The Inevitable Weiner's Pulling Out Thread; Sorry It Took So Long to Get it Up, Etc.

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) has finally decided to resign his position after an ignominious Twitter and nudie-pic scandal involving self-generated crotch shots sent to various women around teh Interweb.

Weiner resigns despite surveys of his New York City constituents suggesting that a majority (56 percent) want him to stay in office, doing the people's business.

So long, Rep. Weiner, we knew ye too well. Politicians have resigned over lesser signs of character signs and/or mental problems, and many others have stayed in office while presenting far more disturbing symptoms. In either case, it's never a sorry day when a politician steps down from power. Especially when that pol not only denied the charges but suggested that Islamic terrorists may have hacked his social media accounts to send around photos of what he admitted was his own junk. I think it was either Gertrude Stein or Yakov Smirnoff who said that not only is reality stranger than we imagine, but stranger than we can imagine.

All your Weiner jokes are belong to us in the comments thread.

Previous Weiner coverage at Reason.

Comments

[Citizen Nothing]

"...a majority (56 percent) want him to stay in office."
As the old saying goes, It's better to be fucked by the Weiner you know than the one you don't.

[Rhywun]

Yeah, don't look out but his replacement will very likely be worse. Weiner was pretty much a moderate for these parts, at least when he was running against Bloomberg a few rounds ago.

[deified]

History's Greatest Monster...Slain. Finally.

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

"Previous Weiner coverage at Reason."

I ain't wearin' no Jimmy-cap.

[Captain Obvious]

Insert dick joke here.

[wylie]

hehe, "Insert dick", hehe.

(same joke for the "Gary Johnson Inserts Himself Into the Debate" headline too. hehe, "Johnson".)

[Richard Joke]

It's pronounced Jo-kay!!!

[Joe R.]

Frankly, it's about time he stopped hot dogging.

[MWG]

"The Inevitable Weiner's Pulling Out Thread; Sorry It Took So Long to Get it Up..."

*That's what she said*

[ClubMedSux]

In Russia, dick pic tweets you!

[ClubMedSux]

C'mon... If you mention Yakov, you know it's coming.

[Nick]

(badump bump)

[Anthony's Weiner]

coming

Mother!

[Episiarch]

Damn it, I was hoping for a much longer, protracted scandal with potential litigation or charges. Fuck you, Weiner! You had the potential to distract Washington for longer, and you didn't! What a prick.

[JW]

I wish that Huma didn't have to come home and ruin the party. This level of pathetically narcissistic self-destruction is no less than epic.

[SugarFree]

She has to get her teeth filed down at regular intervals or they will grow up into the roof of her mouth and pierce her brain.

[CrackertyAssCracker]

Ya I was hoping he would stay in Congress forever. He'd be a nice constant reminder what a bunch of narcissistic lying power hungry scumbags make up most of congress.

[yet another dave]

It was the "narcissistic lying power hungry scumbags" who forced him out the wiener wanted to stay in

[sarcasmic]

He's a one-pump-chump.

[SugarFree]

So, you're saying they didn't really stretch the Wiener out like you wanted?

[Paul]

Damn it, I was hoping for a much longer, protracted scandal

Longer, uncut Weiner?

[fresno dan]

I felt our Weiner...the nations's weiner...
Somehow, I began to feel he was my weiner. I thought we should all grip out weiner and hold on tight... I wanted to hold on tight to my weiner...(OH, I do hold onto my own weiner way too much)
Sure, he wasn't the biggest dick in congress. Typically, a congressman an hour resigns for putting his weiner where it doesn't belong.
But has there every been a congressional Weiner named weiner?
This man, this weiner, ALONE did more to educate the American people that their congressmen are weiners, ...dicks, than the last 100 congressmen who resigned.
Oh, I though we should hold on to our Weiner...indeed, keep our Weiner deep in the bowels of Congress.
But now we have withdrawn our Weiner, and now there is a big emptiness....well, more like the emptiness caused by a less than 7 inch weiner...
I hope the true scope of the weiner ... episode is determined

[Shirley Knott]

But where oh where were the mainstream media reports on his support, headlined "Hands off our Weiner!"?
It would have been so in keeping with the rest of this circus...

no hugs for thugs,
Shirley Knott

[Fist of Etiquette]

I can't think of any unused jokes. I'm totally choking on the Weiner thread! And I wanted it so bad, too.

