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Culture

Fright Night

Colin Farrell is a master of darkness in this superior remake.

Kurt Loder | 8.18.2011 4:30 PM

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The new Fright Night is like a desperately needed meal. Sure, it's just a burger and fries and a gallon of Coke, but it really hits the spot. The movie improves upon the original Fright Night, released in 1985, by an order of magnitude. It has smarter direction; a tighter, funnier script; and much better actors—chief among them Colin Farrell, who tucks into his lead role as if it were, well, a desperately needed meal.

Farrell plays Jerry, that most unwelcome of new acquaintances: the vampire who just moved in next door. Nobody takes much notice of Jerry's blacked-out windows, or the growing number of students who've begun failing to turn up at the local high school since he arrived on the scene. Jerry's a charmer, and with his wolfish good looks and tight jeans and body shirts, he's a shining hunk in the eyes of lonely Jane Brewster (Toni Collette), his new single-mom neighbor. However, Jane's son Charley (Anton Yelchin) gets an immediate weird vibe from Jerry, exacerbated by sudden screams in the night emanating from his house. Charley's girlfriend Amy (Imogen Poots) thinks he's being, you know, silly; but his dweeby pal Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) is convinced he's right: Jerry is in fact a vampire. And Ed, a fantasy role-playing nerd, knows just what to do. Pulling out his ready-to-go vampire kit—a duffle bag filled with crucifixes, wooden stakes and whatnot—he tells Charley it's their job to put an end to this abomination. You knew this would have to happen, and you're naturally happy it will.

Screenwriter Marti Noxon—a veteran of TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer series—has worked a clever change-up on the original film, relocating the action from an anonymous small town to a desert suburb of Las Vegas. This allowed her to adjust Peter Vincent, the story's quasi Van Helsing character, from a TV horror-movie host (memorably played by Roddy McDowall in the first picture) to a big-room stage illusionist (played by David Tennant) at the Hard Rock casino-hotel. Slot-feeding rubes flock to his elaborate show, with its drifting banks of fog and levitating devil-ladies, but Vincent has no use for real-life supernatural nonsense. So when Charley—having lost Ed to an unfortunate encounter with the object of their investigation—comes looking for help, Vincent is instantly dismissive. "Jerry?" he says. "Jerry the vampire?"

Director Craig Gillespie—hereby pardoned for his complicity in Lars and the Real Girl—has constructed some slick horror scenes, starting with an opening smash-and-grab vampire attack and proceeding through a tense bloodsucker showdown in a swimming pool to a mad chase down a lonesome desert highway (which occasions a cameo appearance by Chris Sarandon, who played Jerry in the original movie). This Fright Night is also, inevitably, in 3D; but Gillespie knows just how to use that now-rampant technology. No subtle "depth effects" are bothered with; instead we get the full complement of delirious cheese—blood spurting off the screen, burning cinders floating out before our eyes, and all manner of alarming items hurtling into our face. Excellent.

Anton Yelchin admirably sidesteps the teen-hero clichés that littered the first movie, and deftly underplays his funniest lines. Imogen Poots is also just right, rising above her character's trite teen-babe conception with a level-headed warmth and banishing all recollections of Amanda Bearse, the actress who massacred the part in the original. And David Tennant—an actor who looks as if he's been tied in knots and tossed in a corner—is ideally cast as the twitchy, absinthe-swilling Vincent.

Toni Collette isn't given a lot to do, and Mintz-Plasse's nebbishy bluster may be getting a little too familiar. But the movie's minor flaws are vaporized whenever Colin Farrell slinks onto the screen. The musty vampire tale may be shopworn, but Farrell charges it with a fresh comic enthusiasm, fighting back a fangy snarl while chatting up one of his intended victims and hissing in mild irritation at a stray shaft of sunlight as he carefully edges around it. The actor may be over-qualified for the part of Jerry, but he gives it his all. And when he looks down at Charley's oddly hued new shoes and says, "It takes a real man to wear puce," you know you're in the presence of a too-often-underrated master. To the role of what might otherwise have been a rote demon, he brings real bite.    

Kurt Loder is a writer living in New York. His third book, a collection of film reviews called The Good, the Bad and the Godawful, will be out on November 8th from St. Martin's Press. Follow him on Twitter at kurt_loder.


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Kurt Loder is a New York writer who also hosts the SiriusXM interview show True Stories.

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  1. Jingles   14 years ago

    This movie might be worth seeing for Tennant as Peter Vincent alone, but it's nice to know that it's good anyway.

  2. Sy   14 years ago

    Vampires? Again? Fuck no.

