Reason Morning Links: Iran Active in Mideast Protests, Drone Strike in Pakistan, Bonds Convicted

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  1. Something something Golden Girls

  2. Whoa! Morning Links are up and at ’em early today!

    1. Yeah, first that weird “Good Morning, Reason” person bails on us and then they start posting morning links at 0700. It’s all so disorienting.

      1. ….epi is POTUS

        1. Suki disappeared about the same time they switched John’s meds. Funny coincidence.

          1. In this alternate universe, Suki is is in the final negotiations of an Arab-Swiss peace accord but the Swiss keep yodeling battle cries as they descend the Matterhorn on their wooly mammoths

    2. Did anyone else see that headline and think of Heinlein’s “The Roads Must Roll”?

  3. What, no fucking bagels. I’m outta here.

      1. Would you like one?

  4. Iran: U.S. is actively participating in, influencing Mideast protests

    1. Please. The only protests influenced by the US gummint are the Tea Party rallies.

    2. The evidence against that claim is the effectiveness of the protests.

  5. Did Florida Video Website Pay Homeless Men to Get Beat Up by Women?
    A series of videos that allegedly feature scantily clad women beating up homeless men in Florida has led to an investigation by local law enforcement and a lawsuit filed by the Southern Legal Counsel on behalf of the transient men….

    Scientists and Journalists Still Obsessed With Duck Sex

    1. I didn’t know bum beating porn was illegal.

    2. I can’t get off on naked-chicks-beating-bum porn unless they set them on fire.

    3. a dollar earned is a still a dollar

    4. Duck sex is pretty weird.

    1. Beat me to it Johnny. Alkon’s eviceration of that guy is awesome.

      1. Alkon is a rough stuff. I just finished her book, “I see Rude People” and I’ll tell ya, that chick is a bulldog that takes no fucking prisoners.

        1. I know I love it. She is not that good looking but her bulldog qualities make her sexy in her own way.

          1. Hot chicks whomping hobo porn? Bulldog women are sexy?

            John, this morning thread is getting way too personal.

    2. that’s some vile stuff. And the connection to the Golden Girls is?

      1. It’s all connected my friend. The Golden Girls, anon bot worship, random [square] brackets in posts, it’s all connected.

        1. Glenn Beck was on to it and you see what happened to his show.

    3. Whoa

      I feel dirty after watching that. I must go douche.

  6. International Study on StillBirths Released

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ml?hpid=z3

    The global rate is 19 deaths per 1,000 births. Finland and Singapore have the lowest stillbirth rates, two per 1,000. Pakistan and Nigeria have the highest, at 46 and 42 per 1,000. The United States ranks 17th out of 193 countries, with three per 1,000.

    1. Does Finland even have a 1,000 births a year to non-immigrant citizens?

      or

      Can you imagine how stiff the fine for having a stillbirth is in Singapore?

      1. I think you are confusing Finland with Sweden

        1. They all look alike to me.

          1. Italian seducer, “You finish?”

            Blond hitchhiker, “No, I Swedish.”

      2. Finland actually has one of the lowest immigrant populations in Europe, because of the %@$! difficulty of the Finnish language. It’s something like 4% of the population, with the two largest immigrant groups being from Russia and Estonia. (Estonian is the one language that’s close to Finnish.)

        1. Actually, Hungarian is related to Finnish too.

    2. but MNG that isn’t possible because we have the best health care system in the world!

      1. We have a bad healthcare system!

      2. Re: rather,

        but MNG that isn’t possible because we have the best health care system in the world!

        Read the graphic:

        http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..aphic.html

        US: 3 stillbirths per 1000
        Finland: 2 stillbirths in 1000

        US ranks 17th because of decimals, but children are not born as a decimal. Besides this, the US is a fucking BIG country with a very heterogeneous population, unlike Finland or Singapore.

        Factor in also birth rates, and you will see why there are more stillbirths in the US:

        US: 14 per 1000
        Finland: 10.38 per 1000
        Singapore: 8.82 per 1000

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L…..birth_rate

        If you have lots of cars driving in a street, there’s a bigger chance of a collision than if you have many less cars. Same shit with stillbirths: If you have a higher birthrate (meaning, more women giving birth,) you are BOUND to have more stillbirths, as giving birth is not an easy process.

        So, factor in birthrate to ponder the percentage:

        ((14 – 3)/14)-1 = 21.43%
        ((10.38 – 2)/10.38)-1 = 19.27%
        ((8.82-2)/8.82)-1= 22.67%

        From these results, you can see that the LIKELYNESS of having a stillbirth is pretty much the same between the three countries. There’s NOTHING special about childbirth in either the US or Finland or Singapore. The ONLY difference is in BIRTHRATES, which are higher in the US than either Singapore or Finland.

        1. Isn’t that statistic the ratio of still births to live births?

          Not still births to population.

          1. Re JoshINHB,

            Isn’t that statistic the ratio of still births to live births?

            Yep, I see. Sorry about that, you’re right.

