Reason Morning Links: Mitch McConnell Is in Trouble, Florida Cops Kill Man Holding Toy Gun, Arizona Cop Tasers Mentally Ill Man After He Surrenders


  • Minority Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell, AKA King Sellout, isn't polling so well in his home state of Kentucky. 
  • The 9/11 Commission has released a 10-year report card on the War on Terror. Turns out, it has actually been a war on civil liberties! 
  • Cops shoot and kill a Miami man who was walking around with a toy rifle. 
  • A tribal cop tasered a mentally ill man outside a Golden Corral. The man had put his hands up and surrendered, but wouldn't turn around. 
  • NJ's public sector unions are suing Gov. Chris Christie. 
  • "Opening a pot shop in D.C. means signing a paper that says you're a criminal."

New at "Michigan Bar Owners Ban Lawmakers for Banning Smoking! (Nanny of the Month, Aug 2011)"


NEXT: Friday Funnies

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  1. That’s why I always walk around with a real rifle.

    1. there was an encounter with the man

      That’s rather short on specifics. Conjecture away, Balkobots!

      1. this is all over the local news her in south Florida. The family disputes the toy gun and is canvasing witnesses. they claim 20 witnesses say they didn’t see any toy gun.

        The police have thusfar declined to release the “several” 911 calls reporting a man with a rifle. They have also said they will consider releasing photos of the toy rifle.

  2. Cops shoot and kill a Miami man who was walking around with a toy rifle.

    A tribal cop tasered a mentally ill man outside a Golden Corral. The man had put his hands up and surrendered, but wouldn’t turn around.

    The rare Friday morning double nut punch.


      1. It sounds like Miami has figured out a pretty effective toy gun control measure.

      2. May one parade around with a toy Taser?

        1. Toy taser? Yes.

          Improvised Taser? No.…..eird_news/

    2. I posted this yesterday…no bandit love i guess

      1. Your 9.2.11 @ 10:46 Hankering has been cataloged and appropriately tsk’d.

        1. Is the blue line for rescuing princeses?


    Cop who was caught on camera having sex on the hood of his car while in uniform while on duty gets administrative leave a paid vacation and no charges are filed.

    Anyone who was not a cop would get fired and have charges filed.

    Must be nice.

    1. $10 says she was a hooker.

      1. That’s why the cop nailed her.

      2. Every girl’s got her price.

    2. I wonder whether he’ll spend his vacation nailing whores on the hood of his car, in between doing talk shows?

    3. Have charges filed for having sex on the job? It might be unprofessional, but it’s definitely not illegal. Unless you’re alleging she was a prostitute.

      1. It’s not like they were in the closet. This was outside on a car.

        Public indecency?
        Lewd and lascivious behavior?

        1. I’ve had sex outside too many times, and must have forgotten it’s still technically illegal. Damn consensual victimless crimes!

          1. I just want to see a cop have to register as a sex offender.

          2. If I gotta accidentally see THAT, it’s not victimless.

        2. Nothing to see here, move along people.

    4. “Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frouned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of places and I tell you peope do that all the time.”

  4. I’m surprised that Reason hasn’t included any links this week from the drumbeat of stories pushing for “Ugly” to be added to the list of protected employment categories that can sue for discrimination.

    1. “The court takes judicial notice of your ugliness.”

    2. and who would judge the ugly?

    3. Are we talking naturally ugly or all ugly? Because some people just need to put down the fork and do some situps to no longer be ugly. That’s hardly fair to protect them along with people who would still be ugly after $250k of plastic surgery.

      1. all ugly goes clear to the bone

        1. just like retard goes clear to the bone derp

          1. old mex knows all about the bone

            1. And you know all about real ugly to the bone.

      2. Spot training is a myth!

    4. Hmmm…I wonder who will self-identify as ugly to gain membership in a protected class?

      Isn’t this all a little subjective?*

      *In most cases. I admit, Joseph Merrick would have a real case.

      1. O Ugly
        O Not Ugly

        1. Is Lazy next?

      2. “I’m ugly on the inside.”

    5. Finally, Sloth find job. Sloth love DoJ!

    6. It was in the Morning Links one day from a commenter. Suddenly they are shy about reaping stories from them now…

      1. I…see…

        Where are the hat tips, [Murtaugh voice] Riiiiigggssss?

      2. It’s all the subsequent demands for hat tips. Their hats would never stay on their noggins, so it’s not worth it.

        1. For the record, demanding hat tips for Morning Links comment-posted stories has been officially dubbed “Hankering.”

          1. If that catches on, maybe it will help me finally get Time for Timer out of my head.

    7. The real problem is that after this law is passed everyone will assume that I’m only successful because I was an Affirmative Action for the Ugly hire.

      1. I don’t think you have to worry about anyone assuming you’re successful.

    8. We need a constitutional amendment to make everyone equally ugly, and institute an Uglifier General.

        1. We have a winner.

    9. My mother dresses me funny. Does that count?

  5. Yay for morning links before classes. What kind of grad program holds a class at or before 9am every day? If I wanted to be thinking at 9am, I’d have kept my real job.

    1. If you had had a “real” job, you wouldn’t be in grad school.

      1. I quit a $45/hr consulting gig to start a ChemE PhD. Yeah. I don’t want to write .Net websites for another 10 years. Fuck that. Poor and not hating my life is better than well off and bored stupid.

        1. I’m just messin’ with ya. Get back to studying.

      2. Not necessarily. I quit a real job to go to B school. When you consider the more than 100% increase in salary range I could qualify for when I graduated plus the full tuition scholarship, my ROI was through the roof.

  6. Some day “incompetence” will be added and we’ll all live in a worker’s paradise.

    1. Supposed to be a response to Fluffy.

      1. I’m sure you’d like a government program to subsidize your commenting incompetence, too.

        1. Wouldn’t hurt.

      2. Showing our incompetence in anticipation, are we?

        1. Gotta have a compelling case to present to HR.

    2. Or just plain stupidity. People can’t help it if they are naturally stupid. Why should they be kept out of a job just because they are stupid, incompetent and unqualified?

      1. Because they can just go work for the government?

      2. Stupidity has a knack of getting its way. -Albert Camus

    3. They already did that in England. I forget the specifics, but basically, you can’t place ads referencing competence.

  7. Turns out, it has actually been a war on civil liberties!

    At least we have a president who really cares about civil liberties and will change this trend. Right?

    1. Sure. Hey, I have this friend who is a nigerian prince…

    2. The terrorists hated us for our freedoms, so in order to protect us the government is taking away our freedoms so the terrorist won’t hate us anymore.

  8. The new ploy for criminals will be claiming to be mentally challenged or autistic. In a country where apparently anyone can label himself “Black” this should be easy.

  9. Wow… the camera guy in the tard-tasing video was actually cheering on the cop in hopes of getting some taser footage for YouTube. The other lowlight was the cop shouting “stop moving” while giving the tasee another jolt, thus ensuring that he’ll writhe in pain.

    1. I “enjoyed” the camera guy going out of his way to inform the cop of the videoing — *after* his 2-year-old-brained acquaintance had been zapped.

    2. The other lowlight was the cop shouting “stop moving” while giving the tasee another jolt, thus ensuring that he’ll writhe in pain.

      Apparently the cop is too stupid to realize the phrase is “STOP RESISTING!”

      1. I thought it was “FREEZE!”

  10. More than 20 unions and individuals representing teachers, firefighters, police officers and other public employees claim the law enacted June 28 violates the U.S. and state constitutions by forcing them to pay more for pensions and health insurance.

    Because you have a Constitutional right to have someone else pay for your pension and health insurance. Unfuckingbelievable.

