An upcoming anticommunist film is bending over backwards to avoid offending the world's most powerful communists. The L.A. Times reports:
When MGM decided a few years ago to remake "Red Dawn," a 1984 Cold War drama about a bunch of American farm kids repelling a Soviet invasion, the studio needed new villains, since the U.S.S.R. had collapsed in 1991. The producers substituted Chinese aggressors for the Soviets and filmed the movie in Michigan in 2009.
But potential distributors are nervous about becoming associated with the finished film, concerned that doing so would harm their ability to do business with the rising Asian superpower, one of the fastest-growing and potentially most lucrative markets for American movies, not to mention other U.S. products.
As a result, the filmmakers now are digitally erasing Chinese flags and military symbols from "Red Dawn," substituting dialogue and altering the film to depict much of the invading force as being from North Korea, an isolated country where American media companies have no dollars at stake.
One lesson here is, in the Times's words, "just how much sway China's government has in the global entertainment industry, even without uttering a word of official protest." Another is that such a seemingly significant plot point as the identity of the invaders is actually as interchangeable as a MacGuffin. (*) Russians, Chinese, North Koreans -- I'll bet you could make it an invasion from Grenada and shoot an almost identical script.
Maybe the source of Red Dawn's invading armies was always less important than it seemed, masking the more surprising themes lurking under the surface. As I wrote back in 2008, after noting that the first Rambo picture "asks the audience to cheer for a guerilla hero,"
This was surprisingly common in the allegedly right-wing cult movies of the '80s. Consider John Milius' Red Dawn (1984), in which a small group of Colorado high school jocks battle a Soviet occupation. The film outraged liberal critics, but further to the left it had some supporters. In a witty and perceptive piece for The Nation, Andrew Kopkind called it "the most convincing story about popular resistance to imperial oppression since the inimitable Battle of Algiers," adding that he'd "take the Wolverines from Colorado over a small circle of friends from Harvard Square in any revolutionary situation I can imagine." The one sympathetic character among the occupying forces is a Cuban colonel with a background in guerilla warfare. At one point he tells a Russian officer, voice dripping with disgust, that he used to be an insurgent but now is "just like you—a policeman." Increasingly sympathetic to the Coloradoan rebels, at a key moment the Cuban allows two of them to escape.
(* This sentence originally identified the invaders' identity itself as a MacGuffin, but as a reader points out, the word has a more specific meaning than that.)
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The real mover behind cleaning this film up is Wal-Mart. Pratically everything it sells comes from China. And it's really bad form to cite yourself, asshole.
"how old are you, kid?"
"Fifteen. And the name's Danny, not kid."
"Well, when you grow up, then you'll know these things, Danny. Now get up here and piss in the radiator."
Having said that, it's a business decision by MGM not to piss off a possible customer base (even if they are godless commies) and I can appreciate that.
An North Korean invasion of the US is completely implausible in any reasonable future scenario. Check out National Geographic's "Inside North Korea" documentary. They can't even manage their own little country, much less a global military occupation.
An North Korean invasion of the US is completely implausible
So was a Russian invasion. Yes, obviously, a North Korean invasion is magnitudes more ridiculous. But speaking as someone was alive in the '80s: We weren't afraid the Russians were going to invade us. We were afraid they were going to blow us up.
Ah, I see. He is an abject lesson in self-humiliation, a warning about what depths can be reached...
PHLEBAS the Phoenician, a fortnight dead,
Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep seas swell
And the profit and loss.
A current under sea
Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell
He passed the stages of his age and youth
Entering the whirlpool.
Gentile or Jew
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.
You've actually got it backwards - for "liberal" Canada USA bashing trumps everything. Even hockey is USA bashing, after all "we" invented it and all great hockey players are Canadian, even if they play on a US team.
The invasion in the original Red Dawn wasn't, strictly speaking, by "the Russians", it was by a Soviet bloc alliance that included South American communist nations such as Cuba. It was an extension of the "Domino Theory" to its endpoint.
An invasion by the Islamist forces of some hypothesized Caliphate would make sense in the same way, however implausible it might be, but North Korea isn't exporting revolution and forming a global ideologically-driven alliance. It's a tiny, albeit disproportionately over-armed, dictatorship. An invasion of the US by North Korea is as absurd as an invasion by Grand Fenwick.
Yeah, that's a joke. A nation with 25 million people it can't even kept fed is going to invade the United States? To make it even barely plausible they would have to add some technological component. Some devastating new weapon for which no defense currently exists. Hey, there's your real MacGuffin!
A Soviet invasion was somewhat less implausible given that they were at least a superpower (even if they did not have the type of military to pull off a transoceanic invasion in the real world). North Korea can only plausibly threaten South Korea with invasion, to us they are only possibly a nut with a gun.
