Middle East

"Osama bin Laden was already made an old fool by the Arab Spring"


Excellent meditation on OBL's irrelevance at the time of death by Dana Vachon in The Daily Beast:

Osama bin Laden was already made an old fool by the Arab Spring. It was a million young bodies, their unsated creature needs, a generation of Arabs who were only 9 or 11 when 9/11 happened, that pushed the Middle East into modernity, in the end. It was taxi drivers and street vendors and people with no jobs. And they revealed bin Laden for what he always was, a trust fund brat peddling delusions of past grandeur as a cure for the present's pains.

There is real elegance to his passing now, as spring turns to summer, and to the Revolutionary generation's greeting of his death with indifferent shrugging rather than wailing lament. I suppose he may yet become a martyr; Che Guevara was martyred once too, but only as prelude to a second career as unsalaried silkscreen superstar, the face of the revolutionary dream turned logo for shirts and thongs, Chinese slave labor their only connection to Marx or Lenin.

Whole thing here.

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  1. “It was a million young bodies, their unsated creature needs, a generation of Arabs who were only 9 or 11 when 9/11 happened, that pushed the Middle East into modernity, in the end.”

    What modernity?

  2. Was evil Burt in every Bin Ladin poster made in the 00s or does Reason photoshop him into every one?

    1. More importantly, when is SEAL Team-6 going to visit Sesame Street?

      1. I hate you
        you hate me
        let’s go on a killing spree
        take a twelve gauge shotgun
        point it at his head
        pull the trigger
        Barney’s dead

        1. the purple ones are always gay

      2. They’re too afraid to make the raid because they can’t see Mr. Snuffleupagus coming because only Big Bird can see him.

        And as we all know, he’s deadly.

        1. I heard we had to blow up a crashed Snuffleupagus to keep his tech from falling into enemy hands.

          1. They had to. They wanted to study it, but it’s just too dangerous. I hear it’s based on Jain technology.

            Now, Super Grover’s tech: they’re actively searching for that.

            1. I heard the formula was destroyed in a lab fire after Grover.

              1. Mr. Hooper started that fire, dude. That’s why he had to die. Don’t believe the lies about him dying naturally. There’s nothing natural about a cobra suddenly showing up in your room while you sleep.

    2. I’m calling bullshit on this. You never saw Bert, that was just a conservative meme.

      1. Yeah, Bert was going around at the time.

        1. And you’re claiming you saw it too? I always knew you were about 17.

      2. LOL. Dude. He is right there. Look at the picture. But, yeah I am sure MNG would deny it. Of course you should believe him over your lying eyes.

        1. I’m calling bullshit on you seeing it, not that it’s there. Don’t you twist my words, you Republican stooge.

      3. I think Snopes did something on the topic, though I can’t remember the verdict.

        Thanks for the pointer to Strong Lifta, by the way.

        1. Check out the book Starting Strength and its companion website, as well.

          1. *Lifts. See, this is what autocorrect should be fixing.

            I’ll check those out.

        2. http://www.snopes.com/rumors/bert.asp

          Here’s what Snopes has to say. Images from Bert is Evil got picked up by people creating posters for protesters. They didn’t even notice it there.

      4. I read all about Burt in my foreign policy classes in college!

      5. This was old the first time you did it.

    3. My recollection is that a real pro-al Qaeda protestor used the image (from the Internet, of course) on a protest sign that had a collage of bin Laden images.

      The 9/11 Attacks?. Brought to you by the Children’s Television Workshop, a cooperative grant from the U.S. Dept. of Education, and viewers like you.

  3. From Yahoo news.
    Disputes over money between the terror leader and his No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, led al-Qaida to split into two factions five or six years ago, with the larger faction controlled by al-Zawahri, they said.

    All I can say is “Splitter!”

  4. Now he is s a dead old fool.


  5. a trust fund brat peddling delusions of past grandeur as a cure for the present’s pains.

    Isn’t that what trust fund brats do?

    Ok, ok, I’m not comparing Theresa Heinz to Osama bin Laden. I can feel the indignation already.

