Friday Funnies

Fourth Best President

Chip Bok | 12.30.2011 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

You know who else wanted to be an artist?
1. Alex Trebek 13 years ago
  
  The guy who said the following on March 24, 1942:
  
  "I absolutely insist on protecting private property ... we must encourage private initiative."
2. PS 13 years ago
  
  Sean Penn?
3. Sparky 13 years ago
  
  I used to be an artist like Bok... but then I took an arrow to the knee.
  1. Post-Domestication Artist? 13 years ago
    
    The current literature consistently reports that until the final stages of the Paleolithic Age?until just prior to the present 10,000-year era of domestication?there is no conclusive evidence that any tools or hunting weapons were used against humans at all.
    
    [Arthur Ferrill, The Origins of War from the Stone Age to Alexander the Great (New York:Thames and Hudson, 1985), p. 16.]
    
    The Origins of War
    John Zerzan
    http://www.scribd.com/doc/2029.....ins-of-War
    1. ??? 13 years ago
      
      Relevant because cave drawings?
    2. Whiterun Indian 13 years ago
      
      You keep posting that, and never talk about the Maba Man find that is 125,000 years old.
      
      So what happened.....did someone take your sweetroll?
      1. Maba Man repeat for Libertard 13 years ago
        
        The researchers suggest that all they really know is the ancient human suffered a blow to the head.
        
        "What becomes much more speculative is what ultimately caused it..."
        
        Maba might have had a run-in with an animal. A deer antler would be about the right size...
        
        http://www.livescience.com/17130-anci.....rauma.html
        
        Do we have to go over this tomorrow too, libertard?
        
        Sparky 13 years ago
        
        Have you seen those Maba Men? They've got stone clubs. Stone. Clubs.
        
        * Nagasaki * Hiroshima * 13 years ago
        
        *yawn*
        
        Whiterun Indian 13 years ago
        
        Well then I guess when they have some film footage, or a fossil with a tool still buried in it, you'd be convinced.
        
        Just keep your hands out mof my pockets, sneakthief.
        
        You're the TAKER Culture 13 years ago
        
        "[The Native Americans] didn't have any rights to the land ... Any white person who brought the element of civilization had the RIGHT TO TAKE over this continent."
        
        ~Ayn Rand, US Military Academy at West Point, March 6, 1974
        
        There's one HONEST Capitalist!
        
        The RIGHT. To TAKE.
        
        Whiterun Indian 13 years ago
        
        Nimrod, why do you bring up Ayn Rand in this context? Oh right, you start with fallacies and end with nonsequitors.
        
        M'aiq does not understand what is so impressive about shouting. M'aiq can shout whenever he wants.
        
        Rev. Blue Moon 13 years ago
        
        Please don't respond to it. It feeds off of your attention.
        
        Capitalism = TAKER Culture 13 years ago
        
        You brought up the context of taking, dipshit. I answered. Butthurt much?
        
        Whiterun Indian 13 years ago
        
        You're arguing with a Skyrim quote, Great Hunter.
        
        And you need new memes. Creepy Wonka is a personal fave of mine. Try some of those.
        
        Sean H. 13 years ago
        
        Because, yanno, Ayn Rand speaks for all of us.
        
        ALL. Of US.
        
        American Indian Holocaust 13 years ago
        
        Genocide was committed by a Capitalist economic system. Are you in denial, Sean?
        
        Toolbag 13 years ago
        
        Better watch it they might do it again.
        
        Palestine 13 years ago
        
        I know
        
        Menth 13 years ago
        
        What happened to the dorset culture?
        
        Untermensch 13 years ago
        
        Mercantilist at the time. Capitalism came later, but by then the damage was done. Blaming capitalism on something that happened before it was widespread poses some interesting problems for your theory.
        
