Phrases I'd Like to See in the Papers More Often

Jesse Walker | 7.26.2010 10:21 AM

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Warty 15 years ago

Well, I'd like to see "No one knew just how deep her gunt really was."
1. SugarFree 15 years ago
  
  "How deep is your gunt?
  I really need to learn
  'Cause we're living in a world of fools
  Breakin' us down
  When they all should let us be
  We belong to you and me"
  1. Almanian 15 years ago
    
    Yes, that is awesome
John 15 years ago

The Post gives you harems of nuns. And the Times gives you Tom Friedman. Is there any wonder why one is making money and the other will be bankrupt and out of existence before the decade is out?
1. Jesse Walker 15 years ago
  
  The Post gives you harems of nuns. And the Times gives you Tom Friedman.
  
  Put them together, and you get a harem of nuns WITH MUSTACHES.
  1. Bender Bending Rodriguez 15 years ago
    
    The next six nuns will be crucial...
    1. SugarFree 15 years ago
      
      Fantastic job.
  2. SugarFree 15 years ago
    
    Jesse, from the looks of it, it bet quite of few of the phony nuns already have mustaches.
    1. Jesse Walker 15 years ago
      
      Well, maybe one of them is Tom Friedman. I mean, it's possible. Hey, I'm just asking questions here.
      1. SugarFree 15 years ago
        
        If Friedman turned out to be a begging fake nun that lived in a rape cult during off hours, I'm pretty sure the Internet would explode.
Edwin 15 years ago

there's such a thing as canned pasta?
1. Jeff P 15 years ago
  
  Chef Boyardee, baby. The food of the gods.
  1. Aresen 15 years ago
    
    And people wonder why the gods are so vengeful.
    1. Odin 15 years ago
      
      Nothing shits like Beef-a-roni.
      1. Mainer 15 years ago
        
        We're having Barf-a-roni
        It tastes like sour baloney
        Barf-a-roni's really neat
        It makes you vomit in the street
        Hurray!
        Whee!
        For Chef Boy-ar-dee
  2. SugarFree 15 years ago
    
    There is also brands of canned macaroni and cheese.
2. Suki 15 years ago
  
  If Spaghetti-O's counts.
  1. fresnodan 15 years ago
    
    that was the food that I thought when I was a kid, if there was only one food I could eat when stranded on an island, it would be the orangy goodness of spaghetti-o's...without the meatballs - spaghetti-o's meatballs were excrable. If only there was some way to combine spaghetti-o's with Chef-boyardee meatballs...that would be heaven...
Jeff P 15 years ago

People are so quick to judge all Unholy Rape Clans because of the actions of a few...
1. Suki 15 years ago
  
  Her real name is Mindy LeGrand, 54, and she's connected to a "church" in Crown Heights founded in the 1970s by a killer rapist with a harem of a dozen phony nuns. The church is now led by the founder's son, who is also a convicted rapist.
  
  Was it really rape, rape?
  1. WTF 15 years ago
    
    She was not unresponsive.
2. A_is_A 15 years ago
  
  I'm naming my next metal band "Unholy Rape Clan".
Jerry 15 years ago

Yikes:

Soon, the public learned that there was more to Mr. LeGrand than his dispatch of charity seekers whose garb confused many New Yorkers. In 1975, he and a son were convicted of raping a young woman in the four-story building at 222 Brooklyn Avenue that housed the church and the LeGrand family.

Then, amid bigger headlines in 1977, he and a stepson were convicted of charges that in 1975 they had beaten and stomped two teenage sisters to death in the building and dismembered their bodies. The men murdered the sisters, the prosecutors said, to keep them from testifying in the rape case. Later in 1977, Mr. LeGrand was convicted of having similarly murdered and dismembered his wife in 1970 in the Brooklyn building.

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09.....ng-up.html
The Other Kevin 15 years ago

Seeing the word "harem", then seeing the pictures that accompany the article, totally ruins the word "harem" for me.
1. Ron L 15 years ago
  
  And now imagine what those "42 virgins" look like...
AlmightyJB 15 years ago

You're a sick bastard Jesse and I mean that in a good way.
Jeffersonian 15 years ago

Given the trend of the Episcopal Church the last couple of decades, it wouldn't have shocked me if she had indeed been affiliated with it.
Ghost of George Carlin 15 years ago

Ever notice the women at an anti-abortion rally?
You wouldn't want to fuck any of them anyway!
1. Almanian 15 years ago
  
  ...it's like we had a mind meld going there or something...:)
2. Mac 15 years ago
  
  I beg to differ, dude.
  1. Ghost of George Carlin 15 years ago
    
    You'd have a much better chance of getting laid with at a peace rally than an anti-abortion rally.
    1. fresnodan 15 years ago
      
      I would think if you made it known that you have had a vasectomy that you would be able to get some action.
      1. Monty Python 15 years ago
        
        Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great...
      2. poopy 15 years ago
        
        Shootin blanks here!
        Come and get your blanks!
        Shootin blanks here!
  2. Episiarch 15 years ago
    
    Megan: Hey, you're really hardcore, aren't you?
    
    Mac: Oh, well, you know. I mean, if you really wanna see hardcore... (hands her a piece of paper)
    
    Megan: What's this?
    
    Mac: That's the list of doctors I'm gonna kill.
    
    Megan: There's two already crossed out.
    
    Mac: Yeah, I know.
Almanian 15 years ago

Well, they may be scam artists, but at least most of them are good looking.
Jeff P. 15 years ago

I'm starting a band called The Unfuckable Nuns.
1. SugarFree 15 years ago
  
  May I suggest "Kill" by Alberto y Lost Trios Paranoias as your first single?
  
  I don't give a damn I don't fucking care
  I'm gonna kill me mum then pull out me hair
  I'm fed up with the dole and the human race
  I'm gonna cut me liver out and shove it in your face!
Urkobold? 15 years ago

NUN SHALL PASS!
1. A_is_A 15 years ago
  
  NUN OF THAT! http://www.horrorsociety.com/w.....01x400.jpg
P Brooks 15 years ago

If Friedman turned out to be a begging fake nun that lived in a rape cult during off hours

That might explain his love of "can-do" authoritarian father figures.
halfdoghalfdeer 15 years ago

I find the headline "Lying nun begs on behalf of unholy rape clan" a bit over-broad.
Paul 15 years ago

Noconda did eight years in prison for raping the same woman his dad brutalized. He was released in 1984.

At some point, you'd think the woman would, you know, distance herself from these people...
1. Abdul 15 years ago
  
  Oh, sure, blame the victim.
  
  A woman has a right to walk down the street or sit in on a unholy rape clan without being violated.
  
  Unless, of course, she's dressed provocatively.
dead_elvis 15 years ago

"Two Phony Nuns and a Packmule" by Rapeclanman
PapayaSF 15 years ago

Gotta love the given names in the article: Devernon, Noconda, and Quomenters.
Brian Sorgatz 15 years ago

"a harem of a dozen phony nuns"

Among its other virtues, the phrase is a line of iambic pentameter. I'm surprised nobody else mentioned this in almost 50 comments.

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