            The point remains that there’s nothing strange about the US having 3/1000 stillbirths compared to other countries since the US has a higher birth rate. More babies born, more likely a few will be stillborn, especially when risks factors are higher: genetic anormalities (more likely in a heterogeneous population,) drug addiction, infectious diseases, you name it.

            1. Genetic abnormalities are more common in a homogenous population.

              They probably are not a big contributing factor in this case though. Mutations that lead to stillbirth are probably more likely to arise de novo rather than be inherited (since such mutations are obviously detrimental to survival, there is a strong selective pressure against their persistence in a population).

          2. JoshINHB, don’t let the details get in the way of the libertarian message!

            1. Re: rather,
              Wow, nice comeback there, rather…

              Shit.

              1. good morning to you too! Checked my blog yet?

                1. Re: rather,

                  good morning to you too! Checked my blog yet?

                  Yes, and I have to be honest enough to say, it does not stink. I did like it.

                  1. OM, this remark is equivalent to hiding a jew in your attic. At the very least, someone will show up for your decoder ring, and because they are libertarian: all of your dope!

                    I promise to publish your diary!

  7. Since Balko didn’t repost it here:

    Chicks With Steve Buscemeyes

    1. I think they accidentally got a Steve Buscemi with Nicki Minajlips in there.

    2. Behold the glory of Rule 34. And the iron will of Rule 35.

    3. Man, every so often a link gets posted that I really wish wasn’t web-filtered at work.

      Just letting me know the word Buscemeyes exists proves this is a worthy link.

      1. Didn’t that used to be Marty Feldmen eyes?

        I recall a Weird Al take off of Betty Davis eyes.

  8. Maine Governor vs. Labor Mural

    Completed in 2008 for a $60,000 commission, the mural seemed safely out of the political fray. But in 2010, Republicans swept into power, and organized labor became a preferred target of conservative governors nationwide. The result: The mural is now dripping with unintended political symbolism that ? for LePage’s political enemies and even some of his allies ? has become a vivid illustration of the flaws of the governor who tore it down.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ml?hpid=z9

    1. Yeah…The mural looks nothing at all like these:

      http://wildorphans.files.wordp…..osters.jpg

      http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Cijc…..poster.jpg

      1. I can’t understand why LePage would have a problem with it. It looks like an accurate representation of labor unions in America: a lot of standing around, exploitation of children during protests to garner sympathy, women sobbing because their drunken laborer husband pissed away the food money again and students standing around and protesting an issue they know nothing about in an attempt to get laid.

        If anything, the Governor should be lauding the accuracy portrayed by Ms. Taylor.

        1. +1

    2. Someone actually paid $60,000 for that piece of crap?

      WTF.

      1. Uh, we did. You know, the taxpayers.

  9. Roger Simon today on Obama

    But what is it about Obama that makes him so boring? I submit it is something quite simple ? he has nothing to say. He is a boring person, the quintessential “hollow man” in the T.S. Eliot sense. He is kind of a socialist, kind of a liberal, kind of a multi-culturalist, kind of an environmentalist, kind of globalist, kind of a budget cutter ? but none of them with any real commitment. Basically, he’s a vague and uncommitted person pretending to be otherwise. He is the man that voted “present,” now in the presidency. The fact that he never specified the targets of “hope” and “change” during his election was far from a campaign ploy and more typical than we ever dreamed. There never was a there there. And now, I strongly suspect, there never will be.

    We saw that writ large Tuesday in his dull budget speech ? so devoid of detail and lacking in anything remotely original or surprising. Despite the titanic deficit crisis, it seemed almost phoned in. (No wonder Biden went to sleep.) But that has been the hallmark of Obama’s administration, disengagement and ennui. Even his signature legislation, the healthcare bill nobody read and nobody wants, reeks of alienation.

    We have elected our own Joseph K., except he has nowhere near Kafka’s brilliance, nor the Czech’s dark humor.

    http://pajamasmedia.com/rogerl…..nt-boring/

    1. If he could at least be a hollow man in the Kevin Bacon sense it would be interesting.

      1. you mean he’s not black at all, he’s transparent!?

        1. Well, he promised more transparency in government. This must be what he meant.

    2. so devoid of detail and lacking in anything remotely original or surprising.

      Moreover, his insipid platitudes are getting worse: “Doing nothing on the deficit is not an option.” “I believe we must come together again.”

      1. come together, right now, over me

        1. Was Lennon into bukkake?

          Now you know the answer.

    3. The WSJ was not impressed:

      The Presidential Divider
      Obama’s toxic speech and even worse plan for deficits and debt..

      Did someone move the 2012 election to June 1? We ask because President Obama’s extraordinary response to Paul Ryan’s budget yesterday?with its blistering partisanship and multiple distortions?was the kind Presidents usually outsource to some junior lieutenant. Mr. Obama’s fundamentally political document would have been unusual even for a Vice President in the fervor of a campaign.

      The immediate political goal was to inoculate the White House from criticism that it is not serious about the fiscal crisis, after ignoring its own deficit commission last year and tossing off a $3.73 trillion budget in February that increased spending amid a record deficit of $1.65 trillion. Mr. Obama was chased to George Washington University yesterday because Mr. Ryan and the Republicans outflanked him on fiscal discipline and are now setting the national political agenda.

