Reason Morning Links: Muslim Registration, Virginity Tests, Slow Death of the USPS


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  1. I hope warty didnt abuse my handle too much the last 2 weeks.

    1. If by “handle” you mean “penis”, then the answer is “yes.”

      1. It’s detachable?

        1. Its powers are vast and sundry.

          1. Sun-dried? I thought eunuchs kept their junk in little boxes to keep them fresh.

            1. but enough about tomatoes:
              Then, the elderly banker allegedly grabbed her breasts and began kissing her on the lips and neck.

              1. Sounds like the beginning of a SugarFree post.

        2. In your heads come up with a good Lorena Bobbit joke that’s somehow not dated and then give me credit for it.

  2. Salwa Hosseini, a 20-year-old hairdresser and one of the women named in the Amnesty report, described how she and 16 other female prisoners were taken to a military detention center in Heikstep. They were threatened that “those not found to be virgins” would be charged with prostitution.

    If they were really prostitutes then they could have charged the military personnel for the hymen check. Kink rates.

    1. We didn’t want them to say we had sexually assaulted or raped them, so we wanted to prove that they weren’t virgins in the first place,” the general said. “None of them were (virgins).

      A society has truly plumbed the depths of decadence when it can’t count on 20-year-old hairdressers to be virgins.

      1. So, rape doesn’t count if the victim isn’t a virgin? Muslim men better hide their wives.

        Oh, wait.

        1. Any non-married non-virgin was obviously asking for it. Hijab or not.

        2. Not virgin == prostitute == not rape.


  3. Help Iowahawk bring the Weinergate hacker to justice…..stice.html

    1. I’m pretty sure that’s Angela from Sleepaway Camp.

      1. I see that picture and then the “junk” pic he tweeted to that poor girl in Seattle and the old Rod Stewart Song “Do You think I am Sexy” keeps running through my head. What a dork. Congress can’t even produce a decent caliber of deviant anymore.

        I won’t blame him for chasing coeds, who hasn’t? And he is married to someone reputed to be Hilliary’s old girlfriend. So it is not like things are that great in the sack. But, you have to do better than this.

        1. Between this and Arnold, May has been a banner month for uggo-lovers.

          1. And the other dork who sent the photo of himself shirtless taken in the mirror. If I am ever in Congress and caught up in a sex scandal, it will be for being seen getting into a limo outside the Capitol grill with a 22 year old former Miss Venezuela. These losers can’t even properly abuse their positions.

            1. Weiner claims the pic was sent via hacking, do we know for sure that is not the case? I’d be hesitant before pronouncing.

              1. 1. He hasn’t informed the authorities. (Contrast this with Palin who immediately called the cops when her account was hacked)

                2. He has retained an attorney, odd behavior for a victim of a crime.

                3. Facebook hasn’t announced any investigation of Mr. Wiener’s allegedly hacked account.

                4) Twitter (the company) knows the IP address of the computer that really sent the tweet. However, Twitter hasn’t announced any investigation. They also haven’t released the IP address of the person who actually sent the tweet so we can see if that IP address belongs to the Democrat Rep. Wiener

                Yfrog knows the IP address of the person that actually uploaded the obscene photograph Mr. Wiener’s yfrog account. Thusfar, yfrog has not released that IP address so that we can track down the nefarious hacker who did that. Also, Mr. Wiener could request that they release that IP address to the public so we could help him track down the hacker. But he hasn’t.

                Mr. Wiener so far refuses to tell us what his own IP address is. And, he is refusing to answer detailed questions that would allow us to determine if the IP address which sent the tweet is at his home in New York.

                It’s trivially easy to determine if his accounts have REALLY been hacked. Is the FBI investigating? He is, after all, a sitting member of Congress and it is a felony to impersonate a member of Congress. It’s also a felony to hack people’s Facebook and Twitter accounts.

                1. it is a felony to impersonate a member of Congress. It’s also a felony to hack people’s Facebook and Twitter accounts.


                  So the guy spoofing Nancy Pelosi is a felon? And those assholes who write offensive crap on hacked facebooks too!? I never would have thought that these actions are so damaging to society that you should be stripped of your rights.

                  But hey, rules is rules.

                  1. A felony a day anti-chicken.

                2. In the NYT today they said that Wiener’s office is discussing his options with legal counsel re civil and/or criminal responses (and hardly odd behavior for one who has been the victim of a crime and/or tort), and that the companies you mention are simply saying they will not comment on private accounts. You’re dealing with innuendo and circumstance so far leading to nothing more than suggestion (“why wouldn’t he have called the cops immediately? if he did not do it” is a terrible argument, think of applying it generally).

                  1. When they find the “real hacker” you can gloat MNG. But I will take my chances this loser did it. Occam’s razor. Why would someone hack his account and managed to get a picture of a skinny white guy who looks just like him and send it to just the person that it would be most embarrassing instead of just tweeting something sexist or racist?

                    It just doesn’t make any sense. And if this guy were anything but a liberal Democrat, it wouldn’t make any sense to you. You are only doubting it because he is on your team.

                    And I wanted it noted, I have come down hard on Republican perverts as well. I never defended Larry Craig or any of the rest of them. If it comes to a Congressmen, I always er on the side of believing the worst.

                    1. It’s not about it making sense John. Believing in something just because it makes sense or it is the simpler explanation is not a very good way to be right on empirical matters all the time. Waiting for more evidence is my way.

