Friday Funnies

Obamanomics

Henry Payne | 7.1.2011 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

This effort is not entirely subpar (although I better not see a spear in that bag). And Obama's lies are never that good.
1. db 14 years ago
  
  A++ for the "lie" joke.
2. WTF 14 years ago
  
  You know what is in that bag? A shovel, which is also known as a spade.
  
  RACIST!
  1. Bucky 14 years ago
    
    better with Bush's head sticking out of the golf bag.
    the Bush Bashers Inc. would be proud...
  2. Mensan 14 years ago
    
    Also a crowbar, as in Jim Crow.
    
    RACIST!
  3. Joshua Corning 14 years ago
    
    A battle axe, as in Obama's nagging shrew of a wife.
    
    RACIST!
    1. Almanian 14 years ago
      
      I can't believe you all missed the Plain Old Axe, implying Obama's "axing" for help with the economy, which is therefore:
      
      RACIST!
db 14 years ago

A+
a dollar a day keep Obama away 14 years ago

When all you have is a baseball bat, all problems start looking like golf balls.
1. newshutz 14 years ago
  
  nice twist
John 14 years ago

So you are saying Obama is "athletic"? RACIST!!
1. Trying to catch up 14 years ago
  
  He's also articulate.
sarcasmic 14 years ago

Is that a crow bar?

Racist! Straight up!
1. John 14 years ago
  
  It is also saying Obama is too poor to buy proper golf clubs. Racist!!
  1. WTF 14 years ago
    
    There's also a poleaxe in that bag, implying he is a barbarian. RACIST!
    1. Bucky 14 years ago
      
      poleaxe? halberd!
      1. carrot fop 14 years ago
        
        So, Obama is hitting golf balls toward the Economy hole. The Economy is a hole? The Economy is in a hole? Obama is trying to ball the Economy? Obama has white balls? I'm still trying to figure out the message.
        
        posted in reply to the wrong comment.
  2. sarcasmic 14 years ago
    
    I dunno. Swords and axes don't come cheap. Unless they're stolen. Racist!
Sarah 14 years ago

He's all hopey-changey you betcha!
db 14 years ago

Seriously? No "hole-in-one" jokes?
1. - 14 years ago
  
  I believe it's spelled "hoe in one."
  1. Moe19 14 years ago
    
    Racist!
db 14 years ago

I also like the golf-ball inflation.
1. carrot fop 14 years ago
  
  Obama sure is swinging a lot of wood.
  
  posted in reply to the wrong comment.
Sinic 14 years ago

He can probably play golf with a bat better than he can bowl.
1. Special Olympics Bowler 14 years ago
  
  I'wl say. I cowuld take hiscandyazz anydawy.
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

Notice the white men in the background showing disdain for letting a blackish man into their exclusive country club? That symbolizes white America' inherent racism.

And I don't even want to tell you what that large brown bat hitting tiny white balls indicates.
1. Sinic 14 years ago
  
  It looks more like fear than disdain, but still racist.
2. MNG 14 years ago
  
  Those dudes are'nt just white, they are transparent...
  1. PIRS 14 years ago
    
    His ears give him away as Obama. Tiger Woods does not have ears like that. Plus he looks older than Tiger Woods
    1. PIRS 14 years ago
      
      posted in reply to the wrong comment.
      1. carrot fop 14 years ago
        
        Why is Obama's hoe in Boston instead of in his golf bag?
        
        posted in reply to the wrong comment.
    2. MNG 14 years ago
      
      But he seems to be playing at Tiger's recent level...
  2. Bee Tagger 14 years ago
    
    They represent jobs created and saved, which is why they have no substance.
    1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
      
      Ghosts of transparency promises past.
      1. carrot fop 14 years ago
        
        Obama pulls out his wood whenever he sees white balls.
        
        posted in reply to the wrong comment.
      2. Almanian 14 years ago
        
        Ghost = "spook" = RACIST
        
        You guys are bringin' it hard today. Way to racist it up, Reason.
  3. rather 14 years ago
    
    black ghosts are transparent too
    1. Almanian 14 years ago
      
      RACIST!
PIRS 14 years ago

I hope he spends more time playing golf. The more time he spends playing golf the less time he spends "fixing" the economy. BY "fix" I mean in the veterinary sense of the word.
Our brains on cartoons 14 years ago

This is what happens when there are no morning links.
Fygar 14 years ago

LET'S PLAY FUNNY NOT FUNNY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wASZadMGB24
P Brooks 14 years ago

