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Friday Funnies

Arnold's next movie.

Henry Payne | 5.27.2011 7:00 AM

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NEXT: They've Got a Little List

Henry Payne
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

    He should prevent himself from doing Raw Deal while he's back there.

    1. yet aother dave   14 years ago

      Are you kidding, next Hercules Raw Deal was the Ahrnolds best movie I laughed my ass off through the whole thing

      1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

        You're thinking of Commando. Raw Deal was terrible.

        1. Bucky   14 years ago

          does he really want to live forever?

          1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

            Alphaville asked that same question.

  2. PantsFan   14 years ago

    is this still a reference?

  3. db   14 years ago

    Not sure the subtitle is required. A knowledgeable reader should be able to get this one without it. May he should be standing over his past self, handing him a condom, saying "Come with this if you want to live."

    1. D-one   14 years ago

      HA, I do love that the comments are always much better than these attempts at humour

    2. Doc S.   14 years ago

      I was thinking the same thing. If you have to explain the joke its not funny- the picture alone would have worked.

      1. Bill   14 years ago

        Not the way that package of "condoms" is drawn.

        A better cartoonist could have pulled it off. However, the idea is actually funny. Which distinguishes it from most other Fridays.

    3. Scruffy Nerf Herder   14 years ago

      Perfect

  4. Aladdin Sane   14 years ago

    But don't you think he will be happier not being married to Skeletor anymore.

    1. AlmightyJB   14 years ago

      You beat me to that comment. Eat something woman!

  5. John   14 years ago

    Why has the word "Bastard" been banned from polite use when used to describe a child born out of wedlock as opposed to invective? I see nothing wrong with the word. Better bastard than the stupid euphemism "love child".

    And I can forgive the odd bastard. But I cannot forgive Arnold's taste in women. Have you seen the mother? Why Arnbold Why? Is self abuse that bad?

    1. Fatty Bolger   14 years ago

      I assume she looked better 14 years ago.

      1. -   14 years ago

        After a quart of whiskey.

    2. WTF   14 years ago

      A pretty plausible explanation. for Arnold's 'motivation'.

      1. John   14 years ago

        Wow. I don't think the extra bulk would quite be worth that

        1. WTF   14 years ago

          Just one more reason to avoid steroids.

          1. -   14 years ago

            Most of my friends have ugly wives, and they've never "done" steroids. I go to Walmart and what do I see? Ugly people with kids. Let's face it: the world is full of unbeautiful humans who keep reproducing. The end.

            1. db   14 years ago

              I go to Wal-Mart and see a tractor pull waiting to happen.

              1. Minge   14 years ago

                TRAKTOR PULLZ!!!111!!

            2. John   14 years ago

              Yeah but not many world famous millionaire actors have ugly wives. Fame and money alone should have gotten Arnold better.

              1. Harvard   14 years ago

                It's been reported that this will cost Arnie about $200 million. Ugly AND expensive! A hard dick knows no reason.

                1. Blaise Pascal Working Blue   14 years ago

                  A hard dick knows no reason.

                  The dick has reasons that reason cannot know.

            3. Location, location, location   14 years ago

              You live in the wrong neighborhood. You should visit my Walmart. Yes there are ugly people there, but they are outnumbered by the non-ugly.

    3. Name Nomad   14 years ago

      It's the euphemism treadmill. We don't say "retarded" or "crippled" anymore; those words became insults, so we made up new terms like "special" to describe those, which became insults in themselves, so we made up new terms...

      1. John   14 years ago

        Yes. "Idiot" and "Moron" were once scientific terms.

        1. Yup   14 years ago

          Tonight, on the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric: Arnold's bastard child. Was he retarded to do it? Or just an idiot?

        2. Doktor Kapitalism   14 years ago

          If I remember, moron refers to an adult with the mental capacity of an eight to twelve year-old, capable of doing manual labor with supervision.

          Now it means, "I don't like you."

    4. MNG   14 years ago

      When someone cuts you off do you yell "you love child?!?"

      Bastard has a negative connotation and society has rightly decided such connotation should not rest on the kid's shoulders for his parents less than restrained actions.

      Additionally, can we call Bristol Palin's kid a bastard?

      1. WTF   14 years ago

        Lighten up, Francis.

      2. John   14 years ago

        Additionally, can we call Bristol Palin's kid a bastard?

        Sure. That is what he is.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   14 years ago

          You cold hearted bastard.

      3. John   14 years ago

        And bastard is no more negative than "love child".

        1. WTF   14 years ago

          Bastard is more accurate, though. "Love child" assumes love was involved, when it was likely just a pump and dump.

          1. Mango Punch   14 years ago

            I prefer to just call them all "mistake"

        2. MNG   14 years ago

          Really?

          So when you are angry at someone you yell "you love child" at them?

          Odd.

          1. John   14 years ago

            I said above when it is used as a descriptive term not as invective. If you call Bristol Palin's kid her "love child", you are being just as pejorative as calling him a "bastard". Everyone knows what each term means. It is as they say what it is.

            1. MNG   14 years ago

              The fact that one of the words fits nicely as an invective and the other is bizarre as such disproves your claim imo.

              1. MNG   14 years ago

                I'd rather us not call the kid anything, let's call the parents names.

                1. WTF   14 years ago

                  Let's go back to adding 'Fitz' to the child's surname to connote bastardy.

                2. Doc S.   14 years ago

                  absolutely, it's not the kids fault that it was born to a piece of shit.

              2. John   14 years ago

                I just believe in plain language. The kid is a bastard. Why talk around the subject?

          2. Expat to Be   14 years ago

            I try to always shout, "fu$#%@#@ MNG!" in that situation.

            1. WTF   14 years ago

              I always like to shout "fu$#%@#@ MNG!" in just about any situation. Especially at Traktor Pullz.

      4. mr simple   14 years ago

        Maybe you should be lobbying for people to stop using bastard in the pejorative rather than the correct usage. For the record I prefer to call people cunts or retarded, inbred monkey fetuses when they drive in a manner I disagree with.

  6. Wind Rider   14 years ago

    How long has Payne been doing the Friday Funnies? Why do they keep hawking it as "NEW, at Reason!"

    Just curious. This one actually got an initial grin.

    1. -   14 years ago

      How long? Why new?

      Technically, the actual drawing part is new. The ideas? Not so.

    2. Nomic   14 years ago

      I think the "NEW" refers to this week's cartoon, not to the column.

  7. Mister DNA   14 years ago

    LOL! It's funny because it's true!

  8. Adamson   14 years ago

    Why is the condom package rectangular? Arnie's not THAT big, from what I hear.

    1. LarryA   14 years ago

      He knows Arnold. It's a box of 24.

      1. Adamson   14 years ago

        No it's not - it says "Condom", not "Condoms".

  9. Almanian   14 years ago

    1) Needs MOAR LABELS

    2)Why is Tony Siragusa running with a condom and a gun? To kill Tom Brady and screw his girlfriend?

    3) If I were sage, I would say:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  10. Jay S   14 years ago

    It's times like this where I have to point out that political cartoonists are some of the laziest people in the world.

    "I can't draw the president well, so I'll just draw a brown person with big ears and slap an 'Obama' name tag on him."

    "I cant draw a condom package, or even a square, so I'll just draw a rectangle and slap the word 'condom' on it."

    1. Bill   14 years ago

      It's a market-based decision. This is the only cartoon that the 143 Libertarians in the US deserve.

  11. Tim   14 years ago

    his wife is a kennedy shound'nt she use to it?

  12. Dave   14 years ago

    This would have been funny if it was posted before John Stewart made this reference last week.

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