Reason Morning Links: Russia Takes On Vodka, Operation Iraqi Freedom Ends, "Homocons" Split Conservatives

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  1. New jobless claims rise to 500,000. That’s the highest number in nine months.

    At this point, a truly honest leader with courage would cut the crap, address the American people, and tell everyone the plain unvarnished truth: we’re in a depression, and we’re probably not going to be getting out of it very soon.

    1. You mean admit to his mistakes? That’s unlikely.

      1. Are you saying Obama makes mistakes? That’s racist.

    2. What do you call a leader that starts his 12th vacation of the year the same day those numbers come out?

      1. Jimmy Carter II

        1. He’s the worst elements of Carter plus the worst elements of LBJ.

          Worst. President. Ever.

          1. Give him time. One war is finally ending. We could get attacked and he could start another one. 85% approval ratings!

            USA! USA! USA!

            1. In part for that reason, “we’re not leaving behind cooks and quartermasters,” Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. said Wednesday in a telephone interview. The bulk of the remaining American troops, he said, “will still be guys who can shoot straight and go get bad guys.”

              Yessiree Bob, all the “combat troops” are gone and the the Washington Post passes on the bald faced lie.

          2. How about the worst elements of FDR?

      2. What do you call a leader that starts his 12th vacation of the year the same day those numbers come out?

        A man with absolutely no connection with or empathy for the people of his country. But that became crystal clear to me way back when I saw his reaction to the Fort Hood massacre.

        1. Who wants a leader? We elected a king baby!

          1. I don’t want a leader OR a king…I want an employee who fucking understands their job.

            Let thme eat low-fat, sugar free, fair-trade, organic yogurt.

            1. Calling our king an employee is racist.

              RACIST!

            2. Calling our king an employee is racist.

              RACIST!

              1. It’s double racist.

    3. At this point, a truly honest leader with courage…

      Some people like to close their eyes and think of all the awesome ways their lives would change if they won the lottery. Or one could imagine that they just happen to meet Jessica Biel in a cafe and really hit it off.

      While about equally unlikely, I claim that either of these fantasies is more fun than yours.

    4. I love how the continuing rise in jobless claims is always unexpected, and deliver yet another setback to the (fictional) economic recovery.

    5. “”At this point, a truly honest leader with courage would cut the crap, address the American people, and tell everyone the plain unvarnished truth:””

      When have we ever had a truly honest leader?

      But I certanly don’t expect a politician who spent a trillion dollars to come out and announce it was a fruitless endevor.

  2. And immigrants still want to come to America? What a sorry world we live in when America is the shining city on the hill.

    1. Yesterday The Jacket was saying even the illegals didn’t want to come here any more.

      1. “Drive the economy into the ground? No, No, No. I was solving the immigration issue behind the scenes. Joe Public isn’t smart enough to understand, so I had to trick them into it. See how good I am?”
        – Obama

        1. I use to joke that Bush’s immigration plan was reducing the value of the dollar to below peso levels.

  3. New poll: One in five Americans believes Barack Obama is a secret Muslim.

    Sounds better when you say 20%.

    1. He’s a double secret Muslim!

      1. Fatwah drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.

      2. But he’s still a probationary Muslim.

        1. Or a lapsed Muslim. Think about it.

          I want to know how many in five Americans consider being a Muslim a bad thing.

          1. If I believed he was a Muslim, it would raise my opinion of him – just by knowing that there was some limit to his narcisism.

          2. how many in five Americans consider being a Muslim a bad thing?

            I think that’s implied in the question. It certainly is in the answer.

            1. Toby: Aren’t the suggestions meant for you?
              Michael Scott: Well… Toby, if you are inferring that I have B.O. then that would be a very poor choice of words.
              Creed: Michael, he wasn’t inferring, he was implying. You were inferring.

    2. The scary thing for Obama in that survey is 1:10 say they found out he was muslim from things he said.

    3. It’s a secret?

  4. One in five Americans believes Barack Obama is a secret Muslim.

    One in five Americans believed him when he said he is. And that’s generous of them, considering how often he’s lied to them.

    1. But if he said he is a secret Muslim, then he can’t be, because it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. And when did he say that?

      1. It’s not when, but where. And the answer is: in their tiny, diseased minds.

        1. Silly ‘merkins. He’s a Marxist, not a Muslim!

        2. It’s not when, but where. And the answer is: in their tiny, diseased minds.

          No, he actually answered a question, during the Rick Warren (I think is his name), the pastor of some church, debate interview with McCain.

          I can’t remember the question but Obama said something about his “muslim faith”, he definitely said muslim, and Warren corrected him saying “Christian” and Obama agreed, as if he had misspoken. It was weird, to say the least. Not that I think he is a muslim. He would have to believe in something then.

  5. Ann Coulter vs. World Net Daily

    Even without Coulter, the Miami, Fla., WND conference will still feature plenty of conservative stars, including Rep. Michele Bachman (R-Minn.), Alan Keyes, Colorado GOP gubernatorial candidate Tom Tancredo…

    What, no Sarah Palin? Too crazy even for her?