      Mr. Obama did not deign to propose an alternative to rival Mr. Ryan’s plan, even as he categorically rejected all its reform ideas, repeatedly vilifying them as essentially un-American. “Their vision is less about reducing the deficit than it is about changing the basic social compact in America,” he said, supposedly pitting “children with autism or Down’s syndrome” against “every millionaire and billionaire in our society.” The President was not attempting to join the debate Mr. Ryan has started, but to close it off just as it begins and banish House GOP ideas to political Siberia.

      Mr. Obama then packaged his poison in the rhetoric of bipartisanship?which “starts,” he said, “by being honest about what’s causing our deficit.” The speech he chose to deliver was dishonest even by modern political standards.

      ***
      The great political challenge of the moment is how to update the 20th-century entitlement state so that it is affordable. With incremental change, Mr. Ryan is trying maintain a social safety net and the economic growth necessary to finance it. Mr. Obama presented what some might call the false choice of merely preserving the government we have with no realistic plan for doing so, aside from proposing $4 trillion in phantom deficit reduction over a gimmicky 12-year budget window that makes that reduction seem larger than it would be over the normal 10-year window

      Mr. Obama said that the typical political proposal to rationalize Medicare’s gargantuan liabilities is that it is “just a matter of eliminating waste and abuse.” His own plan is to double down on the program’s price controls and central planning. All Medicare decisions will be turned over to and routed through an unelected commission created by ObamaCare?which will supposedly ferret out “unnecessary spending.” Is that the same as “waste and abuse”?

      http://online.wsj.com/article/…..on_LEADTop

  10. http://www.nationaljournal.com…..e-20110413

    Patriotic millionaires tell other people to pay more taxes.

    1. If they are so in favor of taxes they can pay my taxes for me, and throw in a couple of million on top of that for good measure.

    2. I love how the progressives socialists have conflated patriotism with paying taxes.

      And no one is challenging them on it.

      1. John and DJF are no one?

      2. Come on, you don’t thing the Rs would call you unpatriotic if you wanted to defund the military? Certainly they will call you unpatriotic for not supporting war. Where do they think that money comes from?

    3. How do these people get engineering jobs at Google? They must work in the division partnered w/ the NSA.

    4. Citizens who wish to make a general donation to the U.S. government may send contributions to a specific account called “Gifts to the United States.”

      Gifts to the United States
      U.S. Department of the Treasury
      Credit Accounting Branch
      3700 East-West Highway, Room 6D37
      Hyattsville, MD 20782

  11. omg! omg! omg!

    if catfucker, doggie sanchez Santorum runs for prez, we can have second round of “salty ham tears”.

    but we’d have to do a family collage. Boy in rubber room, girl on the lam, suspected of that ax murder. Wife living in “sin” with a meletary loier.

    it’s great stuff!

    1. *GinSlinger likes this*

      1. Never Forget.
        https://reason.com/blog/2006/11…..mmy-and-sw

        1. That one is only marginally scarier than the Huckabee one: http://farm3.static.flickr.com…..a59368.jpg

          1. The one on the left frightens me. He looks hungry.

            1. The sanest looking one is in the woman’s lap….and he looks like he might be rabid.

          2. Wow. That family won’t fit the stereotypes of Americans in the eyes of foreigners…

  12. Gallup: Obama’s Approval Drops Below 50 Percent Among Poorest Americans; No Longer Enjoys Majority Approval In Any Income Class

    http://www.cnsnews.com/news/ar…..below-50-p

  13. I don’t know what to say.

    Black Glo. Twp. worker locked in cage, taunted by white co-workers files suit

    Steven Brodie Jr. contends officials repeatedly ignored alleged incidents involving Michael Dorazo Jr. and David Pomianek, because Dorazo’s mother sat on the town’s Human Relations Commission.

    1. You say your name is “Toby” and not “Kunta Kintae.”

      1. What the fuck is wrong with people? This guy obviously wasn’t smart enough, or skilled enough to get a real job, so his mommy had to get him a civil service job, and then protect him when he did stupid shit. But that’s what government, in general, does. Perhaps, these people need to spend a little time in Camden County Jail, with some of the other “banana eating monkeys”.

        1. I’m offended.

          1. Live Free or Fling Poo.

            1. Tautological?

    2. “because [the racist fucker]’s mother sat on the town’s Human Relations Commission”

      For some reason I’m reminded on the UN.

  14. IRS to Increase ‘Pre-Crime’ Enforcement
    …In remarks to the National Press Club last week, an IRS spokesman unveiled the agency’s vision for the “look forward” model in which most of the pertinent reporting information for the average taxpayer (W2, 1099, mortgage interest etc.) would be submitted to the IRS well in advance of the individual deadline.

    After a massive upgrade in technology, the IRS would be able to pre-calculate what it expects to receive in taxes and instantly reject any return that doesn’t comply with its determination….

    1. [FTL] Rather than making things easier, less painful, friendlier, and simpler, the US government seems to be taking the opposite approach? hiring more agents to sniff out ‘suspicious’ activity (defined in their sole discretion), raising taxes, and relying on fear and intimidation. I suspect this path will have the opposite effect? instead of raising more money for a bankrupt government, it will continue to chase out productive people.

