Politics

Politics Ain't Beanbag; It's Dog Shit. Literally.

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Joe Sestak is the Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania. He's running against Pat Toomey and he's got dog shit on the brain. Seriously.

Sestak, who's down but close in the polls, defends his bank bailout vote as the only means available to clean up the "mess" left behind by Bush and Toomey, who was himself a U.S. rep from 1999 to 2005, when he term-limited himself (though he's making his second bid at a Senate seat this time around).

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  1. Do politicians ever have a little voice in their heads that says “You know, maybe you shouldn’t be doing this“?

    1. I … was … hanging … on … his … every … word.

      1. No disrespect.

  2. And you know what? Toomey and our enemies drove all of us into a ditch, and now they want us to grab a shovel and dig them out of that shit hole!

    1. When’s a libertarian politician gonna be smart enough to claim regular Americans own the tow-truck concession and the car both parties have been driving is being reposessed?

      (I just made that up, too!)

      1. Nice! If I weren’t in hiding so I can’t say something really stupid before the election, I’d so use that!

  3. Many, many moons ago I worked for Joe Sestak.

    He’s an overbearing pretentious asshole who feigns expertise on matters he is woefully ignorant of.

    It came as no surprise when I discovered he had entered politics.

    1. Were you his…um…cabana boy?

      1. I was a senior firecontrolman, he was the Weapons Officer.

        He was the second worst officer I ever worked for.

        1. On the USS Hoel, DDG-13 if anyone gives a shit.

          1. I give at least one shit daily, and I have to ask: who was the worst officer you ever worked for, and is he running for anything that we should know about? 2012 is right around the corner…

    2. He has a very strange persona on TV, that of the grinning mannequin who recites Democratic talking points.

    3. Was this during his time as an admiral in the Navy?

      (Unfortunately, watching any TV program in PA over the past week automatically imparts an intimate knowledge of every candidate’s biography, favorite foods, attached earlobes or lack thereof, and whether they pass gas while they sleep)

      1. I’ll be honest. This election cycle has produced some seriously funny ads. Not intentionally funny, mind you.

        I just wish the Republicans running for office were half as nefarious as the Democrats make them out to be. I honestly would love to vote for a candidate who wanted to privatize Social Security and implement a “23% sales tax.”

  4. I’ve yet to hear Sestak or any of the others who say “Bush drove us into a ditch” explain how so in any rational and factual manner. Outsiders (e.g. libertarians)would have to conclude there’s at least a bi-partisan whiff to the mess and ask the Dems to describe the measures they introduced
    beginning in 2006 to head off the collapse of the financial sector.

    1. They’d have at least a smidgen of credibility if they equally blamed Clinton, considering that when they try to explain their opposition, they tend to fall back on laws that they don’t really understand that were actually adopted under Clinton.

      Clinton: Gramm-Leach-Bailey
      Bush: Sarbanes-Oxley

      Now, if they start explaining that the problem was that Bush regulation messed up all that excellent Clinton deregulation, I might be amused.

  5. I’ve yet to hear Sestak or any of the others who say “Bush drove us into a ditch” explain how so in any rational and factual manner.

    The banking sector was totally deregulated the day after Boosh’s inauguration. Why, the bank tellers were wearing bandanna masks and sixguns! And bank vice presidents all carried big black sacks with “SWAG” stenciled on them, instead of briefcases.

  6. I was forced to spend billions of dollars on killing mongooses because george bush personally went out and slaughtered millions of snakes, which at the time i actually had voted for but,it was still all his fault, so vote for me.

  7. Is there a more hopeless,hapless, helpless group of people other than elected representatives?

    If I didn’t vote for TARP, babies, babies I tells ya, would have their eyes gouged out! And their penises whacked off (not in a good way), at least those who have penises.

    Not one congressperson could propose a solution other than TARP??? Or better yet, propose that it is a profit and LOSS system, and the bankers, and the idiots who bought bonds from them, should suffer a LOSS, because they are….oh, what’s the word…….stoopid!!!! (because none of them understood that loans have to be paid back to MAKE MONEY…this finance stuff is sooooo complicated)

  8. I’ll get back to you when I’m done with my Slurpee.

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