Friday Funnies

The education bailout

Comments

[Suki]

Good morning reason!

Bok, almost funny.

There are 10 kinds of teachers. None that can do.

[Almanian]

Morning, Suki and everyone.

[Suki]

Hi Almanian.

[phryxian houndmaster]

Actually there are 11 kinds of teachers:

Those who teach binary, those who don’t, and those who teach this joke has gotten old.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A third student (out of frame) is underweight and eating the pages of his 1952 history textbook for lack of food stamps.

Go edgy, Bok.

[JoshINHB]

Are those kids or midgets?

What’s wrong with boy midget’s hand?

[SugarFree]

His mom smashed it a car door for being a smartass.

[Almanian]

That made me actually LOL….

[Knoss]

No he weight 300 lbs because of lack of organic vegtables.

[The Angry Optimist]

In the latest edition of Friday Funnies, Chip Bok imagines what a bailout for the public educaiton system might look like.

The irony is just too much. joe’z law looms large.

[-]

Nah, it’s intentional. Understated irony.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Kids aren’t that well behaved in class. Half of them are usually brandishing weapons, and the other half are smoking out back. I call shenanigans.

[?]

I thought the other half were sexting. Why will nobody tell me the truth?

[Drax the Destroyer]

Whoops…I forgot it wasn’t the 80s anymore out there in high school land. Sexting it is.

[Law Student]

Hell I graduated in ’04 and sexting was before MY time.

[Law Student]

After….

fuck

[Clich? Bandit]

Are you certain you graduated?

Just sayin’

[Koba, Too]

Half are brandishing, half are smoking, half are sexting.

It all adds up.

[LarryA]

There are no weapons or drugs on campus. It says so on the little sign by the parking lot entrance.

[are sea tee el]

Praise the load!

[BakedPenguin]

Still have nothing better to do?

[BakedPenguinRetum]

Yum…with special sauce!

[Alan Vanneman]

Definitely the funniest Chip Bok cartoon ever, with or without the post-ironic typo. (Since I’m a writer, I sympathize. No one’s perfect, damn it.)

[I stole your bike]

That child’s parents need to be arrested for exposing him to FOX news.
He should be put into a MSNBC reindoctrination camp immediately.
Madcow and Olberf?hrer will set him back on the right track.

[theocrat]

The bar is not very high

[Shannon Love]

He has the math wrong.

10 teachers-2 teachers + federal bailout=6 teachers, 5 “administrators” and 1 janitor making $85,000/yr.

[The Angry Optimist]

And five more nurses trained to administer Diastat.

[Drax the Destroyer]

And five more nurses “trained” to use Diastat.

Fixed it for ya.

[Valkor]

If schools in my district actually *had* nurses, that would almost be funny. Hell, my kid’s school doesn’t even have a librarian.

[BakedPenguin]

They have to pay for the administrators.

[A. Freeman]

Don’t forget the SRO and their brand new Taser. The bailout covered police as well.

[Knoss]

In this time of economic difficulty we need every overpaid entitled worker to manage the scarce funds and cut wasted spending.

[are sea tee el]

Loads are free!

[Jim]

They don’t have librarians any more. They’re now “media specialists”.

[?]

This morning on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, some guy who’s doing some show this Sunday on MSNBC about the “broken” schools talked and talked and everyone around the table nodded and fretted but nobody thought to ask him why, after 50 years of nodding and fretting about the “broken” schools, they’ve gotten worse, and maybe, just maybe, the problem is public education.

[Almanian]

You watchin’ Glenn Beck again? That’s just cazy talk! Crazy!

Teh Science is Settled!!!1!! The public sector is our economic future!!! More teachers, firepersons, Peace Ossifers and DMV ‘crats = lifetime employment at a living wage!!

And we’ll pay for it all with taxes on the rich!!! What could possibly go worng….

[JoshINHB]

Public education is a jobs program.

It’s just a side benefit if any kids get educated along the way.

[AlmightyJB]

Actually, they’re trying to indoctrinate, not educate. It’s a win-win for the dems.

[Spoonman.]