Is that Judge Smails in the background?
1. Judge Smails 14 years ago
  
  I think it's time for the old Billy Baroo
  1. Resto Druid FTW 14 years ago
    
    Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy...
    1. Judge Smails 14 years ago
      
      You??? BUY Bushwood??? Harrumphharrumph.
P Brooks 14 years ago

As usual, it needs more labels.
1. MNG 14 years ago
  
  Is the guy Obama or Tiger Woods?
  1. Bee Tagger 14 years ago
    
    That would make the weapon sticking up the highest in the bag Elin, right?
  2. PIRS 14 years ago
    
    His ears give him away as Obama. Tiger Woods does not have ears like that. Plus he looks older than Tiger Woods
Bee Tagger 14 years ago

Wow, you're saying that putting a community organizer in charge of the country is like letting the caddie play in the US Open.

Even Tracey Morgan thinks that's an inappropriate joke.
Bee Tagger 14 years ago

By the way, this only makes sense if he's on #5 green but playing hole #2.
mitch 14 years ago

A caddy should be included the drawing; a union thug, Lord Keynes, Karl Marx, Tim Geithner, somebody like that.
MNG 14 years ago

People Round These Parts May Have Jumped to Conclusions Too Fast on IMF Chief's Case (Who'da thunk it?)

Attorneys for Dominique Strauss-Kahn will ask a court to reduce the conditions of his bail after New York City prosecutors raised serious concerns about the hotel chambermaid who accused the former International Monetary Fund managing director of sexual assault, according to a person familiar with the case.

Strauss-Kahn may be freed from house arrest Friday after attorneys for both sides requested an unexpected late-morning hearing in State Supreme Court. Prosecutors are expected to tell the court that they have found information that raises questions about the chambermaid's credibility, the person said.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....ml?hpid=z1
1. MNG 14 years ago
  
  Iirc rather made a valiant attempt to urge caution to quite a many poster who trumpeted this case as pretty much closed, there's going to be some interesting discussion if this goes through...
  1. Knee Jerks 14 years ago
    
    What are you saying?
  2. Lynch Mob 14 years ago
    
    Yeah, what are you getting at?
  3. PIRS 14 years ago
    
    The chambermaid may not be a virtuous angel - but he could still be guilty of sexual assualt.
    1. MNG 14 years ago
      
      True, as always caution is the way to go. But like I said, if it pans out some people are going to reeeaaally learn the lesson.
      1. The Gaul 14 years ago
        
        Like the socialist Strauss-Kahn who will learn that the state can be an uncaring beast that destroys the lives of innocent people?
        
        Personally, I see a Balko article coming out of this if the charges are dropped.
      2. Inspector Clouseau 14 years ago
        
        Precisely why I always call them investigations!
  4. MNG 14 years ago
    
    If this pans out the walking back on this one is going to be epic for many here.
    1. Comment Tater 14 years ago
      
      the walking back on this one is going to be epic
      
      You're assuming that the commentators here can be shamed, and that reality trumps ideology.
      1. MNG 14 years ago
        
        Why people rush to judgment on things they are not sure of or even close to in forums where their comments are preserved is beyond me. I assume it is because of the fun of the two minute hates it affords. But it does provide me with endless amusement when it blows up on them, as it often does.
        
        Comment Tater 14 years ago
        
        Behold the power of propaganda.
        
        And alcohol.
        
        carrot fop 14 years ago
        
        Why people rush to judgment on things they are not sure of or even close to in forums where their comments are preserved is beyond me.
        
        I never rush to judgement even in the case of an obvious conspiracy to spring a privileged criminal free as in this case.
        
        Mr. FIFY 14 years ago
        
        Tell that to the Duke lacrosse team, MNG.
        
        Global Warmer 14 years ago
        
        Does it feel alittle close in here to you?
    2. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
      
      Defense attorneys going after the credibility of prosecution witnesses. I wasn't expecting that.
      
      Prosecutors are questioning the woman's asylum application with U.S. immigration authorities as well as her possible connections to a convicted drug dealer, the Times said.
      
      The chambermaid had a telephone discussion with a convicted drug dealer within a day of the alleged assault and discussed the possible benefits of filing charges against Strauss-Kahn, according to the Times.
      
      They better have more than that.
      1. sarcasmic 14 years ago
        
        Moral of the story: If you're going to rape the maid, make sure you pick a maid with a checkered past and a drug habit. That way your high powered lawyer can smear her (heck she practically deserved it!) and you can get away with it.
        
