense is not looking after your best interest. Self defense is the most basic right anyone has. No government or police can protect you. I can't believe you all allow this to continue. I keep a gun at home for self defense and have a license to carry it concealed any where I go. And I do. If I am attacked then at least I have a chance to stay alive. By the time the police arrive they can either arrange for my body to be picked up or take a statement from me. I choose the later. Britons let a right be taken from them and now it will be much harder to get it back. But you should try.
    ???? ?????? ????? ?????? ???????
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  30. ????? ????   10 years ago

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