Friday Funnies

Arnold's next movie.


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  1. He should prevent himself from doing Raw Deal while he’s back there.

    1. Are you kidding, next Hercules Raw Deal was the Ahrnolds best movie I laughed my ass off through the whole thing

      1. You’re thinking of Commando. Raw Deal was terrible.

        1. does he really want to live forever?

          1. Alphaville asked that same question.

  2. is this still a reference?

  3. Not sure the subtitle is required. A knowledgeable reader should be able to get this one without it. May he should be standing over his past self, handing him a condom, saying “Come with this if you want to live.”

    1. HA, I do love that the comments are always much better than these attempts at humour

    2. I was thinking the same thing. If you have to explain the joke its not funny- the picture alone would have worked.

      1. Not the way that package of “condoms” is drawn.

        A better cartoonist could have pulled it off. However, the idea is actually funny. Which distinguishes it from most other Fridays.

    3. Perfect

  4. But don’t you think he will be happier not being married to Skeletor anymore.

    1. You beat me to that comment. Eat something woman!

  5. Why has the word “Bastard” been banned from polite use when used to describe a child born out of wedlock as opposed to invective? I see nothing wrong with the word. Better bastard than the stupid euphemism “love child”.

    And I can forgive the odd bastard. But I cannot forgive Arnold’s taste in women. Have you seen the mother? Why Arnbold Why? Is self abuse that bad?

    1. I assume she looked better 14 years ago.

      1. After a quart of whiskey.

    2. A pretty plausible explanation. for Arnold’s ‘motivation’.

      1. Wow. I don’t think the extra bulk would quite be worth that

        1. Just one more reason to avoid steroids.

          1. Most of my friends have ugly wives, and they’ve never “done” steroids. I go to Walmart and what do I see? Ugly people with kids. Let’s face it: the world is full of unbeautiful humans who keep reproducing. The end.

            1. I go to Wal-Mart and see a tractor pull waiting to happen.

              1. TRAKTOR PULLZ!!!111!!

            2. Yeah but not many world famous millionaire actors have ugly wives. Fame and money alone should have gotten Arnold better.

              1. It’s been reported that this will cost Arnie about $200 million. Ugly AND expensive! A hard dick knows no reason.

                1. A hard dick knows no reason.

                  The dick has reasons that reason cannot know.

            3. You live in the wrong neighborhood. You should visit my Walmart. Yes there are ugly people there, but they are outnumbered by the non-ugly.

    3. It’s the euphemism treadmill. We don’t say “retarded” or “crippled” anymore; those words became insults, so we made up new terms like “special” to describe those, which became insults in themselves, so we made up new terms…

      1. Yes. “Idiot” and “Moron” were once scientific terms.

        1. Tonight, on the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric: Arnold’s bastard child. Was he retarded to do it? Or just an idiot?

        2. If I remember, moron refers to an adult with the mental capacity of an eight to twelve year-old, capable of doing manual labor with supervision.

          Now it means, “I don’t like you.”

    4. When someone cuts you off do you yell “you love child?!?”

      Bastard has a negative connotation and society has rightly decided such connotation should not rest on the kid’s shoulders for his parents less than restrained actions.

      Additionally, can we call Bristol Palin’s kid a bastard?

      1. Lighten up, Francis.

      2. Additionally, can we call Bristol Palin’s kid a bastard?

        Sure. That is what he is.

        1. You cold hearted bastard.

      3. And bastard is no more negative than “love child”.

        1. Bastard is more accurate, though. “Love child” assumes love was involved, when it was likely just a pump and dump.

          1. I prefer to just call them all “mistake”

        2. Really?

          So when you are angry at someone you yell “you love child” at them?


          1. I said above when it is used as a descriptive term not as invective. If you call Bristol Palin’s kid her “love child”, you are being just as pejorative as calling him a “bastard”. Everyone knows what each term means. It is as they say what it is.

            1. The fact that one of the words fits nicely as an invective and the other is bizarre as such disproves your claim imo.

              1. I’d rather us not call the kid anything, let’s call the parents names.

                1. Let’s go back to adding ‘Fitz’ to the child’s surname to connote bastardy.

                2. absolutely, it’s not the kids fault that it was born to a piece of shit.

              2. I just believe in plain language. The kid is a bastard. Why talk around the subject?

          2. I try to always shout, “fu$#%@#@ MNG!” in that situation.

            1. I always like to shout “fu$#%@#@ MNG!” in just about any situation. Especially at Traktor Pullz.

      4. Maybe you should be lobbying for people to stop using bastard in the pejorative rather than the correct usage. For the record I prefer to call people cunts or retarded, inbred monkey fetuses when they drive in a manner I disagree with.

  6. How long has Payne been doing the Friday Funnies? Why do they keep hawking it as “NEW, at Reason!”

    Just curious. This one actually got an initial grin.

    1. How long? Why new?

      Technically, the actual drawing part is new. The ideas? Not so.

    2. I think the “NEW” refers to this week’s cartoon, not to the column.

  7. LOL! It’s funny because it’s true!

  8. Why is the condom package rectangular? Arnie’s not THAT big, from what I hear.

    1. He knows Arnold. It’s a box of 24.

      1. No it’s not – it says “Condom”, not “Condoms”.

  9. 1) Needs MOAR LABELS

    2)Why is Tony Siragusa running with a condom and a gun? To kill Tom Brady and screw his girlfriend?

    3) If I were sage, I would say:


  10. It’s times like this where I have to point out that political cartoonists are some of the laziest people in the world.

    “I can’t draw the president well, so I’ll just draw a brown person with big ears and slap an ‘Obama’ name tag on him.”

    “I cant draw a condom package, or even a square, so I’ll just draw a rectangle and slap the word ‘condom’ on it.”

    1. It’s a market-based decision. This is the only cartoon that the 143 Libertarians in the US deserve.

  11. his wife is a kennedy shound’nt she use to it?

  12. This would have been funny if it was posted before John Stewart made this reference last week.


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