        Old Chinese Cliche 14 years ago
        
        When you're in a hole, stop digging.
        
        Charlie Chan 14 years ago
        
        Unvirtuous hen may lay with many roosters but can still be slaughtered for golden egg.
        
        #3 son 14 years ago
        
        Just because a hen likes to cock it up doesn't mean she is always strutting.
        
        #1 daughter 14 years ago
        
        What is it with the fucking son always get to play sidekick?
        
        Not only do the Chinese ennoble their sons, Hollywood singles them out too.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        The films were based upon novels written by Earl Derr Biggers.
        
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Derr_Biggers
  5. WTF 14 years ago
    
    C'mon MNG, you know women never ever lie about such things. This is all just a smear against her character by the Patriarchy.
    1. MNG 14 years ago
      
      Did you fall for the lie WTF? We can always roll back the tape (God I love the internet).
      1. WTF 14 years ago
        
        Go right ahead - I never made any assumption DSK was guilty.
        
        MNG 14 years ago
        
        John|5.20.11 @ 8:06AM|#
        Perhaps not. I think it is highly probable he is guilty and highly probable he will be convicted.
        
        reply to this
        WTF|5.20.11 @ 8:15AM|#
        I agree, which is why I think he will certainly try to flee if the opportunity presents itself.
        
        MNG 14 years ago
        
        God I am going to love the next few days.
        
        Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        MNG has cemented his position that he's definitely innocent. That was foolish.
        
        MNG 14 years ago
        
        I did? Where?
        
        Logic, how does it work?
        
        Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        Seeeeemented.
        
        WTF 14 years ago
        
        Mea Culpa - it looks like I did jump the gun. I fell for the press/prosecutor's accounts, and I should have known better.
        
        MNG 14 years ago
        
        We all do it, and you're just going to be the first of many caught on it, and you're a good man for owning it. Besides, we don't know if this press report is going to pan out.
        
        WTF 14 years ago
        
        True, he may in fact be guilty, we just need to see how it all pans out before jumping to conclusions.
        
        Joe M 14 years ago
        
        Plus, it doesn't necessarily sound like the information coming to light is directly related to the case.
        
        rather 14 years ago
        
        WTF, I sentence you to read my blog and comment!
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        If my handle is not mentioned on your blog is this a good thing or a bad thing?
        
        rather 14 years ago
        
        Hmm, I've been asked why am I not on your blog? but never the 'good or bad' but it is neither.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        I don't really have a "blog". I have a shared list of rss feeds that I "like" and "share" in Google Reader. It helps me keep up with sites I like. I can subecribe to your rss feed if you like --- I tried keeping a blog at one time - not too sucessfull. I guess I just spend too much time on other things like work, learning Spanish, trying to finish my novel etc.
      2. Bee Tagger 14 years ago
        
        MNG, thanks for seeing to it that no matter which side ends up winning, someone will be walking back their statements.
        
        MNG 14 years ago
        
        It's going to be a long walk for some.
    2. Bill Clinton 14 years ago
      
      Oh yes they do lie about rape!
  6. Sinic 14 years ago
    
    Being innocent doesn't make him less foreign.
    1. Comment Tater 14 years ago
      
      And the IMF is evil! That makes Strauss-Kahn guilty by association. Anyone can see that.
      1. MNG 14 years ago
        
        And he was a Socialist! So none of this 'evidence' matters.
        
        Comment Tater 14 years ago
        
        Socialist=rapist. It's self evident.
        
        capitalist fig 14 years ago
        
        definitional, actually
        
        Devil's Advocate 14 years ago
        
        To be fair, in DSK's mind she was simply giving according to her "ability," and he was receiving according to his "need." He was just being intellectually consistent.
        
        sarcasmic 14 years ago
        
        And she was a drug user! So none of this 'evidence' matters.
        
        Harvard 14 years ago
        
        The rest of the story:
        
        He was/is a MILLIONAIRE socialist, a fact that invites the assumption he's a liar and unprincipled.
2. db 14 years ago
  
  A separate law enforcement official who is familiar with the case but not authorized to speak about it publicly told the Associated Press that the issue was not necessarily about the rape accusation itself but about questions surrounding the alleged victim's background that could damage her credibility on the witness stand. The official refused to elaborate.
  