                      Thank God you are not on any juries. “Well, of course he did it. If he didn’t do it why didn’t he call the police sooner? And why does he have a lawyer with him? And why was he in touch with the victim days before?”

                    2. “Believing in something just because it makes sense or it is the simpler explanation is not a very good way to be right on empirical matters all the time.”

                      Are you kidding? Yes, the simplest most sensible explanation is the mostly likely valid one. Things are exceptions because they don’t happen very often. Once again, Occam’s razor.

                    3. Consider a person who was the last person seen leaving his lover’s apartment before the lover was later found dead. Let’s even consider that they had an argument in public the day before and that he has a temper. He says that he went over to apologize and left her there well and that she rarely locked her door so maybe someone else happened by and killed her.

                      The simplest explanation would be he killed her, but I would like to hope no one here on a jury would conclude this based solely on this evidence!

                    4. Is is possible the person in your example whose lover is found dead innocent? Of course it is. But more times than not they are guilty.

                    5. All of these are legitimate questions to ask in a jury room.

                    6. And MNG just what exactly was a married Congressman from New York doing following a gorgeous coed from Seattle on twitter? There are hundreds if not thousands of lefty college journalists. Why is it that the one the Weiner decided to follow just happened to be an attractive single female?

                    7. I’m not sure what you mean by “followed?”

                    8. Here is also what I mean with the innuendo. There are myriad possible innocent explanations that may be true for why he “followed” her on Twitter.
                      Maybe he met her somewhere, or someone in his office is connected to her and turned him on to her (bad choice of words), etc.

                    9. Sure there are lots of “innocent explanations”. He just haven’t offered any of them.

                      Look at it this way MNG. If you were following the twitter account of some random coed in Seattle and an obscene picture of what appeared to be you got sent from your account to hers, would your wife believe your “innocent explanations”? Hell no. And neither should we believe Weiner’s.

                    10. Sure he has, his explanation was that his account was hacked and the message sent.

                      It’s not unheard of for national politicians to have their electronics hacked for pranks.

                    11. He was a follower of her Twitter account. She wasn’t following him. He was following her.

                    12. Larry Craig did nothing wrong. If it is a crime to pick up guys in a men’s room, the law needs to be changed.

                  2. The fact he has admitted PM’ing a porn star does nothing to establish a pattern of behavior here, either. Just keep whistling in the wind with MNG…

                  3. This bitch will argue anything.


                    1. @MNG, BTW.

            2. If I am ever in Congress and caught up in a sex scandal, it will be for being seen getting into a limo outside the Capitol grill with a 22 year old former Miss Venezuela.

              YOu are my hero, John.

        2. I am offering my services to any Congresscritter who wants to know how NOT to get caught in the digital beartrap but enjoy their “privileges”. Software developer, been on the interwebz since the tubes were phonelines, never once accidentally sent pictures of my junk to my entire facebook/twitter/craigslist ecosystem. $150/hr.

          1. This is funny,
            mind if I re-post?

        3. Really makes one think that only actual swingers should be elected. Pretty much do away with the whole ‘sex scandal’ thing. Probably be less likely to moralize and stuff. Plus, it would piss the SoCons off, which makes me happy, even though that feat is easier than kicking a sleeping puppy.

          1. I don’t think they have to be swingers. The problem is that a certain breed of repressed socially inept moron seems to be drawn into politics. It is fine for them to be faithful to their wives. I just someone approaching normal instead of the brand of (in the words of the immortal COL Bat Guano) deviated prevert that we seem to be getting.

            1. I just someone approaching normal instead of the brand of (in the words of the immortal COL Bat Guano) deviated prevert that we seem to be getting.

              Maybe that is normal.

            2. Here are some of the attributes of the politicians we tend to get (emphasis on those relevant to this discussion).

              1. Glibness/superficial charm
              2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
              3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
              4. Pathological lying
              5. Cunning/manipulative
              6. Lack of remorse or guilt
              7. Shallow affect
              8. Callous/lack of empathy
              9. Parasitic lifestyle
              10. Poor behavioural controls
              11. Promiscuous sexual behaviour
              12. Early behaviour problems
              13. Lack of realistic long-term goals
              14. Impulsivity
              15. Irresponsibility
              16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
              17. Many short-term marital relationships
              18. Juvenile delinquency
              19. Revocation of conditional release
              20. Criminal versatility

              1. In other words: politicians are typical extraverts.

          2. and way more satisfying

        4. I won’t blame him for chasing coeds, who hasn’t?

          Well, me, for one. Since I graduated, anyway.

  4. British people hate David Brooks.

    Doesn’t everyone?

    1. I thought Brooksie was SWPL.

      1. Single White Palestinian Lesbian?

        1. Is seeking NS GWF with access to explosives

          1. Prefer homeowner, bunker a plus.

  5. IN the summer of 1949 Look Magazine sent a young photographer named Stanley Kubric to photograph Chicago. In addition to getting some great shots, Kubric also photographed what might be the largest camel toe ever captured on film. (The lingerie model about half way down smoking the cigarette)


    1. In 2011, taking pictures of trains and random children would get you thrown in jail.

      1. Yes it will. Sad isn’t it?

    2. I don’t think that is cameltoe. YOu can’t see the labia at all.

      1. What is it then? That is a bigger package than Weiner has.

        1. That’s not cameltoe at all, no penetration. A big package, yes, hairy bush possibly combined with a feminine hygiene product.

