Should the Government Continue to Pick on Four Loko?
Last year the FDA, working alongside the Treasury Department's Tax & Trade Bureau and the FTC, wrongly banned Four Loko and other beers by prohibiting them from directly adding caffeine to their beverages. Facing insurmountable government pressure, Four Loko did exactly as the government demanded and removed the caffeine, then continued to sell its caffeine-free products. Case closed.
Or not! Fast forward about a year to the present. People continue to make all sorts of claims about Four Loko, linking it to everything from a police shooting to ineffective convenience store robbery getaways. News outlets still breathlessly do things like reproduce press releases issued by breathless attorneys general verbatim, and still top them with their own scare headlines like "Four Loko's size too devious for average customer, must be stopped!"
All the chatter comes as Four Loko is on the verge of a settlement with the FTC. Under the settlement--approved by the unamious vote of five FTC commissioners--Four Loko will admit no wrongdoing over marketing and labeling of the alcohol content of its beverages. Four Loko will also add still more alcohol-content information to its cans, which already boast a half-dozen different statements in at least ten locations describing Four Loko's alcohol content and the fact consumers must show an identification to purchase the drink. And Four Loko will debut a resealable can.
Phew. Case closed.
Or still not! Though this is obviously sufficient for the FTC, the settlement is subject to public comment. And some groups want the FTC to press Four Loko to make even more concessions. Like what? Eat Drink Politics, a new group headed by my friend and frequent sparring partner Michele Simon, a public-health lawyer, alleges in comments filed last month that there are a host of so-called problems with Four Loko, including that the drink "will still be sold in 23.5 cans, with up to12% alcohol, with sweeteners." This argument also echoes the general complaint of respondent-advocates that the Four Loko can is simply too… big.
Well, one man's flaw is another man's feature. After all a bottle of champagne can contain just as much alcohol, can taste just as sweet, and is also not sold in a resealable container. But I have yet to come across an FTC consent order on champagne marketing, nor have I seen well-heeled college professors like Marion Nestle (a co-signer of the Eat Drink Politics comment) rallying the public-health community against champagne. And I suspect that this may have something to do with the fact champagne is a symbol of wealthy celebration, while Four Loko is one of twenty(oneplus)something celebration.
Thumb through Reason's voluminous coverage of the assault on Four Loko here. And read my pre-prohibition analysis of the rationale behind banning Four Loko here.
Check out the Federal Register notice on the proposed settlement here. You can submit your own comments (brief, long, whatever) on the matter here. Read comments that have already been submitted (both in favor of and against the proposed FTC action) here.
And here's a great Reason.tv video looking at why Four Loko was banned in the first place.
Baylen Linnekin is the director of Keep Food Legal, a nonprofit dedicated to preserving and increasing "culinary freedom," the right of all Americans to grow, sell, prepare and eat foods of their own choosing. To join or learn more about the group's activities, go here. To follow Keep Food Legal on Twitter, go here; to follow Linnekin, go here.
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No gamboling drunk.
After all a bottle of champagne can contain just as much alcohol, can taste just as sweet, and is also not sold in a resealable container.
"But lovey-dear, this FourKookoo or whatever it's called is being foist upon those ignorant coloreds. We know they just can't help themselves."
"The charge is FourLoko drinking. Now, my caddy's chauffeur informs me that FourLoko is a beverage that people who can't afford proper champagne drink. Therefore, drinking a FourLoko is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes, drinking of cheap champagne."
C-
+1 me
Epsisiarch is a sensitive little guy. He still wets the bed and everything!
+1 me
Don't feed me, dammit!
Or dance!
+2 me
No thanks. I like men.
+1 me
I could do this all day, but I have a life.
Ta ta, boys!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
+10 me for that hilarious statement.
i dont know if epi still wets the bed but he dont take criticism lightly thats for sure
Still no life?
+1 me.
Then pull up your pants.
No life, I see.
+1 me
I have a life and still manage to make the odd joke on here. I resent the idea that anyone who posts here repeatedly has no life!
Purple. Blue. Green. Orange. Yellow.
Your favorite girls, or your favorite FL flavors? Or both?
dibbs on orange
I wonder what purple tastes like..
