Reason Morning Links: Talks in Egypt, AOL/HuffPo, Thailand/Cambodia Border Clashes

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  1. If only they would threaten to arrest Barry as well, I’d pay for both their tickets.

  2. “AOL buys Huffington Post”

    Did anyone ask Time-Warner how this might end?

    1. So my mailbox is going to be full of installation CDs for HuffPo and offers for 300 free hours?

      (This joke brought to you by the year 1998.)

      1. Oh, make it 3000 hours, Darling!

        1. Do you really get allergic smelling Hay?

      2. How shitty do you have to be before AOL can buy you out? WTF-Chrysler couldn’tout bid them?

      3. I do have a harder time finding coasters now.

  3. Every time I get an email at work from an aol.com address, I die inside.

    $300M for Ariana, yet Ezra Klein can’t even get that cute bike messenger to notice him when he wears his tightest fitted t-shirt to sign for the package he sent himself.

    1. Hey! There’s Ezra talking to someone…

  4. Oh, great. Now Al Sharpton’s in line for a cabinet post.

    “Sharpton owes $359,973 to the IRS for 2009 personal income tax, according to documents on file with the city.

    Public records show he owes a total of $3.7 million in city, state and federal taxes, including penalties, dating to 2002. But Sharpton’s spokeswoman, Rachel Noerdlinger, said that he had paid back ‘well over seven figures’ as part of agreements with the state and IRS and that the liens remained on the books as ‘a matter of bureaucracy.'”

    1. Race-baiting is that profitable that he owes $3.7 mil?! I’m in the wrong line of work

      1. It is truly amazing. I don’t know *anyone* who has sent him money.

        1. Really? Everyone I know sent him money, but oddly enough, none of them voted for Nixon.

    2. If Sharpton had donated any more of that to the Obama campaign, he could hide out behind the ambassador’s desk at the US Embassy the Luxembourg

      1. “the”, “at”, what’s the difference?

        1. Good point. Neither of them are “in”.

          1. American embassies are sovereign soil, therefore they are “at” not “in” foreign countries.

            (Hey, that explanation didn’t sound like bullshit at all. Nice recovery, Fist of Etiquette!)

            1. Damn. You should run for Congress.

  5. Suleiman’s offer to eventually lift emergency laws with a major caveat ? when security permits

    With all due respect, why not repeal security restrictions when the crisis is over?

    1. These particular emergency laws have been in place since 1981 or so

    2. Note to self: Use less-subtle sarcasm.

    3. Remember the “temporary” telephone tax that had been put in place to help pay the debt from the Spanish-American war? It finally was repealed just a couple years ago.

      Wasn’t it one of Ronnie Raygun’s infamous quips that “There’s nothing so permanent as a temporary government program”?

      1. And everyone got $40.

      2. At least it was repealed.

        There’s a tax on sparkling wines in Germany encated in 1902 to pay for the Imperial Navy.

        1. The tolls in PA are still paying for the Johnstown flood. Or….

  6. Hey whoever (Alamanian) makes the “reasonable” chrome extension, it isn’t showing alt-text for me for some reason. Yes, I have “show alt-text” checked.

    Thanks for making it.

  7. Man at cockfight killed by cock.

    I don’t think he understood how the game is played.

    1. That looked like a dog with a glove on his head!

      1. Tahmahleeeyy!

    2. Man at cockfight killed by cock.

      Oh jeeze, now California is going to want to ban cockfighting…

      1. San Fran strangely opposed to the ban…

    3. Sorry, links titled like this prevent me from clicking on them to find out what they’re about.
      Half of me doesn’t want to be disgusted, the other half doesn’t want to be disappointed.

    4. The dead man was found with an empty Four Loko can in his hand. I don’t think it was the cock that killed him…

  8. Protests, threat of arrest cause George W. Bush to cancel Europe trip.

    You know who didn’t cancel his march through Europe?