    1. Too bad we can’t tase people for being stupid.

      1. Ha! I do it all the time!

        1. No, you tase people because you’re stupid.

          1. I rest my case.

    2. I have altered the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.

    3. Fucking leeches, the lot of them.

  11. I’m just looking forward to two nights without Lady Humungus and my heir. Somehow she wrangled my Grand Marquis for her trip while I’m stuck with her Element. btw – because of gearing and aerodynamics, the 4.6L V8 Marquis actually gets better highway mileage than the 2.3L 4-pot in the Honda.

    1. All this time I thought you rode around in a tricked out dune buggy.

    2. It will protect them better as well, particularly the pneumatic crossbow array.

      1. exactly. plus it rides better and is quieter on the highway.

    3. Better aerodynamics than a rolling box? How could tha be?

      1. magic.

    4. “because of gearing and aerodynamics, the 4.6L V8 Marquis actually gets better highway mileage than the 2.3L 4-pot in the Honda.”


      1. can’t tell if stupid or sarcastic…

        but if anyone cares – I average 25-26mpg with the Marquis with pure highway driving. The Element gets 23ish.

        However, in the city, the Merc gets a sucky 15-16 while the Element is a steady 20-21.

      2. Bullshit.

        Not at all. On the highway, where wind resistance is a real factor, that V-8 (pushing a fairly sleek body) is going to be turning at probably under 2,000rpm, whereas the Honda’s engine is going to be spinning a lot faster. Pushing a blunt instrument like the Element through the air at 60mph is hard work for that little engine, and it’s going to show in terms of poorer highway mileage.

        1. I have yet to find someone who belives me when I tell them I had a ’99 Cobra that got 30Mpg hwy… Dead fucking serious. Used to drive the I-70 corridor a lot and the Stang got awesom mileage. Too bad it had a fucking thimble for a gas tank.

          1. and yes, when I laid into it the mileage was much worse. The first week I had it I got 11. Hehe, that was a good week.

            1. I bet! I bought a new Mustang GT when they came out with the new bodystyle in ’05, and at 60mph, the engine was turning at something like 1600rpm. How can you NOT get good mileage that way??

              I don’t think there’s a car made that has a sweeter exhaust note than the Mustang; the Cobra only improves on that.

    5. Which one has the nitro and the dead bodies strapped to the front?

      1. my other car which I just use for pursuit and wasteland driving.

        1. Wasteland wasteland or urban wasteland? I can think of a few parts of Houston where a dead body strapped to the hood would send the right message.

        2. At least you’ve got a plan for peak oil…

          1. What a puny plan!

    6. I know a guy who’s a design engineer for Honda in the U.S. He says their internal nickname for the Element was the “Smellement.”

  12. the 9/11 Commission recommended creating a Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board to monitor actions across the government

    Think we’ll *ever* see anyone get PCLOBbered?

    1. “Sponsered by SAIC, Kellogg Brown Root, and Blackwater!”

  13. NJ’s public sector unions are suing Gov. Chris Christie.

    I imagine something like this this happening in every state, eventually. There’s no way this doesn’t end in riots somewhere.

    1. There’s no way this doesn’t end in riots somewhere.

      ** rising intonation **

      Of course, we could crack down on social networking.

    2. I imagine something like this this happening in every state, eventually. There’s no way this doesn’t end in riots somewhere everywhere.

      I think this is more accurate…

    3. Mobs of governors rioting against the perceived injustice of it? Yeah, I can see that.

    4. I hope they have public employee union riots everywhere. I would love to get a chance to crack some government employee skulls and have a reasonable chance at getting away with it.

    1. At least it was pink. The raft, I mean.

    2. But, but, I swear the raft said it was manufactured eighteen years ago!
      I swear!

      1. You should have seen how that raft was dressed.

        1. Exactly – I’m sure the raft deserved it. Probably even wanted it, deep down. So to speak.

          1. Do you think the guy wore a rubber?

            1. How would you like to be trapped in an inflatable life boat with that dude?

              “Goddammit, you better not poke a hole in that!”

            2. That’s how he got caught. The sound of rubber furiously rubbing against more rubber had everyone’s attention.

      2. The raft was not unresponsive?

    3. Used an inner tube for a cock ring, biotches!

    4. The worst part is that this is not the first time our protagonist has been arrested fir this offense. “Oh that’s just Jimmy, the town raft-fucker.”

    5. That was already posted in my request for a threadjack the other day. No hat tip for you!

      1. I LOOM AGAIN.

    6. are we sure this isn’t Steve Smith?

    7. The article says he had earlier been sentenced to “community control” for a previous offense. WTF is that? That has to be the most Orwellian sounding punishment I’ve heard of yet.

      Also, this appears to have happened in Ohio. No surprise there, but anyone know what town?

      1. “That has to be the most Orwellian sounding punishment I’ve heard of yet.”

        Where I work, fucking up can lead to what HR calls “Positive Discipline”.

        Thank you. Mistress HR. May I have another?

    8. Raftfucking Seabaggers.

    9. This is illegal now? Fuck.

    10. Oh, is this one of those guys Weigel was talking about?

  14. A tribal cop tasered a mentally ill man outside a Golden Corral.

    Hm…TRIBbal…TRIBation…that’s almost the same as PRIVation. This can’t be a coincidence.

    1. And what happens at a Corral? [AGRI]business.

    2. I was hoping for a [TRIB]bing link out of you, Warty. Guess I’ll have to find one on my own.

  15. SugarFree Question Of The Day

    What is your superpower? What’s the one thing you do better than almost anyone else you know?

    Mine is a preternatural skill in finding parking places.

    1. Does picking up heavy shit for no reason count? Otherwise, mine is judging people.

      1. Does picking up heavy shit for no reason count?

        Of course, you “pick up heavy shit” for very good reasons.

        Hey, maybe that’s how SF “finds” those parking places.

      2. Does picking up heavy shit for no reason count?

        Of course, you “pick up heavy shit” for very good reasons.

        Hey, maybe that’s how SF “finds” those parking places.

      3. Judging people is a super power and a valuable one. My mother had it in spades. I sadly, didn’t inherit it. I have a bad habit of taking people as they some rather than understanding upfront what duplicitous scumbags most of them are like my mother did.

        1. Your super power is spelling.

    2. Talking at an inappropriately loud volume whenever I get excited. It’s a pretty terrible superpower, I admit.

      1. The Aquaman of Hit ‘n Run commentators. 😉

        1. I also had a gritty reboot with a beard and a harpoon for a hand.

        2. “It’s SeaMAN!”

      2. I have the power to talk louder than anyone else in the room. It gets bad when someone else THINKS they have this power.

        1. it seems my wife’s family all have this power. Holiday get-togethers feel like a Greek Wedding minus the drunken debauchery.

          On the other hand, my family is quiet. We used to all read books during supper!

    3. That’s not the superpower I would have named for you, but ….

      Anyway, mine is the ability to lock all my finger joints with the ones closest to the nails bent and the others straight. Fortunately, I have never had to use this power in actual combat.

      1. Oh, I’m also good at double posting.

      2. Oh, I’m also good at double posting.

        (I’m Rich’s sidekick.)

        1. And Fist is good at ….

          1. You know who else didn’t finish his sentences?

            1. Jeffrey Dahmer?

              1. Tim is just like Dahmer. You do not want to be Tim’s sidekick.

                1. Huh, I don’t know why I dragged Tim into this. Meh, either way.

    4. I can recognize animation voice-overs. Pathetic.

      1. Thomas the Train IS GEORGE CARLIN!!!!

        1. Mr Conductor is George Carlin–or Ringo Starr. Thomas doesn’t talk.

    5. I can consume quantities of alcohol that would kill most mortals, and then drink more.

    6. I can pick up when people are acting just like Hitler without realizing it. Yeah, I can do that from miles away. Also, telekinesis.