Agreed
I believe the proper intertubes way to say this (adjusted for my specific input) is: 2,4,5,1,3.
After all a bottle of champagne can contain just as much alcohol, can taste just as sweet, and is also not sold in a resealable container.
Maybe the champagne you buy, Mr. Moneybags.
Public servants cannot invest that much effort into demonizing something only to backtrack later and let the evildoer make a profit off their evildoings. Children are at stake.
Waiting.
Also, the FDA successfully knocked out Moonshot 69, the beer with caffeine.
I saw the (excellent) documentary Beer Wars, which featured Moonshot. I already felt bad for the woman trying to launch it. I wonder if she's regrouped and formulated another beer yet.
I felt horrible for her when I saw the film. I felt even worse when I found out it was filmed from 2004-2006, and Moonshot was banned in 2009 (which legal BS lasting until Feb 2011 IIRC).
I should have added: She obviously worked her ass off to keep that beer viable for at least 3 years. Then, to have it just fucking stolen from her for no reason - it really makes me want to punch someone at the FDA.
Props to the free market...her shit would've failed without any federal involvement. She's a half-ass marketing girl who pays others for gimmicky beer recipes. Fucking her.
Nobody tell them about... well, let's just call it "oubleDay astardBay".
I wonder if 4 Loko, Inc. isn't keeping the nannies stirred up for all the free publicity. And its exactly the kind of publicity they want, given their target market.
"Hell, boys. We don't need an advertising budget. We just need to keep the nellies at the FDA in pearl-clutching mode. That way, we get free publicity about how edgy and dangerous this swill is."
That's a pretty dangerous game to play, unless they're backed by some real money. If they've paid into the Beer lobby, okay, otherwise...
Couldn't agree more. And fuck co-founder chris hunter and the horse that scumbag rode in on.....i wonder if the IRS has been looking into that prick yet?
I've never had a Four Loko. Is it any good?
If you're a 22 yr-old female, or a male of any age with an interest in intoxicating a 22 yr-old female, then yes.
Otherwise, there's much better out there.
Ooh, I'll have to try it. My tastes trend toward fruity and girly.
Nah, if you really wanna impress the group, do like my wife did and get into lambics. It's hardcore beer, but it tastes like fruit.
Oh I'm all about some Lindeman's. The problem with it is that it has very little alcohol. I'm looking for something that tastes like sugar but will put me on my ass.
I had one Four Loko, only because the FDA started fucking with them. "Ass" would be a kind description of it's taste. You're better off with Malibu Run or Bailey's.
I generally stick to rum and cokes or bourbon and cokes, you know, because I'm into that "dangerous" mix of alcohol and caffeine.
"Baileys was the first 44% liqueur to use cream, honey, coffee, cocoa and alcohol together..."
Thanks for reminding me that I had Bailey's. Had. Yum.
Fucking American. That's not a Lambic.
This is a Lambic. http://www.cantillon.be/br/3_108
Cantillon rules the world...
I've never heard Lindeman's being described as a hardcore beer. Have you heard about this new chick beer? Totally up yer alley.
The red taste like Diesel fuel and the blue tastes like bad guanara
well...there's always bath salts to fall back on.
Giant Brain #1: Well, here we are. Trapped for eternity.
Giant Brain #2: We could sing 'American Pie'.
Fry: Go ahead. I deserve it.
+10 me
I thought you had a life?
So she spoofed you by quoting something that you would quote? Good thinking there, rectal.
Bender: Don't worry guys, I'll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I'll just be me.
Leela: Uh, do you think you could be just little less evil than that?
+10 me. Good thinking, rectal projection.
You do not fall back on bath salts, you sit back in them -- in water.
wtf is that?
So when the FDA forces 4Loko to use smaller cans, the headlines will be "BUTT-BONGS - THE NEW TEEN CRAZE: KIDS HIDING 'CONCEALABLE' ALCOHOL-LACED FRUIT JUICE CANS IN RECTUMS!!!11!"
Definitely. Maybe. Yes. Yes. No.
NINJA I go Loko for Four Loko. http://youtu.be/KVWWre8tn_U
Finally!
This nanny douche is your friend? God, is he always hovering over you, making sure you don't add too much salt? I hope his kids hate him.