[Sparky]

Heh heh, choking on the weiner... good one.

[PapayaSF]

For those of you who missed them in an earlier thread, my limericks:

There once was a man in DC,
with a boner he thought girls should see.
He tweeted a pic,
but made a wrong click,
and from now on a punchline he'll be.

There once was a Congressman Weiner,
whom everyone thought was much keener.
Sent a pic of his dick
to a chick with a click,
now the laughter can hardly get meaner.

A congressman who is not gay,
was seeking a virtual lay,
but the address was wrong
and we all saw his schlong,
now in Congress few wish he would stay.

The congressman (present career)
enjoyed the occasional leer.
A pic of his fly,
then lie after lie:
one wrong click can be very dear.

A gasbag was zooming along,
but liked to take pics of his dong.
Now they're in the news,
with millions of views,
and Congress won't want him for long.

An arrogant man from New York,
Republicans he liked to torque.
A tweet of his meat
he can never delete,
now into his job goes the fork.

Congressman Weiner had nerve.
From statism he'd never swerve.
But the pics of his pecs
and the browser-based sex
mean that everyone laughs at the perv.

A Weiner with plenty of snark,
had habits he kept in the dark.
Now his life's just debris,
'cause he did not foresee,
a tweet that could leave such a mark.

In Washington he was excelling.
No more, since he tweeted his swelling.
Just one click of a mouse,
now he's seen as a louse,
and fewer will buy what he's selling.

A congressman, now very nervous,
knows he's done his new wife a disservice.
With his dick on display,
he can no longer say,
that it's all just constituent service.

This fellow who lived in DC,
a future he thought he could see,
but some dick pics on Twitter
sent his plans down the shitter,
now a giggle he'll for-ever be.

A Weiner who seemed pretty clean,
loved photos (he did like to preen).
But a pic of his tent
in a tweet, got missent,
and now public, it can't be unseen.

A man with a pretty good life,
he reveled in partisan strife.
But his digital flings,
with those pics to young things,
are quite hard to explain to a wife.

A congressman (New York elite),
had a thing about showing his meat.
To mayor he'd go,
but now he's a schmoe,
and his home life, at present: not sweet.

A lawmaker, born in New York,
was trolling for coeds to pork.
With his pec implants bare,
and his tool in the air,
but alas, he just looks like a dork.

A fellow who often seemed snotty,
to coeds sent pictures quite grotty.
But his lies had to go,
as more flesh came to show,
and his future now seems very spotty.

The pictures were quite anatomical.
He called it a plan diabolical.
But his story did fold,
'cause the lies could not hold,
and right now it's all really quite comical.

[Mean Mrs. Mustard]

C-

[Clich? Bandit]

screw you, those are awesome.

[ClubMedSux]

Much like the Beatles White Album or Ryan Adams' entire catalog, there's some good stuff there but it could benefit from some self-editing.

[PapayaSF]

I gratefully accept the White Album comparison. I didn't post a few that weren't as good as the others.

[fresno dan]

insightful, delightful, and it rhymes, the true mark of great poetry!

[JW]

"Weiner bites Weiner"

[Comment Tater]

Would it have been funnier if his name had been Johnson? Discuss.

[CrackertyAssCracker]

People have the ability to ignore how funnny "Johnson" can be.

Example : Magic Johnson. How can anybody say his name with out laughing?

[wylie]

*snort* *chortle*

Nope, couldn't do it.

[Comment Tater]

Good point. But not "magic" enough to thwart HIV.*

*Too soon?

[Zeb]

The HIV is the magic.

[SFC B]

Guy has been HIV+ for, what, 20 years? I'd say he's thwarting the fuck out of HIV.