>>An North Korean invasion of the US is completely implausible in any reasonable future scenario.
A much more plausible and dangerous enemy is the "liberal critics" and their ilk who were outraged by a (hokey) movie that depicted regular Americans defending their country.
I'm curious just what miracle fuel the writers plan on the Norks using to actually get across the ocean to invade us. Last time I checked, oil was one of the many things they extorted out of China and the West every few years.
She was incredibly tall and thin, with small, crabbed features. She was composed of many flat planes and right angles. Very white blonde with a lot of hair permed up into a mane. She wasn't very pretty and she had a hefty dose of bitch on her face all the time. I really have no clue why she wanted to go out on a date with me.
I had just turned 14, and my dad dropped us off at the movies in town. We had two screens, so I can't imagine what was the less desirable option that led us to go see Red Dawn. I do remember that I was wearing parachute pants. And I didn't really have much height until I turned 15, so she had at least 7 inches on me. And she wore these spike-heeled elf boot things. My eyes only came up to her non-existent breasts.
Other than that, and the movie choice, I'm not sure what made it so bad of a date. It ended OK, but she never wanted to go out with me again and ended up hating me for all of high school. We never really passed a kind word again.
Chloe was seriously cute as a teenager, and may still be but I can't look her in the face after she gave that ugly ass douche a hummer in that one God awful movie.
Vincent Gallo in Brown Bunny? I saw that in the theater when it came out. I was not on a first date. I was also very surprised when she started giving him head.
Along the same lines, the only interesting aspect of the otherwise mediocre movie Battle:Los Angeles was its allegory to the Iraq War. A vastly superior force invades the planet without provocation to steal its natural resources **SPOILER ALERT: They want our water**. And if that was too subtle, every other scene has the grizzled veteran commander having to make a speech on his actions there.
Too bad that it was nothing but a series of clich?s piled on top of scenes shamelessly ripped-off Aliens, Independence Day and Blackhawk Down.
Also perhaps one of the most original and plausible depiction of aliens on film.....well depictions of aliens that snatch people anyway.
That part would never be plausible.
By the way Sugarfree if we dropped off a probe on mars to pick up samples what do you think would happen to proble if you poured water on it?
Do you think it would come back?
Also what is a better strategy sending a shit pot of disposable dumb drones to do your work for you? or spending all your resources on sending a super expensive one shot probe? or worse risking your own neck?
I remember reading a great short story in middle school about these smoothie stores that appear in malls out of nowhere. They're unmanned and the smoothies are either extremely cheap or free and very fattening. Then, these machines appear that strip the fat off people's bodies painlessly. People fatten themselves up with the smoothies (or swoodies, in the story) and get skinny again with the machines.
Hah! I didn't think anyone else had ever even seen that book. It was a short story in a collection called 2041: http://www.amazon.com/2041-Sto.....0440218985
I think they left it more sinister in that you didn't know why they wanted the fat, but that whole series was actually surprisingly good for what it was.
Too bad, although I guess it does make good business sense to pull the 'Chinese' references.
I accidentally blundered onto the set where this was being filmed several months ago. Was driving through downtown Detroit, avoiding a roadblock when I noticed the New York City street signs and wreaths on the stores (in July). Apparently others in the area were treated to explosions and Chinese soldiers running around.
All that's going to go away, along with the subsidies. As a libertarian I agree with the decision, but as a gawker I'll miss the movie-making that was going on around here.
So good it killed his career. After that movie you couldn't look at him in any other role and not think "hey that is Jim Jones". Same thing happened to Eric Roberts after Star 80. He played the roll of Dorthy Stratton's psycho husband so well that you could never see him as anything else and never like him in anything again.
I was born in 1991, so to me Red Dawn seems like a wildly enjoyable piece of good ol' fashioned Cold War dick measuring for Reaganites. And what's wrong with that?
I was born in 1991, so to me Red Dawn seems like a wildly enjoyable piece of good ol' fashioned Cold War dick measuring for Reaganites. And what's wrong with that?
You might actually consider watching the movie.
The premise (Soviet invasion) probably got the Reagen dick measureres in the theater seats but the actual plot story and movie as a whole was anything but cold war masturbation.
In a Reagen dick measure movie there would be no sympathetic villain and the US would not have gotten its ass kicked and the heroes would have either not died or if they did die would not have died meaninglessly but heroically and the premise for the entire war/conflict would not be "Sooner or later the two biggest dogs in the yard are going to fight"
If anything the film is designed to make American audiences sympathize with occupied people...a theme far more common with the left wing and in 1984 during the height of the cold war; subversive, not conservative, in its message.
I've always wondered what Repo Man would have been like if it was released as scripted. Probably nowhere near as good. I agree it can never be remade with a hope of capturing the mood.
