Reason Morning Links: Obama Says He Might Not Be Able to Fix Economy, Perry Bets the House on Iowa, Paul Supporters Pray for Newt to Fall Flat

• Obama on fixing the economy: "That's going to take time. That's going to take more than a year. It's going to take more than two years. It's going to take more than one term. It probably takes more than one president."
• Obama on GOP Nominee: "'It doesn't really matter' who the Republicans nominate against him." 
• "If Newt trips in Iowa," Ron Paul will be there to take his place. 
• New York lawmakers want TSA to hire passenger advocates. 
• Perry bets the farm on Iowa. 
• Big Bend National Park could get an unmanned border crossing. 

New at Reason.tv: "17 Miles in Just 78 Minutes! Light Rail vs. Reality in LA"

Comments

[sarcasmic]

Breaking News! Kate Moss is still hot!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-2011.html

[protefeed]

She'd be a lot hotter if she ate some food so she didn't have the body of a teenaged boy.

[Lord Humungus]

watch out or else you'll be branded a chubby-chaser!

[sarcasmic]

Is this more your style?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....rcuit.html

[protefeed]

Naaah, my style is a bit more like this girl, some T&A flesh on her, who looks a bit like my Filipina GF:

Kya Tropic

[sarcasmic]

I never was attracted to hookers.

[Apple]

Depends on their rates. You get what you pay for.

[sarcasmic]

I'll take your word for it.

[More Breaking News!]

Narcissists favor Morning Links over all other daily postings by 3 to 1!

[sarcasmic]

Sinead O'Connor is not (and never was).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....dding.html

[Ice Nine]

She may have been married three times before but Sinead O'Connor...

Who could have guessed that those wouldn't work out?

[Devil's Advocate]

Oh Sinead. Oh, honey.

As for the she was never hot: I thought she was pretty cute back in the day. But she sure isn't doing herself any favors with the shaved head look. It takes a certain set of facial features to carry that off (for men as well) and she doesn't have it.

[Ice Nine]

Yeah but, really, that giant blob of ink on her chest sort of makes up for it, don't you think?

[Devil's Advocate]

Yes, it totally makes the "look."

I do think it is interesting that her new husband looks fairly normal. Also, she has only been dating him for three months and is marrying him? WTF. I guess she is one of those women who has to have a man in her life.

[Clich? Bandit]

That VEGER chick from Star Trek the Movie...she was hot.

[Abdul]

She don't look like much, but she did have this to day about her recent nuptials:

"On sunday I will put up blog on whole day. Too glorious for words. For now though, as you will appreciate, it's a bit of a 'Can't. Talk. Cock. In. Mouth'. Situation"

http://gawker.com/5866699/sine.....nouncement

What a poetess!

[Phil Hartman]

Sine aid ? I got your sine aid hanging baby

[Apple]

Ugh. Yeah, she's pretty hideous these days but I don't agree that she never was hot. 25 years and a bad attitude will do that to some people. When she looked like this I would have been all over it:

http://image.maniadb.com/image.....130729.jpg

But I get that the lice prevention look isn't for everyone.

[Devil's Advocate]

Yeah, I thought she had a very cute, waifish, gamine appeal. No tats visible in this pic either. That huge thing in the middle of her chest that she currently sports looks like her heart is trying to escape by Alien-ing its way out.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

She was able to pull it off when she was younger, but now that her looks have gone and she's joined the Tat Brigade, she just looks like some burned-out butch lesbian.

Bottom line is that, typically, long hair > short hair or no hair, even on those who can pull off the latter look. Pull up an Emma Watson pic with long hair, and one with her current pixie cut, and you'll see what I mean.

[Fist of Etiquette]

New York lawmakers want TSA to hire passenger advocates.

Alec Baldwin's already got a job.

[Rich]

Damn your quick fingers, Fist!

Anyhoo: Think of all the jobs this creates.

[WTF]

"That's going to take time. That's going to take more than a year. It's going to take more than two years. It's going to take more than one term. It probably takes more than one president."

"So re-elect me, even though I just told you it doesn't even matter. Because I really do think you're that stupid."

[Juice]

Saying that he can "fix" the economy definitely isn't treating voters like they're stupid.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

I think Adam Sandler takes the same approach with his movies.

[protefeed]

I do agree with the part about it taking more than one president, though not in the sense Obama means it.

As in, a different president in 2013.

