Presidential Size Matters
Writing at The Washington Independent, Gene Healy makes the case for electing a fat president:
Is corpulence really a disqualification for the presidency in the land of supersized fries? If so, that's a shame.
America might do better with a fat president. After all, some of our best have been big fellows, and lately the trim and ambitious types haven't served us so well….
I once joked that my favorite president was a chunky, draft-dodging, scandal-plagued Democrat elected in '92 … (wait for it) … Grover Cleveland. (The Big-Mac-gobbling Bill Clinton was pretty flabby himself, and lately he looks ever better compared to his successors.)
Like a giant, implacable Buddha, the Great Cleveland set his bulk against Big Government, wielding the veto pen more than any president before. Even $10,000 to relieve Texas farmers during the 1887 drought was too profligate: "I can find no warrant for such an appropriation in the Constitution."…
America's best governor today is New Jersey's Chris Christie, who took office despite his opponent's juvenile "check out the fat guy" campaign ads. Since then, Christie's faced down Jersey teachers' unions and made major budget cuts -- showing the kind of gumption America could use in the fiscal crisis to come. Yet most discussions of Christie's political future end with the observation that he's just "too fat" to be president.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
I think if Christie were a liberal, no one would say he is too fat. The "too fat" charges are just liberal media looking for any excuse to disqualify someone who appears to be a potentially really strong Republican candidate.
Yeah, Bill Clinton wasn't exactly a skinny picture of health, and Al Gore has turned into a beached whale, and the media still can't gobble their knobs enough.
I think Al Gore is dreamy....
Why don't you curb your enthusiasm a bit? OK, lady?
We are the rich sweetie. Curbing our enthusiasm, or carbon foot print, is for the little people.
My apologies. Irony must not be a rich folk trait.
Not understanding that I got it, and used it is my response must be a regular Joe trait. You sir, are no Samuel A. Maverick
But I'm talkin' about Taft!
Shut yo' mouf!
They say this cat Taft is a bad mother. . . .
I smell a Taft themed YouTube parody...
Right on.
Who's the fat politic
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
TAFT!
Ya damn right!
I think Taft was the last president with facial hair, too.
Nope, the other fat man the bad one. TR.
Taft came after TR.
Does Nixon after 5:00 PM any day count?
Nope, TR was president before Taft.
Damn it, John beat me to it.
My bad, I knew that... I just got all caught up on the Cleveland thing since that article was about him. Stupid mistake.
It's my fault. I see "fat president" and I automatically think Taft.
Reminds me of my favorite bit of Supreme Court trivia.
Q: Who's the only person ever to occupy two seats on the Supreme Court?
A: Taft, one with each asscheek.
Also, the only president ever to get stuck in a bathtub.
New Jersey's Chris Christie
He claims he's a one-termer, that he's not afraid to take on entrenched political factions; he says all the right things... So why don't I believe him?
Just because your father, uncles, brothers, boyfriends and first five husbands beat you, doesn't mean then next guy will beat you. Come on. Have faith.
We don't deserve a nice guy like Seymour.
Come on. Have faith.
That's what Jesus said.
Nobody expected...The Spanish Inquisition!
Hasn't Christie actually been following through on some of his promises?
Also, I think he said he was going to govern like a one-termer, not that he was necessarily committing to only have one term.
Yup. We shall see...
I think the teacher's union and its mob connections will make sure Christie has an "accident" if he gets anywhere near a second term. Cheers will be heard from teacher's lounges across America's Armpit when the late governor is found dead, having fallen down an elevator shaft and eventually landing on 56 upright bullets.
Mmmm, I like'em plus-sized.
It is too bad we can't have a fat president, or one with a beard, or a Mohawk, or one that is just plain ugly.
How about a Chris Christie/Megan Fox ticket? Christie can make all of the policy decisions, and Fox can read the speeches and give interviews.
Megan Fox can read?
I don't know if she can read, but I would love to watch her try.
I have to read scripts! What? You thought I fucked Michael Bay to get the job? Ok, I would have but SugarFree and Epi beat me to it.
I just assumed that someone read the script aloud for you.
Yeah, but you fuck Brian Austin Green, so you tell me which is worse.
We are baby
Don't be shy! Tell 'em how fantastic my 24K gold-laminated sack looks next to my diamand-bedazzled taint. BOOM!
