Phrases I'd Like to See in the Papers More Often


"a harem of a dozen phony nuns"


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  1. Well, I’d like to see “No one knew just how deep her gunt really was.”

    1. “How deep is your gunt?
      I really need to learn
      ‘Cause we’re living in a world of fools
      Breakin’ us down
      When they all should let us be
      We belong to you and me”

      1. Yes, that is awesome

  2. The Post gives you harems of nuns. And the Times gives you Tom Friedman. Is there any wonder why one is making money and the other will be bankrupt and out of existence before the decade is out?

    1. The Post gives you harems of nuns. And the Times gives you Tom Friedman.

      Put them together, and you get a harem of nuns WITH MUSTACHES.

      1. The next six nuns will be crucial…

        1. Fantastic job.

      2. Jesse, from the looks of it, it bet quite of few of the phony nuns already have mustaches.

        1. Well, maybe one of them is Tom Friedman. I mean, it’s possible. Hey, I’m just asking questions here.

          1. If Friedman turned out to be a begging fake nun that lived in a rape cult during off hours, I’m pretty sure the Internet would explode.

  3. there’s such a thing as canned pasta?

    1. Chef Boyardee, baby. The food of the gods.

      1. And people wonder why the gods are so vengeful.

        1. Nothing shits like Beef-a-roni.

          1. We’re having Barf-a-roni
            It tastes like sour baloney
            Barf-a-roni’s really neat
            It makes you vomit in the street
            For Chef Boy-ar-dee

      2. There is also brands of canned macaroni and cheese.

    2. If Spaghetti-O’s counts.

      1. that was the food that I thought when I was a kid, if there was only one food I could eat when stranded on an island, it would be the orangy goodness of spaghetti-o’s…without the meatballs – spaghetti-o’s meatballs were excrable. If only there was some way to combine spaghetti-o’s with Chef-boyardee meatballs…that would be heaven…

  4. People are so quick to judge all Unholy Rape Clans because of the actions of a few…

    1. Her real name is Mindy LeGrand, 54, and she’s connected to a “church” in Crown Heights founded in the 1970s by a killer rapist with a harem of a dozen phony nuns. The church is now led by the founder’s son, who is also a convicted rapist.

      Was it really rape, rape?

      1. She was not unresponsive.

    2. I’m naming my next metal band “Unholy Rape Clan”.

  5. Yikes:

    Soon, the public learned that there was more to Mr. LeGrand than his dispatch of charity seekers whose garb confused many New Yorkers. In 1975, he and a son were convicted of raping a young woman in the four-story building at 222 Brooklyn Avenue that housed the church and the LeGrand family.

    Then, amid bigger headlines in 1977, he and a stepson were convicted of charges that in 1975 they had beaten and stomped two teenage sisters to death in the building and dismembered their bodies. The men murdered the sisters, the prosecutors said, to keep them from testifying in the rape case. Later in 1977, Mr. LeGrand was convicted of having similarly murdered and dismembered his wife in 1970 in the Brooklyn building.…

  6. Seeing the word “harem”, then seeing the pictures that accompany the article, totally ruins the word “harem” for me.

    1. And now imagine what those “42 virgins” look like…

  7. You’re a sick bastard Jesse and I mean that in a good way.

  8. Given the trend of the Episcopal Church the last couple of decades, it wouldn’t have shocked me if she had indeed been affiliated with it.

  9. Ever notice the women at an anti-abortion rally?
    You wouldn’t want to fuck any of them anyway!

    1. …it’s like we had a mind meld going there or something…:)

    2. I beg to differ, dude.

      1. You’d have a much better chance of getting laid with at a peace rally than an anti-abortion rally.

        1. I would think if you made it known that you have had a vasectomy that you would be able to get some action.

          1. Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great…

          2. Shootin blanks here!
            Come and get your blanks!
            Shootin blanks here!

      2. Megan: Hey, you’re really hardcore, aren’t you?

        Mac: Oh, well, you know. I mean, if you really wanna see hardcore… (hands her a piece of paper)

        Megan: What’s this?

        Mac: That’s the list of doctors I’m gonna kill.

        Megan: There’s two already crossed out.

        Mac: Yeah, I know.

  10. Well, they may be scam artists, but at least most of them are good looking.

  11. I’m starting a band called The Unfuckable Nuns.

    1. May I suggest “Kill” by Alberto y Lost Trios Paranoias as your first single?

      I don’t give a damn I don’t fucking care
      I’m gonna kill me mum then pull out me hair
      I’m fed up with the dole and the human race
      I’m gonna cut me liver out and shove it in your face!

    1. NUN OF THAT!…..01×400.jpg

  12. If Friedman turned out to be a begging fake nun that lived in a rape cult during off hours

    That might explain his love of “can-do” authoritarian father figures.

  13. I find the headline “Lying nun begs on behalf of unholy rape clan” a bit over-broad.

  14. Noconda did eight years in prison for raping the same woman his dad brutalized. He was released in 1984.

    At some point, you’d think the woman would, you know, distance herself from these people…

    1. Oh, sure, blame the victim.

      A woman has a right to walk down the street or sit in on a unholy rape clan without being violated.

      Unless, of course, she’s dressed provocatively.

  15. Gotta love the given names in the article: Devernon, Noconda, and Quomenters.

  16. “a harem of a dozen phony nuns”

    Among its other virtues, the phrase is a line of iambic pentameter. I’m surprised nobody else mentioned this in almost 50 comments.

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