[anonymous commenter some guy]

We've already had more than one President trying to fix this shit. Both failed miserably. Third time's the charm?

Maybe Obama was foretelling the ascension of Dr. Paul?

[Neu Mejican]

I have never been a big fan of Obama, but he does, occasionally talk about issues like an adult.

[Citizen Nothing]

Grandpa Simpson is an adult.

[Brett L]

Like every other politician, this only seems to happen when he's running for re-election and backing down from all of the unicorns and rainbows promised during the previous campaign.

[Neu Mejican]

Nah, he did it during the first campaign as well...on occasion.

[Tulpa]

Link?

[Neu Mejican]

Link?

Really? Obama's so obscure that you need me to provide you with a link to things he said during the campaign.

Sometimes adult discourse is conducted upon an assumed common ground of knowledge. You are familiar with things he said during the campaign. I am familiar with things he said during the campaign. I think that some of them meet the criteria of "talking about issues like an adult." If you disagree fine. It is not like there is an objective standard.

[shorter Neu Mejican]

No, I don't have any facts to back up my assertion.

[Neu Mejican]

shorter Neu Mejican|12.12.11 @ 3:24PM|#

No, I don't have any facts to back up my assertion.

anonypussy reads poorly

[Pantless Deviant]

[Obama] does, occasionally talk about issues like an adult...

I particularly liked that bit about the ocean levels falling if he was elected. Real grown-ups typically express themselves with such delusions of grandeur, I found it quite refreshing.

[Pip]

I would point out that when he was elected, the earth stopped warming.

[Maxxx]

And we (America) began caring for the sick and injured.

[Tulpa]

He's not talking like an adult, he's making excuses.

If he had said something like this during the 2008 campaign, that would have been talking like an adult. Context matters.

[Nads On The Run]

^this

[anonymous commenter some guy]

I thought TARP and the stimulus fixed the economy already. I mean, recession's over, right?

Right?

[sarcasmic]

I know.
I mean, it makes perfect sense that the government spending money that it obtained by first removing it from the economy through taxation, the sale of bonds, and devaluing the currency could have anything but a positive effect.

[TrickyVic]

Just think positive and it will be.

[Arduin Grimoire]

"That's going to take time. That's going to take more than a year. It's going to take more than two years. It's going to take more than one term. It probably takes more than one president."

Vote Obama, he's impotent. I just wish they'd be consistent in their assertions that govt can't fix everything, can't make everything better, can't protect you from all harm, etc. instead of just making the claim when they fail.

[Jerry]

WTF happened to the Summer of Recovery?

[Lord Humungus]

that's next summer, ya' know, right before the election.

[Clich? Bandit]

free beer tomorrow!

[anonymous commenter some guy]

No, no. That's sometime next term. But only if you vote Obama.

[WTF]

Forever twirling, twirling toward recovery.

[Arduin Grimoire]

"'It doesn't really matter' who the Republicans nominate against him."

Probably true, given that it will most likely be Newt or Mitt.

[Republican Club]

Do you really want to hurt me?

[DBug]

Do you really want to make me cry?

[Lord Humungus]

Congress edges toward a compromise on spending
http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

Put this in the "small accomplishments" category for an especially gridlocked Congress: It appears increasingly likely that, with little fuss, lawmakers will approve a bipartisan compromise in coming days that will keep government running past Friday, when a short-term funding measure that has kept the lights on expires.

wait, wut? I thought they had this fight already?

and...

McConnell (R-Ky.) predicted that some Democrats who support construction of the 1,700-mile pipeline from Canada to the Gulf Coast would vote for the Republican bill.

But Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) has said the GOP measure is a "partisan joke" that cannot win approval in the Democratic-controlled Senate.

[Tulpa]

But Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) has said the GOP measure is a "partisan joke" that cannot win approval in the Democratic-controlled Senate.

Damn those obstructionist Republicans!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Perry bets the farm on Iowa.

Just don't look at what's written on the rock at the entrance of that farm.

[Rich]

You're on a roll! 😎

[Fist of Etiquette]

Old and/or obvious jokes always crowd pleasers at Morning Links, Richie Rich!

[Rich]

Only before the coffee kicks in!

[Joe M]

Alternate: because he didn't have $10k

[Rich]

Too obvious.

[Joe M]

I guess the coffee kicked in. Thirty minutes earlier and you would've been loving that shit.