    1. Not from me you’re not.

  6. the prob w declaring bin Laden irrelevent is the large quantity of intel taken fm his residence.

    1. We have searched every square inch of this base and all we have found is porno, porno, porno!

  7. Oh, Al Qaeda confirms Osama’s death– I haven’t seen Reason mention it yet (I may have missed it). So much for conspiracy theories.

    1. We have independently confirmed everything the Obama Administration has said so far.

    2. Unless al Qaeda works for us. The Truthers certainly think something like that.

        1. There is no view, however haywire, that is not held by someone.

          1. I learn this about Democracy all the time.

            Occasionally, some poll or some ballot initiative will come up, that regardless of your own biases, Red, Blue, Libertarian, whatever, just seems utterly insane. I’ve found that approximately 46% of the population will salute almost anything you run up the flagpole.

            1. Indeed. I’d like to see a poll–a serious one–that asks which countries people think we should nuke out of existence. With none being only one option.

              1. For extra lulz, they should put some imaginary countries in the poll.

                1. Heh, heh. Maybe the fifty-third state, too.

  8. Gillespie’s ferocious attacks on official enemies could be equaled only by those of a Soviet apparatchik. Odd, isn’t it, how right-wing and left-wing ideologues share the same mind set?

    1. Edward’s utter lack of self-awareness: unsurprising, or completely unsurprising?

    2. So you’re finally realizing that you’re just the same as the right-wingers you hate? Wow, you really are making progress, Edward. And you’ve even stopped pooping the bed.

      1. Two nights in a row do not a trend make.

        1. It’s a start, dude. Baby steps.

          1. Yawn.

            1. So don’t post, you stupid fucking whore.

              1. hey… hey… quit calling the whore stupid. That’s kind of rude, don’t you think?

    3. Maxie says, “I HATE”:

      1 — Gillespie, Gillespie, Gillespie
      1001 — mind sets
      465 — attacks
      44 — Soviets
      77– oddities
      645 — ferocity

  9. Its a little early to declare victory for the modernist “liberal” elements of the Arab Spring. This wouldn’t be the first revolution started with good intentions that ends with a new authoritarian in charge.

    1. Whatever do you mean?

      1. Don’t listen to him. Revolutions always turn out great.

    2. But it’s never too early to ask for donations to support this sort of pulled-right-out-of-my-ass analysis

      1. You can enlist in the Beheaders’ Brigade.

        1. Max mujahed(room) and Osama mujahed(less), keepin’ it real.

    3. I liked how Hezbollah and Fatah joined hands the other day. And I like all the NPR orotund analisys of it.

      I see it this way:

      Hezbollah and Fatah have one thing in common: They want power, and they’re decidecly anti-democratic. The “Arab Spring” scares the shit out of them, and neither Hezbollah nor Fatah want to be in the majority if it happens in Palestine. Because they know that whichever is in the minority will capitalize on Palestinian unrest.

      1. I think you got Hezbollah and Hamas confused. Still bad news.

        1. Shit, yes. My bad.

          Hamas. Oh, and add into that Hamas is running scared because their support system is all Arab Spring’d up as we speak. It’s no surprise the Palestinian authority is reaching out.

          1. Why would the PA make concessions to a weakened enemy? More importantly, how can Israel sabotage this?

            1. By the weakened enemy, I assume you mean Hamas? Neither side has the balls to put their fate in the hands of the hoi polloi. I sincerely believe that the desire to shore up power in unstable times is more important than transient, temporary gains. Hamas’ loss now could merely mean a vulnerable Fatah in the future.

              As for Israel, I honestly have no idea. Why would they want to sabatoge it? I know that Israel has somewhat normalized relations with Fatah, but won’t/doesn’t want to deal with Hamas, because Hamas still refuses to recognize Israel. However, the holy union between Fatah and Hamas may moderate Hamas’ position on this.

              This is one of these things that might be bad for the Palestinian people: They’re now further from a real democratic governing body than ever before- Israeli oppression be damned– but good for Israel in that Hamas will compromise some of its harder line positions in exchange for maintaining localized power.

