Reason.tv: Crackdowns on Consensual Sex, Veggies, and more! Nanny of the Year (2011)
They touch our lives in so many ways, and Reason.tv kicks off awards season by acknowledging those who have devoted their lives to minding other people's business.
Live (to tape) from the fourth floor of the Sepulveda Center in Los Angeles, it's the third annual 2011 Nanny of the Year Awards!
These United States have produced many worthy nominees in 2011. Who could forget the city planner who threatened a woman with 93 days behind bars for growing vegetables or the state senator who did his best to outlaw crossing the street while listening to an iPod (shortly before pleading guilty to federal corruption charges).
But this year the golden Nanny goes to the Wolverine state pol who's bent on making most any kind of teacher-student sex--not just a fireable offense, but a felony, even if the student is older than age 18 or even if teacher and student are middle-aged. (And, in an apparent attempt to secure nanny gold, our winner is also fighting to force school kids to recite the pledge in front of genuine made-in-America flags.)
Presenting Reason.tv's 2011 Nanny of the Year: Michigan State Senator Roger Kahn!
Approximately 2.45 minutes.
"Nanny of the Year" is written and produced by Ted Balaker, who also hosts. Shot by Paul Detrick and Zach Weissmueller. Animation by Austin Bragg.
Go here to watch previous Nanny of the Month (and Year) episodes.
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This nanny crap is really old. Do Racist Bag of Shit of the year, I nominate Ron Paul!
Nanny Statist Old Poodle worried about White Indian breaking a nail while gamboling about plain and forest.
To hell with all that Benjamin Franklin crap about trading liberty for temporary security.
Gambol Lockdown is in the house!
I'd give it a 2/10, but it's just too obviously satire.
That's because you're one of many who are too stoopid to not run with scissors, Max. People like you deserve more government than you have now.
the state senator who did his best to outlaw crossing the street while listening to an iPod (shortly before pleading guilty to federal corruption charges)
I think we are approaching a 1:1 correlation between the greater the nanny statist/"there needs to be a law against X" a politician is, the chance of them doing whatever it is they're trying to outlaw or being corrupt approaches 100%. Case in point: anti-homo politicians are almost assuredly closeted gays, or in the case of female politicians, married to a closeted gay guy.
What should we call this? "Craig's Law"? "Bachmann's Law"? Suggestions please.
Stop me before I sin again! I dunno, who encapsulates this mindset best?
Spitzer?
I like that one, at least as a placeholder. You could call such laws F.S. laws in his honor. Or Law No. 9.
"Fucking Steamroller's Law" works for me.
I second Fucking Steamroller's Law. A motion is on the floor.
It'll do.
As one of the three kings of H&R (sloopy said so!), I hereby make it so on my authority alone.
Well, I didn't vote for you.
Alea iacta est, ProL.
Yeah, and look what happened to the guy who said that.
He became one of the most famous people in all of human history?
Famous-stabbed-fifty-times people, you mean?
Jesus only got stabbed once, that slacker!
Vote for King? What is this, Malaysia?
Exactly. Did anyone vote for Elvis? I think not.
Look, strange women in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
Thank you. I was shocked that no one caught that.
That's different. More of a religious crown than a secular one.
ProL is just jealous that Warty, NutraSweet, and I are kings and he's just a peasant. In your face, ProL!
"Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king. Hail to the king, baby."
Just remember the phrase, Et tu, Wartinus. No reason.
That's quite a regal quorum you have there. Or should I say queerum? (Ha! Queerum. Awesome.)
Anyway, weren't you three idiots the Axis of Glib or something?
Kings can be in whatever axes they choose, you moron. Moron!
So you claim some sort of responsibility in your triumvirate for the current state of the comments section here?
The deplorable state of affairs here is entirely due to the loss of our regal power of summary execution, as you well know. The Irish are at fault.
We had nothing to do with it.
Less than 4 sentences.
The Axis of Glib includes more than us three idiots, as it includes the idiots ProL, JW, and BakedPenguin as well. Our triumvirate is an axis of extra glibness within the Axis of Glib. Think of ProL as the Peter Lawford of The Glib Pack.
ProL is at best our Montgomery Clift, and you know it.
I support no man.
Montgomery Clift? No, ProL is our Liza Minnelli.
Everybody say, "He sure look funny."
That's Montgomery Clift, honey!
A' glub gub gub.... aaaaaarrrrrrghhhh! Fucking Joe Strummer, what a lyricist.
Only if I can be Liza today as she now currently is being. Which is, namely, batshit insane.
This is such an enchanting picture of you and your marriage to BP, ProL.
Man, what a freaky looking bunch. And to think one once played Cleopatra.
Montgomery Clift? Peter Lawford? Liza Minnelli? Geez, exactly how old are you people? I thought we were about the same age.
FOE has a point. You guys should put this in Brat Pack terms.
Fuck you jerks, there is no age definition when it comes to the greatest entertainers of the modern era. But if you want, ProL is the Ally Sheedy of our group. Warty is, of course, Anthony Michael Hall, and NutraSweet is Molly Ringwald. JW is Judd Nelson, BP is Andrew McCarthy, and I am Emilio. FoE, you can be an honorary member as Demi Moore.
That list is fine, except that you're Adam Sandler. Stop lying.
I AM A FUCKING WARLOCK!
Wait, wrong Estevez.
I'm not really a joiner. But, on second thought, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle was THE greatest Charlie's Angels films ever. I used to think it was because Tom Green wasn't in it, but maybe it's because of Demi Moore...