        Relative 13 years ago
        
        Well thanks to moral relativism, nothing is really wrong, so why you bitchin?
    3. I Heart Capitalisms 13 years ago
      
      Sure. Nobody ever got angry or horny until domestication.
      1. Maba Man repeat for Libertard 13 years ago
        
        Eibl-Eibesfeldt referred to the !Ko- Bushmen as not bellicose: "Their cultural ideal is peaceful coexistence, and they achieve this by avoiding conflict, that is by splitting up, and by emphasizing and encouraging the numerous patterns of bonding."1
        
        An earlier judgment by W.J. Perry is generally accurate, if somewhat idealized: "Warfare,immorality, vice, polygyny, slavery, and the subjection of women seem to be absent among our gatherer-hunter ancestors."2
        
        1 I Eibl-Eibesfelt, "Aggression in the !Ko-Bushmen," in Martin A. Nettleship, eds., War, its Causes and Correlates (The Hague: Mouton, 1975), p. 293.
        
        2 W.J. Perry, "The Golden Age," in The Hibbert Journal XVI (1917), p. 44.
        
        The Origins of War
        John Zerzan
        http://www.scribd.com/doc/2029.....ins-of-War
        
        Walking into the Reason Church with Origins of War is like walking into a Baptist Church with Origins of the Species. White Indian make-um Market Fundamentalists howl! White Indian counts coup on their anti-reason dogmatism.
        
        Tom K 13 years ago
        
        I've been away for a while, but it's clear that we still need a better class of troll around here.
        
        It's clear. And settled. 13 years ago
        
        Toolbag 13 years ago
        
        If we go back to that lifestyle it is gonna be hard for you post on the internet.
        
        Kaon Kristen 13 years ago
        
        It'll also be hard for him to get the Cheesy Gordita Crunch Value Meal at the Taco Bell drive thru.
        
        Or 13 years ago
        
        .....getting a governmnet check too.
        
        Sober 13 years ago
        
        If we go back to that egalitarian Non-State lifestyle it is gonna be hard for you to Lord-It-Over others.
        
        Fletch 13 years ago
        
        Zerzan received his bachelor's degree from Stanford University and later received a master's degree in History from San Francisco State University. He completed his coursework towards a PhD at the University of Southern California but dropped out before completing his dissertation.
        
        20+ years of Gamboling in the halls of hierarchy!
        
        The Walk 13 years ago
        
        He's a hypocrite for not walking the walk...or should that be gamboling the gambol?
        
        More likely diddling the diddler would be more appropriate.
        
        I Heart Capitalisms 13 years ago
        
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_savage
    4. MacKlingon 13 years ago
      
      then what happened to the Neanderthals?
      1. Wipe off that Klingon 13 years ago
        
        Inability to cope with climate change? Gonorrhea? Absorbed into the Cro-Magnon population by interbreeding? You tell me.
    5. Francisco d Anconia 13 years ago
      
      JESUS CHRIST...JUST STOP FEEDING IT!
      1. Sparky 13 years ago
        
        When it's the Friday before New Year's and there's nothing else to do at work...
        
        Francisco d Anconia 13 years ago
        
        A happy thread consists of no more than 1 input from White Idiot.
  2. Road_Kill 13 years ago
    
    LOL!
  3. Toolbag 13 years ago
    
    SKYRIM!!!!!!! I knew I had heard that somewhere. It saddens me that I recognized it.
  4. DaHMan 13 years ago
    
    This whole thread started with a "arrow to the knee" joke... which would annoy me anywhere else but since so many people didn't get it its funny... Congratulations Sparky, you just told the first funny "arrow to the knee" joke.
4. Bok Sux 13 years ago
  
  You know who else wanted to be an artist?
  
  What a horrible thing to say. How dare you make that comparison about Hitler.
  1. Bok Sux 13 years ago
    
    Hitler deserved better than to be compared to Bok.
    1. Bok Sux 13 years ago
      
      See what I did there? I compared Bok's general ineptitude to mass murder.
Nathan 13 years ago

Of course, he never said that. What he said was that the first two years of legislation was as good as any but three other presidents.

