Friday Funnies

Obamanomics

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  1. This effort is not entirely subpar (although I better not see a spear in that bag). And Obama’s lies are never that good.

    1. A++ for the “lie” joke.

    2. You know what is in that bag? A shovel, which is also known as a spade.

      RACIST!

      1. better with Bush’s head sticking out of the golf bag.
        the Bush Bashers Inc. would be proud…

      2. Also a crowbar, as in Jim Crow.

        RACIST!

      3. A battle axe, as in Obama’s nagging shrew of a wife.

        RACIST!

        1. I can’t believe you all missed the Plain Old Axe, implying Obama’s “axing” for help with the economy, which is therefore:

          RACIST!

  2. When all you have is a baseball bat, all problems start looking like golf balls.

    1. nice twist

  3. So you are saying Obama is “athletic”? RACIST!!

    1. He’s also articulate.

  4. Is that a crow bar?

    Racist! Straight up!

    1. It is also saying Obama is too poor to buy proper golf clubs. Racist!!

      1. There’s also a poleaxe in that bag, implying he is a barbarian. RACIST!

        1. poleaxe? halberd!

          1. So, Obama is hitting golf balls toward the Economy hole. The Economy is a hole? The Economy is in a hole? Obama is trying to ball the Economy? Obama has white balls? I’m still trying to figure out the message.

            posted in reply to the wrong comment.

      2. I dunno. Swords and axes don’t come cheap. Unless they’re stolen. Racist!

  5. He’s all hopey-changey you betcha!

  6. Seriously? No “hole-in-one” jokes?

    1. I believe it’s spelled “hoe in one.”

  7. I also like the golf-ball inflation.

    1. Obama sure is swinging a lot of wood.

      posted in reply to the wrong comment.

  8. He can probably play golf with a bat better than he can bowl.

    1. I’wl say. I cowuld take hiscandyazz anydawy.

  9. Notice the white men in the background showing disdain for letting a blackish man into their exclusive country club? That symbolizes white America’ inherent racism.

    And I don’t even want to tell you what that large brown bat hitting tiny white balls indicates.

    1. It looks more like fear than disdain, but still racist.

    2. Those dudes are’nt just white, they are transparent…

      1. His ears give him away as Obama. Tiger Woods does not have ears like that. Plus he looks older than Tiger Woods

        1. posted in reply to the wrong comment.

          1. Why is Obama’s hoe in Boston instead of in his golf bag?

            posted in reply to the wrong comment.

        2. But he seems to be playing at Tiger’s recent level…

      2. They represent jobs created and saved, which is why they have no substance.

        1. Ghosts of transparency promises past.

          1. Obama pulls out his wood whenever he sees white balls.

            posted in reply to the wrong comment.

          2. Ghost = “spook” = RACIST

            You guys are bringin’ it hard today. Way to racist it up, Reason.

      3. black ghosts are transparent too

        1. RACIST!

  10. I hope he spends more time playing golf. The more time he spends playing golf the less time he spends “fixing” the economy. BY “fix” I mean in the veterinary sense of the word.

  11. This is what happens when there are no morning links.

  12. Is that Judge Smails in the background?

    1. I think it’s time for the old Billy Baroo

      1. Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy…

        1. You??? BUY Bushwood??? Harrumphharrumph.

  13. As usual, it needs more labels.

    1. Is the guy Obama or Tiger Woods?

      1. That would make the weapon sticking up the highest in the bag Elin, right?

      2. His ears give him away as Obama. Tiger Woods does not have ears like that. Plus he looks older than Tiger Woods

  14. Wow, you’re saying that putting a community organizer in charge of the country is like letting the caddie play in the US Open.

    Even Tracey Morgan thinks that’s an inappropriate joke.

  15. By the way, this only makes sense if he’s on #5 green but playing hole #2.

  16. A caddy should be included the drawing; a union thug, Lord Keynes, Karl Marx, Tim Geithner, somebody like that.

  17. People Round These Parts May Have Jumped to Conclusions Too Fast on IMF Chief’s Case (Who’da thunk it?)

    Attorneys for Dominique Strauss-Kahn will ask a court to reduce the conditions of his bail after New York City prosecutors raised serious concerns about the hotel chambermaid who accused the former International Monetary Fund managing director of sexual assault, according to a person familiar with the case.

