Media

Apology of the Day

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Exemplary!

From The New Republic's very own Spine, Martin Peretz:

I apologize to my readers and to Liza Minnelli for quoting from Tunku Varadarajan's otherwise estimable column about John McCain a remark slighting to her and her gifts. Minnelli has been a talented singer and actress for several decades, and she still has the the warranted courage to perform. What's more, she is one of those paradigmatic entertainers who gives of herself–her ample brain and enchanting personality–in the cause of human rights, a cause not as popular as it once was was. […]

And, by the way, what an exemplary private life she has had.

Speaking of Mr. Maverick, who is going to breeze to victory tonight in his primary challenge against noted clownfruit J.D. "Whatever it Takes" Hayworth, if you were worried that the well of disillusionment had finally run dry among the artists formerly known as his "base," fear not:

* Watching the Change in John McCain

* John McCain Runs a Maverick Anti-Maverick Campaign

* John McCain's Transformation From Maverick to Erratic

* Righting the Straight Talk Express

And so on. My favorite McCain-related story is him blaiming his souring image on "the Eastern press," as if they were some distant tribe of hostile and inscrutable elitists.

NEXT: Also Unacceptable: Images of Lox or Barbecue Pits

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  1. I think Peretz mentioned the holocaust in an article the other day for a change.

  2. Finally, justice for Lucille II. Buster would be proud/terrified.

  3. Is there any real difference between Harry Reid and John McCain?

    Go Team Red/Blue! It really makes a difference.

    1. Is there any real difference between Harry Reid and John McCain?

      Yes. McCain pees standing up.

    2. Well, McCain’s the one who just pledged that Republicans would retake the House and Senate and that “when we do, we will stop the out of control spending and tax increases and repeal and replace Obamacare” in his victory speech after the primary.

      On a lot of issues it doesn’t make too much of a difference, particularly because of where the median voter actually is. On Obamacare, it actually made a fair bit of difference.

      Pretending that there are no differences is as stupid as being a blind Team Red or Team Blue partisan. And quite a lot of people do it just because they want to be part of Team Above It All.

      1. “when we do, we will stop the out of control spending and tax increases and repeal and replace Obamacare”

        Think of Grandpa Simpson, trailing off into sleep halfway through the statement.

  4. And my mother…Judy Garland…

    1. Sorry Liza, you really are irrelevant. The apology was unnecessary.

  5. If ole J.D. is clownfruit, what is McCain?

    Mano-a-mano, I’d take Hayworth over McCain. Every day. Every time.

    1. Just a clown?

      1. THIS clown:

        http://maskworld.scene7.com/is…..$fullsize$

        1. That’s pretty disturbing, but not as disturbing as the picture above.

          1. This is one of the few times I’d like an apology from a photographer.

  6. Reading the cited paragraph gave me a headache.

  7. “* Watching the Change in John McCain

    * John McCain Runs a Maverick Anti-Maverick Campaign

    * John McCain’s Transformation From Maverick to Erratic

    * Righting the Straight Talk Express

    And so on. My favorite McCain-related story is him blaiming his souring image on “the Eastern press,” as if they were some distant tribe of hostile and inscrutable elitists.”

    Jesus, Matt, you ought to just write a book about McCain or something.

  8. I wouldn’t give a shit if McCain’s primary challenger was Midget Mac. Arizonans voting in that primary have a chance to oust a representative of the shitbags that have soiled the halls of Congress for too long. What was the Maverick’s vote on TARP? Exactly.

    For as much talk as there was about what a horrible precedent TARP was, a much worse one will be the electorate (most of whom don’t know what in the hell TARP is) re-electing the thieves who voted for it. Even if your convinced TARP was necessary, that doesn’t mean the shitbags that voted for it, and more than likely contributed to the financial woes of the country, should be re-elected. But they will.

    1. Hayworth, however, would certainly have been a pro-TARP vote if he were still in Congress, judging by his record of voting for every other stupid spending program that came along just because Republicans pushed it.

      McCain I’d say was more of a coin flip.

  9. Help out a fellow Reasonoid here. I recognize Liza and the late overrated purveyor of pop, who are the other two people in the freak show picture?

    1. One seems to be Liz Taylor. I don’t know who the one on the far right is, though.
      Ba-dum, boom!

      1. I think it’s that weird gay guy to whom she was married. David something or another?

        1. David Gest. They divorced a year and a half later and he sued her for $10 million for being abusive while drunk.

          He didn’t win, but it doesn’t make it any less hilarious.