      If the government *must* do these things, the rejection should go the other way: give *the taxpayer* the option of paying the “pre-calculated” amount or submitting their own return.

    2. The upshot from this should be fewer audits and faster return checks. And if we’re going to be stuck paying an income tax, we might as well make it as efficient as possible, for everyone involved.

      Of course, all of this could be avoided with a flat 20% tax and a single $10k deduction per person in a household. But that would be too easy, wouldn’t it?

      1. How can you be so racist this early in the morning?

        1. It’s cause I drink black coffee.

    3. I thought you guys wanted to cut the deficit.

      1. Re: Hobie Hanson,

        I thought you guys wanted to cut the deficit.

        I thought you wanted to have a brain.

    4. After a massive upgrade in technology, the IRS would be able to pre-calculate what it expects to receive in taxes and instantly reject any return that doesn’t comply with its determination.

      At this point – I mean, for now, anyway – aren’t there still more of us than there are of them?

      I mean, if, say, half a million or a million taxpayers simply said “fuck you” to the IRS and refused to file, what are they going to do? Better yet – have 10 million taxpayers do it. Or file, but include just enough “honest mistakes” on the returns that they all get rejected for a do-over.

      I mean, this really is just getting stupid. Let there be no doubt that we need to abolish the current IRS, and the current Internal Revenue Code and start over.

      I mean, I fully understand that the federal government does, in fact, have certain legitimate purposes, and it has to get the funds for those purposes somehow, and taxing the population who benefits from the federal government exercising its legitimate purposes seems about the right way to do it. And as far as that goes, I have no problem paying reasonable and fair taxes to do my part. But (1) the current fed gov has gone way, way, way beyond anything it ever was meant to do and I’m convinced that probably at least half of current spending could and should be eliminated and (2) there simply has to be a better, simpler and fairer way to impose and collect the tax.

      1. Ok BSR, maybe you should just amble on over to the Group W bench and have a seat with the father rapers….

        1. I mean … I mean … I mean …. you want to know if I’m moral enough join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after being a litterbug.

        2. They already have the 8×10 glossys.

  15. Pakistan condemns latest CIA drone attack.

    I had been growing skeptical of drone attacks. But Pakistan’s protestations are making me think perhaps they are killing the right people.

    1. And to think we talked the Indians out of nuking them. That’s gratitude.

    2. These drone attacks are an outrage. I can’t wait until Bush is no longer in the Whi….

      Oh, never mind.

      1. Poor Tony spoof – it implies he would ever be able to recognize that irony.

  16. Let me be clear. We in Washington need that money. So you are going to have to fork it over.

    http://danieljmitchell.wordpre…..overspend/

  17. Remember how the US turned Libya “no fly zone” over to NATO. Surprise, surprise, NATO once again can’t do anything without the US.

    “””””US doing limited strikes for NATO in Libya.””””

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_us_libya

    1. War is Hard.

  18. Evan Emory convicted of felony, gets 60 days in jail

    “It was lewd, it was disgusting and it was perverted,” Hellman said of the video. “You are an adult. You knew better. … You hurt everyone in that community, not just those little kids. You had no sense of morals or judgment. If it was up to me, I’d send you to a military to learn that. You do need psychiatric help. What you did was very, very wrong.”

    1. “You’re a nutjob who is willing to hurt children. You belong in the military”.

      Did I misread anything?

      1. Good enough for Nidal Malik Hasan, good enough for this guy.

      2. Re: Johnny Longtorso,

        You’re a nutjob who is willing to hurt children. You belong in the military[…]Did I misread anything?

        Isn’t that the required profile?

        1. Yes.

    2. He also prohibited Emory from posting the video in question on the Internet or doing live performances of the song in question and said the YouTube video in question is now considered “contraband.”

      did I read that right? Is the judge seriously preventing him from doing something that is patently NOT illegal?

      People are so full of their own bullshit, they can’t stand to be embarassed by their own mistakes and use the justice system to uphold their idiocy.

      Its disgusting.

      1. The wonders of elected judges.

    3. Marietti said had Emory had children of his own, he likely wouldn’t have made the video at all.

      “Mr. Emory, you are not a parent and if you were, you would have never engaged yourself in this type of behavior. Those of us who are parents take a very dim view of this behavior. I suspect those who aren’t, don’t find this to be a big deal,” the judge said.

      Has this judge been hanging out with my mom? In any case, it’s interesting that he finds it OK to impose his parental values on the rest of us who aren’t.

      Too bad you can’t appeal a plea bargain, which is probably why the judge felt so free to grandstand.

    4. You know what’s funny about the article? It never mentions what crime he committed or law he broke. Apparently “lack of remorse” is a felony in Michigan.

      1. Or misrepresenting your intentions to a school. Is that a felony now?

    5. he and his lawyer are retards for going with a plea bargain. Congrats, you’re now a felon dipshit.