But, hey, in a publication called "REASON" why not have misrepresentation.
1. KOCH said it, and I believe it 13 years ago
  
  and that settles it for me.
2. Hank 13 years ago
  
  Hey Nathan, know what? Obama also never stood beside a snared elephant wearing a tiny hat.
  1. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
    
    Other three presidents ... let me guess, one of them would be FDR...would the others be Wilson and LBJ? Or Lincoln and LBJ?
    1. ??? 13 years ago
      
      Franklin Pierce, Andrew Johnson and James Buchanan. It's Bizarro World.
      1. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
        
        So what was his definition of a good year for legislation? The laws associated with these three jokers are either bad or passed over his veto (Johnson).
      2. The Ghost of Franklin Pierce 13 years ago
        
        I'm always amazed so few have heard of me, since I was the best-looking President.
3. Mr Whipple 13 years ago
  
  DRINK
  1. Nathan 13 years ago
    
    Not drinking. I have a lot of issues with Obama, and have criticized him often (including at the bagel shop this morning).
    
    I was talking about THIS cartoon and THIS instance. And in THIS cartoon in THIS instance he is intentionally misstating what the target said.
    
    That's not drinking the kool-aid, but asking that misrepresentation not be a part of the discourse. Sorry for asking for honesty.
    1. Beezuz 13 years ago
      
      It's a local drinking game. We DRINK every time some clever fellow tosses out his gem about "a publication called REASON".
      
      I'm sure your buddies at the bagel shop just love your droll witticisms, though. Thanks for setting us all straight.
      1. Mr Wipple 13 years ago
        
        Which is why I now have liver disease.
        
        Mr Wipple 13 years ago
        
        Damned cell. It lost my "h".
        
        cirrhosis of the alphabet 13 years ago
    2. William Walsh 13 years ago
      
      . . . And of course no one over at the HuffPo ever misrepresented, say, Ron Paul.
4. I Heart Capitalisms 13 years ago
  
  I heard Sarah Palin's mouth doesn't actually transform into a gun.
  1. ??? 13 years ago
    
    It does transform into a powerful suction device.
    1. I Heart Capitalisms 13 years ago
      
      My knee used to transform into a powerful suction device but then I took an arrow in the mouth.
      1. ??? 13 years ago
        
        Not penis, fortunately.
  2. Tim 13 years ago
    
    Seriously I heard one ABC radio report that said she was flirting with getting back in the race. Apparently she was prepared to lose to Romney but not Ron Paul. ALso her revenue streams are drying up now that she's not a candidate and people realize that she babbles like a Prom Queen.
    1. I Heart Capitalisms 13 years ago
      
      A Palin vs Bachman cat-fight could be pretty entertaining I guess.
      1. Jell-O 13 years ago
        
        Well long as they are naked and rolling around in Jello, its all good
  3. Nathan 13 years ago
    
    The difference is that the transformation into a gun is representative, suggesting that what she says may incite violence. That is a valid, if incorrect, interpretation of events.
    
    What this does is put specific words in the mouth of a person, specific words that are specifically not what the person said.
    
    It would be if a cartoon had words over Palin's head saying, "You should shoot Democratic politicians." That would be wrong, as well.
    1. Sparky 13 years ago
      
      So you're ok with a cartoon featuring a 6-toed elephant dangling from a one-rope snare holding a paper in the end of its trunk. The REAL problem is that the words next to the man are not his EXACT quote.
      
      Interesting. Tell me about your mother.
      1. William Walsh 13 years ago
        
        He should know his mother, he lives in her basement. What's your point?
    2. I Heart Capitalisms 13 years ago
      
      The speech bubble is representative, suggesting that BO is an arrogant prick. Very tame stuff compared to accusing someone of causing a murder.
5. Rev. Blue Moon 13 years ago
  
  Oh Lord...is it too early to drink?
  
  *rummages for amaretto for his coffee*
Jungle Jim 13 years ago

Six toenails?
1. Hank 13 years ago
  
  Subtle allusion to the fact that this "GOP" is a passable -- but still mutated -- version of the Grand Old Party of yore.
  