      1. I think your true superpower breaking a Friday “Funny” of its pretensions of hilarity.

        1. And yours is making a sentence fragment almost read like a sentence.

          1. Dang you sloopy, I even previewed that sum’bitchn’ comment.

            My real superpower seeing ‘is’ where there no ‘is’.

            1. I can determine what people would look like if they were actually cartoon characters.

              1. I used to be able to look at older women and see what they looked like when younger. Now that I’m older, I look at young women and see what they’ll look like older.

                The first one was better.

                1. Ah, that should be called “Mary Tyler Moore Syndrome.”

    7. Useless trivia. Unfortunately, its the full Cliff Clavan. I only remember trivia when nothing is on the line. Otherwise, its “who are three guys who have never been in my kitchen?”

    8. Bulletproof, only not for ammunition style bullets, but the kinds of bullets you use in Powerpoint presentations.

    9. Trivia. I need to go audition for Jeopardy sometime or go to New York and try to get on Cash Cab. I would own those games. I literally have walked into bars having trivia contests and played alone against teams of five or six and won.

      1. John … we were wasted.

        1. You had a designated driver.

      2. I think you can take the test online now I think.

        Back when I was on they did regional tryouts but I think they changed that.

        1. Ya think?

          1. I think that, yeah, I think.


      3. John, same here. But, I’m also pretty sure if I were in the studio, my success rate would drop precipitously.

        1. I am sure it is a lot harder on camera. But before I die, I need to try.

          1. Well, there’s that whole “buzzing in timing” thing too. If you hit the button too soon before the system unlocks, you get frozen out for a moment.

            I’m content to play DVR Jeopardy. See the question, hit pause before a contestant can answer. I work about a 90% clip, except for literature and poetry categories, which I notoriously suck at.

        2. The problem in the studio is that the other two people know the easy ones, too.

          And that makes that fucking button very, very important.

          That’s one reason I wasn’t that surprised that the computer did so well. It had a huge built-in advantage because it was buzzing in based on machine logic, and not trying to manually time it “just right”.

          1. Yeah, fuck Deep Blue. The arrogant bastard.

            1. It also cheated. It should have had to OCR the board and/or use voice recognition tech. None of this answers being input bullshit.

              1. Yes, I thought that too.

          2. I sometimes wonder if Ken Jennings’ dominant run was based on freakish buzzer timing as opposed to just knowing that much.

            1. I think buzzer timing is about 90% of it.

              I’ve been watching the show for a long time and get most (70-90%, depending) of the questions right, so they can’t be that hard.

            2. Buzzer timing is most of it. It takes awhile to get the hang of when to buzz in. You have to wait until Trebek finishes reading the question, then some guy off stage flips a switch and lights on either side of the bank of screens go on (or turn off, I forget). Then, you can buzz in. Try it ahead of that time and you’re locked out for ~5 seconds.

        3. The Jeopardy regional tryouts were a bitch. I got invited to one about 10 years ago, and it’s nothing like the show until you get to the third round of tryouts. The first two are a bunch of basic q&a, kinda like the show, but with a lot more than 3 people…and you’re seated, which makes a huge difference.
          Round 2 had a lot fewer trivia questions asked and a lot more personal q&a stuff. Basically, they want to see how you are going to look on tv. You’re standing but again, much more than 3 people at a time.
          Round 3 is a full mock up of the set, and uses the show format. They had 12 of us make it to that stage, and I won my group but did not get invited to be in the final 3 to play into the big show. They said I “wasn’t what they were looking for.”

          I guess they wanted a geek as opposed to some guy who worried more about hitting on a few of the chicks on the crew and the scores of the football games that were being played while we were there.

          If I’d have gotten on the show, I have no doubt I would have either won or been removed by force for excessive foulnlanguage.

      4. Destroying pub quizzes is another of my superpowers. It would be nicer to have a super power that gets me laid, though.

        1. I’m pretty brutal at pub quizzes, especially anything movie related. The only trivia I’m terrible at is sports.

          1. Sports trivia is always either football, baseball, or basketball. I only like football, so I tend to get killed on the rest.

            1. That is where I excel, I am a master of sports trivia but know all the science and lit stuff too. The sports geeks never know the science and history stuff and the history and science geeks never know the sports stuff. But I know them both.

              1. Only player ever to score two Grand Slams in the same inning?

                1. Is this a sports question or a Denny’s question?

                2. Fernando Tatis, btw.

                  1. You would be correct sloopy.

    10. I am able to pound nails into wood with my dick.

      OK, I’m lying. I have no superpowers.

      1. I am able to pound nails into inflatable rafts with my dick.

        1. I am able to pound nails into my dick with a piece of wood. But I don’t. Little known fact: it hurts.

    11. The ability to still remember the locations of all hidden items and secret doors from the Legend of Zelda.

      They’re a secret to everybody.

    12. parallel parking. And finding the physical weak-spot of anyone.

      I can also magically find the one object to trip over. You can give me a room the size of a football field with nothing in it and I will somehow find a way to trip myself.

    13. I can play WoW for 3 days straight while only taking 3 bathroom breaks.

    14. What is your superpower?

      Getting complete strangers to take a swing at me. I could have anyone locked up for assault by sundown.

      1. I can make heller, Episiarch and SugarFree go bonkers.

    15. Avoiding traffic accidents as they’re happening, no doubt.

    16. Joint popping. You name a joint: I can pop it.

      In a few decades I will develop a NEW superpower known as full-body arthritis.

    17. I can melt snow, merely by holding it in my hand.

    18. I see annoying people.

    19. When I was younger, I used to work as a cook. There was usually a radio playing. I acquired the ability to turn the lyrics of any song into something sexual.

      Born to be Wild: becomes

      Yeah, darling gonna make it happen
      Take that whore in a loving embrace,
      fire all of my cum at once and,
      Explode in her face

      1. Do a Bieber song.

        1. I guess I should say that I can do it with any song that I have heard. Since I won’t ever (please Science) be listening to a Bieber song that won’t be happening.

      2. I found you could substitute “drugs” for “love” in most songs and they make sense – Bad company especially

        When I think about you
        I think about druuuuu-uuugs
        If I live without you
        I live without druuuuu-uuuugs

        Feel like taking..
        Feel like taking drugs
        Feel like taking drugs with you

    20. I can turn beer into urine.

    21. I was very good at school. I figured out early on that what you think is important is irrelevant. Just find out what the teacher thinks is important, and give it right back to them on a test or paper or whatever. You get an A every time. There was no point in arguing with a teacher.

      I also determined that though I figured it out, the entire system was bullshit. After I graduated, I’ve managed to stay the hell away from any type of school for the last 15 years.

      1. I argued with a lot of my teachers yet still got straight A’s, but then, I was smarter than them.

        1. Turns out everyone on the Internet is smarter than everyone else on Earth. True story.

    22. I make improbably insensitive comments. The most recent example is making fun of the retards who treat railing like a drunk voluptuous chick in a bar. Turns out some guy’s cousin was one of those idiots who fell of a hotel on spring break.

      1. The day I met my wife she was looking sad, so when I walked into the room and saw her I blurted “Jeez, it’s like someone’s cat died or something” I was right, hers did the night before.

        1. Visiting my best friend when he was attending Vanderbilt. We were at a coffee shop that had several large paintings on the wall.

          My friend asked, “What do you think of them?”

          I blurted out, “They suck! I wouldn’t pay more than $2 for them.”

          Two tables over, a guy stands up, slams his fists on the table and walks out.

