Government Spending

Meanwhile, at The Parker-Spitzer Blog, I Call Obama's SOTU a "Failure"

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The folks over at CNN's Parker Spitzer asked me (among other guests of the show) to comment on Barack Obama's State of the Union Address. Here's a snippet of my review:

The State of the Union is about the most-overhyped event this side of the Golden Globes: This year's winners are immediately forgotten and then indifference *really* sets in. With that as a baseline, this speech has got to be considered a failure.

The emphasis on "winning the future" (the title of a widely unread book by former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich) marries the worst of the ad-talk-lingo that pervades politics like second-hand smoke and a juvenile emphasis on treating everything like a sporting event.

"We need to out-innovate, out-educate, and out-build the rest of the world"? Are we talking about our lives or a new season of Survivor ("Outwit, Outplay, Outlast")? We're already outspending the world on just about everything, especially defense spending. Can't we declare victory and get on with our lives already?

More, including likening Obama to "a gambler whose plan is to leave the table after a double-or-nothing score," here.

Earlier today, Veronique de Rugy and I argued that "We Can't Win the Future by Repeating the Past."

A couple of weeks ago, my moustache and I appeared on Parker Spitzer to talk debt ceiling, Boehner's tears, and more. Have a look, if you'd like:

NEXT: DEA Rubber Ducky Is Looking for Your Package

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  1. You’re a fucking moron, Gillespie. Nothing you’ve ever written is worth the peanuts in Obama’s shit.

    1. Mr. troll, can you please explain your baseless comment?

      1. Okay, Obama is a highly accomplished man and the President of the most powerful country in the world. Gillespie is the naricissitic guru of a tiny political fringe cult who parrots the party line to the awe and delight of dimwits like you.

        1. I think what Dougith meant was why are there peanuts in Obama’s shit? He should probably see a doctor about that.

          1. It was Max’s way of saying that Obama and George Washington Carver look the same.

            Therefore, Max = RACIST!

            1. Max is the leader of a Hate Group:

              Obama
              Gillespie
              Morons
              Parrots
              Dimwits
              Jimmy Carter

          2. Cough up Barry’s transcripts or STFU about “accomplished,” “intelligent,” or any other similar BS.

        2. Max|1.26.11 @ 8:19PM|#
          “Okay, Obama is a highly accomplished man…”

          Right. And you’re unicorn shit.

        3. Yeah, he’s highly accomplished all right, at being George W. Bush the Lesser.

          Not Hope and Change, clown shoes, More of Same.

          1. Destroying the economy is a type of change. Get ready.

        4. Sounds great does not mean reasonable, all the content of all you say there is no basis.
          So I can only say that you refresh the IQ off the assembly line.

        5. Sounds great does not mean reasonable, all the content of all you say there is no basis.
          So I can only say that you refresh the IQ off the assembly line.

        6. You can grovel all you want, Max, but Barry ain’t never gonna be your baby-daddy.

          1. THAT’S RACIST!!!!!!!!

            1. Okay, okay. Don’t sue me, bros.

              I’m on my way to the store to buy milk.

              1. And I’ll bet it’s gonna be WHITE milk, eh, spawn of Satan?

                1. Yes, but it came from a brown-skinned cow.

            2. You’re all rackets. Is this what passes for humor out in hickville bumfuck Kansas?

              1. Tony, Tony, where have you been…
                we’ve been sooo worried…

        7. Max, don’t be so dismissive! Nick did get honorable mention in the first annual RandyAyndy Awards

          1. Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
            I HATE YOU ALL! I’M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

            reply to this

            1. Rectal, just for the record, I am sorry your father died without telling you how disappointed he was that your life consists of blogwhoring to a group of people who can’t stand the sight of your posts.

            2. Cough up Barry’s transcripts or STFU about “accomplished,” “intelligent,” or any other similar BS.

        8. Cough up Barry’s transcripts or STFU about “accomplished,” “intelligent,” or any other similar BS.

        9. wow – brown-nose much? Busy buttering up the boss with sweet kisses and anal cunninglus?