    1. Too soon

    2. That’s good.

    3. Atila the Hun?

      1. John Phillip Sousa?

  9. I like to thank the inventor of reasonable for Chrome. You are now one of my favorite humans ever.

    1. [Tap tap] Is this thing on?

      You know, one of my comments is in the screenshot for the “fix” to threaded comments. I don’t know if I like the co-opting of my brand for something that perverts threaded comments.

      1. SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

      2. I’m in the screenshots as well. I happily associate with the product. Death to the trollwhores!

        1. Pssst! They die when you don’t feed them.

    2. Wow, in-line images and video. Nice.

      Pity there’s nothing like this for Firefox.

        1. Joe Biden in 2500 years.

          1. Can you see it in-line? I cannot…

        2. Return of the Living Dead

          I would know that quadraplegic rotting torso anywhere

        3. Works now if you force it to update (wrench > Tools > Extensions > Update)

          The regular expression I was using to find links to images didn’t allow for URLs to start with a number. Weird.

      1. It’s worth leaving Firefox. I had to go to Chrome anyway because of some conflicts with the proxy settings at work. Chrome is a bit of a processor hog at times, but it’s gotten a lot better from the initial release. And the Ad-Block works much better than it did.

        1. The other thing about Chrome is that if you have anything to say to google corporate, you can just type it into where you put the web addresses and you are guaranteed that someone at google will read it.

          1. Then I should really apologize to google for a bunch of my searches.

          2. Yeah, I’m willing to pay the troll toll to not have a Google product installed on my machine.

          3. The bad thing about Chrome is all of the tracking cookies it plants on your machine. Every time I use it, I get 15 or so.

            I’ll stick with Firefox until it stops working, or Chrome stops with the cookies.

        2. There’s no NoScript which means you’re still vulnerable to a lot of nastiness. (Yeah, yeah, yeah. SANDBOX! But it won’t stop everything.)

          Plus, I use Vimperator so I don’t have to use the mouse. Those two keep me from considering Chrome.

          1. Chrome’s content settings have improved a lot from the initial release. They’re not as robust as NoScript, but they let you match patterns to turn off scripts, or at least they do in the latest beta. Same thing goes for cookies and plugins.

            1. Actually, I take that back. They still kind of suck. There are some tools that work fine, but nothing like NoScript.

    3. And it stops those damn twitter and facebook scripts. Those take forever to load.

      1. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. I want it to, but I can’t until Chrome gives more permissions to developers. You can’t prevent elements from loading, which means that obnoxious Twitter widget still executes these expensive calls two dozen times or so on the H&R main page. It’s way easier to develop for Chrome than Firefox, but it gives you less control.

        Incidentally, I just found something that might give me a clue has to how to work it into Chrome, but as of now, it’s not in there.

        1. I also take that back. Added. No more Facebook or Twitter buttons unless you want them.

          The main page loads in about 25% as much time as it did before. That was actually much easier than expected.

    4. I know. It’s great. Just don’t know why it isn’t showing alt-text on this computer.

      (I’ve installed it on three.)

      1. It might be because recent articles don’t have any alt text. Is it not showing up on the Tura Satana article? If you go to the options page and hit Save with the appropriate box checked, and it still doesn’t work, I’m at a loss (unless all the other functionality is broken too). The code itself is only 5 lines long.

    5. It also renames “Stephen J. Smith” “STEVE SMITH”, which is awesome.

    6. Thanks, SF.

      You know, one of my comments is in the screenshot for the “fix” to threaded comments. I don’t know if I like the co-opting of my brand for something that perverts threaded comments.

      Recording the public space is cool and totally libertarian. Balko, back me up on this.

      Also, the threaded comments deal can be turned on and off really easily. I just got sick of trying to figure out who was responding to whom.

      1. I’d like a feature in Firefox that requires commenters to flag a field entitled, “Of Interest to Pro Libertate.”

    7. How come heller is on the troll list?

      1. Not sure, but he’s off whatever you’re looking at now. I made the whole deal like a week ago, so it’s still a work in progress.