[Arduin Grimoire]

Lindsay Lohan live and unairbrushed: Behind the scenes of Playboy photoshoot

[Teenage Girl]

Eewww!!

[Devil's Advocate]

She makes every single one of my mom-ly Spidey Senses tingle.

As for her photo shoot: How to make a 25-year-old look likes she in her 40's.

[sarcasmic]

Her sister don't look half bad.

[Ice Nine]

So, if Lindsay Lohan appears in Playboy and is not recognizable as Lindsay Lohan, does it really matter that Lindsay Lohan appears in Playboy?

[Arduin Grimoire]

'Celebrity Cook-Off': Rachael Ray vs Guy Fieri Show Coming To Food Network

'Celebrity Wife Swap' pairings announced: Gary Busey, Ted Haggard, Carnie Wilson and more

[Devil's Advocate]

I can see you are just full of horrific celeb news this morning D:

RayRay and Guy Fieri. OMFG.

I kind of like Rachel (although her schtick can be annoying if you watch her in concentrated doses) but I honestly cannot see one iota of appeal in Guy Fieri. He's just disgusting.

[Ice Nine]

Ted Haggard's wife needs to kill herself now.

[Lord Humungus]

Movie audiences shrink below post-Sept. 11 level

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Hollywood's holidays are off to a dreadful start: Fewer people went to the movies the last two weekends than during the box-office hush that followed the Sept. 11 attacks 10 years ago.

Domestic revenues tumbled to a 2011 low of about $77 million this weekend, when the star-filled, holiday-themed romance "New Year's Eve" debuted at No. 1 with a weak $13.7 million, according to studio estimates Sunday.

Gee, I dunno, make some good movies for a change? Instead of a remake or another adult-who-hasn't-grown up comedy. *blargh*

[Brett L]

Who could have forseen that NYE, with about a zillion different plot lines all focussed on New Yorkers, wouldn't sell?

[DBug]

No, Hollywood keeps putting out the recycling bin...I mean, when they go and remake a movie like Piranha, then you know things are bad...I used to work at a theater and you could see the people come in with smiles and excitement and leave with frowns and disappointment...

[Lord Humungus]

what, you didn't like the nude underwater scene in Piranha?

[Tulpa]

Maybe Chris Dodd wasn't the wisest star for them to hitch their wagon to.

[Anonymous Coward]

The fact that all 10 of the top grossing films of 2011 were either franchises, cartoons, or both, should indicate that this has not been a banner year for new and interesting movies.

[rather]

War on Christmas -North Korean Style

[Ice Nine]

Obama: Fixing economy likely to take 'more than one president'

'It is now, anyway' adds Obama.

[invisible furry hand]

It probably takes more than one president.

Dear God... not ... no... he isn't suggesting... cloning?

[Brett L]

Better than the alternative of naming Joe Biden co-president.

[oldtimer]

Co-presidents? what's up with that? Hillary ? Joe? Two part-timers,creating a 1/2 job?

[gaijin]

Job sharing

[Pip]

Job Wealth sharing

[Satan]

New York lawmakers want TSA to hire passenger advocates.

You invoked Me?

[Devil's Advocate]

LOL. +100

[Mike M.]

"24" has officially become reality, as local police departments are now using Predator drone aircraft to spy on American citizens right here at home.

[WTF]

Well, at least they're not armed drones. Yet.

[invisible furry hand]

come in, the water's lovely

[The Bad Guys]

Ha! We'll just switch cars in the tunnel!

[Chloe]

Ha! I have surveillance in every tunnel!

[Reason ca. 1920]

Allowing police to drive horseless carriages around town rather than walking a beat allows them to surveil a far greater area and threatens our cherished right to privacy.

Some predict that in a few years, wireless radio contraptions may be installed in horseless carriages, which would allow them to communicate and coordinate their movements to a degree that was not envisioned by the Founders, opening the door for oppressive tyranny the likes of which has never been seen before.

[robc]

I concur.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

Well of course it makes simple sense for police to make use of the latest available technology to be able to monitor everyone. For example, the police should be able to use your cellphone GPS technology to track where everyone is at all times. And they also should be able to remotely activate your laptop's webcam and microphone to see and hear what you're doing wherever you are.

And many auto manufacturers now include GPS built into the car, which will save the police a lot of time by not havingt to attach a separate GPS tracker to every car.

Once we get viewscreens in everyone's homes, it really will make it so much easier for the police to monitor everyone and make sure you're not violating the law.

