Stimulus

Stimulus Dollars Intended to Lower Utility Bills for the Disabled Go to Lawyers, Lobbyists

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Stimulus-funded handshakes for everyone!

Your stimulus dollars at work helping the poor and downtrodden go green, via the Center for Public Integrity:

Federal audits are turning up misspent taxpayer dollars in a $5 billion stimulus program aimed at lowering the utility bills of disabled, poor and older Americans by making their homes more energy-efficient.

In West Virginia, which received $38 million in weatherization funds, some of the money went for lobbying, to consultants who did little work and to recipients with connections to state officials who are doling out the funds, the Energy Department's inspector general found.

In one case, West Virginia paid $25,000 to a lawyer for writing two sentences stating that weatherization contracts had been reviewed, reportedly after four hours' work at a state office, according to a report analyzing how the federal stimulus money was used. A $20,000 consulting fee was paid to the former director of the state's weatherization program after he left the job in May 2009 even though there were no specific work requirements set for the consulting contract.

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  1. That’s my favorite Demotivator ever. It’s so true.

    1. “None of us is as dumb as all of us.”

      1. http://www.despair.com/indifference.html

        Indifference

        It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

        1. I “borrowed” the Consulting Demotivator text to insult Congress a while back. Works just as well.

      2. Close 2nd for me.

        http://www.despair.com/worth.html

        Worth

        Just because you’re necessary doesn’t mean you’re important.

        1. I was actually laughing at Apathy.

          1. And their Bailouts one is very apropos.

            I’ll stop now.

          2. Apathy is another of my favorites.

            http://www.despair.com/burnout.html

            Burnout is also outstanding.

          3. Let us not forget:

            http://www.despair.com/incompetence.html

            Incompetence

            When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there’s no end to what you can’t do.

          4. A personal favorite:

            It may be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

  2. “Unintended.”

  3. How anyone can continue to support government stimulus spending, or greater government spending at all, when reading something like this, is beyond me. But hey, lets turn over our healthcare system to these clowns.

  4. The fundamental question I have to ask here is “WHERE’S MY SLICE?”

    1. Just let me wet my beak.

  5. In West Virginia, which received $38 million in weatherization funds, some of the money went for lobbying, to consultants who did little work and to recipients with connections to state officials who are doling out the funds, the Energy Department’s inspector general found.

    Hey! Aggregate demand! A-g-g-r-e-g-a-t-e! Lobbyist and useless consultants are consumers, too!

    1. Stimulation

      Yahoo! This is your stimulation.
      Yahoo! This is your stimulation.

      Stimulate good times, come on! (Let’s stimulate.)
      Stimulate good times, come on! (Let’s stimulate.)

      There’s a party goin’ on right here,
      A stimulation to last throughout the years.
      So bring your voters’ dimes, and your laughter, too.
      We gonna stimulate your party with you.

      Come on now.

      Stimulation.
      Let’s all stimulate and have a good time.
      Stimulation.
      We gonna stimulate and have a good time.

      It’s time to spend together.
      It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure?

      Everyone on Capitol Hill,
      Come on!

      Yahoo! It’s a stimulation.
      Yahoo!

      Stimulate good times, come on!
      It’s a stimulation.
      Stimulate good times, come on!
      Let’s stimulate.

      We’re gonna have a good time tonight.
      Let’s stimulate, it’s all right.
      We’re gonna have a good time tonight,
      Let’s stimulate, it’s all right.

      Baby. . .

      We’re gonna have a good time tonight, (Stim-u-la-tion)
      Let’s stimulate, it’s all right.
      We’re gonna have a good time tonight, (Stim-u-la-tion)
      Let’s stimulate, it’s all right

      Yahoo!
      Yahoo!

      Stimulate good times, come on! (Let’s stimulate.)
      Stimulate good times, come on!
      It’s a stimulation!
      Stimulate good times, come on! (Let’s stimulate.)

      Come on and stimulate, good times, tonight (Stimulate good times, come on!)
      ‘Cause everything’s gonna be all right,
      Let’s stimulate (Stimulate good times, come on!)
      (Let’s stimulate.)

