Sex

Berlusconi: A Good Ally, a "Fine Leader," Possible Underage Prostitute Patron, and Definite Humper of Meter Maids

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Yup, not only is the world stranger than imagined, it's stranger than we can imagine.

From Human Events comes this very special episode of "Rock Solid" with Michigan Republican Rep. Thaddeus McCotter, who has many kind things to say about embattled (read: monkey-gland-shot-addicted) Italian leader Silvio Berlusconi. McCotter agrees with the interviewer that Berlusconi has been a great ally and admirer of the U.S. and hopes that the charges about Il Cavaliere consorting with an underage prostitute prove untrue. Because, you see, Berlusconi, is a "fine leader." Which is kind of a weird thing to say about a guy who has had a ton of criminal charges thrown at him and at least one conviction, and whom the Economist called "unfit" for office. And who did this to a meter maid:

To paraphrase Hank Hill, that guy ain't right, whether he's pro American or not.

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  1. Wow. He’d be in jail in this country.

    1. or, have his own reality TV show

    2. When did Benny Hill become the PM of Italy?

  2. I wish he was president instead of whatshisname.

  3. Let he among you who has never humped a meter maid throw the first stone.

    Oh, wait… I’ve never humped a meter maid! Can I use a brick?

    -jcr

    1. One of my all-time favorite one-night stands was, no joke, humping a meter maid who had given me a ticket that morning.

        1. I’d bow down and call him a god if it was DURING sex!

          1. Old salt, you do realize you have to pay fines? Then maybe that’s your thing 😉

            1. Hmmm…would paying the fine technically make her a prostitute and me her john?

              1. She’s a public official, ergo, paying her would be bribing a politician. You’d be the lobbyist whore 🙂

                1. If she’s cute enough, she can call me whatever dirty names that get her off!

                  I would have to draw the line at being called a lobbyist or special interest group!

                  1. Can she call you a democrat then?

                    1. NOT UNLESS I’M BUTT FUCKING HER!

                    2. Hmm, is she uses a strap-on, I guess that makes you republican. 🙂

                    3. If she was hot enough to bullshit me into such an act, then, yes, calling me a republican would be reasonable…but then she better be ready for the “Mike Tyson Donkey Punch” in return!

                      Here’s the $64,000 question: what unspeakable act would I have to force her to do in order for her to call me a libertarian?

                    4. Well, you know I think libertarians are full of shit

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDkFcxwDejE

                    5. Awww, man!

                      I was hoping for an S&M comment or something about tentacle porn!

                    6. lol-depends who does it to you, and your fine. Have you ever heard you CAN get blood from your stones?

                    7. Last time I got blood from my stones, a trip to the STD clinic was involved!

                      It was my fault though, Austin Powers said that filthy beggars like me should wear condoms since we go from port to port!

                    8. I like to keep a man in every port too

                    9. She USED to be a man!

                      Don’t you watch Maury?

                    10. lol….Of course, it is difficult to find Siamese twins

                    11. No, it’s difficult to FUCK Siamese twins!

                      NOT because of the logistics involved but because it involves TWICE the usual amount of lying and I’m just too lazy to put that much effort into a single/shared vagina!

                    12. I was speaking of male Siamese twins for my ports!

                    13. That sounds…rough, to say the least!

                      Now, if you could find me Siamese Twins who use to be men, then we’re in business!

                      And I mean business both literally AND figuratively!

                      Could you just imagine the money to be made from the talk show circuit?!?

                    14. you lack creative juices!

                      Siamese twins who were both male but one had a sex change and insist on wearing high heels!

                    15. STILL too much effort to lie my way into them!

                    16. milk enemas

  4. The thing I like about Berlusconi is that he’s a complete joke. All world “leaders” are, but with Berlusconi it’s just plainly obvious.

    1. Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?

      1. You’re whatever you say you are, Bill! Want a cigar?

        1. How would you like a free trip to Libya?

          1. Why ya’ gotta bust balls?

  5. Seriously guys, if you’d ever had a of hookers and blow with Berlusconi as your host, you’d all love him like I do. Don’t try to pretend you wouldn’t!

    Love,

    Thad.

  6. Yet more evidence:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42…..ess-autos/

    1. Those aren’t meter maids.

      1. yet more porn i jerk-off to evidence:

          1. I hope your mother doesn’t catch you doing that OTHER THING with your OTHER hand.

            1. when you can type with tho hands 😉

                1. He’s a peeping tom!

                    1. One of these kids JUMPED in front of my car again!

                    2. Are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me? …

                    3. Think, McFly! THINK!

                    4. “Get you meat hooks off of me.”

                    5. THIS AIN’T NO PEEP SHOW!

                    6. Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take Lorraine out that he’d melt my brain.

                    7. Is anyone else bother by the fact that George allows his wife’s rapist into her home?

                      For that matter, why is George still married to a woman who gave birth to a son who looks EXACTLY like her old high school boyfriend?

