Free Speech

Australian State Bans Swearing


Photograph courtesy Alice Chaos. CC-BY-NC-SA

Lawmakers in the Australian state of Queensland are proving just how upside down that country really is. Recently introduced legislation would allow police officers to issue on-the-spot fines of $100 AUD ($86.50) for swearing in public:

Premier Anna Bligh announced the new powers for police to issue on-the-spot notices for public nuisance offences on Tuesday.

Ms Bligh said the move would increase efficiency, save time and fast-track more important matters in the courts by stopping minor public nuisance offenders from clogging the justice system.

She said the measures, targeting offences such as public urination, disorderly conduct and abusive language, would save the Government between $18 million and $30 million.

The power to issue on-the-spot fines of between $100 and $300 could result in public nuisance prosecutions soaring 20 per cent, based on figures from a 12-month trial in South Brisbane and Townsville.

In 2008-2009 terms, that could see 5500 more people slapped with the offence across Queensland each year.

Ms Bligh said it was hard to estimate if the 20 per cent increase would hold true right across the state.

With the ability to arbitrarily violate a fundamental human right, increase revenues, and bypass the court system, this is sure to be a real win for police. I'd just hate to be the fucking guy who starts spouting off at a cop before he's had his coffee and donuts. At least some people in Australia see the folly of this type of legislation:

F—. BANG 100 bucks.

S*!# POW Another Hundgee..

Ok, it may have to be a bit more offensive than that. But are we really going to give every policeman in the force the power to take our money if they deem our language a tad naughty?

There will be regulations on what's naughty and what's not but until now we were put in front of a judge—an esteemed, educated enforcer of the rule of law—to decide whether we were being a nuisance or not.

By 2011 it will be Joe Blow everyday Mr Policeman who will be judge, jury and executioner.

Capn' Bligh told our reporter the new laws would increase efficiency, save time and fast-track more important matters in the courts.

A former court reporter for the Courier-Mail agreed, telling me in the newsroom yesterday people will prefer to pay a fine from home instead of fronting up to court for an embarrassing and relatively minor offence.

I don't know.

If I was drunk and disorderly, I reckon an on-the-spot fine would be unlikely to make me pull my head in there and then.

Pros and cons aside, you have to question a law which gives cops the ability to give on-the-spot fines for non-defamatory words uttered in public.

What ever happened to freedom of speech?

Good question, mate.

NEXT: You Can Go Home, But You Pretty Much Have to Stay Here

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  1. Once again proving that Demolition Man is the most prophetic movie of our age.

    1. I’ll buy that when I hear commercial jingles as popular radio tunes, but then it will be too late. However, the phonebooth psychiatrist is not far away.

      1. I’ve noticed a few more Taco Bells than there was before. Call it an omen.

        1. The omen is a different movie.

      2. I fucking LOVE Armour Hotdogs!

        1. Nipplemancer, you are fined 1 credit in violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

          Wait, If I said “Nipple”…does that mean I have to fine myself…(processes to infinity)

          (short circuits)

        2. Glad you didn’t say that you loved fucking Armour hotdogs. That would be wierd.

      3. What is popular music at this point other than commercial jingles?

        Name me a classic commercial jingle more vapid and hollow than this.

        1. Wesley Snipes is a criminal…there are more Taco Bells…fines for swearing…and Sandra Bullock gets stunned by a big muscle-bound dude that she trusts. It’s uncanny.

          1. FTW. I am now convinced. The only thing missing here is Denis Leary quit smoking and is some sort of health nut.

            Perhaps Dahmer will be risen from the dead via cloning and then freeze dried. I’m sure there is viable DNA on record for that guy somewhere. In fact, I wonder if he willed his body to science. I could see a sicko narcissist like him do that.

            1. Jeffrey Dahmer? I love that guy!

        2. I made it through 20 seconds. Here, have some earbleach.

          1. I seriously believe that is the worst song and video of the 2000s. Which is really something when you think about how many videos Lil’ Wayne has been in.

            1. blkbeauty8403
              1 day ago 4
              @marv993 Totally agree w/ u!! Do NOT understand why they have tried to tear him to pieces. MUSIC and PERSONAL LIFE? arent equivalent. Dont buy is life we buy his music!!!

