Reason Morning Links: Shake Up in Obama Administration, Storms Kill 10, Olbermann Returns

• Changes in Obama administration: Leon Panetta to take over the Pentagon, Gen. David Petraeus to take over CIA.
• Storms kill 10 in the South, Midwest.
• Haley Barbour won't run for president next year.
• Kieth Olbermann gets a new show on Current TV.
• Why Obama's transparency promises have fallen short.
• New from Reason.tv: "Moral Markets: Paul Zak discusses Oxytocin, Trade, and Human Nature"

Comments

[pancakes]

Oxycontin doesn't kill people, APAP does.

[waffles]

Also, isn't oxytocin a hormone, not a pharm?

[Tim]

It sounds the same and thus, should be banned.

[SugarFree]

Insulin is a hormone that I take as a pharmaceutical.

[pancakes]

Sounds dangerous, there oughta be a law, something something.

[sloopyinca]

Are you Wilfred Brimley in real life?

[Matrix]

DIABEETUS!!!!

[Tim]

HE was infected by an alien organism while filming John Carpenter's The Thing in 1982, but he's learned to control it with diet and excercise.

[sloopyinca]

I thought he caught it while on the set of Cocoon during some alien-octogenarian sexual ritual. If he got it from the alien in the chick's body, not so bad, but methinks it may have come from Goldblum sneaking in the back door, if you know what I mean.

That's what Don Ameche confessed on his deathbed, but the reporters killed the story.

[Tim]

I thought Brunley bit off Ameche's arms during the CPR scene in coccon?

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

I don't want to stay out here anymore. I hear things - wierd things. I'm O.K. now. I'm fine.

You watch Windows. Watch him close - you hear we?

[SugarFree]

No, but I once played him in my high school's stage adaptation of Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Remo: SugarFree, you're incredible!

SugarFree: No, I am better than that.

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

And what is a hormone? A chemical that produces a change in cellular activity somewhere in the body. The only difference between a hormone and most drugs is that hormones are produce by glands in the body rather than being introduce.

/pendantic asshole...

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

fucking D key sticking. I'm not as retarded as I soun.

[Your Keyboard]

Wouldn't a sticking "D" key look more like this: I'm not as retardddddedddddd as I soun...?

[sloopyinca]

I see what you i there.

[pancakes]

Everything's always about drugs with you libertarians. You're just lucky youtube is blocked at work. Otherwise people might start catching wise that your political beliefs are merely an extension of your predilection for self-medication.

suck it down.

[Brett L]

Of course I self-medicate. I'm not gonna trust some doctor to get my dosage right just because some pretty pharmaceutical rep told him how much to prescribe.

[capitol l]

Most people don't realize that a majority of their medical decisions are made by a hot chick with free pens and a business degree(bio minor)long before they enter the doctors office.

[Mammoth Shaver]

I seem to be OK with that. As long as it's a hot chick.

[Abdul]

Obama releases long form birth certificate: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.....hp?ref=fpi

Which makes me question whether Oswald really acted alone.

[Brett L]

He must really have been afraid of a Trump candidacy.

[West Texas]

That's what I thought, too. But then I asked myself, "Why would he be scared of Trump?"

I mean withholding it and stoking the crazy flames has been a brilliant political move so far (and I mean that sincerely), so I'm trying to figure out why they would do it *today*. At least wait until after a debate or something when it would be perceived more effectively.

Just weird.

[Abdul]

"Why would he be scared of Trump?"

Trump faced down an angry Rosie O'Donnell--Obama's never faced an opponent even half as scary.

[MNG]

Trump is live taking credit for it right now.

[Old Mexican]

Re: MNG,

Trump is live taking credit for it right now.

And he is denying that he said he was running for president - which is actually true, he never said he would for sure.

[Old Mexican]

The Donald now going after Obama's school records....

.... he may hae a better chance of striking gold there than with the birth certificate deal.

[capitol l]

I never understood the whole school records thing with conservatives.

A) Isn't folk wisdom the highest intellectual attainment for the average GOP voter?

B) What are these people going to do if he releases his college records and it shows that he aced his courses? Are they going to bow down and admit their mental inferiority?

I am not saying that Obama is brilliant, but when you don't pick your battles wisely it can come back to bite you in the ass.

[CaptainSmartass]

We know Obama graduated summa cum laude from Harvard Law School. That should be enough to establish his bona fides as an intelligent person. So Trump pestering him for his school records is just more proof that either the Donald is a Democratic plant, or he's stone-cold crazy.

[Old Mexican]

Re: Capitol l

I never understood the whole school records thing with conservatives.

Right - "conservtives."

Media actually probed other candidates

What are these people going to do if he releases his college records and it shows that he aced his courses?

It would tell me that Harvard and Columbia have very lenient teachers, those schools not being worth the money. Reading what Obama actually wrote gave me a clue about his proficiency...

[capitol l]

The thing is that no matter what those transcripts say you believe Obama to be of average intelligence. The people that believe he is brilliant: they'll keep believing the same.

Rs and Ds like to point out the discrepancies in their opponents' positions then adopt the opposing position to get credit. Think: republicans accusing dems of cutting medicare, tough on crime democrats, drug warriors of both parties, and the state grows...

Now we can add college transcript pissing contests to the list of meaningless crap debated during elections while the federal behemoth feeds on the American people.

All I care about in a candidate is their commitment to cutting the size and scope of the federal government. I don't care if they have a D or an R, or failed freshmen sociology , or whatever.