[Alan Vanneman]

Gary Johnson inserts himself!

?2011 Alan Vanneman

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

I'm told it's spelled Anal.

[John C. Randolph]

Congratulations to the Democrats for ridding themselves of their current top embarrassment in the Congress. I hope that they will continue this promising development, and get busy on Barney Frank and Charlie Rangel.

Meanwhile, the Republicans can start with Lindsey Graham and anyone else who voted for TARP.

-jcr

[Barney Frank]

I've been waiting so long for someone to get busy on me.

[shrike]

Weiner should have played the Jesus card like a GOPer would.

"I've been redeemed, boys! I found Jesus!".

It works for anything - I hear.

[SugarFree]

Your monomania is tedious in the extreme.

[dbcooper]

+10

[shrike]

Because assholes here can bash a classic liberal like Soros all day long - but Whoa Be Unto You if you are critical of a theocrat GOPer!

[Citizen Nothing]

Yeah. Keep you hands off our santorum, fucker.

[SugarFree]

I'm pretty sure he drank it all.

[ClubMedSux]

That might be the most disgusting comment I've ever read in an H&R comment thread, and that's saying something.

[Citizen Nothing]

I think that was the plot of chapter 9 of Scrotie McBoogerballs.
(I just got my copy of Season 14 of South Park. Three episodes in and it's kicking major ass.)

[sevo]

shrike|6.16.11 @ 12:39PM|#
"Because assholes here can bash a classic liberal like Soros..."

Only to shithead liars. Here's that 'classic lib' Soros:
"According to Soros, market fundamentalism with its assumption that markets will correct themselves with no need for government intervention in financial affairs has been "some kind of an ideological excess"."

[shrike]

MFer-ism is another name for a bubble/Depression.

[sevo]

shrike|6.16.11 @ 1:11PM|#
"MFer-ism is another name for a bubble/Depression."

shrike is another name for brain-dead ignoramus.

[brain dead ignoramus]

I'm highly offended!

[Troy]

It doesn't work for the clap. You have to get a shot for that. And Warty, I gave health services your number. Expect a call.

[OO]

shrike - weiner is jewish.

[shrike]

I know - that would make it 10x more comical.

I could pull it off - I am an Anglo. The Pat Robertson crowd would love me.

Esp if I busted some tears like Swaggert or Mark Sanford.

[OO]

so treu shrieke these socalled "christans" juts cry & ask forgivness wile dems get burnd at teh steak

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

Here's what you don't get, dipshit. If someone truly believes in Jesus and then shoots up a bus load of third graders, that doens't change the fact that they truly believe in Jesus.

belief =/= action

[the real oo]

mammy - that's my creepy estalker u responded to.

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

I don't give a fuck.

[CoyoteBlue]

I miss him already.

[dbcooper]

I'm cracking up at the twits blaming the republicans for his resignation.

[sevo]

Hey, that girl might be a GOP member.

[rather]

Politicians have resigned over lesser signs of character signs and/or mental problems

I love how reporting makes one a psychiatric expert.

[Mike M.]

You don't exactly need a doctorate to be able to tell that this guy has serious issues.

[rather]

I don't think there is anything wrong with sexting but if you don't like it, don't engage in it

The 'I didn't like it' statements are between six months and two years too late to take seriously.

[Butts Wagner]

There is something wrong with a 47 yr old man having some sort of long conversation(s?) with 17 year old girls he doesn't personally know on the internet. It doesn't matter what the conversations are about. It's pretty weird. Let's assume everything was above the board in this case. How many 47 yr old men have an interest in platonic internet relationships with women/girls 25-30 years younger than them?

[rather]

Butts, They had a mutual interest in politics and he plenty of older people mentor 17 year olds. Their conversation were not sexual in nature. Why condemn the relationship when there is no evidence? Would it make a difference to you if Weiner were female? If the teenager was male?

[Mike M.]

I don't think there is anything wrong with sexting.

If you're in college, maybe. If you're 46 years old and married, his behavior is abnormal. Please don't sit there and try and tell me you'd be OK with your husband doing this crap.