    1. Shmenge   14 years ago

      better than zombies

      1. Sy   14 years ago

        I'll take zombies. At least zombies haven't been transformed into some teenie bopper heart throb genre yet.

      2. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

        I am still waiting for Dragons to surge.

        They have had some great moments like the movie Dragonslayer and the animated movie the Hobbit or more recently Reign of fire

        Still with Game of Thrones, and a new Hobbit Movie coming I am hoping they will get their due.

        1. Sy   14 years ago

          Reign of Fire was godawful and isn't going to help the upcoming dragon films. Matthew fuckin Mcconaughey slaying dragons? He needs to be slaying some 20 year old pussy, not dragons.

          1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

            He needs to be banned from acting altogether.

            1. Sy   14 years ago

              I don't hate him as an actor, just the shitty roles he is caste to play. However, after Surfer, Dude...

              1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

                No, he sucks.

                1. Brandon   14 years ago

                  Come on now, no one else could've been as good a Wooderson. Other than that, yeah, he pretty much sucks.

                2. Creepy Guy With Blonde Wig   14 years ago

                  Leave Matthew alone!!!!!

                3. Pissiarch   14 years ago

                  Jeez, you boys takes movies seriously!

            2. Chupacabra   14 years ago

              Wait, is he supposed to be acting?

          2. heller   14 years ago

            McConaughey must die

            1. Matt Damon   14 years ago

              Matt Damon!

              1. Res Publica Americana   14 years ago

                Some more Texas-bashing from the Matt "The Anal Cyst" Damon! Because Mass-of-two-shits is so much better!

                The guy also narrated Howard Zinn's magnum opus (the audio version). -100000000000000000000

          3. Tulpa   14 years ago

            You guys have no taste.

        2. cynical   14 years ago

          Fuck, just try playing any major fucking fantasy game right now or coming soon. Dragon Age, Dragon Knight Saga, Guild Wars 2, Skyrim, probably more that I've forgotten.

          1. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

            Dragons will not be "in" until Battle Field 3 has a dragon survival mode!!!!

            1. A girl   14 years ago

              I predict dragons will be "in" as soon as Hollywood stumbles across the idea that Silver and Gold dragons can shapeshift--it will make a werewolf boyfriend seem so 2008 *barf*.

    2. Tim   14 years ago

      Have we won in Transylvania yet?

      1. Sy   14 years ago

        We've always been at war with Transylvania.

        1. Tim   14 years ago

          It would be over except that the ACLU sided with the vampires and forced the Pentagon to stop issuing crucifixes to our troops.

          1. Ska   14 years ago

            Wooden bullets Tim. C'mon.

            1. Tim   14 years ago

              Sorry, TSA banned them to protect aircraft.

    3. yet another dave   14 years ago

      maybe they'll be made illegal...

      http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/We.....70801.html

      1. Sy   14 years ago

        I hate shit like this because it makes a good case for censorship. Some people really are too easily influenced. The sad part is that it's someone I have to compete with at the ballot box.

  3. Episiarch   14 years ago

    I don't know. The original is fun but flawed; I bet this one is the same. Still, if it plays nearby I might go see it.

    1. John   14 years ago

      The original was good. You are right it was flawed. But still fun. I don't see why it needed a remake. Why not just come up with a new idea for a movie?

      1. Episiarch   14 years ago

        As annoying as it is, John, it makes financial sense to remake movies, or they wouldn't do it. Familiar titles motivate people to go see what the new version is like. Plus, it's cheaper in that the writing is easier (you already have the plot), and the advertising is easier.

        Hollywood makes money, and I can't fault them for that. Sometimes they also create good art in the process, but only sometimes.

        1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

          It's still annoying. Occasional remakes are one thing, a constant deluge of them is another.

          I thought the original was okay, nothing great, but it did have Roddy, which makes it automatically superior to this one.

          1. Episiarch   14 years ago

            Well, the deluge isn't going to end until they're run out of movies to remake, and by that time, they might be able to remake the remakes.

            Look, this is Hollywood's business model now, and you'd better get used to it. They're not going to stop until it stops making easy money.

            Remember, if a studio remakes a film it already owns, it has to re-option nothing.

            1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

              Bollywood laughs at your primitive culture.

            2. Brandon   14 years ago

              How many Hulks are we on now? 7?

            3. Nephilium   14 years ago

              I think they deluge of remakes is going to come to an end soon... if for no other reason then they're running out of movies to remake. All of the major horror franchises have either been remade, or have a remake in the works.

            4. Tulpa   14 years ago

              Remakes, reboots, sequels, prequels, interquels, plus adaptations of comic books, amusement park rides, stage theater, internet memes, and cereal box artwork will provide plenty of material for Hollywood to work with for ages to come.