You used a Dane Cook word there, MB, 'taint'. I guess that is what makes you so cool.
She doesn't need to be able to read. As long as she can jiggle running away from explosions.
Hey! That takes talent, dammit!
I've got something she can read. And by read I mean suck, and by suck I mean...
Veep has to be 35, just like the Pres. But since this is utter fantasy, we'll allow it to play out.
I don't see any reason why Megan Fox can't be VP. After all, its not like candidates have to produce a birth certificate to prove they meet the Constitutional requirements.
I say we make Michael Bay president, and Megan Fox VP. There's no way Bay can do more damage as president than he does as filmmaker.
"So then I'll be all like, 'Launch the missles!', and they'll be all like, 'WHOOOOOSH!', and then I'll be all like, 'Duuuude!', and then the asteroid will be all like, 'BOOOOOOOOOM!'"
Warty, You told me you love to play 'Launch the missles' !!!
Mr. President, those aren't policies, those are special effects.
I don't understand the difference.
Michael Bay|6.22.10 @ 4:13PM|#
I don't understand the difference.
We know you don't.
Michael Bay president, and Megan Fox VP...
...and me as Attorney General. Hey, Janet Reno has nothing on me as a mover and a shaker.
That wins for punny humor.
I beg to differ
wielding the veto pen more than any president before
Wooooooo! Where can i get me some of THAT?!
(was also going to say, "and of any president since", but wikipedia learned me that FDR was one vetoing mofo.)
So, we haven't had a fat, or effective, commander-in-chief since we gave women the vote...
Yessss, it's the women's fault!
Coolidge.
Governor of NJ is basically a dukedom. Christie wouldn't be nearly as free to act in the White House. Not that I don't love the weekly YouTube of him destroying some teacher who are just shell-shocked that he isn't kowtowing, much less arguing back. I'd like to see him doing that to Congress-critters every week, but I don't expect it.
Even $10,000 to relieve Texas farmers during the 1887 drought was too profligate: "I can find no warrant for such an appropriation in the Constitution."...
Sigh. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I'd heard that quote from him a while back (on two non-consecutive occasions, actually) and felt the same way. Since then, I've considered him my favorite president.
Fat is not always good.... proof: Teddy Roosevelt.
But wasn't he athletic fat? He wasn't stuck in a bathtub fat.
One of my favorite stories is about the delegation that came to President Lincoln demanding that Gen. Grant be fired because he drank too much. Lincoln is supposed to have said "find out what he drinks and send a case of it to each of my other generals." I say find out what Christie eats and feed it to every other politician.
There's no weight requirement for president? Poor Huckabee took up jogging for nothing!
Anything but a reformed fatty. They are as bad as reformed drunks.
... or ex-smokers.
Or smokers
Bite me
Our beanpole president
I've never seen moobs on a beanpole. But I've never been to Thailand.
"They're muscles!"
No one is that relaxed. And no one only has two.
Bush was fuckin' ripped. Who ever noticed?
And who decided "skinny" isn't racist, now, again?
Well the skinny-ass Urkel currently occupying the White House pretty clearly is in over his head.
I love when the form fucks up and I make poems.
most discussions of Christie's political future end with the observation that he's just "too fat" to be president
On the contrary. He's "too big" to fail!
+1
I wonder what would happen if Gen. McChrystal tried to back-talk Christie...
"You taste like chicken." nom nom nom
He wouldn't have had any reason to.
Biding my time...
Senator from Illinois...
First woman president...?
Ain't nobody got the junk in my trunk!
Aren't most of the credible challengers to Obama obese men?
That's not a nice thing to say about Hillary.
Cleveland's second term was just about identical with Hoover's single term. It was so bad that in 1896 the Democrats nominated a candidate (Bryan) who was directly opposed to Cleveland's financial programs.
In fact Cleveland had Coxey's Army, and Hoover had the Bonus Army.
A fat country needs a fat president.
We are so close to getting rid of the blue laws in Bergen County, NJ thanks to Christie, but the anit-business block is fighting tooth and nail to keep them.
I'd like to announce my bid for the presidency
Weird, this copy of Catcher in the Rye just told me to buy a rifle.
Shoot Yoko
Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions
does the story of him is ture LJJLJLUIDS