    1. WND will never accept Alaska as a state. Nor Hawaii.

      Contiguous or Not At All!

      1. Annex Canada?

        1. Whoa. Even WND isn’t that extreme.

      2. And they’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before they recognize Missourah.

    2. Wing Nut Daily conference.

    3. They’re feeling frisky when they start eating their own, and the election is not for another two months.
      “She’s a witch! BURN HER!”

      1. Oddly, most Americans, whom World Net Daily would label “conservative,” have never heard of World Net Daily.

        1. It does sound like some black-and-white rag with pictures of Bat Boy on the front.

          1. I’ve thought that myself. “Hitler and Elvis – both still alive and living in sin in Tahiti”

            1. Hitler and Elvis…hmm…now there’s a slashfic opportunity.

              1. “Mein Gott! Das Becken!”

              2. I don’t do slash flicks.

    4. Ann Coulter calling anyone a ‘publicity whore’

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  6. Marx and Engels slashfic.

    It’s a comforting alt-history to think about them fucking each other instead of hate-fucking history for a 160 years running.

    1. Serious question: How many people actually enjoy this stuff? Is it the hobby of failed writers or a legitimate art form? And why is it always about sex?

      1. Stories involving gay sex are strangely popular with a subset of women.

        1. OK, I peeked. A sample:

          Y’know that saying, if something exists, there’s a porn of it? Take that, double it, add the occasional William Howard Taft RPF and it’s also true for fanfic.

          Jesus, that’s awful, and it’s just the intro.

        2. Lesbians get off on hardcore gay male porn.

          True story.

      2. It’s easy to write about disconnected scenes of fucking than actually develop characters and plots. And even easier when you can use historical figures or actual people as characters, because then you don’t have to supply anything–the known qualities are used as a shorthand.

        It’s lazy writing that trades on shock value to make up for a lack of skill.

        1. Kind of like writing song parodies, but even that requires some musical knowledge.

          1. We three kings of Orient are,
            Stoned on our ass and driving a car.

        2. It’s porn for lame women who can’t be bothered to find the actually good, non-man-centered porn.

        3. Spoken from experience?

        4. worked for Emo Vampire and Wayne/Sulu Friday…

  7. Secret muslim? That many? Good Grief…

    1. 3 out 5 people fuck with pollsters on questions like this.

      1. That was my reaction.

        1. Sailed righ by without a meh. Musta been desensitized by the number of folks that still pop up and are still serious birthers. Probably form the core group that think Lindsey Graham is an innovative original thinker with his plan to monkey with an Amendment to screw with birthplace citizenship eligibility. And rave about the Shamwow.

  8. Glenn Beck also shunned by WorldNetDaily for being a sell-out materialistic libertarian and not wanting to castrate gays:

    http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=191997

    1. I’m tempted to look at the link you provided, but I hate WND so much I refuse to give them any web traffic.

      1. They probably submarined the announcement that Fred Phelps gained a controlling interest in the place, just to up the hit count from people looking for it.

      2. “”I’m tempted to look at the link you provided, but I hate WND so much I refuse to give them any web traffic.””

        Ditto, nor will I look at anything by/with Coulter.

    1. Havent read the article yet, but I credit Lewis as the most influential author leading to me becoming a libertarian.

      1. The article quotes the bit I will use as my campaign program if I ever run for office:

        To live his life in his own way, to call his house his castle, to enjoy the fruits of his own labour, to educate his children as his conscience directs, to save for their prosperity after his death?these are wishes deeply ingrained in civilized man.

        1. But the federal government is the only legitimate means to achieve these wishes.

    2. C. S. Lewis predicts the Nanny State:

      Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

      1. This is one of my favorite quotes but find it ironic given some of his Evangelical leanings. Who’s looking out for your own good more than some glassy-eyed Christian.

        1. There’s a difference between an evangelical Christian and a statist-evangelical Christian.

          I recently got into a 3-hour argument with my father where I supported gay marriage on the grounds that Christians shouldn’t use the government to impose their sense of morality on society.

          He argued that homosexuality was harmful to society as a whole that the state allowing gay marriage would be endorsing it. (He also tried to say that homosexuality caused the fall of the Roman Empire. That didn’t end well for him.)

          We ultimately ended the argument after I argued that saying that Christians have an obligation to vote in order to get candidates elected who will vote to legislate according to Christian morality is no different that Islam’s mandate to kill infidels, conquer the world, and convert everyone sense ultimately the only method for the government to enforce it’s laws is at the point of a gun.

          It’s tough being a free thinking Christian.

          1. Same discussion, different father. He came away a bit more persuaded by my view when I quoted CS Lewis, but still isn’t convinced.

  9. WND editor in chief Joseph Farah said [in] a statement on WND’s website, “There is simply no room [at the WND conference] for compromisers or for people who accept money from those determined to destroy the moral fabric required for self-governance and liberty.”

    I can’t wait until Joseph Farah’s record-setting stash of gay porn is unearthed.

    1. I bet he likes the really kinky stuff, too.

    2. Doubt it. I bet he will hire top quality help at rentboys.com to cart his stash somewhere safe. And everyone knows that if you spend $$ you get good quality help.