              Good news is it's easier to access indie films (and they're better in relative visual quality) than ever before. Of course most of them are crap too, but at least they're trying.

              1. Tulpa   14 years ago

                Oh, how could I forget, flerking auto insurance commercials, that other font of creativity off of which MPAA can leech.

            5. Pope Jimbo   14 years ago

              The deluge will be officially over when they remake Gymkata.

        2. John   14 years ago

          True. But I think remakes have a ceiling. They are easy money but they are not big money. I wish Hollywood took more chances.

          1. Auric Demonocles   14 years ago

            MARKET FAILURE!

          2. Episiarch   14 years ago

            Ceilings are unimportant. If remakes tend to make a profit--to reliably make a profit, they're much more valuable to a producer than a risk. Risks can make you huge (think of the guy who greenlit LOTR for New Line), but if they fail they get you canned and your reputation goes in the shitter. Steady profits don't usually get you fired.

            1. Jim   14 years ago

              I desperately want to give Larry Cohen & Roger Corman $200 million with the condition that they fully collaborate, and see what they come up with.

            2. Tulpa   14 years ago

              LOTR was a remake too.

              1. Episiarch   14 years ago

                Your desire to be contrary is making you a 'tard, Commodore. You can't "remake" something that has its original source material as a book unless you specifically say "I'm remaking the movie, not doing my own interpretation of the book on film". Especially not if the "original" was half a Frank Bakshi rotoscope and half a Rankin and Bass animation.

                1. Tulpa   14 years ago

                  That's kind of a strange definition. It wouldn't include that remake par excellence, the Christopher Nolan Batman series (currently fucking majorly with my life and everyone else who needs to be anywhere near downtown PGH).

          3. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

            I wish Hollywood took more chances.

            Movies have been killed by cable, Playstation, Netflix, and the internet.

            All the risks are on TV now. To be honest I welcome it. 2-3 hours is not long enough to tell a story that you must leave the house and spend 10$ to see anyway.

            1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

              I actually think the slow trend towards making miniseries of books is the future of good movies (at least, the subset of good movies that are based on books).

              1. Episiarch   14 years ago

                No, that's the future of HBO and Showtime, and to a lesser extent the cable channels that have commercials.

                Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead; those are two going on right now that are both from books/comics and are very good. There will be others.

                1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

                  It'll happen off the premium channels. In fact, it has--Dune, for instance--just not as well. Oddly, as bad as TV as a whole has gotten, the top shows are maybe as good or better than they've ever been before.

                  I also think the poor quality of film has created an opportunity for TV. That, and the fact that the writer market is less diluted, with all of the reality nonsense.

                  1. Episiarch   14 years ago

                    I'm perfectly happy with TV getting light years better while movies get light years worse. I get much more TV than movies, at a better price, in my home, streamed over the internet or over cable, can record it on my TiVo; how can movies compete with that?

                  2. Brandon   14 years ago

                    "The Odyssey" was a solid miniseries, but that was about 12 years ago.

                2. Ska   14 years ago

                  No love for Breaking Bad? Mad Men?

                  1. Episiarch   14 years ago

                    I was talking specifically about books and comics made into miniseries, in the light of how HBO can give GOT 10 hours, whereas for a studio to do that, they'd need to go full LOTR and do three 3-hour movies; HBO's way is much better. That way you get the full book over 10 weeks, one each year, instead of one book every few years, and one book gets 10 hours, not three.

                    Breaking Bad is OK; lost interest after season 1. I don't watch Mad Men. I know people rave about it, but it's one of those things that for some weird reason, I cannot find enough interest within myself to bother with it.

                3. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

                  you forgot the original: True Blood

                  Which is based on a series of books.

            2. Tulpa   14 years ago

              I don't know about Netflix hurting movies any more than Blockbuster did back in the day.

              One indirect cause of Hollywood's troubles has been internet porn's pilfering of the skin flick market. No one below the age of 50 is going to put up with 90 minutes of boring crap in the hopes of seeing 30 seconds of bare boobs.

      2. Sy   14 years ago

        You just answered your own question. They're remaking it because they don't have any new ideas.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

          I have an idea to remake Pearl Harbor, but the twist in my script is that it stars Justin Bieber as Ben Affleck, and the Americans win. Tell me those aren't new ideas.

          1. fish   14 years ago

            ...but the twist in my script is that it stars Justin Bieber as Ben Affleck, and the Americans win.

            I think the survivors might envy the dead.

          2. Sy   14 years ago

            Yeah, but how many dance sequences are in it?

            1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

              All of them.

              1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

                Pearl Harbor: The Musical?