                      I think that George McFly is a VERY kinky motherfucker!

                    8. Hmm, I never thought of it that way but I love movie bloopers
                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irxkTNAEPrI

                    9. Actually, I was paraphrasing an “Agents of Cracked” sketch…

                    10. Never seen it-boy show

                2. ::makes ambiguous gesture::

          2. Dude, WTF is wrong with you?

            Seriously.

  7. I gave this money so she could avoid any need to prostitute herself

    Is “Capo Salvo-Una-Ho” a legal defense in Italy?

    1. Yes, of course. It’s Italy.

  8. Meter maids are part of the plague of cops and supervisors and power junkies we suffer under, worldwide. Give Berlusconi a pass on that one – a blow ( so to speak) for liberty.

  9. Eh, it’s Italy. That’s like giving a thumbs-up here.

    To put things in perspective, remember the descendants of the more pioneering, ambitious Italians can be seen on Jersey Shore.

    1. Thumbs up the butt?

    2. Judge Nap?

  10. I don’t get it. While she wasn’t good looking, that appeared to be a woman bent over a car. Aren’t you supposed to walk over and dry hump them when they do that?

    1. No. Proper Italian etiquette calls for a pinch on the ass.

  11. I’LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES!

    1. All that chaffing must hurt like a motherfucker!

    2. Baby wants to fuck! Baby wants to fuck Velluto Blu!

  12. Sonnawabitch he might be, but I’ll take him over a socialist any time.

  13. I actually have more respect for him after watching that video.

    1. At least he’s honest. What you see is what you get.

      1. There’s something to be said for this kind of open, brazen honestly. Compare this to Eliot Spitzer… the poor, persecuted guy.

      2. With other Italian politicians it always takes some time before you know they’re corrupt as well. So why bother voting for them if Silvio already gives you the real deal. No more disappointment in voting!

  14. What isn’t obvious here is that Mr. B. is just coming out of traffic court & is simply expressing his view of how the judge there treated him.

  15. This is a great article on Berlusconi. The facts that his party’s theme song is “thank god for berlusconi” and that he has his women listen to it before sex are awesome.

  16. Oh yeah, and his estranged wife was in the great Argento film Tenebre.

    1. Who, Eva Robin’s?

      OH SNAP

      1. Have you seen Mascara? It’s a little different …

        1. You’ve asked me that before. I don’t think I have, but I’ve forgotten more movies than I care to count.

          Besides, the best actor in Tenebre was the dog. I still want to know how they got it to do that shit. Well, of course not better than John Saxon, but you know what I mean.

  17. I haven’t had sex in a very, very long time. Just that humping movement reminded me of the URGE. The URGE. URGE. URGE. UR–

    1. Oh, for fuck’s sake!

      I JUST MOPPED THAT FLOOR!

  18. Hey you jag-offs, you might want to run a response piece to this little bit of “investigative journalism” done by The Nation on the Koch’s: http://www.thenation.com/artic…..ntrol-koch

    Get on the ball Reason.

    1. As secretary treasurer (or whatever my title is) for the corporation I work for I would like to advise you all to vote libertarian this November.

      This message has been brought to you by the Citizens United Supreme Court decision..

    2. From the Nation article:

      According to most historians, the Harding and Coolidge administrations’ free-market romp was one of the key factors that led to the Great Depression.

      Interesting, since the line before this was about how they thought Herbert Hoover was the worst President in US history.

      Their time in office was marked by obscene corruption, racial violence, unionbusting, feudal wealth inequalities and, shortly thereafter, the total collapse of the American economy.

      And this follows… why, exactly? Was racial violence solved under Herbert Hoover or FDR? Maybe those good douches can talk about how Wilson was so tolerant. Also, the economy remained “collapsed” under 2 years of Hoover and 10 years of FDR.

      That’s some gooood confirmation bias.

      1. But I can fix the economy through GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD! GOLD IS THE ANSWER!

        GOLD! Yes, yes sir! Ehehe GOOLD!

    3. They can even intimidate their employees into voting for their candidates.” Secunda adds, “It’s a very troubling situation.”

      We have secret ballots, idiot.

    4. this little bit of “investigative journalism” done by The Nation on the Koch’s

      On the Koch’s what? I don’t feel like going over to The Nation to find out.

  19. Berlusconi is certainly corrupt and has some very dubious business practices.

    However if his only sin were his insatiable sex appetite, it would actually not be too bad a thing, at least he would not be screwing up the country if he were spending all his time screwing all those women.

    Strangely enough, for those that follow Italian politics will know that the number of Italian governments in Italy since WW2 is a big number. Berlusconi is one of the most stable and longest living political leaders.

  20. A politician that abuses public servants…

    Am i evil because i did not immediately find what he did in that video repugnant?

    1. You are so evil, that you will enter the deepest levels of Hell. You have violated the first Feminist commandment, and there is no way you can ever absolve yourself from that crime.