And don't get me started on the liburul media, I think the mainstream media are willing dupes of the state for whomever is in power.

[Old Mexican]

Re: Capitol l,

The thing is that no matter what those transcripts say you believe Obama to be of average intelligence. The people that believe he is brilliant: they'll keep believing the same.

I don't think he's brillian, nor do I believe he's a doofus. The fact is that the media and many on the left believe that liberals are invariably very smart and conservatives are invariably very dumb, and (worse) that black conservatives enjoyed the advantages of Affirmative Action. The fact that Obama can't do a good speech or even an average speech from memory tells ME something about the man, and it is that, a Rhodes Scholar, he ain't.

[OO]

how would u know those schools are not worth the money?

[sloopyinca]

cap l,

I don't think they want his grades as much as his admittance and financial records. They want to see if he's getting some kind of scholarship for foreigners and/or if it says he's Indonesian (if he was formally adopted by Mr. Soetero).

IMO, that's what they want. The grades don't matter too much.

[capitol l]

I am a crazy libertarian and that sounds crazy even to me.

We have a sitting president with a perfectly fucked up record and a shit economy, and this is the shit some focus on?

[Old Mexican]

Re: capitol l

We have a sitting president with a perfectly fucked up record and a shit economy, and this is the shit some focus on?

It would finally put to rest the myth of the brilliant liberal once and for all, capitol. It has made more damage than thinking your average politician is an average person just like you. Or maybe better: like me.

[stuartl]

"It would finally put to rest the myth of the brilliant liberal...."

Didn't puppy dog Joe Biden do that?

[stuartl]

"It would finally put to rest the myth of the brilliant liberal...."

Didn't puppy dog Joe Biden do that?

[cynical]

Yeah, it kinda makes fucked up sense to do that when you're looking at some wild card with no track record, but when you've got over two years of shitty governance, what the fuck are you doing worrying about how well he did in fucking college? You don't need to figure out why he's a shitty president or for how long he's failed at life, you just need to show voters how shitty he is right now.

[Not Sure]

That poll yesterday, the one showing a majority were unsure he was born in the US, is probably what did it.

[John]

Trump was doing damage to him. First, it fed the perception that Obama is an elitist. People think '" i have to produce my birth certificate why not him?" Second it reaffirms the whole idea that no one knows anything about him and he wasn't vetted. Rest assured Obama plans to dig up dirt on every Republican candidate. It was going to be a little hard to whine about some Republican's grades in college when he hadn't even produced a birth certificate.

[TrickyVic]

""First, it fed the perception that Obama is an elitist. People think '" i have to produce my birth certificate why not him?""'

What President or candidate, has ever produced their birth cert before? When was the last time you had to present your long form?

[John]

John McCain that is who. There was a huge stink about him being born in Pananama not the US if you will remember. And I had to produce a long form of my birth certificate when I got my passport renewed and when I got a security clearance from the government.

[Fluffy]

A huge stink?

I don't remember any huge stink.

I remember it being held up as an example of the way "natural born" could sometimes mean "not born in the territory of the US, but born to citizen parents" - but I don't remember anybody complaining about it.

[CoyoteBlue]

Now for the college transcripts.

[Columbia Student Affairs Dept]

Now for the college transcripts.

Noooo! Not that!!!!! Pleeeeease!!!!

[Nipplemancer]

they can't go claiming he's the smartest guy in the room if he was a straight C student, can they?

[kinnath]

Worked for W didn't it?

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

No. I don't recall anyone claiming W was the smartest guy in the room, or doing anything other than acknowledging he was a C student and a partyer in college.

[kinnath]

did I really need to put ";-)" on the end of that one?

[Hank]

No. W was never seen/portrayed/defended as an intellectual.

Some defended him as "not an idiot", but "smartest guy in the room"? Never happened.

[Hank]

Beat by three full minutes? Damn this randomly-arranged keyboard...

[Free2Booze]

I'm trying to figure out why they would do it *today*.

A convenient distraction? Isn't the Fed meeting today? The Ben Bernak is supposed to hold a press conference.

[Citizen Nothing]

The conspiracy runs deep! Mahalo!

[Fist of Etiquette]

So all that money spent fighting its release really was just to give his fellow attorneys work. Huh.

[sloopyinca]

1. Why is the M in P.M. (5b) not an actual font size and why is it offset in a way inconsistent with typewriters?
2. Why is the A in Africa (11) raised in a way inconsistent with any other capital A?
3. Why is his father's race "African" (9), which has never, ever been considered a "race" in the USA? It has read "Negro" on any other B/C from that time frame that I've seen. Notice, his mother's race wasn't "European" or "American."

Also, the razor blade marks are still obvious across the top of the document and they didn't even get the left side taped up where it was razor bladed for some reason.

If this were a counterfeit operation, the Secret Service would be laughing their ass off at the incompetence of the forgers. As it stands, the media will not.

[JoshINHB]

The kerning is inconsistent for a typewriter.

[CaptainSmartass]

Hawaiian birth certificates are filled out based on the information provided by the parents (I should know, I was born in Hawaii). So if his father said, when asked for his race, "African", that's what they would put.

[sloopyinca]

So if his father said, when asked for his race, "African", that's what they would put.

I thought it was widely acknowledged that his father wasn't there.

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

Uh...those "razor marks" are the roller edge on the microfilm reader. Or are you spoofing on me?

[sloopyinca]

I'm not spoofing. See NutraSweet's comments below. This whole thing looks sketchy as fuck.

