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Politics

Iowa GOP Debate Open Thread and Possible Live-Blogging!

Matt Welch | 12.10.2011 8:59 PM

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What the hell, let's live-blog this, the 427th debate of the GOP presidential nominating season. If Dr. Congressman Disco Brotherman Ron Paul (R-Texas) is to land that longshot haymaker, this is the state where it really has to happen. Start your commenting now, and let's see what happens!

Take Reason's candidate dating quiz here, and damn it, donate to our annaul Webathon!

9:02: Famous journalist salutes politicians for being brave enough to run for president. DRINK!

9:05: Roger Ebert predicts a Paul victory in Iowa.

9:06: Diane Sawyer (wisely) asks for "distinguishing" characteristic on economic plan. Romney (unwisely) repeats same old seven-point plan.

9:07: "Malinvestment"! DRINK!

9:08: "That is the culprit: big spending and big government." Paul closes well.

9:10: Ann Coulter: "Luckily, none of the candidates have Clinton's 'distinguishing characteristic.'" Funny cuz it's TRUE.

9:10: Wait, did Bachmann just say "one of my win points"?

9:13: Santorum, as he always does, answers at least one question very well: No, he can't promise the number of jobs he'll creat.

9:15: Katrina Trinko: "Glad Cain and Huntsman are out so there's enough time for Sawyer to get everything in she wants to say."

9:17: Where's Gary Johnson? Gary Johnson is on Twitter.

9:18: Lucy Steigerwald is heckling me.

9:23: First real exchange between Romney and Gingrich tragically drowned out by my three-year-old girl wishing me good night and suggesting I slam my head against the bookcase. #mixedsignals. Also, Gingrich seems to be routing Romney's attacks, however.

9:25: Ron Paul hits Newkular square in the Ta-tas on Freddie Mac.

9:28: Crowd stone-cold laughs at Gingrich's contention that his Freddie consulting was "in the private sector." It's really the right response to Newt Gingrich, in all instances.

9:33: Every time Mitt Romney campaigns to Obama's left on cutting Medicare, a little fairy rises up from my wine glasses and finishes my joke.

9:35: Romney always lies his face off when he talks about how he didn't want Romneycare to be applied to the federal bureaucracy, BTW.

9:37: Romney bets Perry $10,000. For once, I hope that's illegal.

9:40: Timothy P. Carney: "Regular Americans make $10,000 bets, right?"

9:42: Katrina vanden Heuvel: "And could moderators follow up when Ron Paul raises smart + transpartisan points--like why are we spending $billions on wars and bases/." Forget about the content there for a moment, and dwell on the syntax. SHE WRITES LIKE THAT EVERY DAY. It's fascinating.

9:45: Ron Paul hasn't talked in what, 25 minutes?

9:49: "Even stronger than a handshake in Texas." DRINK! Also, marital fidelity is more important to Rick Perry than learning how to pronounce it.

9:51: "I don't think we should have to talk about it," Ron Paul says, about fidelity, and then pivots wisely: "What about your oath of office?" Good applause paragraph!

9:54: Jesse Walker: "Cheers to Ron Paul, who managed to turn a question about Newt Gingrich's penis into a libertarian stump speech."

9:55: Gingrich sez "I've had to go to God for forgiveness." I'm not an expert on this stuff, but isn't going to God a privilege or something?

9:57: Gingrich: "I think we should make deportation dramatically easier." Also, English the official language. He is the big immigration softie, BTW.

9:59: Romney continues to try to claim the most hard-ass GOP position on immigration, even while he tries to claim the most soft-ass position on Medicare. 0 for 2, as far as I'm concerned. Though I think we can all agree that Diane Sawyer is a monster.

10:01: Rick Perry should n-e-v-e-r say the phrase "that clearly say…"

10:03: My wife, with a knowing, forlorn look: "It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday night, and you're live-blogging the Republican debate." DONATE, PEOPLE!

10:06: John Podhoretz: "I'm all for having candidates praise Israel, but Newt on Palestinians should not be the first foreign policy question."

10:08: Newt: "I spoke as a historian." Romney actually had a good retort to that one.

10:09: There is an insufficient amount of Teddy Roosevelt bashing in this debate. Also, Bachmann is talking about her kibbutz summer. DRINK BECHEROVKA.

10:11: Can an expert on stimulants assess Romney's mile-a-minute, teeth-grinding performance?

10:18: Roger Stone: "Newt leads at 3/4 mark. Romney flop sweat showing. Rick Perry, Ron Paul crazy Michelle and little Ricky irrelevant."

10:21: Rick Perry: "My Social Security has a zero in 1978." Bro, I've got nearly a whole decade that looks like that. Also, I can complete a sentence now and again.

10:23: Greg Gutfeld: "Okay, Next question: have you ever invited a homeless man over for dinner?"

10:24: Yes, Ron Paul moved from the question of personal poverty to monetary policy in roughly three sentences. #commitment

10:27: Kyle Smith: "Rick Santorum: Vote for me, I had both a mother and a father. Special!"

10:28: Oh hold on, Bachmann pronounces it KEW-pawn?? That's almost as bad as Newt Gingrich talking about his hands-on struggles as a small businessman.

10:29: Either Ron Paul is live-Tweeting from the podium, or he has some other human Tweeting under his name. JUST LIKE A POLITICIAN.

10:31: A "fundamentally rethink" from Newt. DRINK ROBITUSSIN.

10:32: Great, succinct answer from Ron Paul about government protecting you from itself. And now is talking about government as "force."

10:35: Michael Steele: "Paul: "You're in big trouble if you need the government to protect you from yourself." #iowadebate. True that Brotha!"

10:41: Rick Santorum is the only candidate I like more than I did at the beginning of this campaign. I do not know how to feel about this.

10:42: Rick Perry gives a generous shout-out to Paul's work on the Federal Reserve. Did not see that coming.

10:44: Mitt Romney singles out Ron Paul in his closing statement. You could see it as a generous pat on the head downward, or you could see it as Romney knowing that he's competing against Ron Paul in Iowa. I'll take the latter.

10:45: If we do survive, it will be because of Rick Santorum?

10:46: Nice close from the Disco Brotherman. Tolerance, bitches!

10:50: Oh! It's over. Thank God. You like this kind of thing? Please donate! And with that, good night, and thanks for commenting!

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

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NEXT: Durban Debacle?

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

PoliticsRon PaulElection 2012
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  1. voxpo   13 years ago

    Newt: "An American energy plan." Isn't a govt. Plan itself a giant bundle of regulations?