  Bok's works are like an onion.
  1. Ska 13 years ago
    
    Making you want to cry and having a pungent odor that makes you want to take out the trash.
    1. Hank 13 years ago
      
      And great on pizza.
Arduin Grimoire 13 years ago

Bok Sux. I may just change my commentator name to "Bok Sux".
1. Bok Sux 13 years ago
  
  I just did. Alert the media, Arduin Grimoire from now on will be known as Bok Sux.
  
  BTW, why does the H&R page take so damn long to load?
  1. Market Failure. 13 years ago
    
    Or do you call it a success?
  2. ??? 13 years ago
    
    Looks like a Chinese cabbage.
smz 13 years ago

why do I see the negative of the cartoon - what's black should be white, what's white should be black. Seems racist to me!
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

needs more captions *bAdooM-tiSH*
Tim 13 years ago

Why isn't it a pink elephant? It should be pink. Why use color in an editorial and not have the elephant be pink?
1. PS 13 years ago
  
  Have we won in Iran yet?
  1. Syria 13 years ago
    
    HEY!!
CoyoteBlue 13 years ago

I do like the hat. Cuz otherwise, I'd wouldn't know the elephant represented the Republicans. Cuz I'm slow. But I like hats.

... and monocles.
Bok add monocles and you'd cut grief down by 10%.
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Shouldn't someone comment on penis-shaped head on the president? It's been up for almost two hours. (The cartoon, not the penis.)
1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  Two more hours and it's time to seek medical attention.
2. ??? 13 years ago
  
  The president's head is shaped like a penis.
  
  Also his ears are shaped like fried chicken drumsticks, which obviously is racist.
3. Jose 13 years ago
  
  Well he is a dick. And everything out of mouth is like pissing on our leg.
SugarFree 13 years ago

Diss on Obama and the SorosBot gets especially angry. Gotta keep those checks flowing.
1. Fundamentalist Church Lady 13 years ago
  
  "Well, isn't that SPE-CIAL?! How con- VEEN-ient!"
  
  "Could it be...SOROS?"
  
  The stupid is strong with you, sugar free. White Indian counts coup on your paranoia self-destroya.
  1. Sparky 13 years ago
    
    I count coup on your inability to directly answer a question. I win!
    1. ! = exclamation, dipshit. 13 years ago
      
      Questions have question marks, dotchaknow?
      1. Sparky 13 years ago
        
        You have to stop now. I counted coup on you which means I won and you lost. To keep arguing at this point just makes you look even stupider.
        
        Making an ass of yourself... 13 years ago
        
        ...by purporting that I didn't answer a question -- which you never asked -- is not counting coup.
        
        Still, I'm happy for you if you feel good about yourself and are having a little fun.
        
        Sparky 13 years ago
        
        You lost, it gets better when you admit it. You've never once been honest in your dealing with anyone on this site. I called coup on that. I understand you're trying to turn this White Indian nonsense into a valid meme but I don't think it's going to work. You know if you go back to Infoshop.org, where I'm guessing you came from, you can live happy with the fact that the admins there will ban people they don't like.
        
        It must please you greatly to come here and make ridiculous statements then declare yourself the winner of ... something. Well now I've counted coup on you and declared myself winner therefore you lose. You can keep arguing if you like, and I'm sure you will, but it will never make you the winner you think you are.
        
        In closing:
        
        I WIN! YOU LOSE!
        
        Gambol yourself out to the great plains and live like you want to. Abandon the tools of the evil domesticates.
        
        Ridiculous link:
        http://news.infoshop.org/artic.....4150023328
Appalachian Australian 13 years ago

Why doesn't White Indian have any friends?

It seems sad that he spends so much time posting his viewpoints in a place where he is mercilessly ridiculed for them.

Especially during the holidays.
1. Tonios Word for the Day 13 years ago
  
  PRELAPSARIAN AGGRANDIZEMENT is when religious types talk about how super peachy everything was in the garden of eden. Its secondary meaning is positing an alleged golden age and bloviating about How Much Better Things Were Then(tm).
  
  Sound familiar?
  
  I'm not justifying the actions of europeans in the new world. But you can't turn back the clock and right every historical wrong. Too many conflicting claims.
  
