Reason Morning Links: Cops Raid Blogger, GOP Stalls Wall Street Bill, Chicago Pols Want National Guard on City Streets


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  1. The Internet[sic] has been a massive disappointment!

    The internets will be until they pony up three girls and a cup.

  2. Yes, the filibustered the “reform” bill.

  3. Chicago politicians want National Guard to patrol the city.

    Sounds about right. Have you been there?

    1. Posse, come to us!

    2. I’m wondering how one could tell the difference. The attire is basically the same. I’m guessing the only way you could tell is that the National Guardsmen are in better shape.

      1. And they have different logos.

      2. After working with some National Guardsmen, sadly, thats probably not true.

    3. What could possibly go wrong?

      1. Oh nothing at all; we *love* National Guard patroling our streets.

      2. Who ever keeps posting as these different names: good job, keep it up.

    4. While I don’t support this at all, I’ve ventured out to the west and south side of Chicago, and it’s more or less a third-world country out there. Last year there was a funeral for a guy that was killed by a drive-by. At the funeral there was another drive-by that killed six of his friends.

      1. The McCain campaign should’ve highlighted this.

        Hey, Obama, you were a “community organizer” in Chicago for years. And yet it’s still mired in crime, poverty, miseducation, corruption, and suffering. What did you ever do to help your (adopted) home town?

        1. Oh yeah? Ask me who my favorite team is!
          That’s right: The White Sox. And my favorite player? All of them!

      2. Is that where the Michigan 7 got their idea? Kill one to lure others to the funeral.

      3. Read any local D.C. news lately?

  4. Joe Kennedy: Not a bootlegger after all?

    But he definitely was a Nazi, so he’s still A Great Man.

    (That’s how the Kennedy thing works, right?)

    1. I heard he set fire to his barn so he could collect the insurance money on his horses. What a dick.

      1. She was a beautiful, innocent creature!

        1. Steve Nash it the shit.

          1. Steve Smith is shit.


  5. “I’m open to anything that reduces violence.” Weis said

    Open to ‘anything’ EXCEPT getting rid of Chicago’s absolute failure of a gun ban.

    1. “I’m open to anything that reduces violence.” Weis said

      End prohibition?
      Arm the citizens?
      Nuke it from orbit?

      They all say they’re adventurous and “open to anything” until I put on the gloves and the mask.

    2. Rudy Guiliani could use a job.

    3. Arm every Chicagoan (who isn’t an ex-con) & require carry.

      1. They don’t want a militia, you maniac, they want the National Guard!

  6. Today’s writing assignment, write MNG’s response as if the articles below were about GOP politicians and investment banks instead of Dem politicians and GSEs.

    In Bid To Reform Fannie and Freddie, Obama Can’t Shake Crony Clintonistas Who Caused the Mess

    Dogged by Leading Role in Mortgage Meltdown, Andrew Cuomo Personifies Democrats’ Reversal of Fortune

    1. Look who the top 3 are:

      Update: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac Invest in Lawmakers
      …Current members of Congress have received a total of $4.8 million from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, with Democrats collecting 57 percent of that. …

      1. un-fucking-believable

        GM was bad enough, but now they’re lobbying for more of our money with… our money.

    2. Huh huh, it’s amazing that people still peddle that crap. Also, Piltdown Man.

    3. Can’t. It’s Starve-A-Troll Tuesday?.

      1. Not even for this?

        …It appears that this aggressive expansion of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac into subprime lending was a political strategy adopted by their leaders in response to heightened congressional scrutiny and criticism in the wake of the accounting scandals at the agencies that emerged during 2003 to 2004 and which threatened to lead to a revocation of their favored status as government-sponsored enterprises. Fannie and Freddie aggressively restyled their lending operations as the promotion of affordable housing and actively encouraged retail lenders to generate mortgages with those characteristics. As a result, not only did the number of subprime loans explode in the 2005 to 2007 period, but a disproportionate number of these loans were made to the riskiest borrowers or had extremely high risk characteristics, such as negative amortization, interest-only, high-LTV, or very low FICO scores.

    4. I don’t have to justify anything to you or your wacky ideology.

      1. Just before my last post of the day (I’ll be away from my computer all day starting pretty much now), MNG totally surrenders. Kewl.

      2. Stop pretending to be me, fake MNG.

        1. Ha,ha. Real funny. Although I should have expected that libertarians will start spoofing those they cannot last two minutes in an argument with.

          I love spanking you guys. It’s just so easy.