              I hope the asteroid hits soon.

            2. I thing this is wrong. I am agree with you.

    2. Does this mean we have to learn how to use the three sea shells?

      1. No, you can still get automatic tickets for cursing.

        1. Another conundrum.

          Let’s say I need to take a wicked Dan T., and share this choice information aloud.

          If we substitute for our curse words, in such dystopian place, names such as, oh, Chad, MNG, and other trollish names, do those names now becomes curse words themselves? By necessity, eliciting those names would be cursing. Is slang such as “dang”, “fudge”, and “shoot” next? Will there be a context consideration here?

          1. If people stop getting caught for cursing they will add new words to raise revenue.

            1. Words like “stop, thief!” and “rape”.

              Those jerks were just tying up the justice system with their crimes anyway.

          2. I seemm to recall that there was a book written many years ago (20-30+?) that substituted swear words with the names of Supreme Cout Justices. Imma gonna go look…

            1. Schr?dinger’s Cat Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson:

              The Schr?dinger’s Cat trilogy is a fictional story, with much interpersonal dialogue between characters. This dialogue frequently makes use of slang words invented by the author, as a substitute for words that were, in the 1970s, typically taboo to speak about in modern western culture. In case a censorship case was brought against the book, Wilson made use of the names of Supreme Court Justices as “stand ins” for certain words. Examples include “Potter Stewarting”, an expression used as a substitute for a common word that refers to the act of copulation, and “Burgering”, referring to the act of voiding one’s bowels (referring to Chief Justice of the United States from 1969-1986, Warren E. Burger), etc. This technique had previously been used by Gore Vidal in his 1974 sequel to Myra Breckenridge, Myron (novel), in which, for example, Supreme Court Justice Rehnquist’s last name was a euphemism for the male sexual organ.


              1. Took six minutes. Gotta love Google.

                1. It took me less time, just looked on my bookshelf. Actually, since I knew which book it was, didnt have to look.

            2. Pretty P&T did an episode on this in their first season, in which they explained the name of their show “Bullshit”.

              Long story short, it’s not the magic word or syllables, it’s the concept behind them that should (or should not) offend one’s sensibilities.

          3. “Shoot doesn’t fool me. That’s just shit with two O’s.

            – George Carlin

      2. Read my rant aloud and conspicuously and you should have all the toilet paper you need, Astrid Spartan.

    3. Hah, was just gonna say something about Demolition Man. There was a post on here maybe a week or so ago that mentioned its Taco Bell-only arrangement, which led me to throwing the bad boy up on my Netflix queue.

      Decent movie, although sometimes I couldn’t tell if it was being satirical or straight-up campy. If it was satire, it could have used a bit more subtlety.

    4. Yes.

  2. Premier Anna Bligh

    Bligh? Really?

    1. The apple apparently doesn’t fall far from the tree.

      1. Yeah, I can’t imagine how anybody with the name Bligh can get elected in Australia.

        If she doesn’t watch out, she’ll have another Rum Rebellion on her hands.

        1. The original Bligh was actually successfully prosecuted for using profanity, as part of a conviction for “tyranny” to a junior officer on a later ship he commanded. The words were like “damned rascal or damned villain” or such.

    2. if you were familiar with the intertubez, in mere seconds you could’ve found out that Premier Bligh is a direct descendant of Captain William Bligh (of HMS Bounty, and later Governor of New South Wales).…..queensland

      1. Where’s the New South Wales Corps when you need it.

        Actually from what I’ve heard a lot of QLD governments could have given the Rum Corps a run for their money on the corruption front.

        I see she’s Labor too. Labour in Britain seened to be on a social conservatism kick for a while too.

        Actually, in fairness, I think there are laws against swearing just about everywhere. It’s the summary nature of this law that makes it egregious.

  3. G*dd*mn F**king A**h*les d**k h*les %^&&!*!!!
    They can have my swear words when they pry them out of my cold dead mouth.