  10. Obama is a Muslim and was not born in America. That is absolute fact. Both of which disqualifies him from the presidency.

    1. I find your belief system fascinating.

      1. Hey Kruger, OBAMA is on ecord of being a Muslim and not born in this country. There is a YouTude video of him teling an audience just that thing when he was a candidate.

        Wise up, moron.

        1. If true, and I sincerely doubt that it is, why do you not provide us a link to this?

      2. Being moslem would disqualify him?

        What part of “ne religious test for office” do you not understand?

        I think Jim is an illegal alien; a citizen or legal immigrant would know more about the Constitution.

    2. He’s also on the Ground Zero Mosque donor list. That is absolute fact.

    3. He, like Glen Beck, raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

      What do you mean it’s not true?! Why hasn’t he denied it!

      1. There’s a YouTube video that proves it!

        1. Everyone knows that Obama is a FTM Tranny and yet NO ONE wants to discuss it. I find this very strange.

          1. **crickets**

            SEE!

          2. Do black FTM trannies have bigger dicks than white FTM trannies?

      2. He, like Glen Beck, raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

        Executing a just Sharia death sentence is not murder.

        1. True, especially when it happens on Connecticut Ave.

  11. http://www.slate.com/id/2264403/

    Sympathy for Rupert Murdoch; By Jack Shafer

    For Murdoch or any other CEO, campaign donations aren’t donations?they’re investments. Competing as he does in the highly regulated industry of broadcasting, Murdoch cannot function without government licenses. He cannot expand his broadcast holdings without securing new licenses. Because his very livelihood depends on the whims of politicians and regulators, he’d be insane not to be funneling all the legal cash he can to the most powerful and influential politicians. I hate to write this, but it’s true. Murdoch is a victim of government power. If Washington didn’t flex so much regulatory power, he wouldn’t feel compelled to pay them such steep tribute.

    It seems so obvious, but the average Joe from Lowell never seems to grasp this.

  12. There might never be an acknowledged end to the Iraq war — a moment where it ceases being America’s conflict.

    OTOH, there might be *five* acknowledged ends. Seriously, since congresscreatures no longer adhere to the quaint custom of declaring war, what does this even mean?

    1. I don’t care what you call it. IMO, if we have guys in a foreign country wearing our uniforms and shooting at people, it’s a war.

      1. I hear you, but I’m trying to understand. When guys in a foreign country wearing our uniforms stop shooting at people there is a moment where it ceases being America’s conflict. Right?

  13. The KFC Skinwich

    Every bite tastes like delicious death.

    1. Want pork rinds with that?

      1. They would add a nice textural component.

    2. This is obviously false. I read in a PETA sponsored flyer that KFC chickens dont have skin, beaks, or feet anymore. They are just giant lumps of white meat with 4 legs and 4 wings.

      1. They thought Chicken Little from The Space Merchants was real?

      2. I’m OK with this.

        Actually PETA should prefer that because then is it still technically a chicken? PETA’s goal is to free all animals and kill all humans, isn’t KFC a good means to that end?

        If I ran PETA I’d be a way sneakier and more effective eco-terrorist.

        1. They prefer it because KFC is a corporation to attack.

        2. You’d think these guys would at least read The Monkey Wrench Gang. But then again, Edward Abbey had a sense of humor, which probably would get him lynched at a modern cause-head meeting.

        3. PETA’s goal is to free all animals and kill all humans

          Because we have way more skin than chickens.

    3. “Kentucky Fried Cruelty is allegedly testing a new sandwich at select stores. What kind of sandwich? Try “5 layers of fried chicken skin, lumped on a bun and topped with white american cheese and bacon.” Mmmm, I can already feel my intestines trying to escape out my butthole.”

      1. Really, dude, you are in Lexington, how are you a day behind fark? You could just yell at Drew.

        1. That was aimed at SF, not myself.

        2. I had to give up fark long ago. Even I can can only wade in so much insanity in a day.

      2. I’d be sad if that was the case. I love fried chicken skin.

        1. That was what I got from the fark thread yesterday. I havent actually, you know, RTFA or done research or anything.

        2. Other Skinwich test stores:

          * Ekaf, Maine ? Colbert Blvd.
          * Tihsllub, Oklahoma ? Corner of 3rd & Twain.
          * Eritas, California ? Dense St.

          I think Obama gave a speech near that one in Oklahoma.

          1. He was just looking for a good waffle. Really.

    4. I call complete and total bullshit.

    5. Old Joke:

      Last night I was talking to a young good looking woman.

      She asked me if I liked breasts or legs.

      I told her what I really liked was a shaved snatch.

      Apparently I’m not welcome at KFC anymore.

    6. If that were real, and I weren’t concerned with living to see my children grow up, I would eat the fuck out of that sandwich. Seriously, there would be no fuck left in that sandwich.