          1. Where the fuck do you work that you would actually follow these links?

            1. A place where I’m turning my notice in this Friday. But that’s probably just me…

            2. I thought we were all self-employed entrepreneurs here?

              1. I thought we were all self-employed entrepreneurs here?

                Or at least telecommuters.

        2. John, with your wife’s permission, we will go on a camel toe hunting expedition.

      1. That was more fun than I expected.

    3. This is old news to people who read look at the pictures on my blog

  6. Suck it, Psych majors.…..rt/127612/

    “And the differences are striking: For workers whose highest degree is a bachelor’s, median incomes ranged from $29,000 for counseling-psychology majors to $120,000 for petroleum-engineering majors. The data also revealed earnings differences within groups of similar majors. Within the category of business majors, for instance, business-economics majors had the highest median pay, $75,000.”

    1. For the first time, researchers analyze earnings based on 171 college majors

      I havent read a word of the article yet, but I can call BS on the subtitle, right?

      1. Over their careers, full-time, full-year workers whose highest degree is a bachelor’s make 74 percent more, on average, than those whose highest attainment is a high-school diploma, the authors found.

        I see a big problem with this, what I would like to see is bachelors v post-HS vocation training (plumbers, boiler operations, dental hygienists, etc). I wonder how much that closes the gap.

        Plumbers v Psychology majors could be loltastic.

        1. Plus the shit you deal with in plumbing washes off at the end of the day.

      2. There are a lot of _______ Studies.

        1. Sample size was too small to be statistically valid.

          ^^^my major.

          1. My major is the whitest of all the engineering majors. Huh.

    2. Speaking of which, anybody want to hire an environmental engineer?

      1. I would think if you were willing to move to the Mississippi river valley, the jobs would be rolling in.

      2. My company has offices on the east coast, if you’re interested.

  7. The Republican National Committee chairman said he dials for dollars about five hours a day, calling different donors to the party in scheduled 15-minute blocks.

    Cold-calling all day long, trying to hawk a product no one really wants. That’s got to suck.

    1. +1. I heard several of the whining on the Sunday News shows about how Palin is doing her bus tour and not even picking up the phone and telling local Republican poobahs she is coming. Gee I wonder why.

      1. Will she run as an independent?

        1. I don’t think so. But I don’t think she gives a rat’s ass what the losers at the top of the GOP think of her.

          1. Cuz she’s a Maverick!

        2. Sure, why not, She quits independently. . .

          1. If only she would cravenly hold onto power like every other politician. I have got a list of people I wish were so independent. I mean after all public office is God’s work. It is sinful to ever leave it, right?

            1. Just remember that meme when she announces for Prez John.

              1. I am trying to figure out what your meme is going to be. You seem to be backing off on the “she is stupid meme” and instead going with the “she is craven and evil” meme.

                1. I’m just saying you have been defending her for quiting because you are glad to see someone not seek power. When she announces for Prez what is it going to be?

                  BTW, as I’ve said before, stupid, craven and evil are hardly mutually exclusive.

                  1. MNG, do you really think the woman is evil? I mean Jesus Christ if you do that says more about you than it does about her. And every day that she manages to rewrite the book on how you become a national political figure puts lie to her being anything wickedly smart.

                    You don’t agree with her. That is your right. But the idea that she is somehow evil and stupid is just ridiculous.

                    Further, if she is “evil and stupid” what is someone like Barney Frank? Last I looked Palin hasn’t gotten her husband a job helping to bankrupt the country and making millions while doing it.

                    1. Meh John, you said evil. I don’t think Palin is evil. Very few people are.

                      I’ve even said before here that I liked her earlier record of standing up to the Alaska GOP establishment and reaching across the aisle to get things done up there.

                      I do think she is not very bright. And I think that ever since her undeserved* fame she has cravenly pandered to keep that going in a sickening fashion.

                      * I say this because the way she got this was that the conservative base was furious with Obama and hated McCain for not attacking him the way they wanted so when Palin attacked they damn near wet their pants in sheer orgasmic joy, projecting all their bizarrities onto her.

                    2. “every day that she manages to rewrite the book on how you become a national political figure puts lie to her being anything wickedly smart.”

                      I’ve always hated this argument. She appeals to a significant group of people, that hardly makes her intelligent or accomplished as the same can be said aboout Britney Spears.

                    3. MNG,

                      Palin has absorbed more abuse than any politician in memory. Calling her stupid is the number one way for dumb Americans to feel smart. Yet she still is a huge force. Lesser politicians would have long since been destroyed. I don’t see how someone who is stupid could do that.

                      That doesn’t mean she is a genius. But it does mean she is a very smart politician for whatever that is worth.

                    4. I dunno about that John. Clinton, Bush and Obama all get and got hefty abuse from significant portions of the population. Remember Dan Quayle? He got a lot of similar abuse, and yet he was a political force for quite a while.

                      In a polarized environment getting abuse from a big chunk of the electorate can make you a darling of another chunk. That doesn’t necessarily say anything about one’s acumen.

                    5. Dan Quayle is a good example of what I am talking about. He was the Palin of his day only he won the election and got to be VP. But he was done as a political force. The contrast between Palin and Quayle couldn’t be more striking. Palin clearly has something on the ball that Quayle didn’t.