          My friend: “That was the artist.”

          Being Tennessee, I was half-expecting a shotgun blast when I left.

          1. I once gave a 5-minute rant about how much the Honors Dept sucked within two feet of the Head of the Honors Dept.

            1. I was in that Honors Program. Hard to tell if I raised or lowered the bar.

    23. Bitchin’ riffs, man. I can’t pick up a guitar without mind blowing, face melting riffs blowing minds and melting faces.

      1. And always knowing which direction is north, while never remembering which is left and which is right.

        1. Point your thumbs towards each other and extend your index fingers. The one that forms the L is left.

          Unfortunately, they both look like Ls to me.

          1. I actually have to pantomime writing something in the air to remember that I “write” with my “right” hand. If I were left-handed I’d be fucked.

            1. Are you retarded?

    24. the ability to get rear-ended within two weeks of purchasing a car. I’m 9 for 9 right now. Only two of them were off-the-lot new, so it’s not as aggravating as it seems.

      1. That sounds analogous to my mother-in-law’s superpower, which is to have a deer commit suicide by jumping in front of her brand-new car while she is driving it. She isn’t 9 for 9, but I think she’s 4 for 4. Perhaps she could be your sidekick until she reaches your level of prowess.

        1. With my luck I’d hit the deer and your MIL would rear-end me.

    25. If unencumbered by a slow walking companion, I am the fastest sidewalk/mall/airport walker. I can magically avoid the slow/fat/decrepit obstacles that delay mere mortals.

      1. I would like to challenge you to an airport obstacle navigation duel. That’s a pretty bitchin’ superpower to have.

      2. I’m a high-speed walker, too.

        1. Me too. And until last Monday, no one has ever passed me while walking downtown (or anywhere really). And the person who did was a women in her early twenties. I wanted to congratulate her, but I figured she’d think it was a really bad pickup line.

      3. I worked at a mall for two years and had to navigate from one side to the other to get food on my lunchbreaks. I could get through busy Christmas shoppers carrying a full tray of food on the way to the break room without spilling my coke.

        1. I can trip and fall. Usually over nothing. This superpower seems to really kick in when I’m in crowded, public places. I am so good at it that the act of falling and then springing up as if nothing happened appears to be one, fluid move.

          1. a good friend of mine has a similar ability. At a bar we used to frequent there were two rooms separated by three steps. Stone-cold sober she somehow missed all three steps and landed on her face. Our table errupted in laughter while most of the other patrons were overtly concerned for her well-being. She has magically never broken a bone and has no scars even after totaling three cars in six months.

    26. I can recite the opening narration to the A-Team from memory. I have had this ability since about 1983.

    27. Copy&Pasting; Faster Than a Speeding Bullet.

    28. Knowing the words to any song on the radio- except the Jesus shit.

    29. Marrying beautiful, very successful women who, for some reason, are OK with me being a lazy good-for-nothing slob. And I’m not even handy around the house (except for cooking).

    30. I win at blackjack every fucking time I enter a casino.

      Every. Fucking. Time.

    31. My superpower is getting girl’s parents to like me a lot. This is surprisingly useful – for one thing I know whenever I’m dealing with the pain of a breakup, my ex is going to hear “why did you break up, we liked him so much!” at least once from her folks.

    32. You have to ask?

    33. I am instant karma man. No matter how trivial or how serious, if I make a crack, a joke, a boast, a feint of a boast I am immediatly rebuked by the universe. This is without fail. In Fantasy Football, I say “Jason Elam is the most awesome thing for my team right now cause the scores are so close and he never misses” Next play he snaps his leg.

      This power can affect those around me. My friend is a fantastic golfer (i suck). He says “now don’t hit that shed when you tee off or it wil be embarassing” Out of the 4some (3 of us suck) the only one to hit the shed was him. I laughed on the inside.

      1. I can fart in crowded elevators and successfully blame it on someone else

    34. The lowest knuckles on my thumbs (against the palm) are backwards. I cannot bend my thumb completely across my palm the way everyone else can.

      I remember everything about every video game I’ve ever played.

      Also I just found out I can laugh hysterically without wetting my pants.

    35. I’m incredible at creating awkward situations and killing conversations, Usually through accidentally saying something that has a subtle sexual meaning in a Dr. Tobias Funkeian way…

    36. Getting lost. I have absolutely no sense of direction. I have a 50/50 shot of turning the correct direction, but manage to only get it right 20% of the time. Also, I have perfect tits.

    37. I always know what time it is. I wake up in the morning and know the time within 5 minutes.

  16. In Libya, Former Enemy Is Recast in Role of AllyBy ROD NORDLAND
    Published: September 1, 2011

    TRIPOLI, Libya ? Abdel Hakim Belhaj had a wry smile about the oddity of his situation.

    Yes, he said, he was detained by Malaysian officials in 2004 on arrival at the Kuala Lumpur airport, where he was subjected to extraordinary rendition on behalf of the United States, and sent to Thailand. His pregnant wife, traveling with him, was taken away, and his child would be 6 before he saw him.

    In Bangkok, Mr. Belhaj said, he was tortured for a few days by two people he said were C.I.A. agents, and then, worse, they repatriated him to Libya, where he was thrown into solitary confinement for six years, three of them without a shower, one without a glimpse of the sun.

    Now this man is in charge of the military committee responsible for keeping order in Tripoli, and, he says, is a grateful ally of the United States and NATO.

    And while Mr. Belhaj concedes that he was the emir of the Libyan Islamic Fighting Group, which was deemed by the United States to be a terrorist group allied with Al Qaeda, he says he has no Islamic agenda. He says he will disband the fighters under his command, merging them into the formal military or police, once the Libyan revolution is over.

    He says there are no hard feelings over his past treatment by the United States.

    puts airport patdowns in perspective

    1. And what will this guy be saying once he consolidates power and no longer needs US support?

    2. If he has no problem about receiving this kind of treatment, what kind of treatment to his suspect enemies would give him pause?

    3. where he was thrown into solitary confinement for six years, three of them without a shower, one without a glimpse of the sun.

      So, it was basically a “Seattle hippie” lifestyle?

  17. No mention of Kucinich’s lying Gaddhafi supporting ways?

    1. Well, since the kinetic military action in Libya was illegal, I can’t really get too bent out of shape about Kucinich nosing around for dirt on the rebels to try to politically undermine it.

      Do legal shit, and maybe I’ll get upset if people fuck with you about it.

      But in this case you may as well ask me to get upset because Obama wanted to pull an Ocean’s Eleven casino robbing caper and Kucinich blabbed to Steve Wynn.

      1. So by that logic, it was okay for Joe Kennedy to help the Nazis as ambassador to England because Roosevelt was illegally aiding England at the time. One act doesn’t justify another bad act. The fact that our war violated the War Powers Act doesn’t make Gadafi’s cause any better or in any way excuse aiding it.

        1. That depends on how you define “aiding”.

          He apparently asked Qaddafi for information about the rebels.

          If the rebels were, in fact, crazy Islamist America-haters or what have you, Kucinich is absolutely and without limitation entitled to introduce that information into the national debate about the program.

          That act can’t magically be transformed into a bad one because he wrote a letter to Qaddafi to do it.

          And, actually, before December of 1941 if an American had contacted Berlin to say, “Hey, tell me bad shit about England so I can use it to politically oppose Lend Lease,” there would have been nothing wrong with that, either. Not as long as the information obtained was true, any way. Not unless you’re defining any contact whatsoever with the Nazi regime prior to the outbreak of declared war as “evil”, which would kind of put you in the “Prescott Bush was a Nazi herp derp” school.