    1. I would probably have an infarction.
      Fortunately, with the advancement in internet porn filters, I am spared seeing small tits (for health reasons)


    2. More than a handful is just a waste.

      1. Shut the fuck up.

      2. It’s porn, all you can get is an eyeful.

  5. Seriously, they will have to publish the bad words. For instance, is “bugger” a dirty word in Australia?
    Seriously, I don’t know. How about “bloody” – they act like your not suppose to say that in movies from England. And pouffer?

    1. I’d like to help them compile a list of the forbidden words. I submit my work on this blog as my resume.

      1. May I use you as reference, Master Jedi?

        1. Yes. Just write yourself a letter of recommendation and forge my signature.

          1. “X” for “illiterate”.

    2. Bugger means something different for an Aussie than it does for a Limey.

      1. I don’t think so. In both places, plus Canada, a bugger is someone who practises buggery.

        If you had said “Bugger means something different for an Aussie than it does for an American”, then you would have been correct.

        1. When I was there (only once) my peers used the word (bugger) on a constant basis (I’d hear it a dozen times in a one hour meeting). I asked if it meant the same in Australian as it did in “English”. The answer was “not really” and “we do need to be careful when our English co-workers are visiting”.

          So, it maybe means the same thing, but it doesn’t seem to carry the same baggage.

          1. As I have said elsewhere in this thread, standards have changed.

            If you check the links I provided you will see that in Oz the word has lost a lot of its former taboo status.

    3. My little, batshit insane Canadian grandmother thinks “bloody” is a very bad swear indeed. She reserves it for politicians, people who badmouth the Pope, and her wayward descendants.

      1. How adorable. She sounds very genteel and quaint.

        1. El guano loco, Groovster. Only a steady diet of coffee and with generous doses of Bailey’s keeps her in line.

          1. I assume that is for her sniffles, Dagster? It’s certainly cheaper than Clozapine, Abilify, and Seroquel.

            Perhaps I should have said “eccentric”?

        2. See my story below about the American girl who used the word “bugger” in front of her prospective Canadian husband’s parents.

    4. Disclaimer: I have not lived in Australia for nearly fifty years. But some words were considered extrememly offesive and the Australians of my childhood were among the most publiclicly puritanical people on earth. I understand that some things have changed.

      Yes, “buggar” (old style spelling) is a swear word in OZ and in Canada. It means someone who commits buggary or sodomy (which was also a criminal offense at the time). An lesser variant is sod[omist]. I once new a couple who entertained people with the story of how the marriage had almost no happened when the future wife, a girl from Idaho, used the word “bugger” the first time the future husband brought her to meet his parents in their Vancouver (BC) home.

      Bloody is a swearword in Britain and the Commonwealth because it is a contraction of “by my lady” and hence using the virgin Mary’s name in vain. My mother was a scarlet women in the neighborhood for a while after we moved there from the States when she told one of the local women that one of the boys had gotten a “bloody nose”.

      Poofter (not pouffer) is not so much a swearword as it is a scurrilous insult and something that no polite person would bring up in polite company. “Rool numbuh one, No Poofters!” Australians always obey the rules.

      And for heaven’s sake, if you are going to a sporting event in Australia, never, I repeat, never ask anyone who they are “rooting” for. The odd looks you get will be people wondering how you think an act of copulation will help the home team’s prospects.

      1. Interesting that “bloody hell” is a common phrase in Harry Potter, a children’s series.

        1. As I said, the rules have relaxed since I was a child.

          “Bloody” was the second worst swearword in the Australian dialect. The worst was “fucking”, but that’s probably no surprise.

          1. Yet that word is okay in Austrian.

        2. They say “shitcock” on iCarly constantly.

          1. As I have said, standards have changed.

  6. We’re really sorry how this has all turned out, mate. Honestly, we never thought it would ever get this bad.

  7. If the offenses aren’t “important” enough to warrent adjudication in a court then, argueably, they aren’t important enough to enforce.

    1. Ah, but if you can increase your success rate on getting fines and save money on court costs, then you can get more money from the productive class, which is a very important goal indeed.

  8. dictatorship/democracy it doesn’t matter. they all lead to the same place – Fuckedupistan. Is it time to cleanse the world with nuclear fire?