    1. SPOILER ALERT   13 years ago

      This is like the worst chat room ever.

      1. Anthony Weiner   13 years ago

        How ya doin'?

  2. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    I was just thinking, you know what the GOP hasn't done in a few days? And here we are.

  3. Gannicus   13 years ago

    "9:02: Famous journalist salutes politicians for being brave enough to run for president. DRINK!"

    Done and done.

  4. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Give the lady a damn number.

  5. Jerry   13 years ago

    Newt: "I worked with Clinton..."

    1. Realist   13 years ago

      Newt means he worked on Clinton. He had to fight Monica to gobble his knob!

  6. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

    Forget that, where are we on the $$ collection for a Steigerwald-written profile of STEVE SMITH for the webathon?

    1. Lucy Steigerwald   13 years ago

      I am feeling an indescribable mixture of terror and intrigue right now.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

        You can safely discard intrigue and focus on the other one.

        1. Lucy Steigerwald   13 years ago

          Will do.

        2. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

          This has to be done. We must donate and put "For the STEVE SMITH profile" in the "Enter your comments, suggestions, or questions here" box.

          Yes. We. Can!

  7. pmp   13 years ago

    R. Paul got to go third because he's running third. Woo-hoo!

  8. pmp   13 years ago

    R Perry is running on R Paul's coattails. Ye-ahhh boy-ee!

  9. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Diane is getting mad because she's not getting an exact figure.

    1. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

      JOBZ DAMMIT!!

  10. voxpo   13 years ago

    Win Win Win? Ugh.

    1. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

      Beats "Win Lose or Draw"

  11. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Government creates jobs. Where have I heard that before?

  12. pmp   13 years ago

    Michele Bachman: 9-9-9 is bad. "Win, win, win" instead! Huh?!?

  13. voxpo   13 years ago

    Yeah, anybody else want to make a stupid promise?

  14. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    If you love Newt's answer so much, why don't you just marry it, Diane?

  15. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Is Diane Sawyer sleep-moderating right now?

  16. Jerry   13 years ago

    LOL, Bachmann believes there is such thing as a social security trust fund.

    1. Al Gore   13 years ago

      It's a lock box.

      1. Vinz Clortho   13 years ago

        I am the keymaster!

  17. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Romney is a nice Syracuse shade of orange this evening.

  18. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

    Newt is a wiggling, bloated maggot who has been feeding on the body of the American taxpayer for 20 years and he's STILL at it. Someone needs to step on him. I just needed to get that out of my system.

    1. Poet Laureate sloopyinca   13 years ago

      Don't hold back. Let the hate flow through you.

      Besides, you're right.

    2. BigT   13 years ago

      Ok, he's only infinitely better than Obama, not infinity squared.

      1. juris imprudent   13 years ago

        I think the word you were looking for is "marginally".

      2. asdf   13 years ago

        There's a difference between Newt and Obama? What is it?

        1. Amakudari   13 years ago

          Either wife or melanin count.

      3. Realist   13 years ago

        Newt makes insane McCain look sane.
        If elected we will be at war with everyone. He is a dumb ass warmonger.

      4. Pips   13 years ago

        remove better and replace with worse and you would be correct

  19. pmp   13 years ago

    M. Bachman: I'm for conserving high payroll taxes.

    Nevertheless, I want to make a baby with her.

  20. voxpo   13 years ago

    Gary Johnson is live-Tweeting the debate. https://twitter.com/#!/GovGaryJohnson Unfortunately, he's become a Fair Taxer...as a last-ditch effort, I suspect. Can't blame him too much, but I wonder if he'll drop that if he runs as a Libertarian.

  21. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    God bless Stephy for interrupting Ron Paul as he's answering your question.

  22. Poet Laureate sloopyinca   13 years ago

    ABC acknowledges Paul's rise the only way they know how: dismissively.

    As far as the debate, I think I'll watch Clark Griswold have the hap, hap, happiest Christman since Bing Crosby danced with Danny fucking Kaye instead.

  23. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Romney's going to struggle to think of a third disagreement, isn't he?

  24. Apatheist   13 years ago

    mining on the moon?

    Romney processor malfunctioned.

  25. SIV   13 years ago

    Gary who? And what does he have to do with the GOP candidates?

    1. voxpo   13 years ago

      > SIV|12.10.11 @ 9:21PM|#
      Gary who? And what does he have to do with the GOP candidates?

      Johnson. Not much.

  26. pmp   13 years ago

    God, Newt is obese. That fat fuck.

    1. Realist   13 years ago

      And very little of it is brain weight!

  27. voxpo   13 years ago

    Mitt: Newt wants to make kids mine minerals on the moon?!

  28. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Is this going to be the Mitt and Newt Show?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      If it continues to be this entertaining I'm all for it.

  29. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Newt Gingrich is replacing janitors with student labor?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      With Lunan child labor.

  30. voxpo   13 years ago

    I gotta say that was a nice recovery by Romney.

  31. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Try Newt's Hypocrisy Cereal. Is it like Sugar tits?

  32. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Ron Paul drops the housing bomb on Newt.

    1. obijuan   13 years ago

      He was a historian dammit!

    2. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

      Yeah. He just threw down.

  33. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Holy shit, working for Freddy Mac is the private sector?

    1. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

      At least the "rebuttal" drew some laughter.

    2. BigT   13 years ago

      Who cares that he made money consulting for Freddie. WHAT did he recommend? Let's see the memos.

    3. Maxxx   13 years ago

      Kinda like the Olympics being private sector.

  34. Gannicus   13 years ago

    Newt's lobbying money apparently buys a lot of food.

    Those Titties are indeed Newcular.

    1. Ed Teller   13 years ago

      Thank you for sparing me the waste of time to watch this debate.. or I might have to go Newcular on you

    2. John C. Randolph   13 years ago

      I don't care if Newt is fat. What I despise him for is his repugnant power-grubbing ambition.

      -jcr

  35. voxpo   13 years ago

    Bachman's Lemonade Stand, Inc.??

  36. pmp   13 years ago

    M. Bachman knows how to translate things in snappy, pithy English ("The Rodeo Drive of Washington DC").

  37. Jerry   13 years ago

    Giving strategic advice to a government agency is working in the private sector. That's true Newtspeak.

  38. Apatheist   13 years ago

    pwned

    Gingrich is gonna take a raping tonight but it looks like he has plenty of cushioning.

  39. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Stop piling on Newt and Mitt. It just gives them more air time to rebutt!

  40. pmp   13 years ago

    "Newt Romney!"