[Rhywun]

There's a difference between "abnormal" and "wrong".

[rather]

Mike, the sexting is his partners and his wife's concern, not mine. I don't have an issue with sexting per say.

I don't care what people do with their marriages

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

"I don't have an issue with sexting per say."

For the love of god! Please. Don't!!!!!

[Nick]

He did say he was seeking treatment for his addiction. Or, STFU you talentless cunt.

[rather]

Nick, you sweet little boy, It is PR101 to go into rehab for whatever society has deemed the latest bad behavior.

BTW, my cunt is very talented. References upon request.

[Sparky]

Is biting a "talent"?

[Nick]

References? No one's going to admit to that.

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

"References upon request"

No doubt available by the truck load.

"Mercy sakes alive! We got ourselves a convoy!

[Employment listings]

Please provide the references. Chronological order preferred.

[rather]

My first great love Lucius Annaeus Seneca went little crazy after I returned to my time. I can't betray the names even on my time travelling lover's list

[Warty]

I go away for a while, and you people still haven't eliminated this tedious cuntsore? You all disgust me.

[rather]

I love it when you talk dirty old man

[dbcooper]

Have some thursday afternoon Roxy Music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....r_embedded

[Resto Druid FTW]

Too bad I can't watch vids at work... Brian Ferry FTW

[Mike M.]

Sooner or later, Weiner will rise again.

[Troy]

I really don't see why he should go. It isn't like he is the only narcissistic fuck in congress. Surely he hasn't done damage to liberty like that tax cheat fuck Charlie Rangel.

I can't think of any new Weiner jokes. The more you blow your load, the harder it is to reload.

[shrike]

If he were really banging hot chicks then he deserves a Congressional citation.

The fact that he only cybered them is just lame.

[Rick James]

Charlie Rangel!

[bosty]

He's resigning because it's about to be confirmed he's the goatse guy

[Big Mistake]

the goatse guy

Not knowing what that is, I googled it.

[Brett L]

You really oughtn't do that at H&R.

[hmm]

Internet 1
You 0

[Clich? Bandit]

coffee sprayed on my keyboard again...My condolences, also ignore any post of SugarFree's that is longer than 3 sentences. Just to be safe.

[my own man]

What's really funny is that he'll now be a sympathetic figure and will ride that to the mayor's office in NYC. The GOPers did this guy a favor by not letting a private matter stay private.

Suckers.

[Sparky]

Weiner rides to the mayor's office?

[my own man]

It'll either be that or "Alec Baldwin Rides Weiner Flap To Mayor's Office."

I like mine better.

[NYC Transportation Dept.]

http://www.reedberry.com/wienermobile.html

[Sparky]

Well played sir.

[Sparky]

Weiner pulls out, did his resignation come too soon?

[fresno dan]

Weiner pulls out, finds it hard to reenter the polity...as support is flaccid.

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

Weiner pulls out, finds it hard to reenter the polity...as support is flaccid has dried up.

[hmm]

From what I've heard Nancy and Boehner haven't jerked the Weiner yet.

[Sparky]

How about "Boehner takes Weiner in hand, pulls out of office".

[Hounded out of office...]

Pelosi, Reid, Obama, Feinstein mount campaign to remove Weenie.

[SugarFree]

The Jezebel Weiner retirement thread is deranged hilarious rationalization at its best.

The fact is that rocking the boat will always make you a target.

Yeah. That's why all this happened. Because of the vast right-wing conspiracy forced him to send pics of his wedding tackle to random women. Sure.

[Tman]

SugarFree: reading Jezebel so you don't have to!

I'm not sure how you got that job, but please don't ever make me do it. I prefer remaining blissfully unaware of what Jezebel commenters think about, well, pretty much anything.

[Au H20]

Yeah, but I now read Feministing so SF doesn't have to. Shit and crazy roll downhill.

[Au H20]

Dude, toss out the name "Spitzer" to liberals sometime and see them falling over themselves to explain how he was set-up by the EVIL BANKERZ on Wall Street.

