Reason Morning Links: Obama Executive Order on Indefinite Detention, CIA WTF, Senate Will Pass START

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NEXT: Is Julian Assange a Journalist?

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  1. White House to issue executive order formalizing indefinite detention.

    Mmmm… that Obama-brand Hope & Change? is just the wake up meal I need in the mornings.

    1. With a hot side of “However, almost every part of the administration’s plan to close Guantanamo is on hold.”

      Hooray, breakfast!

      1. I’m doing the best I can.

  2. WAKE UP PEOPLE! BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY!

    also, wtf task force? More than ever reality eclipses the onion. Unprecedented times.

    1. I hereby decree that all meals from this date forward be referred to as breakfast!

      Let them eat pancakes!!!

      Now, where did I put that pesky guillotine…

      1. What about us over here in the French breakfast division?

        1. Have you no respect for the breakfast heirarchy, crepes? Get back to the specialty menu before we smoother you with Germany’s finest SS Maple Syrup.

  3. “The federal government will face serious challenges, inefficiency, and waste operating under this Continuing Resolution, but these problems will be miniscule when compared to the draconian cuts that the incoming Republican House will try to implement in March,” said Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii). “For over a year now, Republicans have vowed to cut $100 billion from non-defense discretionary spending if elected. For the first time, Republicans must reveal their plan.”

    The horror.

    The horror!

    1. It’s ten times more scary than spiders in your hair!

    2. “in a world….”

    3. The irony would be if the plan was to pack up and go home from Japan, Germany, Iraq, and Afghanistan.

      1. If that were the case, it would be hilarious watching the democrats try to come up with some sort of reaction to it without sounding like complete hypocrites.

        *sigh* If only…

  4. CIA launches Wikileaks Task Force. Note the acronym.

    FTW

    Obama to sign Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell repeal today.

    The terrorists have won. Or maybe lost. I don’t know which. Regardless, there will now be gay people in the military. A totally new situation.

    Senate gets 11 Republicans to pass START treaty.

    Is this a situation where we are applauding bipartisanship or lamenting it? I’ve lost track.

    1. I can’t resist the urge to point out that WTF is not a true acronym, since the letters are not pronounced as a word such as NASA. To make WTF an acronym, you would have to pronounce it “wuttuff” or some such thing.

      Sorry, folks. It’s like Tourette’s. I couldn’t help it.

    1. Yet another market design free of government intervention… for now.

  5. Paging Joe….paging Joe….

    Hugo Chavez: CommuNazi
    …Also happy will be former Nation publisher and editor-in-chief Victor Navasky, now a major professor at the Columbia University School of Journalism. Sent to Venezuela in in 2007 by the Committee to Protect Journalists, a group that set up an investigation of Chavez’s war against a free press, Navasky reported that he would go, although he explained, “I knew Ch?vez was overwhelmingly popular with the poor and I wasn’t interested in participating in an anti-Ch?vez hit job, even in the worthy cause of human rights.” …

    1. AWESOME!

    2. I wasn’t interested in participating in an anti-Ch?vez hit job, even in the worthy cause of human rights

      Savor the principles of the hard left.

      1. They do embrace the major principle of will to power.

        1. Hey, the only bad thing about Stalin was all the people he had to kill.

          1. Hey, you know, eggs, omelettes, etc.

            1. WAFFLES! BLINTZES! CREPES!

              1. What’s good?

          2. Typical anti-communist rhetoric usually comes from white people. It’s racist, to boot.

            Then again, EVERYTHING Whitey does is racist.

        2. They do embrace the major principle of will to power.

          Would that be this principle?

    3. I like where THIS Is headed!

  6. Reason somehow missed this story, which rated a full front page in the NY Daily News:

    http://www.nydailynews.com/gos…..otfet.html

    1. Deadspin has a screenshot of one of her profiles from a foot fetish website. The intro says:

      My wife is a knockout, she has tiny tits but 2 inch nipples, and she has a hairy blounde pussy. She has perfect size 5 feet for you foot lovers and a great ass! I love womens feet and want to watch my wife take a big one in all 3 holes!

      Damn, I’m almost tempted to root for Rex… no, I can’t do it. Anyone associated with the Ravens is dead to me.

      1. Those Deadspin guys are some strange fuckers, with their bizarre obsession with the sex lives of athletes and all that garbage.