    Strauss-Kahn may be freed from house arrest Friday after attorneys for both sides requested an unexpected late-morning hearing in State Supreme Court. Prosecutors are expected to tell the court that they have found information that raises questions about the chambermaid’s credibility, the person said.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ml?hpid=z1

    1. Iirc rather made a valiant attempt to urge caution to quite a many poster who trumpeted this case as pretty much closed, there’s going to be some interesting discussion if this goes through…

      1. What are you saying?

      2. Yeah, what are you getting at?

      3. The chambermaid may not be a virtuous angel – but he could still be guilty of sexual assualt.

        1. True, as always caution is the way to go. But like I said, if it pans out some people are going to reeeaaally learn the lesson.

          1. Like the socialist Strauss-Kahn who will learn that the state can be an uncaring beast that destroys the lives of innocent people?

            Personally, I see a Balko article coming out of this if the charges are dropped.

          2. Precisely why I always call them investigations!

      4. If this pans out the walking back on this one is going to be epic for many here.

        1. the walking back on this one is going to be epic

          You’re assuming that the commentators here can be shamed, and that reality trumps ideology.

          1. Why people rush to judgment on things they are not sure of or even close to in forums where their comments are preserved is beyond me. I assume it is because of the fun of the two minute hates it affords. But it does provide me with endless amusement when it blows up on them, as it often does.

            1. Behold the power of propaganda.

              And alcohol.

            2. Why people rush to judgment on things they are not sure of or even close to in forums where their comments are preserved is beyond me.

              I never rush to judgement even in the case of an obvious conspiracy to spring a privileged criminal free as in this case.

            3. Tell that to the Duke lacrosse team, MNG.

              1. Does it feel alittle close in here to you?

        2. Defense attorneys going after the credibility of prosecution witnesses. I wasn’t expecting that.

          Prosecutors are questioning the woman’s asylum application with U.S. immigration authorities as well as her possible connections to a convicted drug dealer, the Times said.

          The chambermaid had a telephone discussion with a convicted drug dealer within a day of the alleged assault and discussed the possible benefits of filing charges against Strauss-Kahn, according to the Times.

          They better have more than that.

          1. Moral of the story: If you’re going to rape the maid, make sure you pick a maid with a checkered past and a drug habit. That way your high powered lawyer can smear her (heck she practically deserved it!) and you can get away with it.

            1. When you’re in a hole, stop digging.

              1. Unvirtuous hen may lay with many roosters but can still be slaughtered for golden egg.

                1. Just because a hen likes to cock it up doesn’t mean she is always strutting.

                  1. What is it with the fucking son always get to play sidekick?

                    Not only do the Chinese ennoble their sons, Hollywood singles them out too.

                    1. The films were based upon novels written by Earl Derr Biggers.

                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Derr_Biggers

      5. C’mon MNG, you know women never ever lie about such things. This is all just a smear against her character by the Patriarchy.

        1. Did you fall for the lie WTF? We can always roll back the tape (God I love the internet).

          1. Go right ahead – I never made any assumption DSK was guilty.

            1. John|5.20.11 @ 8:06AM|#
              Perhaps not. I think it is highly probable he is guilty and highly probable he will be convicted.

              reply to this
              WTF|5.20.11 @ 8:15AM|#
              I agree, which is why I think he will certainly try to flee if the opportunity presents itself.

              1. God I am going to love the next few days.

                1. MNG has cemented his position that he’s definitely innocent. That was foolish.

                  1. I did? Where?

                    Logic, how does it work?

              2. Mea Culpa – it looks like I did jump the gun. I fell for the press/prosecutor’s accounts, and I should have known better.

                1. We all do it, and you’re just going to be the first of many caught on it, and you’re a good man for owning it. Besides, we don’t know if this press report is going to pan out.

                  1. True, he may in fact be guilty, we just need to see how it all pans out before jumping to conclusions.

                  2. Plus, it doesn’t necessarily sound like the information coming to light is directly related to the case.

                2. WTF, I sentence you to read my blog and comment!

                  1. If my handle is not mentioned on your blog is this a good thing or a bad thing?

                    1. Hmm, I’ve been asked why am I not on your blog? but never the ‘good or bad’ but it is neither.

                    2. I don’t really have a “blog”. I have a shared list of rss feeds that I “like” and “share” in Google Reader. It helps me keep up with sites I like. I can subecribe to your rss feed if you like — I tried keeping a blog at one time – not too sucessfull. I guess I just spend too much time on other things like work, learning Spanish, trying to finish my novel etc.