                1. Sy   14 years ago

                  No.
                  Highschool Musical: Pearl Harbor!

      3. Brad Warbiany   14 years ago

        A new idea?!?!

        What are you, some commie indie-film fan?

      4. Ted S.   14 years ago

        Ricardo Cortez was the ultimate Sam Spade.

    2. dbcooper   14 years ago

      This.

      My work is done.

  4. Pip   14 years ago

    How come H&R never reviews romantic comedies like Bride Wars?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901476/

    1. Sy   14 years ago

      Kurt's review of Bride Wars.

      1. Pip   14 years ago

        MTV News /= H&R

        1. Sy   14 years ago

          Just providing you with a link, buddy.

  5. PantsFan   14 years ago

    I was hoping for a review of "One Day"

  6. Tim   14 years ago

    Like Washington, Hollywood has no new ideas.

  7. sloopyinca   14 years ago

    Has there been an effort to recreate "The Day Of The Commenters" yet?

    Maybe the squirrels are taking a nap.

    1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

      It won't work. It's buttoned up like a nun. Not one of those whorish nuns, either.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

        At first I thought you two idiots were talking about making a movie about DOTC. I was going to agree with ProLib that it wouldn't work.

        1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

          I said this last week, but I'll say it again: Mark my words, there will be a movie about blog commenters. Soon. After all, we live in a society that accepts board games as the basis for feature films.

          It won't be about obscure libertarian commenters, of course.

          1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

            You know, a Day of the Commenters, Part I: The Rape of Tags might actually work if it's shot in 3D. Only masochists can watch that 3D shit, anyway.

            But make no mistake, the so-called freedom fighters would be shown for the terrorists that they were.

            1. Old Mexican   14 years ago

              Re: Fist of Etiquette,

              But make no mistake, the so-called freedom fighters would be shown for the terrorists that they were.

              You're such the eternal optimist, FOE.

          2. Butts Wagner   14 years ago

            Ext - Dome of the US Capital Building

            The Jacket crouches, staring at the government workers and lobbyists scurrying about below, and speaks in a deep growl

            The Jacket: The city is a dying whore.

            1. Tanstaafl   14 years ago

              Who comments on the commentators?

        2. sloopyinca   14 years ago

          "you two idiots"

          Says the man that not only wants to let Justin Bieber live, he wants to star him in a movie.

          1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

            What? Really? Huh.

            1. sloopyinca   14 years ago

              That was for FoE, not you.

              1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

                No, I understood you. I was surprised at his Bieber Fever. I have to endure some of that in my own household, because I have a four year-old daughter.

                1. sloopyinca   14 years ago

                  I have a 13 y/o girl and an 11 y/o boy. They both think he's a faggot, and his girlfriend, Selena Gomez looks like a walking candy apple because her head is about two times it's proper size.

                  1. Almanian   14 years ago

                    "walking candy apple" for the win

            2. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

              Don't anyone steal my idea.

          2. Tulpa   14 years ago

            A remake of Weekend at Bernie's might work?

  8. Danno   14 years ago

    Rewatched the original 'Fright Night' the other evening for the first time since 1985. And other than Roddy McDowell's appearance (and freaking out at seeing 'Married With Children's' Marci as the female lead), it pretty much blew. The remake HAS to be better.

  9. Tim   14 years ago

    My rejected treatment of the remake called for casting Sarah Palin as the Vampire Lord and Barrack Obama as the Geeky President who must destroy her.

    1. Tim   14 years ago

      with Joe Biden as "Evil Ed"

      1. T   14 years ago

        I think you mean "Special Ed".

        1. Tim   14 years ago

          We should partner on the next draft T.

  10. Karl Hungus   14 years ago

    The original was one of my favorites from my teen years, so I'm happy to see this come along - and even happier that it looks pretty decent. Rotten Tomatoes has as 71% "fresh."

    I'll see it this weekend.

  11. Jonas Smith   14 years ago

    Oh wow, that really looks like its gonna be good. Nice!

    http://www.total-anon.at.tc

    1. Trespassers W   14 years ago

      Yeah right, anonymity bot. You haven't even learned to love yet.

  12. PantsFan   14 years ago

    Off Topic:
    Hockey Jerseys as Soccer Uniforms
    http://majupra.imgur.com/futbol_hockey_kit

  13. Jim   14 years ago

    I'll do a screen-hop and get a free showing of Conan after I finish Fright Night. I figure two possibly very bad but just maybe not movies is worth $7.

    1. Virginia   14 years ago

      Are they both 3D? Anything greater than 3 hours supposedly induces headaches.

      1. Jim   14 years ago

        Good question. I refuse to attend 3D offerings unless there is literally no screen showing it in 2D (with the exception of Avatar), so I'll have to check that out before I go.