      2. My mind can’t decide whether to be aroused or disturbed and seems to have settled on quiet confusion.

        1. I’m fairly certain that someone from Kissing Suzy Kolbert is playing a very, very elaborate joke.

  7. Earlier, somebody on the teevee was gnashing his teeth and rending his garments about how can the nation possibly survive without the additional $100 million the SEC so desperately needs to write all the new regs called for by Dodd-Frank.

    Repent!

    The END is upon us!

    1. I’d love to put in some sort of trap-door legislation in which anyone who complains about inadequate funding outside of a budget hearing gets their department totally defunded.

      1. I can support this, but would want an exemption for any dept in an oversight capacity. I seem to remember Obama’s admin essentially defunding some IG’s to prevent them from heir work.

        1. IGs should be given letters of marque and powers to seize wasted funds. Standard prize ratios apply.

  8. Henry Louis Mencken quote of the day:

    Laws multiply in the land. They grow more and more idiotic and oppressive. Swarms of scoundrels are let loose to harass honest men. The liberties that the Fathers gave us are turned into mockeries.

    1. “So it was with the Republic at its height. Like the greatest of trees, able to withstand any external attack, the Republic rotted from within though the danger was not visible from outside.

      “Aided and abetted by restless, power-hungry individuals within the government, and the massive organs of commerce, the ambitious Senator Palpatine caused himself to be elected President of the Republic. He promised to reunite the disaffected among the people and to restore the remembered glory of the Republic.

      “Once secure in office he declared himself Emperor, shutting himself away from the populace. Soon he was controlled by the very assistants and boot-lickers he had appointed to high office, and the cries of the people for justice did not reach his ears.

      “Having exterminated through treachery and deception the Jedi Knights, guardians of justice in the galaxy, the Imperial governors and bureaucrats prepared to institute a reign of terror among the disheartened worlds of the galaxy. Many used the imperal forces and the name of the increasingly isolated Emperor to further their own personal ambitions.”

      Star Wars by George Lucas, page 1, prologue

      1. Yeah, whatever. If you’re trying to tell me a bunch of boot-lickers and lackeys could control a Sith Lord, you’ve lost all credibility. The guy threw Samuel L. Jackson out a window. Samuel L. Jackson, man. Out. A. Fucking. Window!

        1. Oh yeah? You probably think Greedo shot first…

          1. Please don’t get me started on Greedo. BTW, wasn’t he one of little Annakin’s friends in Episode I?

            1. I assumed that was just some random Rodian urchin.

              1. Are you suggesting that all Rodians look alike?

        2. Yeah-the emporer was just isolated and manipulated and Vader was pining for his lost love.

          Star Wars was great when both of those jokers were bad guys. Guys who embraced their inner evil and crushed those who opposed them. When Lucas got all “redemption of the father figure” the whole franchise went to shit.

          I fucking hate George Lucas.

          1. Then he felt compelled to destroy Indiana Jones with some alien skull bullshit. The man is truly a skidmark on the underpants of Hollywierd.

            Oh, and Speilberg, too. Fuck that asshole as well.

            1. There was no 4th Indiana Jones movie.

              1. “I haven’t even told Steven or Harrison this,” Lucas told Fox News. “But I have an idea to make Shia [LeBeouf] the lead character next time and have Harrison [Ford] come back like Sean Connery did in the last movie. I can see it working out.”

                1. oh fuck year! The last last crusade (fo realz this time lol)! I can’t wait! I’m wankering in anticipation!

                2. Yeah, well he thought Jar Jar Binks would work out, and everyone agrees on the sucktitude of that brilliant fucking idea.

                  1. OK, Wind Rider. You ina da big doo-doo now. Yooza goin’ to da bosses.

      2. Attention all planets of the Solar Federation. We have assumed control.

        1. When’s the next Train to Bangkok?

          1. When the Priests of the Temples of Syrnix say so, weakling!

    2. If Mencken were alive today, he’d be working for Karl Rove and the Kochtopus.

  9. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot are they thinking? CIA… more like Central Lack of Intelligence Agency (if you get that reference, give yourself a cookie)

    1. I don’t need to “get” references I have google. And that particular one was terrible. Thanks for wasting part of my life.

      1. like your time has any value, get over yourself, my textured nemesis.

      2. googling “Central Lack of Intelligence Agency” is a sure-fire way to get a Crown Victoria parked across the street for the next few weeks and a Lo-Jack affixed to your car frame.