        It’s also not considered a beta because I’m trying to keep the spirit of Chrome, which involves releasing things in rapid succession and hoping no one notices the half-baked introduction of new functionality.

        1. Cool, thanks for the response dude. 🙂

    8. WOW! So that’s how it is? Maybe I’ll stuxnet Chrome like I did the Persian centrifuges. Let me tell you, out of control centrifuge + my shiny metal rod = newcular orgasm. LOL

      Jess
      http://www.privacy-4-u.com

  10. Egyptian government offers new concessions to opposition groups.

    Egyptian strip poker.

  11. OMB Director says “The Budget is not just a collection of numbers but a reflection of our values.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02……html?_r=1

    “We must take care to avoid indiscriminate cuts in areas critical to long-term growth like education, innovation and infrastructure ? cuts that would stifle the economy just as it begins to recover. That, in turn, would deprive us of one of the most powerful drivers of deficit reduction, a growing economy.”

    There you have it: It is the government that spurs growth through education, innovation and infrastructure… never mind the entrepreneurship or capital formation of individual Americans – nah.

    1. Parasites always talk that way about their victims/hosts. It’s called rationalization.

    2. So does the fact that they can’t suggest cuts to anything reflect the fact that they value nothing?

  12. “Killed by cock”?

    A headline sure to cause titillation.

    1. Like a tingling going up someone’s leg…

  13. Man at cockfight killed by cock.

    Hey, I already saw this in one of them “1,000 Ways To Die” episodes!

  14. Protests, threat of arrest cause George W. Bush to cancel Europe trip.

    I pity any fool whose name also happens to be George Bush, especially if he wanted to spend his second honeymoon in Bern.

  15. Ask not for whom the cock crows. . . .

    1. Maybe O’Reilly could get an interview with the cock. Ask it for it’s views on illegal immigration.

      1. Actually, his position is well reasoned.

        1. O’Riely’s that is.

  16. I saw Death by Cock in ’92. I think they opened for The Bloodshits and Screaming Taint.

    1. Was this a concert, or a session of Congress?

    2. Ah, the Genital Trauma Festival. Sponsored by Mountain Dew if I remember…

    3. Yeh. Jimmy Head and Til I’m Dead were there too. Massive Veejayjay opened for them.

      1. On a related note, apparently the lead singer for Anal Cunt isn’t happy with today’s music…
        http://www.thegauntlet.com/art…..years.html

        1. On a side note, happy to hear the Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles are reunited.

          *insert bad Falkland Islands joke here*

          1. Yes, they are, I just watched some video about them wanting to kill the black eyed peas or something!!!

  17. Man at cockfight killed by cock.

    This headline is nothing new to those of us who follow the exploits of STEVE SMITH.

  18. http://jammiewearingfool.blogs…..-back.html

    Al Sharpton owes $3.7 million in back taxes.

  19. I can’t see how this could end badly.

    ” The network, which is dubbed the “World Wide Web for robots,” was designed by a team of European scientists and engineers to allow robots to learn from the experience of their peers, thus enabling them to take on tasks that they weren’t necessarily programmed to perform. Using a database with intranet and internet functionality, the system collects and stores information about object recognition, navigation, and tasks and transmits the data to robots linked to the network. Basically, it teaches machines to learn without human intervention”

    Do they not show the Terminator movies in Europe?

    1. In Poland, Terminator was released as The Electronic Murderer.

    2. More, um, “fruit beverage”, Master?

    3. Well, if their web is anything like ours, they’ll get scat play figured out well before they ever figure out time travel.

      1. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed by your insight.

        1. Two terminatrixes, a cup and a temporal fold.

  20. Struggling Internet pioneer AOL Inc. announced late Sunday that it would buy the Huffington Post, the well-known news and opinion site.

  21. Scuffling along the Thailand/Cambodia border.

    All peace talks should be conducted at Phuket as that is what they will boil down to anyway.