  14. Wouldn’t it be funny if Obama did turn out to be a secret Muslim?

    1. And the BP spill wasn’t the Greatest Ecological Disaster in the History of Mankind?.

    2. I’ve been pulling for the secret Muslim thing since January 2008. It really is the best of all possible outcomes.

      1. Would anyone really be surprised?

    3. He may have attended mosque as a kid in Indonesia, but he paid about as much attention to those sermons as he did to Rev. Wright’s, so it’s all good.

    4. He has mentioned his Muslim faith then switched it to Christian recently. Michelle better stay on his good side.

      1. I see you’re a bit confused about who dispenses the beatings in that arrangement.

  15. Amazing. Yesterday the fact that 20% of American Muslims support suicide attacks in some circumstances is evidence American Muslims are “moderate”. Today the fact that 20% of Americans incorrectly identify the president’s religion is somehow damning.

    It makes sense some 20% beliefs are more immoderate than others. But I’m unclear on how supporting suicide attacks is less extreme than incorrectly guessing someone else’s religion.

    1. 20% of American Muslims support suicide attacks

      I’ll be needing a reference on that.

      1. “”I’ll be needing a reference on that.””

        Since when did we start believing in polls?

        1. @ mj86, not secret America.

          1. Apparently we believe them whenever they show something liberals want us to believe.

            1. The correct answer is we believe them when they support our belief.

    2. The most-cited poll (Pew’s of 2004, before AQ and their tactics took a nose dive in opinion abroad) says that 8% of American Muslims support suicide attacks “often” or “sometimes”. Either you’re lying or you’re referring to another poll. If the latter, please link.

      1. “According to the poll, just 5 percent of American Muslims express any level of support for Al Qaeda, and strong majorities condemn suicide attacks for any reason (80+ percent), and have a generally positive image of America and its promise for Muslims.”

        https://reason.com/blog/2010/08…..success-st

        I wonder why you can remember a poll from 2004 but not a post on this very site from two days ago. So either you’re a liar or you cannot process information contrary to your opinions. If the latter, you should probably not be calling other people liars.

        1. 1. Different question with different responses between 2004 & 2007.
          2. Even accounting for the lessening in the number of responses available AND the differing question, the numbers are not that different.
          3. You said something different. To wit:

          Yesterday the fact that 20% of American Muslims support suicide attacks in some circumstances is evidence American Muslims are “moderate”

          …that appears to not be supported by your link.
          4. The accompanying article on NPR inconsistently interprets the under-30 and over-30 numbers on suicide bombing, and their under-30 interpretation is shown in question immediately to the left of the statement in the graphic.
          5. Favorable views of AQ are in the mid single digits for all American Muslim age groups.

          1. 1. Which matters not at all, you brought up the 2004 poll.
            2. So you admit you called me a liar over something immaterial.
            3. Only by parsing the language in a way most won’t, which is why you chose not to be specific about you objection.
            4. More parsing. When you combine the numbers you end up at 18% instead of 20%, so you’re quibbling here about 2%. In turn, the Omaba is a Muslim anwer is actually 18% rounded to twenty, but you have no comment on that.
            5. The issue isn’t AQ, it’s support for suicide bombings. More misdirection, but that seems to be what you’re best at.

            1. Here’s the link to the full study: http://pewresearch.org/assets/…..ricans.pdf
              complete with full survey questions, results and comparisons.

              The summary (as all summaries are) misses some information and interprets stuff which then gets further interpreted, usually poorly or ambiguously (like the NPR story fucked up – i.e. NPR for U-30s somehow adds in an extra 5% not indicated in the summary to the “legitimate” camp while slavishly sticking to the 6% “justified” number among O-30s. And they call these comparable figures.).

          2. ARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARF!!!

            1. Yay! I’ve got my very own spoofer!

            2. Timon, you don’t need a spoofer, you’re doing just fine on your own.

    3. Yesterday the fact that 20% of American Muslims support suicide attacks in some circumstances is evidence American Muslims are “moderate”.

      You can’t just subtract the 80% that repudiate suicide attacks in all circumstances from 100% to to get “20% of American Muslims support suicide attacks”. There’s always a percentage, sometimes quite substantial, that don’t know or refuses to answer the poll question.

      In this case, if you pull up the actual poll, the number you’re looking for is 8%, with 7% saying that they’re sometimes justified and 1% saying that they’re often justified.

      1. Actually, you can. A poll question that asks about some external fact or event can honestly be answered “I don’t know”. A question about your own beliefs can only be honestly answered “I don’t know” if you claim the issue is so unimportant you’ve never considered the matter. This isn’t an issue people can hide from.

        So in this case we have 8% of American Muslims openly admitting they support it in some circumstances, and another ~10% who can’t bring themselves to explicitly admit it, but neverthless agree that it is supportable in some circumstances.

        1. I’m curious how many Americans would support attacks on government officials. I hear all this talk about armed revolution, so there must be some.

          1. I agree, there must be some, but that is hardly the same as suicide attacks, which are largely carried out against civilians.

            1. Targeting civilians in a time of war in order to get a population to submit is nothing new and is not unique to muslims.

              Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending the practice, but the idea that “8% of Muslim Americans say suicide bombings against civilian targets tactics are often (1%) or sometimes (7%) justified…” is hardly shocking.