        10. Mr Vice President, please stop trolling. You’ve been warned before.

        11. It’s “narcissistic”, and I can’t think of a word that better applies to our most assuredly unaccomplished president. Unless you want to suggest that merely winning an election makes one accomplished.

        12. Can you define “highly accomplished?” Sad, but unless you count the sales of those BORING books, I’ve accomplished much more in business than he has.

    2. You love those peanuts, don’t you, Edward. Not so crunchy that they hurt your tiny, peg-like teeth, but not digested to mush either; and they leave such a delightful coating on the roof of your mouth! After a handful of presidential shit peanuts with breakfast, you get to enjoy the taste of leadership every time you tongue your palate, all day long.

      Mmm, tasty presidential shit peanuts.

      1. Mr. Lahey: Halloween 1977, Jules. You remember, don’t you, Bubbles? Yo, what’s at work here? It’s the shit-tectonics. When two shit-plates strike, and come together under incredible pressure, what happens, Bubbles?

        Bubbles: What, Mr. Lahey?

        Mr. Lahey: Shit-quake. May the Force be with you gentlemen, and may I be with the Force.

    3. Sounds great does not mean reasonable, all the content of all you say there is no basis.
      So I can only say that you refresh the IQ off the assembly line.

    4. Are the peanuts in Obama’s shit of value to you? Do you eat them, or just spit them out when you lick his asshole?

    5. “The State of the Union is about the most-overhyped event this side of the Golden Globes:”

      SOTU was given by a sort-of-black guy. No Golden Globe nominee can claim that.

      There you go Max, saved your worthless ass.

  2. The Jacket and the ‘Stache. Sounds like a perfect sitcom theme to me. Or at least a title. Lord knows we are going to need a bonafide sitcom when all this effin shite hits the fan.

    1. Thy Jacket and thy ‘Stache, they comfort thee.

      1. Tho’ I walk through the valley of presidential shit peanuts…

    2. I can’t help but wonder how the Jacket must feel about this new development.

    3. I’m wondering if he bought a new home in the San Fernando valley.

  3. No matter how simple or elaborate the wholesale wedding accessories, any bride is sure to shine on her wedding day. But for women who appreciate delicate detailing like lace, beads and sequins, there are a variety of styles and colors cheap yellow evening dresses from which to choose among today’s bridal fashions.Go dramatic in the Organza Tiered Ball Gown with Asymmetrical Ruffles.

  4. No matter how simple or elaborate the wholesale wedding accessories, any bride is sure to shine on her wedding day. But for women who appreciate delicate detailing like lace, beads and sequins, there are a variety of styles and colors cheap yellow evening dresses from which to choose among today’s bridal fashions.Go dramatic in the Organza Tiered Ball Gown with Asymmetrical Ruffles.

  5. my question with these clips is always, Why can’t Spitzer get a normal sized table? They look like adults at the kids table.

    1. Especially since they despise each other.

  6. The jacket is morphing into Charles Bronson.

    1. That would be awesome. He could film Mr. Gillespyk or Once Upon a Time in DC.

      1. StacheWish?

        1. Death Stache 1-8

          1. The Magnificent Stache (+6)

    2. Actually, the jacket and the stash look like they just came from a Village People show, not that there’s anything wrong w/that! 🙂

    3. I just started playing Fallout: New Vegas, and that mustache is one of the facial hair options when building your character.

  7. a juvenile emphasis on treating everything like a sporting event.

    Is this a dig directed at Matt?

    1. Look, it’s *Nick* who gave me the Joe Pepitone bio.

      1. He was just setting you up.

  8. At first I thought that was an excerpt of something you said on the show – and came up with on the spot. Needless to say I was quite impressed.

    Not so impressed now, but still pretty solid.

  9. Nick! Don’t lie. You have a name for your mustache don’t you!

  10. I just don’t know how you can keep from going across the table at The Spitzercrit. Parker’s useless, and contributes nothing, so she’d be collateral damage – I get that.

    But Spitzer? God, he’s loathsome, and a prick to boot. So full marks for not just choking the shit out of him on the spot.