                    6. Quayle was a force for years after, especially to the same people that Palin is a force too. His books were bestsellers and he was helping set the debate on ‘family values’, owning the Murphy Brown thing. His star faded when, facing a medical condition, he did not run for offices in 96. When he came back around in 2000 it was too late.

                    7. Palin clearly has something on the ball that Quayle didn’t.

                      yeah: breasts.

                    8. I like to watch, Eve.

                    9. I saw a fantastic comment from Britney Spears back before her famous meltdown. She was talking with Barbara Walters or some other news magazine feature reporter about people calling her dumb.

                      She said, yeah, her brother gives her a hard time about not knowing who the secretary of state is and stuff like that. She said she told him to lay off, she was too busy making a hundred million dollars while the everyone else was worrying about politics and stuff like that…

                      And just like that I learned something and gained a new respect for someone that I never had any interest in and truthfully never had any respect for.

                    10. You know who is evil and stupid? That ratfucker Barack Obama.

            2. I don’t think that serving out the term you were elected to really can accurately be described as “cravenly holding on to power”.

              1. Agreed, but the real trick is how John’s going to square the meme with her announcing for Prez. Is that not cravenly seeking power?

                1. Not necessarily. No one would say Ron Paul was cravenly seeking power with his running for president.

                  1. No one would say Ron Paul was cravenly seeking power with his running for president.

                    Ron Paul is cravenly seeking power with his run for president.

                    1. No one other than obligate contrarians, I mean.

                2. OK I’LL ADMIT IT!

                  I ran for office because I love power.

    2. Coffee’s for closers, Newcular.

  8. Based on the Brooks vent and the next column I clicked on, that Daniel Knowles character might be worth reading. Of course, chances are I’ll click into a 3rd column and not be impressed.

  9. Yet another global financial leader has been busted for sexually assaulting a NY maid.

    And suddenly that state-mandated Life Alert bracelet for the help doesn’t seem so silly, now does it?

    1. Funny how this is being billed as “another high-powered businessman” being involved in a sexual assault.

      Someone PLEASE tell the media idiots that DSK is a Socialist and a lifetime government bureaucrat, not a “high-powered businessman!”

      1. ^THIS^
        The hypocrisy of a leader of the Parti Socialiste staying in a $3000.00 per night hotel room can’t be stressed enough.

  10. Vintage Star Wars travel photos.


  11. Ah, the sweet, sweet smell of David Brooks pwnage in the morning.

  12. Thought of the day, from Spinoza.

    But if, in despotic statecraft, the supreme and essential mystery be to hoodwink the subjects, and to mask the fear, which keeps them down, with the specious garb of religion, so that men may fight as bravely for slavery as for safety, and count it not shame but highest honor to risk their blood and their lives for the vainglory of a tyrant; yet in a free state no more mischievous expedient could be planned or attempted. Wholly repugnant to the general freedom are such devices as enthralling men’s minds with prejudices, forcing their judgment, or employing any of the weapons of quasi-religious sedition; indeed, such seditions only spring up, when law enters the domain of speculative thought, and opinions are put on trial and condemned on the same footing as crimes, while those who defend and follow them are sacrificed, not to public safety, but to their opponents’ hatred and cruelty. If deeds only could be made the grounds of criminal charges, and words were always allowed to pass free, such seditions would be divested of every semblance of justification, and would be separated from mere controversies by a hard and fast line.

    1. Along those lines

      Ortega y Gasset, the great Spanish philosopher of the 1930s, described what he called the “modern barbarian.” “The modern barbarian,” he wrote in The Revolt of the Masses, “is a person who looks at the highly complex modern society and takes it to be a natural object.” People think that apples and oranges appear in the neighborhood grocery the same way they grow on trees. They do not perceive the highly complex social network that makes these things possible. Nor do they appreciate its fragility. “Whenever there is a shortage of bread,” wrote Ortega y Gasset, “the first thing people do is burn down the bakeries.”

    2. And along the same lines, from a much earlier era:

      …this nation has been held in bondage all along ever since by the
      policies and force of the officers of trust in the commonwealth, amongst
      whom we always esteemed kings the chiefest. And what in much of the
      former time was done by war and by impoverishing of the people to make
      them slaves and to hold them in bondage, our latter princes have
      endeavoured to effect by giving ease and wealth unto the people; but
      withal corrupting their understanding by infusing false principles
      concerning kings and governments and parliaments and freedoms…
      — Richard Overton, “A Remonstrance of Many Thousand Citizens” (1646)

  13. Is is just me, or does the International Court of Justice only serve to alleviate the guilt of Western politicians who failed miserably during the third Balkan war. Does the extradition of Mladic really represent justice to the Muslim people of Bosnia?

    1. Not just you – it does seem kind of Kangaroo-ish.

      But what else are they going to do?

      1. It’s moved on from simply being a pennance exercise by bumbling politicians. They turned that frown upside down, and are now using it as a reason to move the goal posts for entry into the EU. “Yeah, that’s nice, but you still haven’t caught this guy. Bag him, and we’ll talk”.

        The Serbs probably won’t catch on to that trick before the EU implodes (lucky for them), of the demands for extradition gets to the point they’re demanding people who took nail clippers on plane rides back in 1967.

        1. But we are letting Susan Power gets us into a war in Libya because she feels bad about what happened in the Balkans. And that is something isn’t it?

          1. I think it better to say she doesn’t want to see the Balkans or Rawanda happen again. What’s wrong with that exactly?

            1. That is good that she doesn’t want to see such things happen again. But I think there is this thing called the Constitution that says Congress gets a vote on that. Sorry, but the US Military is not the personal service of Susan Power to sooth her conscience.