[SugarFree]

I am in no way, shape or fashion a Birther... put I scan images and work in Photoshop all day... that thing is 'shopped to hell and back. I mean, wow, that is fake looking.

[John]

No shit SF? Really? I am serious. It looks fake to you?

[SugarFree]

1. Microfilm is very rarely in color. In '61, I have a hard time believing they would be using it for a form that only needs to be reproduced in B&W.

2. That curl on the left doesn't like like any microfilm artifact that I've every seen. It looks like a scan you would get out of a book on a flatbed. Why would birth certificates be bound? Why would they microfilm birth certificates in a bound form in the first place? (Microfilmed books are often razored.)

3. Even given all those things are right, it is obvious that copy and pasting out a clone stamp has been used to create the outer bounds of the form when the date and signature stamp is. (You can tell but the uneveness of the that top boundary.)

That thing looks faker than Playboy tits to me.

[John]

Wow.

[Fluffy]

Who ever said it was microfilmed?

I thought it was just in storage.

[SugarFree]

If the original long forms were discarded (an explanation for the lack of producing it for a year or so), then this has to be a microfilm, right? But they seemed to have now backed off from that...

As you can see on the other thread, most of what I asserted in points 1 and 3 is correct. But what's left still looks like crap.

If it isn't microfilm--and I seriously doubt it at this point--then it is scanned from a bound collection of LFBCs. If that's the best scan Hawaii can manage of an original document, some people need to get fired.

[Fluffy]

Microfilm used to rarely be in color, but who knows when these materials were microfilmed?

If it was in the last 15 years, we're talking about a state government that probably bought the top line product. Maybe nobody there thought, "Gee, this doesn't really have to be in color".

I don't know what you mean by #3 so can't comment.

[SugarFree]

Look, the TPM document, that I was commenting on, is clearly a fake someone made in order to clean up the black and white one that is viewable on Nick's thread. To make it look more official, I guess.

As for the document on Nick's thread, it looks like crap, but it is not an amateurish fake like the TPM version. Probably scanned from a bound stack of documents. An observation that is not depositive on its authenticity, merely an observation.

As for color microfilm... by the time it became economical, digital scanning and storage undercut it severely. It exists, but it was used primarily for image reproduction, not the reproduction of typed government forms. (And it is far more likely it would be on microfiche anyway, a much more popular government format... microfiliming was predominant in library applications.)

[TrickyVic]

The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

[Joe Birther]

Oh please, the birth certificate shows a typeface that wasn't even available yet in 1961.

[sloopyinca]

Did they make security post-it's in the early 60's or is it a peel and stick?

[West Texas]

I think the issue with the Dan Rather memo was that someone was able to very easily recreate the whole document with the default settings in Microsoft Word. Not so much the typeface as it was very specific style elements that a military peon on a typewriter would not have been able to do in 1969 or whenever that was supposed to be.

[Solanum]

Program that offers bar hoppers free rides to and from home gets flack from local anti-DWI group

"I have a big problem with that," said Linda Atkinson with the DWI Resource Center. "The victims we work with and the victims that MADD works with lose their jobs, lose their homes.

She admits the program may reduce the number of alcohol-related crashes, but she believes the money could be better spent on enforcement and education.

Yes, she actually said that. Using money to throw people in jail and for "education" is more important than saving lives. Sick bitch.

[Brett L]

Wait, wait. Victims? Why would victims be losing their houses?

[Zeb]

Maybe a drunk driver drove into their house and it fell down? Or maybe they died. Dead people can't own houses.

[Dead man]

Challenge accepted!

[waffles]

No, I'm pretty sure you can't own a house. Still, feel free to vote as many times as you'd like.

[John]

"The victims we work with and the victims that MADD works with lose their jobs, lose their homes."

What does that even mean? And whatever it means how does that mean you shouldn't give someone a ride home?

[Tim]

I think what it means is that the money is needed to fund salaries and expenses for MADD employees.

[CoyoteBlue]

Employees of non-profit advocacy groups - aren't they the real victims when individuals find solutions?

[robc]

It's almost like we created an industry to help take care of these offenders and the victims be damned.

Listen up bitch. If they take a cab they arent fucking offenders! There arent any victims in that case.

[Zeb]

Yeah, MADD is evil. They want to punish drinkers who are responsible enough to get a ride because other less responsible drinkers cause harm to some people.

[SugarFree]

How much more of this will it take before MADD is recognized for what it is: a terrorist organization.

[Fatty Bolger]

More evidence that MADD has become nothing more than a temperance society.

She doesn't want drunks to get free rides because drinking is immoral and evil.

[Ska]

I love the word temperance. It means both moderation in consumption and absolute prohibition all at the same time.

*facepalm*

[sloopyinca]

But to those in the temperance movement, they do mean the same thing.

[Solanum]

Instead of being safe and getting rides, I honestly think she *wants* people to get behind the wheel, so they can be thrown in jail and punished for being evil drinkers. Most of these MADD-types have lost loved ones to a drunk driver and are now just seeking vengeance.

[Fist of Etiquette]

But Atkinson said Safe Ride caters to people who want to drink excessively.

Hey, maybe she's libertarian. She's got a point. Taxpayer money going to give lushes free rides home.

She admits the program may reduce the number of alcohol-related crashes, but she believes the money could be better spent on enforcement and education.

Oh, well okay, maybe not.

[SugarFree]

Taxpayer money going to give lushes free rides home.

If that were the case, she should come out against buses and light rail as well.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I was about to call you on your bullshit, that buses and light rail don't cater exclusively to drunken louts. But then I realized that, at closing time, they really do.

