I Blame The Rock Music, With Its Occultic Masturbatory Allusions to Sex and Magazine Reading…


The Gores throw in the towel after 40 years of marriage and one of the worst stage kisses of all time:

Al and Tipper Gore, whose playful romance enlivened Washington and the campaign trail for a quarter century, have decided to separate after 40 years of marriage, the couple told friends Tuesday.

In an "Email from Al and Tipper Gore," the couple said: "We are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate.

"This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further."

The e-mail was obtained by POLITICO and confirmed by Kalee Kreider of the office of Al and Tipper Gore. Kreider said there would be no further comment.

More here.

Al and Tipper and the Parents Music Resouce Center nostalgia here.

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  1. Hey Al, Tipper thinks you’re a douchebag too!

    1. Let’s just say it’s due to “an inconvenient truth” and leave it at that.

      1. Yes I invented the Internet.

        And no, I didn’t do it to secure easy access to free Viagra and Cialis.

      2. Yes I invented the Internet. But I didn’t do it to secure easy, confidential access to free boner pills.

        1. I’m sure all the Inconvenient Truth jokes it has spawned are a real pisser to, huh Al.

    2. “Off with his head!”

      “We can’t DO that, Tippy!”

  2. Caption Contest!

    “Hey! I’m eating here!”

    1. “Clearly, the DEET was ineffective.”

      1. That’s Al and Tipper Gore? I thought it was a deleted scene from Lifeforce.


    Al and Tipper Gore, whose playful romance enlivened Washington and the campaign trail for a quarter century


    I hope Tipper takes half of Al’s solar cells.

    1. But will she get the Carbon Credits?

      1. She gets man and half of bear.

        1. So he’s real winner, walking away with the bacon part, huh?

    2. I believe the pre-nup only entitles her to a monthly stipend of 20 Energon cubes.

    3. Who gets the 100-foot, custom-built, supposedly “green” houseboat?

  4. “When did you have your tonsils removed?”

  5. WooHoo
    Al’s back on the market boys!

  6. Did they have to put the blow up valve in her mouth?

  7. one of the worst stage kisses of all time

    What? The Gore face-butt is one of the worst events of all time. We need to see your list.
    (Caption: The Gores reenact the kiss from Like Normal People, which, like Love Story, The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings, and The Koran, was based on their playful romance.)

    1. The scary thing is that Gore’s approval ratings went way up after the kiss. Women were swooning that, while they once thought Gore was too stiff, now they knew he was a passionate stud. It’s amazing what people base their votes on.

      1. When assessing the masses you have to take into account that Oprah has a following.

  8. Who’ll have her now?

    There’s a reality show in this somewhere.

    1. I would fuck her

      1. I wouldn’t fuck Tipper Gore with Tipper Gore’s dick…

        1. Ok baby, you play catch.

  9. Privacy? What about the privacy of all the people they tried to manipulate through their incessant do-goodery over the years? Fuck them with a wind turbine, accompanied by whatever metal selection Warty feels is appropriate.

      1. It was great, until the cookie monster lyrics started. Seriously, enough with the fucking cookie monster already.

        1. Can’t watch the vid, but I’m gonna guess Deicide, Napalm Death, or Cannibal Corpse. Or Sepultura.

          1. Napalm Death. Incidentally, I once saw Napalm Death. It was horrid.

            1. You’re a braver soul than I. I cherish my dollars too much to try one of their shows.

  10. Kreider said there would be no further comment.

    “Delusional” doesn’t even begin to describe that statement.

  11. I really hope older rappers and record execs teach the younger ones about what it was like back when the crazy white woman labeled all their albums because of bad words.

    1. I hope they also send Tipper a thank you card. White kids listened to heavy metal in the mid 80s. Very few listened to rap. Thanks to tipper, rap replaced heavy metal as the best way to shock your parents. Without tipper Rap might have never gone mainstream.

      1. I still remember fondly the day my step-mom threw my Too $hort tape at me… that lady had an arm on her.

      2. another reason to hate Tipper

  12. A marriage floudering after 40 years really isn’t all that funny.

    I expect that will not stop people from tying.

    1. What? Anything involving an Al Gore failure is funny, dude.

    2. I really wonder – why now? I mean, they had 40 years together, didn’t they figure out what kind of people they were a while ago?

      1. Maybe she suddenly decided she didn’t like it in the butt, and that was unacceptable to him.

        1. Maybe he gave up waiting for her sexual peak to arrive, and decided he wanted to go out there and get some pussy while his dick still worked.

          1. The sad thing is, he’ll have no trouble. And he’ll get the young stuff, too.

            My only comfort is that none of it matters since he’s going to die anyway, just like me.

            1. The geezers at Daily Kos will offer their virgin daughters to him. He is still their “president” after all.

            2. Yeah, but the young stuff he’ll get is…environmentalist snatch.

          2. I was thinking the same thing myself, but thought it too insensitive to post. Now I’m sorry I didn’t.

    3. Boring! Fuddy Duddy!

  13. “A” marriage? Maybe not. THIS marriage? Oh, yes.