    1. Doktor Kapitalism   13 years ago

      Funny thing is, it took me a second to get it...

  41. Nute Romney   13 years ago

    I'm the best coach Notre Dame never had.

    1. Newt Romney   13 years ago

      d'oh

      1. MM   13 years ago

        Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
        My name is.. Newt Romney
        Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
        My name is.. Newt Romney

        Ahem.. excuse me!
        Can I have the attention of the class for one second?

  42. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Yes, but where was Mitt Gingrich on those issues?

  43. Apatheist   13 years ago

    I see Gingrich is going to the lying strategy. Why not?

  44. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

    We must donate and put "For the STEVE SMITH profile" in the "Enter your comments, suggestions, or questions here" box.

    Yes. We. Can!

    1. Robert   13 years ago

      First I'd like to thank the real Steve Smith for being such a good sport.

  45. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Um so since he made plenty of money elsewhere it's ok for him to soak the taxpayers?

  46. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    I predict a Bachmann surge.

    1. Geoff Peterson   13 years ago

      In your pants.

  47. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Did you see Paul's smirk at the tempest he's stirred up? And Bachmann stepped in to take the backlash. Delicious.

  48. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    So, Romneycare for each state?

  49. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    I'm stunned, too. I didn't know Perry was even there.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Perry doesn't have anything between his ears to be stunned.

  50. ?   13 years ago

    Newt is a wiggling, bloated maggot who has been feeding on the body of the American taxpayer for 20 years and he's STILL at it.

    HEY NOW

    Newt's been feasting on the blood of the peasants since the '70s, not the '90s.

    And pictures of '70s Newt all look like they should be captioned "Co-Founder of the Greater Portland Queer/Questioning Noise Collective."

  51. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Perry needed to speak more forcefully.

  52. voxpo   13 years ago

    Hey Mitt, how does the 10th Amendment apply to drug laws?

    1. pmp   13 years ago

      This!

      Alas, Ron Paul isn't enough of an ass-hole in interjecting when he isn't asked questions...

  53. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Perry is wearing a pink shirt.

    1. BigT   13 years ago

      First thing you learn - never wear white on TV. You look washed out.

  54. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Newt is an idea man. Don't blame him for ideas.

  55. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Local H town news: corrupt former survivor contestant and Sheila Jackson Lee admirer is losing here runoff election for city council.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      missed putting in her name: Jolanda Jones.

  56. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

    Did Newt just mention libertarians? With no trace of irony?

  57. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Rich guys betting. Enjoy, voters.

    1. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

      That was unseemly.

      1. Bill Dalasio   13 years ago

        Unseemly, maybe, but wouldn't we be better off if the political class and commentariat started putting their money where their mouth is?

  58. veemee sashimi   13 years ago

    Rick Perry is amusing in an oafish sort of way.

    1. juris imprudent   13 years ago

      If Rick Perry were to win, Will Farrell would make a fortune.

  59. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    I'm about to go Sandi on this whole operation.

  60. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Mitt Romney wipes his ass with $10,000 bills.

  61. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Does it matter if Romney says he supports a federal Romney care or not? The point is that it shows that he has bad ideas about the role of government no matter the level of government.

  62. Jerry   13 years ago

    So they are clones!

  63. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Well, Pro Lib got his alt-text, and he's not even here.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Uncancel my subscription!

    2. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

      I just saw it and made my Newcular Titties payment. Thanks to Matt for hearing our pleas!

      1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

        Apparently they're whoring themselves out pretty good for donations. We should be making some really unfortunate demands.

        1. Pro Libertate   13 years ago

          Perhaps a more prominent Newcular Titties posting?

  64. Apatheist   13 years ago

    I'll be very upset if Santorum and Perry don't get to talk about teh GAYZ tonight.

    1. Jerry   13 years ago

      The gang of 7?

  65. veemee sashimi   13 years ago

    INVOKED!!

    Someone invoke Cthulhu please.

  66. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Rick Santorum's answer made me think. Why is Rick Santorum still in this race?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Somebody needs to fight for the suppressed Christians in the country!

      1. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

        It's Love, Love
        Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
        Pack up the babies
        Grab the old ladies
        Everyone goes
        Everyone knows
        Brother Love's show

  67. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Bachmann winning the debate.

    1. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

      MSM: Bachmann helps Romney.

  68. voxpo   13 years ago

    I'd like to see a commercial for gay marriage now. 😉

    1. BigT   13 years ago

      The NYT?? Do they think they'll attract customers from this audience? No wonder they're going broke.

  69. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Fred Thompson for President! His platform? Reverse mortgage your children's future.

    1. voxpo   13 years ago

      I concede defeat. : )

      1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

        I wasn't sure we all see the same commercials.

    2. O'Bama   13 years ago

      It works for me

  70. voxpo   13 years ago

    Hey, Fred Thompson's in the...oh, that's a commercial for reverse mortgages.

  71. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Chins up Newt, it's early.

  72. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Mitt "moneybags" Romney. 10,000 dollar bet.

  73. voxpo   13 years ago

    Neat, replays. They should show the one where Mitt thumped Newt on the forehead.

  74. Fred Thompson   13 years ago

    As a staunch conservative and former GOP presidential candidate, I want to take this opportunity to tell you about your chance to suckle from the government tit.

  75. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Alright donation done. Thanks for 7 years of free content that played a large part in me becoming a libertarian. Keep up the good work.

    1. Poet Laureate sloopyinca   13 years ago

      Nice work. Those apples weren't going to polish themselves.

      (I keed! I keed!)

  76. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    If the debate's a-rockin'...

  77. Ron Paul   13 years ago

    I hope I get my 89 seconds tonight.

    1. Dello   13 years ago

      YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN NEWT GINGRICH IS TALKING, BITCH!!!

      1. Robert   13 years ago

        My whore mouth is furry open legaldress.

      2. Robert   13 years ago

        Engrish, not Ginglich!

  78. BoscoH   13 years ago

    Are morons really Christians?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Idiocy is universal.

  79. voxpo   13 years ago

    Let us bow our heads in prayndering.

  80. Name Nomad   13 years ago

    9:45: Ron Paul hasn't talked in what, 25 minutes?

    Well, Gary Johnson hasn't gotten to talk in about seven months.

  81. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Let's see, at who is this marital vow question aimed...

    1. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

      Ask Mitt how many wives he's allowed.

  82. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Infidel, say it, Rick.

  83. Gary Moore   13 years ago

    i'll bet mitt $10,000 he doesn't get the nomination

    1. Mitt   13 years ago

      I am now also not in the business of betting.