There's new video game called "Home Front" that depicts a Unified Communist Korea invading and occupying the Western United States. It was written by the same screewriter that wrote Red Dawn.
It's been completely banned in South Korea and heavily edited in Japan. So while it may seem absurd to us the people of East Asia apparently don't like to joke about that.
(* This sentence originally identified the invaders' identity itself as a MacGuffin, but as a reader points out, the word has a more specific meaning than that.)
Call it a "JP McGillicuddy", after the name Barry Fitzgerald uses for all his composite suspects in The Naked City.
I mean, do you really care who it is? Unless their identity is somehow crucial to the "plot", you shouldn't. I realize I am repeating the post, but you seemed to have missed it.
Why didn't they just make it the Mexicans? No really. All of Latin America unites in some kind of Boulivarian narco terror state and invades the South with the help of Iran, Russia and China?
Yeah it is laughable but less laughable than the NORKS invading. And for once I would like to see Hollywood do something besides boot lick the Chinese?
If you think a Chinese invasion scenario is controversial, how do you think a Mexican invasion scenario would play out? I can see the boycotts and feigned outrage already
I could see white liberals doing that. The Mexicans would all go and see it and cheer for the Mexicans. I gaurentee you such a movie would pack the houses in Latin America.
I'm not entirely surprised by this because I was mindboggled when it was first announced that the remake would have the Chinese as the villains. The Chinese government is infamous for excluding films that could be seen as critical of China, so I couldn't understand why the filmmakers would want to go out of their way to piss them off.
And they're dangerous. They're trained killing machines, like the Fremen in Dune. That's why they live the way they do, to keep the martial edge. Waiting. Watching. Judging.
The one sympathetic character among the occupying forces is a Cuban colonel with a background in guerilla warfare. At one point he tells a Russian officer, voice dripping with disgust, that he used to be an insurgent but now is "just like you?a policeman." Increasingly sympathetic to the Coloradoan rebels, at a key moment the Cuban allows two of them to escape.
The story of the actual movie was not very anti-communist and in fact was more anti-invasion and anti-occupation.
The plot and motivation of the rebels was pretty well summed up by C. Thomas Howell before he shot the traitorous mayor's boy.
Plus North korea has the advantage of being the worse regime in existence today and perhaps in human history.
Who, without using the US, can even fit that bill?
Anything else just seems crazy.
On a side note I am really starting to like the movie idea of rebels fighting an American invasion in Mexico. An acceleration of the Drug war does make it sort of plausible.
The movie is about the folly that results from invading and occuppying a foreign land. They set it in America so we'd watch it. We missed the point but it was a good movie anyway. The remake will suck.
Back in 1915, Cecil B. DeMille made the movie The Cheat, in which Sessue Hayakawa plays a Japanese ivory trader who blackmails and seduces an American housewife who's embezzled charity money.
The Japanese-Americans (who were a sizeable enough minority in America) complained, such that when the movie was re-released a few years later, Hayakawa's character was changed into a Burmese man.
The long answer is Hollywood for perhaps the first time in its history is losing money and shrinking due to other media....most notably video games and the internet....so they do not take risks anymore.
We wont get original movies again until a whole movie can be filmed virtually and human voices can be synthesized realistically...so they can be made for 10s of thousands of dollars rather then 100s of millions.
They could have easily made this movie with the FEDGOV as the bad guy.
At the rate we're going, you'll be hard-pressed to tell the difference between the ATF/DEA/FBI/DHS/BOP super-duper-uber-tactical Ninjas and the armored Soviet troops in the original Red Dawn.
Hell, they could have set it up as a federalist confrontation, where a state is invaded by the FEDGOV when it attempts to nullify an unpopular law enacted via openly corrupt vote-buying, in the dead of night, with no debate or amendment, for the express purpose of advancing a socialist agenda. But, then, who would believe that such legislation would ever make it through Congress? Nah, wouldn't work...
IIRC, the Latin-American Colonel in the original Red Dawn was not Cuban, he was from Nicaragua. In 1984, that sort of played up to the great fear that Danny Ortega's army could somehow march through newly friendly Mexico and cross the American Southwest into Colorado.
About the same time as the movie came out, there were some old sob-plots in Miami Vice where ex-CIA guys were selling coke in South Florida to finance mercenaries to fight in Nicaragua. G. Gordon Liddy actually portrayed the leader of the ex-CIA guys. Now THAT was some quality entertainment.
No, he was Cuban. The plot of the movie was that the Cubans had flipped Nicaragua, then Nicaragua had flipped Mexico and by implication the rest of Latin America. People tend to overlook that part of the world building. If the Soviet had client states controlling Latin America and especially the Panama Canal if becomes much more plausible that a successful invasion of the United States could be carried out. The reason that the US was secure from invasion in the Cold War was naval domination east and west, an ally to the north, and if not an ally then at least a nonaligned state to the south.
