Reason Morning Links: Karzai Aide Tied to Corruption, Trapped Miners Face Agonizing Delay, Insurgents Strike in Iraq

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  1. Federal flood insurance program continually in the red, pays out to same beneficiaries over and over.

    Who could have foreseen that?

    1. Insurgents anticipating U.S. withdrawal launch wave of attacks across Iraq.

      Or that?

      1. Top Karzai aide linked to corruption, CIA payroll.

        That, on the other hand, is totally surprising.

        1. There was an article in the WSJ about this. It seems that the State Department staff have failed at building rapport with the Afghani government, but there’s this CIA chief–code named “Spider”–who everyone loves. Now , maybe it’s because he has a slush fund and can spread around the baksheesh, but isn’t that part of the culture over there?

          1. Oh, forgot to add, that because the State dept failed, the Obama administration has used Spider to do traditional diplomatic work.

      2. Who is going to protect our unarmed, noncombat troops?

        1. Joel Pile. That is of course unless it’s found out that Joel Pile fucks sheep (I personally do not know), which would call his dependability into question.

          1. Isn’t “Pile” a synonym for “hemorrhoid”? And I’ve heard he’s only fucking sheep to get anthrax, so he can poison people who criticize him in his councilliary duties. It’s not like he’s a pervert or anything.

            1. Technically, it’s “Piles”.

          2. That might be a plus in Afghanistan.

      3. Pretty short sighted on the part of the insurgents. If they were smart, they’d lay low until we’re gone. Otherwise they’re just giving fuel to the people who insist we should stay forever.

        1. If they were smart they would have laid low right after the invasion, we would be long gone, they would have had easy pickens.

        2. It’s quite possible that they realise we aren’t really leaving, ever, anyway. (At least not voluntarily.)

        3. We’re not staying beyond next year. Obama will not abandon his base and re-election to prop up the failed government.

          Please, will some red teamer tell me again about how the surge worked, we turned the corner and victory is inevitable. I could use a wry chuckle.

          I’m betting on a typical Arab strong man government but do acknowledge that theocracy has an outside chance in the contest. Secular representative democracy is not even in the game.

          1. I’m betting on a typical Arab strong man government

            You know, I think the US could have bought Saddam Hussein as a “trusted ally” for a lot less than a terabuck.

            1. We don’t excuse human rights violations by our allies, Aresen.

              Oh, wait. I am misinformed. We do until it provides a convenient excuse for a quick coup.

      4. “””Insurgents anticipating U.S. withdrawal launch wave of attacks across Iraq.

        Or that?”””

        The US President that worked out the withdraw plans with the Iraqis, that’s who.

    2. Was the flood article written by the same Thomas Frank we all know and hate, or some other unfortunate journalist with the same name?

  2. Chilean miners could be trapped for months

    That’s truly horrifying. Worse, how will they keep up with their telenovelas?

    1. Better to embrace it. Grow a beard, pick up an axe, and develop a love for gold and quaffing ale.

      1. I imagine some other kinds of love may be developed in there. No homo.

      2. So long as they do not delve too greedily. Or too deep.

    2. Every time I see something about this, I think of the waste management problem they will have. That and psychological problems are the most likely things to do most of those guys in before they get extracted.

      1. This sounds like the set-up for Mi Valentino Sangriento 3-D.

      2. Wait till a few of them discover Islam and want to build a mine mosque.

      3. Apparently, they have a secure spot about the size of a living room, but access to uncollapsed mine shafts that run for a mile or so. The miners have been using one of these shafts for a latrine.

        1. Nice! They can go jogging!

      4. Maybe they will solve their waste problem by going all Human Centipede on us.

    3. There’s the makings of a great movie here, along the the lines of Planet of the Apes and The Time Machine.

  3. Michael Steele, current chairman of the Republican National Committee, issued a statement of support for Mehlman.

    Mr. Steele was subsequently banned from any appearance at the WorldNetDaily conference.

    1. Mr Steele forgot the “no homo”.

    2. That’s a feature, not a bug

  4. Top Karzai aide linked to corruption, CIA payroll.

    Redundant.

    1. Yes, I’ve been genuinely trying to figure out why this story is getting such prominent placement in this morning’s news coverage. Wouldn’t the more newsworthy story be if one of Karzai’s aides WASN’T corrupt and on the CIA’s payroll?