    1. Stone Burners. The time for the sandtrout/sandworm cycle has past. A shame too; The Outback would have been an ideal place for reintroduction, and not the awful restaurant chain, either.

      1. Introducing the sandworm at the chain would do wonders. At getting rid of the chain.

        1. I like how you think, robc! Perhaps Pro’L Dib will weigh in with an opinion.

          1. Well, it just so happens that OSI is based here, so I may have some influence. Give me a moment. . . .

            Okay, they’re all for it. They’re going to rebrand the Outback chain! Now called “Arrakis Wormhouse”, the new chain will be a Dune-themed restaurant, specializing in food from, or evoking the spirit of, Dune.

            The menu will include appetizers like Blooming Sandtrout (deep-fried sandtrout), beverages like Dune Water (water distilled from human exhalation and waste), Sandworm Steaks (served with real crysknives!), and, for the adventurous customer, the Agony (Boiled Sandworm), all served by their Bene Gesserit waitstaff, who exist only to serve.

            1. “I’ll start with the ‘Bit of Bird Meat and Spice Wrapped in a Leaf’ appetizer and then the ‘Wild Hare Tongues in Mushroom Sauce.’ And the pungi rice pudding for desert.”

              “And to drink, sir?”

              “A liter flagon of slopped water squeezed from towels at the front door.”

              “Very good choices, sir.”

              1. Ah, you’re reading from the special Atreides menu they offer on Father’s Day.

                Don’t forget the special Semuta Shake!

                1. “The slow blade penetrates the Maker-steak!”

                  1. “What tempature would you like that cooked, sir? Abomination (blood rare), or Stone Burnt (charred). Be aware sir, Stone Burnt is so good it will take your sight away.”

                2. And the bartender special drink of the house, Sappho-pore Sling.

                  Are poison snoopers complimentary or available on request?

                  1. We would screen everything for Chaumurky and Chaumas, of course. Do you think were some sort of cheap operation?

                    1. I dunno, C.H.O.A.M. cut is pretty steep. But not as steep as the cut it will take to slice a God Emperor 64 oz Portersietch Wormsteak.

                      Remember to tell your waitresses it is your birthday for you complimentary all staff Sietch Orgy led by St Alia of the Grill.

            2. How about a sausage in a bun?

              1. Dude, you’re not doing it right.

                New dessert item from the Arrakis Wormhouse: The Face Dancer. Our staff takes your picture and custom-makes a Jello? mold in your image! Laughter will ensue as we serve you up to the family for dessert!

                1. Sir, may I interest you in our house beer? It’s a mind-killer!

                  1. “Welcome Arrakis Wormhouse! I’m sorry it will be few minutes before you may be seated. Please read the specials and be sure to read the Litany Against Hunger, which features our appeteaser menu!”

                2. “Thufir Hawat Eyebrow Nibbler.”

                  “Duncan Idaho Twice-Baked Potato with Ghoula sauce.”

                  “The Baron Harkonnen Boy Slave Rape Sampler.”

                  1. Bring me two young boys, a pumpkin, and the schnauzer–after this, I shall wish to be depraved.

                    1. Ah, Doon. One of the great parodies.

                    2. Hey, do you have a kids menu? Oh, good. Yes, we’d like some Shadout Grapes, an order of Mentats (mint-infused french fries), and a literjon of Ghola-Aid.

                    3. Best. Dune. Thread. Ever.

                    4. It’s a damned good one, though the thread that mashed up Sanford & Son and Dune was pretty good. I can’t find that one, though I can find the Litany Against Ugly that was inspired by it.

                    5. It’s funny, but in the old days, the default humor mine was always Planet of the Apes. Strange.

                    6. Stone-burned grouper?

                    7. Side dishes within side dishes within side dishes.

                    8. Awesome.

  9. Does anyone else remember when the Australian tourism board slogan was “Come and say goddamn?”

    I clearly recall an ad that ended with Paul Hogan saying “We’ll shit an extra bitch on the fucky for you.”

    Australia used to be cool.

    1. Isn’t the Australian language mostly swear words? Crikey! This will surely stifle their freedom of drunken expression.

    2. Actually, saying godamn in Australia will identify you as a Seppo, which to some is much worse offense than swearing.

  10. “Shut the front door!”