        2. A picture of the true love smooch. SFW, but not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.

          1. I though Liza was sort of cute circa Arthur. Does that mean I’m gay?

            1. No, just retarded. Or you’re David Gest…

            2. Depends on whether you also like Barbra or the latest gay icon, Lady Gaga. I figure you get a mulligan on one of the three.

              1. Barbra and Gaga, no. Show tunes, yes. But I’m comfortable with that.

                1. A straight dude who will attend the occasional Broadway show is a rare gift.

            3. She was kinda cute in “The Sterile Cookoo”

              http://www.imdb.com/media/rm105748480/tt0065037

              1. But weird.

                I was going to say though that she was cute in the 70s, Cukoo, Cabaret, New York^2, Arthur.

                1. You guys are gay. She looks like a boy.

                  1. No, again, that’s David Gest

  10. I still stand by my contention that that is the greatest picture of all time. I remember when it was published in the NY Post and my friend and I got multiple copies.

    1. It’s like a goddamn wax museum set piece.

      1. Are you sure it’s not?

    2. There are a few pictures that never fail to make me happy with their sheer absurdity. This one is up there with dorky early 90’s prom pictures of an SO.

    3. It reminds me of Subgenius-artist renderings of photos where they horribly distort the proportions of people’s features and make them look, well, sick, deformed, demented and alien…

      Which this photo achieves in its pure, unadulterated state. It will give me nightmares.

      David Gest looks like his head was crushed in a vice, Liza looks like her face was widened (maybe same vice, applied front to back), Michael looks like a tall, drugged up asian girl whose lips were sewn together, and Liz Taylor looks like George Dzundza in drag.

      In case you don’t know Dzundza offhand:

      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001169/

      …I’ve always felt his was a great actor who got way too many shitty roles, except for maybe Deer Hunter, No Way Out, Crimson Tide… If you ever get a chance, get “The Beast” (1988) from Netflix. Great movie never released really in the US. He rocks in that movie.

  11. What’s with that photo, is it Halloween already?

  12. The first site when you google clownfruit.

    Yes, it’s SFW. It makes less sense than I would have thought.

    1. “Buggy’s first mate is Mohji the Lion Tamer, and his second mate is Cabaji the Acrobat.”

      Well, there you have it.

  13. Are you sure that picture wasn’t supposed to be attached to Balkos’ earlier zombie story?

  14. Are those real people in the picture, or wax representations from Vegas? (Serious question).

    1. Very, very real. That’s the photo that they themselves released to the press.

    2. I went to Madame Tassaud’s in London. Here’s a pointer: save your money. The only thing vaguely amusing about the place was the fact that they had to put extra layers of underwear on the Kylie Minogue figure (this was 2003) because a lot of men were groping it.

      They probably should have come out with a Kylie Real Doll.

      1. There has to be an inflatable one by now.

  15. Well, I’m sorry, Matt Welch aka Mr. Smart-Ass. I love a chick with an ample brain.*

    *So Marty is a Liza guy. Why did I not see that coming?

    1. “*So Marty is a Liza guy. Why did I not see that coming?”

      I’m guessing it’s because you were too busy at home working on your next The Godfather sequel.

      1. BTW, RIP, Mario.

  16. My favorite McCain-related story is him blaiming his souring image on “the Eastern press,” as if they were some distant tribe of hostile and inscrutable elitists.

    Ole Maverick doesn’t get off the ranch much, these days, what with the calvin’ and fence-mendin’ and the fireside singalongs. He’s probably never seen a genuine “elite” up close.

  17. “and she still has the the warranted courage to perform.”

    The The issues warrants now? Matt Johnson is really full of himself.

  18. I do not know what the sewing-machine kingpin is saying here–despite the fact that I subscribe to TNR.com and occasionally post there as “AlSmith1980” (true)–but the idea that McCain is blaiming the Eastern press for his “troubles” is the definition of “chutzpah” as Ted Kotcheff might have put it

  19. p.s. I think you forgot recently when Jake Weisberg (of David Weigel fame) was bemoaning the sad decline of McCain, undone by his scheming triad of fatter/thinner daughters (the Bangladeshi having been pulled into it by the other faction)

  20. Reading the cited paragraph gave me a headache.

  21. They probably should have come out with a Kylie Real Doll.

  22. I was going to say though that she was cute in the 70s, Cukoo, Cabaret, New York^2, Arthur.

    1. The “bags-fendibags-scarf” is worse than the Axis of Evil, the Triple Axis and the Triple Alliance…combined. Reasonoids, unite!, and make yourselves the next Greatest Generation by destroying this terrible threat.

  23. What a fracking freak show that wedding was.

  24. He kind of looks like a cross between Lurch and Liberace.

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