            2. Suicide bomber is the best weapon delivery system they can afford.

              If we really think it’s wrong, perhaps we can loan them some money to buy real weapons. 😉

              1. Bombs with wings on them sent from miles away is perfectly acceptable. It’s when the bomb is attached to the aggressor that it becomes sinister.

    4. What’s your point? If you asked white Christian Americans if they believed bombing people was ever ‘justified’ what percentage of people do you think would say it’s ‘justified in some circumstances’?

      What percentage of Americans supported “shock and awe” at the beginning of the Iraq war? I guarantee it was more than 20%.

      1. My point? We are pretending that there is some profoundly scary implication that 18% of Americans think Obama’s a muslim, while cheering that roughly 18% of American muslims support suicide attacks in some circumstances. The NYT, WAPO, virtually every mainstream media outlet is trumpeting this like it means something.

        Doesn’t it seem we’re searching for reasons to attack conservatives while concurrently searching for reasons to excuse muslims. Doesn’t it seem we’ve internalized their bias to such a dgree we’ve lost our perspective?

        1. “We are pretending that there is some profoundly scary implication that 18% of Americans think Obama’s a muslim”

          Scary? I’d say more like ‘stupid’.

    5. So wait –

      At the end of Independence Day, when Randy Quaid flies his plane with attached malfunctioning missile into the invading aliens’ Primary Weapon, are you telling me that wasn’t justified?

      Dude, I can think of LOTS of theoretical suicide attacks that would be justified.

      Jew wearing bomb belt runs up to Hitler in 1941 and blows himself, and Adolf, up. Justified.

      Communist dictator takes power in United States. Nick Gillespie cleverly hides bomb in new leather jacket, infiltrates White Red House and blows up Commie Dictator and Vice-Dictator. And himself. Justified.

      Do you really want to play this game?

      1. That fact that you can pretend this is the question tells me quite a bit about your ability to reach a conclusion. In fact, the question specifically defines the context as “defending Islam” by attacking “civilian targets”.

        But you feel free to play your games.

        1. The fact of the matter is that if I can think of any theoretical case in which the use of the tactic would be justified, that means that I have to answer “sometimes justified”.

          I would personally never do it, because I’d rather strap a bomb to YOU and drop YOU on somebody.

          Basically you’re looking for the answer “political violence is never justified ever ever ever” and there are lots of perfectly reasonable ways to not give that answer.

      2. It goes without saying that The Jacket would go without damage, if such an incident were to transpire.

  16. Is Obama a “secret smoker”?

    1. Nah, he’s been outed, so it isn’t a secret any more. I’m wondering why the White House Flickr stream never has pics of him and whoever out at the WH smoking area solving all the world’s problems. Cause you know he isn’t lighting up in the Oval – there’d be more outrage over that than Clinton’s use of cigars, even unlit. I also wonder, when he’s stuck on AF1 for those long flights to Hawaii, or Copenhagen, if he indulged straight out, or snuck into one of the bathrooms and disabled the smoke detector. So many questions, so little transparency. Kinda like that’s a hallmark of this administration, or somethin.

      1. I’m wondering why the White House Flickr stream never has pics of him and whoever out at the WH smoking area solving all the world’s problems.

        The children might see it!

    2. Midnight toker?

    3. Any smoking in the White House or within a certain distance of any entrance would be a violation of federal law.

      There’s probably a loophole for the residence quarters, but I can’t imagine Michelle lets him smoke there.

  17. The developers behind the Islamic center planned for a site near Ground Zero won’t rule out accepting financing from the Mideast — including from Saudi Arabia and Iran — as they begin searching for $100 million needed to build the project.

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/Polit…..d=11429998

  18. WND editor in chief Joseph Farah said a statement on WND’s website, “There is simply no room [at the WND conference] for compromisers or for people who accept money from those determined to destroy the moral fabric required for self-governance and liberty.”

    Umm, what?

    1. If you knew anything about self governance and liberty, you’d understand.

    2. Also, I love this comment:

      Wow! Guilty until proven innocent! She hadn’t even given any remarks or done anything other than agreeing to address the GOPProud conference. Without knowing the topic or content of her upcoming speech, she has been judged a heretic. That sounds so much more like the closed minded progressives than the Christian value based conservative movement. Give her a break, she is an excellent speaker and is certainly not going to go all liberal on anyone. Bad form!
      BY 1776FEDERALIST on 08/19/2010 at 08:56

      She is too crazy enough for you! Give her another chance!

      1. That sounds so much more like the closed minded progressives than the Christian value based conservative movement.

        I thought the christian values crowd WAS a closed-minded progressive movement…?

      2. Wow! Guilty until proven innocent! She hadn’t even given any remarks or done anything other than agreeing to address the GOPProud conference.

        Shit, yeah, how does anyone know that she didn’t take the gig so she could scream “all you fucking homos are going to burn in hell!” at them?

        I wouldn’t put it past her.

        That said, I doubt that AC really gives a shit who’s putting his dong into whose ding.

