Reason Morning Links: Chilean Miners Safe, Apple Patents "Sexting" Block, Fines for Unlocked Doors


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    1. This:

      The study results demonstrated the need for retailers to inform consumers of the caffeine content in ready-to-drink coffee because many of the beverages contain a high amount, said Michael F. Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest in Washington, D.C.

      1. I sense a new 23,000 employee regulatory agency on the horizon

      2. When is this cumstain going to die?

    2. “Coffee drinkers might have to live with uncertainty”

      FSM knows, we can’t have ANYONE living with uncertainty. Let me get my crash helmet and flame-retardant jammies…

      1. But the uncertainty is even worse for those uncertain coffee consumers, what with being hopped up on the caffeine and all.

    3. That McDonald’s story has to be complete bullshit.

  1. Positive HIV test brings porn production to a halt.


    1. Oh yes. This line struck me:

      “In recent years, advocates and health officials have tussled with porn producers and free speech advocates over the use of condoms in adult films.”

      Apparently, some are concerned that porn stars are not being proper role models for teh childernz.

      1. It’s fucking amazing when we need to conform activities not designed for children so that they are “child ready”.

  2. Well, that Singapore story will be useful when people start sucking its cock because of its “successful” government micromanagement.


    Public sees Democratic Party as dominated by extremists. The self delusion in this article is hysterical.

    “Democrats haven’t nominated anyone like Sharron Angle or Rand Paul or Christine O’Donnell or Rob Johnson or Joe Miller for Senate seats, much less the myriad of wackos in House races across the country,” said Markos Moulitsas, founder and publisher of Daily Kos, one of the nation’s largest liberal blogs. “We don’t have media figures like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh calling the shots for our party.

    “But they have built their alternate world courtesy of Fox News, thus making them impervious to reality. Is that a problem? Sure. Even more so when Democrats think they can reason with this crowd,” said Moulitsas, a contributing columnist for The Hill.”

    I can’t tell you how happy that worthless little bastard’s tears make me.

    1. Democrats haven’t nominated anyone like Sharron Angle or Rand Paul or Christine O’Donnell or Rob Johnson or Joe Miller for Senate seats

      What’s the name of that guy in South Carolina again?

      1. They just have Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid running Congress. Nothing extreme about that.

        1. Now I remember him.

        2. Yes, I’m sure Barbara Lee (D-Berkeley) is just a sensible, moderately progressive politician to Markos.

          1. Don’t forget the 8th district of Florida.

          2. I’m glad you’ve heard of my congresswoman. Has she said or done something you think is extreme, or is the mere word “Berkeley” enough to get you going?

            1. I’m in San Francisco, bub, and used to live in Oakland, so I’m familiar with her. For one thing, she wants to create a “Department of Peace.” Apparently she’s not familiar with what the Department of State is supposed to do.

    2. Did the writer ignore the SC race?

      1. He was just quoting the Daily Kos guy who thinks that Bernie Sanders is a centrist. No one on their side is ever extreme in their eyes.

    3. Well, in his defense, if the Democrat party was dominated by its extremists, they would have put out a single-payer health care bill instead of Obamacare, would have immediately withdrawn from Iraq and Afghanistan after the inauguration, would have tried Bush and Cheney for war crimes, would have brought Cap and Trade and Card Check to floor votes, etc.

      1. You make a fair point, although not sure in Kos world that even the things you describe would be considered extremist. I think people look at them as extremists as much as anything because of their language and attitude.

        Think of it this way, if I walk into a room and tell you “Fuck you Fluffy, you are an ignorant gun clinging extremist, I won the election so here is how it is going to be” aren’t you more likely to view me as an extremist even if I don’t quite do every crazy thing you think I will? In contrast, if come in and kill you with kindness and talk to you and make you feel like you have a say in things, you are probably not going to view me as an extremist even if I do a few really extreme things.

        That is what is happening here. 45% or more of the country didn’t vote for Obama. And many of those who did voted for him because they were mad at Bush. The country didn’t vote for a partisan President. They thought they were voting for hope and change. I think a lot of people voted for Obama because they just wanted a lot of the partisan ugliness to go away. Instead of embracing that and soft talking the country, the Democrats told the country “we won” and muscled there policies through on party line votes. It is their attitude as much as their actions that make people view them as extremist.

        1. Obama said in the campaign he was gonna do health care. He won. Not only did the Dems have a right to pass a health care bill, they had a responsibility to the voters to do it.

          As for the party-line nature of the vote, well, you can lead a Republican caucus to water by diluting your bill and paying off the special interests, but you can’t make ’em drink. Mitch McConnell sold his party on total opposition and obstruction, and that’s the policy they followed. Short of waterboarding him, which is not something Democrats do, I don’t know what Obama is supposed to have done to get a different result.