  10. Why doesn’t Obama just sign an assasination order for Assange? Simple, cost effective, centralized, and denying individual rights- everything the Left stands for.

    1. Since when has the Left stood for “cost effective”

      1. {very slowly clapping]

      2. Gah! I am slain!

  11. Rich people can move away from higher tax regimes… Oregonian granola eaters surprised.

    1. This is a big part of the reason why population continues to move away from the northeast to the outposts of freedom in the south and west.

  12. Why doesn’t Obama just sign an assasination order for Assange?

    My money’s on the Syrian, at the train station, with a poison-tipped umbrella.

    1. They’re gonna mount Michelle’s thigh master on a drone…

    2. True artistry would be to assassinate him with some kind of leak: say, a gas leak in his apartment.

    3. My money’s on the Syrian, at the train station, with a poison-tipped umbrella.

      I actually read this as “My mom’s on the Sybian, at the train station with a poison-tipped umbrella.” I believe it works better, but I really don’t know your mother.

  13. Congress passes last-minute stop-gap budget.

    It’s probably something the lawmakers learn at school – you know, preparing a project or term paper the very last day before it’s due… shit like that.

  14. The Pell issue was one where Democrats and the White House drew the line. “We told them it was a deal-breaker,” Obey said, and without added funds, the maximum per-student grant for next year faced a one-third cut in the 2011-12 college years.

    You know why this was a deal breaker? Because they care about the poor kids who want to go to college? No. Because colleges and universities are as much a part of the governing mafia as are the public sector unions. College costs too much in part because the government subsidizes students.

    I predict a coming implosion of the entire higher education bubble – it’s insane to deliver education the way we are delivering it given the advances and cost cutting made possible by technology. Enjoy those sinecures while they last, fat and happy university administrators. The end is near.

    1. It reminded me of one of those third-world dictatorships where even the opposition candidates effusively praise the virtues of the glorious leader against whom they run.

    2. I never worry so much about the college indoctrination of students. Arts and humanities may be infested with outright communists, but it’s a career chosen only by those few students that have no problem living barely above poverty. Business and med schools feature an atmosphere devoid of Marxism, and law at least provides non-leftist options.

    1. I suspected all along that the bullet in the head was just a diversion.

  15. Obama to sign “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” repeal today.

    Recruiter officer: So, can I ask now???

    1. Mm, you ask and I’ll tell you ALLLL about it, honey!

      1. “Are you married, single, divorced, or homo?”

        1. There’s always “divorced from a homo”.

  16. For the government itself, all cabinet departments will remain effectively frozen at 2010 spending levels for the next 10 weeks …. This is a hardship most for the Departments of Defense, State and Homeland Security

    Suck on it, biotches!

  17. Scratch that, prosecutors are apparently immune from malicious prosecution. Go America!

  18. Here’s an interesting WTF story for all of you who are part of the Assflange personality cult.

    “Assange’s Swedish lawyer, Bjorn Hurtig, said he would file a formal complaint with the Swedish authorities over the leaked police files and request an investigation into how the leak happened.”

    *facepalm*

  19. “I do not know who has given these documents to the media, but the purpose can only be one thing ? trying to make Julian look bad.”

    Assflange’s lawyer. Is this a comedy sketch I’ve missed? A man who selectively leaks secret documents to to make America look bad and threaten the lives of every brave person who tried to help it whines like a baby now… somebody selectively leaks private data to make him look bad.

    The left has never understood irony, has it?

    1. Assflange

      Only slightly better than “Ass Angel”. You people need to improve.

      1. Thanks for not adresssing the issue at all. YOU people most certaonly don’t need to improve. And Assflange is much better; Ass Angel doesn’t sound anything like Assange.

        And to you people who have the gall to call yourself libertarians do you know that this cretin has stated, openly and honestly, that his goal is not the sacred cause of “government transparency” (read: giving away the names of informants that the Taliban are now hunting down) but to destroy the United States?

        Libertarians. My. Aching. Arse.

        1. destroy the government of the united states ? destroy the united states

        2. Why would you think that anyone here gives a fuck about Assange? Whether or not he is an OK guy or has motiviations I might agree with has nothing to do with the value of Wikileaks and similar organizations.

          I think you need to drink something too.

      2. I kinda like “ass angel”, not for the homophobic insult, but more because “ass/angel” is a good description of my evaluation of the guy. But writing it with a slash makes that clearer.