    2. H man   14 years ago

      Conan got bad reviews as well.

      1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

        I'm okay conceptually with the old Robert E. Howard stories getting made into TV or film, but it's going to be pretty hard to match up to the 80s film. Which was pretty danged good, surprisingly.

        1. H man   14 years ago

          I never actually read any of the books. I was wondering how closely the movies both 80's and this one matched up. It also brings up the question of whether some books just don't translate well to the big screen.

          1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

            As I recall, the movie mixed scenes taken from several different stories from the books.

  14. Virginia   14 years ago

    Did they write out Jerry's undead assistant? I hope so. That role was rubbish.

    Also, didn't Roddy take a stake through the head in the first one?

  15. Karl Hungus   14 years ago

    I just read that they're currently filming a remake of 'Total Recall', also starring Colin Farrell.

  16. sloopyinca   14 years ago

    Karate Kid
    Footloose
    Fright Night
    Nightmare on Elm Street
    High Noon
    Texas Chainsaw Massacre
    Walking Tall
    The Stepford Wives
    The Longest Yard
    and...
    Planet of The Fucking Apes (with Marky Mark)

    Thats just for starters.

    Fuck you, Hollywood!

    1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

      If you're going to go back to the trough, I'd prefer just reusing plot lines and maybe some characters. For instance, I'm not offended by Outland, which I actually like. It's a remake of sorts of High Noon, but it's not the same film; it just has a number of parallel plot elements.

      1. Episiarch   14 years ago

        It also has the benefit of being directed by Peter Hyams, who is at least a competent director, and starring Sean Connery.

        Most of the remakes they do now are directed by talentless nobodies, often fresh from directing advertisements.

        1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

          Alien 3 (sequel, not a remake of course)--I seem to remember it being directed by some music video director with no previous film experience.

          1. Episiarch   14 years ago

            Sure, and Ridley Scott directed television commercials prior to The Duellists and Alien. Not all video and commercial directors are going to suck, but many of them will.

            1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

              I didn't mean it couldn't work, just that it didn't in that case. Kind of a weird "first movie" opportunity, anyway, with such a successful franchise.

          2. A Serious Man   14 years ago

            Alien 3 was David Fincher's first movie. He's atoned by directing movies like Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac, and The Social Network.

            1. Episiarch   14 years ago

              What do you mean "atoned"? Alien 3 was an excellent addition to the series, and continued their practice of hiring talented new directors to do each one. Panic Room is, I would say, Fincher's worst movie, and by "worst" I mean the least interesting. I haven't seen Benjamin Button, though, partly because I fear it sucks.

              1. Jim   14 years ago

                If you think Alien 3 is an "excellent addition to the series", I have a couple of Michael Bay and Ben Afleck collaboration scripts to sell you.

                1. Episiarch   14 years ago

                  I like you, Jim, so I'm going to assume you're thinking of Alien 4 and aren't just a tasteless boob. Plus, I will kill you last.

                  1. Jim   14 years ago

                    There was a fucking fourth one!?

                    I keed, I keed.

                  2. Jim   14 years ago

                    And I hope you're not lying about killing me last, because I really like my sports car which repairs itself after rolling.

              2. A Serious Man   14 years ago

                Fincher himself is embarassed by it because the studio brought him on short notice and made multiple changes without his consent.

              3. A Serious Man   14 years ago

                And Benjamin Button is easily his weakest film, so spare yourself two plus hours of unnecessary melodrama. The Oscar nominations were the Academy's way of apologizing for snubbing "Zodiac".

              4. Kevin   14 years ago

                Aliens 3, although the weakest of the first 3, was certainly better than Aliens 4, which was pure liquid diarrhea. Weaver must have needed to catch up on some boat payments of some such to agree to work that script.

                1. Episiarch   14 years ago

                  The really retarded part about Alien 4 is that it was written by Joss Whedon. I mean, what? I've never seen Whedon suck like that.

            2. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

              you are forgetting Social Network...which despite reason's hatred of it is a fine film.

              Plus the Game...which is a good film but i think people misinterpret the ending...he dies in the end and goes to heaven.

              Also looking at IMdB it looks like he is finishing up a remake of "The Girl with the Dragon tattoo"

        2. dbcooper   14 years ago

          And SHOTGUNS IN SPACE.

          1. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

            no!!!

            CHET IN SPACE.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAH4vipYD_U

            1. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrjFuTbl_SA

    2. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

      Someone should remake King Kong.

    3. PantsFan   14 years ago

      A remake of Godzilla would be boss.