          1. He had a responsibility to pass a law that was and still is HIGHLY unpopular to the American public just because he won?

            Has his name been changed to King Shit or something?

      2. Thank you. Yes. Though I naturally disagree with you about how extreme some of those things are. (Cap and trade, in particular, is not optional if we want our children to have a planet to live on.)

    4. “I can’t tell you how happy that worthless little bastard’s tears make me.”

      Yes. Yes, indeed!

  4. Police chief suggests fines for unlocked cars.

    If it weren’t for dickheads like you, there wouldn’t be any thievery in this world, now would there, Private Pyle?

    Also, via Lew Rockwell, Mr. T wants you to sell your gold to him…or something, I’m not quite sure.

    1. Take a gander at this d-bags picture, and tell me that he doesn’t need some snazzy SS lapel pins to complete his ensemble.

    2. Seriously read the article. His reasoning is right there. Cocaine in your car. This ordinance is clearly a ploy to circumvent illegal searches. They HAVE to go onto/into your property because it was unlocked.

      What a fucking douche.

    3. What a piker!

      We’ve had the same stupid law here in sunny MN for years.

      You can also get a ticket for letting your car run unattended. So it is your civic duty to sit in your car in sub-zero weather rather than just start it and wait inside while it warms up.

  5. When I lived in NJ, there was a city nearby where the locals actually suggested leaving your car unlocked.

    For, otherwise, the thieves would just smash your window.

    1. I once had my car unlocked on the street for a couple days. Bastards smashed my windshield and didn’t steal my stuff. wtf?

    2. During my formative years, I regularly drove cars that I didn’t lock because breaking a window would have totaled the car.

      I never left anything of value inside and worked on the theory that any douche bag that wanted to rip me off would open the door poke around and then leave.

      My best day ever was when I came up as someone was rooting around my car and they ran off leaving behind a bunch of nice tools that they were planning on using to pull my radio (like that was worth anything).

      1. I’ve always subscribed to the notion that if I leave trash in my car and make it look like a house from hoarders no one is going to root through it for anything. They can steal my trash, so long as they don’t bash my window in.

        Of course that was just rationalization for being lazy as shit.

      2. I knew someone who was tired of his radio being stolen, so he duct-taped some razor blades to the sides, right where someone reaching under the dash would grab it. One day his car was broken into, but the radio was still there. He had to clean up the blood on the carpet, but he was OK with that.

        1. ROFL!

          For some reason I’m reminded of Pam Grier weaponizing her afro in Coffy.

        2. I heard you can get sued by the “victim” for doing that.

          1. Really? “Arrest him, officer! I broke into his car to steal his radio and cut myself badly!”

  6. When I lived in NJ, there was a city nearby where the locals actually suggested leaving your car unlocked.

    Many years ago, I was walking down some side street in Manhattan and saw a convertible (possibly a Mercedes) with a sign in the window: “Doors are not locked. Please don’t slash my top.”

    1. That is just horrible. Reason number 1,878,715 why all law abiding citizens should be required to carry a gun. If slashing someone’s top put you at risk of having a .45 shoved up your ass, the world would be a much more civilized place.

      1. WRONG! Forced use of public transportation would solve all these problems.

      2. [The police chief said,] “What I’m trying to address is the criminal element coming into our community.”

        Hey, so am I!

      3. AHEM!

        “an armed society is a polite society”

      4. If slashing someone’s top put you at risk of having a .45 shoved up your ass, the world would be a much more civilized place.

        In this case, carrying a gun has limited value, unless one were to continuously guard the car.

        1. I think he’s implying it should be a civic duty.

    2. My “fun” spare car is a 20 year-old Mazda Miata worth about $3,000 total. I know other Miata owners who have had their ragtop slashed – including one woman who had left her doors unlocked, but apparently the thief was too stupid to try the door handle.

      I never leave anything of value in mine and never lock the doors, for that reason. A new top costs about $500, and if you have the shop install it, the labor is about another $400. I’d rather have the scumbag open the door, root around inside and find nothing in there than have the top slashed.

    3. Back in the day when I had an MG Midget, that is exactly the line I took. I did not go as far as putting up a sign, but I never locked my doors becuase I did not want my roof slashed.

  7. Apple patents device that would prevent sending and receiving of sex-themed text messages.

    Will they block the phrase, “vast tracts of land”?

    1. What about “kosher salami”?

      1. and “mushroom, not anteater”

    2. “Hey, let’s do something ‘user appropriate’.”

    3. What’s the over/under for how long this will work. 0.0000000000001 seconds?

      1. The Saudi prince went on to say how this was his favorite manservant after Argyle, the greatest ghoul to ever climb out of Rockopolis.