          1. I have to give you credit. You do a really good impersonation, but there is no substitute for the real thing.

            1. Just come out from behind the fake handle, coward.

              1. I think one of you is afraid and the other is glad of it.

            2. If I get a vote, I vote against the spoof treatment for MNG.
              He may be misguided, but he’s no Dan T.

              1. A libertarian calling for a vote? That’s rich.

                1. Stop spoofing me. I would never say anything that stupid.

                  1. Oh, if only I had the time and inclination to compile a greatest hits album…

                    1. I defy you to find something I’ve ever said that was stupid.

                    2. Now that’s funny.

                    3. Should I include “and” & “the”?

      3. I don’t have to justify my wacky ideology.

  7. The stupidity of Chicago politicians never fails to amaze. First, despite outrageous tax rates, they cannot provide the most basic service expected of a municipality, police protection. Their solution to this, rather than stopping stealing long enough to fix the problem is to call out the National Guard. Certainly the National Guard, who generally have no law enforcement training patrolling the streets with automatic weapons is such a fantastic idea. Worked so well at Kent State. Let’s call out the National Guard so the Chicago machine can continue to steal. They are worse than Mugabe.

    1. It’s only been 40 years (on May 5th) since Kent State. I guess we really haven’t had time to learn anything.

      I did a story connected to the anniversary for Sunday’s paper. It certainly wasn’t a paen to the dead students. But still, the idiocy of a few of the comments on our Web site was breathtaking.

      1. I don’t exactly have much love for the hippies or the anti-war movement. But, it is a really bad idea to put people into a volatile situation with automatic weapons, unless you plan to shoot people. They could have used non-lethal weapons and controlled the situation and not killed anyone.

        Actually, the National Guard learned from Kent State. They are absolutely loath to put armed soldiers in the streets. It is only the politicians who ever think it is a good idea.

        1. From which comes Niven’s first law:
          Never throw shit at a man with a gun.

      2. Reekin’ Urinal?

    2. Come now John, does Harare have …. a ‘Bean’?

      1. Hey, that’s not my name!

      2. Well, Harare isn’t beanbag….

        1. Leave it to Beavis and Butthead to correct the grammar from the original phrase…

  8. Joe Kennedy wasn’t a bootlegger, he was an insider trader. He married the daughter of the mayor of Boston. And he was able to get in as a stock broker with massive connections. He got rich on inside information. That is why FDR made him the head of the SEC. He was the biggest crook anyone knew. It is like hiring a counterfeiter to work for the Secret Service.

    1. The only good Kennedy is a Dead Kennedy.

      And the only thing better than a Dead Kennedy is a tortured Kennedy.

  9. MNG! MNG! MNG!

  10. Off topic — Woodward & Bernstein (what, they’re still a duet?) are scheduled to drop some wisdom at my office tomorrow morning.
    Should I attend? If so, why?

    1. You should probably go and fling poop at them. Poop, or rocks, or maybe mice. Make sure to fling, though.

      1. My own poop, or someone else’s?

        1. I guess it would depend on how big of a bucket you have, and how much you can poop.

        2. Whichever’s easier for you to get.

    2. You should attend. Those guys are an extinct remnant of the era when the media did their job, instead of being a bunch of worthless government ass-kissers.

      1. It is hard to believe that there was a time when investigative journalism was more than just exposes on gypsy driveway pavers ripping off the elderly.

  11. I read some of the articles about Chicago, yesterday. Strangely enough, there was not even a hint of a complete breakdown of trust in the Chicago Police Dept. But those people sure are scared of guns.

  12. Joe Kennedy?

    1. Yeah. Do you realize that Joseph P. Kennedy Sr. was one of the figures represented by Lionel Luthor (father of Luthor, the one with no first name until eventually Lex) on the TV show Smallville? The character’s son was a combination of Teddy and Rose. Clark Kent’s father was made out to be Jack.

      Other figures represented by Lionel Luthor were Prometheus and Frankenstein (the modern Prometheus). Clark Kent represented Alger Hiss, and Lex Luthor also represented Whittaker Chambers.

      I know nothing of the show in recent years, but in its beginnings Gough & Millar were heavy allusionists — but you’d already know that from their Shanghai movies.

  13. Citizen-

    Of course you should go. One of those guys still appears on ABC Sunday, right? Maybe you can get him to kick Krugman in the dick for us. I’ll chip in fifty cents.

    1. Maybe you can get him to kick Krugman in the dick for us.

      Krug doesn’t have one. And with that, I’m outta here.

    2. “Bob, I got a dollar ninty-seven says you kick Krugman in what passes for his dick this Sunday.”

      Hmmmm. Just might work.