  European colonization of the new world happened fairly recently and records were kept. There are many other incidents of historical injustice and agression, but addressing them all would be impossible.
  
  Ethnic Britons (me) have a theoretical claim against the Italians (Epi) for the Roman invasion of Britain. Expecting Epi or the government if Italy to reimburse me for that is ridiculous.
  
  And look how well things worked out in Palestine.
  
  The music has stopped. The game is over. Living people have a right to recompense for wrongs done against them. Somebody wronged your ancestors in the past? Not so much.
  1. Occupation requires violence 13 years ago
    
    ...each and every day in the agricultural city-State.
    
    Aggression was not committed just during the invasion.
    
    You can't weasel out of it, Libertard.
    
    Privation property, while you try to whitewash it as "freedom," requires persistent agricultural city-Statist government violence to enforce.
    
    Premise Three: Our way of living?industrial civilization?is based on, requires, and would collapse very quickly without persistent and widespread violence.
    
    ~Derrick Jensen
    Endgame
    http://www.endgamethebook.org/Excerpts/1-Premises.htm
    1. Fletch 13 years ago
      
      How and WHY does an indigenist get a MFA?
      
      He Gamboled thru the city-state's approved institutions for 20 yrs only to find them intolerable.
2. Sparky 13 years ago
  
  The merciless ridicule is all he has left to let him know that someone will still pay attention to him.
  1. Quit whining when out-competed 13 years ago
    
    White Indian out-competes the self-styled ?ber-competitors.
    
    Like all competitive personalities, they really get deflated when they're had. Lower testosterone, shrill feminized whining, and general butthurtedness.
    1. Sparky 13 years ago
      
      You still think you won something? That's bizarre but more power to you I guess. I'm not quite sure how you think you won something you didn't even compete in.
first 13 years ago

With her unique young innocent beauty, perfect shape and proportions Jula is one very special treat! Just turned 18 this student of architecture, is an absolute stunner with delicate features and hair like a lion's mane.

Jula has a great career in front of her and Petter Hegre tips her to be the girl most likely to be crowned Miss Ukraine some day in the future. With her kind and calm personality, Jula is a photographer's dream ? a girl with the looks, the body and the right attitude. With an enjoyment of all things aesthetically pleasing Jula's primary interest is fashion.

Beautiful in many ways Jula is a young girl who melts hearts wherever she goes.

http://www.hegre-art.com/models#action=show&id=158
rather 13 years ago

That's why I'm the fourth best farter in jars.
first 13 years ago

Her name may mean goddess in Greek but it is German and American blood that Thea has running through her veins. And don't be fooled by her fragile appearance - this 21-year-old powerhouse has will power and determination in spades!

Described by Petter Hegre as 'An iron will in a small body' Thea takes her health seriously, and is what you may call something of a fitness fanatic. An Olympic champion in self-discipline - sports, green tea and red wine are her recipe for a healthy mind and body. She also follows a strictly no-carbohydrates diet to keep her figure lean and toned!

Hegre met Thea during a dinner party in Cape Town and with her fine features and super-toned body immediately spotted her potential as a model. The rest, as they say is history?

With her stunning looks, vibrant personality and her steely determination, Thea is certain to succeed in whatever she puts her mind to!

http://www.hegre-art.com/models#action=show&id=166
first 13 years ago

Meeting Mia for her first ever full frontal nude sessions proved to be a happy experience for both model and photographer.

At the photo session in Paris, Mia proved herself to be perfect model material. Not only does this playful and sexy young woman have a superb body ? with a particularly amazing ass - she also has the brains too.

Mia recently moved to Budapest and is studying Public Management. She has plans to open her own model agency and experience in front of the camera is certain to help this ambitious girl on her way.

Mia is gorgeous, polite and full of personality. She is the kind of girl you could easily fall in love with. She has the tiniest of appetites... but like many girls Mia just loves chocolate!

With brains and beauty this girl is definitely headed for the top!

http://www.hegre-art.com/models#action=show&id=164

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