My wife was recently hired by Houston Independent School District, one of the largest in the country, to tutor kids in math at what could easily be the worst high school in the city, if not the state. School starts on Monday, and the first look she gets at the curriculum is today. But that’s OK, because HISD fucked up everyone’s schedules, so for the first four days of school everyone will just sit in homeroom while the sort the schedules out. So, they’re now paying my Ivy League-educated wife to be a goddamn hall monitor for a week. And they’ll be a week behind on their curriculum.

As a bonus, she can’t give the kids grades and she can’t discipline them, and a huge proportion (41%) of them don’t speak English, so what the hell can she possibly accomplish?

[waffles]

can she whack their wrists with a ruler? that’s how I learned maths.

[I stole your bike]

so what the hell can she possibly accomplish?

If they gave her a task as well as the tools to accomplish it they wouldn’t have an excuse to demand more money.

[Marshall Gill]

what the hell can she possibly accomplish?

She can collect a paycheck and generous benefits. For what other purpose is the public school system?

[eternal optimist]

To create mindless drones that live in an emotional haze, reacting rather than responding, regurgitating information rather than thinking, judging ideas by the source rather than the content, and always looking to the government rather than themselves as the solution to all problems encountered during their pathetic lives.

[Spoonman.]

As a bonus, my wife just informed me that the high school she’s working at has 200 African refugees to deal with, who have never encountered writing before. Extra-helpful, they’re Muslim, and so will have no food or water during the school day during the next three weeks, which are Ramadan.

Somehow, HISD thinks that putting these kids in high school is a good idea.

[d]

Muslim “refugees”? I’m skeptical. It’s mostly Muslims slaughtering Christians in Africa. Sounds like they made up some excuse to be “refugees” just so they could skirt the usual (dead-end) immigration process…not that I blame them.

[Knoss]

If 41% of the students in Houston speak Spanish, why not just have Spanish language schools where students learn math, science, philsophy, economics, etc in Spanish then take English classes. If the Hispanis community in Texas is that large many could get by without learning English and if many would learn English when they find they can get a really good job by being billingual.

[I stole your bike]

Isn’t central planning great?

[A. Freeman]

Your wife will not be employed for long in any Publik Skool with an attitude like that. Go along, get along, pay your Union dues and retire.

[unions suck]

I like to be paid based on my ability, not something stupid like how long I have been employed.

[Government Automaton]

What nonsense is that. Paid for ability? Scoff, Hah. Silly human.

[Draco]

What no one in a position of responsibility or authority wants to talk about, apparently, is that you could keep the 12 teachers and not have to cut any actual services to the children by simply reducing the teachers’ salaries, benefits, and their future pensions. Of course that’s what teachers unions are for: to make sure those kind of cuts never happen.

[DesigNate]

God forbid I defend the rent seekers, but not all teachers make a lot of money. It really depends on the state you live in.

[harlot]

For the mere 180 contact days per year, half the pay would be excessive.

[sage]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Almanian]

I am gravely disappointed that Friday Funnies is not, in fact, dead.

I guess my magnum opus FF obituary a couple weeks ago was a bit premature.

I’m keepin’ an eye you, Friday Funnies…you look a little peaked to me. It would be – unfortunate – if Nurse Ratchet showed up in the middle of the night with a pillow to “comfort” you…

[-]

It was the big Indian who “comforted” Jack Nicholson’s character in Cuckoo’s Nest, and it’s Nurse Ratched, but whatever.

[Lamar]

Perhaps you’d prefer they raise property taxes?

[The Angry Optimist]

I would prefer privatization.

[Lamar]

Privatization is OK by me, but somehow I doubt that the municipalities would stop collecting school taxes. They’d just call it a parks tax or asinine trolley on Main Street tax.

[Chip Bok]

Kiss my ass.

[waffles]

That’s your defense? Uninspired puppetry.

[P Brooks]

Is that Peppermint Patty’s granddaughter?

[Sean L.]

You mean the one standing up?

[Sean L.]

“What is 10 teachers minus 2 teachers?”

A good start.

[The_Chef]

Bravo sir!

[Lean S.]

“What is 10 teachers minus 2 teachers?”

A good start.

No, no!

“A drop in the bucket, alas.”

[Nipplemancer]

spittin’ image of my hs alegebra teacher. how’d you do it Bok?

[Confused Mayor Bloomberg]

We need to put more teachers on the street!

[Mayor's Aide]

He’s talking good common sense again. Quick, give him another shot of brandy!

[Metazoan]

Dreams come true!

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