      1. Make it an even $3, I’ll cough up $1.03.
        Just don’t let this Woodward character forget who he works for.

  14. European basketball brings the lulz.

      1. Over it is not until over it is.

        1. That’s probably older than shit, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it –made me laugh.

    1. Where was the T for too many men on the court? The guy didnt even need to make that shot.

    2. When I was in junior high we won the league championship basically the same way. I still love showing my cousin (who was on the opposing team) the video of them running towards the bench too early.

  15. But just as earlier generations were disappointed to see that neither the telegraph nor the radio delivered on the world-changing promises made by their most ardent cheerleaders, we haven’t seen an Internet-powered rise in global peace, love, and liberty.

    I stopped reading right there.

    1. Yep — That’s got to rank high on the list of the most stupid sentences ever written, for so, so many reasons.

    2. I made it two more paragraphs:

      Sadly enough, a networked world is not inherently a more just world.

    3. New Flash: Internet doesn’t accomplish what only stupid people thought it would; women, minorities hit hardest.

  16. Reid has brought up a surprise vote on a “motion to instruct the sergeant at arms to request the attendence of absent senators.”

    1) Sorry, Harry. You’ll have to sic the National Guard on me.

    2) Present.

  17. Instead of the National Guard, send a shitload of FBI agents to Chicago, to conduct a thorough corruption investigation. After all the cops have been put in prison, they can start over.

    They can repeal all the gun laws, and form a citizens’ militia. It couldn’t possibly be worse than what’s there, right now.

    1. I want to join Corporal Carrot’s army.

  18. What if the Tea Party protesters were Black?

    Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters ?the black protesters ? spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester ? these black protesters with guns ? be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

    1. And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

      Not one single drop of fail in here. Nope.

      Also, I note that this dude is a cracker-ass cracker.

      1. The guilt is strong in this one.

        Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place.

        1. What a con artist. He has made a whole no doubt lucrative career out of getting people to pay him to teach them how not to be racist. If you want the training, doesn’t that by definition mean you are not racist?

          1. “If you want the training, doesn’t that by definition mean you are not racist?”
            You know how cops sometimes hire crooks to teach the tricks of the other side? What about the racists who take the anti-racist training to learn to become more effective racists?
            Huh? How ’bout that?

            1. “Lately, I’ve felt that I just wasn’t racist enough. My insensitive remarks and politically incorrect jokes just didn’t seem to have any punch. I wasn’t offending anyone. That’s when I decided to attend my workplace’s Diversity Sensitivity training. I learned all about how a decent, non-racist person should behave, and then acted in the exact opposite way, all the time! Now everyone hates me, and I can’t seem to go five seconds without offending some spic or darkie somewhere. Thanks, Diversity Sensitivity! Now I’m the racist I always wanted to be.”

          1. “He doesn’t make a lick of sense, but man that guy can yell really loud. I’m convinced!”

          2. When compliments go wrong:

            His argument draws its strength more from the force of his conviction than from the rigor of his analysis.

            That was a thinly-veiled insult.

      2. Also, I note that this dude is a cracker-ass cracker.

        White people complaining about white privilege is pretty stupid.

        Do Malays in Malaysia complain about Malay privilege? Do Chinese in Singapore complain about Chinesr privilege?

    2. Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition.

      It’s easy if you try.

  19. I vote against the spoof treatment for MNG.
    He may be misguided, but he’s no Dan T.

    You apparently haven’t read yesterday’s Skoolteechurz thread.

    1. Sweet, sticky motherfuck he went full retard on that thread. A utilitarian with any sort of principles would never cause that much misery for his own enjoyment.

    2. No – I missed that one. My problem is that’s it’s getting where I can’t tell spoofers from spoofees, the real idiocy from fake — as if there wasn’t enough real idiocy to go around.

      1. But isn’t that proof that the trolls hold little value? I’m not easy to imitate, and neither are you or PL or Epi or J sub D or P Brooks.

        If what you are going to say is so easily anticipated, what’s the point?

        1. Spoof better, spoofer.

    3. I missed that. What did he say? MNG is slowly turning into Joe.

      1. Nothing in particular, he was just using the ‘whack a mole’ approach to posting. Arguing with every point for no good reason, and with more snark than conviction.

        Like when someone posts just to rile you, and not because of their beliefs.

        …if only we had a word for that

        1. People who deny reality and want to see the world in nothing but black and white.

          …if only we had a word for that.

          Oh, that’s right. Libertarianism.