  84. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Should frothy anal leakage be a factor in who you vote for?

    1. O'Bama   13 years ago

      Put a plug up your ass and get to the polls.

  85. voxpo   13 years ago

    "Iowanna be President"

  86. beezle   13 years ago

    RP taking the high road on the Newt-fidelity.. damn RP on a roll!

  87. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    RON PAUL IS NOT ANSWERING THE VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION ABOUT INFIDELITY.

  88. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Fantastic answer by Paul.

    1. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

      I he was sorta reaching when he started turning the question to something he wanted to say, but he finished pretty strong. Well done.

  89. veemee sashimi   13 years ago

    jeez, Romney looks like an oompa loompa.

    1. Willie Wonka   13 years ago

      Oompa Loompas are decent, hard-working people. How dare you insult them like that.

  90. pmp   13 years ago

    Michele Bachman is just making shit up about the Federalist Papers.

  91. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Bachmann's husband is ready to break into song.

  92. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Bachmann has the audience by the balls.

  93. voxpo   13 years ago

    That's okay Michelle, I apologize on your behalf.

  94. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Being a Christian really distinguishes you from all the other Presidents and current candidates Bachmann. Way to go!

    1. flacid tuna   13 years ago

      It distinguishes her from Romney.

      1. Apatheist   13 years ago

        The are Mormons Christian question is not one I give two shits about.

    2. Jesus Christ   13 years ago

      There's only one Christian on that stage.

  95. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Caption should say Current wife of Newt

    1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

      "Future Ex-wife"

  96. pmp   13 years ago

    Newclear Tit-ttayz is too hot not to fuck his Congressional AIDS.

  97. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

    Newt: I'm so glad that a significant number of idiots are willing to overlook my bullshit.

  98. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Diane Sawyer wants to secure the borders?

  99. voxpo   13 years ago

    Can't believe Callista Flockhart divorced Harrison Ford for Newt Gingrich.

  100. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Bachmann makes tuna turgid apparently.

  101. Newt   13 years ago

    I only cheated on my wives because I love America so much.

  102. pmp   13 years ago

    Chicken-hawk Gingrich is now for the Draft Board?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Slavery is best applied at the local level.

  103. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    3 days?

  104. voxpo   13 years ago

    Aggghhh, don't mention David "Made In America" Muir!

  105. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Where is Huntsman?

    1. voxpo   13 years ago

      Deported.

    2. Apatheist   13 years ago

      In case you wanted a serious answer: his poll numbers in Iowa were too low to qualify so he's in NH.

  106. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Uh-oh. Romney is going to deport Santorum.

  107. Jerry   13 years ago

    It should be an advantage to Paul that he doesnt like desperate in this debate, like Perry, Bachmann & Sanctorum.

  108. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Cheers to Jesse Walker for using "Newt Gingrich's penis" and "stump" in the same sentence.

  109. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

    What just happened to Perry? Was there a glitch in the matrix?

  110. voxpo   13 years ago

    Gee, Rick, you mean they don't even tag those illegals before releasing them?

  111. Rick Perry   13 years ago

    At any moment I'm susceptible to complete vapor lock.

  112. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Bring back the Ottoman empire!

    1. Crazy Newt's Furniture Outlet   13 years ago

      And what great foot rests they made!!

    2. O'Bama   13 years ago

      You mean the Obama empire.

  113. Newt   13 years ago

    Enough lying! About whatever.

    I've certainly done enough.

  114. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Um wow, is Romney being kind of sensible here? My head asplode.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Also, I'd prefer if RP not even have to talk about this stuff (even though I agree with him). Thank God Romney took the attention away from him. I have no doubt that this is a calculated move my him. He thinks that Paul should be left alone for now thinking that he can beat him one on one later (probably right).

  115. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    All people are invented people.

    1. Michelle   13 years ago

      Conceived or fostered, not invented.

    2. Apatheist   13 years ago

      We think therefore we aren't

  116. Jerry   13 years ago

    If Gingrich wants to go back to 1921 treaties, how about giving the Kurds a homeland?

    1. flacid tuna   13 years ago

      That's different.

      1. Jerry   13 years ago

        You don't just get to pick and choose in history, even if you are supposedly a historian like Newt.

  117. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

    Romney better get backstage and get himself cleaned off. That's how Shirley Eaton died, you know.

  118. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Newt Gingrich is running for president of Israel.

  119. veemee sashimi   13 years ago

    Will somebody stand up and say that Americans more than most are an invented people?

    1. flacid tuna   13 years ago

      That's racist.

  120. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Did Mitt say he doesn't do anything to harm the process of bombing Israel?

  121. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Bachmann wasn't listening.

  122. Jerry   13 years ago

    Wait, Bachmann was in a kibbutz, so she's a secret socialist?

  123. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Bachmann knows how to use a photocopier. Put her in the White House!

  124. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Okay, Santorum needs to jump in and say that his savior was a Jew. One-upmanship!

  125. voxpo   13 years ago

    Bachmannbot launches praise Israel subroutine.

  126. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Wasting too much time on Israel question.

    1. Rick Perry   13 years ago

      Heh, heh. I said 'rear.'

  127. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    You know who else had a solution for the jewish people?

    1. pmp   13 years ago

      ouch

    2. pmp   13 years ago

      ouch

  128. Fluffy   13 years ago

    If they aren't Palestinians, then they're Israelis.

    And that would create a whole host of NEW moral problems for the state of Israel.

    Israel's much, MUCH better off if "Palestinians" are actually, you know, real.

    And even if Palestinians didn't exist in 1948, that's over 60 years ago. Did "Americans" exist by, say, the presidency of James K. Polk, or were we still just "invented"? When the Marines were storming Veracruz, did the Mexicans say, "There is no such thing as an American"?

    1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      Tell me about it. Papa Drax, a Christian Palestinian, would probably be able to get some sort of restitution from Israel if he was actually considered an Israeli (Democracy my ass).

    2. kwais   13 years ago

      Fluffy, i think the argument is as such, that the Palestinians are really Jordanians. Thus they have no claim to Israeli citizenship, no land.

  129. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Too bad Cain isn't here to answer 999 on Israel.

  130. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Perry: the problems in the middle east started 3 years ago!

    Jesus Titty Fucking Christ

  131. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Rick Perry should not use the word "three".

  132. voxpo   13 years ago

    "our highly technical equipment"
    heehee

  133. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    So we were supposed to go to war with Iran over an unmanned drone?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      One that we put there. See how easy it is?