  5. The CIA would never be involved with supporting corrupt foreign leaders.

  6. Dear Prudie:
    I am an Asian girl about to enter high school. I have always done well academically, excluding math. However, my social skills consist of being awkward, talking to myself?especially about my novel-in-progress?not being able to tell whether someone is talking to me, and avoiding eye contact. When I was younger, I did not understand when people were being sarcastic and was often suckered into making a fool of myself; I have been emotionally bullied to this day. My best friend recently advised me to research Asperger’s syndrome. I took several tests online, and they all said that I have a very high likelihood. I think things could be improved if my parents understood that I have special needs, however they treat the mentally ill as inferior. Should I tell them? And how do I bring up the possibility I have a mental disorder?
    ?Paranoid Potential Aspie

    Link

    1. I’d recommend that she deal with this problem by getting a webcam, record a series of brutally honest soul-baring videos, post them to YouTube, and then flame the /b/tards on 4chan. That will completely distract her from the possible mental disorder.

    2. DEAR PARANOID POTENTIAL ASS-PIE:

      YOUR LETTER OF DISTRESS HAS TOUCHED THE URKOBOLD IN A SECRET PLACE. WORRY NO MORE, YOUNG NYMPHET–HELP HAS ARRIVED!

      HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:

      (1) STEAL YOUR FATHER’S CHECKBOOK.
      (2) WRITE A CHECK FOR $10,000 TO THE FIRST PLASTIC SURGEON YOU FIND IN YOUR AREA ON THE INTERNET.
      (3) TAKE THE CHECK AND PROCURE VERY LARGE BOSOMS. VERY LARGE.
      (4) WRITE A CHECK TO THE URKOBOLD FOR ANOTHER $5,000 AS A CONSULTING FEE.
      (5) BECOME A WHORE AND DOCUMENT YOUR EXPLOITS ONLINE. WITH VIDEO!

      BEST WISHES,

      UNCLE URKOBOLD

      1. Always looking out for the children. Good on ya, URKY.

      2. Do kids today know what a checkbook looks like?

    3. Three things about this are very unlikely in the same person:

      Asian…done well academically, excluding math…Asperger’s without freakish math skillz

      1. She’s female, and a writer. Often, math skills != English skills, and vice versa. Also, some Asperger’s have other skill sets – think of Syd Barrett.

    4. And how do I bring up the possibility I have a mental disorder?

      I don’t think you’ll have to bring it up, exactly.

    5. And how do I bring up the possibility I have a mental disorder?

      About a dozen strategic piercings and a not-so-subtle lesbian relationship ought to do it.

    6. Wait, that was clearly written by John Taglifierro, right?

      1. Guffaw.

  7. http://thedanashow.wordpress.c…..omb-story/

    Carnahan employee bombed their own office and tried to blame it on the tea party.

    1. What next, are we going to find out that John Lewis shouted the n-word at himself?

      1. He probably did. While watching himself masturbate in a mirror.

        1. Please. This is a United States Congressman.

          He hires a prostitute to whip him and call him a bad-bad nigger.

          1. I’m all in favor of the First Amendment, but “nigger” should be banned. Or at least moved ten blocks away.

          2. You know, I had been wondering what Michael Richards was doing for work these days.

  8. Karzai’s half brother Opium kingpin is also on the payroll…making the CIA the head of a opium cartel.

    The british have been in charge of the opium production in Asia since at least 1830…the inteligence agencies took over after the East India British Tea Company…the Skull and Bones club was funded through opium cartel money…CIA got many many employees from the Yale skull and Bones boys…The CIA has been pro-drug war for a long time. More profits for the cartels…I hope people are starting to anticipate some of these non-surprising connections in current events. Why don’t you do a article on the history of the opium trade Moynihan?

    1. Dude, you’re stuck in the South Park Truther fallacy. The government cannot be hyper-incompetent AND hyper-competent at the same time. Either they’re a bunch of bumbling fuckups or not. If they were really such pros, they wouldn’t have their business printed up in the newspaper.

      1. Brett, Gabe is a Truther, so any argument against him is all just part of the conspiracy.

        1. right…South Park viewers have high IQs and are extremely competent and that is why if they felt like it they could have Henry Kissinger’s job…they could probably understand the world better by getting their world view from comedy central than from reading hundreds of biographies and history books on wars, intelligence agencies and industry.

          If your not sure about how to interpret something just follow Moynihan and South Park…they will guide you.

        2. So are you surprised that the CIA has a opium kingpin on the payroll Sugarfree?

          1. It’s always so obvious when you run out of meds toward the end of the month.

        3. Wow. I didn’t think they used the interwebz… Too much radiation harms their purity of essence, like fluoridation of the water.

      2. Ya I guess your right, because 3 million people are always going to be homogeneuos…there is no difference between Henry Kissinger and a DMV worker. They are all dumb public servants who have made us their slaves.

        1. Rumsfeld, Zbigniew Brzezinski, Dick Cheney, Barrack Obama, David Rockefeller have really low IQs and are incompetant?

          is that your position?