  15. Can the rest of us divorce Al, too?

  16. First thing that comes to mind? How do you stay married to the PMRC lade for 40 years?! All the harping and harping…

    And then you start to think… Could it be? I’m not saying it is, but please God! If anyone else is gonna go the way of Michael Huffington, let it be Al Gore!

    1. I mean…

      Ever notice how he always seemed kinda fake?

      1. Baby, I’m G.L.A.D. you noticed 😉

  17. Just like ordinary hu-mons.

  18. The bitch just would never turn off the lights.

    1. Hahaha, my first response was almost identical… “What happened, she left the car running for too long in the driveway or something?”

  19. See what happens when you allow gay marriage? Next thing you know, Al will be marching down the aisle with a goat, a dog, and a sea cow.

  20. “… and a sea cow”

    Hey, what does Hillary have to do with this?

  21. after all that bullshit about the planet having a fever, you’re separating and maintaining two households and carbon footprints? aw hell no Al. you can divorce but not separate. for Gaia.

  22. Living with Al Gore has got to be exhausting. Having that guy digging through every garbage can in the house, looking for improperly disposed recyclables…

    Plus that charming lilt he talks with. I’m pressed she hung in for 40 years.

  23. They aren’t getting a divorce, he’s just going to recycle her for a more energy efficient model.

    1. Winnah.

  24. Maybe its me but this just says meh in my world.

  25. From Fark: “Al Gore concedes erection.”

  26. So, when Tipper said “I can no longer live a lie”, was she talking about her marriage, or climate change?

  27. Maybe Tipper stopped logging the wetlands, if you know what I mean.

    1. Or maybe she didn’t want to wear a gorilla mask any more. If you know what I mean.

      1. Maybe the Ralph Nader impression longer made her safe at any speed, if you know what I mean.

        1. I’m not even going to try to compete with you on this.

          Maybe he’s not “The Oak” anymore, if you know what I mean.

          1. I’m really just upset at how hollow this makes Love Story seem.

            1. How is Tommy Lee Jones taking this?

              1. Looking on imdb, I was surprised to find that Ali McGraw is still alive. I thought she died years ago.

                1. She’s that good of an actress.

              2. In the butt, bob.

  28. You heard it here first: Al and Hillary have been an item since the 90s.

    1. Tipper and Hillary. A WH LUGS deal.

    2. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  29. Tipper was a liability. She was an avid Flash user and Adobe supporter. I told Al that if he wanted to remain on the board of the now most valuable company in America, he had to lose Tipper.

    Besides, Al could no longer afford to pay the carbon offsets every time she ate.

    1. Al could no longer afford to pay the carbon offsets every time she ate queefed.

      Because the way you wrote it is just gross.

      1. I’m going to apply for a federal grant to study the impact of queef gas on global climate change.

        1. The line forms to the left, pal.

          1. Do you already have 20 cubic meters of queef gas collected under rigorous scientific guidelines? Hmm? I didn’t think so.

            1. What you are describing sound to me like a barrier to entry. Sort of a chastity belt to the greenhouse, if you will.

              Also, I hope you got that from more than one sample. Otherwise…dude!

              1. Nothing queefs like beef…

              2. I have a vial of queef gas from every vagina I’ve had the pleasure to know.

                1. I suddenly realized that any cunning gynecologist could corner the market in queef gas. Maybe we should buy futures.

  30. Tipper Gore has an obsession with sexual explicit music lyrics.
    Al Gore is a guy who doesn’t look like he gets laid much.

    I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

  31. Who cares?

  32. It’s wonder they didn’t get their lizard tongues tangled together.

  33. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family

    I vote that they get exactly as much respect for their privacy as the Palins received.

  34. The story I get is that Al came home one day and found a huge, tricked out tour bus with its engine idling in the driveway. When he stormed into the house, he found Tipper having a summit meeting with the entire Wu-Tang Clan…….if you get my drift……

  35. Al needed more time to devote to his search for Manbearpig.

  36. Tip just couldn’t take it.
    No, she just couldn’t take it…

    1. I see what you did there. 🙂

  37. So, I wonder if Al ever refered to his member as “The Tipping Point”

  38. I can FINALLY get that blowjob.

  39. Forty years.

    It is such a tragedy that a marriage would break up like that.

  40. I need to update my comparisons between Bill Clinton and Al Gore.

    Al Gore: Vice President
    Bill Clinton: Vice

    Al Gore: Internet
    Bill Clinton: Intern

    Al Gore: Senator’s son
    Bill Clinton: Somebody’s son

    Al Gore: Tipper
    Bill Clinton: Fuck ‘er — with a cigar.

    Al Gore: Separated
    Bill Clinton: Bent

  41. I had to give Al props for that kiss. Anyone who sticks their tongue in Tipper Gore’s mouth with the expectation of withdrawing anything more than bloody stump has balls you’d need a wheelbarrow to tote around.

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