  134. Dumb Question Alert!!   13 years ago

    When we come back!!

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Actually I'm interested in seeing Romney and Gingrich answer that question.

  135. MC Ahmadinejad   13 years ago

    Ize got your drone bitches!

  136. BigT   13 years ago

    Iirc wasn't Palestine a protectorate of Great Britain?

    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki....._Palestine

    So Palestinian is no more invented than Iowan.

    1. flacid tuna   13 years ago

      Why do you hate Israel?

    2. Jerry   13 years ago

      And weren't Zionists at that time working with these Palestines to make sure the Christians stay out of Israel?

      1. Maxxx   13 years ago

        No.

    3. Cytotoxic   13 years ago

      The term 'Palestinian' is mostly an Arab propaganda talking point to legitimize the destruction of Israel. There wasn't much or any mention of 'Palestinians' prior to 1967.

      1. Heroic Mulatto   13 years ago

        The term 'Palestinian' is mostly an Arab propaganda talking point to legitimize the destruction of Israel. There wasn't much or any mention of 'Palestinians' prior to 1967.

        More like '64, actually.

        1. Cytotoxic   13 years ago

          Hmm, interesting to see how transparent they were. Same difference.

  137. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    10:03: My wife, with a knowing, forlorn look: "It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday night, and you're live-blogging the Republican debate." DONATE, PEOPLE!

    How is donating going to stop the missus from tapping her foot? How are you using these donations?

  138. voxpo   13 years ago

    2 for 1:
    Is that Newt on that Viking boat?
    Do we really need a Lunesta after this debate?

  139. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

    10:11: Can an expert on stimulants assess Romney's mile-a-minute, teeth-grinding performance?

    Unlike Obama's stimulus, the ones Romney are taking evidently work.

  140. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Last time on I'm an Asshole and I Can Prove It...

  141. Fluffy   13 years ago

    Welch, being editor of Reason is a 24/7 position, like being Queen.

    1. Voros McCracken   13 years ago

      Or like General Manager of a big league baseball team!

      Okay. GM of a little league team, but still!

      1. Voros McCracken   13 years ago

        I kid because I love, Matt.

  142. Apatheist   13 years ago

    What this thread really needs is for Southerner to come give us his opinion on Israel and link to where he "raped" us.

  143. pmp   13 years ago

    Question of the Night:

    Who really speaks for BiBi Netan-Yahoo! ?

  144. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Do the commercial breaks for this fiasco feel like some sort of play-by-play half-time to the rest you guys?

    1. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

      ABC has to make up for its loss of NFL somehow

  145. pmp   13 years ago

    Andrew, 32, in Texas is a cunt.

    That is all.

    1. Ken Schultz's sandy vag   13 years ago

      Shut your goddamn mouth!

  146. Anonymous   13 years ago

    Perry is hilarious. I can't wait until he comes home to us in atx. He has that fantastic bush smile.

  147. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Well, Newt had to give up Ohio since he couldn't afford the luxury of getting signatures.

  148. voxpo   13 years ago

    Perry Pan!

  149. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    THEY ARE THE 99%!

  150. pmp   13 years ago

    R. Perry was so awesome in Top Gun.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Yeah that volleyball scene was awesome. Too bad it was too hot for him to wear his Brokeback Mountain jacket.

  151. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Somebody with Rick Perry's background could give a great answer to that question. That someone is not Perry.

  152. Fluffy   13 years ago

    I think Newt pulled it out in Ohio.

    And no, I don't mean he met wife # 4 there. I mean he managed to get on the ballot after all.

  153. pmp   13 years ago

    M. Romney looks like a Ken-doll made off of ham.

  154. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    We need to get Mrs. Paul to pay off the national debt.

  155. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Paul was forced to pimp his wife out to pay for medical school.

  156. voxpo   13 years ago

    Well, there goes my theory that Santorum was built in a lab by graduate students.

    1. pmp   13 years ago

      WTF kind of grad students would create slippery, frothy, gooey Rick Santorum?

      1. Maxxx   13 years ago

        Jesuits.

  157. pmp   13 years ago

    Ron Paul: Until we replace public school lessons on A. Lincoln with ones on L. v. Mises, we're ass-fucked.

    1. What's   13 years ago

      Wrong with that?

  158. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Fuck you Santorum, you semeny Vaseline shitty discharge.

    1. Santorum   13 years ago

      Thanks for noticing

  159. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Rick Santorum wisely pivots to anti-single parenting.

  160. The Angry RPh   13 years ago

    First it was who is more religious, now it's who was the poorest? WTF?

  161. Fluffy   13 years ago

    Paul didn't actually talk about Lincoln, did he?

    Please tell me he didn't do that.

    1. pmp   13 years ago

      No, no. I was just flappin' gums, cousin.

      1. Fluffy   13 years ago

        Don't scare me like that!

        1. Ron Paul   13 years ago

          I knew Lincoln. Lincoln was a friend of mine . During the Depression.

          1. Doktor Kapitalism   13 years ago

            Joe Biden, you so funny!

          2. Doktor Kapitalism   13 years ago

            Joe Biden, you so funny!

  162. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Did Ron Paul say he grew up in the Depression?

    1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      Yep, he's old, but he could run a mile faster than my dumbass.

    2. Apatheist   13 years ago

      he did

  163. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Michele Bachmann: Dumbass tax payers.

  164. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Bachmann's parents were divorced. That explains it all.

  165. voxpo   13 years ago

    My recollection is that the big banks were not given the option of not taking TARP money.

    1. Pips   13 years ago

      Many were given the option.

  166. Michelle   13 years ago

    I turned tricks at 13

    1. Fluffy   13 years ago

      Bachmann was probably hot at 18.

      Heck, I'd probably still hit it NOW.

      1. pmp   13 years ago

        Probably?

        I might sleep with her over S. Palin. Truth.

    2. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      You know she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

      1. Michelle   13 years ago

        I hope you like my flannel long johns

        1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

          Oh, I do, you mid-western nutcase, I do.

  167. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Man Marcus is really really gay.

  168. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    Newt: I was born a poor black child.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      He fed from his own tits

  169. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Too bad they aren't getting their feedback from Hit'n'run. Yeah that's right, fuck you Stehpie!

  170. pmp   13 years ago

    Mitt comes out for cannabis deregulation!!!

    1. pmp   13 years ago

      state by state, you know.

  171. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    States can choose to ram through the Bill of Rights if they so choose...

  172. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Could Congress compel us to buy your bullshit, Newt?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Radioactive breast milk for all!