  Prosecutors are questioning the woman's asylum application with U.S. immigration authorities as well as her possible connections to a convicted drug dealer, the Times said.
  
  The chambermaid had a telephone discussion with a convicted drug dealer within a day of the alleged assault and discussed the possible benefits of filing charges against Strauss-Kahn, according to the Times.
  
  Prosecutors have found that the woman received $100,000 in cash payments in her bank accounts in recent years from the drug dealer and others. They also found she maintained multiple bank accounts.
  
  While I agree that this kind of information could be damaging to a case, does it really say anything about whether Strauss-Khan did what he was accused of?
  
  With connections and a history like this, it's possible she could have been hired to make this kind of thing happen. Or not. The questions should be:
  1. Did Strauss-Khan do what he is accused of?
  2. Was he encouraged by the victim to do it?
  2a. If yes, figure out why and prosecute the victim and whoever may have paid her off
  2b. If no, throw the book at DSK.
  
  The question of her credibility as a witness smacks of DSK apologetics and is a transparent attempt to misdirect the prosecution from the real questions. She may be the slimiest crook in the world; does she deserve to get raped? No one deserves rape.
  
  Only if she tried to get "raped" in order to blackmail DSK (which obviously wouldn't work once the police were notified), ruin his political career (which has happened already), or to take revenge on him for something else, should the question of her credibility enter into it.
  
  Did DSK get smeared in the press? Yes. Would she deserve to get smeared in the press if she did this for gain or revenge. Absolutely.
  1. Fluffy 14 years ago
    
    If you're on the phone with your incarcerated boyfriend the day after you were supposedly raped talking about how to make money off of it, I have a problem with the accusation's credibility.
    
    It makes me believe there's at least reasonable doubt that this case is the sex crime equivalent of some chick pretending to slip in a supermarket.
    1. Lynch Mob 14 years ago
      
      You guys are taking all the fun out of this.
    2. db 14 years ago
      
      If you're on the phone with your incarcerated boyfriend the day after you were supposedly raped talking about how to make money off of it, I have a problem with the accusation's credibility.
      
      Yeah, that's pretty stupid. But maybe she's just an opportunistic rape victim. If DSK turns out to have been set up, I wonder what lies in store for the maid, and especially for the prosecutors. Did they promote publicity, or did they roll with the inevitable in a case involving such a high profile defendant?
      1. Fluffy 14 years ago
        
        Oh sure, she might just be opportunistic.
        
        But if the standard is reasonable doubt, I don't see how reasonable doubt can fail to exist in such a circumstance. "Maybe" she's just opportunistic implies that doubt all by itself.
        
        db 14 years ago
        
        True. An in a he-said-she-said situation it has to be appropriate to consider the reliability of the alleged victim. But that should not change the parallel investigation into physical evidence one bit. What I worry about sometimes is that prosecutors will chase evidence to prove guilt, but not evidence implying innocence. In the case of a powerful defendant, it's possible prosecutors will look for an excuse to not look too hard for evidence of guilt.
  2. carrot fop 14 years ago
    
    Anyone want to guess how many drug dealers the average IMF chief has connections to?
    1. db 14 years ago
      
      Probably a specialist for each drug. You don't buy a Ferrari from a Lamborghini dealer.
P Brooks 14 years ago

"If they can build it in China, why can't we build it here?"

MSNBC is beating the High speed rail gong this morning. America's Luddite rejection of sleek and beautiful ultra-fast trains is a tragedy and a national disgrace.
1. Joe M 14 years ago
  
  Gong? Nice.
  1. Fluffy 14 years ago
    
    Talking about China and gongs is straight up RACIST!
2. MNG 14 years ago
  
  The two groups I wish would exit the liberal coalition the most: public health nannys and public transportation zealots. The latter pushing for their monorails in an economic downturn is beyond the pale imo.
  1. Joe M 14 years ago
    
    But monorails put Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, and Brockway on the map!
    1. MNG 14 years ago
      
      Were you sent here by the Devil?
      1. FlyoverCountry 14 years ago
        
        No good sir, I'm on the level!
  2. Joe M 14 years ago
    
    Oh, and you'll have a hard time losing the public health nannies crowd when the head nanny is first lady.
3. chemjeff 14 years ago
  
  It's hard for me to understand why the modern, progressive, forward-looking left has decided to embrace 19th century technology.
  1. Fluffy 14 years ago
    
    Yeah, that really makes no sense.
    