  11. “Do Australians feel love? Are they capable of love? Do they even know what we’re speaking of?”

    1. Bret: Did she sound Australian? Australian accent?

      Jemaine: Yes, yes.

      Bret: What did it sound like?

      Jemaine: Kind of like an evil version of our accent.

      1. Perfect. I’m doing a deal with some Australians–I’ll have to say that to them at some point.

        1. You have a New Zealand accent? Because that quote really only works for kiwis.

          “You couldn’t get more Australian than me. My great-great-grandpa was a renowned rapist, and they shipped him out to Australia and that’s where he met my great-great-grandma; she was a prostitute. You know, I said ‘met’, but he raped her.”

          1. I’m an American. I can steal from other countries all I want. New Zealand doesn’t even have nukes.

            1. We’re “nuclear free” unfortunately. That’s what you get for having a pack of labour party pooftas in power.

              They shoulda put down the poof-juice, grabbed themselves a beer, and stuck a cruise missile in their backyard.

              1. I understand, but wee little nations have nukes these days. It’s the cool thing to do.

                Unless you secretly have giant, space-based lasers.

          2. Bret: Did she mock your accent?

            Jemaine: She may have slightly mocked my accent.

          3. I hate to say it, but I’m hard pressed to tell the difference between a Kiwi and an Ocker now. I’m not sure that I ever could.

            1. the old shibboleth is “fish and chips”: Aussies say “feesh and cheeps”, Kiwis say “fush and chups”.

              1. I’ll listen for that.

                I remember an Irish guy in my rugby club trying to do a mock Kiwi accent with “Sivven-Elivven”. But that’s the way I hear Aussies say it too.

                Besides that I thought the bog Irish bastard had a hell off a fucking nerve making fun of the way someone else speaks English.

                1. Isaac – I said this one before, but it bears repeating: hand them a cricket bat. If they grab the handle, they’re Australian.

                  1. BP, shoot me an email sometime. I’ll buy you a beer at the Bull and Bush. 🙂

                    I used to like to go there and give the pommie bastards hell.

      2. It’s totally different. Their accent’s like, “where’s the cah?” Our accent’s like…”where’s the cahr?”

        1. Not to mention wonderful expressions like “stone the flymin’ crows”, “fair dinkum” and “beyond the black stump” (about as far away as it gets).

    2. The Reason gear girl looks Australian. Maybe Squirrel can add some profane alt-text to her ad?

      1. I wondered if I was the only one who thought she looked Australian.

  12. Bugger that mate! Bunch a’bloody wowsers takin’ over me country mate!

    1. db, are you an Aussie? I have somehow fallen in with Seattle’s Aussie Rules footy team, and they’re a rowdy bunch.

      1. Thankfully no, I’m a kiwi not a dingo/bread-stealer/shackle-dragger/skippy/etc.

        1. Jemaine: It doesn’t matter what country someone’s from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesn’t matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently…some would say, more correctly.

          Sinjay: Yeah…

          Jemaine: Let me finish. I’m a person. Bret’s a person. You’re a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.

          Sinjay: That’s a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys.

          Jemaine: No, you’re thinking of Australians.

          Bret: Yeah, that’s Australians.

          1. Actually, I had been gone from Australia for thirty years before I found out that Austalians and New Zealanders truly hate eachother.

            For that matter most expat pommies I meet here are relieved to find out that I’m actually and American and not an Australian.

            But then French Canadians thought I was fine after they found out I was American and not an English Canadian.

            1. I find that bit about the French Canadians weird, too. Apparently, a good number of them thought that if they had seceded the last time the issue came to a head, joining the U.S. would be the logical next step. I have to admit, that’s one of those things that makes me realize that I don’t understand Canadians as well as a Floridian should.

            2. New Zealand is just Australia’s version of Canada.

      2. I’m going to drive to Seattle and steal you. I hope you like basements.

      3. I can imagine. Good times all round.

        BTW, I’m pretty much the honorary president of the FUBAR appreciation society round these parts.

  13. How ’bout fanny? Fanny is dirty, right? Or mung? Technically disgusting but not really a swear word. Crud? Crap? How bad is too bad?