  173. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

    I've switched to Alone In the Wilderness.
    Dick Proenneke for President.

    1. Berr   13 years ago

      I'm pretty sure he's dead. But Alone in the Wilderness is fucking awesome. Especially the old-school flat-back Grumman he paddles around in near freezing water.

      1. El Commentariosa   13 years ago

        Do you have to be alive to be president? Is that in the constitution?

        1. juris imprudent   13 years ago

          If the Repubs had the technology they'd be running Re-animated Reagan in a heartbeat.

          1. Cytotoxic   13 years ago

            At this point I wish they were.

  174. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Newt Gingrich, collecting lobbying fees since 1974.

  175. Voros McCracken   13 years ago

    I'm only half paying attention, did Newt actually describe the 10th Amendment as a "barrier" to what it is he wants to do?

  176. pmp   13 years ago

    Newclear Tittayz be talkin' bout people need to take care of themselves?

    Fat-ass, heal thyself!

  177. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Federal Government: we are here to protect you from yourselves, you dumb bastards.

  178. Fluffy   13 years ago

    It would be great if Paul actually was tweeting from the platform.

    That's what I'd do if I was up there. I'd have my phone out and between questions I'd be trash talking about Newt's answers.

  179. pmp   13 years ago

    Rick Perry be tryin' to take Ron Paul's popularity!!!

    1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      Too bad he's a dumb piece of shit who obviously is jumping on the bandwagon.

  180. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

    "Okay, Next question: have you ever invited a homeless man over for dinner?"

    ITS A COOKBOOK!!!!!!

  181. Apatheist   13 years ago

    "Government is force" in a Republican debate. Awesome.

  182. Fluffy   13 years ago

    Newt couldn't fundamentally think his way into a Congressional aide's pants.

    Well, OK, maybe THAT he could do...

  183. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    I was hoping Branstad was heckling Perry.

  184. Donna Brazille   13 years ago

    I'm here for a paycheck, but let me tell you, I'd like all you fuckers hung for thinking you deserve to keep your money. You Santorum-esque fuckers.

    1. LuLu Rockwell   13 years ago

      We IS Hung.

  185. Heroic Mulatto   13 years ago

    Oh hold on, Bachmann pronounces it KEW-pawn

    How else are you supposed to pronounce it?

    1. Fluffy   13 years ago

      Coo-pon.

      1. Heroic Mulatto   13 years ago

        That pronunciation just stinks of hypercorrection to me.

        1. Fluffy   13 years ago

          I have never cared which pronunciation was in the dictionary. "Kew-pawn" just galls me because it sounds like the way it would be pronounced if it was in a "Designing Women" script.

          1. PantsFan   13 years ago

            and how does one pronounce issue or tissue? I hope you don't make the sh sound.

            1. Fluffy   13 years ago

              No, I make the sh sound.

              And I put the k in schedule.

              I'm not frickin' MADONNA over here or something.

              1. PantsFan   13 years ago

                I am disappoint.

              2. PantsFan   13 years ago

                I am disappoint.

          2. Heroic Mulatto   13 years ago

            "Kew-pawn" just galls me because it sounds like the way it would be pronounced if it was in a "Designing Women" script.

            This is for you.

    2. juris imprudent   13 years ago

      Like Ron White's wife "cup-un".

    3. Pope Jimbo   13 years ago

      I'm with you.

      I can only pray that Matt doesn't go to Sunny Minnesota if that pronunciation hurts his ears. That is how I hear everyone say it in these here parts.

      Of course, we are nice people. We'll give him a KEW-pawn for 50% off his next pop.

  186. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    What are you guys drinking tonight? I'm about 6 bottles deep with New Belgium Ranger IPAs.

    1. Voros McCracken   13 years ago

      "What are you guys drinking tonight?"

      Before the debate: Coca Cola
      After the debate: Drain Cleaner

      1. BigT   13 years ago

        Anderson Valley Winter Solstice Ale

    2. Apatheist   13 years ago

      I started with a Yeti Imperial stout big bottle and am no a couple Real Ale Coffee Porters in. Needless to say I'm pretty tanked.

      1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

        I've just cracked open the Shiner Holiday Ales.

        Is there anything more Libertarian-esque than micro-brews?

        1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

          Moonshine.

      2. Tyler   13 years ago

        Oaked Yeti Stout is the shit!

    3. Fluffy   13 years ago

      Dunaghy's Sparkling White Wine.

      1. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

        Some random crap Cab I got at the grocery store. Newt isn't worth better.

    4. chris   13 years ago

      Good taste there. Missed the debate. Went out and shot pool. Miller Lite on tap 'cause its still better than water.

  187. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    HFS, Chiaobama?

  188. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Diana Sawyer: Can't we all get along?

    Candidates: Yes, to deport Mexicans.

    1. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

      Everywhere around the world
      They're coming to America
      Every time that flag's unfurled
      They're coming to America

      Got a dream to take them there
      They're coming to America
      Got a dream they've come to share
      They're coming to America

      They're coming to America
      They're coming to America
      They're coming to America
      They're coming to America
      Today, today, today, today, today

    2. chris   13 years ago

      Can we all get along? Hippie shit is what is killing America, Diane.

  189. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Too bad they couldn't Google your name back then, Rick.

  190. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Santorum: Winning!

  191. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Wow, Perry is trying to steal some of Paul's heat.

  192. voxpo   13 years ago

    Aw...Perry earned a hug.

  193. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

    Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
    And then became one
    Well except for the names and a few other changes
    I you talk about me, the story's the same one

    But I got an emptiness deep inside
    And I've tried, but it won't let me go
    And I'm not a man who likes to swear
    But I never cared for the sound of being alone

    "I am," I said
    To no one there
    An no one heard at all
    Not even the chair
    "I am," I cried
    "I am," said I
    And I am lost, and I can't even say why
    Leavin' me lonely still

  194. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Second look at Perry? Seriously if I didn't know as a Texan that he's a slimy fuck I'd consider voting for him (in the general).

  195. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    So what is 'Merica back on track? Fighting the Soviets in almost Nuclear War?

  196. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    The back-handed Ron Paul praise is disconcerting.

  197. dunphy   13 years ago

    "I've just cracked open the Shiner Holiday Ales.

    Is there anything more Libertarian-esque than micro-brews?"

    yes. home brewing.

    and of all people, we have jimmy malaise carter to thank for legalizing it

    1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      I forgot, my Homer Simpson aptitude limits my capability to homebrew.