      1. Sadly, I think they got a good deal. Based on the reported facts, he could have been convicted of a trespass under false pretenses type charge. While usually such cases don’t carry a big sentence unless there is property damage, they usually don’t have crying kids and parents submitting victim statements calling you a horrible lunatic. He could have caught a much worse sentence that way.

        1. Is trespass under false pretense a felony? The agreement looks pretty onerous and expensive, though probably not as expensive as going to trial and then appeal. Ridiculous. Did the ACLU bother to get involved?

    6. Does the article even say what he was convicted of?
      THis is fucking nuts. How does anyone figure that he harmed any children or anyone else? The only thing he did wrong was to misrepresent why he wanted to perform at the school. Otherwise, what he did was no different from taking an already existing video of some kids and inserting some dirty audio. I can’t see how that is not protected speech.

  19. http://www.seattlepi.com/news/…..331408.php

    Indonesian parliament member from Prosperous Justice Party (PKS) Arifinto watches a porn video on his tablet computer. The conservative lawmaker who helped pass a controversial anti-pornography law resigned Monday, April 11, 2011 after he was caught watching explicit videos on his computer during a parliamentary session

    1. Well, that explains why he needed to have it banned. If you can’t stop watching in the middle of a crowded parliamentary session, you’ve definitely got issues…

    1. My question about that whole thing is how a bunch of rich white kids could only manage to hire the skankiest of crack whores to be a stripper at their party. I mean really, this was the best they could do?

      1. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

        1. Even the ghetto has better strippers than that.

          1. Affirmative action, then?

          2. S. Broad Street in Philly has better TVs than that.

      2. Re: John,

        I mean really, this was the best they could do?

        I heard she was passing discount coupons at the local Stop N Go…

        1. I am Mr Middle Aged White Suburban and even I could hire a decent stripper for a party if I had to. Really, were those kids retarded or something?

          1. They were college kids. Even though their parents were rich, they were probably broke college kids. What were they going to do? Ask Mommy and Daddy for money to hire a stripper? Any money for a stripper came out of their beer money, I’m sure.

            1. They were on scholarship and rich as hell. I gaurentee you they got an allowance every month.

              1. Sure, but it still cut into their beer money.

                Then again, maybe they wanted the cheapest, skankiest pig they could find.

                1. Having attended both Duke and UNC, I can attest to the fact that skanky strippers often run scams on fraternities in the area. There are not a lot of nudie establishments in the area and students are transient and young and mostly cannot enter a nudie bar, so they don’t know the ropes.

                  When I was a freshmen word spread rapidly during rush week that one frat was going to have a stripper and that she was going to get down and dirty with a banana. Needless to say, their party was well attended.

                  The probable heroin addict that came out was a major disappointment, as was her bikini. Her “promoter” kept prompting everyone to pony up tips so she’d get undressed. After a bunch of ones hit the stage and no panties hit the floor, the crowd got pretty unruly and they left. And we all learned a lesson about marketing and capitalism. You’d think that “magic X-ray glasses” would have taught that lesson, but it took a few years to sink in…

                  1. And you would think word would get out “don’t hire a stipper in Durham”.

          2. I don’t think lacrosse requires the intellect of chess boxing.

          3. Re: John,

            Really, were those kids retarded or something?

            Maybe they were trying something more kinky… got instead something tacky, and ended up in a sticky situation for it.

          4. Really, were those kids retarded or something?

            They chose to go to Duke. So, yes.

    2. The Duke88 will be so proud.

    3. Soon to be the second most famous inmate in the NCDOC (after Ray Carruth).

    4. The typo is understandable, but amusingly her name is actually “Mangum.”

    1. I love how effortlessly the Left changes position. In August of 2009 “death panels” were a horrible vicious lie spread by the evil Sarah Palin. Now the position is “of course there will be such panels”.

      1. They are going to be called “Life Panels” – they decide who gets to live.

        1. Dear Mr Coyote:
          The health assurance authority has determined that extended care and hospice for your grandfather’s illness will be in excess of $100,000. If however, he elects to choose humane release by “signing” the enclosed form, not only will his suffering be averted but we will send you and your family to Disneyland for a week of grief counseling.

          Sincerely, your Government.

        2. In a nod to social conservatives, Obama will re-brand them “Afterlife panels.”

      2. Kinda like “your SSN will never be used as a govt issued ID number”.

        1. Silence 876-87-4387!

          1. HEY!! That’s my number!

            1. She always wondered how it would feel to tell a guy her number.

        2. Or requiring people to show their IDs to get on a plane would never lead to requiring them to be nude scanned or frisked. Never. Only crazy anti government nihlists believe that.

          I am constantly amazed at how easily our expectations change. If I could go back in time and tell people in 1996 what airport security would look like in 2011, they would never believe me.

          1. I watched Wargames last night for the first time in forever. The part where Daniel gets on a plane in Denver and flies to Oregon, without alerting the authorities to his presence, just simply couldn’t happen these days. Pretty sad when a movie plot point from only 24 years ago is now impossible thanks to draconian law enforcement.

            1. Wargames is my favorite ferris bueller movie.

          2. This really surprises you?

            Oh, BTW, your chocolate ration is being reduce from 30 grams to 20 at the end of the week.