          1. If all Kuinich did was write a letter asking for Kadafi’s view of the rebels, then I don’t think he “aided Kadafi”. To me aiding means something like sending him money or doing what Kennedy did passing intelligence to him. Writing a letter is hardly worth noting. At most he stepped on the State Department’s toes. BFD.

            1. That’s about the size of it, yeah.

          2. Aiding, well, cooperating with him in a way which (if successful) helps him cling to power?

            Of course, if Gaddafi had been in power now he would’ve massacred several cities and towns and killed everyone in the popular peoples movement that has arisen against him. Kucinich cooperated with Gaddaffi to try and aid him in staying in power to score a cheap political point. Luckily his efforts were all for naught, however it is plain for everyone to see his true face now. He cares nothing for human rights; he just want to be right.

      2. To put it in terms of your analogy, suppose Obama planned to assassinate the leader of a Mexican drug cartel. That is certainly an illegal act. But in your estimation would I be on the right side if I went down and aided the cartel in fighting our illegal act?

        1. What Kucinich did was more on the order of calling a cartel figure and saying, “Tell me about any corrupt DEA dudes you know and also give me any info you have on this whole ATF gunrunning thingee so I can smack Obama around with that info for a while.”

          Honestly, I can’t see anything wrong with that. At all.

          Hell, if we were talking about going after the ATF for their illegal acts, I can easily see you doing it.

          1. I agree. See my above post. I didn’t realize that was all he did. When the guy above said “aided”, I assumed he was taking money or something. Writing a letter doesn’t constitute “aiding” in my opinion. So the whole story is a nothing.

            1. Kucinich didn’t send it postage due, so he materially aided Quaddaffi.

              1. If he were a private citizen, that’s what it would say on the indictment.

        2. It depends on what you mean by “help”.

          Going down their to aide an escape or fight in a battle wouldn’t be acceptable, but yelling it out on the nightly news would be acceptable.


    Unexpectedly, there was zero job growth in August.

    1. And as always released on a Friday. Seriously, do they really think everyone is at their beach house and doesn’t read the paper from Thursday to Monday?

      1. No, they think that the heads of the MSM are at their beach house and that the weekend staff at the MSM is very small so no big stories will come out of this and by Monday there will be some disaster or entertainment news story to bury the job story.

      2. We have zero job growth and high energy prices, but the Kos kids are screaming that Obama has to kill the Tar Sands pipeline project.

        ‘Cause it’s bad. Mmm’kay? It’s very, very bad.

        1. But the KOS kids honestly think that there is zero job growth because the evil racist corporations are refusing to hire because they want Obama to fail. I am not kidding. That is a pretty common idea out there among far left liberals. The damn racist goose just won’t lay any golden eggs for Obama in their view. The fact that Obama cut its head off shouldn’t matter.

          1. there may be a grain of truth in this, but it’s uncertainty more than anything else. I’m sure there are more companies which would like to be profitable instead of just sitting on the sidelines. But why take the chance?

            1. note – wanting Obama to fail, but not for racist motivations. And their reasons for wanting his failure is so they can move on and start making money again.

            2. Uncertainty is absolutely part of the problem. Heck, it applies to individual investors. I’ve been a little uncomfortable investing money the last few years. Still very stock heavy, which scares me a little.

            3. “there may be a grain of truth in this”

              No. No there isn’t.

          2. Schumer himself was accusing the Republicans of wrecking in the Soviet sense in June.

          3. Also, we fired too many parasites.

  19. Interestingly enough Huntsman is apparently making sense.

    Republican Presidential candidate and former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman is lagging in the polls, but the economic agenda he rolled out this week may start getting him more attention. And deservedly so.

    The heart of the plan lowers all tax rates on individuals and businesses. Mr. Huntsman would create three personal income tax rates?8%, 14% and 23%?and pay for this in a “revenue-neutral” way by eliminating “all deductions and credits.” This tracks with the proposals of the bipartisan Bowles-Simpson commission and others for a flatter, more efficient tax system.

    That means economically inefficient tax carve outs for mortgage interest, municipal bonds, child credits and green energy subsidies would at last be closed. The double tax on capital gains and dividends would be expunged as would the Alternative Minimum Tax. The corporate tax rate falls to 25% from 35%, and American businesses would be taxed on a territorial system to encourage firms to return capital parked in overseas operations.

    Mr. Huntsman would repeal two of President Obama’s most economically debilitating creations, ObamaCare and the Dodd-Frank financial regulation law. Mr. Huntsman has it right when he says, “Dodd-Frank perpetuates ‘too big to fail’ by codifying a regime that incentivizes firms to become too big to fail.” He’d also repeal a Bush-era regulatory mistake, the Sarbanes-Oxley accounting rules, which have added millions of dollars of costs to businesses with little positive effect.

    Mr. Huntsman says he’d also bring to heel the hyper-regulators at the Environmental Protection Agency, Food and Drug Administration and the National Labor Relations Board, all of which are suppressing job-creation. The Huntsman energy policy promises to block impediments to producing oil in the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska (see editorial above), while encouraging the safe deployment of fracking for natural gas in the states.…..83600.html

    1. American businesses would be taxed on a territorial system to encourage firms to return capital parked in overseas operations.

      Working for a truly international company based in Houston, this concerns me. Everything else sounds good, though.

    2. He’s gonna need some support in the House and Senate to repeal Dodd-Frank and Obamacare. No way in the world he gets to 60 in the Senate for either one.

      Ditto lowering taxes. And how is any of this revenue-neutral when he doesn’t address spending on entitlements, defense or SSI/Medicare?

      If he can’t do these things on is own, then they’re just words, as far as I’m concerned.

      1. So when Ron Paul says he plans to do things like end the fed, those are just words too? I give Huntsman a better chance to do this than I do Paul to do what he says. Words matter. Even if Huntsman got 20% of that it would be an improvement.

        And since you consider Obamacare to be unrepealable does that mean we should all embrace it now?

        1. Revenue neutral just means the plan takes in as much money as the old system. Obviously, spending and balancing the budget are different issues.

        2. Yes and no, John. Paul is talking about boarding up some executive departments, and that is totally within his powers. Also, requesting dramatically smaller budgets for remaining departments and reducing staffing levels is within his rights.

          As far as legislation, yes, Paul’s words are just words, same as Huntsman. The only difference is, Paul has a consistent voting record supporting the proposals he is bringing up. Therefore, I trust him to do what he says. Huntsman? Not so much.

        3. Ron Paul says he wants some competing currencies. I think he could make that happen. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s not all that pie in the skyish.

      2. I never said it wasn’t repealable. I just said it’s gonna be impossible to get to 60 votes in the Senate, especially with the makeup in the next Congress. The Team Blue gang are not gonna be in the mood to give up their greatest victory.

  20. Opening a pot shop in D.C. means signing a paper that says you’re a criminal.

    And pot shops can’t be opened by criminals.

  21. Sorry, but it’s obligatory at this point:

    North Miami Beach police spokesman Sgt. Warren Hardison says there was an encounter with the man and officers and shots were fired. The man was flown to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. Police did not immediately release the man’s name.

    No one else was injured in the shooting.

    And nothing else happened…….

    1. I smell a promotion after a long paid vacation.


    John Althouse Cohen explains science to Paul Krugman with bonus Feynman quote.

    1. Feynman is awesome. Absolutely the best at explaining to people what science actually is.

      1. Yeppers. I’m reading Genius right now (I’ve owned it for years and finally picked it up to read).

    2. Try telling a layperson that science has never absolutely proven anything. They’ll look at you like you’re a giant parasitic wasp that just laid its eggs in their brain.