    2. Apatheist   13 years ago

      I home brew but as a libertarian I like having a diverse selection of beers to purchase because brewing it yourself can be a pain in the ass.

      1. dunphy   13 years ago

        rock on. i am just starting to home brew. i also just started buying beef by the side, from a rancher vs. using a specialty butcher. i like taking charge of my food and drink... currently working on making up batches of kimchi and gravlax. fermentation and curing are wonderful things

      2. Fluffy   13 years ago

        As a libertarian, I like beer produced by wage slaves and child laborers in unregulated and uninspected factories with locked fire exit doors.

        1. tarran   13 years ago

          Do the breweries dump toxic waste into aquifers supplying drinking water?

          1. Fluffy   13 years ago

            Only after we frack methane into them.

          2. juris imprudent   13 years ago

            How else do we keep our bottled water empires in the money?

            1. Abersouth   13 years ago

              Duh! Slavery.

        2. Greg   13 years ago

          Ooooh it makes my monocle twinkle just thinking about that...

        3. Uncle Joe   13 years ago

          Actually, i don't.

          Who knows what disgusting things those rotten kids put in the beer out of spite.

          My shoes, fine. My beer, no way!

  198. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    And Reagan's corpse makes an appearance.

  199. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Even though he probably won't win again it makes me smile to see the difference from four years ago of how Paul is being treated by the other candidates is astounding.

  200. PantsFan   13 years ago

    Rickard's Taster Pack.
    The only way to get the new Rickard's Blonde

  201. BigT   13 years ago

    Newt kisses local ass

  202. voxpo   13 years ago

    Newt praises the single digit guys.

  203. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Michelle Bachmann: Thank god, we drummed Uncle Tom off our stage.

  204. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Michele Bachmann: Herman Cain and voters are morons.

  205. Michelle   13 years ago

    The people are stupid, no words longer than 5 letters!

  206. flacid tuna   13 years ago

    Bachmann won.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Are you turgid yet?

      1. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

        Girl, you'll be a woman soon
        Please come take my hand
        Girl, you'll be a woman soon
        Soon, you'll need a man

  207. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Bachmann: People are easily confused and need retarded slogans instead.

  208. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    I'm drunk. I won.

  209. beezle   13 years ago

    from former R candidate for prez, to hawking scams on retirees! Go Fred!

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Don't forget his stint as NYC district attorney.

  210. pmp   13 years ago

    Bachman's husband is a fat, ugly piece of shit. It'd be like sleeping with Newt.

    Michelle, honey, come to Papa. Eh?

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      It's just more cushion for her pushin.

      1. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

        Good morning. I love you.
        Now that you're here where you belong,
        I want to be the man you need.
        Just tell me you love me,
        Because I need to hear it, too.
        Just let me be the one you carry deep inside of you.

  211. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Dowd didn't realize he wouldn't be sitting behind a desk on air tonight. Wearing jeans like a farmhand.

  212. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Waiiiiiit. We can't elect the Grinch. HE's TOO FAT ANNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD TOOOOOOO OLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDD.

  213. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

    Tied by love to you, but I was tied too strong.
    Still, I'm afraid of knowin' what leavin' means.
    I know I lived for you in all I tried to do.
    You were the keeper of my dreams.

    Open wide these prison doors.
    Take these chains from 'round my heart.
    Make believe that I'm no more.
    Pay no mind when I depart.
    Need to find another place where love is not just tossed away.
    If you really care for me, open wide these prison doors and set me free.

  214. Apatheist   13 years ago

    Is Amy Walter a vampire?

    1. chris   13 years ago

      That is one white lady. Still, any shade that even is sexy.

      1. Apatheist   13 years ago

        I was also referring to her gimped teeth and manish hair but if that's what your into to each their own.

        1. chris   13 years ago

          Once again my attempt to relate to the taste of the common man failed miserably.

        2. chris   13 years ago

          Wait. Mannish hair is considered a vampire trait? Perhaps you forgot your original intent.

          1. Apatheist   13 years ago

            Perhaps I'm being to logical but the undead shouldn't be capable of growing more hair and therefore the women ones would need to keep their hair short.

            1. Apatheist   13 years ago

              And mainly I thought her canines looked sharp. Don't question my drunken logic!

              1. chris   13 years ago

                Well, Amy Walter ain't replacing Kate Beckensale anytime soon, so you get the better of that one. Don't know what I was thinking. Oh yeah, still buzzing, and the goggles from cheap beer can lead a man astray.

                What's up with Anna Pacquin in the lead in the HBO series? Her teeth are even more jacked than Walters?

                1. Apatheist   13 years ago

                  Kate Beckensale!

                  I'll be in my bunk.

  215. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    No mention of Paul yet in the post-debate hot air balloon inflating.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      But plenty of camera time for that fatty ginger in the green coat.

  216. Jake Tapper   13 years ago

    Yes, I'm a soulless product of our Nations's "journalism" "schools".

  217. pmp   13 years ago

    The ABC folks won't even mention Ron Paul. Weird.

  218. voxpo   13 years ago

    ABC had a quick huddle and decided that Mitt's $10k bet line will be viewed poorly by Iowans. No need to ask any.

  219. David Muir   13 years ago

    Parted Hair Robot PRESENT!

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      I don't like making fun of fatties

      I do.

    2. Arduin Grimoire   13 years ago

      Gold don't rust. Love don't lie.
      I'll be true 'til the day that I die.
      Trust in me; you will find, baby, you're the gold in this heart of mine,
      and that gold will shine for a long, long time.

    3. Apatheist   13 years ago

      I don't like making fun of fatties

      I do.

      1. Apatheist   13 years ago

        Um?

  220. Apatheist   13 years ago

    This post debate coverage is one big circle jerk but I have to agree that Romney did pretty awful.

  221. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    This just in: ABC News loves Newt Gingrich.

    1. smartass   13 years ago

      Doesn't matter. Jimmy Cahtah wants Mitty and that settles it.

  222. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    You know, I don't like making fun of fatties but...it's kind of weird how Newt's gut enters a door before he does.

  223. PantsFan   13 years ago

    Jets played like shit, time for the Kings game.
    Holy shit look at those jerseys is Marcel Dionne playing?

    1. Greg   13 years ago

      Charlie Simmer is gonna light the lamp tonight!

    2. Poet Laureate sloopyinca   13 years ago

      And BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM go the Red Wings.

      Did they have to replace the bulb in the lamp behind Winnipeg's goal?

  224. rsi   13 years ago

    Coupon is pronounced as spelled. Just like mule.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

      I pronounce it cow-PAWN.