            1. Correction: The chocolate ration has always been 20 grammes.

              1. Further correction: Your chocolate ration is being increased from 15 to 20 grammes. Hooray!

    2. I’m seriously trying to figure out “conservatives” like Althouse and Palin and the Tea Party “hands off my Medicare” crowd.

      Do these people really believe there’s an unlimited amount of money available to keep geezers alive?

      Krugnuts may be a fucking hack but here he’s right.

      How about we just abolish fucking Medicare (and Medicaid) and tell the fucking geezers (and everyone else) to pay their own fucking way?

      1. Why should we cut one dollar from medicare or social security until we do some thing about defense and the rest of the spending? Is it really the case that we are going to tell people they can die or they won’t get social security so we can keep the Department Agriculture or stay in Iraq just one more year? Fuck that. Cut everything else first and really reduce the scope of government interference with the economy, see how much money we have, and then talk about entitlements.

        The whole “we have to talk about entitlements first” is just a bunch of horseshit put out by Washington fuckheads who don’t want to see their buddies lose their jobs.

        1. Medicare and Social Security constitute the lion’s share of the debt right now.

          1. Who the fuck cares? Money is fungible. Every dime we spend on HHS having another $115K a year diversity coordinator is one less dime we can spend elsewhere. The go after entitlements first line is just a line of bullshit designed to save the creatures’ in Washinton’s jobs. Fuck that. Sure we will have to cut entitlements eventually. But if we cut the rest of government first, we won’t have to cut them as much.

            1. Why would we not want to cut them as much? They are unconstitutional, they NEED to be cut 100% even if we were running balanced budgets already.

              1. I am more offended by the existence of HHS and Education than I am by the existence of Social Security Rob. If you are not, you are just letting yourself be a shill for the bureaucratic state. Because your line of thinking is how they plan to keep looting the country.

                1. Im not offended by them at all.

                  I find all 3 to be unconstitutional. I really dont care what order they are cut in, but Im not going to defend even the tiniest bit of any of them existing.

              2. I am more offended by the existence of HHS and Education than I am by the existence of Social Security Rob. If you are not, you are just letting yourself be a shill for the bureaucratic state. Because your line of thinking is how they plan to keep looting the country.

            2. ^^THIS

              Obama kept saying the cuts would hurt the poor, the disabled and the elderly. I thought to myself, but I guess they won’t be affecting NASA the DoE, the drug war, etc.

              Obama is a lying piece of shit.

          2. Medicare and Social Security also have their own taxes to pay for themselves. So cut the other crap first, especially defense. There’s no reason in the world we need to spend more than the rest of the world combined.

            1. The trouble with those “their own taxes” that Medicare and Social Security have to pay for themselves is that they’re not high enough to meet even current layouts, let alone future ones.

              As to defense, I would love to see it cut. We could probably cut close to fift percent if we weren’t paying the lion’s share of the expenses for every single defense treaty organization we belong to.

              I’d love to see it cut for two reasons, 1) to reduce my own tax and debt burden and B) to here the weeping and wailing of all the people, both here and in other countries, who love to complain about how militarized the USA is until they want some militarizing done.

        2. Maybe not entitlements first, but they do need to talk about entitlements too. Some kind of means testing for Medicare and SS doesn’t seem too unreasonable. At least stop pretending that they are anything like retirement savings or insurance. There are plenty of rich old people.
          But especially politically, I think you are right. Cuts to entitlements are too universally unpopular since people see them as, well, entitlements.

        3. Why should we cut one dollar from medicare or social security until we do some thing about defense and the rest of the spending?

          So, let’s keep playing a game of chicken with the economy.

        4. Why should we cut one dollar from medicare or social security until we do some thing about defense and the rest of the spending?

          John, if the issue that had been raised was defense, I would have talked about cutting defense. Likewise farm subsidies, education or any other boondoggle you want to mention.

          But, those issues weren’t the one raised here. Medicare was what was raise, so it was Medicare that I addressed.

          And my complaint is basically this. Krugnuts basically said that if you can’t afford to pay for medical care yourself you’re SOL unless your far enough ahead in the queue to get the extremely limited number of dollars that “we” can devote to the care of the needy. That’s how countries with fully socialized medicine handle it, with the added feature in some that even if you can pay you can’t, unless that is you take your money and go to the US or India to do it.

          Althouse and Palin and the Tea Party “hands of my Medicare” crowd have a problem with this, suggesting that they think we have an unlimited number of dollars to devote to these programs (or more likely, they really haven’t thought it through at all).

          So, what do these people want? Do they want a Swedish size welfare state without the Swedish size tax rates, or what? Of course the dirty secret is that the Swedes don’t cover everyone with their welfare state and they got tired enough of their high tax rates that they cut them.

          1. I have to side with Kareel here. John, we’re not going to save America without big cuts to medicare, SS, medicaid. My fear is that we will waste the crisis and not destroy enough.

            *Sweden’s welfare state has been in steady retreat since the Soviet-esque implosion of the early ’90s. Another victory for capitalism.