              1. She’s an advisor. She advised. It’s on Obama for giving the order and Congress for not stopping him.

            2. Because neither are or were essential to the security of the United States?

              1. But that kind of begs the question, someone like Powers doesn’t accept the premise that our military power should only be used in the service of what is essential to the security of the United States. If that were her only recognized role for military action then you would have her.

            3. In a way, the killings at Srebrenica also were affected by the memories of World War II. The United Nations’ Dutch battalion promised to protect the Muslims there, even though it was in no position to do so. It was a promise that partly reflected the feeling of guilt that still haunts the Dutch for looking the other way as the Germans rounded up and deported two-thirds of their country’s Jewish population to death camps. This time, it would be different. This time, they would act. Alas, outnumbered and outgunned by Mladi?’s forces, the Dutch surrendered Srebrenica to its fate.

              The Crimes of Ratko Mladi?.

            4. Of course Power was perfectly content to let Saddam destroy the Kurds and the Marsh Arabs. I guess their deaths don’t count. Power is awful. Maybe even worse than her husband. God, they are the power couple from hell.

              1. “Of course Power was perfectly content to let Saddam destroy the Kurds and the Marsh Arabs.”

                Was she? I’m not being argumentative here, I just have not seen anything on her position on the Kurds and such.

                1. “I’m not being argumentative here”

                  YOU LIE!

            5. I think it better to say she doesn’t want to see the Balkans or Rawanda happen again.

              Funny that I haven’t heard her pushing to intervene in Syria, then. I think the body count there is well into four figures now, higher than it was when we started killing Libyans.

              1. They have a very subtle and ingenious criterion for what humanitarian conflicts justify kinetic action. Just because our little civilian brains can’t understand it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

  14. HAve we won in Libya yet?

    1. We’ve always been at war with Libya.

      1. You’re actually right.
        A Bloom County strip from 1986.

    1. Finally, one I can appreciate. Spun it just last week.

    1. Steel Reserve was always my favorite. Speaking of drunkards, Andre the Giant wins.

      The time arrived, and the anesthesiologist was frantic. He had never put a person of Andre’s size under the gas before and had no idea how much to use. Various experts were brought in but no solution presented itself until one of the doctors asked Andre if he was a drinker. Andre responded that, yes, he’d been known to tip a glass from time to time. The doctor then wanted to know how much Andre drank and how much it took to get him drunk.

      “Well,” rumbled the Giant, “It usually takes two liters of vodka just to make me feel warm inside.”

      1. Holy Chreee–iest!

        I am in awe.

    2. Holy crap – Garret Epps is Tony!

    3. Well done and please keep at it.

    4. Wow, 4 comments on Epp’s article, all pointing out Epp’s astounding ignorance and the article has now been pulled from the server.

  15. DHS has ended its anti-terrorism, anti-civil liberties “Muslim registration” program, citing ineffectiveness.

    This country is fucking insane. Bat-shit fucking insane.

    1. Your papers are not in order…

    2. Wait; we had to register our Muslims?

      1. I can get you a good deal on unregistered muslims.

    3. There’s your problem. They shouldn’t have named it that. It sounds bad. No one finds things like the Patriot Act or the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act controversial because they sound positive.

      1. Who wants to vote for the “Asshole Act” ?

        1. MNG would (if John were against it)

    4. I am currently and athiest. So, if I convert to Islam, does this mean I would have had to register? Did they have the registration forms at the front of mosque? Or did they have them conveniently on the wall facing Mecca?

      We have gone way way WAY past full retard.

      1. You’re a Theist?

  16. I saw something over the weekend which said Mladic is so sick he probably won’t make it through the trial.

    Come for the media circus, stay for the free unlimited health care.

  17. “the first thing people do is burn down the bakeries.”


  18. The USPS has stayed afloat by borrowing $12 billion from the U.S. Treasury. This year it will reach its statutory debt limit. After that, insolvency looms.

    Does anyone know what they would have to charge for a first class stamp in order get into the black?

    Or, they could develop stamps that, when you turn them upside down, the clothes of the person featured on the stamp come off.

    Or, better, they could just force everyone’s email to be routed through USPS servers for a fee.

    Hooters waitress-type mail carriers, but the attractive ones, not the ones they have on the lunch schedule.

    I’m full of ideas.

    1. The Internet is a success thanks to porn. The USPS needs to expand its porn offerings. It’s that simple.

      1. I almost spit coffee when I read the line that their biz dev guy has in mind that somehow he can ‘control’ internet use, even though it’s obvious he wasn’t exhibiting Draconian tendencies – just galactic stupidity.

      2. The other day, in some bodega place, I noticed they were selling nudie magazines. I didn’t even know they still printed those things. Who buys them? I can get porn on my frickin phone.

        Grandpaw! Y U not have internet?

        1. The USPS could get directly into the porn business by, say, printing porn on their envelopes. For free.

          And, to take Fist of Etiquette’s recommendations one step further, they could employ attractive delivery persons who perform other, um, tasks for a fee. Sure, speed of delivery would suffer, but who uses the USPS for speed, anyway?

          1. “Post Office Pimps, Mail Room Madams”

            1. That’s right. Once postmen and women get too old to deliver ass, they move into administrative positions at the local post office.