        1. Speaking of which, isn’t FONV going to release, like, real soon now?

          1. Yeah, in 5 days.

      2. He’s trying to use the Bedouin notion that slaves and servants really DO (or DID, earlier last century, at least) travel with their masters as complete equals.

        No one should buy it, since Saudi princes have had all the Bedouin pampered out of them, but the attempted explanation of that part of the story rings somewhat true.

  8. The best thing to do if you are concerned about your car being broken into is to get a really shitty car and fill it with garbage.

    1. In other words, just do what comes naturally, you gorram slobs.

  9. I bet the Apple block doesnt work if the message is encrypted. Some public/private key encryption on all your text messages and you are good to go.

    1. I haven’t read the patent, but it doesn’t sound like it covers photos.

  10. Chief Nestel should be fired immediately for suggesting such a bullshit idea. Ooh, crime is bad, so let’s threaten and punish regular citizens, because gee it’s hard to actually deal with real criminals. Fuck him.

    1. Did you check out the photo of that guy? His cop cap looks exactly like an SS officer’s cap – seriously here, not trying to Godwin or anything.

      I do know that it is a historical fact that the NJ State Trooper’s uniform was based, in part, on SS uniforms – they purposely wanted the uniform to be intimidating. But this dude’s head cover looks way more like the old SS peaked cap.

      1. Got the same visual. He just needs some snazzy SS lapel pins to complete the ensemble.

    2. “I wouldn’t care if it was a $5 fine my sorry ass got canned, as long as it got people to lock their doors.”

    3. This.

      Too bad he didn’t suggest fines for unlocked chastity belts.

      1. Honestly, it sounds like the kind of nonsense they pull in U.K. on a daily basis.

    4. “I’m amused at the constitutional law references,” he (Nestel) said, noting that he co-taught a criminology course at the University of Pennsylvania that covered constitutional procedure. Nestel, who was a Philadelphia police officer for 22 years and boasts three master’s degrees, said he was a candidate for a doctorate in criminology.

      He’s so amused by the Constituional issues.

  11. Lock your car, or else.

    For the children.


    A few weeks ago a bunch of you told me that cursive writing need not be taught in schools anymore. I found the prospect horrifying. Apparently, there is more to learning to write than just writing. The process has strange and very positive effects on cognitive development.

    1. The article talks about handwriting in general. Not cursive.

      I have no use for cursive. I write the currency amount of my checks in cursive out of habit and that’s it.

      1. All of the examples given are of cursive. It is not clear, but I have always understood the term “hand writing” to mean cursive as opposed to “printing”. I am afraid you aversion to cursive has probably stunted your cognitive development. But don’t worry, it says adults can still benefit from it.

        1. The image at the top of the article says “The Wall Street” in printed letters.

    2. Writing in cursive is pointless unless you’re using an old-timey fountain pen, but obviously it’s important to write by hand. I always write anything important by hand before I type it.

    3. Wernstrom: A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!
      Farnsworth: I’m sorry, but penmanship counts.
      Wernstrom: I swear I’ll have my revenge, even if it takes me a hundred years!

    4. Come to think of it, though, my handwriting probably counts as cursive in some sense, since a lot of my letters flow together. Of course, it’s illegible chickenscratch to anyone but me, but I think of that as a security measure.

      1. Ditto. Being a lefty (handed, not politically), cursive was a huge pain in the ass for me. But block printing is so slow and childish-looking. So a hybrid of the two occurred at some point for me.

        1. You mean WRONG handed, you sinister bastard.

      2. My writing is a hybrid as well. In many ways, it’s more cursive than print, though if I slow down and try to write legibly, it’s all print.

    5. Computers and typing have turned me into a complete failure at any type of handwriting.

      When I try to work with my kids on their homework, their handwriting is leap years ahead of me.

      The only thing I am even close to being neat about is math problems. Too many hours burnt up in engineering classes because I was sloppy. Learned the hard way to show my work.

      1. the only way I could ever get through math and math heavy economics classes was to go through the book and work every problem with pen and paper by hand and hand write an outline of the book. Writing it down was the only way I ever learned. I don’t see how people who are not just super geniuses learn math without working out with a pen and paper.

        1. Its pretty actually…oh wait people who are not just super geniuses … nevermind, you covered my method.

          1. If I had hand written the above message, I wouldnt have left out the word easy.

          2. +1 for dickage…

          3. I actually had the Poincare Conjecture solved before Perelman, but I didn’t feel like writing it down.

            1. I have a clever proof, but too long for these margins.

    6. If I really need to remember something, I write it on a piece of paper (and then throw the paper away). The act of writing seems to put the information in a more secure part of my feeble memory.

      But I don’t write anything except checks anymore. I print the check and only use cursive for the signature (which is totally illegible to anyone including myself).