      1. Jim   14 years ago

        Legendary Pictures has heard our cries, and an American Godzilla reboot is slated for 2012. The concept art shows they are sticking with Godzilla Godzilla, not shitty late 90s fake Godzilla.

    4. Gilbert Martin   14 years ago

      Don't forget to add in the making movies based on old TV series to the list.

      Bevery Hilbillies, Wild Wild West, etc.

  17. Pudgeboy   14 years ago

    I hope they don't attempt a remake of Red Dawn; it'd be too much to handle.

    1. Pro Libertate   14 years ago

      I don't get the love for that crappy movie.

      1. Pudgeboy   14 years ago

        I'm not sure I can explain it, either. I haven't seen it in years, but I remember it being the best movie I'd ever watched at the time. One of the great memories I have from that time in my life...

        1. Episiarch   14 years ago

          It's a big deal if you watched it as a teenage boy; preferably in the 12-15 y.o. range. Because then, it was the greatest thing ever in the universe.

          I thought you were joking above, but if you don't know; they absolutely are remaking it. Right now.

          1. Pudgeboy   14 years ago

            I didn't know they were remaking it... I'll probably end up watching it... yea, I was a kid, which explains a lot.

          2. Tulpa   14 years ago

            They're replacing the Russians with Norks? Seriously? That has to be a joke.

            I know they can't get away with Russians or Chinese, but at least they could have chosen a more believable invader, like Mozambique or something.

          3. Tulpa   14 years ago

            The funny thing about this is how the PRC govt screamed up a storm about the fact that the movie was originally written with the Chinese as the villains.

            How many movies have been made where the US govt/military has been raping peace-loving native cultures? Grow the fuck up, PRC.

            1. Sy   14 years ago

              Nobody watches Westerns anymore, Tulpa.

      2. dbcooper   14 years ago

        Dude, I am going to the USA vs Russia game at the rugby world cup this year with a fucking WOLVERINES(!) banner.

        Wash your mouth out.

        1. Pudgeboy   14 years ago

          I tried rugby for a semester in college, just a club team. It was basically just an excuse for drinking and hitting people. For some reason, we played the Naval Academy's scrubs (although that's not a fair way to describe them)... I was never beaten so badly in my life. I remember wanting to cry, at one point. I've loved the sport ever since.

      3. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

        I don't get the love for that crappy movie.

        this guy:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Milius

        http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0587518/

    2. dbcooper   14 years ago

      Obligatory Murray Rothbard review of Red Dawn.

      http://www.lewrockwell.com/rot.....ard64.html

      1. sloopyinca   14 years ago

        Great review, but I fail to see why he referred to the hawt Lea Thompson and (big-nosed) Jennifer Gray as "androgynous."

        1. dbcooper   14 years ago

          Rothbard is, um, a bit out there (IMO).

        2. Old Mexican   14 years ago

          Re: Sloopyinca,

          Lea Thompson and (big-nosed) Jennifer Gray as "androgynous."

          Because they looked like boys (which they did)?

        3. Tulpa   14 years ago

          sloopy, if you want to reveal that you're gay, just come right out and say it. None of this beating around the bush by dropping little hints.

  18. Pudgeboy   14 years ago

    The best original TV series I've seen is Cracker (the British version with Robbie Coltrane). They tried a remake here with Robert Pastorelli; it was unbearable.... not that anyone cares what I think.

    1. Ska   14 years ago

      What's up with Misfits? Worth finding some place to watch it?

      1. Pudgeboy   14 years ago

        I haven't seen it; the best British shows I've seen recently are a new, modern version of Sherlock Holmes, called Sherlock, and a crime drama called Luther, both are good if you like the British style... excellent dialogue, a bit dark.

        1. Fatty Bolger   14 years ago

          I liked the new Sherlock. Luther is also on Netflix, I'll have to give it a try.

      2. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

        What's up with Misfits? Worth finding some place to watch it?

        I like it

        It is free on hulu:

        http://www.hulu.com/misfits

  19. Almanian   14 years ago

    Remember seeing the orig in Butler, PA when we were visiting my friend who lived there.

    I like it - it's a fun movie. Sounds like the new one will be "better" - I'll see it. Thanks for the continued reviews, Reason.

    PS Fuck you Amanda Bearse haters - she was STEAMIN' hot in the movie. STEAMIN' hot. Acting? Wha..huh? STEAMIN' hot...

    1. Episiarch   14 years ago

      You have just officially been booted from the "has good taste in women" club. Sorry, dude, but this is just too egregious of a violation. I mean, wow. Even dbcooper's troubling Kristin Scott Thomas violation is nothing compared to Amanda Bearse.