          2. The thought of USPS produced pr0n makes The Giagantosaur shrivel up and try to hide.

            Why would the post office hire their starz any differently than their carriers? You’d have porn consisting of all the various derelicts who have no chance at all of working in a regular job.

            Sure there would be a niche out there for that, but not enough to make money. Unless of course, they passed a law that only the USPS could deliver first class porn. Fed Sex and the other private porn companies could compete in the lesser niches like Brazilian Fart Porn, but that would be it.

          3. Porn Stamps.

            1. With psychoactive glue.

              1. Now, that’s interesting.

        2. Grandpaw! Y U not have internet?

          It’s the old catch-22: he can either afford erection pills or the internet, but not both.

    2. The delivery of junk mail is the epitome of a give-away subsidy, and all the fucksticks that have lamented that their pause at ass raping the public through the oil companies because they ‘gave them a break’ on the ridiculous on-paper business killing extortionist tax rates is a ‘subsidy’. “We chose not to rob you today, so we are ‘supporting’ you” makes as much fucking sense.

      Why in the FUCK are they pinning their hopes on an activity that really, really annoys most people for success?

      These morons must be sniffing leftover mace unused on dogs to unwind at the end of the day walking the hoods.

    3. “Hooters waitress-type mail carriers, but the attractive ones”

      I don’t say this much here, but you are a genius.

    4. Legalize drugs and give the USPS a delivery monopoly. Problem solved.

      Prostitution and ferrets probably wouldn’t hurt, either.

    5. Does anyone know what they would have to charge for a first class stamp in order get into the black?

      There isn’t any price they can charge to get into the black. If they raise prices, mail volume drops off, and they will likely have even less revenue to fund an overpaid bloated workforce and too many post offices.

      Despite having a government-enforced monopoly, they are going bankrupt.

  19. Ok, so 24 million in the hole, with a resurgence in their stature from the Congressionals, prepping for a presidential year.

    Where are all the stalwart defenders of the integrity and ability of the Team Red “see, we can do affirmative action picks too, so nyah” Chairman these days. . .hmmm.

  20. British people hate David Brooks.

    Who, pray tell, loves him?

    And no, Thomas Friedman doesn’t count.

    1. Maureen Dowd may have had a fleeting attraction, but deemed him not man enough when she found out he sits down to pee.

    2. Liberals actually like David Brooks. Reading him enables them to point out that they don’t live in an echo chamber, they listen to ‘conservative’ views as well.

      1. My progressive brother has used that line on his constituents.

  21. I don’t understand this whole idea about the Postal Service “going broke” that makes about as much sense to me as saying the Army is “going broke” or the police department is “going broke.” None of them were supposed to make money or even pay their way imo, if they were they should not be performed by government.

    1. How much do the cops charge you to report a crime?

      1. They charge me totally via taxes, the USPS charges me most of it via taxes.

    2. so are you saying the post office should be privatized then?

      1. Should police and the army?

        It depends on their missions. If the USPS is supposed to provide a service like the police and the army, no. If they are not then perhaps yes.

        1. Are you suggesting that we arm the Post Office?

        2. I’d say the difference between the police, military, and postal service is that only one of them is actually in direct competition with several companies offering the same general service, but faster and better.

          What would be saved if the USPS were to just give up it’s mail delivery and instead just manage things like zip codes, or, say, got out of the local delivery service and instead only delivered to regional centers where private companies could be contracted to deliver to your address?

          The postal service gets hammered on its budget because a whole lot of people seriously doubt the necessity of its current function at its current cost.

          1. Would there be any functional difference between a city, county, or locality negotiating with a private police company and negotiating with the police union?

        3. I think that the relevant question at this point is whether the USPS is at all necessary to provide the service that it was intended to provide. Police and army, most people will agree, are services that are the sort of thing government should do, and the private sector really can’t or shouldn’t (though of course there is disagreement there as well). I think it is pretty clear that private companies are quite capable of delivering mail and packages. While the postal service is undoubtedly constitutional, it is certainly not nearly as useful or necessary as it was when it was the primary or only means of long distance communication. As it is now, it looks like the USPS delivers junk mail and bills to weirdos like me who don’t like automatic payments and not much else. I think it is pretty hard to argue that it is still an essential government function, even if at one time it was. Shit, even the Europeans have largely privatized their post offices.

          1. Police and army, most people will agree, are services that are the sort of thing government should do, and the private sector really can’t or shouldn’t (though of course there is disagreement there as well).

            Riiiight. Because there can be no such thing as private security services. Security guards must be unionized public employees.

            It’s just a failure of imagination to think that a government monopoly of police and the military is the only conceivable way of providing personal security against domestic or foreign thugs.

        4. Should police and the army [be privatized]?


          It depends on their missions. If the USPS is supposed to provide a service like the police and the army, no. If they are not then perhaps yes.

          They are supposed to provide a service — deliver letters. Except, unlike the army and to a lesser extent the police, there’s no compelling argument whatsoever for not letting competitors compete with them and drive them out of business.

          Or are you arguing that UPS and FedEx aren’t providing a service? Really?

    3. The police and army still provide necessary services. The USPS is basically an advertising medium at this point. First class mail is irrelevant to the functioning of society at this point, and there are private companies better able to handle other delivery services.

      1. Don’t forget the other big USPS function: Distributor of thinly-veiled political campaign materials for incumbent politicians.

