Tobacco

If This Chimp Had Smoked Unfiltered Cigs, He Might Still Be Alive!

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Finally, a truly meaningful story via Time's NewsFeed!:

Charlie the chimp, known for his cigarette habit, has died at his home in a South African Zoo.

After picking up a smoking habit because of cigarettes being thrown into his enclosure at the Mangaung Zoo in Bloemfontein, South Africa, Charlie began to bum smokes from zoo visitors by gesturing to his mouth with two fingers, mimicking the actions of smokers he'd watched. (See photos of the world's most endangered primates)

Visitors continued to indulge the chimp, bringing on a hailstorm of accusations from animal rights activists when videos surfaced online not long after, prompting Bloemfontein zoo officials to try to cut Charlie's nicotine supply off entirely.

Zoo officials claim that smoking was not a factor in the Charlie's death, who at 52, lived ten years beyond the normal life expectancy of the average chimpanzee.

Hat tip: Alex Massie's Twitter feed.

This seems like a good time to ask: What's the matter with menthols?

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  1. If This Chimp Had Smoked Unfiltered Cigs, He Might Still Be Alive!

    Chimp???

    Racist!!!!

  2. I don’t buy your argument, Gillespie.

  3. Zoo officials claim that smoking was not a factor in the Charlie’s death, who at 52, lived ten years beyond the normal life expectancy of the average chimpanzee.

    What the hell was he smoking, then??? I want that!

  4. This seems like a good time to ask:

    RA?

  5. STEVE SMITH SMOKED CIGARETTES FOR TWENTY YEARS! STEVE SMITH RAPE LIKE A ‘QUATCH HALF HIS AGE!

  6. BBC, which also reports of another chimp in Russia who entered a rehabilitation process after “he started pestering visitors for alcohol and cigarettes.”

    Yeah right, BBC, of course the Russian chimp likes alcohol and cigarettes. Friggin’ racists!!!

  7. How do they know he actually inhaled?

    It’s one thing to puff a cigarette, but quite another to take the smoke into your lungs. It’s seems to me only a human would be so stupid.

  8. How did he light them?

    1. Chain smoking behind the chain links.

    2. I wondered about that, then figured he’d been given pre-lit smokes.

      Reminds me of an Underworld by Kaz. Smoking Cat sat on the curb with an unlit cigaret in his mouth until a curious passer-by gave him a light. A duck then drove by, observing, “CATS CAN’T LIGHT MATCHES!”

      Whereupon the duck wrecked his car while Smoking Cat said, “AND DUCKS CAN’T DRIVE.”

  9. Curiously, Charlie had sworn he’d give up smoking when cigarettes went to $1 a pack.

    1. So, let’s see….story about smoking by primates and you choose that time to bring up menthols?

      RRRRAAAAAAAACCCCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTTT.

      I keed, I keed.

  10. What’s the matter with menthols?

    They are basically minty smoking suckitude. Other than that, nothing.

  11. picking up a smoking habit because of cigarettes being thrown into his enclosure

    I’m pretty sure it was actually the flavoured tobacco (or cartoons) that were the real cause of his smoking habit.

    1. And because he couldn’t read the warning on the package.

  12. This actually got me wondering: If, in Planet Of The Apes, the primates were at first companions, then evolved to take over, then why don’t the apes in the movie smoke or drink booze? It occurs to me that two of the greatest pleasures in life are having a beer and a smoke while bullshitting with your friends about sports, politics or chicks. Do you mean to tell me that apes were smart enough to take over the planet but they weren’t smart enough to learn brewing techniques and tobacco cultivation?

    Damn dirty apes is right!

    1. They do smoke and drink. There are drunk apes in the original series and in the remake, and in the remake, there’s a great scene of Rick Baker, in gibbon makeup(an ape unused in the original series) smoking a hookah.

  13. In other animal-related news, the girl who threw the puppies in the river is gonna walk. PETA flips out. Hilarity ensues in Bosnia.

    1. Puppycide girl is cute. She has a good arm too. Some school should offer her a softball scholarship.

    2. drowning puppies is illegal in Bosnia?

  14. Coincidentally, I just saw something on “25 Smoking Monkeys” over at a photoblog.

    1. There’s just something about a monkey smoking a cig and playing cards that’s just funny. Stick a fedora on him and forget about it.

      It’s a shame the “monkey as an actor” movie genre got killed off with Dunston Checks In and MVP: Most Valuable Primate.

      America could use another dose of “Right Turn, Clyde” in our cinema in an age of unfunny politically-correct rubbish coming out of Hollyweird.

      1. Monkeys will be part of our entertainment until they kill us off.

        1. you mean “… until we kill them off.”

          WAAAY more people around than monkeys.

          1. I don’t know, look at one of the SEIU rallies and say that.

  15. This seems like a good time to ask: What’s the matter with menthols?

    joe?

  16. Zoo officials claim that smoking was not a factor in the Charlie’s death, who at 52, lived ten years beyond the normal life expectancy of the average chimpanzee.

    I’m assuming they’re referring to the average chimpanzee in the wild, where hazards like starvation, infected wounds, and being killed in chimp battles are probably more suppressive of life expectancy than tobacco smoking.

  17. The headline should have been:

    “Cigarette Smoking Chimp Lives Ten Extra Years!”

  18. Never fuck with a chimp smoking a camel.

  19. In the video, 2:53 my sharp eye spots a girl who looks an awful lot like on of those “Petticoat Junction” girls. Why I spotted that, I don’t know.

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