Or Else They'll Have to Write a Strongly Worded Letter

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As I blogged last week, the South Korean government has quietly suggested that explosive residue found in the wreckage of its sunken naval vessel clearly indicated North Korean involvement. Now, according to the Washington Post, the government in Seoul will formally charge Kim Jong-Il's dictatorship with the attack, which took the lives of 46 sailors.

South Korea reached its conclusion that North Korea was responsible for the attack after investigators from Australia, Britain, Sweden and the United States pieced together portions of the ship at the port of Pyongtaek, 40 miles southwest of Seoul. The Cheonan sank on March 26, following an explosion that rocked the vessel as it sailed in the Yellow Sea off South Korea's west coast.

The officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because South Korea has yet to disclose the findings of the investigation, said that subsequent analysis determined that the torpedo was identical to a North Korean torpedo that had previously been obtained by South Korea.

With the end of the failed "Sunshine Policy," it is unclear what, if any, response is forthcoming. As the Post notes, North Korean "artillery could—within minutes—devastate greater Seoul, which has a population of 20.5 million."

In other North Korean Are Crazy news, Zimbabwean scumbag Robert Mugabe plans to ship a "Noah's Ark" of animals to the malnourished prisoners of the Hermit Kingdom:

The British conservation group Born Free has joined the outcry against a plan by Zimbabwe to ship a "Noah's Ark" of wildlife, including two young elephants, to North Korea.

News reports last week said the animals, reportedly two of every species in Zimbabwe's 14,600 square kilometer Hwange National Park, are to be a gift from Zimbawean President Robert Mugabe to his North Korean counterpart, Kim Jong Il.

The title reference, from this brilliant scene in Team America:

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  1. The problem is, a lot of times with regimes such as this, the choices are between “a strongly worded letter” and “war”, sometimes even “World War III” or “a nuclear war”.

    1. I suspect that the North Korean government may actually be hoping for a war. It may be the only way that government can hope to survive. Without war there is no “Point” to all of the preperation for war that preocupies the people most of the time.

      Everything they do it seems is “prepare for war”. OK, the people may be asking themselves, what is the point of this again? Why am I giving up another meal today?

    2. There is no need for war….give another decade or two, kim will die of old age and eventually as time inches by theyll make small capitalist reforms and then soon North Korea will probably turn into present day Vietnam-a non threat

      1. And sit idly by while the Norks commit ever stronger acts of aggression?

      2. Also, Vietnam didn’t have any of our allies nearby to threaten. Kim’s death throes may not be such a pleasant experience for Japan and South Korea as one would think.

      3. “””present day Vietnam-a non threat””””

        So it will turn into another communist dictatorship which rents out it citizens for low wages to globalist corporations while keeping the workers in line so they don’t upset things.

        So when will Reason Mag write up the first article praising “free trade” with the North Koreans. After all, as long as a country opens itself up so that globalist corporations have access to cheap labor and resources then it can be as dictatorial as it wants and the “free traders” will praise it.

        1. And Walmart can roll back them prices.

          1. Win-win for us! I dream of a day when I can buy blue jeans for $8. They better include the watch pocket and no skimping on the depth of the front pockets either.

      4. All that needs to be done is stop all aid and trade of any sort with North Korea. The country would starve to death or change. Harsh but true.

        I call it the “Stew in Your Own Juche” plan.

        1. I agree with aid that is conducted by the government, but trade should be encouraged…whenever there are sanctions or trade restrictions they always end up hurting the little guy…the most elite in North Korea will still be able to feed themselves, but the peasants will get nothing..

          1. Of course it hurts the little guy, but the system there is built on hurting the little guy, and has been for 60 years. Is it really better for the victims to (in effect) keep sending food to the hostage-takers and their hostages who have been holed up in a bank for generations, or force the issue and get it over with?

        2. North Korea already has very little trade with the outside world. Sanctions would be pointless.

          1. True, but they get a lot of “humanitarian aid.” I question how humanitarian it is, in the long run.

        3. I wonder if they play music on a Juche box?

          (very bad)

  2. How many starving citizens will Lil Kim be able to feed with all those tasty critters?

    1. Kim himself. Just like he ate that giant rabbit. The people will still go hungry.

  3. I’ve never seen elephant on the menu down at the Korean BBQ place…

    1. “How about a monkey? They’re like nature’s humans.”

      “You want monkey? We got monkey.”

      1. So, eating monkey is like eating Soylent Green without the stigma?

        Perhaps I should watch this show.