      1. The growing politicization of science and of scientists is a disturbing trend. Not just in climatology but in other sciences as well. The “politics” doesn’t always manifest itself along left-right or other traditional political axes, but I think it stems primarily from the fact that government funding of science has increased so much and become so much more important to research programs in the last sixty years.

        1. Yes. One of the professors I’m working with (not my advisor, thankfully) misses no opportunity in our meetings to talk about how evil Republicans are and how Citizens United will kill us all. It’s really unseemly.

          1. You’d think that your exaggerated yawns and telegraphed arm stretching would tip him/her off.

          2. What does he teach?

            1. Computer science, specifically software engineering.

              1. I’m having trouble detecting the relevance of politics with the teaching of that discipline.

    3. Great link…Thanks! Feynman is right on the money.

  23. State trooper films himself assaulting his 72 year old neighbor. No word yet on whether or not he’ll be charged under PA wiretapping laws.


    A North Idaho man killed a grizzly bear that was threatening his family. Now he could face jail time if the Obama administration has its way.

    Rachel Hill looked out her bedroom window on the evening of Mother’s Day and saw three grizzly bears attacking the children’s 4H club pigs’ pen. The Hill children had been outside practicing basketball a half hour earlier, so seeing the bears concerned her and her husband, Jeremy Hill. After calling for his kids and hearing no response, Jeremy grabbed his daughter’s rifle. After once more calling for the kids, fearing they were in danger, he shot at the closest grizzly bear, which was about 120 feet away.

    The other two grizzlies fled while the wounded bear began to run off in the same direction, but then turned and came towards the house. Hill shot the bear a final time due to the danger a severely wounded grizzly bear posed to his family and others. Hill called two officials with the Idaho Department of Fish and Game. They came out, investigated, and unsuccessfully tried to capture the other two grizzly bears by placing bear traps on the property.

    Regardless of the danger to Hill’s family, grizzly bears are listed as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act, thus the federal government is prosecuting him. If convicted, Hill could face up to one year in prison and a $50,000 fine.

    1. The irony being that if he had followed the law and allowed the bear to kill his children, the feds would have hunted down the bear and killed it.
      But since he disobeyed the law and protected his family, it is likely that he will go to prison.

      1. And had he not done anything to defend his kids, I am thinking the state CPS would have had something to say about it as well.

        1. I would like to think that no jury would convict him, but there are so many “The law is the law and he broke it. If he don’t like it he should vote for someone who will change it. Guilty.” types that I’m not so sure.

          1. Hey, does anyone remember a quote (I want to say it was from Stripes) that went something like–

            Q: Have you ever broken the law?
            A: That I agreed with? No.

            Can’t find it after a quick look.

            1. I know Stripes like the back of my hand, and that doesn’t ring a bell. Perhaps you are thinking of:

              Recruiter: Are either of you homosexuals?
              John: You mean like flaming or …[so-so gesture]
              Recruiter: Well, it’s a standard question we have to ask.
              Russell: No, we’re not homosexuals, but we are willing to learn.
              John: Yeah, would they send us someplace special?

            2. Shit. It was with the recruiter, but it was:

              Recruiter: Are either of you convicted felons?
              John: Convicted?
              Recruiter: Yeah.
              John: No, never convicted.

              1. That’s what I’m thinking about, but something had the “I never broke a law that I agreed with” quote. Film TV, stand-up, not really sure.

          2. Hopefully, he’ll be facing a Northern Idaho jury. I’m thinking they would understand the situation a bit better than if the Feds changed the venue to San Francisco.

        2. Rock, meet Hardplace.

    2. REally? There’s not self defense exception to the Endangered Species act? Maybe he should have tried a warning shot first, but when you think your children might be about to be eaten by bears, you don’t have a lot of time to think about these things.

      Interesting, and tangentially related, I have heard that bears in Yellowstone have learned to recognize rifles and you can often scare bears off by pointing a long stick at them.

      1. There is no self defense except to the ESA. It is one of the most draconian and poorly drafted statutes in history.

      2. I don’t think I’d like to bet on that with a grizzly. I mean, yeah, it’s better than nothing, but if it doesn’t work you’re screwed.

        1. No, but if you don’t have an actual rifle, it’s probably worth a try if you don’t have a safe place to retreat to.

          1. If a pissed off Grizzly has taken an interest in you, there ain’t no safe place to retreat to – unless maybe you’re Usain Bolt.

            1. That’s one reason they should let folks carry firearms in National Parks.

              1. Well, the main reason for allowing that is to let people protect themselves from two-legged predators. Carrying a handgun for protection against a Grizzly is possibly better than nothing but is generally only going to get you in trouble. We always carried .44mags in the bush in Alaska but I always wondered if that would be enough. Few people would carry hand cannons in Y’stone even if carry were allowed.

              2. It’s legal now. That credit card bill had an amendment that legalized guns in national parks.

      3. “The ESA not only protects wildlife and critical habitats, but also enforces laws prohibiting killing, importing, exporting, possessing, selling, delivering, carrying, transporting, and shipping any endangered species without permission. One exception to this law is if an individual can show proof that he or she committed one of these acts in self-defense, or in defense of another person.”

        But hey, don’t let some facts it takes ten seconds on google to find upset the charge to RAGE, we’re talking pajamasmedia here!


        1. Being old and cynical, I don’t believe summaries of laws. One reason is that the summaries are rarely written by lawyers. Point to the actual code, MNG, not somebody’s summary therof.

          1. A conspicuous absence of the word “thereof” will usually tell you for sure that it wasn’t written by a lawyer.

          2. Wait, its you guys who are asserting that there is no exception for self-defense, what prove do you have of that?

            Well, here it is. Now that you’ve been shown it, what do you say? How about “holy shit, I really fell for that one. Stupid right wing media misled me, I’ll be more suspect the next time and less guillible.”

            “Grizzly bears may be taken in
            self-defense or in defense of others”

            50 C.F.R. ? 17.40(b)(i)(B)


            1. This presumes that the DA agrees that the guy’s kids were in danger. From what I read that isn’t really clear – though I too would have erred on the side of being sure.

              1. “though I too would have erred on the side of being sure.”

                Well, cuz you’re not John. But then again, when you believe in your cause with such fervor like John, I guess you just realize that mistakes will be made fighting the good fight.

                Keyboard Commandoes Forward, for God and Country!

                1. Goodness what an asshole.

            2. See, a link to the actual CFR. Now we can all agree on the actual text of the law. Thanks, MNG.

        2. Although there is a self-defense exception in the Endangered Species Act, the Fish and Wildlife Service asserted that Shuler did not act in self defense. The Fish and Wildlife Service has a curious view of when grizzly bears pose a risk of death or serious bodily harm. Thus, when a grizzly bear rears up on its hind legs, spreads its mighty paws, and roars a vicious roar, it is not the sign of an imminent attack and is a terrible time to shoot.

          What about when the grizzly bear gets down on all fours and charges at forty miles an hour? Is that a good time to shoot? “No,” says the Fish and Wildlife Service, “that is a terrible time to shoot, because it might be a false charge.” A person would feel awful if he shot a grizzly bear that charged past him, his heart beating out of his chest, knowing he had to go home and change his clothes. So that is bad time to shoot too.

          John Shuler’s case went first to an Administrative Law Judge, an ALJ. The ALJ made an excellent factual finding. He found that Shuler had been in fear of death or serious bodily injury, which is required to use deadly force in self defense. However, as a matter of law, he found that Shuler could not claim self defense because he had, in the ALJ’s words, “introduced himself into the zone of eminent danger.” Urban audiences ask me what might be the zone of eminent danger for them. I tell them that, if they awoke in the middle of the night and heard a noise in the kitchen, they could not, under the ALJ’s ruling, arm themselves and go downstairs. That would be “the zone of eminent danger”: Lorena Bobbitt could be there; or Bruce Babbitt. We thought the ALJ’s decision “goofy”; that is a legal term.