  225. Apatheist   13 years ago

    So long Jolanda Jones! Now I'm represented by only one crazy black woman.

  226. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

    Fuck you Santorum you fake fucking piece of anal discharge. God, I hate that fucker.

  227. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Iowa GOP Debate Open Thread and Possible Live-Blogging!

    Way to commit, by the way.

  228. capitol l   13 years ago

    What up dudes? Did Paul get any teevee time?

    1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

      You could have gotten this one with rabbit ears, dude.

      Pens over Isles 6-3, without Gaysby, Staal or Letang. That's what up.

      1. Apatheist   13 years ago

        ABC is telling me that Ryan Seacrest replacing Matt Lauer is whats up. Why haven't I changed the channel yet?

        1. Apatheist   13 years ago

          Wait a second a story about a cheerleader coach who got fired for working part time at hooters. Now this is news.

          1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

            I think the bigger story would be a Hooters coach who got fired for working part time as a cheerleader.

  229. Sevo   13 years ago

    Oh, shucks. I missed something? Did the Donald embarrass himself, or was that...
    Oh, forget it.

  230. LuLu Rockwell   13 years ago

    Ron Paul is my nigga, niggas.

  231. Tulpa   13 years ago

    Rick Santorum is a man among boys, and he likes it.

    1. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      He's like a kid hanging out with Sandusky in a shower...wait...isn't he from PA...HOLY SHIT

  232. Tulpa   13 years ago

    OK seriously, the clown makeup photoshop was funny the first time, but it's a tad played out.

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Romney cocksucking was never funny.

      1. Tulpa   13 years ago

        I'm sure it wasn't. Perhaps you could let me know who was performing the passe penis pleasuring so that I can avoid them.

        1. Apatheist   13 years ago

          Good luck.

        2. Cytotoxic   13 years ago

          Hint: he's as close to you as can be.

    2. Tulpa   13 years ago

      HARCOURT FENTON MUDD!!!

      1. Tulpa   13 years ago

        DIAF, spoofer.

  233. juris imprudent   13 years ago

    A Republican debate, only slightly less painful than running your penis through a meat grinder.

  234. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

    Is this a young Jason Godesky?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      That boy needs to lay off the donuts.

      Wait that's a girl.

      BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

      HAH

      1. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

        Really? Wow. Bonus, I suppose.

        1. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

          Nah, it's a young Newcular

  235. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

    On another note...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....ure=relmfu

    BTW, did I actually miss anything by not watching the debate? I had to work...

    1. Apatheist   13 years ago

      Stop watching that ugly shit and watch some Romanian pop music:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rakG7c4eyk

      1. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

        I dig on that ugly shit, but I will also watch the Romanian stuff. Thanks!

        1. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

          I mean, I dig on the ham. The chick, meh.

          Oh, and here's Ana Popovic...

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPqchOVgQyA

          1. Apatheist   13 years ago

            Europop heterosexuality test:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5bYDhZBFLA&ob=av3e

            1. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

              Yow!

              1. Apatheist   13 years ago

                Back up test:

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_fCqg92qks&ob=av3e

                1. Mr. FIFY   13 years ago

                  Was there music in the background in these videos?

                  1. Apatheist   13 years ago

                    I shamelessly admit to liking the music too:

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related

        2. Apatheist   13 years ago

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNfFTuIk-dQ

  236. rather   13 years ago

    Things you learn from an open thread:

    #1.

    1. Joe M   13 years ago

      Your learning disabilities do not interest us.

      1. rather   13 years ago

        #1. thinks he's part of a collective. What is your designation?

        #2

      2. Warty   13 years ago

        Who are you talking to?

        1. rather   13 years ago

          Things you learn from an open thread:

          #1. thinks he's part of a collective. What is your designation?

          #2. Warty doesn't really incif me 🙁

    2. Old Mexican   13 years ago

      Re: Rather,

      Things you learn from an open thread:

      #1.

      That you would rather whore with librarians than anybody else....

  237. Warty   13 years ago

    All right, Welch, you diabolical prick, I coughed up some more.

    1. rather   13 years ago

      your $25 made me lol. I don't think that miser donation paid for 30 seconds of legal fees you made Reason incur

  238. Old Mexican   13 years ago

    "I don't think we should have to talk about it [a candidate's commitment to his wife{ves}]," Ron Paul says, about fidelity, and then pivots wisely: "What about your oath of office?" Good applause paragraph!

    Schwing!!!!!!

    Jesse Walker: "Cheers to Ron Paul, who managed to turn a question about Newt Gingrich's [philandering] penis into a libertarian stump speech."

    Applause!!!!

  239. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

    "Rick Santorum is the only candidate I like more than I did at the beginning of this campaign. I do not know how to feel about this."

    You need to be re-educated. Santorum's critics have devoted considerable attention to refuting his ideas through the evidence-based process of linking his name with disgusting substances, and now you're ruining the whole scheme by actually mentioning that you're getting to like him better.

    This invalidates the whole Pavlovian experiment of discrediting someone simply by heaping insults on him.

    1. Old Mexican   13 years ago

      Re: Eduard van Haalen,

      This invalidates the whole Pavlovian experiment of discrediting someone simply by heaping insults on him.

      It certainly distracts from the fact that Santorum is a warmongering, statist nutjob.

    2. Fluffy   13 years ago

      I think you have the order of events wrong here.

      Many people decided they hated Santorum and his ideas (and for good reason) and decided to link his name to disgusting substances not to refute him but merely to make him suffer, in accordance with the moral law.

      You seem to think the question of whether or not Santorum was scum was still open when the name-linking fun began, and it wasn't. This was an outcome, and not a process.

  240. Old Mexican   13 years ago

    Where's Gary Johnson?

    Who cares?

  241. Joey SUmm   13 years ago

    Sounds like a pretty good plan to me dude. Wow.

    http://www.SurfingPrivacy.tk

  242. Almanian   13 years ago

    Was there a "debate" last night or something? I call those things "glorified interviews". Debates were, like, Lincoln/Douglas/The Debate Team things with positions and arguments and one or two topics and stuff.

    Back to football!

  243. JohnBissell   13 years ago

    This IS the worst blog ever, loserville.

  244. JohnBissell   13 years ago

    This IS the worst blog ever, loserville.

  245. fsdghfd   13 years ago

    ==== http://www.sipostyle.com ====
    Online Store,Get Name Brand Fashion From 12USD Now!
    Lv,Gucci,Prada,Coach,Chanel sunglasses is $9.88
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