I mean, if you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide.

[Tulpa]

All the examples you give are of police using property that does not belong to them, and even more importantly using devices located in private areas for surveillance without the permission of the owner.

That's a pretty big difference. Everything these drones do can already be done with a helicopter, it would just be way more expensive to do it that way.

Commandeering cellphone GPS and laptop cameras would permit surveillance that is inherently impossible to duplicate with any legal means.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"We need to use our resources to secure the border rather than making it easier to enter in locations where we already have problems with illegal crossings," McCaul said in an email. "There is more to the oversight of legal entry than checking documents. (U.S. Customs and Border Protection) needs to be physically present at every point of entry in order to inspect for contraband, detect suspicious behavior and, if necessary, act on what they encounter."

"Illegal crossings". Things are only illegal until they're legal. (Come on, you know it's no longer the other way around.) So with this checkpoint, many illegal crossings will be made legal.

To combat that, I suggest we use the term immoral crossings. Also, armed sentry drones.

[invisible furry hand]

How about a sliding scale? You could start at the ones that everyone approves of - say, "fluffy bunnikins crossings" - and then build up through "tacky like a Kardashian crossings" and various gradations until you get to "you evil cocksucker crossing"

[Fluffy]

So what McCaul is saying is that if we ended the Drug War we could fire all the US Customs and Border Protection guys and have machines do their jobs?

'Cause it sounds like he's saying that machines can read documents but can't look for contraband. OK, so stop looking for contraband. YAY MACHINES

[Lord Humungus]

some local reporting:

I went to the downtown record store yesterday. The owner is your dyed-in-the-wool Democrat type. Anyways, while I'm flipping through the newly-arrived section, I overhear a conversation he has with a friend.

Basic gist - Obama sold out to the Washington establishment. He was a good guy, but couldn't stop 'the real power' in DC - the corporate interests, etc. But at least he passed Healthcare.

His friend went on to say - America is great country, but we have a system that favors the big guys. We could be spending more money giving everyone more education and healthcare. Which is an odd statement, considering an earlier statement he made considering Haiti (where his wife did some donation work) - "We should just stop giving free food and money to Haiti so they can do these things themselves."

Sadly, I did not interject in this talk since I want to keep my 'repeat customer' discount.

[o3]

sounds like the beginning of a joke -"did u hear the one about 2 guys in a record store?"

[o3]

o3 - did u hear the one about 2 guys in a record store?
no wut happened?
o3 - i pooped myself

[Brian]

Me - did you hear the one about two guys in a record store?
No what happened?
Me- nothing, I just found it surprising to find two people in a record store.

[o3]

"Did u hear the one about 2 guys in a record store?"

"What's a record?"

[protefeed]

Sounds like the clueless woman at a party last night who told me that she was a capitalist, except for wanting universal health care.

I decided to not ruin a decent party by pointing out that what she was saying was that she was in favor of capitalism except for the part where she would have socialists finish taking over and ruining about 1/6th of the economy.

[Clich? Bandit]

It is situations like these where a person with severe aspergers can come in handy, like a pet in Wow, just ask him a wildly inapropriate question in front of a lot of people (like Is Obama a good president) and watch this sparks fly...this does not protect you from WIFE GLARE LEVEL 7 however and should be used cautiously at her x-mas party.

[CrackertyAssCracker]

fuck, thats why people always ask me questions like that !

[Pips]

Social services should generally play no part in capitalism.

[JW]

Sadly, I did not interject

You could also, in the alternative, punch yourself in the head and slam your balls in a drawer several times. Same effect.

[Lord Humungus]

on the bright side, I did pick up a nice copy of "Magazine - The Correct Use of Soap' and "David Sylvian - Brilliant Trees", along with an Icicle Works 12" EP - Seven Horses.

[SugarFree]

The Centers for Disease Control issued the following alert:

"On June 29, 2011, the Wyoming Department of Health was notified of two laboratory-confirmed cases of Campylobacter jejuni enteritis among persons working at a local sheep ranch. During June, two men had reported onset of symptoms compatible with campylobacteriosis. Both patients had diarrhea, and one also had abdominal cramps, fever, nausea, and vomiting. One patient was hospitalized for 1 day. Both patients recovered without sequelae. During June, both patients had participated in a multiday event to castrate and dock tails of 1,600 lambs. Both men reported having used their teeth to castrate some of the lambs. Among the 12 persons who participated in the event, the patients are the only two known to have used their teeth to castrate lambs."