          1. So you’re saying all Libertarians see things in black and white?


            1. Actually, from what I read in the papers, libertarians only see things in white.

          2. People who don’t understand the difference between reality and “the inevitable” gives me the lulz.

          3. Like when someone posts just to rile you, and not because of their beliefs.

            MNG@10:15 ^

      2. His Pi?ata-style** Kung-fu was truly awesome.

        **in which one wears a blindfold, and swings wildly in a general direction.

  20. Shouldn’t the headline read” Republicans and Democrats filibuster financial reform bill?

  21. I’m loving the fact that Apple is bringing the hate to Gizmodo.

    I enjoy the Giz a lot, but their relentless fanboyism for Apple is tiring. I’m wondering if siccing the police on them might make them rethink their adoration.

    1. I don’t see how finding a lost device in a bar and reporting on it is a crime. Apple is a company not the government. They want their trade secrets treated like classified information. Fuck you apple. Tell your dumb ass employees to be more careful.

      1. Actually, John, it’s worse than that.

        If I’m a journalist and someone pushes classified documents through my mail chute, I can print them all I want and nobody can say shit about it.

        But if someone pushes Apple’s 4G phone through my mail chute and I write about it, or code to hack DVD encryption and I write about it, I’ve committed a crime.

        The DMCA actually is an even greater outrage against free speech and the free press than our national security state.

        1. I didn’t realize it was that bad. The DMCA is horrible.

        2. I didn’t realize it was that bad. The DMCA is horrible.

        3. I didn’t realize it was that bad. The DMCA is horrible.

        4. John, what do you think about the DMCA?

          1. You’d never dare to criticize a triple post by a Muslim.

        5. I dont think this is so much a DMCA type thing as a receiving stolen goods type thing.

          Personally I dont buy the whole “found it in a bar” line or the “we tried to return it by calling tech support” bit at all.

          1. I think they are using a CA law that is alleging that Giz should have known it belonged to Apple and they had an obligation to return it. IANAL.

            Of course, it isn’t like Apple doesn’t overreact a lot when it comes to secrecy. Check out this story about an engineer getting fired for showing Woz an iPad just a few minutes after midnight on the Launch Day of the iPad. Shit if Apple can’t trust Woz, who can they trust?

            I’ve owned Apples in the past, and currently use a Macbook Pro as my primary laptop, but this close mindedness is exactly why they survive on margin and not market share.

  22. Son, I am massive disappoint!

  23. Otarian, the Carbon Neutral Restaurant

    The Otarian Menufesto includes delicious and Earth-conscious items such as:

    ROasted TomatO SOup
    BeetrOOt O Feta Salad
    ROasted Vegetable COuscOus
    VegO Burger
    ChOc O MOusse
    Panna COtta O Berry

    Carbon Karma Credits reward you for every purchase you make. It’s our way of saying thanks for supporting a healthy you and a healthy planet.

    1. And they strap a hose to your ass to run their methane-powered generator.

    2. Holy shit! I’m chartering a flight to New York just so I can get one of these sandwiches and reduce the carbon in the atmosphere!

        1. Not a bad gimmick to milk the greens. Let me know if they go public.

        2. We know that to save one life is to save a world entire; that one seed holds within the possibility of regenerating all the world’s forests. And even if one Otarian meal saves a kilogram of carbon emissions and grain or a litre of water or oil, imagine the cumulative benefits of Otarian eating! Together we can change the planet’s current trajectory! Otarian’s goal is to provide guests with delicious vegetarian alternatives and, in so doing, to empower them to make a positive impact on the environment one meal at a time. This is why Otarian has undertaken ground breaking research and provided the first ever comprehensive CO2e footprint for every item on our menu. Each person has a role to play, a significant contribution to make and at Otarian we’ve made it easy for you to see exactly how much you are helping life and the planet.

          Holy shit! I can’t wait to do my part!

          1. She has some cute mixed in with the crazy.

            1. I’d give her the old shit-in-her-cleavage, that’s for sure.

            2. Works for me. Crazy and all.

          2. “Otarian” sounds like some species out of Star Trek. I don’t want to eat it.

    3. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      Sorry I don’t have more to add đŸ™‚

  24. The Internet has been a massive disappointment!
    Republicans filibuster financial reform bill.
    Morons doing things for the wrong reason.
    Chicago politicians want National Guard to patrol the city.
    Imagine that, Chicago a police state. Morons.
    Police raid Gizmodo blogger’s house after post about iPhone prototype.
    Google and Apple to merge. New slogan, “Do all kinds of EVIL.” *puts pinky finger to mouth and laughs maniacally*
    Joe Kennedy: Not a bootlegger after all?
    No one was a bootlegger. They just all had hobbies.

    1. I love how the LA Times puts nanny state in scare quotes as if accusing the county of nanny statism is somehow unfair or open to question…

    2. Judging actual reactions to toyless fast-food-in-a-cardboard-carton I have observed in the wild, I believe they are properly called “Unhappy Meals”.