      1. Jim   14 years ago

        I wouldn't fuck Amanda Bearse with Bea Arthur's dick.

        1. Episiarch   14 years ago

          Considering she's a lesbian, what you just said is...confusing. Regardless, have fun with Bea Arthur's dick.

          1. Jim   14 years ago

            It's supposed to be confusing...sexually confusing.

            The money quote, from that 80s classic, The Gate:

            "Who needs chicks when we got demons?"

      2. Almanian   14 years ago

        Yeah, well, I like Kristin Scott Thomas, too.

        Me an db will just hang - you can keep Rectal, Epi.

    2. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

      I find it interesting that you chose to besmirch Butler's good name in your revelation about your difficult puberty manifesting itself in an attraction to Ms. Bearse.

      1. Almanian   14 years ago

        PUBERTY! I'll have you know I was 24 when this came out, and had just gotten married.

        So - whatever that implies. Do your worst!

        1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

          That poor, poor woman.

    3. Old Mexican   14 years ago

      PS Fuck you Amanda Bearse haters - she was STEAMIN' hot in the movie. STEAMIN' hot. Acting? Wha..huh? STEAMIN' hot...

      "Hey, Marcie! You got a call from El Pollo Loco!"

    4. heller   14 years ago

      STEAMIN' hot?

  20. A Serious Man   14 years ago

    I was hoping Kurt would review Conan the Barbarian. It looks like crap, but who knows?

    1. heller   14 years ago

      It looks like crap, but who knows?

      It's crap?

  21. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

    Zorro...................John Byner
    Robot Zorro.............Shawn Wayans
    Mrs. Zorro..............Rita Rudner
    Scarlet Pimpernell......Curtis "Booger" Armstrong
    King Arthur.............Cheech Marin
    Man in the Iron Mask....Gina Gershon
    Wise Nun................Posh Spice
    Stupid Nun..............Meryl Streep
    Time Traveler #1........Stone Cold Steve Austin
    Orangutan at dance......"Puddles"
    Gay-seeming Prince......Spalding Gray
    Man Beating Mule........Eric Roberts
    Mule beating Man........"Gus"
    Hiccupping Narrator.....Pele
    President Van Buren.....Robert Evans
    Corky...................Anthony Hopkins
    Voice of Magic Taco....James Earl Jones

    The Producers would like to thank:
    Film board of Canada
    The Philadelphia Flyers
    The makers of Whip Balm
    Mr. Robert Guccione
    The Teamsters Pension Found
    AAA Best Bail Bonds
    Mr. and Mrs. Curtis "Booger" Armstrong

    1. sloopyinca   14 years ago

      What is this, FoE? The Kentucky Fried Thread?

      1. EDG reppin' LBC   14 years ago

        Hey Sloop! Football is coming soon. Patience... patience...

    2. EDG reppin' LBC   14 years ago

      I spit my martini onto my keyboard! I don't know what the fuck that was FoE, but it was funny. Thanks, and good night!

      1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

        Maybe this will help:

        [On screen]
        Musketeer: [run through] Sacre bleu! The deadly poke of Zorro! [all three collapse]
        [the Man in the Iron Mask attacks Zorro. Zorro slices a "Z" in the man's shirt]
        Man: [looking down at his chest] What? "N?" What does "N" stand for?
        Zorro: No, no. It's a "Z." I am Zorro. "Z" for Zorro! I have come to return King Arthur to the throne.
        [In audience]
        Bart: It's a history lesson come to life!
        Lisa: No, it isn't. It's totally inaccurate.
        Bart: Quiet! Here come the ninjas. [fighting noises are heard from the screen]

    3. dbcooper   14 years ago

      Gold dude. Gold. 🙂

      1. dbcooper   14 years ago

        Although I am disappointed that I only misread Shaun Ryder's name in there.

    4. Almanian   14 years ago

      Mr. and Mrs. Curtis "Booger" Armstrong

      and lol

  22. Kolohe   14 years ago

    Loder's gonna lose his Critic Street Cred if he keeps on writing all these positive reviews.

  23. The 1980s   14 years ago

    Hey, New Millennium Hollywood:

    Stop ripping off all my ideas & come up with your own.

    Thanks.

  24. NotSure   14 years ago

    One remake I would really like to see is the "Escape from New York" or "Escape from LA" movies, they could even pick a new city to escape from.

    1. sloopyinca   14 years ago

      I had this conversation with a buddy the other day. I'd probably set it on either a small island in Hawai'i and use an accelerated ice melt as a plot device, or set it in Detroit and save money by not having to build post-apocalyptic sets.

      1. sloopyinca   14 years ago

        Ooh, or set it in Vegas. That could be pretty trippy now that I think about it.