      1. We truely have devolved back to the “X” mark for signatures…not just doctors either. I CAN write cursive neatly but it takes a lot of time, a nice pen, a stack of papaer, and no caffien for two days. I say fuck it and type now…next up text language.

        1. I took Russian in high school. My Russian cursive is quite legible. English cursive is unreadable. The age when I learned cursive seems to have had an impact.

      2. Im the same ways for directions. If I write down directions, I dont need to take the piece of paper with me.

        I always mean to, but forget it about 75% of the time. But it doesnt matter at that point, because writing it down was enough.

        1. Ditto

          Print a map from Google maps; scribble some notes on it; leave it at home.

          1. Same here.

    7. My penmanship when I’m writing numbers, greek letters, and mathematical notation is ten times better than when I’m writing essays for a liberal arts class.

      Guess I’m just showing which subjects I think are more important.

      I’m always the person taking notes in class, because I retain the information I’m hearing better.

      It really irritates me when my professors use powerpoint to lecture. From the second they put a new slide on the screen, the student is trying to read everything on the slide while also trying to listen to the professor talk, and then there’s always a mistake in notation or math on the slide, so that has to be correct so you’re not confused as hell when looking at it later.

      I learn much better with professors who write on the board. It slows them down to a speed where I can follow what they’re doing, and I can gain more insight into their thought process – which is what I’m actually trying to learn about, not just memorize the answers.

      1. I am the same way BUT i had a international politics prof once from Kenya and he wrote everything on the board, illegibly, and spoke “english” in such a manner that you thought you knew what he said but really didnt. It was two hour lectures so at the smoke break we all went outside with out noteboooks and said “ok, did you get that? How about this?” a nightmare of a class…somehow I got the second highest grade. Not sure how.

      2. Ditto. In math and science classes, I would try to solve problems the prof was doing as an example before he could finish. Writing on the board slowed him down enought that this usually worked for me. And if I got stuck at a step, I could wait for him to catch and see how he did it.

        So, me solving the problem while listening to the prof talking about how he was solving the problem was my primary method of learning.

      3. They should have the PP presentations available online (preferably, prior to class) if they’re going to do this.

    8. When I took the GRE some years ago, there was an “honor pledge” not to cheat or disclose the contents of the test to other people that you have to copy down in cursive before they give you the test.

      I hadn’t written anything but my signature in cursive since third grade. Other than my initials, I didn’t remember what any of the capital letters were supposed to look like so I just printed those.

      Luckily, the lady inspecting the honor pledges just glanced at it and threw it in the pile without making sure it was really in cursive. Thank God for the bureaucratic attitude!

  13. Apparently, some are concerned that porn stars are not being proper role models for teh childernz.

    Childhood lasts well into one’s twenties, you know….

    1. and, thanks to Obamacare, most porn stars can now remain on their parents health insurance throughout their career!

      1. Probably easier than keeping a urologist on retainer to control those pesky Simplex II outbreaks.

    2. 26 to be exact. Apparently it takes the better part of 1/3 of human life to be self-sufficient.

      What’s the adage? Treat people like children and they’ll behave like one?

      Somehow I think that’s the entire point.

  14. Note to Palestinian yute: don’t bring rock to car fight (or Palestianian gymnastics is hard)…;h=7ca48

    1. Driver picked up the difficult 7-10 split. Allahu Akbar.

  15. Apple patents device that would prevent sending and receiving of sex-themed text messages.

    Double entendres amongst the youth are about to get a little more juicier.

    1. I wouldn’t be surprised if “doing homework” becomes the new way of saying having sex.

      1. You mean, with other people?

  16. 1 question, one comment.

    (1) As many cars use electronic locks that aren’t easily visible from passers by, wouldn’t this mean that the police would need to try to open your door by pulling on the handle? If it does, how doesn’t that constitute a search or seizure which, as it is being done for the enforcement of a criminal law, would require a warrant or 4th Amd. exception (none of which apply here)? You would think that the testimony of the officer who opened the door would be per se inadmissible.

    (2) We already have a fine for not locking your cars – it’s whatever the value of your car is when it’s stolen. Natural law my friends, natrual law.

    1. Haven’t you read the article? The police chief has three masters degrees. This “Constitution” and “4th Amendment” you speak of amuses him.

  17. This made me chuckle.…..22997.html

    1. “It is- by design- zero sum.”

      Wrong. No point in reading the rest.

      1. Indeed. What an idiot. But that meant you missed the closing idiocy:

        Either way, by participating in the system, you’ve given up some of self-sovereignty.

        As opposed to non-capitalist systems, where you don’t give up any self-sovereignty?

  18. Thank you for this beautiful site and beautiful news

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