        In fact I doubt that her concept of the “the moral fabric required for self-governance and liberty” is anywhere near the one advanced by the conservative “christian” community. I don’t even think she believes in God at all. In other words, I think she is mostly an act.

        Of course, judging by the number of leaders of the conservative “christian” community who have been exposed as womanizers and chronic adulters or patron of prostitutes of either orientation I think it’s fair to say that most of them don’t really tow the lion on that whole “the moral fabric required for self-governance and liberty” schtick either.

        But apparently in this great country of ours there are plenty of rubes who do and are willing to part with lots of brass to show it.

  19. SugarFree, I’ve had the most absurd nightmare. I could post images here and make words blink. Then I lost my images, I lost my tags. The webmaster hated me. And it was all because of this terrible, awful Tulpa.

    1. It wasn’t a nightmare, my friend. I hate that you must wake up to a world of such limited possibilities. I would make them pay for trampling your dreams if it were in my power to do so.

      1. It is my understanding that 20% of political blogs have secret places where you can post images and blinky things.

      2. Thank you for your kind words. What a horrible world this is! It was like have a flying car only to have the nanny state take it away and ban its further use.

        It’s just too much!

      3. I would make them pay for trampling your dreams if it were in my power to do so.

        And I would pay them to trample your dreams, etc.

        [adjusts monocle, tips top hat to a jaunty angle, summons chauffer]

        1. See? The Dukes were behind it!

    2. The webmaster hated me.

      Not just the webmaster.

      1. Agreed. I read this at work and really don’t want to scroll into a picture of two lesbians having sex. Well, at least not at work.

        1. I don’t recall seeing any porn. Why do you hate freedom?

          1. Freedom is porn.

          2. Freedom is porn.

            1. Now that, that’s insight.

            2. Oh, and I forgot to mention that we are calling for a full investigation of freedom-lovers, er, I mean porn-lovers. We plan to get to the bottom of this astro-snatch movement!

    3. And it was all because of this terrible, awful Tulpa.

      That can only mean that it’s time for the spankings and oral sex.

    4. Tulpa will just claim it was the Dukes.

      1. Actually, I think it was the Dukes.

    5. You deserve whatever happens to you for using the blink tag.

      1. I warned you in advance, but did you listen? Noooooooo.

    6. You should find some way to trick Tulpa into abusing threads.

      1. FCOJ.

    7. Given my rep, ProL’s comment is going to be interpreted by many as meaning I complained to the webmaster and got him in trouble. That is not the case; apparently he thinks my covering up other people’s comments with Lobster Girl and Zombie Weigal images is what led Reason to crack down.

      ProL, you’re deluded if you think they weren’t going to take away our toys whether we abused them or not.

      1. No, no, no, and no. I wanted to do the “I had the most absurd nightmare” quote from Trading Places. The last line is about a “terrible, awful negro” (referring to Eddie Murphy’s character), and I thought I should insert something else as the object. Since you were instrumental in the brilliance of yesterday’s suppressed revolution, I chose you.

        Credit where credit is due. All hail Tulpa and Amakudari!

        1. Oh, and I’m sure Mike jumped on the exploit very early on. It was hardly difficult to notice. We were going to lose our toys quickly, any way you cut it.

    8. Wait, you can make things <blink>blink?</blink>

      Hey, I’m a scientist. It’s for science.

      1. We could yesterday but no longer.

  20. Legal changes to make it a criminal rather than an administrative offence to sell alcohol to minors are also in the pipeline and last month police began enforcing a zero drink-drive limit.

    You used to be cool Russia.

  21. “Skinwich”

    Egad!

    1. “It rubs the lotion on it’s moist and delicious skin”

      Buk-KAW!

      1. “It rubs the hot sauce on it’s moist and delicious butthole.”

  22. “You were in my dream. And you! And you! And you were doing things; dirty, dirty things. Oh, Mother, it was AWFUL. I feel so dirty.”

    1. For the record, I was ripping off Trading Places.

      1. I’m surprised no one caught that.

        1. We might have if he’d been able to use the ‘Eddie Murphy’ style attribute. Damned webmaster.

          1. Damn this blog! God damn this blog to heeeellll!

      2. Which was ripping off The Wizard of Oz.

        1. Homage, man, homage. Completely different thing. Besides, Trading Places was a great movie.

          1. The working title, according to legend or maybe Wiki, was Black and White, but that was deemed too incendiary by the purveyors of Hollywood wholesomeness, random sex and gratuitous explosions.

      3. For the record, I was ripping off Trading Places.

        OK, I apologize for not remembering a line from an R-rated movie that came out when I was 5.

        1. Well, you need to go watch it.

          What happened to Cyberpunk Tulpa, anyway?

          1. I put him back in his cage after I finished cleaning it.

            1. Fair enough. As I hope you’ve noted upthread, I wasn’t picking on you. I honor your contribution to the Day of the Commenters. Without you, where would we have been?

  23. The average Russian drinks a litre and a half of pure alcohol every month…

    Holy shit!

    1. That comes out to 4.25 1 oz shots of 80 proof vodka per day. Not exactly Leaving Las Vegas levels of drinking.

      1. Yeah, and 1/2 a million deaths per year? Whats the figure for america, where we’ve already been teatotalling for a while now? I’m betting we’re not far behind.