The real mover behind cleaning this film up is Wal-Mart. Pratically everything it sells comes from China. And it's really bad form to cite yourself, asshole.
Sez who?
And it's really bad form to spell poorly, asshole.
Cez who?
** stunned silence **
MAAA!!
"how old are you, kid?"
"Fifteen. And the name's Danny, not kid."
"Well, when you grow up, then you'll know these things, Danny. Now get up here and piss in the radiator."
WOLVERINES!!!
Having said that, it's a business decision by MGM not to piss off a possible customer base (even if they are godless commies) and I can appreciate that.
Yes but what about the consumers in Ohio. Did they get rid of the mention of Wolverines?
ummm - it's the U of Michigan Wolverines, not Ohio - or did I miss your point?
Thus the reason Ohioans would become angry.
The Norks invade America... yeah right. It only could happen after our guns have been taken away and we have a Democrat as president.
GO TEAM RED!!!
Half way there...
An North Korean invasion of the US is completely implausible in any reasonable future scenario. Check out National Geographic's "Inside North Korea" documentary. They can't even manage their own little country, much less a global military occupation.
An North Korean invasion of the US is completely implausible
So was a Russian invasion. Yes, obviously, a North Korean invasion is magnitudes more ridiculous. But speaking as someone was alive in the '80s: We weren't afraid the Russians were going to invade us. We were afraid they were going to blow us up.
Not much gets by you, does it Jesse? To belabor the obvious and get paid for it, now that's divine.
You guys are like Gandhi for putting up with this idiot for so many years.
And it's really bad form to insult Jesse Walker, asshole.
He's our pet yorkie.
You guys are like Gandhi for putting up with this idiot for so many years.
Every barrel needs a bottom.
Ah, I see. He is an abject lesson in self-humiliation, a warning about what depths can be reached...
Was Phlebas that hobo who wore a barrel with suspenders in lieu of clothing? See? Some barrels are more useful without a bottom.
I have a 12" vinyl record of T.S. Eliot reading The Waste Land. It's awesome.
So many ways to approach this terse yet voluminous reposte. Well done.
Dang, with a little tweaking, that could be an Iron Law. I'll forward it to the Plenary Committee.
And you comment on it for free.
A invasion by the Europeans would have been an interesting twist. Helped by the perfidious Canucks of course.
Then we could get some thumbsucking articles about the film encouraging canada-hate. (like there is something wrong with that)
How about a socialist invasion from within, assisted by Europe, Russia, China, and Canada.
Let me be clear.
I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
[Tears mask off villain to reveal. . . .]
Old Man Weatherby!
Link for you.
Completely harmless for the lily-liver'd in the audience.
Completely harmless for the lily-liver'd in the audience.
Shyeah. Like I'm going to click on an SF link. On the off-chance it actually works, it will probably cause retinal damage.
Sissy.
And PTSD.
Looked like a picture of a penis to me.
And the Kane Madness.
That's great! Spice coffee should be more widely available.
but, hay. watch the trash talk about livers!
*brays, ambles off*
Re: Colonel_Angus,
There's already a movie about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10U7loIy_js
Canada's #1 sport is ice hockey.
Canada's #2 sport is America-bashing.
What about me?
You've actually got it backwards - for "liberal" Canada USA bashing trumps everything. Even hockey is USA bashing, after all "we" invented it and all great hockey players are Canadian, even if they play on a US team.
The invasion in the original Red Dawn wasn't, strictly speaking, by "the Russians", it was by a Soviet bloc alliance that included South American communist nations such as Cuba. It was an extension of the "Domino Theory" to its endpoint.
An invasion by the Islamist forces of some hypothesized Caliphate would make sense in the same way, however implausible it might be, but North Korea isn't exporting revolution and forming a global ideologically-driven alliance. It's a tiny, albeit disproportionately over-armed, dictatorship. An invasion of the US by North Korea is as absurd as an invasion by Grand Fenwick.
Yeah, that's a joke. A nation with 25 million people it can't even kept fed is going to invade the United States? To make it even barely plausible they would have to add some technological component. Some devastating new weapon for which no defense currently exists. Hey, there's your real MacGuffin!
A Soviet invasion was somewhat less implausible given that they were at least a superpower (even if they did not have the type of military to pull off a transoceanic invasion in the real world). North Korea can only plausibly threaten South Korea with invasion, to us they are only possibly a nut with a gun.
>>An North Korean invasion of the US is completely implausible in any reasonable future scenario.
A much more plausible and dangerous enemy is the "liberal critics" and their ilk who were outraged by a (hokey) movie that depicted regular Americans defending their country.
It was a bad precedent. God forbid they might some day defend themselves from their own government!