[Mo]

Give me the temperance movement over MADD any day. At least the former didn't hide their opposition to alcohol behind a smokescreen that they were opposed to drunk stagecoach driving.

[[J[o]h[nn]y] L[o][n]gt[o]rs[o]]

Golden Girls Gay Bingo
What better way to honor the late great Estelle Getty than taking part in the ultimate senior center game while a drag queen Bea Arthur sings "Thank You for Being a Friend"?

[[J[o]h[nn]y] L[o][n]gt[o]rs[o]]

Hey cap l, up for a little Golden Girl's bingo?

[capitol l]

Sounds good.

[[J[o]h[nn]y] L[o][n]gt[o]rs[o]]

More NLRB Overreach?

Why I'm an atheist, contd:
Lawrence O'Donnell: Jesus Specifically Endorsed A 100% Taxation Rates for The Top 5% of Earners In Society

[robc]

The author of that piece gets the important bit right:

Also, the "give" part of the command seems rather more important than O'Donnell is letting on: Virtue is demonstrated by voluntary undertaking of it. Not state-compelled compliance with it.

bolding is mine.

[[J[o]h[nn]y] L[o][n]gt[o]rs[o]]

Freedom is slavery. Man is only free when he's forced to live by the left's values. Left wing values are so self-evidently always right that anyone not living by them is clearly being forced not to by some corporation or something, therefore we must free people by making their choices for them.

[Zeb]

Well, the threat of no being allowed into the Kingodom of Heaven is a sort of coercion, isn't it?

[robc]

Only to those who want into the Kingdom of Heaven.

CS Lewis described "Man's search for God" as equivalent to "a mouse's search for the cat".

That analogy surely doesnt apply to everyone, it did apply to Lewis. It probably applies to a lot of other people too.

[MNG]

No Zeb, not as long as you can go elsewhere, like Nirvana.

[pancakes]

Nirvana is not a place.

[waffles]

but Valhalla is.

[Ice Nine]

You need to get out more.

[Citizen Nothing]

Michigan has it all.

[[J[o]h[nn]y] L[o][n]gt[o]rs[o]]

Virtue is demonstrated by voluntary undertaking of it. Not state-compelled compliance with it.

I wish religious conservatives believed that also.

[robc]

religious conservatives

???

Religious people who are also conservative politically

or

People of conservative religious beliefs?

Because Im of the latter so your comment makes no sense.

[zoltan]

Don't be fucking coy, robc, you know exactly the kind of zealots he's talking about.

[MNG]

"Also, the "give" part of the command seems rather more important than O'Donnell is letting on: Virtue is demonstrated by voluntary undertaking of it."

Tell that to Ananias and his wife...

[cynical]

"But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God. "

In other words, he had every right to keep part of it, if that was his wish. He was struck down for attempting to deceive Peter (and God) into thinking he was making more of a sacrifice than he actually was.

[Zeb]

Jesus did also say to shut up and pay your taxes.

[robc]

That he did.

He didnt make any comment about what rate Caesar should tax at though.

But Samuel did in the OT. He warned against Kings because they would take 10%!!!!

It will probably never get written, mostly because Im not a writer, but Ive had this idea for an essay for about 15 years, covering this exact topic. The title of the essay is "On Being Caesar".

[SugarFree]

Exactly. The "first fruits" doesn't mean 39%.

[robc]

This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle[c] and donkeys he will take for his own use. He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the LORD will not answer you in that day. -- 1 Samuel 8:11-18

[SugarFree]

I like Old Testament God when he gets straight up gangsta.

[Fluffy]

When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the LORD will not answer you in that day.

But Donald Trump will, bitches!

[Matrix]

10% is a pittance compared to what our government takes.

[robc]

Exactly the point.

Well, they are currently taking about 16% of GDP? Of course, they are spending about 25% of GDP, so that makes it even worse going forward.

They being the Feds. Add on state and local and Im sure it breaks 20%.

[zoltan]

When the income tax was introduced in the early 1900s (amendment passed under Taft but the actually tax was started by Wilson) critics of it thought--Hey, it might only be a couple percentage points now, but I bet it might even get up to 10% and that is just wrong!

Suckers.

[Ice Nine]

But Samuel did in the OT. He warned against Kings because they would take 10%!!!

And as any good Christian knows, only Jesus is entitled to 10%

[cynical]

"They brought the coin, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?" "Caesar's," they replied."

Perhaps he was recognizing government currency as a tool of control and theft. Yes, even GOOOOOLD, as history tells us. So that makes him, what, an-cap or something?

[CrackertyAssCracker]

That ain't Caesar's money. It's mine.

[robc]

Another interesting part of the passage that O'Donnell left out: that is the chapter that contains the Eye of the Needle bit.

After Jesus tells the disciples that it is nearly impossible for a rich man to get into heaven, what is their response?

"Who then can be saved?"

So Jesus makes an analogy about rich people and the disciples, for some weird reason, think it applies to EVERYONE, not just the rich. And Jesus doesnt correct them but answers the question asked.

I think its quite possible the disciples got more out of the example than those who read it a bit too simply.

[Anonymous Coward]

I think its quite possible the disciples got more out of the example than those who read it a bit too simply.

Jesus made a lot of statements like that. His disciples took it one way, the Pharisees took it another.

Even Jesus' "render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's" when read with Job 41:11 (Who has a claim against Me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to Me.) then one could come to the conclusion that Caesar isn't "owed" a damn thing.