[AAW]

Use caution when using teeth to castrate lambs

That goes without saying.

[Innocuously Anonymous]

If only someone had said it before Saturday night!

[Brett L]

This is so going to my epidemiologist friends. And any alumni of TAMU in my address book.

[Brett L]

So... according to my epidemiologist friend, 45% of all 'campy' cases in FL come from this vector.

[Ice Nine]

Let's just say these two probably aren't exactly masters of foreplay.

[Pip]

Masters of Foreplay

Good band name?

[Warty]

Somebody doesn't watch Dirty Jobs.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's actually a valid technique?

[Warty]

So it seems, or at least they pretended so while they were fucking with Mike Rowe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QErgjt_GYBk

[Fist of Etiquette]

Holy. Shit.

[Lord Humungus]

Reading Errol Flynn's "My Wicked, Wicked Ways", he apparently did this same work in Australia.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

Yes, it's been used for centuries.

[CDC]

The Centers for Disease Control also recommends removing teeth from cats before applying gravy to your genitals.

[Citizen Nothing]

My rapi-scanner luck ran out in JAX last weekend and I had to opt out. I was about 90 minutes early for my flight, so I risked getting a little lippy with my official groper.
"You want to do this in private?"
(In a very loud voice) "No -- I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE THIS!"
So another TSAr-er comes up: "You have a choice you know -- you can choose not to fly."
"Right, lady. I can choose to be nudie-scanned, groped, or not fly. God bless America! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!"
It was probably stupid, but it felt good. And they seemed to rush me through as quickly as possible. I just hope for every 50 people in the security line who thought "What an asshole," at least one thought, "Right on, brother."

[Devil's Advocate]

On behalf of me, thanks for taking one for the team.

Also, probably less people than you think thought you were an asshole.

[db]

I did about the same thing last time I got picked. They tried to shunt me to the scanner and I said "I'll take the pat-down." The TSA drone said "that was fast." They proceeded to make me wait 5 minutes until they could scrape up a guy to do the patdown. This guy had been restacking the x-ray machine trays and had to be asked three times to put on his gloves and give me the feel-up. This dude looked like a complete sex offender. He asked me if I wanted to do it in private and I said, quite clearly, "no. Here in public is fine."

This shit just pisses me off...now they're deliberately making opt-outers wait longer than necessary.

[sarcasmic]

What's the fun in having power if you can't use it to fuck with peoples' lives?

[Incontinental Airlines]

That's why I always urinate during the patdown.

[Citizen Nothing]

While I was being groped, I also tried to make eye contact with as many people waiting in line as possible.

[db]

Same here. A sad number of them glanced away quickly. I got a couple of meaningful nods back but most just looked away.

[Dagny T.]

Oh, and my groper really went the extra mile: this time they actually pulled the waistband of my jeans a good couple inches from my body. So that isn't at all invasive. Nope.

[protefeed]

Perhaps a snarkier line would have been, "No, I want a lot of witnesses who can testify you groped me without my consent when I call the police and demand you be arrested and charged with sexual molestation."

[Surly Chef]

Thank you CN. I've flown numerous times right after 9/11, when there were still National Guard units at the Philly airport and I was not hassled at all. I suspect a decade later it will be much more of a hassle. I'll inevitable keep my head down, what with my terroristy sounding last name and all.

[Dagny T.]

I opted out yesterday flying out of Seatac and as usual seemed to be the only one doing so. I was more docile than I'd like to be, having had my spirit broken by the Canadian border guards last weekend. Travel sure is fun these days!

[Lord Humungus]

I haven't flown since the introduction of the scanners. I used to fly (on business and a few vacations), but the downtick of corporate profits has limited the number of (do nothing) conferences that we get to attend.

I've been thinking of (finally) learning how to fly, just to bypass some of this security madness... or is it still bad for owners of small planes?

[Gray Ghost]

IANAP, but I thought that GA avoided pretty much all of the TSA nonsense. GA is about an order of magnitude + more expensive to get from A to B (unless A&B are tiny airports in the middle of nowhere), so it isn't for everybody.

What does a private pilot and IFR rating cost these days, in instruction, airplane rental, fuel and fees? This link claims about $7,500-10,000. Then there are the costs to rent or lease the airplane, fuel, insurance, etc...

[Lord Humungus]

I know it won't be cheap, but hey - a useful like skill.