          2. MNG, thanks for seeing to it that no matter which side ends up winning, someone will be walking back their statements.

            1. It’s going to be a long walk for some.

        2. Oh yes they do lie about rape!

      6. Being innocent doesn’t make him less foreign.

        1. And the IMF is evil! That makes Strauss-Kahn guilty by association. Anyone can see that.

          1. And he was a Socialist! So none of this ‘evidence’ matters.

            1. Socialist=rapist. It’s self evident.

              1. definitional, actually

              2. To be fair, in DSK’s mind she was simply giving according to her “ability,” and he was receiving according to his “need.” He was just being intellectually consistent.

            2. And she was a drug user! So none of this ‘evidence’ matters.

            3. The rest of the story:

              He was/is a MILLIONAIRE socialist, a fact that invites the assumption he’s a liar and unprincipled.

    2. A separate law enforcement official who is familiar with the case but not authorized to speak about it publicly told the Associated Press that the issue was not necessarily about the rape accusation itself but about questions surrounding the alleged victim’s background that could damage her credibility on the witness stand. The official refused to elaborate.

      Prosecutors are questioning the woman’s asylum application with U.S. immigration authorities as well as her possible connections to a convicted drug dealer, the Times said.

      The chambermaid had a telephone discussion with a convicted drug dealer within a day of the alleged assault and discussed the possible benefits of filing charges against Strauss-Kahn, according to the Times.

      Prosecutors have found that the woman received $100,000 in cash payments in her bank accounts in recent years from the drug dealer and others. They also found she maintained multiple bank accounts.

      While I agree that this kind of information could be damaging to a case, does it really say anything about whether Strauss-Khan did what he was accused of?

      With connections and a history like this, it’s possible she could have been hired to make this kind of thing happen. Or not. The questions should be:
      1. Did Strauss-Khan do what he is accused of?
      2. Was he encouraged by the victim to do it?
      2a. If yes, figure out why and prosecute the victim and whoever may have paid her off
      2b. If no, throw the book at DSK.

      The question of her credibility as a witness smacks of DSK apologetics and is a transparent attempt to misdirect the prosecution from the real questions. She may be the slimiest crook in the world; does she deserve to get raped? No one deserves rape.

      Only if she tried to get “raped” in order to blackmail DSK (which obviously wouldn’t work once the police were notified), ruin his political career (which has happened already), or to take revenge on him for something else, should the question of her credibility enter into it.

      Did DSK get smeared in the press? Yes. Would she deserve to get smeared in the press if she did this for gain or revenge. Absolutely.

      1. If you’re on the phone with your incarcerated boyfriend the day after you were supposedly raped talking about how to make money off of it, I have a problem with the accusation’s credibility.

        It makes me believe there’s at least reasonable doubt that this case is the sex crime equivalent of some chick pretending to slip in a supermarket.

        1. You guys are taking all the fun out of this.

        2. If you’re on the phone with your incarcerated boyfriend the day after you were supposedly raped talking about how to make money off of it, I have a problem with the accusation’s credibility.

          Yeah, that’s pretty stupid. But maybe she’s just an opportunistic rape victim. If DSK turns out to have been set up, I wonder what lies in store for the maid, and especially for the prosecutors. Did they promote publicity, or did they roll with the inevitable in a case involving such a high profile defendant?

          1. Oh sure, she might just be opportunistic.

            But if the standard is reasonable doubt, I don’t see how reasonable doubt can fail to exist in such a circumstance. “Maybe” she’s just opportunistic implies that doubt all by itself.

            1. True. An in a he-said-she-said situation it has to be appropriate to consider the reliability of the alleged victim. But that should not change the parallel investigation into physical evidence one bit. What I worry about sometimes is that prosecutors will chase evidence to prove guilt, but not evidence implying innocence. In the case of a powerful defendant, it’s possible prosecutors will look for an excuse to not look too hard for evidence of guilt.