[robc]

And Job 41:11 (and Psalm 24:1 for a more explicit example) explains Jesus's comment to the rich man. He needed to acknowledge ownership. Like with Job (only less dramatically) he needed to give it up to make this acknowledgement.

[Lord Googoo]

My understanding is that "The Eye of the Needle" isn't a reference to sewing tools, but rather a gate at the walls used at night, in place of the main gate, which was kept closed at night. In order to enter via the needle gate, a camel would have to pass through nearly kneeling. It's a safety thing.

[Really?]

I think most serious people regard that as a specious interpretation.

[CaptainSmartass]

Then why would his disciples think it's impossible for someone to do that?

[wylie]

It's tough to drive a camel when drunk?

[THE Revered Reverend]

The camel walking through the eye of a needle comment means you can't take your treasures with you when you die like the Pharaohs believed.

[Old Mexican]

Lawrence O'Donnell: Jesus Specifically Endorsed A 100% Taxation Rates for The Top 5% of Earners In Society

A planet where atheists rely on the authority of religious icons to justify their own kleptomanic agendas?

[Tim]

The left loves socialist Jesus. If only He had made some pro-choice comments they'd be forcing us into church.

[Old Mexican]

Re: Tim,

If only He had made some pro-choice comments they'd be forcing us into church.

You are already being forced into church: It's called the Amerikan Pulbic Skool Seistim.

[Tim]

It's spilled "sestem". Ediut.

[Old Mexican]

You see how pervasive it is?

[OO]

no tell us

[Hammerite convert]

"Before death came, the liars were made to feast upon the hands of the thieves, and the thieves were made to ingest the tongues of their liar brothers, and we praised the Master Builder for his judgements." -The Hammer Book of Tenets

[MNG]

Atheists Seek Chaplain Role in the Military

In the military, there are more than 3,000 chaplains who minister to the spiritual and emotional needs of active duty troops, regardless of their faiths. The vast majority are Christians, a few are Jews or Muslims, one is a Buddhist. A Hindu, possibly even a Wiccan may join their ranks soon.

But an atheist?

Strange as it sounds, groups representing atheists and secular humanists are pushing for the appointment of one of their own to the chaplaincy, hoping to give voice to what they say is a large ? and largely underground ? population of nonbelievers in the military.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04.....l?_r=1&hp;

[John]

That is straight out of The Onion. They have atheist ministers, they are called psychologists.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Next up: assigning medical personnel specifically to treat service members who are Christian Scientists.

[Zeb]

Theists don't see psychologists? There are no Christian psychologists?

(By the way, I think the idea of atheist chaplains is stupid)

[John]

Sure they do. I just can't think of what an "atheist chaplain" would be if not a psychologist.

[SugarFree]

The last thing an atheist wants as he lays dying is someone trying to convert him. It would be the equivalent of an atheist talking to a dying Catholic about how transubstantiation is ritualistic cannibalism. Give the man his last rites, already.

[Brett L]

What rites can an atheist chaplain give that his buddy in the foxhole can't?

[SugarFree]

We have mysteries we won't reveal to an outsider like you.

[Atheist Last Rites]

"Shit, dude, you're pretty fucked up. I don't think you're gonna make it. I'm sorry, bro. It's been cool knowing you."

[Dying Atheist Soldier]

"Uh...*cought!* ... Uh, can I get the Christian Chaplain instead, please?"

[zoltan]

Now that is some funny shit.

[Fluffy]

I think they may be doing this because the army's current setup feeds into a Romneyesque "The important thing is that at least you have a faith" viewpoint.

The fundamentalist community is actively seeking every opportunity to proselytize members of the armed forces under the guise of therapeutic ministry. In order to compete with that, atheists have to use the structures that are already in place. And one of those structures is the chaplaincy.

Think of it this way: if there was a law out there giving an hour of free TV broadcast time a week to every "chaplain" who applied for it, I would probably claim to be an atheist "chaplain". If you don't want me to piggyback on your institutions, don't assign them benefits or privileges.

[John]

You are right that fundamentalists are running amok in the military. The US military is being slowly destroyed by a an alliance from hell of PC liberals and Fundamentalist Christians. They are combining to take any initiative and fun completely out of military service. And both groups agree on virtually every stupid policy the military have. They just do so for different reasons. Christians don't want soldiers having sex. PC liberals think all sex is rape. But the result is the same in both cases.

That said, starting an atheistic chaplaincy isn't going to help. And the atheists are probably going to be PC liberals anyway.

[Really?]

Drinking too:

Fundies do not want drinking because alcohol is an evil sin. PC Liberals do not want us drinking in Muslim countries because it offends local "sensibilities".

Like you said, the same with sex. Oh yeah, and porn. This alliance that you brilliantly illuminate wants us all to be warrior-monks: angelic creatures who do nothing but study at the University of Maryland or go to church when we're not killing people.

[TrickyVic]

""They have atheist ministers, they are called psychologists""

That's funny.

All the chaplains were multi-denominational when I was enlisted. I wonder if he would have a problem with that?

[Abdul]

Why do non-believers in the tooth fairy continue to demand a special place to put their baby teeth and some sort of compensation that is equivalent to tooth-fairy believers? doesn't that take away the whole point of non-belief?

I call upon atheists to stand behind their belief in nothingness and sleep late on sunday instead of organizing a secular equivalent of church.

[Citizen Nothing]

Excellent.

[Citizen Nothing]

If there is no heaven for non-believers, that's discrimination, straight up.