    I've always thought it was a much more libertarian technology.
    1. newshutz 14 years ago
      
      COOOOASE!
    2. chemjeff 14 years ago
      
      Naww, it is not individualist enough.
      1. Fluffy 14 years ago
        
        Right, but it seems to me to be the more likely medium- and long-haul transportation system to arise in a pure market environment.
        
        Cars may feel more individualist once you're driving one, but a car-centric transportation system requires more statist intervention to create.
4. Bilbo 14 years ago
  
  just what we fucking need, high speed rails so the TSA can get invovled...
  
  Just think if we all start to ride trains the auto industry will get another bailout because of govt subsidized trains.....
  
  who is funding this shit the IMF?
P Brooks 14 years ago

Twenty billion dollars a year for choo choo trains is peanuts.

PEANUUUUUUUUUUUTS, I tells ya!
1. MillionaireBillionaire Fat Cat 14 years ago
  
  I hope I can still fly my corporate jet to the monorail station.
  1. PIRS 14 years ago
    
    The blue collar workers who build and maintain your jet also hope so.
    1. carrot fop 14 years ago
      
      I can picture the grimy faces of those blue collar jet builders now as they walk out the gate in the chain link fence carrying their lunch buckets with the sound of the "quittin' time" steam whistle shrieking in the background.
      1. PIRS 14 years ago
        
        Do you think jets just appear magically out of thin air? How do you think they come into existence? Who do you think maintains them?
        
        carrot fop 14 years ago
        
        Calm down Bruce Springstein.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        I notice you did not actually answer my question: Do you think jets just appear magically out of thin air? How do you think they come into existence? Who do you think maintains them?
        
        carrot fop 14 years ago
        
        I notice you assume that I think jets appear magically out of thin air. FYI, I am familiar with the concept of runways and finite flying speeds.
        
        PIRS 14 years ago
        
        So, how would you describe the people who build them?
        
        Sean 14 years ago
        
        At the basic level, people with A&P certifications. I'm sure the guys who design them all have advanced engineering degrees and scant social skills.
        
        Graphite 14 years ago
        
        Do you think jets just appear magically out of thin air? How do you think they come into existence? Who do you think maintains them?
        
        They're maintained by Martin Sheen of Bluestar Airlines.
        
        Almanian 14 years ago
        
        The parts come in the factory, the jets go out the factory.
        
        You can't explain that...
Fluffy 14 years ago

I remain in the "I bet Sarkozy is behind this" camp.
1. Franklin Harris 14 years ago
  
  Well, the world needs at least one evil genius politician. I get tired of nothing but evil idiots.
  
  Oh, and the one who's apparently a dick.
Fluffy 14 years ago

So what are the French papers like today?

I'd check it out myself, but I don't speak any culturally inferior languages.
1. Joe M 14 years ago
  
  Raciste!
Fluffy 14 years ago

And since I'm indulging conspiracy theories this morning, I also think it's a little odd that the "very firm and credible" rape accusation that produced DSK's resignation from the IMF suddenly turns into "Oh shit, she lied!" a day or two after his successor there shores up the votes to secure the position.

Why, it's almost as if the accusation wasn't needed any more as soon as that happened. Gosh.
carrot fop 14 years ago

It seems whenever I get down about the prospects for America's future, I run across evidence that the entrepreneurial spirit in America is not dead. It warms my heart. I feel a good cry coming on. *sniff*
Ron 14 years ago

Where's the kitchen sink?
Jay S 14 years ago

Is that his skin tone accurately depicted?

RACIST!
Franklin Harris 14 years ago

President Obama is playing golf while the economy flounders?

Why is Michael Moore not making a movie about this???
Max 14 years ago

Tendentious shit is never funny. Ask former Soviet commies. True believers can't do satire.
1. db 14 years ago
  
  In Soviet Russia, Tendentious shits you!
  1. Yakov Smirnoff 14 years ago
    
    Can I use this one?
Max 14 years ago

Just like the commies, you libertoid assholes make fun only of official enemies. Keep the faith, comrade.
1. PIRS 14 years ago
  
  We don't have "official" anything. I don't even consider you an enemy Max, your cheerful disposition always brightens my day! 🙂
2. Jack 14 years ago
  
  RACIST!!
3. Mr. FIFY 14 years ago
  
  Speaking from past experience as a commie, Max?
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ivy 14 years ago

Just like the commies, you libertoid assholes make fun only of official enemies. Keep the faith, comrade.
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