      1. Stimulation:

        I can’t get no stimulation
        I can’t get no stimulation
        ‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
        I can’t get no, I can’t get no

        When I’m drivin’ in my clunker
        And that man comes on the radio
        He’s tellin’ me more and more
        About some mpg requirements for free cash
        Supposed to make me buy a hatch
        I can’t get no, oh no no no
        Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

        I can’t get no stimulation
        I can’t get no stimulation
        ‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
        I can’t get no, I can’t get no

        When I’m watchin’ my TV
        And that president comes on to tell me
        How many unicorns there can be
        But he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke
        The same cigarrettes as me (I bet he smoke menthol)
        I can’t get no, oh no no no
        Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

        I can’t get no stimulation
        I can’t get no demand manipulation
        ‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
        I can’t get no, I can’t get no

        When I’m ridin’ round the world
        And I’m doin’ this and I’m getting taxed on that
        And I’m tryin’ to make some money
        But they tell me that they need half for the hungry
        ‘Cause you see I’m on losing streak
        I can’t get no, oh no no no
        Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

        I can’t get no, I can’t get no
        I can’t get no stimulation
        No stimulation, no stimulation, no stimulation

        1. That works, too. Now we need one from the 80s.

          1. “Keep Feelin’ Stimulation?”

          2. Ask and you shall receive:

            Metallica: Creeping Debt:

            Slaves
            Taxpayers born to serve, to the Keynesian
            Heed
            To his every word, live in fear
            Faith
            Of the unknown one, the deliverer
            Wait
            Something must be done, $900 billion

            So let it be borrowed
            So let it be spent
            I’m sent here by the chosen one
            So let it be borrowed
            So let it be spent
            To enslave everyone of the nations’ sons
            I’m creeping debt

            Now
            Let my people go, land of Chosen
            Go
            I will be with thee, Bush started the fire
            Ink
            Running red and strong down the Potomac
            Plague
            Darkness four years long, hail to fire

            So let it be borrowed
            So let it be spent
            I’m sent here by the chosen one
            So let it be borrowed
            So let it be spent
            To enslave everyone of the nations’ sons
            I’m creeping debt

            Spend by my hand
            I spend across the land
            Enslaving all free-born man
            Spend by my hand
            I spend across the land
            Enslaving all free-born man

            I
            Rule the DC air, the stimulator
            Born
            In Hawaii I swear, deadly manipulator
            I
            Creep the steps and floor, of the White House
            Ink
            Red but still spending more, I shall pass

            So let it be borrowed
            So let it be spent
            I’m sent here by the chosen one
            So let it be borrowed
            So let it be spent
            To enslave everyone of the nations’ sons
            I’m creeping debt

            Now excuse me while I prepare a legal defense from Lars Ulrich’s imminent litigation.

            1. Fucking Awesome!!!!

            2. Now get Beatallica to sing and play it, and we have got a libertarian bullet to the top.

              1. Litagation should not be a problem. I believe it would fall under parody, which is all right. Just ask Al!

          3. The actual lyrics of the song make a parody easy:

            If it seems a little cash is needed
            Decisions have been made
            The good advice of the wise unheeded
            The best of scams is laid

            Just looking for a new direction
            In an old familiar way
            The forming of a new connection
            To get in on the pay

            And so the conversation turned
            Until the sun went down
            And many fantasies were learned
            On that day

            Keep feeling stimulation
            Cash is burning
            Through the pockets wrong
            Keep feeling stimulation
            Counting, reaping
            Then moving on

            Well the truth may need some
            Re-arranging
            Stories to be told
            And plain to see the facts are changing
            No meaning left to hold

            And so the conversation turned
            Until the sun went down
            And many fantasies were learned
            On that day

            And so the conversation turned
            Until the sun went down
            And many fantasies were learned
            On that day

            1. Eh, I’ll vote for Sudden’s, if only because I’d rather listen to it than the song I did.

              1. The 90s and the Aughts are still available!

                1. Smells like Animal Spirits?

                2. Hell, Nine Inch Nails “Head Like a Hole” works as is.

                  1. If we’re going NIN, how about closer?

                    “I wanna fuck you like a Keynesian, I wanna spend more than you have. I wanna fuck you like a Keynesian, the whole free market is flawed, Spending makes Obama my God”

              2. At first I considered a few others, “we’re the debt of America” “Hungry Like a Keynesian” and “I spent so much money” by a Flock of Keynesians.