      2. yes, but that’s an average. you don’t have to much above average in Russia to approach heroic quantities of vodka.

        maybe heroic isn’t the right word. but that is average Russian, right? not average Russian drinker, or adult single male? Crazy.

        1. Meh. 1 hardcore alkie who drinks 1.5 liters/day accounts for 29 teetotalers. That’s the problem with using the average and not the median.

          1. That hardcore alkie would be drinking a gallon of vodka every day.

            I see your point, but that is still a shitload of vodka.

            1. 1 liter = 1.05 quarts

              1. The 1.5L figure was in pure alcohol. So, 1.5L pure alcohol = 3.75L 80 proof vodka = 1 gallon in english measurement.

                1. Damnation. I blame NASA.

      3. To put it in an American perspective, that’s one 24 pack of Miller Lite per week for every Russian of drinking age.

        1. Or two kegs of Michelob Ultra.

          1. What’s bottled water have to do with beer?

            1. Little known fact: one can use it in lieu of tap water when it floods.

            2. It’s not water…

          2. When did they start putting alcohol in mic-ultra?

    2. My in-laws, they are above average. I preacticed for several months prior to my last visit. While I consider myself an accomplished alky the levels consumed as mere daily allowance over there are astronomic.

      2 glasses of wine per day MY ASS!

  24. And at this point, the whole thing jumps the shark. That place in NYC that reason won’t talk about is now condemned as a Zionist conspiracy.

    1. Well, he didn’t do anything to really discredit himself, like mention the Greek Orthodox Church.

  25. He’s the worst elements of Carter plus the worst elements of LBJ.

    I suspect we’ll get a big dollop of Nixon, before he comes clanking and shuddering to a halt.

    1. C’mon, “I’m not a crook” has soooo been overdone already.

    2. I am completely unable to separate the real Nixon from Futurama’s Robot Nixon in my mind. I just got a vision of Obama’s head on a robot’s body walking through walls in the White House.

  26. It seems that someone at MSNBC is not without a sense of irony… check out the web address tag for this morning’s article on the “end of combat” in Iraq:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38…..erjetpilot

    Lol. “Mission Accomplished”?

    1. “”Lol. “Mission Accomplished”?””

      It’s not over until they change the name. That’s where Bush went wrong. lol.

      I’m still wondering which mission?
      To rid Iraq of WMD? We did that back in 91
      To remove Saddam from power? check
      To bring a better quality of life to the Iraqis? Wellll, check back in another 20 years.

  27. btw, I’d like to commend reason’s webmaster on a speedy and comprehensive response to the threat of style attributes.

    1. Agreed. Very quick and seamless. A shame that what had already happened couldn’t be preserved, but, from his perspective, it was a hole that had to be closed. Good thing we found it rather than the Left-Libertarian Menace.

      For those who didn’t participate, while some of the features could probably be used here in a limited fashion, there were problems that could’ve allowed trolls to basically take out the comments section. Not to mention the usual issues with images.

      I know of several major blogs that allow images to be posted. I always figured they were closely moderated to avoid anything too godawful.

      1. For everyone who missed it, Joshua Corning memorialized the moment (or should it be movement?) at the Reason wiki.

        To see it still in use elsewhere (as discovered by Tulpa), well, go elsewhere.

      2. “Even now, Left-Libertarians are lurking in our playgrounds, our breezeways, even in… our comments section!”

        [gasp!]

        1. Come now, there’s no such thing as a Left-Libertarian. People are so gullible. Do you fear elves, too?

          1. No but I fear Lepricans. The little bastards are sneaky.

            1. Plus they have atrocious hygiene.

            2. Must you Anglicize even the spelling of Irish mystical beasties? Oppressor! As a rule, the Irish spell slightly worse than they organize. Add random letters until it seems nearly French, and you’ll be good.

      3. I really would prefer that Sugar Free not have the ability to illustrate his fiction if it is all the same to you.

        1. He could’ve, but he never did. Surprising restraint on his part. Almost scary levels of self-control.

          1. Just building pressure for an explosion.

            1. Tomato, tomahtoe. Explosion, sweet, sweet release

            2. One does wonder whether all exploits were closed yesterday. I rather foolishly threw down the gauntlet to Episiarch, challenging him to out do the rest of us on some epic scale. I think he’s in sage’s lair under the Olympics right now, devising some horrific coding.

            3. Damn, looks like they even shanked basic html like the italics tag!

              1. Italics

                1. Bold
                  Strike

                  Blockquote

                  1. Blink!

                    Just kidding.

                  2. The blog has resumed its shape. All is as it was before.

  28. Some douche bag was on Morning Joe today saying that if you wanted to end a war, the quickest way would be to re-establish the draft, because historically, doing so has ended wars really, really fast. And all I could think was how there was a draft in 1967 and the Vietnam war didn’t end until 1975. I don’t consider eight year really, really fast. There sure are some dumb fuckers pontificating on TV.