[SugarFree]

I know a guy involved with this mini-movement. The "church-going" atheist stuff is bizarre. I don't need to go somewhere every week to have what I profess to believe spit back at me. Nor do I want atheist "Sunday school" either.

[dbcooper]

Isn't going to the pub every sunday enough?

[SugarFree]

It's not a tradition yet. We have only been able to do that for a couple of years.

[Tim]

No more free rides home, either.

[Lord Googoo]

Isn't going to the pub every sunday morning enough?

[Zeb]

There actually is a movement of "atheist church"? That is just too silly. I guess there are a lot of insecure atheists out there.

[SugarFree]

There actually is a movement of "atheist church"?

Yes, it's called Unitarianism.

[rimshot]

[T]

I tend to think of Unitarianism as a club for people who like the idea of going to church but don't want to be bothered with all that religion and dogma.

[SugarFree]

Hippie book-club.

[Anglican]

I thought that was the Episcopal church?

[Zeb]

Unitarians: "there is at most one god".

[capitol l]

I actually thought it would be a good idea to have an atheist church. You could have service on Sunday, serve beer, have sports on giant non-God teevees, and serve chicken wings...all tax exempt, of course.

If I do get this thing off the ground I demand to be addressed as The Good and Reverend Knucklebags.

[Lord Googoo]

A very fine idea. Especially the tax exempt part. Brilliant!

[L. Ron Nothing]

If you want to get rich, start a religion.

[cynical]

Yeah, if atheists put together a good church they'd probably have more traction as a religion. I mean "a-theist" just means you don't believe in theism. Doesn't mean you can't have all the other trappings of religion.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

My Sunday morning atheist ritual is to read the Sunday newspaper while drinking coffee and eating breakfast. I usually read the comics first, then the op/ed pages, and sometimes quickly flip through the local news stuff. Then I get up and work on projects around the house all day, usually with NPR shows or right-wing talk on the radio to keep me company.

[Really?]

"The morning paper's ink is on our minds, on our lips, and in our hearts"

[mad libertarian guy]

Sleep late. Maybe cut the lawn with Lamb of God accompaniment.

[sloopyinca]

I call upon atheists to stand behind their belief in nothingness and sleep late on sunday instead of organizing a secular equivalent of church.

Does that mean the AGW protests will all be midweek?

[cynical]

Can we demand Objectivist chaplains too?

[Tim]

Haley Barbour, wasn't he that fictional elephant king?

[waffles]

my reaction exactly. I thought fictional characters were relegated to the write-in vote, not appear on the ballot. Though Optimus Prime always ran for class president, always.

[Anonymous Coward]

Babar

King of the Elephants.

[Fist of Etiquette]

On his first day in office, President Obama issued a memo to all federal agencies, ordering them to release more classified documents to the public. When considering requests under the Freedom of Information Act, it read, a "presumption of disclosure" should govern all decisions. The same should be true when deciding whether to classify documents to begin with. "In the face of doubt," Obama declared, "openness prevails."

Of course, at the beginning of his term, everything he was disclosing was about the previous administration. As we move into 2010, when Obama started to be forced to be president and not just the guy who reluctantly inherited things from Bush, information got a little more precious.

[Tim]

I already know too much about the Obama Administration.

[robc]

While I havent had any storm damage...yet...my sump pump is getting a nice workout.

[SugarFree]

They just rushed us all down the basement. This is getting boring in its regularity.

[robc]

Maybe they are trying to drown you all...hoping the basement had flooded.

Gallatin gets a tornado warning and you get rushed to the basement? WTF?

No, I dont know why Im writing in Larry King mode today...

[Citizen Nothing]

Which gives me another chance to link to one of my all-time faves.

[SugarFree]

They issued one for the city at 9am. Where I work is up on a hill. We have few problems with flooding, fortunately.

[Tim]

There are no atheists in tornados- at least we're going to find out.

[robc]

We have few problems with flooding, fortunately.

Oh yeah, I forgot, Lexington doesnt actually have any water.

Hey, lets build our city in the one spot in KY not located on a river or lake or above a reachable water table. We will buy all our potable water from ferners*.

*People outside Fayette Co.

[SugarFree]

And our water tastes like a public pool that just had 40 apple-juice-filled 5-year-olds spent two hours in.

[Mike M.]

Current TV? ROFLMAO. Give him a few more years and he'll be on Aurora public access right right after Wayne and Garth.

[Lord Googoo]

No way.

[Garth]

Way.

[Brett L]

I think public access has more viewers.

[MNG]

Is it me or is this big time WTF?

A Book of Recipes Gathered From Holocaust Survivors

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04.....s.html?hpw

[SugarFree]

It's not that weird to me. Recipes are often links to the past. When I make my great-grandmother's vinegar pie, it is in part an act of remembrance.

[John]

This is part of a planned series. The next book is going to be gardening tips from Killing Field survivors.

[dbcooper]

*guffaws* Naughty but good. 🙂

[Tim]

+1

[WTF]

The next book is going to be gardening tips from Killing Field survivors.

Followed by Swimming Lessons from Tsunami Survivors. (Too soon?)

[SFC B]

I added "Under the Sea" to my "Tsunami Relief Mix" playlist.

It is never too soon.

[Nipplemancer]

everything is better, down where it's wetter

[JoshINHB]

Then a DIY guide from the Gulag.

[Citizen Nothing]

Oh my God! It's a cookbook!!!!!!!

[Abdul]

Step one--while performing slave labor, steal anything of value that you can.