    1. The Jacket wants to, but the Stache was developed as a counterweight.

    2. I was at college with Spitzer, a year ahead of him. He was an insufferable back-stabbing prick at 18.

  11. “‘Skins’ is the most dangerous show that’s ever been foisted on children.”

    Not while “Parker/Spitzer” lives…

  12. I only could stomach about 30 minutes of the SOTU. I found it be turgid, timid, tedious and lacking in alliteration.

    1. “and lacking in alliteration.”
      Gotta be a spoof. And a funny one.

    2. You take that back! Obama is the greatest man who ever lived, even if he won’t plant his seed in me!

      1. You better keep your pitiful bitch ass away from my meal ti- er, husband, Max.

        1. Now, hold on, honey… this might have possibilities.

          1. Come on Barry, let’s take a trip to Chicago.

      2. You better not cheat on me!!!

  13. We do need to win the future!11!

    And in winning, the rest of world loses!!

    JOHN WAYNE, MOTHERFUCKERS, JOHN WAYNE!!!!

    1. I’m gonna rise up,
      I’m gonna kick a little ass,
      Gonna kick some ass in the USA,
      Gonna climb a mountain,
      Gonna sew a flag,
      Gonna fly on an Eagle,
      I’m gonna kick some butt,
      I’m gonna drive a big truck,
      I’m gonna rule this world,
      Gonna kick some ass,
      Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass,
      ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE!

  14. Okay, Obama is a highly accomplished man and the President of the most powerful country in the world.

    …for now. God knows how much less powerful we’ll be when he gets done.

  15. I only perked up once during the whole speech; then I realized, after watching the news commentators, that he DIDN’T say this was “our Spud Webb” moment.

    …which still would have made more sense than the shit he ACTUALLY said…

  16. People watch Parker Spitzer?

    1. Only a few of the family members of the guests and the four or five hookers Spitzer pays to watch.

      1. Yes, and even then, while it’s normally the kind of assurance they would give any customer seeking some kind of human comfort, for Spitzer they do it only because he gets off on it.

        It’s what you would expect from a guy who refuses to remove his mid-calf-length black socks during sex.

        1. So you like to take off your socks when you have sex with a hooker? 😉

          1. Of course; it’s called respect.

          2. Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
            I HATE YOU ALL! I’M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

            reply to this

  17. Nick vs. Barack?

    Hell, for starters, Barack doesn’t even write his own shit.

    1. I’ve been eating peanuts for two weeks. I consider that a form of authorship!

  18. Speaking of failures, they are now using medieval technology to send drugs over the border.

    Drug Catapult Found at U.S.-Mexico Border

    DISCORD AND CONFUSION 2012!!!

    1. Actually, catapults are much older than medieval. Also, if they knew what they were doing they would have built a drug trebuchet.

      1. Are you a “Punkin Chunkin” fan…or some other kink of nerd?

        (I keed. I keed.)

  19. “Obama is a highly accomplished man…”

    What’s so awesome about this is that there are actually people out there that believe this shit.

    1. Kind of scary.

    2. And then there’s people like you who swallow all manner of shit the leaders of the cult dush out.

      1. Pot, kettle. Kettle, pot.

      2. No, Max … we don’t have cult leaders.

        The reason people like Limbaugh and Palin have the following they do, is not because they are some kind of a Pied Piper … it is because they give public voice to what MILLIONS HAVE ALREADY HAVE FIGURED OUT FOR THEMSELVES TO BE TRUE, before they showed up … truths that are pooh-poohed by the Progressive sheeple like yourself, but are truth nonetheless.

        It is you, who are the cult follower … an acolyte of the Cult of Human Omniscience, who believes that your Best and Brightest are sufficiently omniscient to be trusted with the ability to make even the most detailed decisions for 300 million Americans, without recourse in the event they get it wrong … because in your eyes they’re so smart, they won’t.

        You are a disciple of this Cult, because its leaders promise you two things:

        1> You will get what you think you deserve, even if we have to take it by force from someone else who earned it by their efforts.

        2> We’ll not let anyone harsh your mellow with criticism of your recreational and lifestyle choices … even if the criticism is legitimate, and they in no way threaten your right to make those choices.