Boys! Avenge me! AVENGE ME!
[worst movie line ever]
[Then perhaps you'll enjoy this.]
You stay alive, no matter occurs! I will find you, blah, blah, blah
[I beg to differ]
Isn't Ablie working on avenging HDS?
"No. I'm just the Postman"
"Now, don't you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I'll be locked up safely in there."
OK, picking a line from Plan 9 From Outer Space is almost cheating, but, really.
That new game Homefront is about this scenerio, except it's a united Korea, along with a compliant satellite-state Japan that invades.
How the hell did I miss this post when I first made mine?
So now the Red Dawn remake is a Homefront movie?
The game Homefront (yes, Milius's work as well) was released yesterday (and will be released in Europe on Friday I think).
Oh, the point I was going to make was that it's the NORKs in the game (before you posted the book reference).
I'm curious just what miracle fuel the writers plan on the Norks using to actually get across the ocean to invade us. Last time I checked, oil was one of the many things they extorted out of China and the West every few years.
Kim Jong-il invented cold fusion while playing golf one day.
Did he create a black hole in one?
Par: Infinity
(since the ball never really makes it in)
No problemo: The Koreans team up with the deep-sea civilization from The Abyss.
THE ABYSS IS A VERY GOOD MOVIE.
I know! And so do the Norks! That's why they did it.
That Cuban has some splainin' to do.
A non-Milius Red Dawn can only be garbage.
Awesome Milius fact of the day: he had the idea for the octagon cage used in the UFC.
By the way (and slightly off-topic) I have to thank you for the Zangief Kid yootoob; It's provided endless entertainment here at the lab!
I cannot get enough of it.
"You talkin shit, mate?" FUCKSLAM!
The "THUD" sound that skinny shrimp makes when he hits the pavement is the best part.
I wonder if this one will also be a terrible movie to take a girl to for a first date?
Worse than Alien Resurrection? Than Cry Uncle?
Her name was Dawn. It was all downhill from there.
Dawn's a *nice* name. How bad could it have been?
Was she red from her "friend" visiting?
Time for coffee. 😎
She was incredibly tall and thin, with small, crabbed features. She was composed of many flat planes and right angles. Very white blonde with a lot of hair permed up into a mane. She wasn't very pretty and she had a hefty dose of bitch on her face all the time. I really have no clue why she wanted to go out on a date with me.
I had just turned 14, and my dad dropped us off at the movies in town. We had two screens, so I can't imagine what was the less desirable option that led us to go see Red Dawn. I do remember that I was wearing parachute pants. And I didn't really have much height until I turned 15, so she had at least 7 inches on me. And she wore these spike-heeled elf boot things. My eyes only came up to her non-existent breasts.
Other than that, and the movie choice, I'm not sure what made it so bad of a date. It ended OK, but she never wanted to go out with me again and ended up hating me for all of high school. We never really passed a kind word again.
Holy shit! You're that guy?! And to think I passed you up for Mr. DNS. I'm not sure if I dodged a bullet or should have kissed a frog.
My first date movie at the theater. Rocky Horror Picture Show.
At home, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
I'll bet you didn't kiss her.
Girls HATE rejection and you not making a move is rejection.
Wait. If her middle name was Melody, I understand.
As long as they give Patrick Swayze a cameo in this version, the lady sharing your popcorn will be just fine.
Zombie Patrick Swayze??
I wonder who they'll change the villain to in the remake of Roadhouse.
Instead of being the "owner" of the town he will be a bureaucrat.
The Fly (Jeff Goldblum version) also not a good choice.
Good, if criminally disgusting, movie.
Kids is the worst first-date movie ever.
AIDS IS A VERY GOOD FIRST DATE TOPIC.
Chloe was seriously cute as a teenager, and may still be but I can't look her in the face after she gave that ugly ass douche a hummer in that one God awful movie.
Vincent Gallo in Brown Bunny? I saw that in the theater when it came out. I was not on a first date. I was also very surprised when she started giving him head.
http://www.thefablife.com/2010.....tatements/
I saw that with my dad when I was 17.
I actually took a girl to see Alien on the first date. What can I say - I was in high school. And she was smokin' cute.
I don't recall her ever speaking to me again.
Along the same lines, the only interesting aspect of the otherwise mediocre movie Battle:Los Angeles was its allegory to the Iraq War. A vastly superior force invades the planet without provocation to steal its natural resources **SPOILER ALERT: They want our water**. And if that was too subtle, every other scene has the grizzled veteran commander having to make a speech on his actions there.
Too bad that it was nothing but a series of clich?s piled on top of scenes shamelessly ripped-off Aliens, Independence Day and Blackhawk Down.
Wow. Just like the teevee show "V" (for visitor). It always comes back to Dihydrogen Monoxide. They really should ban that stuff.