      1. fuck off spoof

        My new post on politicians and big business

        http://rctlfy.wordpress.com/20…..e-trusted/

  21. whom the Economist called “unfit” for office

    Wow! From the august authority of the Economist! Could anything be more damning? The cad!

    *snicker*

  22. Gary Johnson doesn’t believe in GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD like me!

    And now, a reading from the book of Von Mises:

    When GOOOOOLLLLLDDDDD is standard across the plain/
    there again a GOOOOLLLLLDEEENNNN age will reign.

  23. The Berlusconi video needs a soundtrack.

  24. OT: Could a devalued dollar and unrest in oil-producing countries be having an affect on the price of oil? Nah, it’s obviously the fault of those evil speculators! I really hope they aren’t dumb enough to attempt price controls…

    1. The dollar is at the end of its rope as a reserve currency.

      Within 10-20 years, the RMB will be the new standard, with the Euro as a secondary choice.

      The dollar will be toilet paper.

      1. DUDE!

        Drive to your local China Town, find a “massage” parlor, and order the “Shanghai Surprise” so you can get over your rice fever!

        I’m starting to think that the only reason you keep creaming your silkies over China is because you’re secretly hoping that if China is #1 then that will mean that there will more Chinese Panties to lie your way into!

        I know that’s the reason why I wanted Japan to take over back in the 80’s!

        1. Run along and play video games, “Bob”, the adults are talking.

          1. You don’t understand, PEOPLE DIED TO GET THAT HIGH SCORE!

            That being said; WAAAHHH!!! CHINA!!! WAAAHHH!!!

            When the majority of their country starts to have a better standard of living than your average West Virginian waitress, then and only then will I concern myself with their currency!

            When you have states that are worth more than a third of the countries on the planet, you don’t worry about if some pseudo-commies make a shit load of money from manufacturing cheap trinkets that will mostly end up in garbage cans!

            Besides, there’s a lot more people running from China than into it! Considering that most of China’s citizens are farmers or factory workers, I’m more worried about another “people’s” revolution breaking out then anything else! Lots of China’s ethnic groups don’t get along and making nice with each is something that they historically don’t do for very long!

            Put down the TIME magazine and turn off Glen Beck!

    2. And where are the investigations when traders and speculators drive the price down?!?!?!?

  25. He may be a lot of things, but he didn’t hump that meter maid: http://wonkette.com/163992/sil…..raffic-cop

    1. Oh, come on! Why let the facts get in the way of such a wonderful propaganda opportunity?

      The bottom line is, Reason, The Economist, et al, hate Berlusconi for being a patriot. Whatever else you can say about the man, his primary concern is Italy and the Italian people, and if that conflicts with the globalist open-borders agenda of our Enlightened Cosmopolitans?, Berlusconi gives not a rat’s ass. That won’t make him any friends around here. If I was a voter in Italy, I’d certainly vote for Berlusconi a lot sooner than I’d vote for the editorial staffs of Reason or The Economist.

    1. I’m not sure how I feel about another man admiring my wood!

      1. Spoof, obviously.

        Looks like I’ve really touched a nerve at this blog.Remember–imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

        1. Parody is not, however.

  26. In 1982, the United States Mint began minting pennies coated in copper but made primarily of zinc. With the new zinc pennies, there is the potential for zinc toxicosis, which can be fatal. One reported case of chronic ingestion of 425 pennies (over 1 kg of zinc) resulted in death due to gastrointestinal bacterial and fungal sepsis, while another patient, who ingested 12 grams of zinc, only showed lethargy and ataxia (gross lack of coordination of muscle movements). Several other cases have been reported of humans suffering zinc intoxication by the ingestion of zinc coins.

    Pennies and other small coins are sometimes ingested by dogs, resulting in the need for medical treatment to remove the foreign body. The zinc content of some coins can cause zinc toxicity, which is commonly fatal in dogs, where it causes a severe hemolytic anemia, and also liver or kidney damage; vomiting and diarrhea are possible symptoms. Zinc is highly toxic in parrots and poisoning can often be fatal. The consumption of fruit juices stored in galvanized cans has resulted in mass parrot poisonings with zinc.

  27. So remember, kids, don’t eat your spare change. Especially not two pounds of it.

    1. I get it now, he was just trying to find the old coin slot!

  28. Not one fucking Sgt Pepper comment???

    1. No, but the second time I watched this my iPod randomized to Nicki French’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and then the clip took on a whole new meaning!

  29. They all have their “reasons” for doing what they did, right or wrong. They will either learn from it or be miserable the rest of their lives trying to make everyone else miserable.

  30. I like how European politics are really abysmal, but they spend all their time over there ultra-fapping to the thought of just how terrible OURS are. Oh, well. You show ’em, Silvio!

  31. If Bill Clinton had been accused of the exact same things he would automatically be guilty until proven innocent in the eyes of someone like Rep. McCotter.

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