            1. I understand there’s also something of a backlash among a sizable number of Swedes who have a problem with the number of immigrants getting benefits who don’t look Swedish (if you know what I mean) and don’t have the Swedish work ethic (if you know what I mean).

              The welfare state worked a lot better when everyone was Swedish and a Lutheran.

            2. “”John, we’re not going to save America without big cuts to medicare, SS, medicaid. “”

              I’m pretty sure John knows that, his point is valid. If we are going to start cutting why start with the programs that help other Americans? Why not the programs that help foreigners? He didn’t say where or when to stop cutting and I’m pretty sure entitlements are John’s chopping block too.

              Rs seem to dislike the Mooslims, yet have no problem spending a trillion dollars defending them from themselves. Why? To keep their friends in the defense industry funded.

        5. I’ve become a total “let them eat cake” libertarion asshole, and I still agree with this.

          First eliminate : Dept of Education, Dept of Labor, Dept of Agriculture, Dept of Energy (transfer actual important duties of DOE (~15%) to some other still-standing dept). Then eliminate 50% of all overseas bases, and end all current wars.

          Then we can talk about Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. And I’m still ready to be a cold hearted asshole about those things, but fer chrisakes cut the crap that is an obvious pure deadweight loss first.

          And when it comes time to cut the transfer payments to old people: first means test it, then start raising the retirement age like one month per year, in a non retro-active way.

          1. Add to Ass Cracker’s ideas, removing the cap on income subject to FICA/SSI. Obviously that’s a prelude to just folding the entire thing into the regular income tax structure. Ideally, I’d like to see medicare/medicaid/social security called what it actually is—welfare for old people—and start treating it like welfare: means test it, remove as much of it as possible, etc… Who has their house paid off: young people or old people? Who has stockpiled assets? Who has been voting for these lying bastards for the last 50 years? Etc…

            Pipe dreams, I know. And as far as cutting “discretionary” spending before entitlements, you’re going to need to cut both, so why not start cutting both now? In 2010, per wiki, the budget broke down the following ways:

            19.63% SS
            18.74% DoD
            16.13% Unemployment/Welfare/other “Mandatory spending” (What goes into that pie slice, incidentally?)
            12.79% Medicare
            8.19% Medicaid/CHISP
            4.63% Debt Service (isn’t that number going to look nostalgic real soon?)

            Total: 80.11% Everything else—from the War on Some Drugs, to cowboy poetry, to NOAA, is less than 20%.

            Per wiki, the 2011 budget plans to spend 176% of income; ergo, you have to cut the budget by at least 1/2 in order to start retiring existing debt. You can’t get there without going after entitlements, and you probably can’t get there with politically acceptable cuts to those entitlements.

            Preaching to the choir, I know.

            1. Again, I addressed the issue of Medicare because that’s the issue that was raised in the comment I was responding to.

              Namely, Joh[nn]y Lo[n]gtorso|4.14.11 @ 8:32AM.

              I am sick of hearing this “outrage” against “death panels” from the likes of Althouse and Palin. It demonstrates an extraordinary level of shallow thinking.

              He who pays the doctors gets to decide what the doctors’ will do and gets to decide when it’s a waste of money to keep trying. If you don’t like the government having the power to decide this about your life, don’t rely on the government to pay your medical bills.

              1. And furthermore, quit pretending you’re not on welfare when you collect SS or medicare benefits.

    1. TARP II: Kleptocracy

    2. Please. They’ll just change Basel II. Problem solved.

    3. What can’t be paid back, won’t be paid back… so look for Obama to punt this one until after the next election. Then expect a public-private partnership where the private creditors get all the profit and the public taxpayers get fucked in the ass.

      1. So, basically:

        Pass TARP.
        Wash.
        Rinse.
        Repeat.

    4. We need interest rates to go up dramatically before that to increase the lulz.

  20. reposting because I think I am so darn clever.

    “Balls of Montezuma”:

    Ballistic underwear
    The Marines’ order will cost around $2 million,…

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42…..?GT1=43001

    1. And I will now steal SF’s “Shorts of Tripoli” joke because I suck as a human being.

    2. Teen kills self after accidentally shooting girlfriend
      An 18-year-old trainee gamekeeper in the Scottish Highlands is believed to have accidentally shot dead his 16-year-old girlfriend and then killed himself out of remorse, according to reports.

      What? Dead people do not protective underwear make.

    1. I can’t wait for The Happening 2: Hay Fever

    2. “Whaaaat a twist!”

  21. http://www.breitbart.com/artic….._article=1

    World’s first 3D porn movie opens in Hong Kong.

    1. If it isn’t a feelie, count me out.

    2. I’m waiting for smell-o-vision to put Harold Zoid out of business.

      1. Italian director Tinto Brass has announced he is to produce a 3D remake of his 1979 erotic film Caligula, while Hustler plans to release a pornographic spoof of 3D science fiction film Avatar, the top-grossing movie of all time.