      2. Anyone want to guess how many drug dealers the average IMF chief has connections to?

        1. Probably a specialist for each drug. You don’t buy a Ferrari from a Lamborghini dealer.

  18. “If they can build it in China, why can’t we build it here?”

    MSNBC is beating the High speed rail gong this morning. America’s Luddite rejection of sleek and beautiful ultra-fast trains is a tragedy and a national disgrace.

    1. Gong? Nice.

      1. Talking about China and gongs is straight up RACIST!

    2. The two groups I wish would exit the liberal coalition the most: public health nannys and public transportation zealots. The latter pushing for their monorails in an economic downturn is beyond the pale imo.

      1. But monorails put Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, and Brockway on the map!

        1. Were you sent here by the Devil?

          1. No good sir, I’m on the level!

      2. Oh, and you’ll have a hard time losing the public health nannies crowd when the head nanny is first lady.

    3. It’s hard for me to understand why the modern, progressive, forward-looking left has decided to embrace 19th century technology.

      1. Yeah, that really makes no sense.

        I’ve always thought it was a much more libertarian technology.

        1. COOOOASE!

        2. Naww, it is not individualist enough.

          1. Right, but it seems to me to be the more likely medium- and long-haul transportation system to arise in a pure market environment.

            Cars may feel more individualist once you’re driving one, but a car-centric transportation system requires more statist intervention to create.

    4. just what we fucking need, high speed rails so the TSA can get invovled…

      Just think if we all start to ride trains the auto industry will get another bailout because of govt subsidized trains…..

      who is funding this shit the IMF?

  19. Twenty billion dollars a year for choo choo trains is peanuts.

    PEANUUUUUUUUUUUTS, I tells ya!

    1. I hope I can still fly my corporate jet to the monorail station.

      1. The blue collar workers who build and maintain your jet also hope so.

        1. I can picture the grimy faces of those blue collar jet builders now as they walk out the gate in the chain link fence carrying their lunch buckets with the sound of the “quittin’ time” steam whistle shrieking in the background.

          1. Do you think jets just appear magically out of thin air? How do you think they come into existence? Who do you think maintains them?

            1. Calm down Bruce Springstein.

              1. I notice you did not actually answer my question: Do you think jets just appear magically out of thin air? How do you think they come into existence? Who do you think maintains them?

                1. I notice you assume that I think jets appear magically out of thin air. FYI, I am familiar with the concept of runways and finite flying speeds.

                  1. So, how would you describe the people who build them?

                    1. At the basic level, people with A&P certifications. I’m sure the guys who design them all have advanced engineering degrees and scant social skills.

            2. Do you think jets just appear magically out of thin air? How do you think they come into existence? Who do you think maintains them?

              They’re maintained by Martin Sheen of Bluestar Airlines.

              1. The parts come in the factory, the jets go out the factory.

                You can’t explain that…

  20. I remain in the “I bet Sarkozy is behind this” camp.

    1. Well, the world needs at least one evil genius politician. I get tired of nothing but evil idiots.

      Oh, and the one who’s apparently a dick.

  21. So what are the French papers like today?

    I’d check it out myself, but I don’t speak any culturally inferior languages.

  22. And since I’m indulging conspiracy theories this morning, I also think it’s a little odd that the “very firm and credible” rape accusation that produced DSK’s resignation from the IMF suddenly turns into “Oh shit, she lied!” a day or two after his successor there shores up the votes to secure the position.

    Why, it’s almost as if the accusation wasn’t needed any more as soon as that happened. Gosh.

  23. It seems whenever I get down about the prospects for America’s future, I run across evidence that the entrepreneurial spirit in America is not dead. It warms my heart. I feel a good cry coming on. *sniff*

  24. Where’s the kitchen sink?

  25. Is that his skin tone accurately depicted?

    RACIST!

  26. President Obama is playing golf while the economy flounders?

    Why is Michael Moore not making a movie about this???

  27. Tendentious shit is never funny. Ask former Soviet commies. True believers can’t do satire.

    1. In Soviet Russia, Tendentious shits you!

      1. Can I use this one?

  28. Just like the commies, you libertoid assholes make fun only of official enemies. Keep the faith, comrade.

    1. We don’t have “official” anything. I don’t even consider you an enemy Max, your cheerful disposition always brightens my day! 🙂

    2. Speaking from past experience as a commie, Max?

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