    Truthfully, it’s gotta be hard being a non-power in Asia. You don’t hold the rest of the world’s money like China, you’re never crazy enough to be Korea, and nerds the world over don’t want to visit you as much as they do Japan.

    1. Other then for picking up slave/wives of course. Funny to walk around Bangkok and see disgusting blob fanboys with hot Thai wives (or boygirls).

  22. Whoa, AOL is still around ,I had no idea!

    http://www.ultimate-privacy.tk

    1. That’s actually a great spambot comment. Bravo!

  23. Hand Crack and Suicide Pacts

    Exactly. Masturbation. The act most people don’t talk about…but do. Whenever I public speak, I usually ask, “So when a married couple comes back from their honeymoon, what do we assume happened?” SEX. And yet, they still come out in public. Why? *Cause that is what they were supposed to do.* To be naked and not ashamed. Yet it’s amazing (and conflicting-I Corinthians 14:33) to me that so many people want to claim that masturbation is not “sexually immoral behavior” and yet they don’t want to admit that they do it. *Why is that?* Things that are godly have LIGHT around them. They are not to be kept in the dark.

    Which is why I call masturbation “hand crack”. The drug of all drugs. “Sure I can stop” is what a lot of people say (or think). The follow-up? “I just don’t want to.” JUNKIES SAY THAT ALL OF THE TIME. In waiting for our covenant partners, that means we are to wait mind, *body* and spirit. Again, how dare we try and rush God when we can’t even be patient with our own libidos? I mean, what is it? “Hurry up God so that I can get my fix?” My next hit? My jack off? Indeed, how can women be mad at what my friend said when many of us treat our bodies the *exact same way* that he says a lot of men do. Just using it for a release. No real care. No real concern. No self-love because that would mean that we would honor ourselves as the place where Ruach Hakodesh dwells. A Divine Spirit deserves a divine space: a place befitting of a deity.

    1. Wow. How *do* you find this stuff?

      1. I think he was searching “naughty nuns” and the xxxchurch.com link came up.

        1. How do you it’s abuse time in a church?

          When the big hand touches the little hand…

    2. Best Nancy Pelosi quote EVEH!

      1. We have to rub it to see what comes out!

  24. Okay- I watched most of the first half; then I switched over to the Buffy rerun at halftime, to keep from being driven insane by some incredibly lame half time show. I’m no fool. I switched back to the game a couple of times, and had to abandon it in disgust.

    How in the fuck does a team with NO PASS RUSH WHATSOEVER even get to the Big Game (explain how we benefit from that, IP slavers), much less win it? This is why I cannot stand to watch the NFL.

    1. Eh. I liked the half-time show for the drunken soundboard operator who kept turning off/down people’s mikes in mid-song. The only thing we could figure (besides drunkenness) is that the autotune/effects package had a super senesitive feedback risk.

    2. As an anti-IPer, I still support existence of trademarks (fraud protection).

      However, that doesnt explain preventing people from using the phrase “Super Bowl”.

      I get it in some contexts, Coke doesnt want someone calling their product “the Coca-Cola of wine”, so you cant call your sale “the Super Bowl of savings”. But they try to restrict other uses too, which is insane.

    3. Wait you mean the team with the highest number of sacks, Pitt, or the team with the second highest number of sacks, GB? For the regular season at least.

      Wow black eyed peas sound terrible outside of a studio. Worse halftime show I can remember.

    4. I turned on the radio at halftime and listened to the Westwood One halftime show. They had an interview with Bart Starr which was worth it.

    1. #6 is my favorite. Feministers think rapists can be misunderstood men who need the right woman to redeem them.

      1. WTF???

        I think a big part of that problem is that we demonize rapists too much.
        Everyone pictures rapists as psychopaths, hiding in the bushes with knives. As feminists we’ve worked really hard to dispel that myth, explaining over and over that most rapists assault someone they know ? friends, acquaintances, dates, and partners.
        A big part of the reason that people aren’t catching on to what that really means is that they are still picturing men who commit sexual assault as evil or morally corrupt. If their friend isn’t evil or morally corrupt, he couldn’t possibly commit sexual assault.