          We appealed to the Ad Hoc Board of Appeals with the U.S. Department of the Interior in Washington, D.C. Their two smart fellows pronounced the ALJ’s ruling “goofy,” after all, they opined, Shuler had the right to go outside. However, he was still at fault, they said, because he had taken his dog with him and the dog went on point, which, in their view, provoked the bear!

          Yes there is a self defense exception. I had forgotten that. My interaction with the statute has always involved birds. So self defense was not an issue. But, the case is still outrageous. As shown above. And it is not even from Pajamas media. I know it is a shock to you, but government officials are often unreasonable.

          1. John|9.2.11 @ 9:48AM|#
            There is no self defense except to the ESA.

            John|9.2.11 @ 10:33AM|#
            Yes there is a self defense exception.

            Jesus, there is no stopping the guy, misled by right wing media again, but plowing along with the outrage. Hey John, should Shirley Sherrod be fired over this or maybe some Texas judge enjoined any prayer by the shooter as well? Sheesh, just say no to Drudge John before you lose what little integrity you have left.

            1. It must be really nice to just ignore any fact you don’t like and change the subject. Seriously, I grant you the point about self defense and give you another source for the story explaining how the case is still a terrible injustice. And you have no response.

              Seriously, do you think people are going to take you seriously by screaming “shirly sherod” and right wing media every time you don’t like something? Do you think that helps? It doesn’t at all. And yeah, this case is outrageous. If you have some fact to show it wasn’t beyond citing the ESA, go get them. We would all be happy to hear. If you can’t do that, then shut the fuck up and admit the facts as given. And stop wasting everyone’s time screaming the daily KOS meme.

              1. You goofball, you were duped into an outrage by one ideological website (who in the world is this guillible about things they read on the web in this day and age) and you then when called on it compound it by finding another axe-to-grind website and yell “see, it really is an outrage!”

                Yelling Sherrod is no Kos meme, it’s a John-specific flaw here, like with the Texas case or Sherrod or DSK or Muslims bombing Norway, you show up, link to some righ-wing source, spew RAGE and then come to find out, the source was off base. Yet you charge on. Why not step back and develop a little critical analysis and restraint dude?

                I think movement conservativism* is actually built on this kind of cycle of misinformation+assumptions producing careless rage, then forgetting when someone shows the story to be more complex, and then on to the next cycle of it…

                *and movement liberalism or libertarianism for that matter

            2. Without knowing the facts of this case from a more disintersted less ideological source it is just sheer reckless foolishness to go on a two minute hate over this. Crazy and sloppy.

              Who know what actually happened? Perhaps no reasonable person would have felt there was a danger and this guy just went foolhardily running to confront this bear creating the situation where he shot the bear? You don’t know, I don’t know, but hey, don’t let that stop you from conjuring up the worst parannoia and misinformation about the “draconian” laws and the evil feds who enforce it.

              1. We do know he had a right to go out side. The appeals court in Washington said he did. But then they said that the fact that he brought his dog with him vitiated his claim of self defense. Read the article. The whole thing is ridiculous. Just admit it and move on. Why do you want to die on every hill no matter how bad the position is?

                1. Read the article? You mean the one on (yeah, that one is going to be an objective account) or the even worse one from Drudge?

                  Jesus John, you are supposed to be a lawyer. If you read only one side’s briefs in a case every case is a horrible outrage. You’re producing RAGE based solely on articles from less-than-reliable sources with one side of the story.

                  You’re supposed to be a lawyer, don’t you have a Lexis account? Look up the ALJ opinion and the actual appellate opinions before you run off spouting things on the subject. If you don’t do this kind of thing you end up looking really silly, like this:

                  John|9.2.11 @ 9:48AM|#
                  There is no self defense except to the ESA.

                  John|9.2.11 @ 10:33AM|#
                  Yes there is a self defense exception.

                  1. I mean, I haven’t read the opinions, but I’m not raging against anything either. I would, you know, try to inform myself more than just reading some internet site with an axe to grind before I would get up on a soapbox and raging against the machine…

                    If you read the opinions and produce them and they are awful (opinions can be), then, THEN maybe I’ll join you in your rage. But man, one has to wonder how much of your worldview rests on this shaky, reckless foundation…

                    1. Guys, MiNGe is right on this one. The exemption is plainly written into the ESA. The problem here is with prosecution of a crime that does not exist.

                      Unfortunately, the prosecutor will not be disbarred for wrongful prosecution.

        3. Funny how the burden of proof shifts to the defendant with that neat little law.

          1. It doesn’t you moron, but hey, don’t let that stop you either.

            Shit, I realize people might not have legal acumen, but all you need is the ability to operate google before you run off and post something half-informed!

            “On the other hand, where a defendant alleges that he killed a protected species in self defense or in defense of others, and presents evidence of self defense, the government has the burden of proving self defense beyond a reasonable doubt. United States v. Clavette, 135 F.2d 1308 (9th Cir. 1998).”

            1. Wait, the gov’t defense atty? I don’t understand.

            2. Can one of the resident lawyers break this phrase down for me?

              It sounds like if I show some compelling evidence of self-defense, the government is legally bound to prove my case rather then their own. Is that right?

              1. I don’t have the F 2nd’s U.S. v. Clavette text in front of me. I do have the text for the 9th Circuit’s opinion in the case. http://archive.ca9.uscourts.go…..enDocument

                Basically, one of the points in the case had to do with Clavette’s claim of self defense, to excuse his crime of shooting a grizzly bear. Since Clavette put on evidence that he shot the bear in self-defense, the Gov’t then was obligated to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Clavette did not shoot the bear in self-defense. The court found:

                Given the physical evidence and the inconsistencies in
                the Clavettes’ stories, a reasonable person could have found
                beyond a reasonable doubt that Clavette had not killed the
                bear in self-defense.

                In short, it wasn’t unreasonable for the judge (it was a bench trial; which was another thing Clavette was complaining about) to think that Clavette was lying his ass off about needing to defend himself from the bear.

                I think MNG’s cut and paste misquoted the opinion, and meant to write “disproving” for “proving.” Or you can look at it as that the Gov’t needed to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the defendant was not untitled to claim self-defense as a justification.

                1. entitled, not untitled. Sigh.

      4. I have heard that bears in Yellowstone have learned to recognize rifles and you can often scare bears off by pointing a long stick at them.

        Sure, but then you get shot by a cop who also thinks your stick is a gun.

        1. Moral of the story: ALL COPS ARE BEARS

          and I mean that in the hairy homosexual way (NTTIATWTA) as well as the more traditional ursine “unable to differentiate sticks from rifles”.

          *Note to grammar nazis: Logically, the period belongs there, deal with it.

          1. “NTTIATWTA”

            What’s the final “A” stand for?

            1. Not only that, but what about that “I” hanging out in the middle?

              1. The extra A is for Acronym, and the I is because I refuse to abbreviate There Is in an acronym.

    3. William Grigg wrote about this the other day He said: “Jeremy Hill is not going to prison. If [Governor] Otter and the silly little government he heads aren’t willing to interpose on that man’s behalf, there are plenty of us living in Idaho who will.”

      Bluster, I’m sure, but if there’s anyplace where people would take up arms in defiance of the federal government, Idaho is it. Or maybe he’s just saying no Idaho jury would convict this man, which I think is probably true.

      1. Remind me to sue him. I was Pro Libertate first, dammit.

  25. NJ’s public sector unions are suing Gov. Chris Christie.

    Good luck, chumpstains. You should do about as well there as you did in all your Wisconsin battles.