    1. In addition to not “rooting” for your favorite team (see above), never tell anyone that someone has a nice “fanny” (especially not the possessor of said attribute – you’ll likely get your face slapped).

      It definitely does not describe the same piece of anatomy in OZ as it does in North America.

      1. “He, he touched my front bottom!”

    2. “How ’bout fanny? Fanny is dirty, right?”

      Yes. I used to date a girl from Edinborough who said it meant a girl’s hooha.

      1. yes . . The english were most amused by all the Americans wearing their “fanny” packs when they were all the rage.

        1. Oddly, in America wearing a “fanny” pack also means you are a pussy.

          1. The good old days of track suits and fanny packs.

      2. That’s it.

        My daughter was in Edinburgh last year and was a little taken aback when one of the locals took her aside and pointed out that it was really embarassing when Canadians referred to their “pants”. The word “pants” in Scotland apparently is strictly used for undergarments only.

        1. They also think biscuits and jelly are a gross combination, so what do they know?

          1. Groaty dick.

  14. What type of sharmoota is puritanical enough to outlaw swearing.

    1. I’m sure Yahya Wehelie could think of a place right now.

  15. A new contempt of cop statute. Your word against the cop as to what you said. However, I suspect you can be arrested for refusing to pay, an arrest the cop may not have otherwise been able to make because the confrontation is in view of the public.

  16. Queensland’s finances are fucked. The state government spent massive amounts of money on infrastructure no-one needed hoping to make it all back through mining royalties, but then the Global Financial Crisis happened. This business about fining swearing is purely desperate revenue raising.

    For reference, Queensland is a lot like Florida. There’s a lot of old people, drug trading, and stupidity. Nice beaches though.

    1. Do they still have the stupid arrangement where Queensland, Tasmania and Western Australia (I think) all get larger shares of Federal revenue at the expense of New South Wales and Victoria because they’re “undeveloped” states?

      I rememember hearing a little bit of rumbling about that when I visited in ’94. Especially considering the kind of ostentatious wealth on display in places like Surfers Paradise.

    2. There’s a lot of old people, drug trading, and stupidity. Nice beaches though.

      Wow. That is like Florida. Does the northern tip have a bunch of Indonesian refugees who run a hopelessly corrupt city? Because that would make the parallel almost perfect.

      1. If I remember rightly, Queensland had a Danish immigrant (or son of Danish immigrants) who ran a hopelessly corrupt state. 🙂

  17. If Joe Biden repeated what he said a few months back on live American television, would he get fined for it in Australia?


    Let us not forget the greatest australianism.

    Softcock – noun, a coward, not tough, a wimp, a wuss, a pussy.

    usage: What are ya, a bloody softcock?

  19. Jesse Kline: The headline for your article reads “Australian State Bans Swearing”. This is not accurate since the legislation has been introduced, but not yet passed.

    From the article: The legislation will be introduced to Parliament later this year, with the new powers to take effect by 2011.

    “Australian State Considers Swear Ban” would be more accurate.

    1. I’m pretty sure that in the parliamentary system it’s a safe bet that introduced legislation will become law depending on how big a majority the ruling party has. Of course, there’s always a chance some government backbenchers will rebel since it’s likely that this will probably be a conscience rather than a party line vote.

      But then losing votes is embarassing for premiers even if the government won’t fall over it. It smacks of weak leadership, and there’s alway some other ambitious pol after your job.

    2. Lemme help, Tonio.

      Dumbshit Australian State Considers Swear Ban” would be more accurate.

    3. Even if it passes, it doesn’t ban swearing. It just fines you for doing it.

  20. Can Steve Smith be fined for saying “rape”? Does it depend on the context? Really with Steve there’s only one context I guess, and the hikers all know what that context is



  21. To protest this inane law there should be “swear in”, force the cops and courts to enforce it enmasse.

    1. +1

      Civil disobedience + swearing?
      Love it.

  22. So much for the proposal for libertarians to move to Australia to escape the federal government’s Cthuluic collapse.

    1. There are other states besides Queensland. IIANM Western Australia, especially Perth, is the place that Americans would find most congenial.