They want our water
WTF?!?!
Why don't they just stop off at Europa or Enceladus or the shit pot other moons of Saturn and Jupiter that are literally made of the stuff.
Hollywood writers don't know much about science.
At least it wasn't an acid to them, right?
Stupidest major release ever.
Signs is actually fairly good if you shut it off five minutes from the end. I think Shyamalan's need to insert stupid twists did him in, there.
No it's not. Nothing about Signs is good.
'Signs' was the last watchable Shyamalan film. I liked Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix and thought it was very touching except for the ending.
Although to be fair no one seemed to 'get' the surprisingly sophisticated allegory that was 'The Village'.
The Village is a good conversation piece.
Have to agree, Signs was an Abomination of Desolation.
I've always wondered why they don't do a remake of Slappy & The Stinkers, but there's no sense trying to top perfection.
James Newton Howard's score is pretty damn good.
one of the best explorations of religion ever.
Also perhaps one of the most original and plausible depiction of aliens on film.....well depictions of aliens that snatch people anyway.
That part would never be plausible.
By the way Sugarfree if we dropped off a probe on mars to pick up samples what do you think would happen to proble if you poured water on it?
Do you think it would come back?
Also what is a better strategy sending a shit pot of disposable dumb drones to do your work for you? or spending all your resources on sending a super expensive one shot probe? or worse risking your own neck?
Wasn't that also the plot of Quantum of Solace?
qq
I remember reading a great short story in middle school about these smoothie stores that appear in malls out of nowhere. They're unmanned and the smoothies are either extremely cheap or free and very fattening. Then, these machines appear that strip the fat off people's bodies painlessly. People fatten themselves up with the smoothies (or swoodies, in the story) and get skinny again with the machines.
Punchline: Alien ships use human fat as fuel.
Hah! I didn't think anyone else had ever even seen that book. It was a short story in a collection called 2041: http://www.amazon.com/2041-Sto.....0440218985
I think they left it more sinister in that you didn't know why they wanted the fat, but that whole series was actually surprisingly good for what it was.
Too bad, although I guess it does make good business sense to pull the 'Chinese' references.
I accidentally blundered onto the set where this was being filmed several months ago. Was driving through downtown Detroit, avoiding a roadblock when I noticed the New York City street signs and wreaths on the stores (in July). Apparently others in the area were treated to explosions and Chinese soldiers running around.
All that's going to go away, along with the subsidies. As a libertarian I agree with the decision, but as a gawker I'll miss the movie-making that was going on around here.
Red Dawn was a stupid damned movie.
You're dead to me.
BLASPHEMY.
Nothing with Powers Boothe is ever stupid, you heathen.
Nixon springs to mind.
Was he a fucking great Jim Jones, or what?
So good it killed his career. After that movie you couldn't look at him in any other role and not think "hey that is Jim Jones". Same thing happened to Eric Roberts after Star 80. He played the roll of Dorthy Stratton's psycho husband so well that you could never see him as anything else and never like him in anything again.
Best of the Best. Eric Roberts cries in 5 or 6 different scenes. It's outstanding.
James Earl Jones should be ashamed of himself for appearing in that flick.
"Pop it Tommy!"
It's kind of like that with Dennis Hopper / Frank Booth. You can never seen Hopper the same way after that movie.
Really? That role for me for Hopper was the Photojournalist.
The first movie I saw Hopper in was Speed.
So yeah, youse bitches are old.
I was born in 1991, so to me Red Dawn seems like a wildly enjoyable piece of good ol' fashioned Cold War dick measuring for Reaganites. And what's wrong with that?
I think WarGames was a better movie though.
I was born in 1991, so to me Red Dawn seems like a wildly enjoyable piece of good ol' fashioned Cold War dick measuring for Reaganites. And what's wrong with that?
You might actually consider watching the movie.
The premise (Soviet invasion) probably got the Reagen dick measureres in the theater seats but the actual plot story and movie as a whole was anything but cold war masturbation.
In a Reagen dick measure movie there would be no sympathetic villain and the US would not have gotten its ass kicked and the heroes would have either not died or if they did die would not have died meaninglessly but heroically and the premise for the entire war/conflict would not be "Sooner or later the two biggest dogs in the yard are going to fight"
If anything the film is designed to make American audiences sympathize with occupied people...a theme far more common with the left wing and in 1984 during the height of the cold war; subversive, not conservative, in its message.
Very, very pro-2nd Amendment movie.
It even went out of its way to criticize gun registration.
Red Dawn was a wonderful documentary!
It's such an awful, stupid movie, that I'm taking you all off of my Christmas list.
You just don't like movies with tragic endings.
You need to learn the definition of MacGuffin.