[Lord Humungus]

*like = life

[Pope Jimbo]

I had a similar experience in San Diego this summer. I too opted for the public groping.

Another TSA drone threatened me when I started talking to the groper about what they thought of their job. The secondary TSA goon told me to "Stop talking to the screener" or something.

I shut up but mugged with other passengers and got yelled at for that too.

I'm not that brave, but after my normal dosage of pre-flight liquid nerves, I can get sort of lippy.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

I just hope for every 50 people in the security line who thought "What an asshole," at least one thought, "Right on, brother."

What about those thinking, "Right on, asshole"?

But seriously, I would have been smirking and giving you the thumbs-up.

Then I would have meekly walked through the scanner after having removed half my clothing and watching my valuables disappear into a machine in a little plastic tub.

[Liz]

Alec Baldwin's already got a job. LOL

[P Brooks]

That's going to take time.

"Rome wasn't burned in a day, you know."

[James Ard]

Excellent.

[Michelle Obama Xmas Special]

A chienage to Bo in every room.

[Citizen Nothing]

I also immediately went to the bar near my gate, downed a couple (three, four?) pale ales very quickly, got on H&R on my iPhone and promised, on my sacred honor, to donate a substantial sum to Reason if they'd cave to Pro L and use "Newcular Titties" in an alt-text.
And now you know...the rest of the story.

[Brett L]

You did give, right?

[Citizen Nothing]

Yeah -- I saw that Matt went Newcular on the Republican debate post. So there goes my children's Christmas.
Hehehe.

[R C Dean]

I'll be right back. Have to donate now.

This raises the logical question, though:

What else can we get H & R to do for money?

[Mary Crizmus]

Eat a Klondike Bar?

[Brett L]

They're libertarians, pretty much anything.

[db]

2 years ago I offered (in the special instructions box on the donation page) to double my donation if they disable threaded comments. Maybe if enough people...nah.

[JW]

What else can we get H & R to do for money?

Troll snuff fic?

[Auric Demonocles]

Force Etkins and Sullum to attend alt-text training?

[Lord Humungus]

Make sure WI doesn't gambol across the fruited plain of our comments?

[Pro Libertate]

Well, "Newcular Titties" could be promoted to post text or even a post title. For the right amount of money.

[JW]

I think if the editors promised to start using "Newcular Titties" in place of Newt's name, in all instances, we could close out next year's drive as well.

[Auric Demonocles]

"Promoted" from alt-text? I don't think that word means what you think it means.

[Pro Libertate]

Promoted to a greater level of prominence. More obvious, less concealed.

[Pro Libertate]

I paid as promised.

[db]

New York lawmakers want TSA to hire passenger advocates.

Because what will fix TSA is hiring more people.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Republican presidential candidates often point to a statement Obama made soon after he took office in 2009, in which he said he expected his administration to steer the country out of the problem by the end of his first term.

But newly minted President Obama didn't realize how he would be thwarted by powerful Congressional Republicans, especially that first year.

[Pro Libertate]

With their crazy Republican superpowers.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They did have that superminority thing going for them.

[Jerry]

They have, like, majorities even when they don't.

[Pro Libertate]

In the same way that libertarians secretly run the world, while being laughably irrelevant.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

Wait, we don't?

[Innocuously Anonymous]

Shhh! You'll blow the whole thing!

[Devil's Advocate]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSpOjj4YD8c

[P Brooks]

Use caution when using teeth to castrate lambs

And you had better be sure to have those warning signs printed in whatever language Basque sheepherders speak.

[Barack Obama]

I'm pretty sure they speak the Basque language.

[P Brooks]

you can choose not to fly.

And you could choose not to be a goose-stepping tool of the Total Paranoia State, you fucking cunt.

[P Brooks]

Both men reported having used their teeth to castrate some of the lambs.

Okay, I gots ta know; spit, or swallow?

[Joe M]

One retiree in Newton... told me she simply wouldn't vote for Romney, because he is Mormon.

...the anonymous retiree (conservatively, in her 70s) told me she would "probably" back Gingrich in the January caucuses. Her only reason: "He can beat Romney." After Santorum's event, though, she told me "I might switch." Then she begged me for my assessment of Santorum's chances, "can this guy win?"

...The retiree in Newton... eventually confided in me: "I don't really like Gingrich. I was just told he's the guy to beat Mitt."

This woman is everything that is wrong with America.