Step two--trade thing of value for anything edible. Face death if caught trading.

Step three--saute with fresh bay leaves. Serves the caloric needs of .05% of slave labor.

[Old Mexican]

Re: MNG,

Is it me or is this big time WTF?

Why do you hate cooks so much, MNG?

[Lord Googoo]

And not one recipe for German Potato Salad?

[Da Donald]

I am very proud of myself because I've accomplished something no one else could...I am really honored to play such a big role...Is it real? We need to check it out

[Lord Googoo]

Police storm wrong house -- and hold circuit court judge at gunpoint

Broward Circuit Court Judge Ilona Holmes, her sister and her sister's family says they were ordered at gun point by several Broward Sheriffs Deputies on Easter Sunday to come out of her sister's home with their hands up.

It was no evening of peace for the Deerfield Beach family, who'd just finished dinner with friends and family, and sent extra Easter dinner to a needy family connected with their church. Then, at 8:20 p.m., police got a call about a possible burglary next door. But a bad address caused police to go to the wrong home.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/l.....99.html?dr

[WTF]

Too bad it wasn't a SWAT entry. Maybe the asshole judge would be more careful about signing warrants.

[Sal Paradise]

"Arriving police outside spotted someone inside 230 ? Neville Scarlett was in the kitchen cleaning up the Easter dinner plates - and thought he might be the burglar."

You'll find most burglars like to tidy up before they leave. It's just polite.

[zoltan]

""The one that first recognized her, he picked the gun up, opened it up, took the bullets out, he started giving her a speech: 'Judge Holmes, you know, these guys may not know who you are. I know who you are. This could have been so different.' "

[CaptainSmartass]

Really hope for those cops' sakes none of them have to appear in her court anytime soon. Though for my sake and my desire to be amused by others' discomfort, I hope they do.

[MNG]

Ag-Gag Laws?

Getting caught is a drag. Just ask Kirt Espenson, whose employees at E6 Cattle Company in Southwest Texas were videotaped bashing cows' heads in with pickaxes and hammers and performing other acts of unspeakably sickening cruelty.

Yet if some state legislators have their way, horrific but valuable videos like that one will never be made.

And these may be moving in the wrong direction. In their infinite wisdom the legislatures of Iowa, Minnesota, Florida and others are considering measures that would punish heroic videographers like the one who spent two weeks as an E6 employee

http://opinionator.blogs.nytim.....e-animals/

[John]

http://www.realclearpolitics.c....._ever.html

2012 election to be the most racist ever. The thing that I hate the Obama supporters more than anything is the bullshit line about how his election was going to be some kind of transcendent event for race relations. Any one paying attention knew those rat bastards would go right back to calling America racist the first time something went against Obama. And that is exactly what they are doing.

[WTF]

In fact, it may actually be racist of you to point this out.

[Lord Googoo]

Do you have a question, comment or idea about the Tavis Smiley show? Maybe there's a topic you're passionate about? Have someone in mind Tavis should interview? We want to hear from you. Please use the form below to send us your thoughts and suggestions.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/tavissmiley/tell-tavis/

[Lord Googoo]

Dear Tavis,

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?????!!!!

Best,
Lord Googoo

[Mongo]

Nobody takes Tavis Smiley seriously.

[Citizen Nothing]

What if he changed his name to Purvis Frowney?

[Arcaster]

From my hometown:

http://www.courierpress.com/ne.....-arrested/

Anyone else think the heavily armed SWAT team is a bit excessive?

[Restoras]

I'm starting to think that SWAT teams are an excuse for fat, lazy, stupid cops to play pretend commando without, you know, the training and expertise that actual commandos have.

I see cops in Times Square and Grand Central Station, some at least 40 lbs overweight, decked out in kevlar helmets and body armor and toting sub-machine guns. They look like caricatures instead of some threat-reducing "presence".

[Arcaster]

Funny you say that. My friend that emailed me the story said it my just have been the police chief (350ish lbs with presumably heavy arms).

[Old Mexican]

Black Entrepreneurs Who Supported Obama Now Have Second Thoughts About Obama's Stance on Black (and everyone else's) Business

Ron Busby, a former small business owner and corporate executive, in 2010 officially launched the U.S. Black Chamber, Inc., an alliance of 80 black chambers of commerce across the country.

"Everyone has someone representing them here in Washington, D.C. except for black businesses," Busby explained in a recent interview with BMoreNews.com.

Except, there is an organization in D.C. called the National Black Chamber of Commerce, founded in 1992 and headed by Harry Alford.

Now, Alford's longstanding black business group and Busby's rival upstart are locked in battle, including a lawsuit over trademark infringement.

And President Obama, the nation's first African American president, has backed Busby, bringing him to the White House for bill signings and important speeches, and his staff even helping coin the new organization's motto, "the national voice of the black business community."

Meanwhile, the slights have left Alford ? who voted for and donated to Obama's 2008 presidential campaign ? fuming. He calls Obama's move a calculated strategy to silence him.

"They're afraid of me. They're afraid of the Chamber. My work has a lot of credibility, and they're afraid because I don't dance to their music," Alford said in an interview.

[John]

I would like to believe the great silent black middle class will turn on the Democratic party.

[Tavis Smiley]

""They're afraid of me. They're afraid of the Chamber. My work has a lot of credibility, and they're afraid because I don't dance to their music," Alford said in an interview."

RACIST!!!

[mad libertarian guy]

No. He's a race traitor uncle Tom lawn jockey house nigger.