[just sayin]

Client Number Nine can be abbreviated as CNN.

[Anoynmous Coward]

Queen Idiot of the Jezzies for the Day:

SuperStella:

The worst he's guilty of is lying (and being a dick in that one interview).

Weiner Admits Contact With Underage Girl

[Au H20]

Jesus, those comments are stupid. Firstly, they actually refer to political parties as teams. Secondly, they all seem to think that this is because of the vast right wing conspiracy, which controls the media (except most major newspapers and MSNBC, apparently). And thirdly, they go for the most tired of liberal excuses, "If only our leaders weren't such wimps! They should be yelling at Republicans and circling the wagons! Because, if we just yelled at Republicans more and said that they were wrong, the public would love us!

[Anthony's Weiner]

The fact is that rocking the boat will always make you a target.

But I didn't "rock the boat"!

[fresno dan]

I thought "Weiner" to anybody on Jezebel was like holy water to Vampires. Or it was like "The Village" - of that of which we do not speak.
Isn't the generic word weiner equivalent to rape at that site?

[Jeff P]

Another penis-related resignation of an American lawmaker. This phenomenon must be the triple digits by now, second only to allegations against clergy.

So, what if it was some other vocation? What if over the course of a year four or five plumbers or wedding planners or chartered accountants whipped out their dicks in public or on the internet?
It would be called an epidemic.

[Hounded out of office...]

...by the Democratic Party puritans. Obama's remarks were the final "blow".

[Anoynmous Coward]

Obama gives Weiner the Final Blow?

[Hounded out of office...]

That's about the size of it...

[Joe M]

His name is a slang term for penis, get it?

[Shmenge]

I thought it was spelled and pronounced differently.

[Travis8188]

As long as Wiener asserted himself, Congress would be paralyzed with fear. Now, on to more pressing matters.

[Fist of Etiquette]

newspaper headline:
"pols to get hard on weiner"
a career cut short

[Joe M]

I still like the two from last week: "Weiner Shocker!" and "Weiner comes clean on explicit photo"

[Au H20]

Weiner just lacked the firm, stiff resolve that the truly great show under pressure.

I'm sure this is the first time ever that Nancy ever got a man to do something prematurely.

[Barry D]

This sounds like he was a real Islamophobe!

[fishfry]

Why doesn't Charlie Rangel have to resign? Is it because financial felonies are not regarded as nearly as serious as non-sexual sex?

[Mike M.]

The guy has been around forever, so my guess is he knows where too many of the bones are buried.

[Anthony's Weiner]

bones are buried

RRRRRuff!

[Joe M]

Financial felonies are just another day at the office in congress.

[Pro Libertate]

This strikes me as a premature evacuation.

[Paul]

Niiiiice.

[Travis8188]

Eventual outcome, more likely than not:
Wiener-Spitzer
only on CNN TONIGHT

[Travis8188]

Wiener out, Wiener tossed, Wiener down.

[yet another dave]

These Wiener types are so sociopathic that it never occurs to them to (in this case) say something like "Yes that was me, it was meant to be be private, unfortunately it has become public. I have spoken to my wife and apologized however it remains to be seen if that will be possible blah blah I would only ask that you please respect HER privacy through this difficult time." So they go down lying... basically the same way they got elected in the first place so commonly tedious... Wiener why don't you just quietly fuck off now.

[Pro Libertate]

I heard part of an interview with him when he was still stonewalling--what an arrogant, stupid prick!

Frankly, it would be nice if we, as a culture, would really turn on these jackasses more often. Instead, we watch them on TV and listen to their bullshit excuses.

[Fist of Etiquette]

a weiner tweeted
pic of dick flood internets
the sack surely next

[P Brooks]

Tweets shorts and leaves.

[Citizen Nothing]

heh heh

[WinningTheFuture_WithSalmon]

Well played, well played.

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

Weiner Sacked

[Sparky]

Congress has balls to sack Weiner.

[dunkel]

Weiner missed the memo: Erections have consequences.

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

RACIST!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Confucius say: Man get cocky on twitter, get sack next day.