        1. I’d pay a few bucks to watch that hot big blue babe get nekkid and do some nasty tricks.

          1. If they’re going to do movie themed porn, why not some fairy fuck magic in Lord of the (Cock) Rings?

    1. Yes. Yes, I am.

      1. Two words: maple syrup. I’m convinced it’s the crucifix to your vampire. I’m carrying it, pure.

        1. That only works if the syrup has been blessed by a lumberjack.

          1. This seems relevant.

    2. “High-fructose corn syrup, sugar ? no difference,” is how Lustig put it in a lecture that I attended in San Francisco last December. “The point is they’re each bad ? equally bad, equally poisonous.”

      So, that Glucose IV drip my Father was on in the hospital was really poisoning him? Funny how something that can keep you alive, can also kill you.

      1. Dihydrogen Monoxide. WERE ALL GONNA DIE, PANIC!

        1. This is never going to get old for some people, is it? For the love of god…get some new material!!!

      2. No. The point is fructose hate. (Mr. Taubes was very careful to separate what he and others who also fear processed sugar believe from what has been proven.) Sucrose and HFCS are both glucose-fructose mixtures, and the fructose is what can be harmful in large doses, according to the article.

    1. From my 3d Porn link above Warty.

      Italian director Tinto Brass has announced he is to produce a 3D remake of his 1979 erotic film Caligula, while Hustler plans to release a pornographic spoof of 3D science fiction film Avatar, the top-grossing movie of all time.

      1. That reminds me of this animated gif I once saw, where a cameraman is filming a porn scene, and he leans in real close for the money shot. Unfortunately for him, the male talent spurts into his eyes. Some things are not meant for 3D.

      2. That reminds me of this animated gif I once saw, where a cameraman is filming a porn scene, and he leans in real close for the money shot. Unfortunately for him, the male talent spurts into his eyes. Some things are not meant for 3D.

        1. Now, if STEVE SMITH could hatefuck the squirrels to death, I’d pay to see that in 3D.

          1. Hatefuck? I woulda gone with haterape.

            1. NOOO!!! STEVE SMITH LOVE RAPE!!!

  22. Rick Santorum makes my skin crawl. He’s as bad on the far right wing as the fucking progressives are on the far left wing. He wants to use government power to impose his ideology on everyone else, just like the progressives do. Except his is based on The Word of God, or some such bullshit.

    I just heard him on the Glenn Beck radio show a couple minutes ago – of course Beck and his sidekick Pat Grey pretty much like him, because he’s a bible-thumper like they are. But his big issue seems to be OH NO TEH GAYZOMG!!11!!.

    He went right to how the Supreme Court was wrong in ruling in Lawrence v. Texas in striking Texas’s anti-sodomy law, because if we allow such things merely because it occurred between consenting adults behind closed doors, why then that is a slippery slope leading to such things as “polyamory” and OH MY GOD WE CAN’T POSSIBLY ALLOW CONSENTING ADULTS TO HAVE SEX WITH EACH OTHER!!!

    I have little fear of him getting anywhere, though – but I do look forward to watching him get shot down in flames.

    1. He is a total piece of shit. He is one guy who actually makes Huckabee look good.

      1. Ronald Paul for President of the United States of America in 2012.

      2. +1, and +1 to OP.

      3. I hear he’s good at telemedicine.

        He knew the real deal with that Schivo lady.

        Do I really need to /sarcasm?

      1. he hated [him] soooo much, the flames

    2. “Polyamory”? At least go to men fucking dogs or something. Pretty sure polyamory was legal and reasonably common before Lawrence v. Texas.

      1. Maybe they said polyandry, or were referring to polygamy and polyandry. Polyamory is what Newcular Titties Gingrich practiced, and they all like him.

        1. He definitely said polyamory – Glenn Beck and his buddy Pat chuckled and chided him for adopting the term rather than calling it like it is – GROUP SEX WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS ZOMG!!

  23. That would make a good campaign strategy.

  24. 81-Year-Old Florida Man Hits Suspect With Frying Pan

    Smith hit the man, knocking some of his teeth out with the frying pan. He then used a nearby pitchfork to stick the robber in the side.

    1. Cast iron, baby.

      1. no no no no no no no

        the 81 year old was simply reacting to the fact that he didn’t actually have a cousin Paddy.

  25. Santorum declares… related headline of the day*.

    *WaPo has since edited their headline, replacing “blast” with “goal”

  26. Angelina Barnes, 20, was found covered in cat blood after mutilating the animal to wear it to a Lady Gaga concert

    Read more: http://dailycaller.com/#ixzz1JVqCbb00

    1. MOTHERFUCKING BITCH BURN HER BURN HER

      Here’s the real link. Poor kitty.

      1. Burning is too good for her. Stupid fucking bitch. I hate the idea of people like that breathing my air.

      2. According to the report, investigators found purple hair dye inside a bathroom covered with the cat’s blood. The cat had been drowned, its liver residing in a makeup case on the counter, while it’s eyes had been disfigured and it’s belly sliced down the center.

        Barnes reportedly suffers from depression

        Ya think?

        Fucking a, that’s sad.

  27. POP goes the Chinese housing market:

    http://imarketnews.com/node/29203

  28. Medicare is what is increasing.
    So, what the people want? Do they want the size of the Swedish welfare state without a tax rate of Sweden’s size, or what?
    http://www.american-dreams.info/

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