        1. Gobbler, I guess they’re saying all men are rapists, not just the psychopaths. So, normal men are much worse than you thought, but hey, psychotic rapists aren’t so bad, because really all men do it.

          1. All sex is rape, if men are involved.

    2. “Most people applaud Taylor Swift. She’s a young woman who has built a career on her talent alone as a singer and a songwriter. While she’s attractive, she hasn’t used her looks or her sexuality to advance her career.”

      Are you kidding me??? No one does barefoot trailor-trash slut better than Taylor Swift. When I see her in those sun dresses I can’t wait for some hand crack!

      1. Yeah. Its more that she plays the traditional Nashville scene gain of being young and hot without doing anything the shrills can point to. No visible underwear and boots at or below the knee equals “attractive and talented”, breaking either rule equals “using her sex because she lacks talent”.

        1. gain = game. Fucking fingers.

        2. she plays the traditional Nashville scene gain of being young and hot without doing anything the shrills can point to

          Isn’t it weird that “feminists” are trying to shame women into following some bullshit social script about what is/isn’t appropriate attire for ladies?

          Hell, I must not understand feminism.

          1. Isn’t it weird that “feminists” are trying to shame women into following some bullshit social script about what is/isn’t appropriate attire for ladies?

            Like radical Islamist sand Nazis?

            1. Great untapped B-movie idea.

      2. No one does barefoot trailor-trash slut better than Taylor Swift. When I see her in those sun dresses I can’t wait for some hand crack!

        What is hand-crack?

        1. See the SF post upthread.

    3. #2

      I am also fat, and fat-loving. This, again, is not something a man wants me to be. I take up space. I don’t apologize for my size. The diet and fashion industries, largely run by men, want women to disappear (size double zero???). I refuse. I actively resist the push for me to get smaller and be quieter.

      I don’t think this was ever in question.

      1. I know that my very existence, even if I worked at the zoo, is in opposition to the patriarchy.

        *barely contained laughter*

        too….easy…mustn’t pick…such….low hanging fruit….

        “What, as an attraction?!”

        “The real question is, would PETA give a shit if the zoo mistreated it?”

        “Sorry we had to pass you up for the position, but someone had to think of the children.”

      2. I actively resist the push for me to get smaller and be quieter.

        At 267 lbs., you’re resisting the push of anything smaller than a bulldozer.

        Also, explain to me how the fashion industry, run by women and gay men, is a patriarchical institution.

        1. What’s more patriarchal than gay men? THEY LOVE MEN, and all the patriarchy they embody. At least rapist, heterosexual men are sensible enough to lust after The Superior Sex.

    4. Thanks, Johnny. Too bad work dragged me away right when you posted it…

    5. I think a big part of that problem is that we demonize rapists too much.

      Sex with the right partner will be tender and fun, fast and furious, dizzying and daring. But this doesn’t happen overnight. The very important first step is self-knowledge, and that’s why this note comes attached to a vibrator.

      If we start to push the boundaries of gender, we push at the foundation of patriarchal power. I do that, everyday, with my man panties and my men’s deodorant.

      J-Jesus. I really can’t imagine what encourages someone to read through enough Feministing to come up with a top 10 list.

    1. And the world yawns.

      1. Fuck you

    2. He looks like Nick Swardson in that picture.

  25. AOL buys Huffington Post.

    I wonder if their content will change at all. For example, will they continue to promote the vaccination/autism fraud?

  26. Rent Seekers Don’t Like The Calls For De-regulation (Surprise! Surprise!)

    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..Collection

    Amid calls for shrinking government, lawmakers across the country are vowing to cut regulations that crimp economic growth. President Barack Obama recently said it’s time to root out laws that “are just plain dumb.”