  23. I don’t know how to react to all this. I know I am hurt when someone uses unseemly language. I also know that this blog has many posters with a predelection for profanity. It is always a sign of indignity and laziness in an adult to use crass statement. Not much any one can do. Fuck em’.

    1. I find that I use vulgarity here more than I used to. I don’t use too much in my personal life.

      I blame Episiarch, of course.

  24. The vapors people have over “dirty” language are the last vestiges of Victorianism that needs to be beaten out of Western culture.

    It’s not an indicator of class, education, upbringing or any other elitist claptrap. I use all the words in my vocabulary to make a point. Objecting to how I say something is the most hollow way to argue against me.

    1. I object to the fact that you didn’t say all of that in German.

      1. Haters gotta hate.

        “He looks like Malcolm X before he converted to Islam.”

  25. Come on Dover! Move yer blooming arse!

  26. The Recession has been very, very, good to Nancy Pelosi:

    Pelosi’s net-worth nearly doubled to $21.7 million last year

    Congressional leaders in both parties reported dramatic increases in their net worth last year on the back of a rising stock market.

    House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) reported the biggest gain for 2009. The Speaker’s worth jumped by $9 million to roughly $21.7 million last year, according to financial disclosure statements released by the House clerk and the Senate secretary on Wednesday.…..-net-worth

    1. All that money and she still looks like a deranged great-aunt that keeps dead cats in her freezer.

      1. No, she looks like the eccentric old lady that keep cadavers in the freezer, aided by her horribly deformed staff. She’s the lead in the crazy old lady remake of Elizabeth Bathory’s life.

      2. How you think she makes all that money? Two Words: Frozen Cats

        1. Step 1: Freeze Cats
          Step 2: ????
          Step 3: Profit!

  27. You know, Australia is a tremendous disappointment to me. I had this idea that Aussies were a bunch of independent minded, rugged individualist types and over the years it has become more than obvious that this was a complete misconception. Maybe I got it from Crocodile Dundee fantasies of the outback.

    1. Right. Like us, but drunker, more violent. The disappointment is almost a physical blow.

      I have the same complaint about the Scots, who banned fucking swords! I mean, come on! At least they still fry everything before they eat it. Or boil it until everything is gray, gray, and gray.

  28. I was about to say it’s a good thing that law wasn’t in effect during that beatdown Germany laid on them the other day, but then, I wondered: Do Australians care about soccer any more than we do? Maybe they didn’t even notice.

    1. I think they do, but, then again, they have the friggin’ awesome Australian Rules Football.

      1. When I lived there Soccer was a sport for kids who couldn’t handle Aussie Rules or Rugger.

  29. “Whatever happened to freedom of speech”?

    For the millionth time, Australia has no inherent protection of freedom of speech. Stop confusing American laws with Aussie laws. We don’t have freedom of speech, we don’t get told “You have the right to remain silent”, and we have a PM, not a President.


    1. Yes, but you have the tradition of free speech.

    2. we don’t get told “You have the right to remain silent”,

      I believe the police are still required to tell you, “anything you say can be taken down and used against you in evidence” though.

    3. but what you don’t have is any BALLS…

  30. I wonder if they will fine for use of the word “frak”? As in, “Queensland cops are frakking Nazis!”

    Also, I wonder what will happen if you demand that an officer tell you which words are forbidden–how else will you know which ones to avoid?

    I suppose there’s a certain George Carlin routine that will no longer be permitted to be played in public….

    1. and can you make a citizens arrest when they are verbalized by the cop?

  31. A fucking swear jar??? Jesus, Australia, grow a pair.

  32. Yeah, I posted that link in a thread yesterday.

  33. FUCK you BITCHLand. 🙂

  34. This sounds a bit fucking stupid. Labour is going to get assraped next election. No one likes rudd, stephen conroy is so close to getting killed by a riot, and I don’t know anyone happy with bligh.

    Australia: no porn, no swearing, and the tax is so high on booze and ciggerettes you can’t afford them.

  35. How much would a whole year cost? Might want to pay ahead.

  36. As an Australian Citizen I just want to say fuck you, Anna Bligh.

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