    3. “People ask why I want to take toys out of the hands of children,” said Yeager, who is president of the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors. “But we now know that 70% of the kids that are overweight or obese will be overweight or obese as adults. Why would we want to burden anybody with a lifetime of chronic illness?”

      Stop looking at me. Maybe you should ask the parents of obese children this question. I think you will find that the toys are not the problem.

  25. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence

    Was this lifted from a recruitment poster for the Chicago PD?

    1. I like the term “violent rhetoric”. Words are like bullets, you know.

      1. No. Words sting worse. That’s why they matter.

      2. incendiary rhetoric

        I can light fires… with my words!

        1. You can induce vomiting, anyway.

          1. We’ve finally identified SF’s super power.

            1. Enter… The Nauseator! And introducing his young sidekick, Queasy!

              “Quick, Queasy! To the Vomitmobile! Somewhere, someone is eating lunch at his desk while reading Hut & Run and he must pay!”

              1. Generally speaking, isn’t reading H&R its own punishment?

              2. Vomitmobile doesn’t really sing. Perhaps Barfmobile??

                1. Barfmobile isn’t bad, but it should be in of itself something that is nauseating. A carnival ride, perhaps. The Gravitron is a little too UFO-y and the Twirling Tea cups too twee by half.

                  Or we could go all fancy and call it the Sartremobile.

                  1. A GIS for “vomit inducer” taught me that exists. What was that about the internet being a failure, again?

                    I was looking for the name of those 3 degree of freedom spinning things that they put astronauts in to make them puke. The Barfmobile needs to have one of them.

                    1. Warty: The Vomit Comet?

                    2. No, not the plane, although that would be an appropriate plane for VomitMan. I was looking for that device that has three concentric rings that can all rotate independently. Lemmiwinks was in one.

                    3. Orbitron! I rode in one at some nerd-camp when I was a kid. It wasn’t as much fun as it looked.

                    4. I might be going to adult space camp in Huntsville this fall. But I’ll be paid to do it, so I’m not really a nerd.

            2. A little creepy that SF and Obama have the exact same superpower…

              1. You’re startin’ to scare me, KfP.

                1. And that’s MY superpower, the ability to instill nameless dread…

          2. It is my gift, my curse… that’s why we can never be together, T.

            1. I’ll try to contain my sadness, SF. Perhaps it will follow me around like a cloud.

              1. So I’m getting the sin cloud in the break-up? Woo!

  26. Id like to know exactly WHAT crime that blogger committed? I mean seriously what a joke.


  27. People keep leaving theirbabies in cars

    1. Hey, I rolled up all the windows so no one would steal him!!

    1. “As a Jew, I am totally offended by them wearing the uniforms,” he said. “But, as an American citizen, I totally uphold their right to dress however they want to dress.”

      Someone gets it.

    2. He said that although men dressed as Nazis were at the downstairs show, at the same time a largely gay dance party was going on upstairs.

      “There was a man on the second floor wearing a wedding dress,” he said. “I don’t think he had any problems going out on 2nd Street.”

      Hmmm. Maybe they were just on the wrong floor.

      1. No, the dumbasses went only three deep to a fucking punk rock concert and got their asses handed to them by real skinheads. They hate those mein-kampf motherfuckers.

  28. People keep leaving theirbabies in cars

    They should leave them in the cloakroom at Victoria Station; it’s vastly more amusing.

  29. Chicago politicians want National Guard to patrol the city.

    The only thing stopping that are other Chicago pols, who profit from the way things are in Chicago.

    Chicago- the capital of racism, anti-Judaism, police corruption, police brutality, and gun control.

  30. Chicago politicians want National Guard to patrol the city.

    SO they want Chicago put under martial law. Interesting.

    Upside: martial law means the current civil authorities are out of power and the police are under the orders of the military governor.

    Downside: I’m drawing a blank. There won’t be any loss of civil liberties that I can see.

    I say go for it.

    1. Wait, if the military is going to be trying to fighting the organized bands of crooks and thugs who are responsible for violence, crime, and poverty in Chicago, does that mean they’re going to raid the Chicago DNC offices?

  31. It looks like some Dim Senators are upset with Facebook and want to give them some ‘helpful’ advice on how to run their business model.

    Senator Chuck Schumer and Senator Al Franken — Al Franken?


    Al Franken, Al fuckin’ Franken. That jackass is a Senator. They really did it!
    I’ve known about for well over a year now, but holy shit that just wops you on the side the head every time you stop to think about it.
    Holy shit.

    1. Send your donations to me……Al Franken.

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