I'm Miller from Repo Man.
Shut up and eat some more pie, Fatty Arbuckle.
Anything after the newfangled moving picture goes right over my head.
This shit is almost as interesting as a John-MiNGe tug o' war
I really want it to be Santorum, but I think he's just doing anything he can do be away from his family at all times.
Well, doesn't that sort of qualify?
Smokers.
Agricultural city-Statism (Civilization) = Nanny-Statism.
You're one too.
Pot. Kettle. Black.
You've been at this shit for 6 months. Any converts?
I now want legalized gambling! Indian casinos in the forests sound great!!!
Actually, YES! I am against gambol lockdown!
Me too! No, wait... I'm against gimbal lock. Sorry, my mistake.
You know who else was against gimbal lock?
I made it as far as 1:47.
What do I win?
I was hoping Louise Fletcher would get the win. Her depiction of Kai Winn really showed what damage a nanny in the guise of spiritual leader could do.
she played that role masterfully. I still hate that character with a bajoran-sized vengence.
Doris McGonicle is everyone's idea of a hot teacher. With her sexy wrinkles, well-polished dentures, spectacles, and luxurious white hair, you'll want to give her much more than an apple! And don't be naughty, because she believes in old-fashioned discipline - the kind that really hurts!!!
Go to my Web site and see candid shots of Ms. McGonicle baring her entire curriculum!
Linky?
http://www.obviousjoke.com
Though philosophically I agree, it's no wonder that libertarianism has a hard time catching on with a larger demographic when the best that a major source of libertarianism in America can come up with for an entire year of nannies is that teachers can't fuck their students.
Really guys?
Is banning the happy meal not better? Or really anything?
You can do better, surely.
No, we can't.
And don't call me surely.
I totally agree.
This is totally unexpected!!
Who the fuck could have imagined that?
So we have major political scandals involving the DoE (Solyndra et al), the DoJ and their various organizations (Fast and Furious), yet I'm supposed to believe that Obama is the bestest president since *insert progressive icon of choice here*, and must support his scandals via my hard earned money?
Fuck.
My choice is "support statist fuck hole and his blatant run at stuffing his supporters' pockets with my cash while looking over my shoulder to make sure that there isn't a Special Forces team ready to take me away to Guantanamo without charge or counsel" or "go to jail for tax evasion"?
We. Are. Fucked.
"I'll have the chicken, then."
More like tofu.
This needed an appearance by The Shat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRnSnfiUI54
What doesn't?
Lesbian porn?
You joke, but even that could be improved by Shatnerian narration. Preferably Shatnerian "singing" narration.
Picard replies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....1DMCn16qWI
So... anti-consensual sex has more lobbyists than STEVE SMITH and Big Ben?
the best that a major source of libertarianism in America can come up with for an entire year of nannies is that teachers can't fuck their students.
Without having WTFV, I'll go out on a limb and say this most likely has to do with people who in ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCE (with the lamentable exception of alcohol consumption) would be considered adults capable of acting independently in their own interest.
I get that. I really do. But this is the absolute best example of nannyism the editors could find? Really?
I don't buy it. Especially for a publication that makes a living by showing examples of state sponsored nannyisms on a daily basis.
They need to market libertarianism better. You know, to others who don't currently subscribe to libertarian thought. And lamenting that students and teachers can't fuck isn't going to do that job. In fact, I'd bet the average person sides with the nanny on this.
Remember when Ghost was nominated for Best Picture? Maybe reason is just rying to emulate the Academy.
Consensual vegetable sex makes me think of Gabby Giffords.
Does that make me a bad person?
Only if you tune into Dateline NBC to watch the "Giffords Intimacy" two hour special where she and her astronaut husband talk about how they got their sex life back and whether it involves adult diapers.
hamlett is a play about this guy who, like, goes to get a danish and sees a ghost. then he says ophelia pain, and they do a play and polonius is stabbed for giving it only one star. then hamlet is captured by like pirates or ninjas or something and everyone is killed.
So anyway, here is a photograph of my tatas.
Talk about grade inflation. Back in my day, teachers used to insist on handling the goods live for a pass.
Dear Miss Jones,
Sorry my paper is two weeks late, but I was too busy working out. I finally got the hang of this Dostoyevsky guy. So he wrote this book, like, it's several hundred pages or so, and it's about a guy who kills his landlady and then goes in search of a white whale and the Grand Inquisitor comes into the Cherry Orchard the end.
If you have any questions about my paper, I would be glad to see you in your office. Did you get my tweet?
Better.
I got nothin.
Presenting Reason.tv's 2011 Nanny of the Year: Michigan State Senator Roger Kahn!
I don't know how this was missed, but here's a perfunctory
Kahhhhhhhhhhhhhhn! Kahhhhhhhhhhhhhhn!
A few posts above.
I see that... now.
Amandine is a Parisian born Jewish girl. She teaches hip-hop dancing to teenagers at one of the many dancing institutes in Paris and also works as a show dancer. This caring and warm-hearted girl loves animals too.
Amandine openly admits to being an exhibitionist and loves to wear skimpy outfits that show off her toned, dancer's body, both during her dancing classes and when she goes out clubbing in Paris. She is very comfortable with her body but this petite brunette wishes she was taller. Amandine's training as a dancer really shines through when she is being photographed or filmed. She literally performs a private dance for the camera, engaging the lens with her sensual movements and inviting eyes.
With her upbeat attitude towards life and her sweet smile, Amandine is great fun to be around!
http://www.hegre-art.com/models#action=show&id=145
Thanks