    2. Becuase he’s in the pay of Big Opium.

    3. I knew Gabe was a Truther, but I did not realize he was a LaRoucheite.

      1. I’m hazy on the difference.

        1. The LaRouchies think Obama is in the pay of Queen Elizabeth II.

          The Truthers think Obama is in the pay of the Grand Mufti of Mecca.

          Most of the US wishes he weren’t on their payroll.

          1. well, no. the truthers are generally on the whole “radical islam is a NWO/CIA plot” tip.

  9. Former Reason contributor shills for his girlfriend and the Dems.

    Koch Teabagger Astroturf

    Lisa Murkowski on Libertarian Party ticket

    1. Former Reason contributor alleged sheep fucker shills for his girlfriend and the Dems.

      FIFY

      1. Damn! I need to get tested!

  10. Ten Lesbian & Bisexual Poets To Fall in Love With

    I love you too
    don’t fuck up my hair
    I can’t believe
    you almost fisted me
    today.
    That was great.

    1. Is “almost fisted” four fingers?

      Or is it more like “almost raped”?

      1. Maybe she had taken all her rings off and greased up her fist with vegan lard, but then the Eco-Feminist Revenge Squad called them to action against a counter-revolutionary protest of equality staged by a masculinist carnivore cell at a savage testosterone-poisoned “sporting” event. (AKA Tailgate party.)

        1. I don’t even want to know what vegan lard is.

            1. Oil is lard? What kind of fucked-up world is that?

    2. How’d you miss this one:

      Faggot Haiku
      Faggots reach into
      their own asses we are not
      afraid of our shit

      Read more: http://jezebel.com/5621964/ten…..z0xiuqiLBT

      Do they realize that gay rights just got set back 30 years?

  11. “The Opium Wars” Peter Ward Fay
    “The Anglo-American Establishment” Carroll Quigley

    “Defrauding America, 4th ed. Volume One: A Trojan Horse Legacy” Rodney Stich

    1. The British ran the opium trade in 1830.

      Therefore, the British still run the opium trade today.

      This message has been brought to you by GabeLogic, the hot new product for 21st century mental defectives. Ask for GabeLogic by name at methadone clinics nationwide! Or call 1-800-LaRoucheInformercial now!

      1. Reminds you of Lyndon LaRouche, doesn’t it?

    2. Plainly Gabe is insane. The CIA would never profit off of the drug trade. That would be immoral.

      1. There is a huge distance between ‘being immoral’ and ‘being the Clever Master Plotters Who Control Everything.’

        Someone who thinks the CIA is immoral can make a good arguement; someone who thinks the latter is batshit insane.

  12. “Former Bush aide, RNC chief Ken Melhman comes out of the closet.”

    So?

    1. You can tell he’s gay from his picture.

  13. It pays to riot in Europe, as Ireland is now incredibly paying more to borrow money than Greece.

  14. Do you guys know how they staffed to the OSS before it was the CIA?

    the banks…Rockefeller and Morgan’s banks…they big intelligence operations before the government …to be a good world wide bank you needed to gather information efficiently. it helped to have better information on world events than your competitors int he market…nothing evil, bad or wrong…just a fact that gathering and filtering good informational was competitve aspect of banking/commerce/business groups for a long time…there is history to the business. South Park is not a good source for learning about it.

    1. I really didn’t get that. Maybe if you didn’t redact every other word like the CIA.

    2. Do you guys know how they staffed to the OSS before it was the CIA?

      The cragislist “gigs” section?

      1. Do you guys know how they staffed to the OSS before it was the CIA?

        They hired noted illuminati Julia Child.

        1. Her initials are JC. Oh. My. God. Dan Brown was correct all along.

  15. The Federal Flood Insurance program is truly pernicious.

    It’s like in 1965 or so people woke up nationwide and said, “Hey – there are all these beautiful beaches and riverfront properties with no houses built on them. Gee, all the people who have lived in North America for the last two centuries must be REALLY REALLY STUPID to have never built on these lots. Lucky me! I can build on them now!”

    There’s a reason those plots were vacant, dumbasses.

    The other galling thing about the program is that even though it’s ripping taxpayers off, the people who get the subsidy [the homeowners] invariably feel set upon and aggrieved. If you’re doing someone’s mortgage and you pull a flood cert on their property and it turns out it’s in a flood zone and they have to enroll in the federal program, that person invariably goes absolutely berserk about how unfair it is that they have to pay to have flood insurance. Even though they’re getting a federal subsidy and ripping the rest of us off. Fuckers.