          2. Why would Hamas be running scared? Their progenitors and kindred spirit, the Egyptian Brotherhood is, if you believe Amr Moussa, about it be voted in as a major force in the Egyptian Parliament. Egypt has already, or is about to permanently open the Rafah crossing into Gaza. The agreement with Fatah is just a means for Hamas to extend its power. Fatah’s positions will move towards Hamas’ not the other way around.

            1. Again, I suspect they are because Syria is a major supporter of Hamas. With the Assad regime in danger of becoming not the regime… it probably helps for Hamas to diversify their power and make new alliances.

              I can’t speak to the rest of your statement.

    4. The real test will be how much baby with the bathwater the Arab protesters are willing to throw out in the creation of a new government. If they can’t see themselves throwing out the elements of Islamic law which get them the authoritarian governments they suffered under, it’s likely they’ll end up under a decidedly uncorrupt, committed Islamic leadership. Always full of rainbows and sunshine.

    5. Yeah, this. Especially if The Brotherhood gets even some power in Egypt, which is likely.

  10. Herman Cain understands how to fix foreign policy problems. You can not solve foreign policy problems by trying to focus attention on yourself, and being a showboat. It is important to listen to what the experts say.

    Herman Cain understands how to solve problems – by DEFINING the problem, determining ways to solve it, seeking experts, and then FIXING it.

    Herman Cain 2012! If you are interested check out the website.

    1. how many times do i have to say no green peppers? no tip for you

    2. I refuse to vote for any candidate involved in copypasta spamming.

  11. “Che Guevara was martyred once too, but only as prelude to a second career as unsalaried silkscreen superstar, the face of the revolutionary dream turned logo for shirts and thongs, Chinese slave labor their only connection to Marx or Lenin.”


    1. Who said…”You can’t spell Douche without Che“?

      1. Some guy named Gus:


  12. Dude, T-shirts! Where can I get my Osama with Evil Bert shirt so I can show off my uh, revolutionary-ness, for the ladies. Actually the message may get confusing, but I bet chicks will still dig it.

  13. Arab spring my ass, he had to be killed. Saying Osama should live is like forgiving Eichman. Did the crime? Do the time (or pay with your life).


    1. Where did Gillespie or Vachon say Osama ‘should live’?

  14. I like all of Al Qaeda’s “official” warnings now that Osama’s dead. How our tears will be mixed with our blood, how the fleas of a thousand camels will infest our downy underarm hair, how we will burn in a thousand fires of Britney Spears’ songs played at top volume…

    They do love to wax them some poetical.

    1. It’s all straight out of the AQ style book.

      1. Strunk & Osama?

        1. The Elements of Vile.

          1. Oh, that’s good. Or…The Elements of Bile.

            1. The Mohammedans of Rile?

              The Arrogance of Nile?

            2. The Flatulence of the Reviled?

              1. remember, Obama was the chief operator here.

      2. How the wind of a thousand underwear bombers will cloud our horizons…

  15. What a load of hopey-changey drivel that piece is. Another desperate oldtimer infatuated with youth and their bodies. Gross.

    Never forget that the biggest fans of the Cultural Revolution, the killing fields, and other collectivist mass slaughters were the over-educated 20-somethings.

  16. I liked the Beast article, until I didn’t. The second half is all psycho-babble and rhetorical flourishes.

  17. “”We, alongside the mujahedeen, bled Russia for 10 years until it went bankrupt and was forced to withdraw in defeat,” bin Laden said.

    He also said al Qaeda has found it “easy for us to provoke and bait this administration.”

    “All that we have to do is to send two mujahedeen to the furthest point east to raise a piece of cloth on which is written al Qaeda, in order to make generals race there to cause America to suffer human, economic and political losses without their achieving anything of note other than some benefits for their private corporations,” bin Laden said.”

    From Al-Jazeera 2007. Anyone still want to argue that Osama didn’t “win”?

  18. that it was easy to bait Bushy, but it is surprising how easy it was to bait Obamy. Osama and AQ as the Tar Baby with Bush, Rummy, Cheney, and now Obama and Hillary doing the punching.


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