  4. First it was Night of the Lepus sized rabbits from Germany, now this. Kim eats better than Brando in that movie with Matthew Broderick.

  5. War is the health of the state.

  6. This really is a tough situation. If the South doesn’t do SOMETHING, they’ll lose face. But doing anything would cause hella devastation to Seoul. The North has nothing to lose.

    Tough place to be.

    1. “hella”? Really?

  7. I’m picturing Kim Jong-Il as that noxious Gilly character from Saturday Night Live.

    The UN’s all like “Illy…”

    Il goes “Uh-huh.”

    “Illy…”

    “…Sorry.”

  8. How hard would it be for SK to knowck out NK’s artillery?

    1. I assume it wouldnt be too hard but the thing is there is literally artillery pointed at south korea just a few feet from the DMZ zone so theres not much they can do to stop the heavy casualties that would result from those cannons

    2. Not at all hard. They could easily do it by a half-hour or so after Seoul was rubble.

    3. Not so fast, arm chair generals.

      The Koreans have had over 50 years to place their artillery inside fortified bunkers inside the hills and mountains.

      Eventually, they could be knocked out, but not before Seoul was flattened.

  9. North Korean “artillery could?within minutes?devastate greater Seoul, which has a population of 20.5 million.”

    How long would it take for a B61 to destroy North Korea? I don’t know why the civilized world allows the only nuclear armed mental asylum to remain in existence. It would be so easy to wipe them out. Or to wipe enough of them out and let the rest know their fate is sealed. Sorry for speaking like that but it really is us or them.

    1. Because sane people don’t want to start wars with counties who have millions of innocent citizens such as South Korean civilians under a gun and also don’t want to nuke a country where most of the causalities will be innocent North Koreans. I am sure that the government of North Korea has provided itself with lots of nice deep bunkers so they will be the last to die no matter how many nukes you drop on them. And before you kill them the leadership of North Korea millions of North and South Korean civilians will be dead.

      1. Or you don’t and they decide to kill the South Koreans anyway, but now it’s worse.

        I’m not arguing either way, but it’s not insane to suggest a first strike on North Korea may save the most lives. If there’s one country in the world that could plausibly decide to start a nuclear war it wouldn’t survive just because, that country is North Korea.

        1. As far as the North Korean civilians go, how would we treat civilians on a hijacked airliner heading for the White House? Now imagine that most of them have a serious case of Stockholm syndrome. Tragic, but you’re not saving them by refusing to shoot the plane.

  10. As the Post notes, North Korean “artillery could?within minutes?devastate greater Seoul, which has a population of 20.5 million.”

    And drag the United States into the fray in the process by attacking the servicemen stationed there.

    Which would probably drag China into the mess.

    I am really surprised that China hasn’t shut down/annexed/replaced the leadership of that little festering sore they’ve been protecting all these years.

    1. The same reason we should have left Saddam alone in Iraq — he’s useful for distracting their enemies from time to time.

    2. The Chinese don’t do it because the North Koreans are not their puppets, they have some influence over them but they don’t control them. The Chinese probably think that North Korean leadership is as crazy as we do and so they don’t want to push them to far to the point where they do something really crazy. If the Chinese try to send their army in to take over the North Koreans will fight them as hard as they would fight the South Koreans or the USA

      1. Perhaps I don’t understand certain particulars of Chinese thought, but you’d think that at this point, they realize that N. Korea is a serious wild card set to completely F up China’s plans to get gloriously rich. While they surely enjoy Kim’s ability to be a thorn in the side of the West now and then, they’ve got to be smart enough to realize he may be an even bigger problem for them. I don’t know to what extent North Korea ever was China’s puppet, but once you have nukes, the strings are cut.

        1. In my opinion, the cost to China of attempting to change NK is greater than the risk of leaving them be. NK also recognizes this and is good at not being too big a pain in the ass for China.

  11. Doooooooooooouchebag!

  12. Hans Brix responded to the Team America scene at the Arms Control Association’s 2006 annual meeting. Needless to say, he disputes the accuracy of the portrayal.

    1. Wow. If a guy in his position even acknowledged the existence of Team America, you know that had to have hit close to home.

  13. Mugabe should redouble the Ark’s contingent of bunnies :

    http://adamant.typepad.com/sei…..er_ki.html

  14. President Kim Jong-Il publicly announced last fall that he didn’t consider the 1956 cease-fire to be valid any longer.

    It’s time for South Korea to mobilize and start shooting back. And for the US to decide if we’re going to honor our commitment to help them do it.

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