    4. None of them were supposed to make money or even pay their way imo

      Why can’t a postal service make money or pay its own way?

      There is really no free rider problem or any of the other standard reasons people give to have the state take something over.

    5. USPS was semi-privatized. Main problem is the “semi”. If it weren’t privatized at all, it would be as or more ineffective, but would only be as broke as the feds (so, plenty); if it were privatized, it would either sink or swim.

      As it stands, like all quasi-private entities, it’s the worst of both worlds. It’s beholden to unions and unrealistic Congressional mandates, but still has to find some way to make ends meet.

  22. Found this article in the comments section of the Brooks takedown.

    The article I link shows that all of Brooks’ divided country bullshit is, well, bullshit. The author interviews Brooks and he claims his famous BoBo article was all a joke. The interview section of the piece paints an unflattering picture of Brooks’ mentality.

    Good read.

  23. Without the Post Office, America will collapse into a seething morass of confusion and isolation.

    1. How will I send e-mails without the Post Office?

      1. Through the Private Internet Research And Technology Emmissary of Somalia. aka PIRATES

    2. I saw that movie. It sucked worse than ‘Waterworld’.

      1. Tom Petty was pretty good though.

        1. Tom Petty is a national resource.

    3. Just this morning I sent my monthly checks to Comcast and Georgia Power. Without the post office, I’d be soon disconnected from the Internet and have no electricity.

      1. Only if UPS and FedEx continue to be prohibited from delivering first class mail. That’s the only real downside to the collapse of the post office, that the people who could take over their business and keep the mail moving are prohibited from doing so.

  24. So it took this Brit a few days and one column to realize what the powers that be at the NYT have managed to miss for a few decades? Or maybe his employers are impressed that his inability to distinguish between the inside of his head and the world outside of it has a Transatlantic dimension? Is that a job skill that’s in high demand? Remind me again, why am I supposed to care what he thinks?

  25. $200k+ per year Southern California firefighter arrested for theft

    Sadly, the theft in question did not involve stealing from taxpayers.

  26. “We didn’t want them to say we had sexually assaulted or raped them, so we wanted to prove that they weren’t virgins in the first place,”

    This only makes sense if no woman leaves their custody a virgin, regardless of how she came in.

    I love how the Egyptian banker/perv had three friends drop by the police station to “check up on him.” I suspect they were somewhat surprised to find that a little baksheesh couldn’t make the whole thing just go away.

  27. In totally unrelated news, I got my first speeding ticket in about 10+ years yesterday and it has refilled me anew with hatred of small-town cops who have nothing better to do than hide behind trees. I’m lucky my kids were in the car with me else I probably would have argued more with Buford T. over his tactics and ultimately ended up in jail.

    They damn sure better name a manhole cover after me in thanks for my kind contribution to the municipal fund.

    1. They opened up a new stretch of toll road in Houston. For about the first month, they had cops hiding out on it running speed traps 24-7. After all, speeding on a brand new stretch of interstate is the greatest threat to safety in Houston, TX.

      1. Are you talking about I-10 west? Yep.

        Mine was in Jones Creek coming up Highway 36 from Freeport. My family had spent the morning at the beach in Galveston and thought it might be nice to drive back to Sugar Land on the back roads instead of fighting traffic on 45. Big mistake. We won’t do that again and the Dairy Queens and gas stations in rural Brazoria County can just shrivel up and die thanks to the hospitality of local law enforcement.

        1. Nope. The new section of Beltway 8. It was insane the first month it was open. The popo was maximizing revenue.

        2. So, does this make us the two H&R commenters from Sugar Land?

  28. The governing body of the “”>
    world’s biggest sport is currently in all kinds of disarray. But it’s not a crisis!

    A week before the election for FIFA president, the challenger was forced to pull out of the race because of allegations of major corruption. Standing accused alongside him was the top man of the confederation that the US is in.

    The challenger? Mohammed bin Hammam, who is also head of the Asian Football Confederation, AND Qatar’s FA (who, some might remember won the right to host the 2022 World Cup in perhaps the least credible such vote in a long history of marginally credible votes).

    The incumbent? Sepp Blatter, current President, who now runs unopposed in a vote scheduled for tomorrow.

    Ol’ Seppy insists there is no crisis, even though two of his top deputies (bin Hammam and Jack Warner, head of the confederation the US is in) have been suspended from all football activities pending investigations and an entire confederation is planning to boycott the vote (AFC) in solidarity with bin Hammam, while influential football associations (England, Scotland, Australia, others) are threatening to join the boycott for completely different reasons in a bid to deny the quorum that will permit the vote to go forward. England and Scotland are standing on principle that the votes for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups were a sham, while Australia is demanding to be refunded the money they spent on their 2022 bid.

    Crisis? What crisis?

    And Sepp refuses to even consider vacating the 2022 World Cup vote, which went to bin Hammam’s Qatar, despite strong evidence that the committee in Qatar flat-out bought votes with cash.

    Confused? Me too.

    This is one of the most weird and fascinating stories I’ve seen in recent memory and it’s far from over.

    1. Damn, I SF’ed the link big time.

      Let’s try again.

      1. Fail!

        One more time,

    2. Yeah. Can’t imagine how ol’ bin Hammam got the idea that FIFA was for sale.

  29. NHL Hockey back to Winnipeg: WINNIPEG – True North Sports and Entertainment has called an 11 a.m. press conference to announce it has purchased the Atlanta Thrashers subject to NHL board of governors’ approval…..nipeg.html

    1. The questions is, will anyone in Atlanta notice the team is gone? That city never deserved a hockey team…or two.

  30. Do you have to have a license to do “virginity checks”?

    A friend asked me to find out.