    If we can’t cancel this program outright, we should stop issuing new policies immediately. That will restore the property values of the impacted properties to their actual level. The people getting inflated prices for beach properties based on the existence of the federal program are rentiers and we need to kick them off the gravy train.

    1. It drives me nuts to. How many times have dipshits who have just had their houses flooded gotten on TV to tell the world they plan to rebuild. Neither mine nor any person in my family has ever been a victim of a flood. It is a really simple system; don’t live in a flood plain.

      Federal Flood insurance is nothing but welfare to developers and a subsidy for the stupid.

      1. Neither mine nor any person in my family has ever been a victim of a flood.

        Just to snark a bit: Since you are paying for it, you are “a victim of a flood.”

      2. How many times have dipshits who have just had their houses flooded gotten on TV to tell the world they plan to rebuild.

        “Fine, but it better be on stilts, asshole.”

        Also: May the rotting corpse of John Murtha be disinterred and defiled by Joel Pile, who may or may not be a necrophiliac. Murtha was a huge proponent of the Fed Flood Insurance – coming from Johnstown, PA, which floods every 20 years or so.

        1. Ever been to Johnstown? God has good reasons to hate that fucking place.

      3. My mom grew up on a farm along a river. Before the dam was built, it flooded regularly (annually, pretty much, I think). Probably why it was such good farmland. You know what? The house was far enough from the river it never flooded. Imagine that.

        1. But, robc, that’s fine for farmers but what if I want to put a subdivision there?

          Huh?

          What about that?

    2. “They’re getting a federal subsidy and ripping the rest of us off. Fuckers.”

      This is what Stossel sounds like when he’s had a few.

      1. That would be a sight to see…

    3. Was the Federal Flood Insurance program initially instituted to help midwesterners and others living in river flood plains and then applied to coastal areas or the other way around?

    4. After the mid-nineties Mississippi floods the flood insurance program outright bought up properties in floodplains in a one-time one-off settlement. The condition on this offer was that you had to move into a less vulnerable location.

      There was talk at the time of extending this system-wide, making it a condition to getting flood insurance that you accept a onetime buy-out if you suffered a total loss from a flood. This was seen as opening the possibility that eventually the system would simply abolish itself.

      Instead flood insurance has expanded and if IANM much of the land that was vacated in the mid-nineties has now return to private ownership and been developed and is covered by it.

  16. Insurgents anticipating U.S. withdrawal launch wave of attacks across Iraq.

    I’m cutting my estimate of the survival time of the present ‘Iraqi Government’ from three months after departure of US troops to two.

    1. My plan to make Kurdistan (Kurdec?) into a Canadian province sounds less crazy now, doesn’t it?

      1. I met a Kurd a few weeks ago. Nice guy.

      2. In the early 70s, a Kurdish leader offered Kurdistan to Nixon as the 51st state. He said no.

        Fucking Nixon.

        1. Tricky Dick may have been a crook, a liar and a schemeing murderous douchebag, but he was not a fool.

          1. That’s why it has to be an inoffensive country that Kurdlahoma joins. If it were the U.S., they’d be attacked weekly.

            1. I dunno, I find Canada pretty offensive.

              1. Enough so that you would attack Prince Edkurd Island to get at Canada?

  17. Wow, if Nate Silver is saying this it must be bad times for the Dems this fall – http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.n…..ate-seats/

  18. I’vs got a litte bit of OT. Is anyone here a member Libertarian party in alaska, because your party seems open to allowing Lisa Murkowski to run on your ballot.

    1. never mind I see the thread. (#$@* google page search)

    2. I linked a “report” above.

      RINO-tarian?

      This strikes me as utterly bizarre but, like Alexandra Gutierrez , I have almost no knowledge of Alaska politics

    1. Libertarians need to be issue oriented. Sometimes that means working with the dipshits in the Democratic party, sometimes it means working with the assholes in the GOP.

  19. Any one catch the unverified diplomatic cable posted on cryptome yesterday? It seems quite the reach. Should be interesting though to hear the denials once it reaches mainstream.

  20. Insurgents anticipating U.S. withdrawal launch wave of attacks across Iraq.

    I believe it was Sun Tzu that said, “Stupid people set and announce date to leave. Smart people just GTFO.”

  21. Iraq will most likely be fine. The violent death rate there is something like 1/4 that of Venezuela.

    The last poll found 60% of Iraqis saying things are “very good,” and 51% expect things to improve further in 2010 vs. only 18% who expect them to get worse.

    Also, the Iraqi economy is projected to grow 10% this year.

    Brookings doesn’t update their Iraq Index nearly as often as they used to, but it’s still out there.

    http://www.brookings.edu/~/media/Files/Centers/Saban/Iraq Index/index20100630.pdf

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