[Devil's Advocate]

Sounds like senile dementia to me.

[Brett L]

Matrix-style learning possibly possible.

"Here's the basic procedure
?Find someone capable of performing a task, for example juggling. Then stick them into an fMRI machine and have them imagine juggling. As they mentally go through how they do it, the scientists decode the brain patterns into something they can use later
?Find another person. Stick them in an fMRI machine and have them try and imagine juggling. Decode as before, then compare.
?Use neurofeedback by rewarding people for increasing the similarity in brain patterns.
?Nothing else. By mimicking the state of the professional juggler, you are learning how to juggle."

Although this is no different from the POW studies conducted post-Vietnam about POWs who visualized guitar playing or golfing for long periods and came back better at the skill, except you are setting it up in a second party. I'd be interested to see a double blind where they just let people visualize a task and then test them without rewarding the "right" brain wave pattern.

[Brett L]

How to Gamble if You're in a Hurry

Unfortunately, its also the fastest way to lose all your money.

[Surly Chef]

Much too close to that other word that starts with a "g". Also I hate Maple.

[El Commentariosa]

I was told there would be no math.

[Arcaster]

The new poster for TDKR is pure awesomeness:

http://www.thedarkknightrises.com/#

[The Art-P.O.G.]

Goosebumps, man.

[Cytotoxic]

I read David Cameron did something that doesn't make me hate him. It's like seeing new colors.

[Brett L]

Did I miss a memo? Are we all working instead of gamboling in the comments today?

[Poet Laureate sloopyinca]

P Brooks|12.12.11 @ 9:44AM|#|show direct|ignore
Both men reported having used their teeth to castrate some of the lambs.

Okay, I gots ta know; spit, or swallow?
----------------------
Brooksie, if you know someone that swallows an entire set of balls after they go down on someone, please let them know they're doing it wrong.

[Tulpa]

That's one job where having dentures would be an advantage.

[squishua]

It's an advanced technique.

[Mike M.]

Breaking news: the Iraq War has officially been declared over by both the U.S. and Iraqi governments.

Now here's hoping that Civil War doesn't break out over there.

[o3]

civil war? is that the war bet bureaucrats? welcome to the first world !

[Mr. FIFY]

"might not be able to fix economy"?

What a fuckin' laugh. Obama doesn't want to fix it.

[Tulpa]

Never assume malice when incompetence is an equally plausible explanation.

I have no doubt he would prefer the economy was better, but he doesn't want to do what needs to be done to get there.

[protefeed]

It's worse than that -- he doesn't even recognize what needs to be done to get there. You will not hear Obama talking about doing away with the federal minimum wage, even though that would immediately make a big dent in the unemployment rate, and raise tax revenues to boot.

[Mr. FIFY]

Sorry, Tulpa... IMO, Barry really doesn't want any vestige of free-market activity. If he had the power, he'd shitcan it tomorrow morning.

[Sammy Dextra]

Id say its time to hit it up dude. Seriously.

http://www.WebPrivacy.tk

[Matrix]

How about that Tebow?

[Auric Demonocles]

Who? That guy who scored 7 points in over 4 quarters of play? Although your tone indicates he is good... You must be talking about the kicker guy who got 110 yards of field goals.

[Brett L]

Tebow can play, but I'm withholding savior judgement until he plays someone with an intact offense. If he can will them to win against the Pats or Green Bay, I'll be a believer.

[Matrix]

Tebow had a lot of good passes that were dropped by his receivers. It plagues most quarterbacks at all levels.

[jtuf]

Obama on fixing the economy: "That's going to take time. That's going to take more than a year. It's going to take more than two years. It's going to take more than one term. It probably takes more than one president."

Wow, Obama really is the FDR of our generation.

[stevie9441]

I agree with Obama, It's not easy for fixing US economy.

[GW]

Big Bend National Park could get an unmanned border crossing.

By the spring, kiosks could open up in Big Bend National Park allowing people from the tiny Mexican town of Boquillas del Carmen to scan their identity documents and talk to a customs officer in another location, at least 100 miles away.

This reminds me of that scene in Blazing Saddles where they instantly put up that gate that charges a dime toll in the middle of nowhere to slow the bad guys down.

It worked in the movie, so why not?

[The Dan]

Someone go back to camp and get a shitload of dimes!

[JB]

"It probably takes more than one president."

Then we should get a new one instead of this ass-clown of a Joker who is currently in the White House.