                Ultimately, I settled on Metallica as the quintessential 80’s thrash band and Creeping Debt seemed to work so well. I was tempted to try “Disposable Trillions” or “Master of Puppets” but I settled on Creeping Debt in part because I wouldn’t even have to change the lyrics on Master of Puppets.

  6. Even in the absence of overt corruption, these kinds of temporary programs suffer from IMMENSE program awareness problems, which in practice mean that most of the money goes to politically connected people who get phone calls from the local hacks who administer the funding.

  7. Dollar bills make for lousy insulation, anyhow.

    1. Neither are they very good as toilet paper.

      1. They’re made out of cotton, so you could weave them together to make clothing.

        1. They’re made out of cotton

          Your little conspiracy theories crack me up.

          1. Wait until I reveal to the world that dollars are made of only 75% cotton. The other 25% is linen!

            1. Perfect for a summer suit!

              1. Yeah, but it wrinkles too damn easy. Not good if you get a lunchbreak quicky in the janitor’s closet.

        2. Well, I do have to admit that US dollar bills make better TP than loonies.

          1. Why do you think Americans are so resistant to dollar coins?

          2. +1

            1. Use the fucking three sea shells

  8. Uh, could we have some SPECIFICS….you know, like how much money went to consultants, how much money will be needed to repair the shoddy work, how much was spent on lobbying. I just like a few FACTS with my character assassinations.

    1. Fucking hyperlinks!!! How do they work?

      1. “I didn’t come here to read no book! Gimme one’a them Genius beers.”

        “HEY! What the hell’re you doin?! Put that beer back in the can where it was born! …Puttin’ beer in a glass, like Thanksgivin’ come early…”

    2. To be fair, I did not find a satisfying summation/bottom line in the links. The facts appear to be
      – lawyer paid $25,000
      – consultant paid $20,000
      – lobbying paid $2,500
      – 50% of the homes weatherized might need to be redone(so, as much as 50% or as little as 0%?)

      Is it so much to ask that if you do a study looking for waste you summarize your findings? As in, out of 38 million 2 million dollars appear to have been wasted? Fucking communication skills, how do they work?

    3. …wants his cut!

  9. Relax, guy. Some important dude with pretty hair once said that “waste is an inevitable part of stimulus.”
    (Joe Biden, 2009)
    http://www.reuters.com/article…..2620090603

    It means it’s working.

  10. I heard 90K stimulus money went to pay for the ATF Give A Mexican Mafia A Gun program.

    The good news: some of the guns are still in the US, and Americans may benefit from a gun shot.

    1. That should stimulate the healthcare industry. Success!

      1. And if they die, it reduces unemployment! A job opened up is as a good as a job created.

          1. Necrophagist are people too, and we are green 🙂
            http://rctlfy.wordpress.com/20…..ck-holmes/

    2. You bitches should be grateful for the services you receive from government. There is no such thing as corruption as long as the government does it — merely democracy in action.

  11. I’m guessing that the money thrown away did less harm than if WV used it for the feds “good intentions”.

  12. I guess I’ll play devil’s advocate here: If the federal government keeps passing ridiculous and labyrinthine regulations and laws, it only makes sense that state and local governments would need someone to explain it to them.

    Though I admit in this case it looks to just be an example of cronyism and rubber-stamping.

    1. “I guess I’ll play devil’s advocate here: If the federal government keeps passing ridiculous and labyrinthine regulations and laws, it only makes sense that state and local governments would need someone to explain it to them.”
      Which is true and which makes the fed regulations self-defeating.

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