Red Dawn Riding Hood- where a little patriotic American girl kicks commie ass and brings lunch to grandma.
The only reason China would invade us is to get back all their money.
Perhaps they should just remake Repo Man.
THEY SHOULD REMAKE THE CABLE GUY WITH CHINA AS JIM CARREY.
Repo Man cannot be remade. It's unpossible.
Speaking of that fine, fine film, I just got a notice from the library--it's ready for pick-up. Haven't seen it in 15 years.
I've always wondered what Repo Man would have been like if it was released as scripted. Probably nowhere near as good. I agree it can never be remade with a hope of capturing the mood.
It's perfect just the way it is. Made by the Liquid Paper heir!
Repo Man is available on Netflix from the watch instantly selections. Just letting y'all know.
This is one of my favorite movies and a good lesson about what happens when you don't have plenty of guns and ammo.
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Oh hell, I completely agree with Gregory Smith about something.
Thank God, at least you're not a contrarian.
Meh, stopped clock. Would you like a round of antibiotics?
There's new video game called "Home Front" that depicts a Unified Communist Korea invading and occupying the Western United States. It was written by the same screewriter that wrote Red Dawn.
It's been completely banned in South Korea and heavily edited in Japan. So while it may seem absurd to us the people of East Asia apparently don't like to joke about that.
Call it a "JP McGillicuddy", after the name Barry Fitzgerald uses for all his composite suspects in The Naked City.
The North Koreans? Really. No wonder MGM is going bankrupt. What a bunch of fucking idiots. The NORKS couldn't invade my underwear.
I mean, do you really care who it is? Unless their identity is somehow crucial to the "plot", you shouldn't. I realize I am repeating the post, but you seemed to have missed it.
Why didn't they just make it the Mexicans? No really. All of Latin America unites in some kind of Boulivarian narco terror state and invades the South with the help of Iran, Russia and China?
Yeah it is laughable but less laughable than the NORKS invading. And for once I would like to see Hollywood do something besides boot lick the Chinese?
If you think a Chinese invasion scenario is controversial, how do you think a Mexican invasion scenario would play out? I can see the boycotts and feigned outrage already
...and who would mow our lawns then? Tom Russell explains what would happen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZkAoosVLkA
I could see white liberals doing that. The Mexicans would all go and see it and cheer for the Mexicans. I gaurentee you such a movie would pack the houses in Latin America.
John just got the sides mixed up.
A movie about rebels in Mexico surviving against an American invasion would pretty damn cool.
Better then Machete anyway.
I'm not entirely surprised by this because I was mindboggled when it was first announced that the remake would have the Chinese as the villains. The Chinese government is infamous for excluding films that could be seen as critical of China, so I couldn't understand why the filmmakers would want to go out of their way to piss them off.
You know, the Amish don't watch movies, and they're pretty socialist when you think about it.
And they're dangerous. They're trained killing machines, like the Fremen in Dune. That's why they live the way they do, to keep the martial edge. Waiting. Watching. Judging.
Amish Druid Liberation Front
Fact: The Amish don't always ride around in those carriages.
Doesn't matter. They don't need technology. They're like modern-day Spartans, trained from a very young age to kill, kill, and kill again.
I'm with you on the first two kills, but the third one just seems like overkill.
Red Dawn was an underrated piece of cinema. Having said that...
Another thing that you can take away from this whole New and Improved Red Dawn thing is how few real enemies the United States left.
You mean we have few potential enemies that we don't have to kiss up to because we're in debt to them.
*enemies the United States has left*
Hit & Run could sure use a preview button.
Say, I have a thought. Keep the Soviets and their satellites as the bad guys.
Or, better yet, leave the movie on the trash heap of history, where it belongs.
Or make it a foreign film with an invading Soviet Union, and a plucky group of Mujahideen fighting them in the mountains.
no, it must be jingoistic as all get out.
Mujahideen not jingoistic enough?
Osama's Heroes!
As an alternate history SciFi the movie is actually pretty awesome.
They should have set the remake in 1984 and used the soviets.
Would have been way better.
The only thing that would have come close to as good is if the whole invasion was simply a US military experiment conducted on a remote US town.
That would have been pretty cool.
The one sympathetic character among the occupying forces is a Cuban colonel with a background in guerilla warfare. At one point he tells a Russian officer, voice dripping with disgust, that he used to be an insurgent but now is "just like you?a policeman." Increasingly sympathetic to the Coloradoan rebels, at a key moment the Cuban allows two of them to escape.
The story of the actual movie was not very anti-communist and in fact was more anti-invasion and anti-occupation.
The plot and motivation of the rebels was pretty well summed up by C. Thomas Howell before he shot the traitorous mayor's boy.
"Becouse we live here"
By the way the real remake of Red Dawn is the video game "Home Front".