        Your leaders have led this nation, as we have seen over the last several years, down the path of socio-economic suicide, as we are seeing played out today … even expanding the ability of corporations to oppress us in the only way corporations can, by colluding with government. By growing government, your overlords, er, leaders are creating more of what they regularly decry.

        Be glad we are working to dump their Kool-Aid, before it takes full effect.

        Progressives: the poster children for Romans 1:22.

        1. Coherent, concise and 100% correct.

      3. you can rub it and buff it…

    3. I guess if your kid graduated with a law degree from Harvard, became a US Senator and then President of the United States you would be greatly disappointed in him…

      1. I suppose creating a cult of personality is something to be proud of. But beyond that and subsequently getting elected President, he has accomplished very little. Sorry, but when you are still living on your college resume in your 40s, you haven’t done much.

        Why is it so hard for you to admit the obvious? Obama is a fairly dull product of our elite schools and affirmative action. So what? Why do you continue to want to defend the indefensible idea that he is anything else?

        1. Why do you keep posting as Suki?

          1. So anyone who doesn’t suck Obama’s balls and talk about how smart he is is not Suki? Gee I thought I was on a libertarian website not the daily Kos. My mistake.

          2. So anyone who doesn’t suck Obama’s balls and talk about how smart he is is now Suki? Gee I thought I was on a libertarian website not the daily Kos. My mistake.

            1. Helle,Why do you keep posting as me?

              1. Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
                I HATE YOU ALL! I’M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

                reply to this

                Rectal, why do you keep posting at all?

        2. “when you are still living on your college resume in your 40s, you haven’t done much.”

          Except become a US Senator, President, Nobel Prize winner…You seem to have ignored that part of my post.

          I said when he was running he was one of the lesser accomplished nominees in history (those as I’ve shown he was right about where Lincoln was). But we are in a different age where experience cuts against candidates. People like Kerry, Dole and McCain are actually hurt by their long records of “service” and “accomplishments” while people like Carter, Obama, and Palin for that matter are helped by lacking it.

          1. Long records of service let’s everyone see all your mistakes. Obama was elected because he hadn’t fucked up yet because he hadn’t done anything. Why do you think so many people projected their beliefs onto him. 2012 might kick his ass because he’s done stuff now, almost all of it bad.

          2. “”Except become a US Senator, President, Nobel Prize winner…””

            I’ll take Things based on hope for $100, Alex.

            Nobel prize, that’s funny. It was given to him not because of what he did, but what they hoped he would do.

          3. Surely you’re kidding about the Nobel Prize winner part. That had to be the worst choice ever. Obama hasn’t done jack shit for peace. I also liked the part where he had the man responsible for imprisoning the next Nobel Prize laureate over for dinner.

    4. Whatever else you want to say about him, I think being president counts as “highly accomplished” even if you are a totally shitty president. Accomplished doesn’t necessarily mean that the things you have accomplished are worthwhile or good.

  20. “Well, speaking of last night, that was a tough speech to sit through and try to stomach because the president is so off base in his ideas in how it is he believes government is going to create jobs. Obviously, government growth won’t create any jobs. It’s the private sector that can create the jobs. His theme last night in the State of the Union was the WTF, you know, “Winning the Future,” and I thought OK, that acronym, spot on. There were a lot of WTF moments throughout that speech.”

    Palin about the SOTU on Fox News. You know for alledgedly being clinically retarded and unable to feed herself, she seems to say some pretty funny, truthful things. That is smarter and funnier than anything the Jacket had to say.

    1. Like those old WIN, Whip Inflation Now buttons from some old presidential era.

      1. We totally need those.

    2. The well-placed, strategic use of a cultural vulgarity to make one’s point … something I didn’t expect from her, but is a rather-pleasant surprise. (BTW, it’s a classic tactic, as old as Matthew 23:27 and Galatians 5:12.)

      1. It was pithy and glib. “There were a lot of WTF moments during that speech”. What politician talks like that? That is fantastic.