  26. This evidently is some of that new professionalism Scalia was talking about.

    I guess the poor widdwe coppie was having a bad night.

    If you want to jump right to the fun n’ shenanigans, start at about 3:55. I think it’s more entertaining to watch the whole thing, though, because it really make clear how there was NO, ZERO, NONE, ZIP, ZILCH, NADA reason for the cop’s childish and bizarre reaction – other than a mere “civilian” actually standing on his rights.

    1. Errrrr…I have to agree with some of the youtube commenters. This seems staged. For one thing, no stamping of any kind on the video.

      1. Yeah, I posted too soon. Serves me right. Turns out the same user has posted other videos of a similar nature, and it’s the same cop and SUV in every one. Mea culpa and my apologies.

  27. In that Kentucky poll, 55% of respondents were Democrats, and only 36% were Republicans. That can hardly be a representative sampling, right? Especially in that state.

    1. I would question any poll for made for Daily Kos. Or any other team-xxx.

    2. Democrats might be underrepresented in the poll.

      What makes you think KY isnt hyper-majority Democratic?

      1. Registration in KY is 56% D, 37% R.

        1. Really? I just thought Kentucky was a red state. After all, they have two Republican senators, and they’ve gone for the GOP presidential candidate every time in the last thirty years except when Clinton was running. I’m baffled by those percentages.

          1. Obama was the first time since the 50s that KY didnt vote for the winner in a presidential election.

            There are a lot of Dems in KY, but there are very few liberals. Blue dog democrats outnumber liberal democrats state-wide. Only in Louisville and somewhat in Lexington do liberals have any say.

            1. Obama was the first time since the 50s that KY didnt vote for the winner in a presidential election.

              Why does that smell like some sort of gambling scheme?

      2. When it comes to voter registration, the Dems are the majority party. But the main reason for that is so that people can vote in local primaries. In much of the state, the Dems have the stronger local organizations and only Dems run in local races. So if you aren’t registered as a Dem, you have no say in who is elected to a local office.

        1. Correct, although this is changing.

          When I registered back in the 80s, it was true for state-wide races too. The GOP ran exactly one candidate for governor and the Dems would run fortythreeve candidates, and the winner of the D primary (who generally got about 25% of the vote) then won in a landslide in the fall.

  28. Police officer disputes the need for a search warrant to search a motorist’s vehicle.

    1. What’s a search warrant?

      1. It’s like toilet paper, but not as soft.

    2. A cop can search a car if it’s a “reasonable” search. You do not need a warrant for every search.

      1. Probable cause, right?

    3. See my post above. I now believe it’s fake.

    1. Holy shit, I bet he was a national champ at incoherent grumbling. He probably had an amazing beard, too.

    2. Nice, but my favorite is the one that says, “I told you I was sick.”

      1. A friend of mine had a picture of the gravestone for some dude’s amputated foot. He had to get his foot cut off back in the 1800s, so they buried it and put up a headstone with a carving of a foot. Neatly labeled as “So-and-so’s Foot, XXXX-XXXX”. That’s my favorite.

        1. Wonder if they had a funeral, and then a wake where everybody got drunk and told their favorite stories about the foot.

          I would.

    3. Definitely a libertarian.

    4. That is awesome. Where did you find that? On Jezebel as an example of the patriarchy?

      1. It was on the FAILblog as a WIN.

    5. National runner-up: Curmudgeon-off, 1943.

    6. I think this is him. Holy shit, what a badass.

      1. Anyone who lived before 1950 and is known as a “noted African geographer” is a serious bad ass.

      2. Such comments lead one to conclude that Gillman, for all his outstanding qualities, was perhaps not the easiest of men to work with, and that at times he may have been intolerant of opinions which did not coincide with his own.

        Ya think?

        1. Sounds like most libertarians I’ve dealt with. I mean, I believe you’re fully entitled to your own opinion, no matter how stupid, ill-informed or wrong-headedly moronic it might be.

    7. “bamboozled” heh.

  29. NJ’s public sector unions are suing Gov. Chris Christie.

    “but do please, Brer Union, don’t fling me in dat brier-patch”


    First time since World War II the economy created no jobs in a month. Can we safely start calling this a depression now?

    1. We just need a LITTLE more tampering, and I’m sure that’ll fix it right up.

    2. Gee, I can’t for the life of me figure out why it could possibly be that the private sector doesn’t want to risk starting any new business or creating any new jobs.

      Hey Obama, go send your goons to raid some more guitar factories, you effing putz you. You’re a real genius.

    3. Hey, the restaurants are hiring.

      1. You joke, but locally this is true.

        The place that I just quit working for has been 2-3 people short for about a year. Most of the people I know are in the industry, and to a man they bitch about short staffs.

        If you ain’t got a job go down to the souhtside or strip district in PBurgh and you’ll be washing dishes/serving within a couple of hours.

        Oh, you meant jobs where you get to sit on yer ass all day playing solitaire and surfing the tubez with benefits…nope, those jobs are gone.

    1. I’ve always thought that bit from Sean Connery was amusing. He’s been married forever, so I’m pretty sure he’s not actually bitchslapping his wife. But as far as pesky interviewers are concerned, he retains his male rights.

      1. I don’t think anyone would be too upset if he slapped Babwa around a bit.

        The bit with Gary Busey looking sane whilst Meatloaf freaks the fuck out was pretty good. Or as the article put it, “he erupts like a volcano made of cursing and fat.”

      2. He’s been married forever, so I’m pretty sure he’s not actually bitchslapping his wife.

        She sure looks like he has been.

        1. But he’s still with her.

  31. In Chicago, Thomas “The Blob” Villanova gets a $108,000/yr pension when his last city job earned him $40,000/yr … over 2 decades ago.…..7273.story

  32. Just hours after the death of Border Patrol agent Brian Terry, federal officials tried to cover up evidence that the gun that killed Terry was one the government intentionally helped sell to the Mexican cartels in a weapons trafficking program known as Operation Fast and Furious.

    The revelation comes just days after a huge shake-up of government officials who oversaw the failed anti-gun trafficking program and Congress renewed its demand for more answers.

    Also late Thursday, Sen. Charles Grassley’s office revealed that 21 more Fast and Furious guns have been found at violent crime scenes in Mexico. That is up from 11 the agency admitted just last month.…..z1Wny5e016

    1. But Nothing Else Happened…right?

    2. Hey they meant well. So clearly it should be ignored.

    3. Okay, since a government agent has been killed, it’s a big deal now. Dead proles mean nothing.

  33. The latest outrage of the moment is apparently that the Pima County GOP is raffling off a Glock at a fundraiser.…..03544.html

    Guns in Arizona! No way!


      How’d I do?

      1. Pretty good. That sort of logic, the Outrage-a-holics seem to think, is completely unassailable. I’ve given up trying to reason with them.

    2. Still, some are calling the raffle inappropriate. “There’s a woman who has a bullet in the brain and who everybody is wishing a full recovery,” Brian Miller, the immediate past chair of the Pima County GOP told Talking Points Memo. “I don’t think that raffling off a firearm right now is probably the right way to go.”

  34. Hey, Reason… you need to do a post on how Gibson Guitars is being fucked by the feds.

    Great interview on the subject:

  35. This will end all speculation about who in Hollywood has been “augmented”.…..gery/28309

    1. Hey, I know that putting everyone with fake tits on a registry sounds crazy, but it’s not fair to tarnish “government” by association when it’s really just some “federal agency” in a chatroom that probably no one even listens to.

  36. Pretty good…………………….
    “I’m ugly on the inside.”

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