    2. I just wonder why he refers to himself in the third person there.

    3. A man who selectively leaks secret documents to to make America look bad

      I can’t speak for the rest of America, but personally, I emerged smelling relatively clean. What say the rest of you folks?

      1. You know god damn well what I mean. Assange admits he wants to destroy the United States. And that means spoiled brats like you too. You people are just as annoying as leftists who praise Islamofascists. “They want to kill us? No! They’re heroic freedom fighters! The US government is to blame! They’re ALWAYS to blame!”

        1. Get over yourself, shitfuck. I’m tickled pink whenever Wikileaks does something to hurt the US government. Quick, show me your RIGHTEOUS ANGERS.

          1. Shitfuck. Classy. I’m sure those people who risked their lives to support Coalition forces while you were sitting comfortably in front of your computer and are now being tracked down by Islamist murderers weren’t “tickled pink” after their names were leaked. I feel like puking right now.

            1. “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

              1. *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* Ow, my head. Stop. This. Fucking. Bullshit. Freedom of speech means the freedom to criticize, it does NOT mean the freedom to release anything and everything that has secret written on it. If I got ahold of the detailed design plans of a nuclear weapon or a gas centrifuge, congress’s obligation not to suppress my freedom to “assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances” would not. Give me the right. To. Fucking. PRINT THEM! How fucking thick are you fucking people? Fucking hell.

                1. MAYBE. If you! Try to. EXPLAIN! It. Again. Like THIS!!!!!!!! But. With. SHORTER! Words. You’ll. Convince. Us. We’re. Pretty. Thick.

                  1. Very clever. I don’t feel like explaining it for the millionth time. Maybe if I try to explain in simpler terms then?

                    Giving away secrets help people who kill us not same criticize government. Understand what me say?

                    1. You’re more spirited than most of the dipshit trolls we get here. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

                      But after that, I’m going to give your address to the Taliban.

                    2. Oh bravo. Bravo. If I wanted to be called a “troll” by a person incapable of rational debate or refuting my argument I’d go go to Moonbattery.com.

                    3. If you want to think I was debating with you, you go right ahead. You totally pwned me, too. Now fuck off home and enjoy your big win.

                2. “it does NOT mean the freedom to release anything and everything that has secret written on it”

                  It’s an inevitable consequence when government starts abusing its powers of secrecy to undermine democratic and even judicial oversight. Al Qaeda is a minor threat to me, the U.S. government going fascist is a big one.

                  1. “Al Qaeda is a minor threat to me, the U.S. government going fascist is a big one.”

                    Well then, you’re out of your mind. But thanks for the support you useful filthy kafir, we’d have been curbstomped by the full force of the big bad US military long ago if it wasn’t for people like you! Keep up the good work!

                    O bin L

                3. it does NOT mean the freedom to release anything and everything that has secret written on it.

                  So if the government decides to write “secret” on everything, does that mean that we have no right to know?

                4. Don’t worry, scrote. There are plenty of ‘tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was ‘tarded. She’s a pilot now.

            2. Who should we blame?

              Let’s start with government that classifies everything including the breakfast menu.

              Next, let’s move on to the goverment agencies that created a monster database with no segregation of content and gave 10s, even 100s, of thousands of people with minimal, and I mean minimal, security screening access to all of it.

              Of course, we can’t forget the man in uniform that directly committed treason by downloading content and delivering it to a foreign national.

              So it’s obvious to me that we should dump all the reponsibility on the foreign national that committed no crime in acquiring the data or publishing it outside the US borders.

              1. “Let’s start with government that classifies everything including the breakfast menu.”

                List of people who helped the Coalition forces fight for their freedom who will now be killed since their names have been released != breakfast list.

                1. Went right over your head didn’t it?

                  1. Errr… yeah? And well done on yet another fantastic rebuttal to my argument.

                    1. I can confirm that that did go right over his head.

        2. You know god damn well what I mean.

          I don’t, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

          You people are just as annoying as leftists who praise Islamofascists.

          No, you’re just as annoying as leftists who praise Islamofascists except for completely different reasons, times infinity! I win!

    4. Plus she says he was the world’s worst screw. That does not surprise me at all.

  20. Ricky knows a little something about third person references…

    In 1996, Henderson’s first season with San Diego, he boarded the team bus and was looking for a seat. Steve Finley said, “You have tenure, sit wherever you want.” Henderson looked at Finley and said, “Ten years? Ricky’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”

    1. Jimmy’s not threatened by Ricky’s sexuality!

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