    1. Yeah because the draft ended the Vietnam war so quickly.

      1. Someone should mention that the draft went on for nearly a decade in the Vietnam conflict – Vietnam didn’t really end quickly because of the draft.

        1. And opposition didn’t pick up until they got rid of the college deferements. All those college kid anti-war protestors only got riled up when it affected them.

    2. Maybe he meant draft Congressmen?

    3. I’m pretty sure South Vietnam had a draft all the way till 1975.

  29. http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/t…..sque-as-a-‘zionist-conspiracy’/

    Top Egyptian cleric says WTC Moque a “Zionist conspiracy”. BWAAAAA/!

    1. Ah, good. Matching insanity.

      1. I want to see this guy debate Nanny Bloomburg.

        1. But, but, we’d have to listen to Nurse Bloomberg for that. Arrrgh

  30. So I missed most of the fun yesterday, but I hope that someone goatse’d. Was the secret just that the img tag worked?

    Also, I saw these dudes last night and it ruled just as much as you’d think.

    1. I am on the ACELA today going to Boston. Your link was blocked by AMTRAK. Warty, your entertainment is not Amtrak approved. Who did you see? Insane Clown Posse?

      1. Megadeth and Slayer. The most amusing part, even more than all the poorly-aging white trash on display in the audience, was that the concert ended precisely at 11pm. Old dudes who are rocking for a paycheck are hilarious.

        1. I saw Iron Maiden this summer. And it ended at 11 to. And at least half the audience was over 40. But they gave a great show. They really haven’t missed a beat.

          1. There’s a lot to be said for seeing a band that’s played together for 30 years. They seem to get unbelievably tight around the 10,000th show.

            1. the last slayer album was surprisingly tight.

              if you haven’t read the 33 1/3 book on reign in blood, i recommend that wholeheartedly.

            2. It is good and bad. If they work hard, to go professional. And they become tight and consistent. But also some of the spontinaity of a young band that doesn’t quite know what it is doing goes away. And there is some fun in that.

              The Rolling Stones are a good example of that. If you listen to the live record they made at the Beacon Theater in 2007 and compare to Get Your Ya Yas Out, them at MSG in 1969, the band is better and more consistent in 07. Kieth Richards doesn’t miss a note all night. And he misses several in 1969. But Get Your YaYAs out still totally kicks ass. There is a feeling of you just don’t what the fuck they are going to do next. So it is a trade off. But then there are some bands that just suck no matter long they play together.

              1. You don’t think Keith’s zombieism has something to do with his lack of spontanaeity?

                1. If being a zombie makes you that good of a band leader, I don’t care if the whole damned music industry goes zombie. The guy can still play.

                  1. It’s all fine until someone gets eaten.

    2. There was a threat to goatse left unfulfilled.

    3. Considering you posted a comment about how much you hated me for posting that giant Weigal picture, you saw most of it.

      It was an inline CSS trick, actually, which was discovered by wylie (for changing text color) and then extended by Amdurai to enable background colors and images.

  31. I really cannot decided if this is some seriously fucked up Christian indoctrination or a prank by the bitterest atheist ever.

    Video link

    1. Is that a Christian ICP?

      1. ICP is the Christian ICP.

    2. This is what you gave up fark for? That’s disturbing.

  32. “Even now, Left-Libertarians are lurking in our playgrounds, our breezeways, even in… our comments section!”

    “I have, here in my hand, a list of names… Now, I ask again; are you now, or have you ever been, a liberaltarian?”

  33. Obama’s Agenda to Destroy the Few Remaining Solvent States

    The Senate is set to nationalize public union collective bargaining. Awesome.

    But about that Mosque…

    1. tut tut! Didn’t you see? It’s not a mosque, it’s a Zionist conspiracy now! Try and keep up.

    2. Oh. My. God.

      But if this does pass, what’s to stop the states from saying “you passed this law, you bargain and you pay for it,” or something like that. This has to be a lawsuit waiting to happen.

      1. Or just ignoring the law altogether. I think we’re increasingly approaching the point of no return, where some state far to the left or right either explicitly secedes or implicitly does so by telling the feds where they can shove their mandate. That’s when shit comes tumbling down — there won’t be any large scale civil war to speak of this time, because it’s everyone versus Washington, not red versus blue, and they’ve got no moral crusade to rally support this time.

  34. “Conservative superstar Ann Coulter launched a verbal assault on WND Editor Joseph Farah today, calling the veteran journalist “swine” and a publicity whore after she was dismissed as a keynote speaker for the news site’s upcoming “Taking America Back National Conference” here.

    http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=192885

    1. When Ann Colter calls you a publicity whore, that has really got to hurt.

      1. It certainly hurts when you’re laughing really hard at it.

  35. I came here for the mosquerbating, and was sorely disappointed.

  36. I’m starting to think that one in five Americans really fucking hate stupid fucking polls and will say just about anything on when questioned, just the to screw “the man”.

  37. And damn you for making me feel sympathetic to Ann frikkin Coulter. I used to enjoy hating her.

  38. If Obamas not a Muslim
    Im not a bitter clinger.

    WAKE UP AMERICA

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