    1. Not if you have the psychic license.

  31. But that kind of begs the question, someone like Powers doesn’t accept the premise that our military power should only be used in the service of what is essential to the security of the United States. If that were her only recognized role for military action then you would have her.


    Jared Loughner’s defense team should definitely investigate this line of reasoning.

    1. Yeah, I kind WTFed at that one, too. The problem with the “responsibility to protect” crowd is their inconsistency – you can’t take on a morally-driven mission like that, and then apply it selectively.

      “Oh, we have a high moral calling, but only when its convenient” doesn’t scan.

      1. As best I can tell, our high moral calling applies to everyone in the Northern Hemisphere. And probably the Aussies, if they ever needed help. For damn sure don’t be African south of the desert.

  32. One of the implied threats in the USPS article is just allowing the Post Office to implode.
    I say, go ahead.
    Back in 2005, we didn’t have mail service for about 2 weeks because of hurricane damage. Guess what – I managed to take care of everything important, including getting and paying bills, with no late fees.
    Currently I receive just about every bill via email, and pay just about everything on-line. There are a couple places that don’t take payments on-line, but if the USPS couldn’t deliver a bill, I’ll bet the company that wants my money will figure out some way to get it from me. And I hand deliver any greeting cards to the recipient – seems more personal that way. If I absolutely need to get something to someone’s address, I can use FEDEX or UPS.
    Catalogs, advertisements, solicitations? We really need a massive infrastructure just to send all that junk to everyone?
    Go ahead USPS – make my day.

    1. It would be a hassle making phone calls to pay the handful of bills that my credit union won’t let me pay via automatic debits from my account. It would be a lot easier to let UPS and FedEx take over that from the USPS.

      But if the joy of watching a government monopoly flame out and vanish means putting up with that hassle until Congress caves and allows competitors to replace the USPS, it will be totally worth it.

  33. They opened up a new stretch of toll road in Houston. For about the first month, they had cops hiding out on it running speed traps 24-7.

    Flashback time: just as I was leaving Colorado Springs for good, they opened a new road from the airport to town. It was about eight lanes wide, and smooth and flat as a billiard table. Naturally, the speed limit was about 35MPH and there was a cop with a radar gun every two hundred yards. Somebody actually successfully sued to force the city to raise the speed limit.

    1. Twice over the weekend I had to make the three hour round trip from Pittsfield to Greenfield here in MA. It’s a drive that I (mostly) love: Rte 9 through the Berkshire hilltowns to Rte 112 through the farms, hills, and forests of rural Franklin County to Rte 2, the Mohawk Trail, mother of all scenic highways; the whole drive is beautiful, and in light traffic it’s my favorite kind of driving, non-stop curves and hills galore.

      If I could afford to get speeding tickets and thus choose my own speed, it would be perfect, but I can’t; I haven’t had a license in fifteen years. Unknown to me at the time, right before I left my first husband he financed a car in my name, and once I was gone he never paid the excise tax, leaving me unable to renew my license; I’ll drive without one til eternity before I pay that bill out of my pocket. So I keep at a steady 5-10 mph above the posted limit, and there’s the problem: those roads, Rte 9 especially, have speed limits that arbitrarily change, usually in 5 mph increments, every few miles. There is absolutely no reason for the fluctuations from 55 to 50 to 55 to 45 to 50 (and so on), it just makes it easier to catch people speeding. And not only does driving with one eye looking for speed limit signs and the other on the speedometer make driving more dangerous, it makes it a hell of a lot less fun. You don’t need a license if you don’t get pulled over, and I don’t, but the price of that is an absolutely anal fixation with speed limits.

      1. You monster!

      2. I haven’t had a license in fifteen years

        How are you able to register your vehicle and/or buy insurance if you’re not licensed?

        1. Both vehicles are in my husband’s name and on his policy. I’ve been driving his vehicles for almost 10 years with no problems, so he’s willing to take his chances.

  34. If ineffectivenss is a reason for DHS to stop doing something, they should close up the shop.

  35. It takes a lot to really get my hackles up these days, but this did it:

    A soft-spoken man known to his friends as Johnny, Mr. Azam manages a H?agen Dazs store at the South Street Seaport and wants to open a Subway sandwich franchise. He graduated from Monroe College in the Bronx in 2009.

    His father, Mohammed Hossain, applied for permanent resident status in 2001, when Mr. Azam was 16, through a program that allowed immigrants to pay a $1,000 fine and clear their records of visa-related violations. Because of an extensive backlog, Mr. Hossain was not approved until 2007, when his son was 22 ? an adult in the eyes of immigration officials.

    Mr. Hossain was able to sponsor his wife and daughter for permanent resident status, but Mr. Azam was denied because, immigration authorities contended, he was now too old to benefit from his father’s new status.

    Malice or incompetence: is there even a difference?

    1. I prefer malice. I can deal with someone hating me.

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  37. Although it is not brand name,wholesale lingerie can be very sexy. Most companies offer a variety of lingerie including bridal lingerie, chemise, thongs, bras, garters, corsets, panties, and others. Wholesale lingerie companies generally provide products for resale businesses. Some companies will not sell to you unless you give them proof that you have a business.

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