Also i am more offended by them using China as a plot device then i am about them offending anyone.
Who the fuck is afraid China will invade the US?
The Truth.
You're on to something. Who would play Donald Southerland's character?
Thread fail. Response to Pro Lib's Osama's Heroes comment.
That's a tough one. An Islamic hippie. Hmmmm. Charlie Sheen?
On another side note:
More poeple will play Home Front then will see the Red Dawn Remake...
So why is MSM (and reason following alone) covering a soon to be failed remake and not the soon to be successful video game franchise?
Why the Fuck is this not the last Friday article?!?!
Seriously Jesse this article is so target rich for an endless stream of comments it takes my breath away.
We commentors could have trolled our whole weekend away on this subject.
You should have saved this piece for a couple of days.
Tim does it why not you?
So, the Kochs invested in Homefront or what?
So, the Kochs invested in Homefront or what?
No...the writer and director of the original Red Dawn is also the writer for Home Front:
John Milius
Who is possibly one of the most awesome poeple to ever walk the earth (nohomo).
I'm just getting a little bit tired of norks as the evil superpower. It was fucking ridiculous in Crysis, and it hasn't gotten less ridiculous since.
It was pretty plausible in Team America.
Gahaha, you are worthress Arec Barwin!!!! I'm so ronery, I'm so roenry!
Most plausible of a list of very implausibles.
Plus North korea has the advantage of being the worse regime in existence today and perhaps in human history.
Who, without using the US, can even fit that bill?
Anything else just seems crazy.
On a side note I am really starting to like the movie idea of rebels fighting an American invasion in Mexico. An acceleration of the Drug war does make it sort of plausible.
The movie is about the folly that results from invading and occuppying a foreign land. They set it in America so we'd watch it. We missed the point but it was a good movie anyway. The remake will suck.
This isn't anything new.
Back in 1915, Cecil B. DeMille made the movie The Cheat, in which Sessue Hayakawa plays a Japanese ivory trader who blackmails and seduces an American housewife who's embezzled charity money.
The Japanese-Americans (who were a sizeable enough minority in America) complained, such that when the movie was re-released a few years later, Hayakawa's character was changed into a Burmese man.
would be the collaborators? question of the day.
for one...
I suppose it ironic that in the original China was the USA's only significant ally.
Matt Eckert: Well, who is on our side?
Col. Andrew Tanner: Six hundred million screamin' Chinamen.
Darryl Bates: Well, last I heard, there were a billion screamin' Chinamen.
Col. Andrew Tanner: There were.
See, now that's good action-movie dialogue. I am sick to death of lame-o quips from steroid cases.
Why not really update the concept and the invaders Iranian? Or Mexican?
Or make it an alternate timeline where the Soviet Union is still going strong?
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood today have any imagination?
Well it is a remake...as in not something new.
So the simple answer is no.
The long answer is Hollywood for perhaps the first time in its history is losing money and shrinking due to other media....most notably video games and the internet....so they do not take risks anymore.
We wont get original movies again until a whole movie can be filmed virtually and human voices can be synthesized realistically...so they can be made for 10s of thousands of dollars rather then 100s of millions.
I give it 10 to 15 years.
They could have easily made this movie with the FEDGOV as the bad guy.
At the rate we're going, you'll be hard-pressed to tell the difference between the ATF/DEA/FBI/DHS/BOP super-duper-uber-tactical Ninjas and the armored Soviet troops in the original Red Dawn.
Hell, they could have set it up as a federalist confrontation, where a state is invaded by the FEDGOV when it attempts to nullify an unpopular law enacted via openly corrupt vote-buying, in the dead of night, with no debate or amendment, for the express purpose of advancing a socialist agenda. But, then, who would believe that such legislation would ever make it through Congress? Nah, wouldn't work...
IIRC, the Latin-American Colonel in the original Red Dawn was not Cuban, he was from Nicaragua. In 1984, that sort of played up to the great fear that Danny Ortega's army could somehow march through newly friendly Mexico and cross the American Southwest into Colorado.
About the same time as the movie came out, there were some old sob-plots in Miami Vice where ex-CIA guys were selling coke in South Florida to finance mercenaries to fight in Nicaragua. G. Gordon Liddy actually portrayed the leader of the ex-CIA guys. Now THAT was some quality entertainment.
No, he was Cuban. The plot of the movie was that the Cubans had flipped Nicaragua, then Nicaragua had flipped Mexico and by implication the rest of Latin America. People tend to overlook that part of the world building. If the Soviet had client states controlling Latin America and especially the Panama Canal if becomes much more plausible that a successful invasion of the United States could be carried out. The reason that the US was secure from invasion in the Cold War was naval domination east and west, an ally to the north, and if not an ally then at least a nonaligned state to the south.