    Tell that to the cat groomers, tattoo artists, tree trimmers and about a dozen other specialists across the country who are clamoring for more rules governing small businesses.

    […]

    “Occupations prefer to be licensed because they can restrict competition and obtain higher wages,” said Morris Kleiner, a labor professor at the University of Minnesota. “If you go to any statehouse, you’ll see a line of occupations out the door wanting to be licensed.”

    The next best thing to being unionized – being licensed! Consumer be damned!

  27. Has John called for Christina Aguilera’s arrest yet?

    1. kudos

  28. What is the deal with Chrysler Super Bowl ads?

    I think that’s what it was, but I’m not 100% sure…

    Some (presumably) thug musician is cruising aimlessly around Detroit in what appears to be a recycled Mercedes Benz with a Chrysler badge on the front, while the narrator gurgles incomprehensibly about I-don’t-know-what. And then- a black church choir.

    There might have been more, but at that point I switched back to the Buffy rerun to make the dull ache in my skull subside.

    1. I liked the fact that Eminem was still attempting to support Detroit. And the church may have been one of the landmarks that has been abandoned. I just hate that the taxpayer grossly overpaid for that advertisement.

  29. The tables were turned at a California cockfight after a man was fatally stabbed in the leg by a sharp blade attached to one of the fighting birds, The Bakersfield Californian reported.

    Am I supposed to mourn some asshole who gets pleasure out of watching animals butchering each other?

    A theist would point to this as evidence of a just God.

    1. This may prove difficult for you to comprehend but I’m going to try anyway.

      Some problems can not be fixed. Not by the family, not by the church, not by the government. Kinda sucks, don’t it?

      1. I think it’s cool I have an H&R retard following me around parroting, but not comprehending, my wisdom.

    2. I must have missed the part of the article where huge sympathy was drawn up for the dead man. Just because they’re reporting the death doesn’t mean this was written as a sob story. I think it was still a statement about the sport itself.

  30. second highest number of sacks, GB?

    Seriously?

    Every time I looked, Rothelsfelcher was serenely meandering around the backfield like Boris Karloff drunk and on stilts, completely unmolested.

    1. Except for that time he got plastered and threw up a pick of course.

  31. Some problems, et c

    The song remains the same…

  32. Between that Glee chick shrieking through America the Beautiful,

    Christina Aguilera doing her impression of Whitney Huston forgetting the words the National Anthem,

    and the BEP producer deciding that they really should showcase as an a capella group at the Bowl of the Superness (seriously, worst mix EVER – lets totally bury the music track for a medley of party songs?!),

    That had to be one of the 5 worst Supes ever for music.

  33. Crystal Mountain

    And I hope Pittsburgh has burned down by now.

    1. reasonable users, does the video appear in my post for you? All I see is a youtube-sized amount of whitespace.

      1. Works for me. I just update Chrome and reasonable.

      2. Yeah, probably works fine if you update. You might have gotten the first version that I uploaded that allows you to block the Facebook and Twitter buttons (cutting the main H&R page load time by 80%). YouTube videos were getting caught up in the filter and I forgot to test for that.

  34. But it was a good game, no?

    It is as if the quality of the non-football aspects of the Super Bowl (commercials, half time music, etc) are inversely proportional to the quality of the game itself.

    I’ll take that bargain.

    1. That was a horrid game of football. I’ve seen high school games with better execution. Picks, fumbles, missed routes… the list just goes on and on.

      A close game does not make a good game.

    2. It was a beautiful game, and could only have been improved by Ben Roethlisberger being horribly injured.

      1. I’m blessed with the choice between the Carolina Panthers and the Oakland Raiders. Occasionally, one of them gives me something worth watching:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miSgj5hRXx4

    3. It was the highest rated super bowl of all time. 47.9

      population inflation?

  35. But it was a good game, no?

    I thought it sucked. Has the NFL banned tackling?

    1. Only on the field of play.

    2. Haven’t watched a game in a while, have you?

    3. We’re living through an era of bad defense.

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