  21. “Well, speaking of last night, that was a tough speech to sit through and try to stomach because the president is so off base in his ideas in how it is he believes government is going to create jobs. Obviously, government growth won’t create any jobs. It’s the private sector that can create the jobs. His theme last night in the State of the Union was the WTF, you know, “Winning the Future,” and I thought OK, that acronym, spot on. There were a lot of WTF moments throughout that speech.”

    Palin about the SOTU on Fox News. You know for alledgedly being clinically retarded and unable to feed herself, she seems to say some pretty funny, truthful things. That is smarter and funnier than anything the Jacket had to say.

    1. Triple post? John, you been drinking while watching FoxNews again?

      1. Holy shit it was a quadruple post! I can just picture John repeatedly pushing the submit button: “c’mon, c’mon, this important information MUST get out to the libertarians!”

        1. Laughed out loud at this.

        2. That or the IT squirrels posted it multiple times like they do about four or five times a day on here.

          1. In defense of John, they also cause premature ejaculation 😉

            1. Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
              I HATE YOU ALL! I’M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

              reply to this

          2. and hair loss

          3. “”That or the IT squirrels posted it multiple times like they do about four or five times a day on here.””

            It’s a glich, sort of like when something changes in the Matrix. Everyone watch your backs.

  22. “Well, speaking of last night, that was a tough speech to sit through and try to stomach because the president is so off base in his ideas in how it is he believes government is going to create jobs. Obviously, government growth won’t create any jobs. It’s the private sector that can create the jobs. His theme last night in the State of the Union was the WTF, you know, “Winning the Future,” and I thought OK, that acronym, spot on. There were a lot of WTF moments throughout that speech.”

    Palin about the SOTU on Fox News. You know for alledgedly being clinically retarded and unable to feed herself, she seems to say some pretty funny, truthful things. That is smarter and funnier than anything the Jacket had to say.

    1. “””Obviously, government growth won’t create any jobs. It’s the private sector that can create the jobs.”””

      Government growth does create jobs, else there’s no argument about the increase of people on the federal payroll. But it increases job paid for by tax revenue, so it not the kinda of jobs we should be creating. We should roll back the job growth in government to a much more reasonable level.

      Just sayin.

      1. just like a perpetual motion machine?

  23. “Well, speaking of last night, that was a tough speech to sit through and try to stomach because the president is so off base in his ideas in how it is he believes government is going to create jobs. Obviously, government growth won’t create any jobs. It’s the private sector that can create the jobs. His theme last night in the State of the Union was the WTF, you know, “Winning the Future,” and I thought OK, that acronym, spot on. There were a lot of WTF moments throughout that speech.”

    Palin about the SOTU on Fox News. You know for alledgedly being clinically retarded and unable to feed herself, she seems to say some pretty funny, truthful things. That is smarter and funnier than anything the Jacket had to say.

  24. I forgot to mention that Gillespie walks around with a copy of Atlas Shrugged shoved up his ass. That’s sort of an accomplishment.

    1. Beats suffering from the craniorectal occlusion you appear to be afflicted with.

    2. Nobody gives a fuck what you forgot, Presidential Shit Peanuts.

      1. P.S.P. yeah, you know me…

  25. Not for me! When you saw Gillespie’s ass, you were so turned on that I ended up walking bowlegged for three weeks!!!

  26. Quality blog-whoring

    If you’re on tumblr consider following me like so many teenage girls around the world, hipster housewives, transvestites, and self-described pr0n addicts do!

  27. You had me at the jacket, man.
    The flavor saver is delightfully gratuitous.

        1. Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
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          1. I want to know what else I said

  28. How about instead of “Win The Future” it be

    “Surging Towards Future Understanding”?

  29. So is Komrade Zer?’s _Residency…

    1. Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your cryptic newsletter.

      1. more like
        “surging towards frontal lobotomy”

  30. God, Parker/Spitzer suck: what’s the opposite of talking? Waiting to talk! They can’t inject their drivel over the guest’s point quick enough. Unfargingwatchable.

    1. If they sucked, I’d actually watch

      1. Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
        I HATE YOU ALL! I’M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

        reply to this

  31. Nick — Whats up with the pimp stash ?????

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