        Def, "Escape From Las Vegas" could work. Only thing is, you're gonna be hard-pressed to make "saving a president's live" a realistic plot device.

        1. Kevin   14 years ago

          Vegas is in the middle of the desert. It's not exactly hard to get away. On second thought, Nicolas Cage had to drink his way out. Dumb ass.

      2. Kolohe   14 years ago

        "or set it in Detroit and save money by not having to build post-apocalyptic sets."

        This movie was called 'Robocop'. And yes they are apparently re-making it.

        1. Kevin   14 years ago

          I never understood the attraction of that franchise. I hated the first one, and refused to watch any of the others. I did not care if that trigger happy robot got wasted or not, and I had never heard the term "libertarian" at the time.

  25. heller   14 years ago

    Politico factchecks Obama. Imagine that.

    1. Tulpa   14 years ago

      Dude, it got him past the farmer's question without any embarrassing video clips being produced. That's all that matters.

  26. John   14 years ago

    http://www.deadline.com/2011/0.....de-runner/

    They are letting Ridley Scott take another crack at Blade Runner. Now that is interesting.

    1. heller   14 years ago

      I hope he doesn't screw it up.

  27. heller   14 years ago

    Your tax dollars at work

    1. Maxxx   14 years ago

      Jesus Fucking Christ,

      The warmists are getting desperate and coming unhinged.

      Co2 will trigger and alien invasion, after they destroy Mars and Venus.

      1. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

        Why would aliens capable of interstellar travel give a rats ass about an "expansionist" species?

        They can fucking travel in space!!! With that level of technology it is not as if they have to worry much about scarce resources.

        1. Tulpa   14 years ago

          That's what the Native Americans probably thought.

          1. Joshua Corning   14 years ago

            American Indians were an expansionist species that aliens killed off to protect the universe?

            What?

        2. Eduard van Haalen   14 years ago

          "With that level of technology it is not as if they have to worry much about scarce resources."

          What about the scenario where "our planet is running out of rare metals/air/etc. and Earth is the only other planet with a reliable supply, so it's either us or you!" I've seen that scenario once or twice.

    2. Tulpa   14 years ago

      So the aliens are advanced enough to not only detect relatively slow changes in atmospheric composition from light years away, but also to untangle the causal relationship showing that this change in composition is due to human activity rather than natural processes.... but they're also too dumb to be able to figure out we're carbon-based and have two arms and two legs unless we tell them.

      1. Fatty Bolger   14 years ago

        To an alien, wouldn't humans be just another "natural process?"

  28. yelly   14 years ago

    All the risks are on TV now. To be honest I welcome it. 2-3 hours is not long enough to tell a story that you must leave the house and spend 10$ to see anyway.
    Nike Total 90 Laser III Elite TF Soccer Cleats -Black/Red
    Nike Total90 Laser III AG Mens Football Soccer-Black/Red

  29. heller   14 years ago

    Lew Rockwell: Reason is stupid and not libertarian because Katherine Mangu-Ward doesn't think Ron Paul is going to win

    Walter Block agrees that "Reason magazine [was exposed] as critics, not supporters, of libertarianism [...and] has long ago turned against libertarianism"

    Derp.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   14 years ago

      So, acknowledging the likelihood of failure in a general election is tantamount to treason against the ideal?

      Mr. Rockwell needs to go back to his pop music career.

  30. tory burch miller   14 years ago

    tory burch miller.

  31. Res Publica Americana   14 years ago

    http://reason.com/archives/201.....nt_2472880

    Lmao.

    In any case, I think there should be an early remake of 'Falling Skies', one that, you know, doesn't slant towards mainstream fantasies of how shit would happen and doesn't suck half the time.

  32. To Sum Up   14 years ago

    Nobody commented on Loder's review. Many lamented that movies today "suck" and that remakes, sequels and adaptations demonstrate Hollywood's lack of imagination. Pizza may have been mentioned. Also breasts.

    1. Nigger on steroids   14 years ago

      SHUT THE FUCK UP

      GET THE FUCK OUT

      I WILL FUCK YO CRACKA ASS UP, HOMEBOY

      1. Mean Girl   14 years ago

        It's Encourage A Troll Friday!?
        Pass it on!

    2. Fatty Bolger   14 years ago

      Pizza may have been mentioned. Also breasts.

      "Stuff Reason Commenters Like"

      1. Mean Girl   14 years ago

        What are South Park references?

  33. Portland Trail Blazers   14 years ago

    not bad

  34. ???? ??????   14 years ago

    THANK U

  35. Samuel L. Bronkowitz   14 years ago

    Absinthe? It's Midori.

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