Get your team blue racism right.

[Really?]

Better idea: be just a businessman, not a black businessman. Then you might not have voted for the guy who just happens to kinda-sorta match your skin color.

[Virginia]

DOJ drops charges against whistleblower Tamm. The hypocrisy finally got too thick.

[Warty]

Ugly woman arrested for making too much noise

Woman with terrible taste in food gets punched by cop

[Old Mexican]

It's Misogynist Day!

[zoltan]

From the first link: "According to the Palm Beach Post, the people who disrupted West's town hall did so because they were not pleased with his pre-event condition that he'd take only written questions submitted before the event. The Post reports that police escorted two men out of the event and that questions hecklers asked included, "How about our Medicare that you're stealing?" and "How about allowing questions from the audience?"

The irony is delicious.

[dbcooper]

When Russian officials decide to steal a company:

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/a.....?page=full

[Virginia]

Three weeks after approving the fraudulent refund, the entire top management of Moscow Tax Office 28 began buying multimillion dollar properties at the Kempinski Palm Jumeirah -- a luxury hotel and housing complex on an artificial palm-shaped island off the coast of Dubai.

Joke's on them then b/c that shit is cracking & sinking.

[cynical]

You know, as much as I like to argue that government is just a legitimized mafia, it gives you some perspective when you see a government that is literally an extension of the mafia.

[John]

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news.....38319.html

Sword fight at Sikh Temple. The Sikhs just kick ass.

[Tim]

Why don't they use guns like real Americans?

[Brett L]

Hey. No shooting in church. We use axe handles and baseball bats. Cricket bats (mentioned in the story) are inferior. Too much air resistance.

[WTF]

Sword fight at Sikh Temple.

Is that some sort of gay porn?

[Solanum]

Amateurs. The Kurgan will crush them all.

[cynical]

You know how Indiana Jones would deal with that shit, right?

[sloopyinca]

Wanna see some New Professionalism?

Cop beats the piss out of a woman at IHOP in Atlanta.

[Warty]

Still, I'd rather get punched than eat anything with that gloopy fake syrup that they serve there.

[sloopyinca]

According to the AJC, the cop was off-duty and the woman was trying to get between him and another woman he was yelling at.

It should be illegal for an off-duty cop to wear his uniform.

[John]

How dare a civilian get between a cop and his appointment with domestic violence.

[Jerry]

Still, it was kinda stupid of the black-dressed woman to hit back at the officer.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

The dude slapped her in the face for being a loud-mouth. Mouthing off gets you a smack in the kisser, followed by a full-force, closed-fist punch?

[T]

How else was he supposed to tell a mouthy broad to get back in the kitchen?

[Jerry]

She was (physically) interfering with the officer, who seemed to be trying to detain or arrest the other woman. That's just not a smart thing to do, even if the officer was in the wrong.

[Lord Googoo]

Do these people not know that Atlanta is rife with Waffle Houses?

[CaptainSmartass]

Hard to say what was going on without context. Who's the guy they're fighting over?

Seems to me that both the cop and the woman escalated the situation needlessly, starting when he pushed her face away. If this guy has a temper, he might need to look for a different line of work.

[Tim]

True story:
My neighbor wants to give away one of her ducks: it "rapes" the chickens all day long. Rape being her word.
So you want to give me your rapist duck? How can I express my gratitude?

[SugarFree]

Gift certificate for chicken therapy?

[Tim]

I told my wife; " We can call it Fuck duck"!
I got slapped.

[Charlotte Sometimes]

I'd go with "Gonzo."

[Lord Googoo]

I suggest naming it Steve.

[Nipplemancer]

duckrape is nothing to joke about

[Disheveled hen]

You can say that again.

[Nipplemancer]

duckrape is nothing to joke about

[Fist of Etiquette]

Back in the 40's to take care of a rapist duck problem, it took Walt Disney's lawyers to show up with a bag of hush money.

[WTF]

Now we know why Donald Duck doesn't wear pants.

[Tim]

+1 all around!

[Trespassers W]

Kind of early in the morning to be winning the internet.

[Name Withheld]

It's a low bar.

[Neighbor]

So you want to give me your rapist duck? How can I express my gratitude?

Just keep him "happy."

[Tim's new duck]

Nice house. Got anything to rape?

[tonight. you.]

"All I Know is, pond, and quack, and ...rape."

[Brett L]

Its not rape in duck culture.

[Fluffy]

STEVE SMITH NO WORK WITH DUCKS...DUCKS BAD COWORKERS...

Ah, fuck it. I can never come up with a good Steve Smith.

[STEVE SMITH]

STEVE SMITH SO PROUD OF DUCK SON STEVE SMITH NEVER KNEW STEVE SMITH HAD! THAT DUCK IN COLLEGE SWORE TO STEVE SMITH THAT SHE FINALLY GOT HER DUCK PERIOD!

[Solanum]

Police go to wrong address and confront the homeowner, a circuit court judge, at gunpoint

[Old Mexican]

Uh, oh... a circuit court judge???

[ZagFoo]

Should be interesting to see how that turns out.

http://www.complete-privacy.edu.tc

[Aresen]

"Storms Kill 10, Olbermann Returns

I read that without the comma and my first thought was "Olbermann must be worse than I thought.:

[Really?]

NOW GO FORTH OLBER-MANN...AND SLAUGHTER!

[Warty]

Inside Every Leftist Is a Little Authoritarian Dying to Get Out

But you all knew that already.

[????? ??????]

Thanks

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