[fresno dan]

Confucius say: Weiner should not be cocky on twitter

[P Brooks]

"Pelosi Down on Weiner"

[Mammy Sent Dis Ovah]

eeeew!

[R C Dean]

The resignation was lulzy. A rowdy Brooklyn crowd, hurling abuse the whole time. Right after he says "I'm resigning", somebody yells "Bye-bye, pervert."

Also, he wrapped by saying he was still looking to contribute his talents to the community. I about drove off the road. Given how pissed Huma must be, I suspect he'll be taking his talent to South Beach for awhile.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I have to admit, it kind of steams my turnip a little bit that this douchebag is being forced out for no real crime by the slimy assholes in leadership who will be keeping their positions despite being corrupt as fuck. End of rant.

[R C Dean]

I was talking to someone taking the "why should he resign? He didn't commit any crimes" angle.

I asked them if they would keep him on if he were their employee.

Long silence.

[Anthony's Weiner]

Because they thought you asked "How long would you keep on him?"

[the real oo]

angel? u mean like the angle of the dangle...?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mind you, I assume Weiner to be a self-serving prick like the rest of them. I want them to resign for real reasons.

[Pro Libertate]

He got caught lying. That's enough for me. And yes, my system would deplete Congress of a quorum quite quickly.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I suppose my complaint is that, by focusing on these kinds of relatively meaningless things as being monumentally embarrassing enough to cause a lawmaker to resign, it seems we look at every other thing they do as being acceptable.

The pieces of shit steal freedoms to pad their resumes or to line their pockets, step on one citizen to favor another, and generally fuck us all in the ass on a whim, but a fucking twitter pic is what gets attention. When they said it was a distraction, they weren't lying, just mistaken as to from what.

[fresno dan]

I thought the lying Weiner did was a real service. And it helps expose how congress works.
The lies were well designed, well crafted. The best lie has truth in it (accounts can be hacked, someone from the right could be after him).
Yes, these were well thought out lies. Weiner talked to Clinton ...I see it in the lies.
If he remained in, every journalist would have to thoroughly interrogate him on any point he brought up. Maybe journalists would try that with every congressman.
Until people understand that every thing congress says is a lie, especially "and" and "the" we need to keep a big, throbbing, purple reminder of how the dicks in congress phrase things.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Any sympathy I might have had instantly evaporated when he claimed that this might be "the point of al-Qaeda's sword".

(And then immediately afterwards bragged about how his Twitter has more followers than Bachmann's. You stay classy, Weiner.)

[hazy]

so will the msm subpoena for his emails now?!? pretty sure it'll be more interesting than the last one... or has there been too much, uh, pressure on the weiner already?

[ChrisO]

Headline writers everywhere just fell into a deep depression at the news.

[Marty]

The quote has been ascribed to many, but only sourced to the Biologist J.B.S. Haldane. It goes: " Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." I submit, however, that the behavior of politicians is no queerer than we suppose or can suppose. Instead, we are just a bit saddened when, every now and then, they prove our suppositions to be true.

That said, he's a putz and his defenders are beneath contempt.

[John David Galt]

The only thing scandalous about this story is that another guy was hounded out of his job for behaving like a guy.

The feminazis are the ones who are beneath contempt.

[PantsFan]

found on my twitter feed:
"Still feel bad for Anthony Weiner. An awesome politician. US politicians have refused to resign over much, much worse."

WTF

[Big Sis]

Weiner's mistake was not pinning this on the TSA. The aiprot machine tweeted my passenger screening.

and yes in Soviet Russia passengers screen you.

[Justin]

The humor gods have surely smiled on us. Of all the congressmen to send pictures of their package all around the interwebs to unsolicited women, it was the man named "Weiner". America, we should go play the slots before our luck runs out.

Anthony Weiner: The Onomatopoeia of American political scandal.

[NowPower]

* News Flash * Weiner Pulls Out

http://www.zazzle.com/weiner_p.....7525234592

Enjoy and Laugh !

[scarpe Nike Store]

is good